April, 2010
April 3rd, 2010, 12:35 p.m. - WWSD?
The Amazing Race - "Anonymous?": Caite and Brent are like termites: they're really annoying and they never go away. I'm just glad Jet and Cord are around for at least one more leg. I need their humor and relative intelligence to balance out the crazy people. Rating: 5 coconuts
American Idol - Top 10 perform and one goes home: Speaking of termites, Tim! Get out of here! I can't believe Didi got voted out before him or Katie. That's ridiculous. Can we ban teenagers from voting once in a while? That might work. Rating: 3 times I thought I was having a nightmare when Usher performed
Lost - "The Package": Remember a couple weeks ago when I said that from now on, when I'm stuck, I'm going to ask myself what Lisbeth Salander would do? Forget that. I'm going to ask myself what Sun would do. I love that they keep sneaking in characters from past seasons (first Keamy, now Mikhail) and incorporating them in the sideways-world plots. It makes my head hurt, but I still love it. And Desmond's back! Who can complain when Desmond's back? Rating: 5 unbelievably cute pictures of Ji Yeon
America's Next Top Model - "America's Next Top Vampire": Hmmm, it's not just me, Anslee really does suck. (Oh, vampire pun! I'm so clever!) Kudos to Tatianna for practically coming out of nowhere to win the challenge, and Alasia for being called first for the second week in a row. It's always nice when a variety of girls show their strengths. It makes it harder to predict who will still be around at the end of the season. Though my money's on Raina to win it all. Rating: 4 pairs of fangs
Survivor - "I'm Not a Good Villain": The first episode I get to watch in three weeks, and Rob goes home? This season sucks. Rating: 2 brain cells Coach appears to have left
Grey's Anatomy - "Sympathy for the Parents": I can't believe it took this long for us to find out all this stuff about Alex. Though I have to admit, it was interesting to have a character on the show who isn't as known to us as the others are. And it fit with Alex; he's not the sort of person who would spill all his secrets to his friends, even Izzie. We've heard bits and pieces about him in the past, but this made the picture a little clearer. It just makes him that much more interesting. Rating: 4 times I wondered out loud if April's going to be fired again, now that she's been responsible for the deaths of two patients in six months
Project Runway - "Sew Much Pressure": Maya is an idiot. She's never going to get an opportunity like this again. If you didn't think you were ready going into the season, why try out in the first place? And she was in the final six! She had a shot at winning! I do love that Anthony was brought back and promptly won a challenge (with a dress I, too, loved). Deal with it, haters. Rating: 4 times (at least) I wondered what the heck Mila was thinking this week
April 4th, 2010, 9:54 p.m. - In honor of Easter, Jet and Cord's gameplay is resurrected
April 6th, 2010, 11:28 p.m. - Well, now I don't want Andrew to get voted off if it'll make Lee cry
"You're Waiting for Someone to Perform With"
April 10th, 2010, 12:21 p.m. - Next week on Idol, will someone play a sousaphone?
The Amazing Race - "You're Like Jason Bourne, Right?": The cowboys going from last to first without even really putting in that much extra effort was possibly the most awesome moment of the season. Ironically, it shared an episode with the least awesome moment of the season, Steve and Allie getting eliminated. And yet it was still a good episode. Love this show. Rating: 5 cups of tea
American Idol - Top nine perform and one goes home: Excellent and well-deserved use of the judges' save. I think Michael's bad luck was a result of voter complacency, and now that people see how close he came to elimination this week, they'll make sure it doesn't happen again. Especially not before Andrew goes home. I don't know what happened to him - at the beginning of the season, I was sure he would at least make the final four, but now I don't get how he's still here. He never lived up to his own hype, sadly. Rating: 4 didgeridoos
Lost - "Happily Ever After": Why are Desmond episodes always so good? Maybe because they're so different from other episodes. I hope they don't end up killing him. But I guess we can't end the series with both Penny and Desmond being happy and Jin and Sun being happy. That's not how J.J. Abrams does things. Rating: 5 notebooks Daniel writes weird stuff in
America's Next Top Model - "Smile and Pose": Yay, Jessica! She's so dorky and fun. I hope she sticks around for a long time. What was up with Raina being third to last, though? It's not like they hated her photo or anything. At least I knew she had to be safe, since she was barely in the episode. I'm still hoping for a Raina/Jessica final two. Rating: 4 articles of clothing Jessica removed while trying to flirt with Nigel
Survivor - "Expectations": I was just as happy about Coach being voted out this week as I was when he was voted out in his original season. And big kudos to Courtney and Sandra for getting it done, especially when they've barely done anything this season. It was kind of a surprise, too - the way Tribal Council was edited, I thought Courtney was done for. Now if they could only get rid of Russell... Rating: 3 slices of that disgusting-looking pizza they always serve at those challenges
Project Runway - "The Big, Top Designers": Yeah, I figured Anthony was a long shot for Bryant Park. But, as Tim mentioned, he won the challenge to have Heidi wear his dress on the cover of Marie Claire, and Jessica Alba will be wearing one of his other dresses, so he didn't exactly lose here. And it's better to have a great personality than win, Mila. Ug, she still annoys me so much. I hope Jay gets the third spot at Fashion Week, even though I didn't like his outfit this week. Rating: 3 acrobats
7:01 p.m. - I also sometimes ask myself, "What would Izzy Spellman do?"
10. The Spellmans Strike Again (Lisa Lutz)
Up next: Pill Head (Joshua Lyon)
April 11th, 2010, 10:09 p.m. - Lame title, awesome picture
April 13th, 2010, 10:48 p.m. - I refuse to apologize for all the Glee references
April 18th, 2010, 1:06 p.m. - "Sometimes I forget my middle name"
The Amazing Race - "Dumb Did Us In": Freaking A. I hate that Caite got exactly what she wanted. I hate that she and Brent are still in the race despite their ridiculous fights and horrible attitudes, and the fact that they can barely get from point A to point B without a disaster. There's almost always one annoying team in the final three, and I guarantee they'll be this season's. Rating: 3 ice cream sandwiches
House - "Lockdown": I was looking forward to this episode, but it was really disappointing. I liked Wilson and Thirteen's scenes, and that was about it. It was just another House-talks-to-someone-and-maybe-learns-something episode, and those are rarely good. I did like that Cuddy solved the mystery, though. She needs more to do. Rating: 2 stolen dollar bills
How I Met Your Mother - "Zoo or False": A lot of people really hated this episode, but I thought it was pretty good, especially the King Kong scene. I don't think I've ever laughed at anything on this show as hard as I laughed at that. And Ted using his model of the Empire State Building to reenact Sleepless in Seattle was great, too. A little too much emphasis on the monkey mugging, and the constant repetition of it, but still, a good episode. Rating: 4 paper airplanes
American Idol - Top nine perform (again) and two go home: Yay, the right people are going home! And America realized that we can't lose Michael! Something's working now! Rating: 4 lasers
Lost - "Everybody Loves Hugo": Including me! I liked the subtle answering of questions about Libby (she was in the institution because she has "problems with reality," which really means that she knows there are two timelines. My only real problem with the show right now is that I can't always remember where everyone is. There are too many groups of people in too many different places. It took me three minutes to figure out where Jin was. Rating: 5 buckets of chicken from Mr. Cluck's
Glee - "Hell-o": I thought this was a weak effort, especially for the first episode back from a long hiatus. I hope next week's Madonna episode is stronger. I did like the way they brought Sue back, without a lot of effort or complicated reasoning. She blackmailed her way back in - is anyone surprised? And, as always, I love Brittany. Now and forever. Rating: 3 plates of pasta with mice in them
America's Next Top Model - "New York Women": Wait, so Jessica's a bitca now? What's up with that? Also, now that Angelea's been called first, does that mean she'll shut up? Yeah, I won't hold my breath for that. Rating: 4 overheard confessionals
Survivor - "Survivor History": J.T., you...you just...I don't even have words, J.T. You're an idiot. Rating: 3 voluntarily given hidden immunity idols
Project Runway - "Finale, Part 1": Yeah, whatever, Mila's not going to win, so who cares if she's in the final three? Rating: 3 games of Pictionary
April 20th, 2010, 11:48 p.m. - It's almost like the more everyone sucks, the more awesome Crystal gets, and not just relatively speaking
"Life Was Nothing But an Awful Song"
April 21st, 2010, 10:37 p.m. - I subbed for ANTM and all I got was this boring, predictable episode (so, fittingly, I gave my recap a boring, predictable title)
April 24th, 2010, 3:28 p.m. - Most of the people in this book shouldn't still be alive
11. Pill Head (Joshua Lyon)
Up next: Living Oprah (Robyn Okrant)
6:42 p.m. - Sorry, tweens with cell phones, you'll have to vote for someone else now
Desperate Housewives - "We All Deserve to Die": That dude's a killer? Really? The guy whose name I can't even remember? Okay, I guess I'll go with it. I do like how they managed to have his next victim be an established character without killing off anyone the audience would care about. I'm interested to see how that plotline gets resolved while another killer is coming to town. Two killers in Fairview? Now, that's sweeps! By the way, if Lee doesn't come back, we're going to have a problem. Rating: 3 Irina was already married to
House - "Knight Fall": Meh. The only part I thought was interesting was the twist that the king was poisoning what's-his-face. We don't usually see that on the show. Rating: 3 wild carrots
How I Met Your Mother - "Home Wreckers": Also meh. The Drunk or Kid? game was funny, but I'm not sure how often they'll be able to go back to that well. I'm starting to feel like, after every episode, I need to remind the writers that we're five seasons in and still haven't met the mother. Let's step it up, people. Nice casting with Harry Groener, though. Love him. Rating: 3 termites
American Idol - Top seven perform and one goes home/Idol Gives Back: I guess I don't need to say yet again how awesome Crystal is and how she's already won this and how even if for some reason she doesn't win, she'll be the first to get a record deal, and...oh, look, I just did. Also, Tim's gone! Hallelujah! Rating: 4 jokes to prove Wanda Sykes is funnier than anyone else on this show
Lost - "The Last Recruit": I finally got my long-awaited Sun/Jin reunion! So happy! Other thoughts: no way is Desmond dead, I don't trust Claire, and Jack is weird. Rating: 4 boats
Glee - "The Power of Madonna": Parts of this were a little too much, but I liked a lot of it. The "Vogue" video was brilliant, and I really liked the "Like a Virgin" sequence. It was interesting to see an episode with just one artist's music, but I'm not sure they should do it again. Rating: 4 condoms I hope Finn and Santana used
America's Next Top Model - "Big Hair Day": I recapped this episode for RNO, so I already gave some of my thoughts on it, and there's not much else to add to it, since it was pretty boring. I'm glad to see Anslee go; I never liked her. And I've felt from the beginning that Krista would do better than expected, so I wasn't that surprised to see her do so well this week. Get Alexandra a personality and we'll have a very interesting final six. Rating: 3 lame insults shouted during the photo shoot
Survivor - "Going Down in Flames": I've never really liked Parvati and never thought she deserved to win the Fans vs. Favorites season, but this week she proved that she can play this game. That was some brilliant strategic maneuvering on her part. What's most impressive is that, other than getting the idol from Russell, she did the whole thing by herself. She didn't even tell anyone what she was planning. I never thought I would say this about Parvati, but she should be very proud of herself. Rating: 5 idols
The Office - "Secretary's Day": Where was the funny? Want more funny! Rating: 2 cookies
April 25th, 2010, 10:51 p.m. - Darn it, Jet and Cord are both taken!
April 27th, 2010, 9:44 p.m. - Well, I liked Crystal's performance. Not that that matters
Is this really the last Spellman book? I object! Lutz writes some of the most entertaining characters I've ever read, and each of her books is a fun read from the first page to the last. If she's not going to write more Spellman books, she'd better make up for that in an equally awesome way.
I've said before that I really appreciate honest memoirs, and this one falls into that category. Lyon could have easily added more drama to his story of painkiller addiction (which also features a few other addicts' stories), but instead he tells the truth, as embarrassing as it must be for him. This is not a memoir by a holier-than-thou recovered addict who wants you to know that you can get better, too. It's the story of a flawed, sometimes weak human who admits he still struggles.