April, 2018
April 1st, 2018, 6:13 p.m. - I need to read more space books
13. Endurance (Scott Kelly)
Up next: Red Clocks (Leni Zumas)
April 7th, 2018, 1:26 p.m. - "That's tragic. It's like a Hallmark movie, but with tentacles"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "The Box": God has truly blessed us by putting Sterling K. Brown on this planet. If this show doesn't get renewed for another season, I might cry actual tears. Rating: 5 broken awards
America's Next Top Model – "Beauty Is Commercial": If you'd told me at the beginning of the season that Kyla would get best photo going into the final round, I would have said you were crazy. I also would have said, "Who's Kyla?" because I didn't know she existed until around week 5. She's probably not going to win, though. I foresee it coming down to Khrystyana and Jeana. Rating: 3 stupid fake-outs leading to a final four
Modern Family – "Daddy Issues": I'm not really a Gabriel Iglesias fan, but he was great here. Gloria really pulled off a great (though, admittedly, mean) trick. Rating: 4 bras
Supernatural – "The Thing": I liked the twist of the damsel in distress actually being the monster, but the rest of this was meh. Can we get rid of Ketch already? Rating: 3 glowing rock things
April 8th, 2018, 3:28 p.m. - I liked this a lot more than I expected
14. Red Clocks (Leni Zumas)
Up next: Look Alive Out There (Sloane Crosley)
April 14th, 2018, 1:25 p.m. - I'm not mad, just disappointed
15. Look Alive Out There (Sloane Crosley)
Up next: The Lost Girls of Camp Forevermore (Kim Fu)
April 15th, 2018, 3:26 p.m. - "But...where is nerd?"
Killing Eve – "Nice Face": This was a lot of fun, and I'm excited to watch a show like this that's run by a woman. Great acting all around here. Rating: 4 lethal hair accessories
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "The Puzzle Master": The stunt-casting didn't work for me. And I've mostly forgotten the rest of the episode. Still, better than a lot of stuff on TV. Rating: 3 jackets worn over tank tops
America's Next Top Model – "Next Level Fierce": I don't even have words. This was ridiculous. Kyla may be the least deserving winner we've ever seen, and yet I can't be too upset about her win, because at least it wasn't Jeana. Either way, KHRYSTYANA WAS ROBBED. Rating: 3 B.S. eliminations
Modern Family – "ChiPs and Salsa": Mitch shouldn't be a prosecutor – he should be a judge. And Luke definitely shouldn't go to college. He did great in his job at the country club; he should turn that into something bigger. Rating: 4 salsa-related rashes
Supernatural – "Bring 'em Back Alive": Charlie! How awesome! That's the nice thing about alternate worlds – they can bring back dead characters. Can we have more Kevin and Bobby, too, please? Rating: 4 toxic bullets
April 20th, 2018, 9:27 p.m. - I'm not mad, just disappointed, part 2
16. The Lost Girls of Camp Forevermore (Kim Fu)
Up next: Meaty (Samantha Irby)
April 21st, 2018, 2:01 p.m. - "The only thing I'm not good at is modesty, because I'm great at it"
Killing Eve – "I'll Deal With Him Later": Still really enjoying this. I feel like Villanelle is really sloppy, though. She just must not care about getting caught. Rating: 4 perfume bottles full of toxins
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "Nutriboom"; "DFW": Nasim Pedrad was so good in the second episode. I felt like that was a Jenny Slate role, and she showed that she can do what Jenny Slate does. I also liked seeing fake Boyle again in the first episode. He's fun. Rating: 4 fake dates Gina arranged to actually set up Rosa with a bartender
Supernatural – "Funeralia": One of my favorite Rowena episodes. I'm glad they keep bringing her back. Rating: 4 dead reapers
April 28th, 2018, 1:31 p.m. - That drone host is going to haunt my nightmares
Killing Eve – "Don't I Know You?": Nooooo, not Bill! I'm sad. He was the best. I mean, he was dumb to go after Villanelle, but he didn't deserve this. Rating: 3 green scarves
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "Gray Star Mutual": Excellent use of Pimento. I wonder how he'll react when he learns that Rosa's bi. Rating: 4 wedding dresses that aren't too constricting, so you can still tackle criminals
Westworld – "Journey Into Night": So when do Maeve and Dolores team up and just start massacring people? Because I'm really looking forward to that. Rating: 3 dead tigers
Supernatural – "Unfinished Business": Tip: Don't have a character complain that something is a waste of time in an episode that made me feel the same way. This felt like just an hour for Richard Speight to engage in self-indulgence. There are only three episodes left in the season, people, and they haven't made any progress in the main plot. Let's get it together. Rating: 3 suicide missions by poor Kevin
April 29th, 2018, 5:39 p.m. - I just want to read Samantha Irby's books all day
17. Meaty (Samantha Irby)
Up next: The Last Day of Emily Lindsey (Nic Joseph)
This was so fascinating. I never knew how much work – often in the form of seemingly small tasks – it takes to stay alive in space, and how easily you can get yourself and your colleagues killed. Kelly's writing was really fun to read. Everything felt accessible and understandable. It was like sitting with someone while he told you a story about his experiences.
We must never let anyone in the GOP read this book. They'll use it as a blueprint for disaster.
I really like Crosley's writing, but this just...wasn't anything impressive. It was fine, I guess. I wanted a lot more.
You know what would have been nice? If something had happened.
Seriously, we need to be friends.