August, 2013
August 4th, 2013, 12:14 p.m. - Go away, Bryanboy
Whodunnit? - "All the World's a Stage": Geez, now there are elevators and hidden morgues? This house is ridiculous. Can we see more of Giles goofing off? We need some more of that humor. Rating: 3 scalpels
So You Think You Can Dance - Top 14 perform and two go home: Excuse me, America? WHY ARE YOU NOT VOTING FOR JASMINE? Thank God the judges are smarter than you all are. I feel bad because I didn't exactly dislike Alexis, but she overstayed her welcome. Girls more talented than her were cut. Rating: 4 apples
America's Next Top Model - "Meet the Guys & Girls of Cycle 20": ANTM plus hot guys with nice bodies? Yes, please! P.S. Does anyone know what Marvin's father does? They told us nine times, but I feel like a tenth time would really make it stick in my head. Rating: 4...uh...sorry, I got distracted looking at abs
August 10th, 2013, 4:02 p.m. - 11/22/63 + Groundhog Day + 100 extraneous pages
37. Life After Life (Kate Atkinson)
Up next: Self-Inflicted Wounds (Aisha Tyler)
August 11th, 2013, 1:18 p.m. - Go, monkey! Choose monkey!
Whodunnit? - "Party Crasher": The next time you embarrass yourself – no matter on what scale and who you're in front of – just remember that you never went on national TV and speculated that a murderer was aided by a trained monkey. Man, if I were Ronnie's family, I would never stop teasing him about that. I would buy him stuff with monkeys on it all the time. Rating: 4 beads painted with glow-in-the-dark paint
So You Think You Can Dance - Top 12 perform and two go home: It's funny that I was rooting for Malece at the beginning of the season, but I was actually relieved when she was cut, because it meant Amy was safe. Sorry, Malece. Nothing personal. Rating: 4 literal squeals from me upon seeing Alex Wong (I need help)
America's Next Top Model - "The Girl Who Gets Married Again": I want to dislike Don because of his "I like attention and money and women" thing from last week, but he's really good. I liked how happy he looked in some of the gay-marriage shots, and how relaxed he was about the whole thing. It's probably for nothing, though. At this rate, they should just give Marvin the win right now. Rating: 3 mugs of wine (dude, at least get a real wine glass, Mike)
August 17th, 2013, 1:13 p.m. - Queen of the blerds
38. Self-Inflicted Wounds (Aisha Tyler)
Up next: Night Film (Marisha Pessl)
August 18th, 2013, 1:22 p.m. - As a friend of mine suggested, maybe the monkey co-conspirator tied Giles up?
Whodunnit? - "Frost Nixin": Look at the big-girl pants on Melina! I especially appreciated her not budging after the others asked her which location she wanted, then whined at the one she picked. Then why did you ask her?? Anyway, I still have no idea who the killer is, but whatever. This was a fun show. Rating: 4 obviously CGI'd ping pong balls
So You Think You Can Dance - Top 10 perform and two go home: Yay, Debbie Allen! You help make up for the season of lackluster guest judges. This episode was full of terrific performances with only one or two that didn't impress me. The rest of the cuts this season are going to be painful. Rating: 5 times I shook my head over the lizard routine
America's Next Top Model - "The Guy Who Gets a Weave": I'm sorry, Phil's hair makes him look like Ashton Kutcher in his trucker hat days. Some of Tyra's delusions should not be supported. Rating: 4 whips, which Alessandra looked a little too comfortable using
August 24th, 2013, 12:36 p.m. - Is Aaron the only dancer who hasn't been in the bottom? Sweet
Whodunnit? - "Golden Cuffs": So Lindsey knew the whole season that Cris was the killer, but she still didn't win? What kind of bull is that? Yeah, yeah, enjoy your money, Kam. You still screwed up a task involving a contract, so I hope you have fun convincing people that you're still a good lawyer. Rating: 3 arrows in the throat (eck)
So You Think You Can Dance - Top eight perform and two go home: This episode showed us once again that the people who compete on this show are ridiculously talented. I hope they use more past contestants as choreographers. Though I like a lot of the regular choreographers, too, so I'm good either way. Rating: 5 times I was impressed that Jenna Elfman was one of the better celebrity judges this season
America's Next Top Model - "The Girl Who Went Around in Circles": Someone please teach Nina how to style her hair. Thanks. Rating: 3 trailers
August 30th, 2013, 5:07 p.m. - TURN OFF YOUR ITALICS. I MEAN NOW
39. Night Film (Marisha Pessl)
Up next: The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao (Junot Diaz)
August 31st, 2013, 12:11 p.m. - Guys, please keep your tongues to yourselves
So You Think You Can Dance - Top six perform and two go home: This is exactly the final four I wanted. Yay, America! Somehow, you always make things right in the end. Rating: 4 accidental drops (poor Aaron)
America's Next Top Model - "The Guy Who Gets to Kiss the Girl": Yes, Jourdan. Everyone hates you because they're jealous. It has nothing to do with the fact that you got three times as long on the phone as they did. I really want to like you, but you make it so freaking difficult. Rating: 5 very pretty drag queens the guys made
I started out really liking Life After Life, but then it got bogged down in unnecessary scenes. Chapters about World War II should not be so boring! And the ending felt tacked-on, especially considering it was foreshadowed 500 pages earlier.
I've always liked Aisha Tyler. Then when she started hosting Whose Line is It Anyway? I started liking her more. Now that I've read her book, I love her. LOVE HER.
Every review I've read of this book is accurate. It's both wonderful and tedious, both fascinating and irritating. I think it was Ron Charles from The Washington Post who calls it "brilliant" and "bloated," which is spot-on. I wanted to race through it, and then when I got to the last 150 pages or so, I just wanted it to be over.