December, 2008
December 4th, 2008, 8:51 p.m. - Sometimes I'm part of the 21st century. Sometimes I just want to ride a penny-farthing
I started Twittering. (I think if you say that in an ER, they give you anti-seizure medication.)
11:03 p.m. - "A writer needs to keep [his] fans happy"
56. Your Heart Belongs to Me (Dean Koontz)
Up next: The Bodies Left Behind (Jeffery Deaver)
December 5th, 2008, 8:04 p.m. - "It's not my fault you don't speak German!"
The Amazing Race: - "You're Gonna Get Me Killed": I'm so disappointed that Toni and Dallas didn't make it to the final three. That would leave me with the same feeling as last season - I wouldn't mind any of the remaining teams winning. Now I'm basically just rooting against Dan and Andrew. I'd like to see it go to Nick and Starr, but Ken and Tina winning would be a nice end to their story arc. Seriously, though, anyone but Dan and Andrew. Rating: 3 passports
House - "Let Them Eat Cake": Wow, there were, like, four plots going on at the same time. Two of them (the main patient and Hadley, of course) were boring, but I liked the other two, House messing with Cuddy's office renovations and Kutner and Taub getting tricked. When their "patient" started singing, I figured it was a scam, but that made it even better. They should know that House is smarter than everyone else. Rating: 3 pieces of chocolate cake
Top Chef - "Today Show: Rocco DiSpirito": I don't like Jeff that much (and honestly, I'm not really sure why), but I wasn't as satisfied as some people were at seeing Kathie Lee Gifford spit out his food on live TV. I thought that was really rude of her. It was different from Tom spitting out the spicy shrimp; there didn't seem to be an explanation. Of course, I don't like Kathie Lee either. I can't believe Ariane has redeemed herself - very impressive. I also can't believe Alex was dumb enough to think that doing something mediocre would get by the judges. Did he forget the name of the show? Rating: 3 undercooked duck eggs
Survivor - "The Good Things in Life Aren't Easy": So, so satisfying. Bob reuniting with his wife was really sweet, and I loved getting to see the nicer side of Matty. Oh, and CORINNE GOT PWNED. HOW DOES IT TASTE, YOU HATEFUL BRAT? Rating: 5 bitter last words from THE HATEFUL BRAT WHO GOT PWNED
The Office - "The Surplus": The best episode in a while. I thought the whole thing was great. I knew going in what was going to happen with Dwight and Angela, but I still loved it. And Jenna Fischer was at the top of her game the entire time. Rating: 5 chairs
Grey's Anatomy - "All By Myself": Seeing Cristina actually blissfully happy in almost a childlike manner was really strange. It suits her well. Also strange was Lexie stripping for a guy who's kind of her boss. These people really have no self-control, do they? Maybe Callie can find some and stay away from Sadie, since she can do so much better. Rating: 4 steam vents
December 7th, 2008, 10:14 p.m. - Last season it was the salmon hooker, this season it's a green dinosaur. Next season just send them to a museum
"Donuts, Dinosaurs, and a Million Dollars"
December 11th, 2008, 9:36 p.m. - No, why are you letting Sugar do the thinking??
The Amazing Race: - "You Look Like Peter Pan": I love a satisfying ending. Nick and Starr definitely earned that win - they ran a near-flawless race and were two of the smartest racers this season. It doesn't hurt that they were hardly ever annoying, too. It's nice to have winners who not only raced well but who don't make you sorry that they won. And I can't lie - it wasn't too bad seeing Dan and Andrew fall so far behind. Rating: 4 green dinosaurs
How I Met Your Mother - "The Fight": Awww, Marshall. He's so great. He and Barney stole the episode. Actually, wait, I take that back: the kids stole the episode. They were awesome. Rating: 4 light sabers
House - "Joy to the World": They should have given this episode a different title, since it tipped me off that either Cuddy would get the original Joy back or would get a new Joy. (Okay, that sounds really weird.) That plus the treacly endings knock off an entire point for me. Otherwise it would have been a terrific episode. I love how Taub has become almost like a second Wilson. But really, Foreman and Hadley? Is anyone seeing chemistry there? Yeah didn't think so. Rating: 4 books
Top Chef - "Gail's Bridal Shower": Appropriately enough for this week's theme, Jamie is once again always a bridesmaid, never a bride. And it's getting annoying. I mean, I understand wanting to win, but seriously, calm down. It's just coming off as desperate. Speaking of desperate, I think Stefan is. Desperate for me to smack him over the head, that is. Okay, that was lame, but he's lame, too, so it fits. Shut up. I'm tired. Rating: 3 mushrooms
Survivor - "The Good Guys Should Win in the End": Matty needs to stop talking about good and bad. He's starting to sound like Corinne talking about who deserves to stay in the game. You don't deserve anything! You have to earn it! No one's going to hand you a million dollars! Also, stop complaining about people writing down your name. To win, you have to write down other people's names. Unless you expect Kenny to just let you win, he's going to have to write down your name. It doesn't matter anyway - these people are all idiots to keep Bob around. There's no way any of them can beat him in front of the jury. HE has earned a million dollars. Get it together, everyone else. And stop making plans that depend on Sugar! Rating: 3 REAL immunity idols
The Office - "Moroccan Christmas": Most depressing Christmas episode of a comedy ever? Couldn't we at least have ended on a joke? Between the alcoholism and the adultery revelation and Toby being Toby, there wasn't much comfort and joy going on there. Poor Toby. Someday you'll get to kick that football. Rating: 4 masks
December 13th, 11:06 p.m. - Jeffery Deaver, why do you do that, Jeffery Deaver? Seriously, Jeffery Deaver
57. The Bodies Left Behind (Jeffery Deaver)
Up next: Wishful Drinking (Carrie Fisher)
December 14th, 2008, 11:27 p.m. - I helped...and not just by staying out of the way
"If I Help You, You Stab Me in the Back"
December 17th, 6:19 p.m. - Just one question
58. Wishful Drinking (Carrie Fisher)
Up next: The Story of Edgar Sawtelle (David Wroblewski)
December 18th, 2008, 5:42 p.m. - I wonder how much they had to pay Martha for ten minutes of screentime
Survivor - "Say Goodbye to Gabon": Eh. I guess I'm satisfied with the ending. Better Bob winning than Susie, who basically did nothing all season, or Sugar, who, though she did use some strategy, totally shot herself in the foot when she didn't vote Bob out, then admitted after the show that she was only there for publicity. At first I was actually happy with Bob winning, but now I'm just neutral. The whole season was pretty bleh. Rating: 4 more boos for the hateful Corinne
How I Met Your Mother - "Little Minnesota": The plot with Ted's sister bored me to tears, but I loved Marshall and Robin's plot. I especially loved the ending, with Marshall singing "Let's Go to the Mall." The only thing better would have been Barney singing it. Rating: 3 donuts
Top Chef - "12 Days of Christmas: Martha Stewart": So let me get this straight: on an episode where the judges admitted that everyone pretty much sucked, no one got sent home. Does that make sense? Yeah, Christmas, blah, but come on. Also, why did they do the 12 Days of Christmas theme with 11 chefs? They should have at least had someone else do the extra day. This was just distracting. Anyway, whatever, no one went home, I was bored, and can we stop with the long episodes? Thanks. Rating: 3 French hens, of course
December 24th, 2008, 3:36 p.m. - The year in books
I don't see myself finishing The Story of Edgar Sawtelle before the end of the month (if I did, I'd put in on the list below under "books that most lived up to their hype), so here's my annual year-end book...thing. (I ran out of words. Merry Christmas!)
I have no idea how I managed to read so many books this year (especially consider one of them was The Stand. I was kind of unofficially pushing for 50, knowing that that meant I would have to average about a book a week, which I didn't think was possible. I guess I'll have to aim for 60 for 2009.
1. Punching In (Alex Frankel)
The best: Suzanne Strempek Shea's Sundays in America, Tana French's The Likeness, Rick Lax's Lawyer Boy, Nancy Collins' The Hunger Games
The worst: Martha Frankel's Hats and Eyeglasses, Laura Lippman's Another Thing to Fall
Book that Entertainment Weekly named one of the ten best that I disagreed with the most: For the first time I can remember, I didn't read any all the way through that I disagree with. The closest I came was David Carr's The Night of the Gun, since I just couldn't stick with it. I'll try to do better next year.
Best returns to form: Stephen King's Duma Key, Harlan Coben's Hold Tight
Books that most lived up to their hype: Richard Russo's Empire Falls, Anita Shreve's Testimony
Book that least lived up to its hype: Stephen King's The Stand
Book I was looking forward to that didn't disappoint: David Sedaris' When You Are Engulfed In Flames
Books I was looking forward to that really disappointed: Kate Atkinson's When Will There Be Good News?, Wally Lamb's The Hour I First Believed
Good book, good title: Carrie Fisher's Wishful Drinking
Good book, bad title: Laura Lippman's In Big Trouble, Jodi Picoult's Change of Heart
Bad book, good title: Martha Frankel's Hats and Eyeglasses, Laura Lippman's Another Thing to Fall, Jennifer Traig's Well Enough Alone
Bad book, bad title: Kate Atkinson's When Will There Be Good News?
Books I'm most looking forward to in 2009: Jodi Picoult's Handle With Care, Lisa Lutz's Revenge of the Spellmans, Dean Koontz's The Other Side of the Woods
Kind of uneven, but overall a good, fast read. I'd really like to read Violet's backstory. (Please, please do it, Koontz.)
Other than the 60-page denouement, the unnecessary repetition of everyone's full name, and the completely unsatisfying ending, that wasn't bad.
Why was this so darn short??
2. The Stand (Stephen King)
3. Empire Falls (Richard Russo)
4. Intern (Sandeep Jauhar)
5. American Band (Kristen Laine)
6. Hats and Eyeglasses (Martha Frankel)
7. gods in Alabama (Joshilyn Jackson)
8. Change of Heart (Jodi Picoult)
9. Between, Georgia (Joshilyn Jackson)
10. Curse of the Spellmans (Lisa Lutz)
11. Obedience (Will Lavender)
12. Duma Key (Stephen King)
13. The Girl Who Stopped Swimming (Joshilyn Jackson)
14. Wasted (Marya Hornbacher)
15. Hold Tight (Harlan Coben)
16. The Fortune Cookie Chronicles (Jennifer 8. Lee)
17. Sundays in America (Suzanne Strempek Shea)
18. Her Last Death (Susanna Sonnenberg)
19. Everybody Into the Pool (Beth Lisick)
20. Baltimore Blues (Laura Lippman)
21. Charm City (Laura Lippman)
22. Butchers Hill (Laura Lippman)
23. In Big Trouble (Laura Lippman)
24. The Sugar House (Laura Lippman)
25. In a Strange City (Laura Lippman)
26. Every Secret Thing (Laura Lippman)
27. When You Are Engulfed In Flames (David Sedaris)
28. The Last Place (Laura Lippman)
29. By a Spider's Thread (Laura Lippman)
30. No Good Deeds (Laura Lippman)
31. What the Dead Know (Laura Lippman)
32. Another Thing to Fall (Laura Lippman)
33. To the Power of Three (Laura Lippman)
34. In the Woods (Tana French)
35. Case Histories (Kate Atkinson)
36. One Good Turn (Kate Atkinson)
37. The Likeness (Tana French)
38. What Was Lost (Catherine O’Flynn)
39. Fractured (Karin Slaughter)
40. Moose (Stephanie Klein)
41. Lawyer Boy (Rick Lax)
42. Chalked Up (Jennifer Sey)
43. Devil in the Details (Jennifer Traig)
44. Well Enough Alone (Jennifer Traig)
45. You Want Fries With That? (Prioleau Alexander)
46. Beautiful Boy (David Sheff)
47. When Will There Be Good News? (Kate Atkinson)
48. The Hunger Games (Nancy Collins)
49. The Year of Fog (Michelle Richmond)
50. Hardly Knew Her (Laura Lippman)
51. Trespassers Will Be Baptized (Elizabeth Emerson Hancock)
52. Testimony (Anita Shreve)
53. Reading the OED (Ammon Shea)
54. The Hour I First Believed (Wally Lamb)
55. Just After Sunset (Stephen King)
56. Your Heart Belongs to Me (Dean Koontz)
57. The Bodies Left Behind (Jeffery Deaver)
58. Wishful Drinking (Carrie Fisher)