December, 2009
December 1st, 2009, 11:12 p.m. - When did Mollee become kind of awesome?
December 2nd, 2009, 10:11 p.m. - You go away, too, Tyce (but you're not awesome)
"Yes, You're Awesome; Now Leave"
December 5th, 2009, 4:38 p.m. - "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! They're lithium!"
The Amazing Race - "It Starts With an F, That's All I'm Saying": I can't believe the Globetrotters threw the race away like that. Why would you sit around for four hours while three other teams finish the tasks? We all did the math and we all know that Nate could have figured out the answer. He gave up. I don't care how he wants to spin it, he gave up. And now I really don't care who wins. Rating: 3 glasses of beer
Desperate Housewives - "Would I Think of Suicide?": Dang, Katherine is scary and twisted. I hope Dana Delany's enjoying herself, because this is probably the most interesting role she's ever had. Speaking of twisted, remember when Carlos used to be a jerk? You do now. Rating: 4 pills taken by Danny
House - "Wilson": Yay for a new storytelling method! It was kind of fun to see House's typical weekly storyline playing out in the background while Wilson got all the attention. And he proved - twice! - that having a personal connection with a patient can actually be beneficial. Rating: 4 cheers for minimal Thirteen
So You Think You Can Dance - Top ten perform and two go home: Dear Sonya, please never leave us. You can be the new Mia. Rating: 4 folders containing sexual-harassment-lawsuit paperwork
Glee - "Mattress": I wish the previews hadn't mentioned that Will and Terri's marriage was going to face a major challenge, because it would have been a lot more effective to have his discovery of her fake pregnancy be a surprise to the audience. Still, the scene where he confronted her was perfectly acted and very satisfying. So, uh, we're done with her now, right? Oh, and as completely unrealistic as that mattress-commercial musical number was (yeah, I bet they came up with all of that on the spot), it was pretty awesome. The tumbling alone was amazing. Rating: 4 tell-tale baby pillows
Top Chef - "Season Finale, Part 1": I was really sad to see Jennifer go, and even though I let myself think for a few minutes that Michael might be the one not to make it to the final three, since his feedback in this episode was slightly more negative than the other chefs', I can't say I'm surprised. She just hasn't been as consistent as the other three have. And as much as I tend to dislike Michael, I think this season's top three is the best we've ever seen. Usually I feel like there's at least one chef who doesn't deserve to be there, but not this time. And of all three of the final chefs, I think Kevin has earned the title the most. He has barely had a wrong step all season. Rating: 5 grapes
Survivor - "Off With Their Heads!": So let me see if I can predict how the rest of the season will go: Someone picks a target. That someone gets his/her allies to agree to vote off that target. Russell picks a target. Everyone decides to vote off that target. I yell, "Baaaaa!" at my TV. Lather, rinse, repeat. Rating: 3 jokes I thought of making about John not being a very good rocket scientist before I decided I didn't care enough to put forth the effort
The Office - "Scott's Tots": Not a terrific episode, but there were some great moments. My favorites: Michael actually doing well with his speech before coming clean to the teens; Andy asking if Pam doubling her sales meant going from two to four, and her unabashedly interviewing, "Yep"; Erin and Michael connecting for the first time; Dwight once again having his hopes dashed by Jim; and Ryan telling Dwight he wants in on his plans. I foresee awesomeness. Rating: 4 laptop batteries
December 6th, 2009, 10:13 p.m. - I don't know why they kept using the song "Waking Up in Vegas" since no one actually woke up there
December 8th, 2009, 10:40 p.m. - Russell is the best Santa ever
"So They Think You Can't Dance"
December 9th, 2009, 11:18 p.m. - It's Opposite Day
"You Never Know a Good Thing Until It's Gone"
December 13th, 2009, 5:35 p.m. - The curtains close on a kiss, God knows...
The Amazing Race - "Amazing Grace, How Sweet the Sound!": Meghan and Cheyne won. No one's surprised. Rating: 3 poker chips
Desperate Housewives - "Boom Crunch": I have to say, I like the conflict that the Lynette/Gaby situation brings to the table. (Of course, I'm sure it'll all be resolved now that Lynette has saved Celia's life, but it was nice while it lasted.) I also like the twist presented when Dylan returned, that Katherine told her she'd married Mike and that Susan had attacked her. They can explore a lot with that plotline, and Dana Delany is definitely the right person to tackle it. I have to admit, I'm a sucker for a ratings grab (most of the time), so I really liked this episode. I especially liked that Karl was the reason for the plane being there, and that we weren't told about that until later in the episode. Nice storytelling. Rating: 5 proposal banners
How I Met Your Mother - "The Window": Joanna Garcia was really good as Maggie. I almost wish she were the mother, since I think she fit in with the gang really well. The mixture of the comedy and drama (Marshall wanting to fulfill his younger self's dreams) was really interesting. I like that they did that, since it showed us another side of the character and let Jason Segel and Alyson Hannigan do a different kind of acting, but it needs to be used sparingly. Rating: 4 pictures of bridges
So You Think You Can Dance - Top eight perform and two go home: Mollee went over Ashleigh? Who didn't dance? What the heck? Rating: 3 vote-seeking crying jags from Ryan
Glee - "Sectionals": This was one of those episodes that wasn't completely perfect but had its weaknesses overshadowed by its strengths. I really loved the last few minutes, where you think the season will end with Emma leaving, but then there's Will running down the hall to catch her. Very, very satisfying. They're setting things up for the rest of the season very nicely. Rating: 5 times Finn should probably punch Puck in the face
Top Chef - "Season Finale, Part 2": Kevin should've won. He was the most consistent of all the chefs throughout the season. Michael is annoying, egotistical, and pretty much no one's first pick to win. Bleh. How disappointing. Rating: 3 desserts with bacon in them
Survivor - "Damage Control": Didn't I say it last week? Everyone picks a target, then Russell picks a target, and that's the person who goes home. Sigh. Rating: 3 bowling balls
The Office - "Secret Santa": Phyllis made a great Santa. I hope they let her do it again next year. And is it weird that I think Andy's sweet? That seems like it should be weird. At least Erin likes him. Rating: 4 calling birds
December 15th, 2009, 10:19 p.m. - Russell FTW. Or maybe Kathryn
December 17th, 2009, 7:23 p.m. - This totally makes sense, since this was the season of injured dancers still doing well
10:35 p.m. - No, J. Lo, it's not all about you and your giant shoe
How I Met Your Mother - "Last Cigarette Ever": My least favorite episode ever. Why retcon that the characters all smoke just so you can have them quit? Lame. I can't even think of one memorable moment. Rating: 2 cigarettes
So You Think You Can Dance - Top six perform and a winner is crowned: Yay, Russell! I'm happy that once again the person I backed from early on in the competition won. This season had a lot of inconsistencies, and I think it was a bad idea to air it right after the summer season, but I can't be too disappointed. The level of talent displayed is so amazing that it's hard to be upset about much. Rating: 4 gigantic shoes
Survivor - "Two Brains Are Better Than One": Man, this season has been lame. I can't imagine sitting through the whole Sunday-night fiasco. Let's just give the money to Natalie for being the least objectionable. Well, actually, Mick is probably the least objectionable, but he never actually did anything, so he doesn't get any money. And honestly, two weeks ago, I couldn't have picked Brett out of a lineup. How the heck did he make the final five? Rating: 3 coconuts
5:09 p.m. - 1,072 pages and no filler? Not as impossible as you would think
42. Under the Dome (Stephen King)
Up next: Breathless (Dean Koontz)
December 20th, 2009, 10:18 p.m. - I wish Santa would bring ME a million dollars
December 25th, 2009, 4:15 p.m. - Merry Christmas! Santa let me read a book
43. Breathless (Dean Koontz)
Up next: The Tipping Point (Malcolm Gladwell)
December 30th, 2009, 2:43 p.m. - Another year in books
Once again, the list of books I read this year, and some thoughts. I read 58 in 2008, but only managed 43 this year. Part of that is because Under the Dome took so long and part of it's because I spent the summer reading Infinite Jest; I was reading other things at the same time, but you can only spend so much time reading, you know? (Unfortunately.)
1. The Story of Edgar Sawtelle (David Wroblewski)
The best: David Wroblewski's The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, Chris Cleave's Little Bee, Kevin Roose's The Unlikely Disciple, Dave Cullen's Columbine, Lev Grossman's The Magicians, Suzanne Collins' Catching Fire, A.J. Jacobs' The Guinea Pig Diaires, Dan Chaon's Await Your Reply, Josh Lieb's I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President, Stephen King's Under the Done
The worst: Linda Castillo's Sworn to Silence, Nicola Keegan's Swimming
Book that Entertainment Weekly named one of the ten best that I disagreed with the most: Jonathan Tropper's This is Where I Leave You (yes, I liked it, but there are a dozen others that should be on that list in its place)
Best return to form: Jeffery Deaver's Roadside Crosses
Books that most lived up to their hype: David Wroblewski's The Story of Edgar Sawtelle
Books that least lived up to their hype: Reif Larsen's The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet, Chris Adrian's The Children's Hospital
Book I was looking forward to that didn't disappoint: Kevin Roose's The Unlikely Disciple, Karin Slaughter's Undone, Dave Cullen's Columbine
Book I was looking forward to that really disappointed: Kyria Abrahams' I'm Perfect, You're Doomed, Audrey Niffenegger's Her Fearful Symmetry
Good book, good title: Alan Bradley's The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, Jonathan Tropper's This is Where I Leave You, Josh Lieb's I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President
Good book, bad title: Hallie Ephron's Never Tell a Lie
Bad book, good title: Kyria Abrahams' I'm Perfect, You're Doomed
Bad book, bad title: Linda Castillo's Sworn to Silence
Books I'm most looking forward to in 2010: Robyn Okrant's Living Oprah, Lisa Lutz's The Spellmans Strike Again, whatever Suzanne Collins' next book is
The hype is true: Under the Dome is excellent. The fact that it's 1,072 pages is daunting, but there really isn't a wasted page. With so many characters, the pages are necessary to tell all the stories. And even with dozens of characters, King has a way of making them different enough to easily tell them apart without making you feel like there are too many people involved. I believe King may have written his most villainous character yet in this book - and he's completely human, which makes him even scarier.
Very weird, but good. Koontz's characters are always interesting. I'd love another story featuring the paranoid assassin or the chaos-theory expert.
2. Trailer Trashed (Hollis Gillespie)
3. Never Tell a Lie (Hallie Ephron)
4. Good People (Marcus Sakey)
5. The Little Giant of Aberdeen County (Tiffany Baker)
6. Little Bee (Chris Cleave)
7. Handle With Care (Jodi Picoult)
8. Life Sentences (Laura Lippman)
9. The Unlikely Disciple (Kevin Roose)
10. Revenge of the Spellmans (Lisa Lutz)
11. I'm Perfect, You're Doomed (Kyria Abrahams)
12. Beat the Reaper (Josh Bazell)
13. Good Book (David Plotz)
14. Security (Stephen Amidon)
15. City of Thieves (David Benioff)
16. The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie (Alan Bradley)
17. The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet (Reif Larsen)
18. Lisey's Story (Stephen King)
19. Dark Places (Gillian Flynn)
20. I'm Down (Mishna Wolff)
21. Roadside Crosses (Jeffery Deaver)
22. The Last Child (John Hart)
23. Beautiful Lies (Lisa Unger)
24. Relentless (Dean Koontz)
25. The Abortionist's Daughter (Elisabeth Hyde)
26. Undone (Karin Slaughter)
27. Columbine (Dave Cullen)
28. The Children's Hospital (Chris Adrian)
29. The Magicians (Lev Grossman)
30. This is Where I Leave You (Jonathan Tropper)
31. Catching Fire (Suzanne Collins)
32. Sworn to Silence (Linda Castillo)
33. Infinite Jest (David Foster Wallace)
34. The Guinea Pig Diaries (A.J. Jacobs)
35. The Last Bridge (Teri Coyne)
36. Her Fearful Symmetry (Audrey Niffenegger)
37. Swimming (Nicola Keegan)
38. In the Heart of the Canyon (Elisabeth Hyde)
39. Ravens (George Dawes Green)
40. Await Your Reply (Dan Chaon)
41. I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President (Josh Lieb)
42. Under the Dome (Stephen King)
43. Breathless (Dean Koontz)