December, 2015
December 2nd, 2015, 10:26 p.m. - Fun story: I bought this accidentally
41. It Was Me All Along (Andie Mitchell)
Up next: The Man Who Ate Everything (Jeffrey Steingarten)
December 5th, 2015, 2:54 p.m. - "I don't appreciate the smirking." "I hear you, Mitchell, and I will try to smirk when you're not looking"
Homeland – "The Litvinov Ruse": I was very surprised to see Allison survive the episode. I thought Ivan was only taking her inside to kill her. I have to say, her attempt to look innocent is pretty clever. Probably won't work, though. Rating: 3 shots of atropine
Scream Queens – "Black Friday": I'm actually glad this is a short season, because I'm not sure how much longer I would be able to put up with it. It's really fallen apart. Here's hoping for a good ending. Rating: 3 arrows
Supernatural – "Just My Imagination": Pretty much the perfect mix of humor and seriousness. Also perfect: the casting of Nate Torrence. I'd welcome a return for Sully. Rating: 5 pairs of rainbow suspenders
Modern Family – "Clean Out Your Junk Drawer": Even with Catherine O'Hara, this episode was disappointing. We've gone to the Jay-is-emotionally-distant well way too many times. But I thoroughly enjoyed Mitch melting down and trying to hide in the curtains. Rating: 3 lists of things you don't like about your partner
Top Chef – "Stop the Presses"; "Pop Up Pandemonium": After taking off a season, I decided to go back to this show. I only wish I'd known how annoying Grayson would be. SHUT UP, GRAYSON. Rating: 4 unimpressive meatballs
America's Next Top Model – "Finale, Part 2: America's Next Top Model Is...": I will really miss this show (...shut up), but yay for a great finale! Nyle is the best! Rating: 4 giant feather bodice thingies
December 13th, 2015, 4:14 p.m. - "I'm not crazy! I don't have to take a pigeon as my bride!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "The Swedes": I like Jake and Rosa working together. Though really, I like Rosa working with anyone. Rosa is awesome. Rating: 3 diamonds
Homeland – "New Normal": No way would they let Quinn live. NO WAY. And shouldn't Allison be on, like, suspension or something, pending investigation of her possible TREASON? Rating: 3 flashlights used to discover that someone's not dead
Scream Queens – "Dorkus"; "The Final Girl(s)": The first episode was bleh, but I really liked the second. The show needs a lot of work before it does a second season, but overall it was entertaining. I'll take a spin-off with Chad and Denise, too, please. Rating: 4 eyepatches
Supernatural – "O Brother Where Art Thou?": Supernatural may be the only fandom that welcomes the return of Lucifer. At least I hope it is. P.S. Where's Adam? Rating: 4 failed protection spells
Modern Family – "White Christmas": Phil looked like the Ikea monkey in that coat. That is all. Rating: 3 tricycles
The Big Bang Theory – "The Earworm Reverberation": Yay, Dave came back! Can we stay? I'll trade both Howard and Stuart for him. Rating: 4 likes from Howard and Raj's one fan
Top Chef – "Spines and Vines": Great twist with the supposed partners having to compete against each other. Too bad Frances didn't benefit. I really liked her. Rating: 4 missing pieces of fish
December 18th, 2015, 7:38 p.m. - I will go back for a second helping
42. The Man Who Ate Everything (Jeffrey Steingarten)
Up next: The Beautiful Bureaucrat (Helen Phillips)
December 19th, 2015, 2:27 p.m. - "You tell him that I'm Liam Neeson and he's my hot, dumb daughter"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "Yippie Kayak": I guess I should watch Die Hard? Rating: 4 bottles of cologne
Homeland – "Our Man in Damascus": I was knitting while I watched this episode, so I didn't have 100 percent of my attention on it, and when Allison reported that she'd been shot, I was a little confused. Then I realized what was going on, and that she's crazier than I thought. Time for you to go out with a bang, Allison. I don't have high hopes of her surviving the finale. (Here's hoping Quinn fares better.) Rating: 4 malfunctioning detonators
The Big Bang Theory – "The Opening Night Excitation": Very clever, with the back-and-forth of the guys in the movie theater and Sheldon and Amy...you know. Extra love for Wil Wheaton yelling, "Live long and suck it!" Rating: 4 movie tickets
Top Chef – "It's a Dry Heat": I'm torn. On the one hand, Angelina's been in the bottom three times and needs to be eliminated. On the other hand, now we don't have to put up with Grayson anymore. I'll just call it an early Christmas present either way. Rating: 3 broken solar ovens
December 23rd, 2015, 7:50 p.m. - From Z to A
43. The Beautiful Bureaucrat (Helen Phillips)
Up next: Finders Keepers (Stephen King)
December 27th, 2015, 12:10 p.m. - R.I.P.P., Peter Quinn (the second P is for "probably")
Homeland – "A False Glimmer": Mostly a solid finale, but there were some letdowns. The good: Allison dying in a trunk in a hail of bullets. Laura being discredited. Astrid getting one last chance to be awesome. The letdowns: Laura not dying in a trunk in a hail of bullets. Not enough Numan all season. The rest of the terrorist plot was wrapped up off screen. And, of course, Quinn's probable death. The poor guy almost died in, like, six of the season's 12 episodes. He deserved better. Rating: 4 German children's books
December 31st, 2015, 12:09 p.m. - Annual year-end book roundup, with a surprise on my list of faves
I just edged out last year's total of 41. And that includes City on Fire, which was almost 1,000 pages. Plus lots of reading time lost to binge-watching (Teen Wolf, I heart you now). I surprised myself by adoring The Library at Mount Char; I hardly ever read fantasy books, but this one was amazing. Still thinking about it months later.
Here's what I read and learned in 2015:
1. There are a ton of Conan the Barbarian books. (Wolf in White Van, John Darnielle) – California
The worst: The Girl on the Train
Book that Entertainment Weekly named one of the ten best that I disagreed with the most: none, fortunately
Favorite characters: Kick Lannigan (One Kick), John Bishop (One Kick), Steve Hodgson (The Library at Mount Char)
Least favorite characters: Lacey Porter (The Royal We)
Book that most lived up to its hype: The Beautiful Bureaucrat
Book that least lived up to its hype: The Girl on the Train
Book I was looking forward to that didn't disappoint: Furiously Happy
Book I was looking forward to that did disappoint: The Fixer
Good book, good title: The Royal We
Good book, bad title: The Beautiful Bureaucrat
Bad book, good title: No One Else Can Have You
Bad book, bad title: The Girl on the Train
Books I'm most looking forward to in 2016: Joe Hill's The Fireman (which was also on last year's list, because Hill's publisher is mean), Allie Brosh's Solutions and Other Problems, Lisa Lutz's The Passenger
Mitchell's story is both heartbreaking and hopeful. It's mostly about her struggles with eating disorders, but it's also about loneliness and self-respect and taking control when your life has gone out of control. Mitchell has a great voice, and I can see why this book got such good reviews.
Mostly terrific, but a little too much all at once. I'll read the sequel, but probably in pieces.
Here we have a last-minute contender for my favorite book of the year. I will need to read a version that details Joseph's job, if you would be so kind, thank you very much, Ms. Phillips.
2. Moose can run up to 35 miles per hour. (No One Else Can Have You, Kathleen Hale) – Wisconsin
3. Most houses in San Diego don't have basements. (One Kick, Chelsea Cain) – Oregon, Washington, California
4. In England, you can buy gin and tonics in cans. (The Girl on the Train, Paula Hawkins) – England
5. Jan-Erik Olsson, one of the robbers behind the crime that originated the idea of Stockholm Syndrome, served fewer than ten years in prison. (Heartsick, Chelsea Cain) – Oregon
6. Oregon outlawed self-service gas stations in the 1940s. (Sweetheart, Chelsea Cain) – Oregon
7. Harry Fox created the foxtrot (allegedly) because he was annoyed that his dancing partners couldn't master the two-step. (When We Were on Fire, Addie Zierman) – U.S., Dominican Republic, China
8. I learned how to make fake jewelry, so that could come in handy. (Unbecoming, Rebecca Scherm) – U.S., France, Czech Republic, Germany, Belgium
9. Humans and koalas have similar fingerprints. (Evil at Heart, Chelsea Cain) – Oregon
10. After Hurricane Katrina, Baton Rouge's population temporarily doubled. (My Sunshine Away, M.O. Walsh) – Louisiana
11. After schools in Little Rock were integrated in 1957, Governor Orval Faubus closed all the high schools for a year to prevent African-Americans from getting an education. (The Sellout, Paul Beatty) – California, D.C.
12. When British Summer Time transitions to Greenwich Mean Time, students at Merton College participate in the Time Ceremony, walking backwards and drinking port while wearing formal clothes. (The Royal We, Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan) – England, Switzerland, U.S., France
13. Nikola Tesla and Hans Christian Andersen probably had OCD. (The Man Who Couldn't Stop, David Adam) – England
14. Kids at summer camp really like llamas. (The Interestings, Meg Wolitzer) – U.S., Iceland, Italy, Indonesia
15. Bassoons use double reeds. (Bellweather Rhapsody, Kate Racculia) – New York
16. Wool is naturally flame resistant. (How to Start a Fire, Lisa Lutz) – U.S.
17. In Japan, ghosts don't have feet. (The Three, Sarah Lotz) – Japan, England, South Africa, U.S.
18. Try very hard not to get herpes, because you can end up with brain damage. (The Tale of the Dueling Neurosurgeons, Sam Kean) – France, U.S., Papua New Guinea, Canada, Japan, Siam, Russia
19. Next time you think to yourself, "Hey, it might be nice to take a cruise," tell yourself to shut up. (Day Four, Sarah Lotz) – Gulf of Mexico, U.S.
20. There are more than a million Jennifers in the world. (Dietland, Sarai Walker) – New York, California
21. There is a Jewish funeral tradition of wearing a torn black ribbon to signify loss and grief. (The Fixer, Joseph Finder) – Massachusetts
22. If you have a medical emergency at Old Faithful, you may end up hospitalized in Idaho. (Lights and Sirens, Kevin Grange) – California, Wyoming
23. Nursing is the third most dangerous profession. (The Nurses, Alexandra Robbins) – U.S.
24. You can remove calcium carbonate stains from your toilet by scrubbing it with a brick. (Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, John Berendt) – Georgia
25. If the sun dimmed, we'd all be screwed. (The Library at Mount Char, Scott Hawkins) – Virginia, U.S., Oregon, some other universe
26. A group of raccoons is called a gaze or a nursery. (I Regret Nothing, Jen Lancaster) – U.S., Italy
27. The star BPM 37093 is a billion-trillion-trillion-carat diamond. (Delicious Foods, James Hannaham) – Louisiana, Minnesota, Texas
28. Some éclairs are also known as long johns. (The Jesus Cow, Michael Perry) – Wisconsin
29. Don't overdose on paracetamol. (In a Dark, Dark Wood, Ruth Ware) – England
30. Midwives can write prescriptions. (The Last Policeman, Ben H. Winters) – New Hampshire, Massachusetts
31. The Navajo Nation has its own representative speaker. (Lock In, John Scalzi) – D.C., Virginia, Arizona, California
32. Hamsters only blink one eye at a time. (Furiously Happy, Jenny Lawson) – U.S., Japan, Australia
33. Women are more prone than men to blackouts. (Blackout, Sarah Hepola) – U.S., France
34. If you're going to hit someone in the throat, do it with the V between your thumb and your pointer finger. (Pretty Girls, Karin Slaughter) – Georgia
35. Because of circadian rhythms, heart attacks are more common in the morning. (The Real Doctor Will See You Shortly, Matt McCarthy) – New York
36. I finally learned how to spell port cochere. (Fates and Furies, Lauren Groff) – U.S., France, Thailand
37. Kim Jong-Il's birthday is February 16th. (Fortune Smiles, Adam Johnson) – U.S., Germany, South Korea
38. Matzah must be made within 18 minutes. (Refund, Karen E. Bender) – California, Alaska, Nevada, Virginia, New York, North Carolina
39. Iguanas bite. (Tenth of December, George Saunders) – U.S.
40. Chinese firework names come from stories made up about what you see when they go off. (City on Fire, Garth Risk Hallberg) – U.S., Scotland, Canada
41. Roasting vegetables can make them taste sweeter. (It Was Me All Along, Andie Mitchell) – U.S., Italy
42. When the Mars company began printing a recipe for M&M cookies on their packages, their sales doubled. (The Man Who Ate Everything, Jeffrey Steingarten) – U.S., France, Italy, Japan, England, Tunisia
43. St. Zita is the patron saint of lost keys and waitresses. (The Beautiful Bureaucrat, Helen Phillips) – ?
The best: One Kick, The Library at Mount Char, The Beautiful Bureaucrat