February, 2019

February 2nd, 2019, 2:04 p.m. - Blue 52

5. The Book of M (Peng Shepherd)
I was with this until the hurricane-in-New-Orleans thing. That was in poor taste.

Up next: Jar of Hearts (Jennifer Hillier)

February 3rd, 2019, 3:43 p.m. - "A lot of straight guys find me..." "Annoying?" "Intimidating. Wait for me to finish – this isn't Mad Libs"

Modern Family – "We Need to Talk About Lily": I can't believe Phil and Pepper didn't become friends years ago. Pepper is exactly the sort of person Phil would want to hang out with. It makes so much sense. Rating: 3 pugs that weren't Stella but were still super-cute

The Magicians – "Lost, Found...Ed": Oh, we're done with the fake-identity stuff already? Okay. Now can Alice get something interesting to do? Rating: 4 sacrificial pigs

Supernatural – "Prophet and Loss": Meh episode, awesome title. Rating: 3 cups of Jell-o

Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "Four Movements": This was a great showcase for Chelsea Peretti, and a great way to write out Gina. I hope that instead of getting a regular assistant for Holt, they pull a Murphy Brown and have someone new every week. Rating: 4 giant gold statues of Gina

Speechless – "F-A-FASHION 4 A-ALL": Why was Dylan hanging out at the school at night? That seemed sketchy. P.S. No one's buying $70 jeans. Come on. Rating: 4 microphones Kenneth didn't give back

February 6th, 2019, 8:03 p.m. - I hope to have that song out of my head sometime in the next few weeks

6. Jar of Hearts (Jennifer Hillier)
Super-creepy and excellently placed. I'm definitely putting Hillier on my list of authors to read again.

Up next: Severance (Ling Ma)

February 9th, 2019, 1:18 p.m. - "A serial-killer clown – this is like the best worst thing that's ever happened to you"

The Magicians – "The Bad News Bear": This was like Ocean's 11, if Ocean's 11 had a snake, a stuffed animal, and coins with librarians' faces on them. I'm only disappointed that the bear in the title wasn't Mayakovsky. Rating: 4 vials of ambrosia

Supernatural – "Lebanon": Did they throw this together the night before, like a student who pulled an all-nighter to write an essay? Because it was...not good. Rating: 3 cheers for Kurt Fuller, even though he had less screentime than Baby

Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "A Tale of Two Bandits": Craig Robinson, Nicole Byer, and Rob Riggle in the same episode? Is it my birthday already?? Rating: 5 bottles of charbonnay

February 10th, 2019, 5:22 p.m. - I must have missed the part that was satire

7. Severance (Ling Ma)
When the end of the world comes, I'm totally going to be one of those people who just tries to keep going about my normal routine. And I'll be ticked that I can't, like, do laundry or watch Netflix. The end of the world is no excuse for society to break down.

Up next: Last Woman Standing (Amy Gentry)

February 16th, 2019, 1:25 p.m. - "I love the first walk-through of a crime scene. It's kind of like arriving at summer camp, except the lake is full of blood and your bunkmate is dead. I think I might be bad at metaphors"

The Magicians – "Marry...Kill": Margo and Josh? Really? ...Really? Rating: 4 model planes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "The Crime Scene": Interesting structure, with Jake and Rosa appearing in the majority of the episode, and everyone else just popping up for a few minutes. It worked for me. I also loved that Rosa had a different hairstyle in every scene. Rating: 5 veggie wraps

Speechless – "J-I-JIMMY V-A-L-VALENTINE": Izzie's going to get some kind of personality, right? At some point? Rating: 4 resold bouquets of roses

February 17th, 2019, 3:53 p.m. - Why didn't anyone comment on the fact that a character was named Fash Banner? I mean...Fash Banner?

8. Last Woman Standing (Amy Gentry)
The first half was slow and made me wonder how thrilling this "thriller" was supposed to be. But the second half really picks up and jams in a lot of interesting stuff. Uh, too much stuff, really. Also, the standup comedians in this book aren't funny.

Up next: Splinter in the Blood (Ashley Dyer)

February 23rd, 2019, 2:04 p.m. - Dear writers everywhere: For the love of all things holy, STOP USING YOUR CHARACTERS' FULL NAMES ALL THE TIME

9. Splinter in the Blood (Ashley Dyer)
Well-paced with interesting characters and a big red herring that I...kind of fell for. A little. Anyway, I'll probably read the authors' next book.

Up next: We Cast a Shadow (Maurice Carlos Ruffin)

February 24th, 2019, 3:19 p.m. - "I'm telling you right now, I will testify against you"

Modern Family – "SuperShowerBabyBowl": I liked that, during Claire and Dylan's conversation, he noted that she's still thinking of him as the guy he used to be. He really has grown up over the years. I mean, just the fact that he's in school to become a nurse means he's at least a little mature. Rating: 4 projector screens set up in a Laundromat

The Magicians – "Escape from the Happy Place": I don't buy that Elliot's most painful memory is of rejecting Quentin, rather than something with his father. Does that mean Quentin and Elliot are eventually going to get together? I don't think I see it. Rating: 4 jars of blood from a stone

Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "The Honeypot": Amy doing KonMari is the most in-character thing the show has ever had her done. I only wish they'd ended with Jake realizing that was going on and saying she'd already done it to their apartment and now he can't find any of his stuff. Rating: 4 fake mustaches

Speechless – "G-A-GAME N-I-NIGHT": Ask and you shall receive – Izzy now has something of a personality! Her scenes with Jimmy and Maya were the best of the episode. Rating: 4 gluten-free cakes

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