General Hospital characters, places, companies, and events
CHARACTERS WHO ARE HERE WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT:
MICHAEL “SONNY” CORINTHOS (played by Maurice Benard) - Why not start with Mr. I’m-the-Center-of-the-Universe? Sonny moved to Port Charles, New York in the early ‘90s and quickly became one of the most powerful men in town. He’ll deny it if asked, but he’s a mob boss with a long list of enemies, including LORENZO ALCAZAR, FAITH ROSCO, and, in the past, RIC LANSING, his own half brother. Sonny’s father MIKE CORBIN left when he was young and his mother remarried an abusive cop before having an affair with her boss and getting pregnant with Ric. After arriving in Port Charles, Sonny got involved with Karen Wexler and BRENDA BARRETT, then married LILY RIVERA. Just as he was about to leave her for Brenda, Lily got pregnant with the first of Sonny’s cumulative six children (only three of them are still alive). Lily and baby #1 were killed by a car bomb meant for Sonny, which kicked off his victim complex. Sonny somehow got involved with CARLY CORINTHOS, who he managed to tolerate for a record number of years before finally divorcing her. They have two kids, MICHAEL and MORGAN. Sonny also has a daughter, KRISTINA, with ALEXIS DAVIS, whom he doesn’t seem to see a lot, mostly because Alexis can’t stand him. He and SAM McCALL had a baby together as well, but she was stillborn. When not overworking his second-in-command JASON MORGAN, ignoring his kids, fighting/making out with Carly, plotting how to not kill Ric, or pretending to be just an innocent coffee importer, Sonny used to relax by honing his various rivalries, getting shot at, and throwing breakable things. After a brief, unmemorable fling with EMILY QUARTERMAINE (which was weird in so many ways) and an also-brief bout with manic depression (which the writers seem to have dropped altogether), he’s currently a single Zen master and is still in love with Carly. No, I don’t know why..
CAROLINE “CARLY” BENSON CORINTHOS (Laura Wright; previously played by Sarah Brown, Tamara Braun, and Jennifer Bransford) - Carly first arrived in Port Charles in 1996, using her dead best friend’s name and seeking revenge on her birth mother BOBBIE SPENCER. Poor little Carly grew up in a trailer park in Florida and wanted to get back at her mother for giving her up for adoption. Her real name is Caroline Benson, but when she came to Port Charles, she used the name of her supposedly dead best friend Charlotte Roberts, aka Reese Marshall. Carly’s plan involved sleeping with her own stepfather, TONY JONES, which kind of makes sense, since she slept with Charlotte/original Carly’s father. Carly’s many relationship blunders kicked off when a “friends with benefits” arrangement with Jason, who she named as father of her son Michael when she wasn’t sure if it was Tony or A.J. QUARTERMAINE. She somehow wound up with Sonny, who adopted Michael, and had her second son Morgan with him. While separated from Sonny at various times, Carly almost got together with ZANDER SMITH and did get together with Alcazar. She runs the Metro Court, though she doesn’t seem to do much work there, and spends about ten minutes a month with her kids. Carly enjoys shopping, ignoring her family members, and being self-righteous. She’s currently engaged to JAX JACKS, but I’m sure things aren’t completely over between her and Sonny, so I doubt there will actually be a trip to the altar.
JASON MORGAN (QUARTERMAINE) (Steve Burton) - Jason is Sonny’s best friend/second-in-command/servant/whipping boy/doormat. He happens to look hot in a T-shirt and leather jacket. After years of being the Quartermaines’ favored child, Jason suffered brain damage in a car accident caused by his brother A.J. (or possibly from a drug given to him by a crazy psychiatrist A.J. hired to kill him) and lost his memory. He ditched medical school and his family to work for Sonny, ride motorcycles, and play pool. Relationships with ROBIN SCORPIO, Carly (sort of), and ELIZABETH SPENCER (sort of) derailed before Jason married Courtney. For some reason, they decided to wait until after they were married to work out their differences, so the marriage didn’t last very long. Jason recently got back together with Sam, but he also got Elizabeth pregnant (they were on a break!), which will make things...I want to say interesting, but I can’t promise anything.
SAMANTHA McCALL (Kelly Monaco) - Sam was introduced as a love interest for Jax, but after they broke up, she decided to stick around and become A THORN IN MY SIDE. Since arriving in Port Charles, she’s had Sonny’s stillborn child, falled in love with Jason, gotten kidnapped about four times, and still never gotten killed. Sam didn’t find out until she was an adult that she was adopted, and her birth mother is Alexis, Sam’s previous sworn enemy. Now they’re okay, sort of. Too bad Sam slept with Ric (her stepfather). She recently got back together with Jason, and they’re trying to have a baby, which you know would be ridiculously adorable.
JASPER “JAX” JACKS (Ingo Rademacher) - Australian-born Jax is a playboy businessman with a weakness for hot women and anything expensive. Since 1996, his crushes/love interests have included LOIS CERULLO, Brenda (on and off for ten years and counting), Miranda Jamison, V Ardanowski, Chloe Morgan, SKYE QUARTERMAINE, and Courtney. Jax is a corporate raider and probably has about as much money as Sonny, which may be another reason they hate each other (the main ones are Brenda and Courtney). He was also briefly married to Alexis, which was awesome. Jax’s mom JANE is also awesome and needs to visit more. Jax married Courtney after betting her that he could get her to sleep with him. Then they got divorced because, for some reason, she thought Nikolas was a better catch. After discovering that Courtney was pregnant, Jax altered numerous paternity tests to make everyone think he, not Nikolas, was the baby’s father. It worked until Jax’s conscience made him tell the truth about John’s (now JOHN) paternity. His consolation prize was Carly, but anyone else would rather have the baby.
ALEXIS DAVIS, aka ALEXIS DAVIDOVICH, aka NATASHA CASSADINE (Nancy Lee Grahn) - Alexis should be handled with care. However, there’s no doubt that she rocks. Alexis was raised as a distant Cassadine relative and didn’t discover until she was an adult that Stavros and STEFAN CASSADINE were her brothers rather than her cousins. This makes HELENA her stepmother, a concept which would intimidate anyone. Alexis arrived in Port Charles in 1996 (a popular year for new arrivals) and at first was nothing more than a slightly useful lawyer. Since then, she’s discovered her true paternity, teamed up with Luke Spencer, married Jax, left NED at the altar, fallen for Sonny, found her long-lost sister Kristina, had a baby (also named Kristina), faked Dissociative Identity Disorder, killed Luis Alcazar in self-defense, married Ric, had a baby with him, learned that Sam was her long-lost daughter, and began chemo for lung cancer. Through it all, she’s continued to rock.
RICHARD “RIC” LANSING (Rick Hearst) - Budget cuts prevent Ric from spelling his name with a K, but not from being alternately annoying and charming. He and Sonny have an on-again, off-again good relationship, mainly because, to quote Carly, “Mom liked him better.” Ric’s exes include Elizabeth (he married her twice and they almost had a baby together) and Faith, who actually had a brief obsession with him. His past deeds and crimes include kidnapping Carly while she was pregnant with Morgan, being smarmy to the point of amusement, and not telling anyone that he knew Sonny was Kristina’s father. His best decision was marrying Alexis and having a baby with her, MOLLY. When not trying to please Sonny, he’s trying to drive him crazy. Ric made the bad decision to sleep with Sam, which angered both Alexis and Jason, and he got his revenge by framing her for a felony she didn’t commit. If he’s not careful, he might be taken out by...
LORENZO ALCAZAR (Ted King) - Alcazar is one of many Port Charles citizens who came to town in order to exact vengeance. In his case, it was for the death of his older yet strangely identical brother LUIS, whom Alexis killed in self-defense in 2002. Alcazar became obsessed with Carly but engaged in a “relationship” with Lois, which ended when she realized that he didn’t actually like her that much. Alcazar took care of his niece Sage for a while, until she was murdered. It’s not clear exactly what Alcazar did before, but now he...does something illegal. He fathered DIEGO SANCHEZ/ALCAZAR years ago, unfortunately, and introduced him to...whatever it is that he does. Somewhere along the line he fell for Skye, with whom he now has a baby, LILA RAE SOMETHING. He’s currently planning to avenge Diego’s death Inigo Montoya-style.
SKYE CHANDLER QUARTERMAINE (Robin Christopher) - Skye was raised by adoptive parents and arrived in Port Charles in 2001 in search of Alan, whom she thought was her birth father. He’s not, but she stayed anyway. Skye is a recovering alcoholic, which made her and A.J. allies when he was still on the show. She was married to Jax and dated Ned, then fell in love with Luke before randomly settling on Alcazar, who fathered her new baby. Since she arrived on the show, Skye has undergone a huge transformation and become one of the more enjoyable characters.
LUCAS “LUKE” SPENCER (Tony Geary) - It would take about ten pages to describe all of the major pieces of Luke’s past, since he’s been on the show off and on since the ‘70s. Mainly, he was half of the super couple Luke and LAURA, stopped the Cassadines from freezing the world (no, really), held a number of jobs (including mobster, mayor, club owner, and disco manager), and did a lot of illegal things. Past loves include FELICIA JONES and Skye, as well as Laura, his so-called “soul mate.” Luke is currently married to TRACY QUARTERMAINE (don’t ask), though he’s still in love with Laura. It’s weird. His favorite nemesis (and ours) is and always will be Helena.
LUCAS “LUCKY” SPENCER, JR. (Greg Vaughan; previously played by Jonathan Jackson) - Once upon a time, Lucky was a gambler, a computer whiz, a photographer, and a romantic. He was also really hot. He lived above a motorcycle shop and hung out with girlfriend Elizabeth, half brother Nikolas, and friend Emily (aka the Four Musketeers). Then he was kidnapped by Helena and presumed dead for almost a year. When he came back, he was sullen, broody, annoying, and nowhere near as hot. After a while, Jacob Young finally left and Lucky became fun and cute again. Then he got addicted to painkillers and cheated on Elizabeth (then his wife) with MAXIE JONES. Elizabeth dumped him, but he thinks he’s the father of her unborn baby (he’s not). He also thought he was the father of Maxie’s baby, but there wasn’t actually a baby. Oops!
ELIZABETH WEBBER (Rebecca Herbst) - Upon her arrival in Port Charles in 1997, Elizabeth was the bad-girl alternative to her sister Sarah’s goody two shoes. She managed to steal the spotlight from Sarah, who subsequently disappeared, and overhauled her image with help from Lucky and Emily. Elizabeth got pregnant, married Ric, miscarried, got pregnant again (this time by Zander), left Ric, and left town. She returned with son CAMERON in tow and is working as a nurse alongside grandmother AUDREY HARDY. She and Lucky got married but are now divorcing. Just wait till he finds out that Jason, not he, is the father of her unborn baby....
EMILY BOWEN QUARTERMAINE CASSADINE (Natalia Livingston; previously played by Amber Tamblyn) - When she first arrived in Port Charles in the mid-‘90s, Emily was a welcome addition to the Quartermaine family. Now she’s just annoying. Old Emily was a recovering drug user who mainly hung out in the background, developed crushes on various guys, and had a good sense of humor. She could also act. New Emily is a breast cancer survivor, a girl who’s continually torn between guys (until now), and Little Miss I’m-So-Perfect-It’s-Not-Even-Funny-How-Unrealistic-I’ve-Become. She also can’t act. She cries more in one week than most people do in their entire lives. (She and Sam could have a cry-off.) Emily used to be married to Nikolas, who may or may not still be in love with her, because she’s such a lovely person. But then he cheated on her with Courtney, which made Emily cry even more than usual. She was with Sonny for about five minutes, and now she’s back together with Nikolas. She actually hasn’t had much to do lately, which has been a nice vacation for everyone.
NIKOLAS CASSADINE (Tyler Christopher; previously played by Stephen Martines) - Another 1996 arrival, Nikolas saved half sister Lulu’s life and set off another round of the Spencer/Cassadine feud. He and half brother Lucky patched up their rivalry and Nikolas even managed to win over Luke (sort of). After disastrous relationships with Sarah Webber, Katherine Bell (aka Mrs. Robinson), and Gia Campbell, plus a bizarre common-law marriage to Lydia Karenin, Nikolas put up with…um, I mean, was married to Emily. He kind of cheated on her with Courtney, which resulted in a baby, Spencer, whom Nikolas is now raising and trying to protect from Helena. He just got back together with Emily, for some reason.
ROBIN SCORPIO (Kimberly McCullough) - Robin was raised by her uncle MAC after her parents, ROBERT and ANNA, were supposedly killed in the early ‘90s. After growing up in Port Charles, Robin headed off for college in the late ‘90s. She returned for good not long after, then left again in 1999. After years in France, attending medical school, she recently returned. Jason used to date her, and Carly loves to talk about how much she hates her. Robin contracted HIV from her high school sweetheart, Stone Cates, but everyone else talks about it more than she does. She and PATRICK DRAKE recently admitted their love for each other, which means they won’t get a plotline for a long time.
PATRICK DRAKE (Jason Thompson) - Patrick is your typical cocky surgeon who knows how hot he is and knows that everyone else knows. His father, NOAH is his favorite opponent. He’s finally making a commitment to Robin, though now they’re boring. Every other single woman in town (and some non-single ones) is also in love with him.
LESLEY LU “LULU” SPENCER (Julie Berman; previously played by Stephanie Allen and a bunch of twins) - Lulu is Luke and Laura’s daughter. A victim of SORAS (Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome), she’s supposed to be 12 but is actually 18 and has an attitude. She’s awesome. After hiding a crush on stepbrother DILLON, Lulu slept with him, then regretted it since she was the reason he and GEORGIE broke up. She also regretted getting pregnant and subsequently had an abortion. For a while it lookedl ike she’d be getting together with her professor PETER MARQUEZ, but now I’m more inclined to think she’ll be reuniting with Dillon.
MAXIE JONES (Kirsten Storms; previously played by Robyn Richards and Danica Stewart) - Maxie is Felicia’s older daughter with her ex-husband Frisco. As a child, she suffered from a heart disorder and received a transplant from her cousin. She rebelled as a teenager and went off to boarding school, but she returned a little calmer. She had a relationship with the now-deceased Jesse Beaudry, then reverted to her teenage crush on Lucky. After enabling his prescription-drug addiction, she had an affair with him and claimed to be pregnant with his child, which she “miscarried.” Mac is gonna be MAD....
DILLON QUARTERMAINE (Scott Clifton) - Dillon is another SORAS victim. He has funny hair that everyone has made fun of at this point. Dillon wants to direct movies and often references films, especially ones that most people his age have never seen. Though he lost his virginity to Sage, he and GEORGIE JONES wound up together and eventually got married because Dillon was dying. Then he didn’t die. He and Georgie didn’t last, but after a very brief fling with Lulu, he and Georgie got back together. After Lulu’s abortion, Dillon turned in his video camera for business stuff, wanting to be the next big thing at ELQ, but he recently left his internship, which means maybe he’ll finally go back to film. And stop wearing those stupid glasses.
GEORGIE JONES (Lindze Letherman) - Another SORAS sufferer, Georgie is definitely not supposed to be only a year or two younger than her sister Maxie. Georgie’s father, Frisco, hasn’t seen her since she was a baby, and her mother Felicia has a tendency to leave town. She and Maxie consider Mac their father and he takes advantage of that relationship. Georgie used to be the Elizabeth 2.0 to Dillon’s Lucky 2.0 until she started falling for Diego, for some reason. She and Dillon are sort of together, but I’ve stopped caring.
DAMIAN SPINELLI (Bradford Anderson) - Spinelli first appeared as a Port Charles University computer geek/stoner hired by Alcazar to create a fake flash drive to frame Sam. It looked like his character wouldn’t be around for long, but now he’s moved in with Sam and Jason and keeps hanging around with Lulu, so who knows? Spinelli has a nickname for everyone, and though he was annoying at first, he’s pretty entertaining now.
TRACY QUARTERMAINE (Jane Elliot) - Tracy’s probably the most twisted of the Quartermaines (just ask her sons, Ned and Dillon). She left Port Charles for a long time, then returned with Dillon in tow. She’s currently married to Luke and seems to be in love with him. I don’t know.
ALAN QUARTERMAINE (Stuart Damon) - Alan has been around since the late ‘70s, and since then he’s probably had about ten affairs. His kids include Skye (who’s not really his, but who he treats as a daughter), A.J. (supposedly dead), Jason, and Emily. Alan is the Chief of Staff at General Hospital and often somehow one of the more normal Quartermaines. He and Monica have been married on and off for more than 20 years. They’re killing him off in February because the writers hate us.
MONICA WEBBER QUARTERMAINE (Leslie Charleson) - Monica has also been around since the late ‘70s and has also had numerous affairs. Don’t mess with her or her kids. The Quartermaine mansion is hers, but Alan gave it to her.
EDWARD QUARTERMAINE (John Ingle; previously played by David Lewis and Jed Allan) - The patriarch of the Quartermaine family and former head of ELQ Industries, a Fortune 500 company, Edward used to be gruff but is now mostly just grumpy. His wife LILA died not to long ago, and on the rebound, he married Heather Webber, which was a huge mistake. He’s very disappointed in his heirs and wants Jason and Sam to have a child so he can bring him or her up right, or something like that.
MICHAEL CORINTHOS, III (Dylan Cash) - Professional moppet. He’s A.J. and Carly’s son, raised by Jason and adopted by Sonny. Sometimes he’s cute, and sometimes he’s really annoying. His most interesting plotline was being kidnapped by A.J., then thinking he killed him. Since then, he hasn’t done much of anything, which is fine with me.
MICHAEL “MIKE” CORBIN (Ron Hale) - Mike has gone from unreliable gambler to maitre d’ to diner manager in just ten years. When he’s not trying to give his son Sonny advice or pouring coffee at Kelly’s, he’s…actually, that’s all he does.
FATHER MATEO RUIZ (Robert LaSardo) - Mateo was the identical twin of bad guy MANNY RUIZ. He’s a priest, though he used to be a bad guy as well, so I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before he starts shooting people (like Jason, who killed his brother).
CRUZ RODRIGUEZ (Adrian Alvarado) - Cruz is one of the few competent detectices at the Port Charles Police Department. He’s also easy on the eyes, which is nice.
KRISTINA DAVIS (Kali Rodriguez; previously played by Sarah and Emma Smith) - Kristina is, in addition to being the world’s most adorable child, Alexis’ daughter with Sonny. She is one of the few people excited that Sam is her sister.
LAINEY WINTERS (Kent Masters King) - Lainey is a psychiatrist and doesn’t really do much. She kind of had a relationship with Justus before he died. When not providing services as Port Charles’ only psychiatrist, apparently, she drinks tequila with Emily, Elizabeth, Robin, and KELLY LEE.
PETER MARQUEZ (Eddie Matos) - Peter, Lulu’s once-obvious future love interest and now possibly Georgie’s future love interest, teaches English at Port Charles University. We recently discovered that he went to college with Patrick. He was almost a bad guy for about five seconds, but apparently he’s not, unless you count his inappropriate behavior around some of his students.
HELENA CASSADINE (Constance Towers; previously played by Elizabeth Taylor) - Possibly the most entertaining GH villain ever, Helena lives mostly to try to win over grandson Nikolas and torture Luke. She hates Alexis for being her late husband Mikkos’ daughter with his mistress Kristen, and she hates pretty much everyone else just for living. She kills with little discrimination. Nikolas threw her off a cliff to stop her from killing Emily and doing us all a favor, but, fortunately, she survived. She often disappears for long periods of time, but she’s back in town now and wants to raise great-grandson Spencer as a Cassadine. She’s awesome.
CHARACTERS WHO DROP IN EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE:
ROBERT SCORPIO (Tristan Rogers) - Robert is one of the more famous characters from GH and was once half of a super-couple with ANNA DEVANE SCORPIO. In the ‘80s he was a spy who hung out with Luke and helped save the world and stuff. Now he works for some health organization, which I guess takes him out of town a lot because we haven’t seen him for a while.
MALCOLM “MAC” SCORPIO (John J. York) - Mac arrived in town in the early ‘90s and had to dodge the law for a while. Naturally, he later became the police commissioner. (If you think that’s weird, Luke used to be the mayor.) He raised his niece Robin, which prepared him to help raise stepdaughters Maxie and Georgie, though none of the three ever really listened to him. Mac may or may not still be in love with ex-wife Felicia.
AUDREY HARDY (Rachel Ames) - Audrey’s the longest-running character, having been around since the show’s first year, 1963. She’s not around much, but she works as a nurse at General Hospital and looks out for grandchildren Elizabeth and great-grandson Cameron. She may or may not still have a cat.
BARBARA JEAN “BOBBIE” SPENCER BROCK MEYER JONES CASSADINE (Jacklyn Zeman) - Bobbie, another ‘70s staple, was a prostitute before she became “the best surgical nurse General Hospital has ever seen,” or whatever it was Steven Webber called her that one time he was actually on the show. At the age of 16 she got pregnant with Carly and gave her up for adoption, only to come face-to-face with her years later and have to face her wrath. Bobbie also has an adoptive son, LUCAS JONES, but she never talks to him. She co-owns Kelly’s Diner with Luke and splits her time between there and the hospital.
EDWARD “NED” ASHTON (Wallace Kurth) - Every few years, Ned switches between one of three jobs - rock star Eddie Maine, executive at L&B Records, and ELQ desk monkey. Right now he’s…actually, I have no idea. Ned’s former loves include Jenny Eckert (yes, his half brother Dillon’s stepmother), Lois (with whom he has a daughter, BROOK), Katherine Bell (to whom he was married illegally while he was married to Lois, and whom he didn’t actually love), Alexis (who I used to think he really should be with), and Skye (even though they once thought they were cousins). He also spent two years pretending to be Kristina’s father with no consolation prize when the truth came out about her paternity. Apparently he moved to Manhattan when no one was looking, but he should really come back. Ned has nice dimples, and, yes, you can call him Nedly.
JANE JACKS (Barbara Tarbuck) - Jane (aka Lady Jane) is Jax’s mother. I used to think she was awesome, but now she’s kind of a boring busy-body. I still don’t get how she liked Brenda, Carly, and Skye but not Chloe.
EPIPHANY JOHNSON (Sonya Eddy) - You know Laverne from Scrubs? That’s Epiphany.
STANFORD “STAN” JOHNSON (Kiko Ellsworth; previously played by Karim Prince and Gomez Warren) - Stan is Epiphany’s son. He does surveillance and tech stuff for Jason. He’s pretty cool, but I miss the braids.
KELLY LEE (Minae Noji) - Dr. Lee was brought on as a potential love interest for Jax, but she has inherited the position as Port Charles’ sole obstetrician. Fortunately, she sometimes gets to drink tequila with Emily, Robin, Elizabeth, and Lainey.
MAX GIAMBETTI (Derk Cheetwood) - Max is one of Sonny’s guards and can usually be seen opening or closing doors. For a guard, he has a pretty good sense of humor. He rocks (despite his weird crush on Carly), and has inspired the game Spot Max.
MILO GIAMBETTI (Drew Cheetwood) - Milo is Max’s younger, not-as-intelligent brother and another of Sonny’s guards. He has a huge crush on Lulu, which is kind of hilarious.
ALICE GUNDERSON (Bergen Williams) - Alice is the Quartermaines’ maid, and I don’t think you want to mess with her. Her greatest embarrassment is probably the fact that she had a crush on the Quartermaines’ butler Dobson, who was really Alexis. She’s in love with Luke, though Robert might be her second choice. According to Spinelli, she wrestles in her sparetime, and I can’t tell you how badly I want to see her do that.
LETICIA JUAREZ (Jessi Morales) - Leticia is Michael and Morgan’s nanny. She pretty much raised them in their parents’ place. I hope she gets paid really well for what she does, despite the fact that she’s the worst nanny in the history of the world and can’t keep track of Michael for more than two minutes.
VIOLA (Michelle Merring) - Viola is the African-American Leticia. She takes care of Molly and Kristina, but at least she’s able to keep an eye on them.
ALFRED (Jack Donner) - Though he’s quite old and I’m always afraid he’s going to keel over from a heart attack, Alfred is Nikolas’ butler/security guard/baby wrangler. He’s kind of cool, though he likes Emily for some reason. My secret theory is that Viola, Leticia, Max, Milo, Alice, and ALFRED get together for weekly poker games.
MORGAN STONE CORINTHOS (George Juarez) - Morgan is Carly and Sonny’s son. He doesn’t do much, but he’s kind of cute. He doesn’t quite seem to get the difference between acting and real life, though.
MITCHELL COLEMAN (Blake Gibbons) - In the past couple of years, Coleman has run a strip club, blackmailed A.J. and Courtney, taken over a bar, stolen a treasure, done private investigations, kidnapped Emily while working for Helena, faked a relationship with Tracy, and served numerous rounds of tequila to GH’s female doctors and nurses. He needs a haircut.
LESLEY WEBBER (Denise Alexander) - Lesley is Laura’s mother and Lulu’s default caregiver. In the ‘70s, she had plots. Now…not so much.
DARA JENSEN (Vanita Harbour) - Dara used to be the ADA. She used to have mini storylines, like when she dated Taggert, or when she dated Justus. She also sang really well. Sometimes she pops in to do law-related stuff, and apparently she now practices family law.
CAMERON WEBBER (Braden Wilkes) - Cameron is Elizabeth’s son; his father was Zander. He was named for his grandfather, Zander’s late father Cameron Lewis. We don’t see him much, but he’s cute.
MOLLY LANSING (Faith and Hope Dever) - Molly has the fortune to be Alexis’ daughter and the misfortunte to be Ric’s. She’s kind of cute, in a chubby baby way, and almost always in a good mood, which is better than...
SPENCER CASSADINE (Spencer and Nathan Casamassima) - Spencer, who never smiles. Seriously, kid, I know you’re a Cassadine, but you’re allowed to be happy. Spencer is Nikolas and Courtney’s son, and maybe he’s just upset because Emily is always around.
DEAD/GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN:
LAURA WEBBER BALDWIN SPENCER (Genie Francis) - Laura was half of the soap super couple Luke and Laura, but now she’s sitting in a psychiatric hospital, doing nothing, because Genie Francis is smart. Recently someone else got smart and offered her a lot of money to come back. Too bad they didn’t offer her more.
DIEGO SANCHEZ (Ignacio Serricchio) - Deigo was annoying. I cheered when he got killed off. His sister was really his mother and the man he thought killed his father was actually his father. Diego thought he was a bad boy, but he just needed a haircut and something to do. Even after falling in love with Georgie and joining the mob, he had no plot. Sam recently killed him in self-defense, which was awesome.
MANNY RUIZ (Robert LaSardo) - Manny was another revenge arrival. He tortured anyone he could get his hands on, especially Sam, since he hated Jason. His tattoos were fun. We missed Manny when he was gone, and we’re very glad he happened to have an identical twin brother.
TONY JONES (Brad Maule) - Tony was Lucas’ father and Bobbie’s ex-husband. Ten years ago, he had one of the best plots on daytime. In recent years, he was lucky if he got one scene every three months. Brad Maule asked to be let go, so the writers killed him off during the virus storyline earlier this year. This means that we can no longer shout out, “TONY!” whenever he was onscreen.
COURTNEY MATTHEWS (Alicia Leigh Willis) - Courtney grew up in Atlantic City with her croupier mother Janine and her now-you-see-him-now-you-don’t father Mike. In 2002 she moved to Port Charles and quickly ingratiated herself in her half brother Sonny’s life. Courtney married A.J., then Jason, with whom she had a child who she miscarried. Her past deeds and crimes included shooting a cop to save Jason, saving a dog from a fire (this earned her a ton of money which she used to start her own foundation), and stripping to help A.J. (long story). Courtney wound up marrying Jax, then cheated on him with Nikolas and got pregnant with his baby. She also died during the epidemic. I, for one, was thrilled.
FAITH ROSCO (Cynthia Preston) - Another great female villain, this one a mobster who took over for her late husband. She let her guard down around Justus, but would shoot anyone else for sneezing. She also liked to kiss women. Don’t ask. Faith’s fatal mistake was kidnapping Sonny’s kids and then announcing that Michael was dead. A sniper shot her in a courthouse, even though Sonny was totally supposed to kill her. I miss her.
JUSTUS WARD (Mfundo Morrison; previously played by Joseph C. Phillips and Monti Sharp) - Justus was Edward’s grandson by way of Edward’s late illegitimate son Bradley. He was a lawyer but almost became a monk. He and Faith had some sort of history - something to do with him not keeping her boyfriend out of jail. They got back together in Port Charles, but then she left the country, so that relationship didn’t exactly work out. Justus also used to date Dara Jensen, but she’s never around, so that doesn’t really matter. Manny recently killed him because, sadly, no one ever respected Mfundo Morrison.
LILA MORGAN QUARTERMAINE (Anna Lee) - Lila was the matriarch of the Quartermaine family and everyone’s favorite person. She put up with her husband Edward’s wandering eye and manage to keep as many people in line as she could. Everyone was sad when she died, but Skye made us all feel a little better by naming her daughter after her.
ALAN “A.J.” QUARTERMAINE, J.R. (Billy Warlock) - A.J., always the black sheep of the Quartermaine family, spent years struggling with alcoholism and his inability to prove his worth to his relatives. In 2003, he executed one of the show’s best exits - he stole all of the Quartermaines’ money and fled the country with Nikolas’ common-law ex-wife, Lydia. He recently faked his own death to frame his ex, Courtney, and make it easier to kidnap his son Michael. Too bad that fun Dr. Thomas went a little crazy and murdered him.
BRENDA BARRETT (Vanessa Marcil) - Brenda was a popular character from the mid-‘90s through the early ‘00s. After on and off relationships with both Sonny and Jax, she faked her death in 1998 and got together with Luis Alcazar. In 2002 she made a brief return to Port Charles, during which time she married Jason, almost married Jax, and kissed Sonny. She skedaddled to Europe and is usually only mentioned when Jax and Sonny are fighting.
LILY RIVERA CORINTHOS (Lilly Melgar) - Lily was Sonny’s first wife and the mother of his first child. She and said child were killed by a car bomb in 1996. Sonny mentions her when he gets really broody and sometimes visits her grave or asks her to look after his various children.
LUIS ALCAZAR (Ted King) - The first Alcazar to hit Port Charles, Luis spent four years dating Brenda/holding her hostage before deciding to sever her ties with the past by killing Sonny and Jax. However, he was amusingly unsuccessful and wound up the target of many people’s wrath. Alexis killed him in self-defense in 2002.
PLACES:
KELLY’S DINER - Kelly’s is home to Ruby’s famous chili, Port Charles’ most popular coffee, and a number of rooms that people can rent upstairs. Almost everyone in town has lived above Kelly’s at some point. Kelly’s was first owned by Rose Kelly, then taken over by Ruby Anderson, Bobbie and Luke’s aunt. After Ruby’s death, an ex-hooker named Tammy took over, and after Tammy randomly disappeared, Mike took over. Bobbie and Luke co-own the diner, which apparently means that they can rent or deny rooms to whomever they wish.
THE PORT CHARLES HOTEL/METRO COURT - The hotel used to be the place for rich visitors and residents (such as Jax and Katherine). In 2004, a huge fire damaged much of the hotel, which wasn’t seen again for ten months. Jax then bought the land the hotel stood on and rebuilt, naming the hotel Metro Court.
SONNY’S HOUSE - Sonny recently bought this so-called gated mansion that appears to rival the Quartermaines’ house. For some reason, he needs a dozen rooms for his three kids who don’t even live with him full-time. I thought the house was called Greystone, but everyone just calls it Sonny’s, so whatever.
QUARTERMAINE MANSION - As implied by the name, the Quartermaines live here. There are numerous wings and balconies and apparently it’s easy to enter by climing up the side of the house to a window. The grounds include a pool house (the ideal place for teen sex), a gatehouse (assuming they rebuilt it), and huge fridges (which often house dead bodies). The house belongs to Monica, but if you say that, you have to add that Alan gave it to her.
WYNDEMERE/SPOON ISLAND - A bunch of people have lived in Wyndemere, the mansion on Spoon Island, but the Cassadines have owned it since 1996. Nikolas currently resides there with Emily. Residents, visitors, and intruders must take a launch to reach the island, though the launch operators tend to turn the other way when intruders sneak on board. There are a number of secret passages and grottos around the house, which makes it the ideal place for fugitives to hide out or for people like Luke to sneak around.
HARBORVIEW TOWERS - It’s unclear how many floors of apartments Harborview Towers houses, since we only ever see the penthouses. Sonny, Carly, Michael, and Morgan used to live on one side of the hall, where Reese lives now; Jason and Sam live on the other. There appears to be a “secret” entrance which bypasses the elevator, but only Jason and the Corinthoses ever use it.
THE CELLAR - In 2002, Carly and Ric discovered a secret room in Kelly’s which served as a speakeasy in the 1920s. The club closed down not long after its opening due to a New Year’s Eve shootout (which we saw in flashbacks during a lame black and white episode). Carly, having lost her previous club, Club 101, to Jax, decided to renovate the place and turn it into The Cellar. Everyone goes there for drinks, including people who don’t even like Carly.
THE PORT CHARLES GRILLE - The Grille was the Port Charles Hotel’s restaurant and one of Port Charles’ fancier restaurants. When more than five characters were there at the same time, you knew something cool was going to happen. Now it’s all modern and stuff, and people still hang out there, but it’s just not the same. It was probably renamed, but no one’s said the new name yet.
JAKE’S - Jake’s Bar has been around for years, though it’s not seen as much anymore. It’s the best place to go to drink beer and shoot pool (the second best place being Jason’s penthouse). Due to his experience running a strip club, Coleman was given the job of running it, apparently after Jake retired, or something. Contrary to popular belief, Jake is a woman.
THE HAUNTED STAR - The Haunted Star is a yacht previously owned by the Cassadines and later “acquired” by Luke and Laura. The boat was renovated early this year and now houses a casino. Luke and Skye own/run the casino, which hasn’t had guests for a long time and has recently served as the headquarters for planning Luke’s schemes.
THE NO NAME - The No Name used to be a chic restaurant/club where the cool people ate. Now it’s mostly a mob hangout. When Sonny says he’s taking you to the No Name, you know you’re special and/or going to have one of his kids.
LUKE’S PLACE - Luke opened a blues club in the ‘90s which subsequently became both a popular hangout and a target of mob hits. It’s my belief that Claude, Luke’s much-abused employee, single-handedly runs the place now.
THE OUTBACK - Huh? What? What’s that? Oh, right. Mac used to own a restaurant called The Outback, but it hasn’t been seen or mentioned in years. He’s too busy being the police commissioner to deal with it now anyway.
COMPANIES:
ELQ INDUSTRIES - ELQ (which stands for Edward Lewis Quartermaine) is a Fortune 500 company Edward started years ago. It’s the source of most of the Quartermaine family’s money, which A.J. stole last year and which Tracy recently replenished with help from Helena. Various people own stock in ELQ, but it’s always changing hands, so it’s hard to keep track of shareholders. ELQ business meetings usually take place in the Quartermaine’s living room, and they’re almost always entertaining.
L&B RECORDS - Lois and Brenda (L&B - get it?) started this company in the mid-‘90s with Sonny’s help. Eddie Maine (aka Ned) was one of their first stars, and Ned later helped run the company. Lois left town in 1996 and kept running the business from Brooklyn. In 1998, Brenda “died” and Lois took over most of the operations. In 2004, Lois returned to Port Charles and she and Ned decided to revitalize the company. They seem to be focusing on the teenaged girl market.
CORINTHOS/MORGAN...UM, ENTERPRISES, I GUESS - The Corinthos/Morgan business is Sonny and Jason’s legal front for their illegal activities. They import coffee, and possibly some other stuff.
DECEPTION COSMETICS - Lucy Coe started up Deception in the ‘90s but later lost the company to her rival Katherine. After Katherine’s death, Laura took over the company and ran it until 2002. Past “Faces” of Deception have included Dominique Baldwin, Brenda, and Gia. Now that Laura’s gone, Deception hasn’t been mentioned for awhile, but it might pop up again in the future.
JAX COSMETICS - After she lost Deception to Katherine, Lucy teamed up with Jax to help run Jax Cosmetics. Jax probably still owns the company, but he never talks about it anymore.
EVENTS:
THE HOSPITAL CHRISTMAS PARTY - General Hospital hosts a Christmas party every year for kids who are stuck in the hospital over the holidays. Steve Hardy used to read the Christmas story every year, and since his death, Alan has taken over the honor. Tony used to dress up as Santa, but in recent years Edward has been forced to do it.
THANKSGIVING - The Quartermaines haven’t had a turkey on Thanksgiving for almost a decade. In 1995, Lucy’s duck was on the loose and the Qs decided they didn’t want to eat the duck that had been prepared. Instead, they ordered pizza, which quickly became their new tradition. In 1996, their cook quit just before cooking. In 1997, Tracy sent burglars to rob the Qs and they made off with the turkey. In 2000, the dinner was catered, but the cook found out that she’d been sidestepped and she threw the turkey out the window. In 2001, the turkey actually made it to the table but was disrupted during a food fight. GH often makes the Quartermaines act foolish on Thanksgiving and then sing “We Gather Together.”
NURSE’S BALL - The Nurse’s Ball was an annual talent show/fundraiser that took place every June from 1994 through 2001. They so need to bring it back.
KELLY’S CLOSED DINNER - In the late ‘90s, before the advent of Sullen Lucky, Emily, Elizabeth, Lucky, and Nikolas used to ask whoever was running the diner at the time to close Kelly’s early so that they could have a potluck dinner together. Apparently Elizabeth always brought brownies because they were the only thing she could cook. They haven’t had one for awhile, but they mentioned it recently, so I thought I’d bring it up.