January, 2013
January 5th, 2013, 12:26 p.m. - Research? Anyone? No? Okay, then
1. One Breath Away (Heather Gudenkauf)
Up next: Seating Arrangements (Maggie Shipstead)
January 6th, 2013, 11:46 a.m. - Yay, John's finally gone!
Top Chef - "Past Suppers": I'm surprised they didn't do this challenge in the all-star season. It...didn't quite work. Thank goodness for the cook-off, though, because I would have been sad if Lizzie had been eliminated. Especially if she'd been eliminated over John. John, who is gone. And who hopefully lost to C.J. in "Last Chance Kitchen." Please, please, please. Rating: 4 not-so-fresh scallops
The Big Bang Theory - "The Egg Salad Equivalency": I'm still giggling over parts of this episode. God bless you, Sheldon. Rating: 5 pictures of STDs
January 12th, 2013, 12:33 p.m. - "A wedding is not an excuse for bad behavior"
2. Seating Arrangements (Maggie Shipstead)
P.S. Shut up, Winn.
Up next: Abandon (Blake Crouch)
January 13th, 2013, 2:46 p.m. - "I'm cold and I saw a coyote"
Modern Family - "New Year's Eve": Apparently a lot of people didn't like this episode, but I thought it was great. Except for the Phil and Claire parts, because...really?Rating: 4 grapes
Top Chef - "Battle Before the War": I think we can state with some confidence that Kristen and Brooke will be two of the chefs in the finals. Maybe we'll finally get another female winner? Kristen has the edge; I don't think she's ever been in the bottom three. Also, I adore her, so I'd be thrilled if she won. Rating: 4 cheers for Sheldon, too, since I like him and was waiting for him to make a big splash
The Big Bang Theory - "The Bakersfield Expedition": I giggled through this whole episode. Man, I love this show. Rating: 5 Thor comic books
Grey's Anatomy - "Things We Said Today": This episode went exactly the opposite of the way I expected: Adele didn't make it, and Bailey and Ben got married. It also made me like Leah and Jo a little. I do appreciate that every once in a while, someone on this show is allowed to be happy. And if Bailey hadn't married Ben, I would've thrown something at the TV, because who wouldn't want to marry Ben? Rating: 4 mac-and-cheese cupcakes
January 19th, 2013, 2:47 p.m. - Bite me, Josie
How I Met Your Mother - "Band or DJ": If you don't think Ray Wise in a Hawaiian shirt is funny, there's no hope for you. Rating: 3 trips to Pizzazzy's
Modern Family - "Party Crasher": I usually roll my eyes at slapstick, but slapstick with a five-year-old is pretty great. Actually, most of this episode was pretty great. I like that they didn't do a big, over-the-top sitcom episode about the baby being born; those have been done to death. And everyone had a good plot this week. Rating: 5 eyepatches
Top Chef - "Restaurant Wars": BOOOOOOO! I guess Brooke's going to win this now. Unless Kristen wins "Last Chance Kitchen" until she gets to come back, and then wins anyway. But that means she'd have to beat C.J. Now I'm torn! Rating: 3 horrible bouillabaisses
Grey's Anatomy - "The End Is the Beginning Is the End": Nice twist at the end. Dang, and right when everyone was happy. This is why no one on this show is allowed to be happy! It never lasts! Rating: 3 glasses of champagne Meredith can't drink
January 20th, 2013, 11:27 a.m. - If your estranged father asks you to explore an abandoned town with him, SAY NO
3. Abandon (Blake Crouch)
Up next: Monkey Mind (Daniel Smith)
January 23rd, 2013, 8:11 p.m. - I guess the monkey is my new spirit animal
4. Monkey Mind (Daniel Smith)
Up next: Under the Banner of Heaven (Jon Krakauer)
January 26th, 2013, 1:44 p.m. - "Does someone need a whambulance?" "Waa waa waa waa"
How I Met Your Mother - "Ring Up": The show has done the ring thing before, but everything else was pretty good. Now that I'm 30, I kind of get how Ted feels about hanging out with 20-somethings. Rating: 3 leather cuffs
Modern Family - "Fulgencio": Some of the jokes in this episode (specifically the ones targeted at Gloria's sister) were...uncomfortable. But Lily's snark and the Godfather stuff cracked me up. I'm easy, okay? Rating: 4 stuffed zebra heads
Top Chef - "Wolfgang Clucks": How drunk were the judges during the elimination challenge? I wonder if that's why there was a gap between the meal and judging. Or maybe they wanted to make Josie squirm more. Seriously, SO GLAD she's gone. Long live Kristen! Rating: 4 wings there weren't enough of
Grey's Anatomy - "Walking on a Dream": Solution: Shut down any program, and have the lawsuit-winners chip in to resurrect it. Now can we please talk about how much Justins Chambers and Bruening look alike? Rating: 3 scalpels in the foot
This started off well, and I liked the story, but then it all fell apart. Gudenkauf clearly didn't put any work into finding out what would actually happen during a school lockdown or a police emergency. The writing is sloppy, and the editing is ridiculous – tenses change in the middle of a sentence. And speaking of tense changes, why do different narrators speak in different tenses? It's distracting. The story itself was fine; it just wasn't written well.
Once again, this started off well, but then I started hating all the characters and grumbling about Shipstead's too-obvious metaphors. Also, a whale explodes. A whale! Explodes! In a story about a wedding! Good writing, bad story.
This is the book I should have read at Halloween, when I was looking for something really creepy. It has everything (cue Stefon voice): people having all their limbs amputated, killer kids, people having their tongues cut out, people getting locked in mines, psychotic preachers....
I don't think most people have a clear idea of how debilitating anxiety can be. This book should help with that. It's part memoir, part psychological text, and though it dragged in bits, I could really connect with it and with Smith. He's brave to be so open with his experiences.