July, 2009
July 1st, 2009, 11:26 p.m. - How's that crow taste, Mia?
July 2nd, 2009, 5:53 p.m. - That's how you write suspense
22. The Last Child (John Hart)
Please read The Last Child to find out how to improve your craft. You might also pick up some tips on pacing and how to deliver an effective red herring.
Up next: Beautiful Lies (Lisa Unger)
Also, I'm participating in Infinite Summer, so if there's a big gap between when I start a book and when I finish it, that's why. David Foster Wallace is holding me hostage and I have Stockholm Syndrome.
11:10 p.m. - More ballet! I demand more ballet!
So You Think You Can Dance - Top 14 perform and two go home: I usually hate it when people on reality shows say, "This is the best season ever," or, "This is the most talented group we've ever had on the show," because usually it's an exaggeration. But this season? Yeah, I think this is the most talented group they've ever had on the show. I liked almost every routine this week, and the two I didn't like as much as the others were still great. I hope the dancers auditioning for the fall season bring it. I don't want to be disappointed after such a wonderful summer. And we're not even to the top ten yet! Rating: 5 giant picture frames
No Harper's Island this week. Booooo!
July 3rd, 2009, 5:12 p.m. - Yeah, I'm sure Kayla was really in danger there
"This May Not Last But This is Now"
July 7th, 2009, 5:06 p.m. - This season's theme sounds like such a bad idea
5:24 p.m. - I am suitably ashamed of myself
23. Beautiful Lies (Lisa Unger)
Up next: Relentless (Dean Koontz), which I'm sure will be Shakespeare compared to Beautiful Lies
July 8th, 2009, 11:52 p.m. - I hate it when the couples get split up
July 9th, 2009, 11:43 p.m. - Called it!
July 11th, 2009, 11:16 p.m. - It's official: nice guys are really serial killers obsessed with their sisters
So You Think You Can Dance - Top 12 perform and two go home: Other than Jason, who I think still hasn't quite performed on the same level as the others, I really like this top ten. I don't think there's anyone from the season who I think should be there over anyone who made it. I'm sad to see the couples split up (Ade & Melissa and Brandon & Janette were so wonderful together), but I'm glad that Jeanine will get the chance to partner with a stronger dancer and Brandon and Kayla could possibly be paired up and blow everyone away. Rating: 4 briefcases
Big Brother - Week 1: Of all the people who could return to the house, Jessie was almost at the bottom of my list. So of course he's the one who came back. If that's a sign of things to come this season, I may not end up watching much longer. Rating: 2 cliques I wouldn't want to hang out with
Harper's Island - "Gasp"/"Sigh": Well, I called Henry being Wakefield's son, but I definitely didn't call the other part. And I have to admit, it was kind of a letdown, maybe because Henry was one of the more likely suspects, just by virtue of being a main character. Sully or Shea being the accomplice would have been a bigger twist. (Poor Shea never got to do anything, but at least she lived.) I also feel like they didn't answer all the questions. I mean, how did Wakefield survive after the sheriff supposedly killed him? Why did he kill so many people in the first rampage when he just wanted Sarah dead? Did Henry kill his adoptive parents? Why didn't Henry just kill Jimmy and fake his confession? How many more times can I use the word "kill" before I just move on? At least I can answer that one: zero. Rating: 4 letter spikes
July 15th, 2009, 3:22 p.m. - Can cats teleport, too? Because that would explain a lot
24. Relentless (Dean Koontz)
I think I may like the way Koontz writes couples (and families in general) even more than Stephen King does. Cubby, Penny, and Milo are his most appealing couple yet, and the Booms deserve their own book. Or maybe we can just get a book with Milo and Lassie solving crimes together. That would be fun.
Up next: The Abortionist's Daughter (Elisabeth Hyde)
10:44 p.m. - I want to know whose idea that wig was
July 16th, 2009, 10:58 p.m. - Seriously, the pick has its own shirt!
July 17th, 2009, 4:36 p.m. - Who knew Jeanine and Jason would make it so far?
Big Brother - Week 2: Dear CBS, please stop casting bigots and then pretending you didn't. Those of us who follow the live feeds know exactly what Braden said about Kevin and what Jeff said about Russell. Both are ignorant idiots. Why are you acting like they aren't? Censoring Chima makes her look dumb and makes the unaware audience wonder what's going on. Those of us who follow those behind-the-scene features you so heavily advertise know the real story. Mainly that, once again, your crack casting people dropped the ball. The audience is smarter than you think. And also smarter than you. Rating: 3 pipes with angles Jordan doesn't understand
So You Think You Can Dance - Top ten perform and two go home: Once again, almost all of the performances this week were great and the right people went home (though I wouldn't have been too upset if Evan had gone over Kupono). I'm impressed with how much they were able to squeeze into two hours. I counted and there were 17 performances on Wednesday night alone. I'd much rather see the dancers perform more than one routine than get bored by all the padding around the performances. This is a dance show, after all. Why not see how much dancing you can fit in there? Rating: 4 heart-shaped lockets
July 20th, 2009, 5:40 p.m. - But...where's the climax?
25. The Abortionist's Daughter (Elisabeth Hyde)
Up next: Undone (Karin Slaughter)
July 22nd, 2009, 10:54 p.m. - Seriously, I don't want anyone to leave
July 23rd, 2009, 10:25 p.m. - Dear everyone on SYTYCD: the 100th episode doesn't mean the show is turning 100. Please learn math
Big Brother - Week 3: Hey, look! It's actual strategy and game play! There's even more of it evident on the live feeds; the show barely showed the tip of the iceberg. Things are going to get really interesting. Everyone's still pretty annoying, though. Michele, Casey, and Kevin might be the only normal people in that house. Though Jordan's at least entertaining. Rating: 4 quarters in an hour, Jordan
So You Think You Can Dance - Top eight perform and two go home: Nigel's right, the performances this week weren't all that spectacular. And I still don't get why Katie Holmes performed. I mean, I get it, I just...don't get it. Why couldn't some of the other former contestants perform instead? We barely got to see them. They were supposed to be celebrating the show, not Tom Cruise's wife. No offense to her or anything. I was a fan of pre-Tom Katie. It's just weird. And I'm bitter about Janette and Jason leaving. Though at this point, I'll be bitter about anyone leaving because these guys are just so darn good. Rating: 3 adorable victory dances over Kayla's "dead body"
July 24th, 2009, 12:09 p.m. - Jason was my little puppy dog, too!
"Come On, Get Happy (Then Sad)"
July 28th, 2009, 4:17 p.m. - Well, her last name is Slaughter
26. Undone (Karin Slaughter)
That said, Slaughter is terrific at pacing and throwing clues into the story for the reader to pick up on. She also manages to end almost every chapter with either a twist or a development so that you want to keep reading. I liked the way she combined her Grant County characters (well, just Sara, really) with Faith and Will; some authors' crossovers are just a little too convenient, but this one worked and I could easily see another crossover working out in the future as well. Slaughter just needs to get rid of Angie.
Oh, and no Lena! Huge bonus.
Up next: Columbine (Dave Cullen)
July 29th, 2009, 11:14 p.m. - Holy cow, you guys, tomorrow they set the final four!
"Get Me to the Finals On Time"
July 30th, 2009, 10:38 p.m. - Grrrr, America. Darn you and such
"Losing My Timing This Late in My Career"
July 31st, 2009, 3:43 p.m. - That's it, America, you're not allowed to make decisions anymore
Big Brother - Week 4: Honestly, I didn't want Casey or Jordan to go home. He was funny and she's entertaining. But of the two, Casey was the better choice to send home, since he's more of a strategic threat to the people who are currently running the game. In the long run, though, Jordan is the bigger threat - she has yet to truly tick anyone off and it would be hard to beat her in front of the jury. It's fine to keep her around now because she's not exactly a physical threat, but sooner or later, the others would be smart to jettison her. Which means they probably won't. Congratulations, Jordan, you may have already won! I'm interested to see how the coup d'etat twist plays out, and I hope it goes to either Jordan or Kevin, as anyone else would probably use it personally rather than strategically. Also, Kevin needs something to do. He's another to watch out for, though; he could easily win in front of the jury. See, I'm already thinking more strategically than anyone in that house. Rating: 4 banana costumes
So You Think You Can Dance - Top six perform and two go home: Are you kidding me, America? Evan over Ade? What's wrong with you people? I...have no words. Rating: 3 giant boxes
Dear suspense novelists whose books deliver neither thrills nor chills,
I picked this up because I thought Unger's most recent book sounded interesting and I wanted to read her earlier stuff first. The plot of Beautiful Lies was interesting, and it was paced pretty well and featured some interesting characters, but as I kept reading, I got more and more frustrated with Unger's narrative techniques and writing style. I almost feel embarrassed that I read the whole thing. I usually won't put up with something written so poorly. But honestly, I did want to find out what happened. And now I will promptly forget all about it and move on.
Relentless might have the least amount of supernatural stuff out of all of Koontz's books, and most of it doesn't even show up until the end. It just goes to show that Koontz can write an engaging thriller without anything magical or unexplainable. (Also, he doesn't even try to explain those unexplainable pieces, which I appreciate, though I would have liked a glimpse into the bad guys' background.)
Seriously, there's no climax. It just ends. After getting away with murder for the whole book, the killer confesses. Hello?? What kind of ending is that?
I always like Slaughter's books and find her very underrated, and for the most part I liked this one, but I did have a few problems with it. For one, it's pretty gruesome. Usually I can overlook that sort of thing, but Undone was almost needlessly violent. My other, much bigger problem was in Will and Angie's one scene together. The things that transpire seem out of character for Will and didn't endear me to him at all. Isn't he supposed to be a hero? Maybe Slaughter saw the scene differently than I did, but I lost a lot of respect for him.