March, 2005
March 1st, 2005, 12:19 p.m. - "She's Just, She's Just Tara from the Block"
Yeah, sorry about the Jennifer Lopez reference.
March 4th, 2005, 12:18 a.m. - I want hazard pay
"Take a Picture, It'll Last Longer - send help.
"I Married a Psycho" - seriously. I don't know how much longer I can put up with these shows.
March 6th, 2005, 12:12 a.m. - "Sheep to the Slaughterhouse"
1:02 p.m. - "Wickedly Crappy" was right
11:36 p.m. - Aaaaaaand two more
March 9th, 2005, 5:50 p.m. - Yoink!
I'm bored.
1. Grab the book nearest to you, or the one you are reading, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says. "a big disappointment." Hee! (Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott)
I feel like such a live journaler. (LOL)
March 11th, 2005, 12:03 a.m. - Just 3 more episodes...
"Catch of the Day" - hee, what's funny is that someone else added, "Yeah, that's it" to the description.
March 13th, 2005, 5:19 p.m. - "A Kiss on the Hand"
Yeah, nothing too thrilling this week.
March 15th, 2005, 5:48 p.m. - Whether you care or not
I was bored and made my friends do this, so here's mine:
FULL NAME: Jennifer Michelle Brasler
7:45 p.m. - "Tana in the Hizzy"
March 18th, 2005, 12:01 a.m. - Still linking to these, for some reason
12:44 p.m. - Here we go...
Wow, I'm boring. If I'm going to write about anything, it might as well be what I know best: pop culture. If this turns into a pop culture blog, my apologies and thanks to Kim.
I'm not sure why, but I'll start with Ms. (well, I guess it's Mrs. now) Pop Culture herself, Britney Spears. According to The Washington Post, she recently said this in Allure about being a stepmother: "It's this reality. Like omigod, I have to tell the maid to buy diapers and get the pool boy to walk the dog? Can't I just make out with Kevin all the time? Being married sucks." For the sake of my brain, I hope she's kidding. Or that she was drastically misquoted. Or that it's an early April Fool's joke.
Speaking of bad quotes, here's one from Fox News host John Gibson, who I've never heard of and hope to never hear from again: "Gays can't have kids - other than going to the abandoned kids' store and getting one or two, or borrowing sperm from someone with more sperm than brains - so by definition they're out of the marriage game." Wait...he really thinks that marriage = kids? Is he high? What about people with infertility problems? Or who just don't want kids at all? Also, has he ever heard of surrogacy or, I don't know, ADOPTION? Shut up, John Gibson. If I ever quote him again, please hit me with something very hard. Like Gibson's head. Also, when using the phrase "someone with more sperm than brains," you're really setting yourself up there.
You can "buy" share in metroblogs! This is awesome.
I find it hilarious that the name of Kim Cattrall's mean figure-skating character in Ice Princess is Tina Harwood. Yeah, that sounds nothing like Tonya Harding. Good job, screenwriter.
Finally: Lil' Kim can't go to jail. What will the Fug Girls do? They have an entire section devoted to her!
7:06 p.m. - Waaaaaaa!
I have this weird obsession with celebrity baby names. And now that the Fametracker forums are closed, I have no place to complain about or compliment them. So...why not here? Recent additions:
Eric Clapton and his wife Melia finally named their daughter (born February 1st) Sophie. I like the name Sophie, but it's starting to get overused.
Edie Falco adopted a boy named Anderson. I'll give that a thumbs up.
Molly Shannon had a son named Nolan Shannon Chesnut. Interesting, not overused, and a real name, at least.
March 22nd, 2005, 2:19 p.m. - Meow
At 5:40 this morning, I heard a thunk and a rip from outside my door. I knew automatically that my cat was ripping a hole in her cat food bag for an early breakfast. She may be smart, but...that was kind of annoying.
Bradley Cooper (aka Will from Alias) is going to star in a new FOX show called Kitchen Confidential, in which he'll play a chef. One of his co-stars will be Nicholas Brendan (aka Xander from Buffy). That's two reasons right there to watch it.
It's time, boys and girls, to talk about The Pretender. The first season is finally coming out on DVD, and not a moment too soon. The Pretender was a show that ran on NBC from 1996-2000 (and then there were a couple of TV movies that weren't that great and didn't actually answer any questions). The show was about a guy named Jarod (Michael T. Weiss) who was taken from his family as a child and raised by an organization called The Centre, which was based in the evil state of...Delaware. (Cue scary music.) Jarod was trained to do various things and basically used as an experiment for The Centre for years. He was cut off from most of the rest of the world, and his only friends as a child where an empath named Angelo (Paul Dillon) and Miss Parker (Andrea Parker), the daughter of the head of The Centre, Mr. Parker (Harve Presnell). His main teacher was Sydney (Patrick Bauchau), who became something of a father figure to him.
When he was an adult, Jarod realized that The Centre was evil and escaped. He used his skills to take on different personas, mostly to help people and to stay away from his pursuers Mr. Parker, Dr. Raines (William Marcus), Mr. Lyle (Jamie Denton; Mr. Parker's son), and his childhood friend Miss Parker. (Broots, played by Jon Gries, tried to help, but he was more of a proto-Marshall from Alias than anything else.) Along the way, Jarod tried to reconnect with his family and Miss Parker tried to find out what really happened to her late mother Catherine. There were "pretends" and flashbacks and a little bit of sex and a Jarod clone and Mr. Lyle's missing thumb and Mr. Parker's creepy wife Brigitte and the revelation that Jarod and Miss Parker had a common half brother and a really hot guy named Thomas who gave Miss Parker some humanity and then wound up dead, which was the saddest thing ever. And I really miss the show and need to get the DVDs and start watching the reruns.
5:10 p.m. - Coincidence
Speaking of Jamie Denton, who I mentioned earlier and who now stars in Desperate Housewives and goes by James Denton, his wife just had their second child this morning. Her name is Malin O'Brien Denton. I'm not so sure about that Malin - it smacks of cuteness. But what should we expect from a couple whose first child is named Sheppard?
6:47 p.m. - "Meat Market"
March 23rd, 2005, 12:27 a.m. - "Whatever Floats Your Boat"
I got to recap The Amazing Race!
4:56 p.m. - Sheesh
Everyone who reads my Amazing Race stuff on RNO - lighten up! You guys stress out about the slightest things. Someone got mad because Rob and Amber's names weren't bolded at the beginning of the article I linked to earlier. That's not even my fault! And I like them! I never said I didn't! People are freaking out over nothing.
March 24th, 2005, 12:51 p.m. - Notes on a "scandal"
First of all, people need to stop calling the Americal Idol phone number snafu a "scandal." It would've been a scandal if we learned that Ryan Seacrest were sleeping with the PA who put up the wrong numbers, because they wanted to get someone eliminated. This was a screw-up by someone who wasn't paying attention, Anyway, Executive Producer Ken Warwick said in an interview, "Why would we contaminate the honesty of the top-rated show in America by fiddling with it?" Oh, yeah, you guys are the epitome of integrity. "Honesty," please. I've been watching reality TV since Richard Hatch. It's not all real. Don't pretend we don't know that.
4:30 p.m. - Bleh
Boys are dumb.
9:29 p.m. - Almost done
March 25th, 2005, 2:41 p.m. - Happiness
Happy Good Friday! And Happy Birthday, Cara!
March 27th, 2005, 11:13 p.m. - Incongruity
Happy Easter!
On a completely unrelated note: "The Boardroom Boogie"
March 28th, 2005, 8:58 p.m. - "Everybody's Talking at Me"
Let's count how many people need to shut up....
March 29th, 2005, 12:39 a.m. - 1, 2, 3
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much I care about...
• Prince Charles marrying Camilla Parker Bowles - 2 (and only that much because the wedding photos might include Prince William)
On that note, an RNO reader named Pete and I have come up with a drinking game for The Apprentice, which we hope culminates in Chris being fired:
TAKE ONE DRINK EVERY TIME:
TAKE TWO DRINKS EVERY TIME:
TAKE THREE DRINKS EVERY TIME:
TAKE FOUR DRINKS EVERY TIME:
TAKE FIVE DRINKS IF:
March 30th, 2005, 1:00 p.m. - Spring into...something
I'm wearing flip-flops. It's officially spring.
March 31st, 2005, 10:02 p.m. - Boo
"The World is Watching" - goodbye, Ashlee Simpson!
"Sorry for the Clip Show" - goodbye, other Simpson!
And Chris didn't lose it on The Apprentice tonight. Grrrrr.
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? Air. There's nothing there
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? I'm watching an episode of Angel, "Hellbound" (bleh)
4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is. 5:54 p.m.
5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time? 5:54 p.m. (Well, I looked a minute before it said not to!)
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? The TV
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? About 2 hours ago, to get the mail
8. Before you came to this web site, what did you look at? My e-mail
9. What are you wearing? Jeans and a gray shirt
10. Did you dream last night? I think so, but I don't remember what I dreamed about
11. When did you last laugh? About half an hour ago, the last time someone said something funny in "Hellbound"
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? A calendar, and not much else
13. Seen anything weird lately? I saw some weird-acting cats the other day
14. What do you think of this quiz? It's killing some time
15. What is the last film you saw? The Forgotten
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? I wouldn't buy anything - I'd save it all so I never have to get a job
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know. I have nerve damage in my chin
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Make really rich people give some of their money away
19. Do you like to dance? I don't really get much of an opportunity to dance
20. George Bush. Next!
21. Imagine your first child is a girl - what do you call her? Emily or Anna
22. Imagine your first child is a boy - what do you call him? Matthew or Joshua
BIRTHDAY: May 10th, 1982
NAMES/AGES OF SIBLINGS: Paul (34), Kevin (32), and Greg (29). I also have two sisters-in-law, Claire and Rita.
HOW WELL DO YOU GET ALONG WITH THEM? Pretty well, considering that we weren't raised together and we don't see each other very often. Rita's cool, too, and Claire cracks me up.
FAVORITE MOVIE: Ocean's 11
FAVORITE BOOK: She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb
FAVORITE TV SHOW(S): Since Buffy's over, Arrested Development, Alias, Veronica Mars, and The Amazing Race.
FAVORITE SONG: "Goodbye to You" (Michelle Branch)
FAVORITE WEBSITE: Television Without Pity
LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN THE THEATER: Garden State (I don't go to the movies a lot)
LAST MOVIE YOU SAW ON DVD/VIDEO/TV: Cellular
BOOK YOU'RE CURRENTLY READING: All Families are Psychotic by Douglas Coupland
GUILTY PLEASURE: South Park
MAJOR IN COLLEGE: English Writing
MINOR IN COLLEGE: Psychology
FAVORITE COLLEGE CLASS(ES): Reading Seminar, Abnormal Psychology, a poetry/drama writing course, and a writing seminar.
FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MEMORY(IES): The beach trip right after graduation, Ellen and Kirsten's murder mystery party, and TA (aka homeroom) with most of my friends.
FAVORITE COLLEGE MEMORY(IES): 1) Freshman year, at least until one of my roommates kind of went psycho. 2) My suitemate Sharon killing a bee in the bathroom with Scrubbing Bubbles, then leaving it there. 3) Calling random peoples' voicemail and leaving a message of a stuffed duck quacking. 4) Playing Mafia until 3 in the morning. 5) Eating lunch with the same cool people every MWF.
ARE YOU A VIRGIN? Yep
IF NOT, WHERE'S THE WEIRDEST PLACE YOU'VE HAD SEX? I'm aiming for Intercourse, PA.
PET PEEVE(S): Bad drivers, bad grammar, and people who are condescending.
WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL JOB? Bestselling novelist
TOMATOES - YAY OR NAY? Nay
BROCCOLI - YAY OR NAY? Yay
APPLES OR ORANGES? Apples
CHICKEN OR BEEF? Chicken
DOGS OR CATS? I have a cat, but either
CITY OR COUNTRY? I'd like to live in a really small town or a quiet rural area.
FLY OR DRIVE? Drive; flying makes me nervous
DO YOU WANT KIDS SOMEDAY? IF SO, HOW MANY? 2 or 3 would be nice
WHAT WOULD YOU NAME THE BOYS? Matthew (Matt) or Joshua (Josh)
WHAT WOULD YOU NAME THE GIRLS? Anna, Emily, or Abigail (Abby)
• The last season of The Amazing Race - 3
• This season of The Amazing Race - 7
• This season of American Idol - 5
• Britney Spears' possible pregnancy - 4 (and only that much because I have a feeling she's going to give her kids really weird names)
• Sin City - 9 (I never thought I would, either!)
• The Apprentice's Chris totally losing it and possibly even trying to kill someone - 15
• Carolyn rolls her eyes at Chris
• George questions Chris
• Trump asks about Chris' tobacco habit
• Chris explodes
• Carolyn questions Chris
• George loses his temper
• Trump loses his temper
• Carolyn loses her temper
• Alex does not survive Chris' wrath this week