March, 2009
March 1st, 2009, 9:51 p.m. - The picture is actually my favorite part
March 3rd, 2009, 7:37 p.m. - Detour! Detour!
I'm taking a small break from Cutting for Stone to read Jodi Picoult's newest, Handle With Care, beacuse a) I've been waiting for it for months, and b) because Cutting for Stone is freaking long and otherwise I may never get to the Picoult.
11:12 p.m. - Ha ha, Ryan, Scott pwned you
"On This Show We Do Not Allow Democracy"
5:13 p.m. - "Do they not have the Internet in Indiana?"
The Amazing Race - "I'm Not Wearing That Girl's Leotard!": It's a good sign that even after a likable team is eliminated, there are still plenty of likable people left to root for. Also, I can't help eagerly awaiting Victor's inevitable comeuppance. Rating: 4 coffins
How I Met Your Mother - "The Stinsons": Wackier than this show usually goes, but well done. That was a waste of Francis Conroy, though. I hope they bring her back in the future, especially if it means a continuation of the running joke that Barney thinks Bob Barker is his father. Rating: 4 rules of acting
American Idol - Semifinal performances and results, part 3, and wildcard round: I kind of saw the twist coming, since I'd read about something surprising happening and because I just didn't think they would pick Jasmine over Anoop, especially after how much the judges saw the audience likes Anoop. Other than Michael, who just doesn't seem as solid as the others, I think this is a good top 13. There's quite a bit of diversity and some great personalities there. And no crazies! Uh, as far as I know. Rating: 4 melodramatic Tatiana meltdowns
America's Next Top Model - "What Happens in Vegas"/"Fun and Games": This cycle is going to be AWESOME. And that's even without the girl with the pen collection. My early favorites are Fo, Kortnie, and Nijah (Isabella would be on that list, too, if she were still around), and though I cringe half the time she's on screen, Allison is probably the most entertaining out of everyone there. I just hope Sandra gets cut in the next couple of weeks before I start throwing things at the TV whenever she's on.
Like last cycle, here's my Top Model Math:
Rating: 5 double-dutch ropes that one girl couldn't be bothered to turn
Lost - "LaFleur": I love Juliet and Sawyer together, so I'm dreading the inevitable breakup. Why in the world would he want to be with Kate over Juliet anyway? I also like the way Sawyer has gone from grumpy outsider to sympathetic, romantic leader. Maybe it's all the free love in the '70s. I have to wonder, since I'm sure it'll come up eventually: who does Horace and Amy's baby grow up to be? Rating: 5 giant statues
Survivor - "The Strongest Man Alive": Hey, Brendan? Yeah, hi. When you're trying to get a super-top-secret alliance together, you might want to, you know, actually get the alliance together. That requires talking to the person you want to recruit and telling him or her what the plan is. Just a little piece of advice for you there.
Other than that stupidity, this was a pretty solid episode. Not least because there was very little Coach. I think my scores for episodes increase in proportion to how much Coach is in them. Rating: 4 bags of beans
The Office - "Blood Drive": Ehhhh. There were some good parts, but overall, pretty bland. It didn't hurt that it aired almost a month after Valentine's Day, which was the focus of the entire episode. I actually didn't mind Michael for once, but I'll never understand why women keep falling for him. And I completely called what was going on with Phyllis and Bob Vance (who are adorable, by the way), so I don't get why Pam and Jim were so clueless about it. Rating: 3 gloves
March 8th, 2009, 11:01 p.m. - Seriously? The Cherry Orchard? Anyone?
Feel the Rhythm! Feel the Rhyme! Get on Up, It's Bobsled Time!
March 11th, 2009, 8:55 a.m. - The A's have it
7:37 p.m. - Oh, where to begin?
7. Handle With Care (Jodi Picoult)
My big problem is the ending. I hated it. I hated it as much as I hated the ending of My Sister's Keeper, which Picoult recently said she loved and is therefore upset about it being changed in the upcoming movie version. The ending renders the entire book moot. I just read through 477 pages for nothing, is how I feel. Why make me care about a character and then end things that way? It's a slap in the face to the reader. I'm sick of her ending her books like this. I feel like I put all this effort into something that wasn't rewarding.
Also, Charlotte needs to shut up before I shut her up.
Up next: Life Sentences (Laura Lippman)
March 12th, 2009, 11:10 p.m. - If only Michael really were trapped in an oil painting
The Amazing Race - "It Was Like a Caravan of Idiots": I might actually be sad about Kris and Amanda getting eliminated if we'd seen more than five minutes of them this season and gotten any sort of sense of their personalities. Seriously, I don't think I'll even remember them by the end of the season. They didn't even get 15 minutes of fame. Actually, the whole episode was kind of unmemorable. It will probably go down as The One Where No One Knew Who Chekhov Is. Rating: 3 bobsleds
House - "The Social Contract": I have to hand it to the actor who played the patient of the week - he nailed the House-like behavior without being annoying. He also played the character without making him too much like House. Other than that, though, it was pretty standard fare for the season, which is disappointingly substandard for the series as a whole. I miss last season. I really want to meet Wilson's brother sometime, though. Rating: 3 tumors
How I Met Your Mother - "Sorry, Bro": I liked the narrative structure of this episode, which was a little different from most episodes. Karen was SO ANNOYING, though. She kind of just serves to reinforce my dislike for Ted. Even the B plot wasn't that great. Barney oversold it. Rating: 3 pairs of pants
American Idol - Top 13 performances and results: Yay for getting rid of dead weight right away! I was kind of pleasantly surprised at how the performances went overall, though. This group is shaping up to be great. There are a number of singers I keep looking forward to, which is the way it should be. Rating: 4 truly horrible performances by Kanye West. Seriously, my ears are still bleeding
America's Next Top Model - "Do You Light the Way I Look?": I liked both the challenge and the photo shoot this week. Not only did the girls have to prove that they can use makeup and lighting, they also had to basically sell makeup to strangers, which is part of a model's job (especially one working for Cover Girl). And of course, makeover episodes are always fun. Though Natalie should have been eliminated just for her hissy fit. She bugs me. Rating: 5 mascara wands
Survivor - "You're Going to Want That Tooth": Ewwww. Jeff Probst, don't touch other people's teeth. That's gross. I'm glad Taj didn't get voted out; there aren't many people around who I truly like, and she's one of them (though if she throws another fit, that's going to change very quickly). I'm looking forward to what the secret alliance can do, but they'd better stay on top of things and figure out that they're not as secretive as they thought. Rating: 4 letters from home
The Office - "Golden Ticket": Why hasn't someone smacked Michael earlier? That would make things a whole lot better. Rating: 3 top hats
Grey's Anatomy - "I Will Follow You Into the Dark": Called it! Love how after we've put up with Derek being annoying all season, we're rewarded with him being even more annoying. Smack him upside the head, Meredith. And maybe take a swing at Bailey, too, because how stupid was that? It was completely out of character for her to go whining to Adele. No professional woman would do that, and Bailey is usually the most professional of all professionals. I hate it when the writers make characters do things they would never do in a million years. Rating: 3 pacemakers
March 15th, 2009, 10:21 p.m. - Half! Naked! Phil!
March 17th, 2009, 10:47 p.m. - You had me, then you lost me
8. Life Sentences (Laura Lippman)
Up next: The Unlikely Disciple (Kevin Roose)
10:51 p.m. - Okay, not really, but just go with the title
March 19th, 2009, 10:58 p.m. - I, for one, welcome a Michael-less Office
The Amazing Race - "She's a Little Scared of Stick, But I Think She'll Be OK!": HALF-NAKED PHIL! Ahem. Sorry. I'll move on. The leg was a little bland compared to the previous episodes, but this is still a great season with a lot of terrific moments. And that's even without the partial nudity. Some of these people really need to learn the meaning of the word "race," though. I'm looking at you, Luke, Margie, Cara, and Jaime. Rating: 4 Russian brides who should have hired limos
House - "Here Kitty": I actually liked this episode! Like, a lot! I know! I love Judy Greer, so the second she showed up, the episode was already looking up. But I also loved that a) the cat turned out just to be a normal cat, b) House solved the mystery in a different way (in other words, he wasn't having a conversation with Wilson when he stumbled across the answer), and c) there was no scene where House has to rush to cancel the patient's now-unnecessary surgery, since...he forgot. I laughed out loud at that. I'm worried about where the Taub storyline is going, though. I've heard rumors that someone may be leaving by the end of the season, and I suspect he might commit suicide. I hope not - he's one of my favorite characters on the show. But in case I turn out to be right, I want it documented here. Hey, I was right about Derek quitting on Grey's Anatomy; I might be on a hot streak. Rating: 5 litter boxes
How I Met Your Mother - "The Front Porch": I have to admit, I'm a sucker for a good sight gag, so I liked the running joke of Robin doing stuff on the muted TV in the background. The rest of the episode was just okay. Ted doesn't interest me that much, as I've said before, so I don't get very invested in his storylines. I'm just glad to see Karen gone. Rating: 3 nightgowns
American Idol - Top 11 performances and results: Stupid America! What's wrong with you? Rating: 3 pianos
America's Next Top Model - "New York's Finest": Gee, who would have expected the boring, unmemorable girl to be eliminated over the weird one? I liked Nijah, but yeah, she didn't stand out and was just coasting. Allison is much more interesting. I liked the photo shoot; they always make such a big deal out of the city where the cycle takes place, but they never really take advantage of it. I mean, they could do the show pretty much anywhere. This is one of the first times we've been reminded of where the models are and that they've taken advantage of it. Rating: 3 imaginary cameras instead of the real prop ones (Natalie's a genius, isn't she?)
Lost - "Namaste": Lost has officially returned to its glory days. This episode didn't have any huge reveals or important plot points (I mean, interesting and important stuff happened, but nothing earth-shattering), but it was still terrific. How many other shows are intriguing when they're not advancing the story all that much? I really like the reversal of Sawyer being a leader and Jack having to take orders. I also like that Frank got to come back; I think he's a great character. Apparently we're supposed to get comfy in 1977, as the show is going to stay there for a while, and I'm perfectly fine with that. Though I bet the Life on Mars writers are really bitter right now. Rating: 5 oars
The Office - "New Boss": Holy cow, that was bad. If only we could get the promise that Michael is gone for good. If I worked for that man, I would actually be in prison right now because I would have MURDERED HIM. Seriously, how could anyone put up with working for him for more than two minutes? That's where I think the show is really struggling - stop making Michael a cartoon character, because no one is going to like him anymore, and if no one likes your show's main character, you have a problem. That's poor writing. On the other hand, I appreciate the addition of Charles because someone needed to smack Michael down. I have a feeling that Charles and Toby would have a lot to talk about. By the way, where is Toby? Rating: 2 tuxes
Grey's Anatomy - "Stand by Me": This episode was mostly pretty good, but it also felt like it was just a stepping stone for next week, which will be an hour-long Emmy reel for Katherine Heigl. Interesting that out of everyone, it was Webber who was able to get through to Derek. I didn't expect that, but I liked it. Also, Cristina is awesome, and if I ever had an illness in a fictional world, I would want her to be my fictional doctor. Rating: 4 orchids
March 22nd, 2009, 6:03 p.m. - The Semester of Living Biblically
9. The Unlikely Disciple (Kevin Roose)
Up next: Revenge of the Spellmans (Lisa Lutz)
10:48 p.m. - I'm so bad with titles
March 25th, 2009, 11:16 p.m. - And if there were something wrong with me loving Adam, I wouldn't care
"There's Nothing Wrong With Me Loving You"
March 26th, 2009, 10:59 p.m. - Oh, Celia, I'm down on my knees, I'm begging you please to shut up
The Amazing Race - "Alright [sic] Guys, We're at War": First of all, ALRIGHT IS NOT A WORD. AND THERE SHOULD BE A COMMA AFTER THE NON-WORD. Also, this episode was boring. And the fact that Mark and Michael were nearly beaten by two racers who had to do an additional task and started out way behind them is a bad sign. Rating: 3 elephants
How I Met Your Mother - "Old King Clancy": Dear show, I still don't care about Ted. That's a problem. Once again, I was bored with the A story but loved the B story. That's also a problem. One that should probably be fixed. Rating: 3 Harvey's trays
American Idol - Top 10 performances and results: I'm pretty pleased with this week altogether. My favorites did well, and Michael went home, which was pretty much right. Out of the top ten, he and Megan are the two stragglers, and one of them really needed to go. I don't get Matt being in the bottom two, though. I see America is still smoking crack. Rating: 4 falsetto notes sung by Adam
America's Next Top Model - "Put Your Best Face Forward": I was really bored by this episode until the last two minutes, when Celia went from possible contender to doomed beyond doomed in almost no time. What an idiot. She created the most awkward panel trainwreck since Tyra screamed at Tiffany in cycle 4. It's pretty impressive that after 58 minutes of Tahlia being annoying, Celia said ten words and made her look sympathetic. Rating: 3 adorable fake immigrant children
Lost - "He's Our You": Just like last week, when Sawyer and Jack switched roles by the leader becoming the follower and vice versa, this week Sayid found himself switching roles, going from the torturer to the tortured. I like that the show can tackle themes like redemption and purpose without getting cheesy or saccharine. And I think I've said this before, but I also like that even when I can tell where things are going (I guessed from the previews last week that Sawyer would try to kill Ben), that doesn't make things any less intense or suspenseful. I look forward to Lost every week, and the show has continued to impress me with how enjoyable every episode is. There hasn't been a bad one all season. Rating: 4 sandwiches
The Office - "Two Weeks": It's like Jerry Maguire without the little kid. Except Michael is a little kid, so maybe it's exactly like Jerry Maguire. Obviously everything's going to eventually go back to normal, so Michael and Pam leaving is just an interesting little detour, but at least it's something new. And finally, someone who complains about her job all the time is actually doing something about it, unlike everyone else who works at Dunder Mifflin. This episode was much better than last week's; I actually laughed out loud at a few points, namely Charles' deadpan delivery of his confirmation that he knows his effect on women, Oscar telling Creed to put 75 cents in the copier, and Jim telling Michael it's monster.com, not monsters.com. So there's that. Rating: 4 copiers
Grey's Anatomy - "Elevator Love Letter": This was one of those episodes where the writers seemed to be hitting us over head especially hard with the theme. Subtle, it was not. Fortunately, the acting saved it. I could watch Chandra Wilson do anything. She and Sandra Oh were both terrific, as usual. And kudos to Patrick Dempsey for keeping the elevator scene, which could have easily been cheesy, from entering into that territory. Rating: 4 scarves
March 28th, 2009, 3:34 p.m. - Lighten up, Henry
10. Revenge of the Spellmans (Lisa Lutz)
Up next: I'm Perfect, You're Doomed (Kyria Abrahams)
March 29th, 2009, 11:17 p.m. - Aw, MAN!
March 31st, 2009, 10:24 p.m. - Worst theme ever
Allison = Taylor Momsen
Aminat = Ambreal from cycle 9 + Stacy-Ann from cycle 10
Celia = Michelle from cycle 4
Fo = Naima from cycle 4
Isabella = Kherington Payne. They even have the same hair
Jessica = Michelle Rodriguez
Kortnie = Becky O'Donohue, that girl from a couple seasons ago of American Idol who had an identical twin and made it to the semifinals
London = Megg from cycle 7 + Amis from cycle 10 + Analeigh from cycle 11
Natalie = not sure - I'm still trying to figure out why she looks so different from her photo on the website
Nijah = Dionne from cycle 8
Sandra = Nnenna from cycle 6
Tahlia = Jurnee Smollett + Christina Schmidt + this girl I went to college with
Teyona = I don't know, but that person's in a wind tunnel, apparently
Okay, I'll be honest - I read Picoult's books as soon as they come out because she's a good storyteller and always writes about compelling topics. But more often than note, she winds up disappointing me in some way. Usually it's her overused, overwrought metaphors or the way she spreads the narrative over too many people. In Handle With Care (and seriously, can someone make her give a novel a GOOD name for once?), the former was a problem, as usual, but the latter didn't bother me as much. The stuff with Marin looking for her adoptive mother was filler, and the payoff from it was ridiculous and anticlimatic, but I liked her, so I wasn't that bothered with it. I did find Sean a little unnecessary, but Charlotte, Piper, and Amelia were all needed for the story to progress, so I'll let that slide.
After the horrible disappointments that were Hardly Knew Her and Another Thing to Fall, I was nervous that Life Sentences would be a third strike and I would wind up giving up on Lippman for good. Fortunately, it wasn't. Unfortunately, like Handle With Care, I didn't like the ending. Wait, what ending? It didn't really have one. Anyway, Life Sentences is very different from Lippman's other books; it's kind of a mystery, but not in the same way as her others. It's written much better than her more recent books, but I felt there were too many characters and some scenes that weren't really necessary. (All the stuff with Cassandra's father could have been cut - I didn't feel like it added anything.) Though it was mildly disappointing, it was nowhere near as bad as the previous two, so good for Lippman.
At the age of 19, Roose decided to leave Brown University to spend a semester at Liberty University, in the hopes of better understanding evangelical Christians his age. He went in hoping to keep a distance between himself and his classmates, but he was surprised at how difficult it was not to get swept up in the religious fervor on campus. I'd been looking forward to The Unlikely Disciple since I first heard about it a couple of months ago, and I was impressed with Roose's writing and the way he was open to new experiences. Though his beliefs haven't completely changed since his semester at Liberty, he's much more open-minded now, even viewing the late Jerry Falwell in a different way. The book is part revelation of what life at an ultraconversative school is like and part personal reflection on an experience Roose never expected to go the way it did. Having gone to a Christian school, it was really interesting for me to read about someone's experience at a religious college through much different eyes.
The Spellman books are a series that I can always rely on to be entertaining. They're not exactly high literature, but it's not like I read a lot of high literature anyway. I'd much rather read something fun. The Spellmans are definitely fun.