March, 2010
March 2nd, 2010, 11:01 p.m. - Alex isn't completely horrible! Who knew?
March 4th, 2010, 10:36 p.m. - Is Lacey being backed by Vote for the Worst or something?
"Tonight's Gonna Be a Bad Night, Actually"
March 6th, 2010, 2:48 p.m. - Trivia: the lung recipient on Grey's Anatomy was Karl on Lost
The Amazing Race - "Run Like Scalded Dogs!": I definitely prefer legs where there are a lot of possibilities for the placements to switch up. I'm glad the show seems to have gotten away from legs where there aren't a lot of chances for people to improve their rankings. Right now my only problem with the season is that some of the teams are really being overlooked. Like, stop focusing so much on Jet and Cord (as much as I like them) and let us know more about Steve and Allie, who we've barely seen. Rating: 5 wooden ponies
Desperate Housewives - "The Chase": I think I liked this episode well enough when I watched it, but now that it's been almost a week, I can't remember much about it, other than the Gaby/Bob/Lee stuff, which I loved. Oh, and Katherine suddenly being a lesbian. (Whatever.) Oh, and Andrew! I love Andrew. And now I remember the Penny stuff. That was good. Okay, fine, I remember more than I thought, but that still doesn't make the episode as a whole memorable. Rating: 3 cakes with the wrong name
How I Met Your Mother - "Hooked": I thought Carrie Underwood did really well considering this was her acting debut. And she wasn't just playing a typical sweet girl-next-door like you'd expect from her. This was the perfect role for her debut. I liked this episode a lot - some great jokes, and I loved how they kept going back to the hooked idea. Also, TEACUP PIG! Rating: 5 teacup pigs
American Idol - Top 20 perform and four go home: Thank God Crystal's okay, because that girl is all kinds of awesome. I never would have known she was so sick if they hadn't told us. Also great this week: Siobhan, Katelyn, and Lee. Those four should be in the final four. Which means at least three of them probably won't be. (Note: I'm also willing to substitute Michael or Andrew for any of those singers. And possibly Aaron, if he keeps up the good work.) If only the other singers were half as consistent. Rating: 3 crayons used by Paige before performances
Lost - "Sundown": I've always found Sayid's episodes kind of boring, for some reason, and this was no exception - at least until the last 15 or 20 minutes. Basically, when Keamy reappeared, it started getting really good. And you have to love a show that so often leaves you thinking, "What the heck just happened?" Rating: 3 really creepy renditions of "Catch a Falling Star"
Survivor - "Tonight, We Make Our Move": Aww, Cirie. But they were smart to get rid of her. Her likability is exactly what gets her far in the game, and exactly what ultimately gets her voted out before the finals. People know they can't beat her. Rating: 3 tears shed by Coach
The Office - "The Delivery": I loved the first half but not the second. The Kevin/Erin stuff bored me. I'd much rather watch Dwight and Angela be crazy. Can't wait to see where that goes. Rating: 3 iPods
Grey's Anatomy - "Perfect Little Accident": A nice, solid episode. One of those episodes where nothing huge happened, but there were a few little developments and enough good stories to make it an enjoyable episode. I really liked the revelation that Jackson is Harper Avery's grandson; I never made the connection between their last names. And now he has something in common with one of the other doctors, for the first time since he came on the show. I like him; I'd like for him to stick around. The other guy, though (Charles?), can leave whenever he feels like it. Rating: 4 pairs of hand-me-down lungs
Project Runway - "Hard Wear": Another great challenge. I love Anthony, but I think it's about time for him to go, unfortunately. I hate it when they keep putting one person in the bottom three and then keep saving that person. I had no feelings about Jesse either way, but if Anthony's overall work has been worse than Jesse's, Jesse should still be in the competition, right? Rating: 4 washers
March 7th, 2010, 10:28 p.m. - Seriously. Steve and Allie. They exist
March 9th, 2010, 10:06 p.m. - Let's just declare Crystal the winner and watch Glee for the rest of the season
"Give Me One Reason to (Let You) Stay Here"
March 11th, 2010, 10:32 p.m. - Well, half the results made sense
March 13th, 2010, 1:144 p.m. - MEGA DESK!
The Amazing Race - "We are No Longer in the Bible Belt": Michael and Louie showed this week why the race is so exciting - I never would have expected them to win a leg. The standings can change in a minute, and people who have lagged the whole season can move into the front of the pack, while people who have raced well the whole season can suddenly be in trouble. Every leg is different and offers different opportunities for failure and success. And now I'll stop before I start sounding like a lame motivational speaker. Rating: 5 boots of beer
House - "Private Lives": The A plot was pretty good, mostly because I think Laura Prepon is a good actress and was given an interesting character to play. But the B plot about Wilson...holy cow, that was hilarious. Robert Sean Leonard is a good sport. And I loved the speed-dating scenes. Kind of random, but great. Rating: 4 cars borrowed by Chase
How I Met Your Mother - "Of Course": Is it strange that I thought Carrie Underwood was better in her role than Jennifer Lopez was, when J Lo. is considered an actress and Carrie isn't? Anyone could've played J Lo.'s role. Her presence added nothing to the show. And the plot didn't add anything either. A lackluster episode, though it did have a few good moments. Rating: 3 fireworks displays
American Idol - Top 16 perform and four go home: Katelyn shouldn't have gone. Lilly shouldn't have gone. I could take or leave Todrick and Alex, so whatever, but the other two really got the short end of the stick. Stupid America. Rating: 3 binkies
Lost - "Dr. Linus": I don't get or like Ilana, so anything involving her doesn't really interest me. And the parallel between Ben having to decide between Alex and power on the island and in the sideways world was a little too thick for me. But Michael Emerson is awesome, so even a boring plot in the sideways world couldn't bring this episode down. And I'm VERY interested to see what happens with Widmore on the island. Rating: 4 graves
America's Next Top Model - "Be My Friend, Tyra!": I kind of love all the girls, in different ways. Except Anslee. Anslee can eat a bee. Rating: 4 huge mascara moles
The Office - "St. Patrick's Day": Once again, the Michael plot was bleh, but Dwight and Jim's stuff was great. And Jim won! Twice! Pretty cool. Rating: 4 MEGA DESKS!
Grey's Anatomy - "Push": Webber calling Owen "Ginger" made me laugh way harder than it should have. I'm not proud. Unfortunately, the rest of the episode was pretty forgettable. I like Ben, though, and I hope it's not mean of me to hope that the pilot Jason George is signed on for fails so he can stay on the show. Plus, HOT! Rating: 3 condoms Bailey won't steal
Project Runway - "The Elements of Fashion": Hey, a guy I kept forgetting was on the show was eliminated! How...sad? Rating: 3 bowls of fake hair that made me question Amy's sanity
March 15th, 2010, 8:43 a.m. - I feel your pain, caption guys
March 16th, 2010, 11:24 p.m. - The only way Aaron could have interested me tonight was if he'd sung "Brown Sugar"
March 20th, 2010, 1:42 p.m. - Lynette ain't sayin' she's a gold-digger, but...actually, she is saying that
The Amazing Race - "I Think We're Fighting the Germans, Right?": Oh, Joe and Heidi. This is why you never quit. Now you look even worse for going out over Jeff and Jordan. Rating: 3 fake mustaches
Desperate Housewives - "Chromolume No. 7": Sam being Rex's son is an interesting twist, and I'm not really sure of the point of it, now that Rex is no longer on the show, but if it means more Andrew, I'm all for it. I don't get the point of the Scavos' plot, either - who would think Preston's rich? By the way, I totally guessed that Patrick was Danny's father. Because I'm awesome, apparently. Rating: 3 leprechauns
House - "Black Hole": I totally called the ending here, too! Not that the girl had a parasite, but that she'd slept with her boyfriend's father. Because why else was he there? The furniture subplot was so stupid. Wilson goes from the hilarity of the last episode to this? Poor guy. Rating: 3 parasite shells
American Idol - Top 12 perform and one goes home: Lacey's gone! And not a moment too soon! Two weeks too late, in fact. Now let's just get Aaron out of there and I'll be happy. Rating: 3 totally unnecessary and stupid headdresses, Ke$ha
Lost - "Recon": Very, very interesting. Sawyer and Charlotte? What a weird combination - and yet it worked. And Miles had something to do! Amazing! I'm really interested to see how things work out for Sawyer now that he's made deals with a bunch of people. It's like he's on Survivor, making multiple alliances. Rating: 4 submarines
America's Next Top Model - "Dreckitude!": The annoying girl left second! And Raina and Jessica won challenges! I love this show. Rating: 5 pendulums
The Office - "New Leads": Eh. This one fell a little flat for me. I can't really even think of anything memorable from it. A weak effort. Rating: 3 beanbag chairs
Project Runway - "Takin' It to the Streets": This one fell flat for me, too. I just don't get the challenges where the designers have to be inspired by something as abstract as a neighborhood, I guess because that's not how I am. I really liked Emilio and Seth Aaron's evening look, though. I'm really glad they won. Rating: 3 tears shed by Jonathan over Amy's ouster
10:54 p.m. - WWLD?
8. The Girl Who Played With Fire (Stieg Larsson)
Up next: House Rules (Jodi Picoult)
March 21st, 2010, 10:29 p.m. - Speaking of kicks, someone please kick Caite
"I Get No Kick from Champagne"
March 23rd, 2010, 10:46 p.m. - See you on The Soup, Miles!
March 27th, 2010, 2:29 p.m. - Just when you thought Michael couldn't get any more annoying...Date Mike
The Amazing Race - "Cathy Drone?": Why in the world would you drive all the way to a town called Champagne just because your clue is a champagne cork?? And Cord and Jet were doing so well until then. I'm just glad they didn't get eliminated. If they go out before Caite and Brent, I'll cry. Rating: 4 little bunches of grapes
Desperate Housewives - "My Two Young Men": The fact that this season's villain actually seems villainous is a good sign. Also a good sign: Kathryn Joosten (Mrs. McCluskey) will be a regular next season. Yay! I still think Bree and the Scavos' plots are stupid, but the Gaby/Susan stuff was sweet this week. I'm willing to put up with a little boring stuff if we get good stuff in exchange. Rating: 3 candy bars
How I Met Your Mother - "Say Cheese": Eh. There wasn't much memorable about this episode. Which is evidenced by the fact that I don't remember most of it. Rating: 3 bad photos of Barney
American Idol - Top 11 perform and one goes home: What's with all the suckage, people? I mean, if you want to keep accentuating the difference between you and Crystal, by all means, do it. No one cares anymore. Rating: 3 signatures on Crystal's guitar
Lost - "Ab Aeterno": I was SO BORED by this episode. Too much of the flashback world, not enough of the present, and pretty much zero in the way of plot development. The only part I enjoyed was the end where we learned more about the search for a replacement Jacob. A lot of people raved about this episode, but while I was watching, I just wanted it to be over. Rating: 2 buried crucifixes
America's Next Top Model - "Let's Dance": Great photo shoot this week. And again, the right girl went home. Is that how the whole season is going to go? Because if it is, we're going to wind up with another great top two. Rating: 4 blurred shots of Simone's cleavage
Grey's Anatomy - "Suicide is Painless": This episode might have been more moving if we hadn't already known that Owen's whole platoon was killed. By the way, when did Derek become such an unbelievable jerk? I might buy him stealing a surgery from a random doctor, but from his own wife? Who was all excited (and don't forget how he blew that off)? Webber needs to be reapproved as the chief soon, or I'm going to wind up hating Derek. Rating: 3 glasses of wine
The Office - "Happy Hour": With the exception of the grating Date Mike persona, this was a great episode. All of the plots were fun. I just don't get how Michael keeps attracting women. One of the great mysteries of the universe. Rating: 4 tickets
Project Runway - "Hey, That's My Fabric": Even though I love Anthony and am sad he left, it was the right choice, and I thought the episode was great anyway. I'm also happy that Emilio, whose designs I've loved since the very first challenge, is doing so well. Are we looking at an Emilio/Maya/Seth Aaron finale? I think we might be. Rating: 5 poor decisions made by Mila
March 28th, 2010, 7:46 p.m. - I don't think Theo would listen to Coldplay, but whatever
9. House Rules (Jodi Picoult)
Up next: The Spellmans Strike Again (Lisa Lutz)
11:24 p.m. - Rejected titles included "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts" and something about broken oxen
March 30th, 2010, 10:58 p.m. - Also acceptable: "Rhythm and Booze"
I liked this a lot more than The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. At this rate I bet I'll love The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Next. (Why do I have to wait two months for that one to come out??) In the future, when I don't know how to act in any given situation, I play to ask myself, what would Lisbeth do?
So much better than a lot of Picoult's recent novels. There's an actual mystery with actual layers, and even with five narrators, I didn't feel like there were too many voices trying to be heard. I also didn't feel like this was overwritten, which is my usual problem with Picoult. I went into this one almost skeptical, but I finished it pleasantly surprised. And, as is usual of Picoult, she made me want to keep reading.