March, 2018

March 4th, 2018, 3:25 p.m. - "That's the one thing you can't do." "Got it." "And here's a list of the other things you can't do"

America's Next Top Model – "Beauty Is Social": I'm pretty sure they only put Krystyana in the bottom two to make us think her eventual win isn't a slam-dunk. No way would they have cut her because she was nervous around a guy. I think Rio's hold on her spot is pretty tenuous right now; her star is starting to dim. I'm sick of her, so I hope she goes soon. Rating: 3 male models who did a really awesome job

The X-Files – "Rm9sbG93ZXJz": I loved every minute of this episode. They took a big risk with this, but it definitely paid off. My only problem: Why didn't Mulder give Scully a ride home? Rating: 5 off-brand killer Roombas

Speechless – "E-I-EIGHTEEN": Why have Ray and Taylor break up? Why have Taylor turn out to be a jerk? I enjoyed Ray using Jimmy's moves, though. He was surprisingly smooth. Rating: 4 tattoos

Modern Family – "Written in the Stars": Aw, Alex. You don't want to be the cliché of a student who dates her professor anyway. Besides, Manny's already done that. Rating: 4 telescopes

Supernatural – "Good Intentions": I'm with Cas – they should have killed Donatello and looked for the next prophet. Now we're just repeating the plot from the episodes where they needed the ingredients from the tablets. Rating: 3 shadow puppets

March 6th, 2018, 9:28 p.m. - Speaking of people I want to be friends with...

9. We Are Never Meeting in Real Life (Samantha Irby)
Why is it so hard to find a copy of Irby's first book, Meaty? 'Cause I need more Irby, like, now.

Up next: Her Body and Other Parties (Carmen Maria Machado)

March 10th, 2018, 2:02 p.m. - "Pepper, make me feel worthless. Good boy!"

America's Next Top Model – "Beauty Is Movement": Eh, Brendi was never going to win anyway. Go get some therapy, lady. Rating: 4 parachutes

The X-Files – "Familiar": This was like The X-Files meets Supernatural, but...I didn't find it that interesting. Maybe my standards are too high after last week's episode. Rating: 3 children's-show theme songs I'll never be able to get out of my head

Speechless – "U-N-UNFORGETTABLE P-A-PAIN": Someone please stop Ray before he ends up with a restraining order against him. Rating: 4 garbage-bag ponchos

Modern Family – "Spanks for the Memories": I loved the discussion Phil and Alex had about how she doesn't always have to do what she thinks is expected of her, and she needs to remember that she's in charge of her life. I think she needs that kind of guidance and doesn't get it enough. Rating: 4 pianos made out of cardboard boxes

Supernatural – "A Most Holy Man": I'm not sure a noir theme is the way to go, considering the age of most of the show's fans. There were too many slow spots for me to really enjoy this, but the plot itself was good. Rating: 3 skulls

March 11th, 2018, 9:31 p.m. - We interrupt this habit of never reading short stories short stories

10. Her Body and Other Parties (Carmen Maria Machado)
I want 300 more pages of "Especially Heinous." Please?

Up next: Force of Nature (Jane Harper)

March 17th, 2018, 2:10 p.m. - "If you want to throw the book at her, I have Gone Girl"

America's Next Top Model – "Beauty Is Real": Aw, Erin. She seemed cool. I don't think she was at supermodel level, though. At this point, this has to go to Khrystyana. Rating: 3 conflict-causing wigs

The X-Files – "Nothing Lasts Forever": This episode had some of the weirdest, grossest stuff I've ever seen, and that's saying a lot. This should have come earlier in the season. It didn't feel right in the second-to-last slot. Rating: 3 candles

Speechless – "ONE A-N-ANGRY M-MAYA"; "A-C-ACTION": Yay, Sarah Chalke came back! She and Minnie Driver have great enemy chemistry together. I can't believe the season's almost over already. Rating: 4 books Maya's finally getting around to reading

March 18th, 2018, 3:34 p.m. - Falk and Carmen should probably stay away from each other

11. Force of Nature (Jane Harper)
Welp, I said I'd probably read a series starring Falk, and now I can say I definitely will. I liked this a lot more than The Dry. Harper is excellent at pacing, and uncovering just enough of a mystery at a time to keep you turning the pages.

Up next: Sunburn (Laura Lippman)

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