March, 2019

March 2nd, 2019, 2:07 p.m. - "This body hearts tequila"

Modern Family – "Red Alert": I've already forgotten almost everything about this episode. Rating: 3 skills that transferred from a job making burritos

The Magicians – "A Timeline and Place": What's with the bear theme over the past two seasons? Humbledrum Emily turned Mayakovsky into a bear. The bad-luck bear. Elliot wore a shirt with a bear on it. Alice ate gummy bears. Am I the only one noticing this? Rating: 4 apparent solutions to the Flint water crisis

Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "He Said, She Said": This didn't quite work for me. It felt too "very special episode"-ish. As an episode itself, it was fine, but for the subject matter...the show can do better. Rating: 4 yo-yo strings (the most dangerous part of the yo-yo)

Speechless – "W-H-WHEELCHAIR P-L-PLANET": Yeah, no way is J.J. going to get into NYU. But this was a lot of fun. Rating: 4 teddy bear cameras

March 3rd, 2019, 4:23 p.m. - My second-favorite Ruffin, after Amber

10. We Cast a Shadow (Maurice Carlos Ruffin)
This book should scare anyone who reads it, because the story isn't out of the realm of possibility. I really like Ruffin's writing style, but he needs to learn how to write a three-dimensional woman.

Up next: My Sister, the Serial Killer (Oyinkan Braithwaite)

March 9th, 2019, 12:53 p.m. - "Is this about how I'm sensitive about everything? You know I'm sensitive about that"

The Magicians – "The Side Effect": This was my favorite episode of the season so far. I guess that means they need to use Kady, Zelda, and Fen more. And, uh...Pete can come back, I guess. Rating: 4 burning lizards

Supernatural – "Ouroboros": So...what are they going to do the rest of the season, if Michael's taken care of? Can we have more Rowena? Can Bobby come back? Please? Rating: 4 eaten eyeballs

Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "The Golden Child": I want an extended version of Amy and David's dorky dance battle. I could watch that all day. Rating: 5 notes on Terry's performance from Boyle

Speechless – "S-P-SPECIAL B-BOY T-I-TIME": Also my favorite episode of the season so far. My one complaint: Not enough Lee. Rating: 5 cards saying how much J.J. likes Izzy's friend's car

March 10th, 2019, 3:51 p.m. - Short and...well, not sweet

11. My Sister, the Serial Killer (Oyinkan Braithwaite)
I enjoyed it, but I'm not sure it was worthy of all the hype. It needed more substance.

Up next: Parkland (Dave Cullen)

March 16th, 2019, 1:31 p.m. - "Noticed you got magic back. Amazing. They didn't have an appropriate thank-you card at Target"

Modern Family – "The Wild": Meh. Just...meh. Rating: 3 rearranged pizzas

The Magicians – "Home Improvement": I was going to give this a 4, but honestly, that egg stuff pushes it over to a 5. All week I've been remembering Quentin's various deliveries of, "Falcor!" and giggling. Rating: 5 screaming books

Supernatural – "Peace of Mind": I almost gave this a 5, too, but the Dean/Jack stuff was a little slow. Sam as Justin will give me entertaining memories for months to come. Rating: 4 milkshakes I really thought would be more significant

Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "Gintars": I love when Holt and Amy get geeky together. Melissa Fumero is really underrated on this show. Rating: 4 jean jackets from the Gape

Speechless – "S-E-SEOUL B-R-BROTHERS": I figured Taylor was playing Ray like he was playing her. But that weird seduction scene in the library was...for real? Huh? Rating: 4 pairs of sparkly cowboy boots

March 17th, 2019, 3:32 p.m. - Activism is exhausting

12. Parkland (Dave Cullen)
If the teens featured in this book are the future leaders of America, we're going to be just fine.

Up next: Because We Are Bad (Lily Bailey)

March 22nd, 2019, 8:11 p.m. - Speaking of exhausting

13. Because We Are Bad (Lily Bailey)
Bailey deserves a lot of admiration for being so honest and open about her experiences. I hope she keeps writing; she has a great voice.

Up next: No Exit (Taylor Adams)

March 23rd, 2019, 2:10 p.m. - "You don't by any chance need any molly, do you?" "I'm a cop." "And scene"

Modern Family – "Stand by Your Man": The Jay/Gloria/home-shopping scene was really sweet. Everyone on this show needs to support each other more often. Rating: 4 cute dog beds

The Magicians – "The Serpent": I want a spin-off prequel series all about Zelda. Mageina Tovah has been so enjoyable on this show. Rating: 4 gross worms going in people's ears, EW

Supernatural – "Don't Go in the Woods": BORING. Almost as bad as "Lebanon." Rating: 3 knives that are NOT TOYS, JACK

Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "The Therapist": I already love Cameron Esposito as Jocelyn. More Jocelyn, please! Rating: 4 books Terry didn't want to admit were his

Speechless – "P-R-O-M-P-PROMPOSAL": No wonder they didn't show us much of Izzy's personality before – she's a petty jerk. P.S. I never thought I would say this, mostly because I never expected to see her in anything, but Bella Thorne was really good. Rating: 4 laser pointers

March 27th, 6:28 p.m. - "We are the rescue"

14. No Exit (Taylor Adams)
This book was SO GOOD. Adams jams a ton of stuff into it, but it doesn't feel overloaded or rushed. The main character, Darby, is like an action hero. This would make an excellent movie.

Up next: Act Natural (Jennifer Traig)

March 30th, 2019, 1:19 p.m. - "We're actually not moving today because my husband just came back from the dead"

The Magicians – "All That Hard, Glossy Armor": Disappointing. The song choices didn't work for me, the choreography was cheesy, and the plot was dumb. They need to let the original musical episode stand on its own; don't try to recreate it. Rating: 3 axes

Jane the Virgin – "Chapter 82": Hi, I'd like everyone to remember that Rafael went to Jane and slept with her after finding out that Michael was alive but before he told her, so I can't support that relationship. #TeamMichael Rating: 4 giant teddy bears

Abby's – "Pilot": The show could use some polish, but for the most part, I liked it. Great cast, especially Natalie Morales and Neil Flynn. I'm excited to learn more of the bar's rules. Rating: 4 mugs shaped like Viking helmets

Speechless – "ON THE R-O-ROAD A-G-AGAIN": Lots of laugh-out-loud moments in this episode. Everyone on this show works together so well. Rating: 4 servings of the world's best waffles

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