May, 2009
May 2nd, 2009, 12:20 p.m. - Once again...
14. Security (Stephen Amidon)
Up next: City of Thieves (David Benioff)
10:36 p.m. - Hush, everyone named Jaime or Jamie
The Amazing Race - "Having a Baby's Gotta Be Easier Than This": I said it in my recap and I'll say it again: everyone should have a sister like Kisha. She was so wonderful this week. Everyone should have a race partner like her. Or maybe like Tammy and Victor, who are awesome even when they fall to third place. I'll be surprised if they don't win. Rating: 4 LZR swimsuits
House - "House Divided": Can Amber stay? She could replace Foreman. He's boring. Ordinarily I'd say that she could replace Thirteen, but I actually didn't mind Thirteen this week. Clearly she needs to be distracted by strippers every week to be tolerable. I think from now on, whenever a show I watch gets really dull, I'll pretend Amber's there and everything will be better. Rating: 5 imaginary pens
How I Met Your Mother - "The Three Days Rule": In the same vein, can Stan stay, too? He was so much fun. This episode felt like an episode of Friends (and I mean that in a good way). I miss Lily, but they're doing well without her. It didn't feel strange to not have her there. I just wish I knew where things were going. I'm guessing in the season finale Barney and Robin will get together? Rating: 5 cheerleading uniforms
American Idol - Top 5 performances and results: The performances were all great and the outcome wasn't surprising, so I can't be disappointed. I always like it when we get down to this number of singers because they're all good and the performances are just fun to listen to. Plus, it means we're almost done, which means it's almost time for So You Think You Can Dance.... Rating: 4 completely unnecessary scenes with Jamie Foxx
America's Next Top Model - "Let's Go See the City": Ahh, go-sees. Always entertaining. You'd think the girls would learn from past seasons what to do and what not to do. Here's a hint: show personality and don't be late. That's pretty much it. Speaking of personality, Teyona finally showed one! And it's...kind of annoying! So maybe she should go back to being boring. Rating: 4 watches Fo should start wearing
Lost - "The Variable": Honestly, I'm not surprised that Daniel's dead (if he's dead, which it looks like he is). I'd heard rumors about one of the guys being killed off before the end of the season, and he just made sense. I just figured he would die protecting Charlotte. As much as I liked his character and really liked Jeremy Davies, I'd rather see him go than a lot of the other characters. Sorry, Daniel! If it had to be anyone, I can't be that sorry that it was you. Rating: 4 pianos
Survivor - "They Both Went Bananas": Poor Sierra. She really fought to stay in there. Too bad she's playing against a bunch of idiots. And too bad Coach won immunity, because otherwise he would've gone and she would have outlasted him. But more importantly, COACH WOULD BE GONE. There's nothing more important than that. Rating: 4 machetes
The Office - "Casual Friday": Eh. It didn't really go anywhere. No solutions were reached. Michael's back to being clueless. Can we do something else now? Rating: 3 fake firings
Grey's Anatomy - "No Good at Saying Sorry (One More Chance)": For all the flaws this show has, I think it portrays complex relationships really well. I liked seeing Izzie interacting with her mom, Callie trying to figure out how to deal with her family, Meredith and Webber actually talking about their complicated connection, and Cristina and Owen trying to navigate around each other in the midst of a really tough situation. And though I don't exactly like his character, I like what Thatcher brings to the show, so I appreciated seeing him again. It's nice to see angst in non-romantic relationships for once. I also have to say that I almost always like the casting on the show. I mean, Kellie Martin! Awesome. Rating: 4 bulldozers
Harper's Island - "Bang": I think my favorite part of this show might be the inability to predict who's going to die next and how. It made sense that one of the groomsmen would die this week, since we got to see more of them, but I didn't expect it to be Booth, and I didn't expect it to be because he was kind of an idiot. And then we got a fake-out with Trish almost dying, which was a nice twist. It seems like there are more mysteries every week - who does the psychic think wants to kill Abby? Who smashed the china? What, exactly, does Madison know? And how will the A Simple Plan-like plot with Malcolm turn out? Considering there's a killer on the loose, probably not well. Rating: 4 tarot cards
May 3rd, 2009, 11:14 p.m. - Alternate title: "Jen Flushes a Million Dollars Down a Chinese Port-A-Potty"
May 5th, 2009, 11:17 p.m. - Danny's high note is sucking my soul
May 8th, 2009, 12:16 p.m. - Chess? Really?
15. City of Thieves (David Benioff)
Up next: The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie (Alan Bradley)
May 9th, 2009, 10:11 p.m. - A disappointing week
The Amazing Race - "He Made Me Look Like Alice Cooper": We could have gotten rid of Cara and Jaime! Thanks a lot, Jen. Yeah, that's what I'm more concerned about than Jen and Kisha losing the million dollars - the fact that we have to put up with Jaime and Cara for another week. And that they could win. It's highly unlikely, but still. Bleh. Rating: 4 fried starfish
House - "Under My Skin": We didn't really need a patient of the week for this episode; the House stuff was entertaining enough. Actually, Amber singing made the episode for me. Ballerina, shmalerina. I have no idea what the big shocker in the next episode is supposed to be, but wouldn't it be interesting if House had hallucinated Cuddy being at his place? Though maybe that would be a little too Grey's Anatomy. Rating: 4 Vicodins
How I Met Your Mother - "Right Place, Right Time": Okay, Stella's not the mother, so can we move on already? I really think they should reveal the mother and then shift the focus of the show onto Ted's relationship with her, as compared to the relationships of the other characters. It's been four freaking seasons of Ted telling this story to his kids. This isn't How I Met Your Mother, it's My Life in New York Before I Met Your Mother. Rating: 4 charts
American Idol - Top 4 performances and results: Aww, Allison. I really liked her. But I think she'll do well even with coming in fourth place. Girl can SING. As much as I like him, I'm not completely convinced Kris deserves to be in the top three. He's been kind of forgettable for much of the season. Eh, whatever, he'll go out this week and we'll have the inevitable Adam/Danny final two. Rating: 3 pairs of sunglasses Slash apparently never takes off
America's Next Top Model - "Take Me to the Jungle": I think Celia should have stayed over Aminat, but what do I know? I'm not really surprised by the top three. I think Aminat will be out next and Teyona will win. I'll actually be surprised if she doesn't. And I don't really care either way, honestly. I don't hate her, I don't love her, I'm just okay with her. Rating: 3 feathers
Lost - "Follow the Leader": The finale better be awesome, because this was just meh. Jack is back to being annoying, Sun is still sitting around doing nothing, Ben and Locke are being underused. I'm expecting something terrific next week, so they better deliver. Rating: 3 of Daniel's journals
Survivor - "The Ultimate Sacrifice": Once again, Stephen and his merry band of followers squandered a perfectly good opportunity to get rid of Coach. Why not vote him out, give Debbie a false sense of security, and then turn on her? Why doesn't anyone listen to me? What about my needs? Like my need to not have to watch Coach on my TV screen anymore? Isn't that important to anyone else? Selfish jerks. Rating: 4 awkward moments between Coach and his assistant coach
The Office - "Café Disco": Wow, this wasn't a good episode. This season has been really inconsistent. Like the other shows that disappointed me this week, I'm hoping for a really good season finale. With a wedding. Not to get all squeeeee! or anything, but seriously. Wedding. Rating: 2 bouquets of wildflowers
Grey's Anatomy - "What a Difference a Day Makes": I figured Alex and Izzie were going to wind up getting married, and not just because Derek and Meredith getting hitched this easily doesn't seem to fit the show. Did anything else happen in the episode? Because that's kind of all I remember. I guess we have to play nice with Katherine Heigl so she doesn't throw any more hissy fits. Rating: 4 head scarves
Harper's Island - "Thwack": Strangely, this was the best thing I watched on TV all week. That's a little sad. I like that they've finally acknowledged that some of the people who are supposed to be around...well, aren't. Like Lucy, who's been missing for, like, three episodes now. I also like that there are other mysteries besides the murders, like who's leaving dead animals all over the place and the Booth storyline. But I think my favorite part of the show is still that you can never predict who's going to die and how. This week they saved the killing for the very last minute, and I didn't see it coming at all. I'd almost forgotten that no one had been killed yet in the episode. I guess I should've predicted Wellington would be the next to bite it - he'd just started to show redeeming qualities. Rating: 5 firecrackers
May 10th, 2009, 9:59 p.m. - Thanks for the great birthday present, Phil!
May 12th, 2009, 11:18 p.m. - Go Adam! Choose Adam!
"I Already Know How This Thing Go"
May 13th, 2009, 11:26 p.m. - Let me see if I have this right...
If Jughead did its thing and flight 815 never crashes:
May 14th, 2009, 11:35 p.m. - Awww, 007
The Amazing Race - "This is How You Lose a Million Dollars": Yay! I'm so happy Victor and Tammy won. I think this is the third season in a row where I've felt like the winners really deserved the win. As I said in my recap, these two really embodied the combination of brains, brawn, and teamwork that Phil always says will get the teams ahead. They really only had that one snafu, and the way they overcame it and managed to race even better afterwards shows how hard they worked and how much they wanted to succeed. I'm impressed with Cara and Jaime for coming in second when I figured they'd be that one team that always manages to lag far behind every season. Also, I really didn't want them to be the first two-woman team to win, so Tammy and Victor winning was just an added bonus. Rating: 5 gigantic pigs
House - "Both Sides Now": Since I guessed the twist that House and Cuddy hadn't actually slept together, I guess the biggest surprise of the episode was that Cameron and Chase actually got married. If only everyone's relationship problems could be solved in 50 minutes, and without anyone even cancelling any of the wedding arrangements. Well, I guess I was also surprised that House committed himself, since I thought Wilson was taking him to rehab. But I'm sort of sad that I'd already figured out the House/Cuddy thing; I think I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn't seen it coming. This episode set up any number of possibilities for next season, which I like in a season finale. Unlike the hallucination twist, I can't guess what's going to happen next. Rating: 4 tubes of lipstick
How I Met Your Mother - "As Fast as She Can": At first I thought this was the season finale, in which case I was really disappointed because, you know, nothing happened. But now that I know there's another episode next week, it was just a regular old boring episode. Not that that's any better, of course. The Barney stuff was kind of silly and unnecessary, and other than that, Ted was the only main character who really had anything to do. I can barely remember Robin and Marshall being in the episode. It was nice to see Lily for a couple minutes, just to remind us that she exists, but...bleh. Better luck with the finale. Rating: 3 big, fat checks
American Idol - Top 3 performances and results: Dude. Dude! Danny was voted out! I was, like, 95 percent sure that wasn't going to happen! Now I'm really looking forward to the finale. I love Adam, but if Kris won, I wouldn't be disappointed at all. I'm so glad that the voters recognized how great he's been, especially in the past few weeks. After the performances, I was going to give this week a 3, but Kris sticking around elevates it an entire point. Rating: 4 crazed fans rushing Adam onstage
America's Next Top Model - "America's Next Top Model is...": Yeah, Teyona won. Big surprise. I don't really care. She can model, fine, whatever. Allison's awesome and much more interesting. Nothing happened this season. The end. Rating: 3 lip stains that are not lipstick, they're makeup magic in a marker, or something like that
Lost - "The Incident": As if I wasn't already excited for next season. There was a little too much going on in this episode for my tastes, but what did work worked well. I'm going to guess that next season, either Oceanic 815 crashes despite what happened with Jughead or it doesn't crash and the survivors meet each other and/or wind up on the island anyway because of destiny and blah, blah, blah. I'll be sad to see the show go after next season, but I like that anything goes from here on out because we're playing towards the endgame. And if Jughead restarts everything, the dead characters are no longer dead, which means we get Juliet back! Also Ana-Lucia, of course, but yay, Juliet! Rating: 4 little jungle huts lived in by Rose, Bernard, and Vincent
Survivor - "The Martyr Approach": How ironic that Coach would be at his craziest just before getting voted out. What a delusional weirdo. Do I even need to say anything else? Except that for the first time since Cook Islands, I would be okay with any of the final four winning. The finale should be good. Rating: 4 nights of sleep that Coach totally didn't need
The Office - "Company Picnic": Utter cuteness! I am a sucker for cuteness, so how could I not like this episode? Also, a huge round of applause to the casting people for whoever played Rolf, because that was genius. Rating: 5 volleyballs
Grey's Anatomy - "Here's to the Future"/"Now or Never": Just like with House a few weeks ago, I was pretty bored right up until the last five minutes. Those five minutes took my rating from a 3 to a 4. I went in thinking that the rumors I'd heard about the finale would play out - that George would be injured in Iraq and we wouldn't find out until next season whether he lived or died, i.e. T.R. Knight would have the summer to decide whether to stay or leave the show. Even when it didn't look like there was going to be enough time for that to happen, I figured they would just leave it at that. I'm a huge sucker, I guess. Excellent twist, and I loved the callback to Izzie getting in the elevator and seeing George instead of Denny. Of all the season finales I've seen so far, I think this one affected me the most emotionally, and that was just the last five minutes. Also, did it take anyone else a minute to recognize Liza Weil? Rating: 4 blue Post-Its
May 15th, 2009, 5:37 p.m. - Just like Sherlock Holmes. If Holmes were an 11-year-old girl. In the English countryside. In 1950. But otherwise, yeah, just like Sherlock Holmes
16. The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie (Alan Bradley)
Up next: The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet (Reif Larsen)
May 17th, 2009, 9:21 p.m. - We work fast 'round these parts
May 20th, 2009, 12:15 p.m. - Now that song's stuck in my head. At least it's not the coronation song, though
10:07 p.m. - Some random thoughts from the Idol finale
...Since I didn't recap it (thank God):
May 21st, 2009, 11:18 p.m. - IT'S BACK!
"Help Me, Cat Deeley, You're My Only Hope"
May 23rd, 2009, 10:41 p.m. - John Wakefield is kind of a silver fox. Well, he was. Not so much now
Survivor - "I Trust You But I Trust Me More": Going into the finale, J.T. basically had it all wrapped up. But the time he and Stephen got in front of the jury and Stephen had to scramble to answer the questions, it was pretty clear that he was going to win. I mean, you could practically see the wheels in Stephen's head turning frenetically as he tried to backpedal. I'm a little surprised that absolutely everyone voted for J.T., but I guess they just didn't see how much work Stephen put into his alliance. And J.T. was just so likable, it's hard to be sorry that he won. I probably would have voted for him, too, if he'd been on the jury. I liked all four of the final four, so I would have been okay with any outcome, but I think this one was for the best. Stephen may have outwitted a lot of people, but J.T. definitely outplayed and outlasted them. The most deserving person doesn't always win (which makes sense, because this game isn't about who deserves what), but this time around, he did. Rating: 4 plastic tarantulas
How I Met Your Mother - "The Leap": Eh. Fair, like a lot of episodes this season. I hope they get back into gear next season. Rating: 3 washcloths
American Idol - Top 2 performances and finale: See my post from May 20th. Rating: 4 completely unnecessary performances that dragged the finale out way too long
Glee - Pilot: SO GOOD. WANT MORE. Loved the music, loved the cast (especially Jane Lynch), loved the dynamics between the characters. Even the annoying characters were entertaining, which is a mark of good acting. Can't wait to see more in the fall. Rating: 5 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
So You Think You Can Dance - First auditions: Yay, Natalie! I hope she makes the top 20. There were a lot of people to look out for, and this was just the first round, so I'm expecting great things all summer. Rating: 5 umbrellas
Harper's Island - "Sploosh": Wow, this show doesn't hold back on the blood, does it? I thought Beth (is that her name? The bridesmaid? I think that's her name. I'm going with it) was going to die since she had lines and more than two seconds of screen time. It was nice to see Richard get what was coming to him instead. Speaking of dummies, Henry, Abby, and the sheriff are idiots if they just accept that since there's a skeleton in Wakefield's grave, it must be his. Oh, of course! Way to use your brains, guys. I like Chloe and Cal as the comic relief, especially since they don't have much to do otherwise, and I have to admit, I'm actually a little sad that the odds are in favor of one or both of them getting killed. Maybe they'll go together. That would be romantic, right? Rating: 4 smacks to the face of the guy who took Cal's engagement ring
May 24th, 2009, 2:04 p.m. - Now I get why everyone hated the ending
17. The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet (Reif Larsen)
Up next: Lisey's Story (Stephen King)
May 27th, 2009, 10:58 p.m. - I really feel sorry for the guy in this picture
May 28th, 2009, 10:37 p.m. - Return to sender
I'm heading off on vacation on Saturday, so I'll combine this week's TV post with next week's, which will make it seem less pathetic anyway, since I'm only watching two shows right now. I'll do my annual vacation-book roundup next week, too.
Good idea, poor execution. It needed a bigger shock.
A great story, very well written, beautiful imagery, fun dialogue, distinct dialogue...but a bad climax. Nice try, Benioff. The rest of it was great.
I don't think I've ever used the word "plucky" in any capacity, but it's the perfect word for the heroine of The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, Flavia de Luce. She's an 11-year-old chemistry whiz who spends her days battling her older sisters and being precocious. She comes across a dying man in her family's garden, and when her father is accused of murdering him, she sets out to find out what really happens. Of course, she gets in way over her head, but ultimately, it's nothing she can't handle. It's nice to read a mystery that takes place before the advent of the Internet - Flavia has to do all the footwork (with the help of her bike, Gladys) and research without any technology. It's a good old-fashioned murder mystery solved with old-fashioned book learnin'. This is the first in a new series, and I can't wait for the next book, which, sadly, doesn't come out until next year.
You had me till Colorado. I wish I'd stopped reading there.