November, 2012
November 3rd, 2012, 12:41 p.m. - "Neener neener"
The Amazing Race - "Chill Out, Freak": I can't believe there's no one thoroughly detestable this season. Even the twins are just annoying, not hateworthy. Eh, there's still time. We're just now at the first non-elimination leg, after all. Rating: 3 comically long pieces of bamboo
Homeland - "Q&A": Show, you had me until the Dana/Finn plot. Then you lost me. You lost me in nervous, disbelieving, "they're kidding, right?" laughter. Rating: 4 knives through the hand (seriously, get help, Quinn)
Modern Family - "Yard Sale": A number of people noticed this episode's similarities to Arrested Development, so of course I liked it. I hope we get to see more of Alex's definitely-not-gay boyfriend. Rating: 4 subs requested WITHOUT tomatoes (I feel ya, Phil)
The Big Bang Theory - "The Extract Obliteration": Stephen Hawking taunting Sheldon will never not be funny. Rating: 3 awesome American accents used by Raj
America's Next Top Model - "The Girl Who Becomes Art for Tyra": You stay class, Kristin. And stay classy far, far, FAR away from me. Rating: 4 shower curtains
Degrassi - "Doll Parts, Part 2": Aww, Maya. You deserve so much better than Cam as a boyfriend and Tori as a best friend. You deserve Zig! Stop being so nice! Wait, that's not right. Rating: 3 songs about wanting to make out/have sex with your boyfriend that are a little inappropriate for a teen beauty pageant
2:06 p.m. - What DOES the S stand for?
41. "Who Could That Be at This Hour?" (Lemony Snicket)
Up next: The Eyre Affair (Jasper Fforde)
November 10th, 2012, 1:36 p.m. - "That's not Pig Latin" "That wasn't anything Latin"
The Amazing Race - "Get Your Sexy On": I predict that race karma will take care of the twins. It always does. Hopefully it will happen very soon. Rating: 4 ice cream cones from the wrong vendor (did they pay for those?)
Homeland - "A Gettysburg Address": As much as the Finn/Dana plot sucks, Morgan Saylor is an awesome actress. And at least it's only a small portion of the show. Plus, other than that, this season is slowly but surely becoming even better than last season. Rating: 5 missing bullets
How I Met Your Mother - "The Autumn of Breakups": Wow, Victoria went downhill fast. But why did the show borrow a storyline from Friends? I kind of hope they go back to Marshall's diva-ing. That cracked me up. Rating: 3 little dog suits
Modern Family - "Arrested": The Haley plot made sense – it gets her back home and back into the main storylines. And Phil's reaction to it was AWESOME. Now go publish Phil's-osophies! Rating: 4 waffles
Top Chef - "The Ultimate Chef Test": I loved the way they did the "auditions" this season. So many of the challenges on this show involve tasks the chefs will most likely never have to deal with in reality. But having to make a great bowl of soup? Yes. Having to work a dinner service? Yes. And it was smart to have them split into small groups so the audience could meet a few of them at a time. Otherwise we get a dozen of them thrown at us at once and we never remember anyone's name. By only complaint is that there are too many judges, but I guess it's necessary if the same three or four can't be there every week. And I think Wolfgang Puck is going to be great. Rating: 5 omelets
The Big Bang Theory - "The Habitation Configuration": A so-so episode. Though I liked the return of Fun with Flags (now with special guest stars). Rating: 3 loads of laundry
Glee - "The Role You Were Born to Play": There are way too many characters on this show. Way too many. And apparently some of them can just drop everything and come back to their high schools to help out with a school musical that no teachers want to be involved in. Also, Sue, yes, you are a bigot. It's not funny anymore. Rating: 3 Fs this new Ryder kid will probably get since he now has even less time to study
Grey's Anatomy - "Beautiful Doom": The split-screen stuff threw me, just because the show never does that, but I liked seeing Meredith and Cristina's lives side by side. And, of course, I love that Cristina's finally back in Seattle. Let the fun begin! Rating: 4 boxes of fish sticks (which are multicultural how...?)
America's Next Top Model - "The Girl Who Freaks Out on Horseback": Awww, there goes the horse I was backing. I think this is Kiara's to lose now. I predict Leila comes in third and Laura becomes first loser. And cries. A lot. Rating: 4 horses that really shouldn't have been used in that shoot
Degrassi - "I Want It That Way, Part 1": I don't like Alli or Dallas, so I don't care at all about their plot. Unless Alli goes full-on Jessie Spano. Then I'll care. Rating: 3 Jay-Z tickets (and since when is Clare a hip-hop fan?)
November 17th, 2012, 2:54 p.m. - C.J. for president!
The Amazing Race - "Off to See the Wizard": I hope that somewhere in Moscow, a cab driver feels reeeeeeally bad about himself. Rating: 4 synchronized-swimming caps
Homeland - "The Clearing": Say what you will about Claire Danes, Damien Lewis, Mandy Patinkin, etc., but the actress playing Aileen deserves an Emmy. She was fantastic. Too bad that's it for her. Rating: 4 broken eyeglass lenses
How I Met Your Mother - "Splitsville": Aww, I liked Nick. Um, before he was dumb. Though Robin shouldn't be so judgmental when she didn't know reindeer were real until a couple years ago. Rating: 3 pull-ups done while wearing a baby in a Snuggli
Modern Family - "Mistery Date": I loved Manny and Luke pulling a Wedding Crashers on a bar mitzvah, and Luke picking up Yiddish. I would have watched an hour of that. Rating: 3 disturbing murals
Top Chef - "A Shock at the Space Needle": There may have been some squealing from my couch when C.J. appeared. And again when they announced that he was competing again. And every time I saw him through the rest of the episode. I may have a little crush on him. Oh, no, I've said too much. Rating: 4 quails
The Big Bang Theory - "The 43 Peculiarity": The jealousy thing again? Eh. Rating: 3 hacky sacks
Glee - "Glease": It's time to give Kitty at least one redeeming quality, because leaving aside the fact that she's a stereotypical judgmental Christian who is giving everyone of that religion a bad name, she tried to give a girl an eating disorder. It's impossible to see her without wishing some horrible fate on her. Also, shut up, Sue. Also also, Marley, you're an idiot. If your regular clothes still fit, you're not gaining weight. Use your brain. Rating: 3 words they had to change in "Grease Lightning"
Grey's Anatomy - "Second Opinion": Alex needs a plotline. Except I'm sure it'll revolve around him hooking up with that intern whose name I don't know. Maybe we can just watch his and Cristina's roommate hijinks. Rating: 3 sexy emails from Jackson's mom to Jackson's colleague
America's Next Top Model - "The Girl Who Becomes America's Next Top Model": Laura? Really? Okay... Rating: 3 slips on the runway (poor Leila)
Degrassi - "I Want It That Way, Part 2": Yay, someone on this show finally went crazy! I was waiting for someone to join me in that. Rating: 3 crashed cars
November 18th, 2012, 12:20 p.m. - Sweet madness indeed
42. The Eyre Affair (Jasper Fforde)
Up next: Lost in a Good Book (Jasper Fforde)
November 23rd, 2012, 2:34 p.m. - "You're the LeBron James of strip clubs. Actually, you're probably tied with LeBron James for that title"
The Amazing Race - "We Was Robbed": If they ever do another "unfinished business" season, James and Abba better be in it. What a horrible way to go out. I guess I'm team Chippendales now. Though I have to give Brent a ton of credit for the way he breezed through the tasks this leg. Rating: 4 Vladimir Putin lookalikes judging challenges (seriously, that "professor" looked just like him)
Homeland - "I'll Fly Away": This Thanksgiving, I was thankful that I don't have to take any responsibility for Carrie Mathison. Rating: 4 helicopters
How I Met Your Mother - "The Stamp Tramp": I'm kind of neutral on how Robin and Barney end up, but I like their friendship, especially when Robin ends up helping Barney with one of his wacky schemes. Her turn as his agent was brilliant. Rating: 4 Dishwalla T-shirts
Degrassi - "Tonight, Tonight": I thought I didn't care about Adam or Becky, but I felt really bad for him and wound up rooting for the two of them to get together. The rest of the episode was just kind of a big distraction. The Clare/Jake stuff was dumb, though Clare did have a point that it was ridiculous that Jake's punishment for smoking pot is...he doesn't get to smoke pot anymore. Rating: 3 "borrowed" cars
Top Chef - "Tom vs. Emeril: Turkeypocalypse": I liked Kuniko, but she definitely had to go. No one else screwed up as badly as she did. Well, maybe Josie, but they couldn't eliminate her. I liked the challenge in this episode, and I'm constantly surprised that after all these seasons, the show is still able to come up with new ideas that really work. Rating: 4 turkey meatballs (yum)
Glee - "Dynamic Duets": There are still too many characters on this show. But this episode had some good moments, a few great jokes, and a terrific performance of one of my favorite current songs, "Some Nights." Also, Kitty starting to get her comeuppance. Ha! Rating: 4 stolen trophies
November 26th, 2012, 10:52 p.m. - What's the plural of deus ex machina?
43. Lost in a Good Book (Jasper Fforde)
Up next: Shades of Grey (Jasper Fforde)
This was a great way to ride out a hurricane. Sometimes you just need something silly and mysterious.
A little messy, but in a good way. I love the world Fforde has created. I think a lot of his books will wind up on my Christmas list.
There were a few too many close calls abruptly interrupted by rescues, but I'm still really enjoying these books. Fforde's cleverness and wit have me laughing out loud.