November, 2015
November 3rd, 2015, 10:33 p.m. - "She had become a wife, and wives, as we all know, are invisible"
36. Fates and Furies (Lauren Groff)
Up next: Fortune Smiles (Adam Johnson)
November 7th, 2015, 2:19 p.m. - "There are no dinosaurs... Jesus broke in and stole them all"
Homeland – "Better Call Saul": Please tell me Saul is on to Allison and isn't as clueless as he's coming across. Former director of the CIA! Needs to be smarter! Rating: 3 sticks of Black Jack gum
Quantico – "God": This show needs better twists. It was pretty obvious to me that Shelby was hooking up with Caleb's dad. Who, by the way, is probably evil, because...Lucifer. Rating: 3 books with surveillance devices in them
Scream Queens – "Beware of Young Girls": What's the appeal of Tavi Gevenson? I don't get it. Rating: 3 bologna sandwiches
Supernatural – "Thin Lizzie": The first weak episode of the season, though it did have its moments. I liked the twist of the babysitter being the killer. And Leonard was fun; I wouldn't mind seeing him again. Rating: 3 axes
The Big Bang Theory – "The Spock Resonance": This season is...not doing it for me. Where's Amy? Rating: 3 mini Wil figurines
Scandal – "Even the Devil Deserves a Second Chance": Isn't anyone else disturbed that Cory's dad from Boy Meets World was playing a rapist? Rating: 3 signed books
The Amazing Race – "Full Speed Ahead, Captain!": Wow, for a doctor, Rick is really...not bright. And the task planners need to dig a little deeper into the Netherlands next time; everything in this episode was a cliché. Rating: 3 tulips
America's Next Top Model – "The Girl Who Took a Shot in the Dark": The only surprise this week was that Mamé somehow scored better than Devin on the challenge. She couldn't even put together a sentence! By the way, I'm mad that Nyle got dinged for a task where he was at a severe disadvantage. But they probably just did that so his inevitable final-three placement won't seem quite as inevitable. Rating: 3 horribly decorated tank tops (Wow, everything got a 3 this week. Not great for November sweeps)
November 14th, 2015, 2:23 p.m. - Excuse me, I think you forgot to finish "Hurricanes Anonymous"
37. Fortune Smiles (Adam Johnson)
Up next: Refund (Karen E. Bender)
November 15th, 2015, 9:26 p.m. - "Thank you for breaking up with me. It will take me eight minutes to collect my things"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "Into the Woods": The Diaz/Holt plot was really the only solid one. They're a great combination. Terry needs more to do. Rating: 3 shoulder flashlights
Homeland – "Parabiosis": No, seriously, Saul has to be on to Allison, right? And his fight with Dar Adal was a set-up to try to make her think they're against each other when they're really not? Yes? Please? Rating: 3 blood transfusions
Scream Queens – "Mommie Dearest": BOOOOOONE! That is all. Rating: 4 dresses Denise borrowed
Supernatural – "Our Little World": Metatron as Jake Gyllenhaal's character from Nightcrawler? Um, okay. At least they got the demon tablet back. Too bad Kevin's not there to make it useful. Rating: 4 devil's traps, which haven't been used in a while, so that was nice
Modern Family – "The More You Ignore Me": Whatever, Alex would never date Reuben. Watch previous episodes. She hates him. And speaking of the Dunphy children's relationships, can we please get Haley and Andy together already? Rating: 3 sauce recipes
The Big Bang Theory – "The Mystery Date Observation": Two more great casting choices! Too bad we probably won't see them again. Rating: 4 detergent bottles
Scandal – "Rasputin": I don't see Huck killing Rowan, so that cliffhanger was kind of eh. Pretty much the only thing that would really shock me right now is if Fitz gets killed. P.S. Please can Fitz get killed? Rating: 3 fake factories
The Amazing Race – "Krakow, I'm Gonna Get You": Finally, a non-elimination leg. Not that I was rooting for any of the lagging teams. Actually, I'm not really sure who I'm rooting for. None of the teams left has really grabbed me as that great. Rating: 4 blobs of gefilte fish
America's Next Top Model – "The Guy Who Was a Momma's Boy": Darn you, fake elimination! I was so ready for that final three! I guess we're looking at a Nyle/Mamé final two? If Nyle's not there, I might cry. Rating: 4 cover mock-ups
November 21st, 2015, 11:15 a.m. - I don't get it
38. Refund (Karen E. Bender)
Up next: Tenth of December (George Saunders)
November 22nd, 2015, 4:12 p.m. - "Well, it wouldn't be a holiday without you being mad at a baby"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "The Mattress": You're telling me Holt doesn't park his car immaculately every single time? Really? Really? Rating: 4 $14 cupcakes
Homeland – "Oriole": Holy cow, they really are that dumb. Carrie, please figure out that Allison is trying to kill you. Please be the smart one here. Rating: 3 broken windows
Scream Queens – "Ghost Stories": I'm surprised Ryan Murphy would kill off Lea Michele before the end of the season, which makes me think that Ryan Murphy did not really kill off Lea Michele. If only he also hadn't killed off Nick Jonas. And no, I can't believe I just said that. Rating: 4 wishbone necklaces
Supernatural – "Plush": Donna! Yay, Donna! This was a nice, solid monster-of-the-week episode, with the added strength of an enjoyable recurring character. Also, Sam's clown fear. Hee. Always funny. Rating: 4 deer costume heads
Modern Family – "Phil's Sexy, Sexy House": Who invites her entire family to visit without letting her husband know? Rating: 3 stolen wallets
The Big Bang Theory – "The Platonic Permutation": Sheldon's game at the aquarium was fun. I really liked seeing him and Amy back on good terms. I wish we saw them chatting like this more often. Rating: 4 orange negligees
Scandal – "Baby, It's Cold Outside": Okay, but...nothing happened. Wasn't there supposed to be something jaw-dropping? My jaw did not drop. Rating: 3 leaf bracelets
The Amazing Race – "It's Always the Quiet Ones": I honestly don't know if I'll finish the season. I don't care about any of these people. Rating: 3 pumpkins
America's Next Top Model – "Finale Part 1: The Girl Who Made a Splash": Speaking of nothing happening... Rating: 3 stolen photo ops
November 25th, 2015, 5:29 p.m. - This is much more my speed
39. Tenth of December (George Saunders)
Up next: It Was Me All Along (Andie Mitchell)
November 28th, 2015, 2:24 p.m. - "How did you get things done before the Internet?" "Cocaine"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "Ava": The first show I watched this week that I was looking forward to but that really disappointed me. There wasn't much funny here. And what a waste of Nick Offerman. Rating: 3 wooden ducks
Homeland – "All About Allison": Yay, finally Carrie figured it out! Next can she get Quinn a better plot? Rating: 3 screensavers
Scream Queens – "Thanksgiving": The second disappointing show of the week that I'd been looking forward to. The Radwells were supposed to be awesome, not annoying! Huge misstep. Rating: 3 frozen dinners
November 29th, 2015, 5:53 p.m. - Cut it in half and then get back to me
40. City on Fire (Garth Risk Hallberg)
Wonderfully written, but man, there is not one likable person here. Maybe Rachel. Not that she gets anything to do.
Good, not terrific. I'm a little surprised it's getting so many award nominations. Maybe they only read "Hurricanes Anonymous," which was, admittedly, wonderful.
Eh. If I'd bought this book, I would want a refund. I won't even apologize for that joke.
"The Semplica Girl Diaries." Ooooh, boy.
Nine hundred pages and nothing happened. Thanks a lot, Hallberg.