October, 2010
October 3rd, 2010, 3:19 p.m. - "I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist"
The Amazing Race - "They Don't Call It the Amazing Race for Nothin'!": So far, so good. Lots of good personalities this season. And I'm proud of myself for being able to tell almost everyone apart already. Rating: 4 watermelons
Desperate Housewives - "Remember Paul?": Some great dialogue in this episode, especially between Lynette and Renee. I like that they brought back a former villain instead of introducing a new one (though it looks like Renee may turn out to be a villain, too). It's nice to revisit the show's history like this. Rating: 4 strips of wallpaper
House - "Selfish": When does Amber Tamblyn get here? I'm excited to see her on this show. The rest of this is just filler to me. Rating: 3 seconds it took the audience to figure out that Cuddy continuing to supervise House would never work
How I Met Your Mother - "Cleaning House": What a nice, touching episode. Though "Dad, look how fast I can run!" made me snort with laughter. Rating: 4 Sloppy Joes
The Event - "To Keep Us Safe": Aliens, yeah, okay, whatever. I'm still giving this a fair shot. Don't ask me what could happen to make me change my mind, because I don't actually know, and it could be anything. Who knows if I'll still be watching next week? Rating: 3 fake veins
Glee - "Britney/Brittany": So great to see Heather Morris get to do so much! I knew she was a terrific dancer; I didn't realize she was such a good singer, too. I also liked the way the big numbers were framed as hallucinations, so we didn't sit there wondering why they put so much work into them. And I liked how the real Britney Spears kept popping up in people's dreams. I liked almost all of this episode, and I've been fairly disappointed by the show recently, so I'm going to grade this one on a curve. Rating: 5 yellow pythons
America's Next Top Model - "Matthew Rolston": Great photo shoot, and I was impressed by how well so many of the girls did. I still think this is Kayla's contest to lose, but she's going to have to fight for it. Rating: 4 eels
Survivor - "Glitter in Their Eyes": I'm so glad we won't have to hear people say Jimmy Johnson's full name all the time anymore. Now can we just get rid of NaOnka before I need to give her a smack in the face? Rating: 3 squashed bananas
Grey's Anatomy - "Shock to the System": I guess the writers are on top of things, since they seem to want to put Mark and Lexie back together as much as I want them to. (Yay!) But I think my favorite part of the episode was Meredith helping Cristina - we've seen them care for each other a lot over the years, and they show us over and over how they get each other through crises, so of course this won't be any different. I was surprised, though, that Meredith wasn't cleared for surgery before now, since she seems to have handled the whole situation better than anyone else. And it was a little predictable that she would get approved after she told the shrink whose name I can never remember exactly what's been going on. But other than that, I still like the theme this season seems to be taking on. Rating: 4 beige paint samples that very accurately symbolize how boring Callie and Arizona's plot is
The Office - "Counseling": If Pam sucks so much at sales, why does Sabre let her keep working there? Whatever. The Dwight stuff was the best part of the episode. Watching him try to keep his composure at the store was Rainn Wilson at his best. Rating: 3 wizards holding crystals
11:12 p.m. - No, the link will not Rick Roll you
October 7th, 2010, 11:07 p.m. - "All that singing got in the way of some perfectly good murders"
The Amazing Race - "A Kiss Saves the Day": Why couldn't the incompetent, ridiculously dumb Nick and Vicki get eliminated over the sweet, funny Jenna and Andie? Not cool. At least there's no way they'll make it past the next two legs. Uh, right? Rating: 3 coffins shaped like fish
Desperate Housewives - "You Must Meet My Wife": I bet anything that Paul's wife is Felicia's daughter. And if she is, that's some great casting, because Emily Bergl looks like she could be Harriet Sansom Harris' daughter. That plot and the Solises' plot are the best right now, though Bree's could get interesting. I have to admit, I'm kind of impressed by Brian Austin Green. Wow, there's something I never thought I'd say. Rating: 3 goldfish
House - "Unwritten": Eh. I like Amy Irving, but this didn't work for me. It's a bad week when I like the B plot more than the A plot - especially when Sam is involved in that B plot. (Actually, she wasn't that bad this week.) Still awaiting Amber Tamblyn... Rating: 3 cheek scars
How I Met Your Mother - "Unfinished": This felt a little like an episode from an earlier season. I think it was because of Barney's behavior. Robin's stuff was also pretty funny, though I thought it would have been even funnier if it turned out she was leaving messages on some stranger's voicemail the entire time. Rating: 4 toy planes
Glee - "Grilled Cheesus": I'm torn about this episode. I really, really liked some moments, but I thought some of the humor was out of place. Maybe I need to watch it again? On the plus side: Rachel's performance of "Papa, Can You Hear Me?" was gorgeous, and Kurt's performance of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" brought me closer to tears than any episode of this show ever has. And I'm not someone who cries over TV shows easily. Rating: 4 magical sandwiches
America's Next Top Model - "Karolina Kurkova": This is turning out to be a great season! And we're getting rid of the weaker girls first, which is always nice. I was so sure Jane was going this week, though. I thought her apparent lack of personality had done her in. There's still time for that, of course. By the way, Ann getting called first four weeks in a row? That's some bull right there. Can't Kayla and my dark-horse pick Chelsey get some love? Rating: 4 conveyer belts
Survivor - "Pulling the Trigger": The good: one crazy gone. The bad: another crazy has a hidden immunity idol. (Thanks a lot, Brenda, for making that happen.) Let's hope the tribal swap throws NaOnka off guard more than she threw Kelly B. off kilter. Rating: 3 sea urchins
Grey's Anatomy - "Superfreak": Do adults seriously still taunt other adults for being virgins? Don't worry, April, I got your back. Alex would be lucky to get a girl like you. Rating: 3 condomed bananas
The Office - "Andy's Play": This was like an episode of Glee! When Steve Carell leaves, the show should just focus on Andy. He was great in this episode. I've always enjoyed Ed Helms, and I've gotten to like Andy a lot more over the years. It's hard to believe he's the same guy with anger-management issues back in season 3. Rating: 5 balloons
October 10th, 2010, 10:32 p.m. - If only I could've posted this at 10:10
October 16th, 2010, 12:24 p.m. - Whatever, Mercedes and Santana's "River Deep, Mountain High" was clearly the best duet
The Amazing Race - "In Phil We Trust": Nice idea to have a non-elimination leg so early in the race, since no one saw it coming (least of all Michael and Kevin). But my favorite part of the episode was Gary and Mallory quietly and steadily taking themselves from last place all the way to second. That's what good teamwork, paying attention, and making good choices will get you. Interesting that Nick, not Thomas, is proving to be the jerk of the season, though I don't think Chad is too far behind. Also interesting: no matter how different each season's racers are from previous contestants, there are always a few who DON'T READ THE DANG CLUE. Rating: 4 teams who switched tasks without even trying Language Arts for more than five seconds
Desperate Housewives - "Truly Content": Susan's plot is the one that's doing the least for me now. I wonder how much longer James Denton (remember when he was Jamie Denton, back on The Pretender? And he was missing a thumb? And he got to do stuff?) will let himself be in only two unimportant scenes a week before he moves on to something else. I mean, look at Carlos and Tom. They get to have plotlines and everything. Denton gets to make eyes at Teri Hatcher and wear plaid. Rating: 3 busted sprinkler heads
House - "Massage Therapy": I'm sorry, a doctor with a background in psychology has a patient with hallucinations and suggests that she has bipolar disorder? NO, YOU IDIOT. No way House would let someone hire a doctor for his team without vetting her himself. It was a stupid contrivance for a stupid plot. If they want us to care about Chase, we're going to have to see him for more than...well, more than the amount of screentime James Denton gets in an episode. On the plus, side, I liked that the patient didn't actually have some mysterious illness with weird symptoms. That was a nice twist. Rating: 3 gay masseurs who used to be soap actors and now do insurance commercials (hi, Eddie Matos! Remember when you almost got to do something on General Hospital?)
How I Met Your Mother - "Subway Wars": I really liked this episode and was going to give it a 5, but I subtracted a point for the Bing product placement. Too much. Rating: 4 Maury Poviches
Glee - "Duets": This felt more like a first-season episode than any we've seen this season. I like Sam and Quinn together; they're cute. I just wish the show hadn't gone for "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" for Rachel and Finn's first duet. It's so predictable. And they missed the perfect opportunity for Rachel and Kurt to sing "Anything You Can Do." Rating: 4 breaksticks
America's Next Top Model - "Patrick Demarchelier": Nice editing here - up until panel, I definitely thought Chelsey would be going home. I call bull again on Ann getting called first for the fifth time, though. That's just ridiculous. Especially when Jane was so awesome. And no mention of the fact that she was in the bottom two last week and then rocked it out this week? I'm surprised. The editors just keep ignoring her existence. Rating: 4 too-tight shoes
Survivor - "Turf Wars": The theme this week on a bunch of shows seems to be freaking idiots. I mean...Tyrone? Really? That tribe deserves whatever happens to it next. Rating: 3 chickens
Grey's Anatomy - "Can't Fight Biology": Still really enjoying this season. Cristina and Meredith's friendship remains one of the highlights of the whole series. And I thought Lexie's feelings toward April and her closeness to Meredith were realistic. As I've said before, it's the relationships between the characters who make this show good. That's still the case. Rating: 4 worms
The Office - "Sex Ed": I laughed a number of times during this episode, but I didn't really feel good about it. Parts were good and parts were...eh. A lot of it felt uncomfortable. Rating: 3 pizza bribes
11:10 p.m. - He sure does
28. Skippy Dies (Paul Murray)
Up next: Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk (David Sedaris)
October 17th, 2010, 9:52 p.m. - Seriously, it's 80 degrees in here
October 18th, 2010, 11:26 p.m. - Animal lovers, beware!
29. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk (David Sedaris)
Up next: Faithful Place (Tana French)
October 23rd, 2010, 12:47 p.m. - Timothy Olyphant DOES look like Josh Duhamel!
The Amazing Race - "We Should Have Brought Gloves and Butt Pads": This was the perfect time for Connor and Jonathan to get eliminated, since they were thiiiiis close to becoming really annoying. This was a good leg - those on the first flight really got an advantage, but the tasks were designed so that anyone could pass anyone else (as we saw). The racers just need to be more careful about choosing tasks. Don't choose one just because it might be fun. Keep in mind which will be more difficult and take more time. It is a race, after all. Rating: 4 ice chairs
Desperate Housewives - "The Thing That Counts is What's Inside": Someone tell Teri Hatcher to put some clothes on. Rating: 3 ridiculously expensive purses
House - "Unplanned Parenthood": Even though House and Wilson aren't nearly as stupid as they acted in this episode, I liked their plot. I groaned when they thought Rachel hadn't actually swallowed a dime, so I liked the ending where Cuddy...found a dime. Nice. Rating: 4 dimes, of course
How I Met Your Mother - "Architect of Destruction": How did I never realize that Jennifer Morrison is...not a very good actress? 3 snakes
America's Next Top Model - "Francesco Carrozzini": Great episode. It's weird that I'd be kind of sad to see any of the remaining girls go, either because I like them or because I think they're too good to be eliminated this early. Well, except Liz, who's gotten really annoying. Rating: 4 ugly mustaches John Galliano should really shave off
Survivor - "Worse Case Scenario": Dang, these people are dumb. VOTE OUT MARTY, YOU IDIOTS. Rating: 3 unused idols
Grey's Anatomy - "Almost Grown": This episode was just a lawsuit waiting to happen. Who decided it was okay for these people to perform brain surgery?? And Webber really should have gone with Bailey's plan. Poor Bailey. Rating: 4 eggs
The Office - "The Sting": I laughed so many times during this episode that I had to give it a 5. Meredith was especially amusing. And I love that Mindy Kaling wrote the episode and only gave herself two lines, but they were probably the best lines in the episode ("Josh Duhamel" and "f&#% me"). Rating: 5 glasses of milk Phyllis was reminded to drink
October 24th, 2010, 10:42 p.m. - I didn't realize "Fast Forward taken" was so ambiguous
"'Here's Your Fish, and Here's Your Chainsaw'"
October 30th, 2010, 12:38 p.m. - "Give me some chocolate or I will cut you"
The Amazing Race - "Tastes Like a Million Dollars": At the rate Kat & Nat and Brook & Claire are going, it's actually likely we could have an all-female team win this season. And I would be very happy if Kat and Nat won. The two of them, Gary & Mallory, and Michael & Kevin are the three teams I'm rooting for. The others are all meh or too annoying to care about. Rating: 3 sheep's heads
Desperate Housewives - "Let Me Entertain You": Booooooring. And do we really have to do an Alzheimer's story? Rating: 3 macaroons
How I Met Your Mother - "Baby Talk": Some clever stuff in this episode. I liked the double meaning of the title. This was another episode that really showed how much of an ensemble show this is. Rating: 4 lemons
Glee - "The Rocky Horror Glee Show": I liked parts of this, but it was kind of overshadowed by my inability to stop thinking about how there are probably no high schools in this country that would ever let the students put on The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Ever. We weren't even allowed to do Grease. (We were, however, allowed to do Man of La Mancha, which involves a woman practically getting raped onstage, but that's another story.) I think the show needs to step away from the theme episodes and just go with good, strong songs and much stronger storylines. Sue, however, can just keep doing whatever she wants. Rating: 3 pieces of chocolate I would definitely give Becky, not just because I don't want her to cut me, but because she's awesome
America's Next Top Model - "Zac Posen": The episodes where they film commercials are always entertaining, because you know there's always going to be at least one girl who totally loses it. Is anyone shocked that it was Ann? Actually, the real shock for me was that Chris did so well. She could be a threat to win. A Kayla/Chris final two? I could get behind that. Rating: 5 bottles of a fake brand of water
Survivor - "What Goes Around, Comes Around": This whole season has been...meh. There just aren't enough likable people for me to really get invested. I hope the merge coming up shakes things up a lot. Rating: 3 horses
Grey's Anatomy - "These Arms of Mine": Another strong episode in a strong season. I loved the documentary feel and how different this episode was from what we usually see. I also love that Alex, who has always been a solid doctor, and whom Justin Karev has consistently made interesting, even when he's a jerk, is really coming into his own. He's one of the more compelling characters on TV right now. Rating: 5 Nicole tattoos
The Office - "Costume Contest": All of the Michael stuff was blah, but I laughed so hard at the opening scene with everyone doing stuff to Stanley, I almost cried. Rating: 5 cardboard computer screens
10:42 p.m. - So who will be the next protagonist?
30. Faithful Place (Tana French)
Up next: finally getting around to The Help (Kathryn Stockett)
October 31st, 2010, 10:27 p.m. - Amazingly, there were actually costumes
This book took FOREVER to read. And it couldn't decide if it was a comedy or a drama. On the other hand, I flipping love Dennis Hoey.
I'm not sure what other author would give you stories that feature chickens contemplating existentialism, alcoholic cats, and storks discussing where babies come from. Some parts are quirky, but most are kind of disturbing. So seriously, animal lovers, stay away.
This is the third in French's series about Dublin undercover officers, but each is really a stand-alone, narrated by a different officer, and they don't need to be read in order to be enjoyed. (The other characters aren't even mentioned in this one.) Faithful Place is a good read, but not as good as the second in the series, The Likeness. Though that one was fantastic, so it's not really a fair comparison. Reading this one was almost like studying a new language; there was so much Irish slang that I felt like I was taking an immersion course. There's a mystery, but it's not as interesting as the characters. Is it weird that I hope French skips the police stuff in the fourth and goes with nine-year-old Holly as her protagonist?