October, 2011
October 2nd, 2011, 4:36 p.m. - "Darryl! A girl!"
The Amazing Race - "Kindness of Strangers": I feel like I didn't get a good read on any of the racers. I don't know who I'm rooting for yet. Except I know I'm not rooting for Liz and Marie. Shut up, Liz. Rating: 4 lost passports
How I Met Your Mother - "Ducky Tie": I think I'm going to enjoy looking for the ducky tie the rest of the season. Rating: 4 shrimps in the pocket
Glee - "I Am Unicorn": Only three songs? Disappointing. And I still don't think they should do West Side Story. Rating: 3 audition scaffolds
Ringer - "If You Ever Want a French Lesson": I'm worried that the same themes will continue all season: Bridget thinks Machado has busted her, Andrew notices something off about Bridget, etc. On the other hand, how long can they keep this up? Rating: 3 pregnancy tests
Survivor - "Reap What You Sow": Way to vote off the most likable person, guys. Hardly anyone else has a personality. On the other hand, Coach isn't annoying this season (at least so far), so that's a plus. Rating: 3 prayers in the form of spoken-word poems
America's Next Top Model - "Kristin Cavallari": Rock on, Allison! Could you give Kayla some help? She's not doing well, and I don't want to see her go. Rating: 3 stilts
Modern Family - "Phil on Wire": Dang, that dog is cute. Almost as cute as the new Lily. Rating: 4 bags of chocolate
Project Runway - "Sew '70s": I thought Anthony was going to win the whole season! But yeah, his designs in this challenge were ridiculous. I also thought Viktor would win this week. I didn't like Anya's jumpsuit (seriously, what's up with the jumpsuits this season), but she deserved a win if only because of her horrible luck. Rating: 3 pieces of dyed muslin
Grey's Anatomy - "Take the Lead": Poor Bailey. Owen should watch his back. I'm surprised she didn't ask (or Webber didn't tell her) why Owen was chosen over her as chief of surgery, though Owen seems to be doing well in the position. I felt like that was the only part of the episode that didn't fit together the way it should have. Rating: 4 books Webber is reading
The Office - "The Incentive": Yep, I don't miss Steve Carell at all. Rating: 4 tattoos
10:01 p.m. - Okay, people. Let's try paying attention, shall we?
October 3rd, 2011, 11:09 p.m. - What's black and white and red all over?
25. The Night Circus (Erin Morgenstern)
Up next: The End of Everything (Megan Abbott)
October 7th, 2011, 6:28 p.m. - So many bird puns I could use...
October 9th, 2011, 3:41 p.m. - "This is my sexy zombie nurse!"
The Amazing Race - "The Sprint of Our Lives": The RNO writers had a long conversation about how eight out of 11 teams didn't see the sign at the orphanage that told them to hand over all their money. Mostly we were trying to figure out who to blame. I'm not sure exactly where the fault lies, but as far as I'm concerned, eight teams screwed up. That's really, really bad. By the way, I'm still not sure who I'm rooting for. Maybe Ernie and Cindy. Rating: 3 clues the racers shouldn't have gotten if they didn't complete the task, but whatever
How I Met Your Mother - "The Stinson Missile Crisis": I really liked Kal Penn in this episode. I'm glad he'll be on more this season. I also liked the storytelling method this episode used. Because Robin is awesome. Rating: 4 Team Baby shirts
House - "Twenty Vicodin": I like the new doctor, at least so far. Interesting how House isn't as annoying when he's surrounded by his coworkers. Rating: 4 crickets
Glee - "Asian F": I really felt for Mercedes this week, because I've been where she is, feeling like your talent isn't being recognized because someone else is overshadowing you. But I've also been where Rachel is, having your talent recognized while other people are upset about being overlooked. In the end, I fall on Rachel's side. Mercedes has the right to be upset, but she handled things poorly. And this might be the last time I ever side with Rachel on something. By the way, "ginger supremacists" was funny until they took it too far. Rating: 4 times I said out loud that Harry Shum, Jr. is awesome
Ringer - "It's Gonna Kill Me, But I'll Do It": Loved the twists this week. Just when I was starting to wonder if they would keep doing the same thing over and over.... Rating: 4 ridiculous outfits they keep putting Sarah Michelle Gellar in
Survivor - "Survivalism": I'm enjoying watching Coach and Brandon's tribe slowly implode. These are the things that amuse me. Rating: 3 bean bags
America's Next Top Model - "Anthony Zuiker": I've been saying Camille is boring all season! I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought so. I think she was trying to tone herself down from her original cycle, and she went too far. Everyone else is being herself, no matter how annoying that is. ANGELEA. Rating: 4 times Lisa swore during her CSI scene
Modern Family - "Door to Door": I've been waiting for someone to shout Stella's name like that since the dog came on the show. I'm so glad Cam got to be the one to do it. I usually have a complicated relationship with David Cross - loved him on Arrested Development, not so much in other things - but I liked him here. I'm just not sure how he'll fit in as a recurring character. Rating: 3 non-ice cream cakes
Project Runway - "This Is for the Birds": This whole season is for the birds. Rating: 3 parrots
Grey's Anatomy - "What Is It About Men": I almost didn't notice the characters who WEREN'T in the episode (in other words, all the women) because, as I've said before, this show does so well as an ensemble drama because all of the actors are strong. In other news, BEN! YAY FOR BEN! Rating: 4 uneven decks
The Office - "Lotto": ...Eh. Darryl deserves better. Rating: 3 boxes of paper
4:25 p.m. - I want to write like this
26. The End of Everything (Megan Abbott)
Up next: The Most Dangerous Thing (Laura Lippman)
October 10th, 2011, 12:18 p.m. - The best part of this show is that stupidity is punished
October 14th, 2011, 6:13 p.m. - I'm so bored
October 16th, 2011, 4:44 p.m. - Luke's lunch-money racket just gave a bunch of kids a brilliant idea
The Amazing Race - "Don't Lay Down on Me Now": Can we get more character development, please? I don't know anything about these people. I don't even have a favorite team, which never happens. This season has been dull so far. Rating: 3 ill-behaved sheep
How I Met Your Mother - "Field Trip": Still liking Kal Penn. Can we wrap up the Ted/GNC plot now? Rating: 3 pieces of cake
House - "Transplant": I'm sure Charlene Yi is a lovely person, but she's not the greatest dramatic actress. And why do we need another new character? Whatever, at least it's another woman. Rating: 3 punches in the face
Ringer - "A Whole New Kind of B*&$%": Ooh, things are really interesting now! I mean, I doubt Gemma's actually dead, but still! And if she is dead, who would have expected Malcolm to outlive her? Rating: 4 bloody handprints
Survivor - "Taste the Victory": Nice blindside. The editing didn't even lead on that Elyse was going to go over Cochran. Mostly since Elyse has done...nothing all season. Though at least she's done more than Rick. (Half the people watching the show just said, "Who?") Rating: 4 disgusting slabs of meat
America's Next Top Model - "LaToya Jackson": No one's going home? What a cop-out. This week made no sense. I never thought I'd side with Bianca on anything, but Shannon is a little bit crazy, and Lisa is a lot bit crazy, so Bianca comes off looking sane. And that makes the least sense of all. Rating: 4 Kardashians
Modern Family - "Hit and Run": Ariel Wynter wins this week's prize for best acting; she did an excellent job with the physical comedy when she had to pretend to be doped up on cough syrup. Rating: 4 fake IDs
Project Runway - "The Finale Challenge": This season sucks. Just give Anya the prize already. And not just because I want to see Josh's head explode. Rating: 3 circles
Grey's Anatomy - "Love, Loss and Legacy": Dear Debbie Allen, please never stop being awesome. Dear people who didn't watch that show that was basically Grey's Anatomy in the tropics, thank you, because we got Jason George back. Rating: 4 veins April destroyed
The Office - "Garden Party": This was possibly the weirdest episode ever. Some parts were really funny, and some were just too bizarre. By the way, when did Jim write and publish a book? Rating: 3 toasts
10:26 p.m. - Okay, so maybe I'm rooting for Andy and Tommy
October 21st, 2011, 6:38 p.m. - Josh, SHUT UP
"Three to Get Ready and Four to Go"
October 23rd, 2011, 2:29 p.m. - There's a guy on Survivor named Rick? Are you sure?
The Amazing Race - "This Is Gonna Be a Fine Mess": Seriously, Andy and Tommy for the win. This is theirs to lose now. Which means they probably will. Whatever, as long as Liz and Marie are the next out. Rating: 3 beach chairs
Homeland - "Pilot"/"Grace"/"Clean Skin": I shotgunned all three episodes last night and immediately got addicted. It's a nice psychological thriller that's different from anything else on TV. All of the actors are great. Basically, if you've heard the hype and want to know if the show lives up to it, it does. Rating: 4 ridiculously expensive necklaces
How I Met Your Mother - "Mystery vs. History": "Survivor guilt" was probably the funniest thing I saw on TV all week. Rating: 4 layers of yellow paint
House - "Charity Case": 'Bye, Thirteen! Stay gone, mmkay? Rating: 3 pairs of shoes
Ringer - "The Poor Kids Do It Everyday [sic]": Two great twists at the end! And Jason Dohring! Best episode yet! Rating: 4 $20 bills
Survivor - "Free Agent": People. Brandon is crazy. Vote him off. Do it now, before the merge or the jury phase, and you won't have to deal with him again (because apparently Christine is never going to lose a duel). Rating: 3 shuffleboard disks
America's Next Top Model - "Coco Rocha": I was surprised Bre was eliminated. But as someone (Lisa, I think) noted, the level of talent this season is higher than usual, so even the good models may not be good enough. Coco was a great addition this week, and I liked the idea of having the girls work with an actual successful model. She was a good choice for that. Rating: 5 footballs
Modern Family - "Go Bullfrogs!": None of the storylines really interested me, but a so-so episode of Modern Family is still better than half of what's on TV now. I did enjoy Jay watching Gloria's soap. Rating: 3 lunch trays
Project Runway - "Finale, Part 1": My entire season of not caring is almost over. It'll be nice to start caring again. Rating: 3 cheers for this season almost being over
Grey's Anatomy - "Poker Face": So...Meredith and Derek are okay now? When did that happen? In other news, April is awesome. You go drink beer and flirt with boys! You've earned it! Rating: 3 pairs of pink scrubs
6:31 p.m. - I don't get the title either, Washington Post
27. The Most Dangerous Thing (Laura Lippman)
Up next: 20th Century Ghosts (Joe Hill)
9:33 p.m. - That's right, the show ended 15 minutes ago and we already have the recap up. That's how we do it in the RNO
October 28th, 2011, 6:15 p.m. - On the plus side, I didn't have to scream
October 30th, 2011, 5:38 p.m. - Bazinga!
The Amazing Race - "I Feel Like I'm in the Circus": Aaaand I'm not longer Team Andy and Tommy. Guys, keep your comments about religion to yourselves. I much prefer what Jennifer said: She's not Buddhist, but she's going to respect the views of the people she comes across because she wouldn't want them to disrespect her. Thank you for not being an ugly American, Jennifer. (Just a bratty sister.) Rating: 3 spirit houses
Homeland - "Semper I": Did anyone think Brody WASN'T going to shoot the deer? Also, I kind of suspected he was on to Jessica and Mike. And I also kind of suspected that Estes is a little untrustworthy. At this point, the one character whose moves I can't predict is Carrie. Talk about a complex character. Rating: 3 American flags
How I Met Your Mother - "Noretta": I read an interview with Nazanin Boniadi just before I watched this episode, and it made me like her even more. I'm glad they've kept her around. Same with Kal Penn, though they need to flesh his character out a little more. This episode was a cameoapalooza, but it needed more...something. It fell flat. Rating: 3 letters to Weird Al
Survivor - "Trojan Horse": Ozzy, you are a dumb, dumb man. Please continue being dumb so I can keep laughing at you. Rating: 4 plugs for an awful-looking movie
America's Next Top Model - "Kathy Griffin": Kayla and Bianca over Shannon? What drugs are the judges on? Rating: 4 pickles
The Big Bang Theory - "The Good Guy Fluctuation": I recently started watching this show, and now I'm obsessed with it. The main plot this week was ho-hum, but I loved Sheldon trying to come up with ways to scare the other guys. The scene at the end with him popping out of the couch was genius. Rating: 3 snakes
Project Runway - "Finale, Part 2": Thank goodness that's over. What a disappointing season. The all-star season better be ten times better than this. Rating: 2 zzzzzzz
Grey's Anatomy - "Put Me In, Coach": I can't pick my favorite part. It's a competition between Meredith and Cristina getting drunk in the outfield, Teddy being overly enthusiastic about playing softball, Alex being awesome, Lexie pegging Mark's new girlfriend in the breast with a softball, and Cristina "graduating" from Teddy's tutelage. Actually, this episode was one of the few where I felt Teddy was put to good use. I kind of like her and Henry together. Rating: 5 wood carvings
The Office - "Spooked": I cracked up when Pam drew Jim a picture of a hand giving the finger. Everything else was meh. Rating: 3 weapons Dwight isn't allowed to have in the office
11:17 p.m. - Now we know why Laurence's kids keep sailing around the world: to get away from him
Would it be cheesy of me to call this magical? Because it was. Not perfect, but definitely magical. My only real problem was that I thought Bailey's story needed more development. But the love story is wonderful, and...you know, seriously, I'm sticking with "magical."
I love how Abbott uses language. It's like reading a poem. The story itself seems simple, but she makes it much more than it appears.
Show, don't tell, Lippman. This book was 200 pages longer than it should have been.