October, 2012
October 6th, 2012, 2:18 p.m. - Lily: "You thought a ghost made your toast." Marshall: "I didn't put the bread in! You didn't put the bread in!"
The Amazing Race - "Double Your Money": No matter how many twists or new things they introduce to this show, one thing will never change: People will continue to FAIL TO READ THE CLUE. And some of them will have to eat extra helpings of frog fallopian tubes as a result. Rating: 3 clipboards used as ping pong paddles
Homeland - "The Smile": Speaking of things that will never change: Shut up, Dana. Rating: 4 hidden safes
How I Met Your Mother - "The Pre-Nup": For some reason, my favorite part of this episode was Arthur getting Tugboat back. Isn't Tugboat an awesome name for a dog? Rating: 3 German sitcom episodes
The Big Bang Theory - "The Decoupling Fluctuation": A lot of moments in this episode made me laugh out loud, especially the scene with Sheldon and Penny in her bedroom. She may be at her funniest when she's frustrated with him. Which is always, of course. Rating: 4 drawings on Howard's face
Glee - "The Break Up": Depressing! Great music, though. The performance of "The Scientist" was perfect. Lea Michele was incredibly impressive in the Rachel/Finn breakup scene. And Darren Criss might want to start picking out an outfit to wear when he wins an Emmy. Rating: 5 bullets removed from Finn's leg (though I'd like to forget about that completely unrealistic plot point)
Grey's Anatomy - "Remember the Time": In retrospect, watching this right after I watched Glee was a bad idea. Talk about a depressing evening. But I loved the structure of this episode, taking pieces of the story and telling it out of order but still giving us the whole picture. And as annoying as Arizona is being (it's understandable, yes, but she's still bugging me), I thought Jessica Capshaw gave her best performance to date in this episode. Rating: 5 pieces of pineapple pizza
America's Next Top Model - "The Girl Who Licks the Floor": Aw, I actually liked Allyssa. You know, for the five minutes of screen time she got this season. But of course it wasn't going to be her staying over Laura. Even if Allyssa had to battle cockroaches this week. Rating: 4 wind farms
October 7th, 2012, 12:27 p.m. - Or, Multiple Visits from Multiple Goons
37. A Visit from the Goon Squad (Jennifer Egan)
Up next: The Keep (Jennifer Egan)
October 11th, 2012, 9:46 p.m. - Ladies and gentlemen, the most dramatic book jacket ever
38. The Keep (Jennifer Egan)
Up next: The Prophet (Michael Koryta)
October 13th, 2012, 12:42 p.m. - "Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you're William Hurt"
The Amazing Race - "Long Hair, Don't Care": I haven't picked anyone to root for yet, but so far, the teams I thought would do well are doing well. Um, except Amy and Daniel. Oops! Now we just need more people to make stupid decisions so I can mock them. Rating: 3 huge blocks of ice
Homeland - "Beirut Is Back": The fact that the second episode of the season had a scene tense enough to fit into a season finale is a great sign. No sophomore slump here! I also have to assume that the scene in the situation room during the possible assassination were supposed to resemble the photos we've seen of the real-life situation room during bin Laden's assassination, which is brilliant beyond words. Rating: 4 videos that are going to get Brody into SO much trouble
How I Met Your Mother - "Nannies": I declare Marvin the third-cutest kid on TV. (First is still Zola from Grey's Anatomy. Second is Emma from General Hospital.) I also declare Mickey the least compelling recurring character on any TV show. Can he leave now, please? Rating: 3 pieces of Bangtober merch
Modern Family - "Schooled": Loved the lesbian couple – I hope they come back. I also hope Haley isn't relegated to Skype conversations all season, because that will get old fast. Like, so fast that it's already old. Rating: 4 copies of Phil'sosophies, which I would totally buy
Modern Family - "Snip": If I hadn't read that Cam was going to end up working at Manny's school, I...probably would have figured it out anyway. Everything else was good, though. Rating: 3 packed suitcases
The Big Bang Theory - "The Higgs Boson Observation": Of course Amy was jealous of a woman working with Sheldon – all women everywhere get jealous of their partners' co-workers who happen to be of the opposite gender! Even when those women are completely confident and secure in their relationships! Because girls are silly, and all women want to hook up with their co-workers! Shut up, show. You only won me over with Howard's space madness, the only good part of that storyline. Rating: 3 journals from Sheldon's childhood
Degrassi - "Building a Mystery, Part 1": So...Eli has never seen American Beauty, huh? P.S. Writers, please give Luke at least one redeeming quality. You did it with Owen, and I didn't think that was possible, so I'm sure you can find something. Rating: 3 joints
October 21st, 2012, 5:08 p.m. - A for effort
39. The Prophet (Michael Koryta)
Up next: State of Wonder (Ann Patchett)
8:16 p.m. - "I feel like I just watched the tape from The Ring"
The Amazing Race - "There's No Crying in Baseball": It's hard to feel sorry for someone's elimination when that someone had a classic ugly-American moment just minutes earlier. Farewell, blondes I never bothered to learn to tell apart. I won't miss you. Rating: 4 eggs
Homeland - "State of Independence": Even with the scene in the woods being slightly laughable, the show is 3 for 3 this season. And Claire Danes has probably already sewn up another Emmy win. Rating: 5 pills
How I Met Your Mother - "Who Wants to Be a Godparent?": Let's forget about the part that it didn't make sense for Robin to have to compete to be a godparent since usually there's a godmother and a godfather, and it's not like Marshall and Lily had someone else in mind who Robin would have to beat out. It was still a funny episode. I didn't, however, find it realistic for Marshall to tell the others that Marvin's the only thing that matters. I was still mostly on his and Lily's side, though. Aren't they all a little old to be staying out late at the bar every single night? Rating: 4 shiny dresses to make Lily feel pretty
Modern Family - "The Butler's Escape": Eric Stonestreet tweeted earlier in the week that this was one of his favorite episodes to tape. I don't know why. I didn't think it was any better than any other episode, and in fact, it was kind of dull in places. I don't care that Gloria snores. There, I said it! Rating: 3 treble clef sweaters
The Big Bang Theory - "The Re-Entry Minimization": I don't really care about Howard all that much, but the game-night stuff was awesome. Rating: 4 blueberry pies
Grey's Anatomy - "Love the One You're With": I really like Cristina's relationship with her mentor at Mayo. I also like how Callie has become more of a presence on the show, because Sara Ramirez is awesome. Rating: 4 airplane pieces
America's Next Top Model - "The Girl Who Comes Back": Aww, Brittany. There's just no competing with the crazy. Rating: 4 cliffhangers
Degrassi - "Building a Mystery, Part 2": Why doesn't Jake get a storyline? More Jake! Rating: 3 tickets to Vegas (I guess we know what this season's spring break movie will be about)
October 27th, 2012, 2:52 p.m. - "It was a compromise. I lost"
The Amazing Race - "Funky Monkey": Thank you for the satisfying ending, show. Something about those guys bugged me, so I'm not sad at all to see them go. Now can we get rid of the twins? Please? Rating: 4 red and yellow fish
Homeland - "New Car Smell": And that's what we call a game-changer. I'm so glad I never sought out spoilers for this show. It's so much more fun to be surprised. And I never would have expected things to take the turn they did. Rating: 5 night trips to the Washington Monument
Modern Family - "Open House of Horrors": Dear show, I don't care about Jay and Gloria. Fix that. And I don't care about Manny's experiences with his classmates. But I did like the Claire/Phil stuff. Now can you please give Alex more to do? Rating: 3 white suits
The Big Bang Theory - "The Holographic Excitation": Hee, Raggedy R2D2. I really liked Penny and Leonard's plotline. The "joke" for six seasons has been that Penny doesn't understand science, so she doesn't appreciate what Leonard does for a living. This was a great way to show her getting it and liking it. Howard was annoying in this episode, but the tag at the end was the perfect way to wrap it up. Rating: 4 Mars Bars
Grey's Anatomy - "I Saw Her Standing There": Hello, magical prosthetist. I will not forget that you once starred in Can't Hardly Wait. No, I will not forget. Rating: 4 Old Fashioneds
America's Next Top Model - "The Girls Go to Jamaica": Hey, look, the crazy went away! Even though no one likes Kiara! This show is weird! But I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Nastasia is better than she seems. I still think she's a dark horse and could take this whole thing. Rating: 3 expensive necklaces that looked like children's arts-and-crafts projects
Degrassi - "Doll Parts, Part 1": Pssst, Marisol. He obviously has diabetes. Chill out. Rating: 3 tiaras
October 29th, 2012, 4:25 p.m. - In a nutshell...
40. State of Wonder (Ann Patchett)
Up next: "Who Could That Be at This Hour?" (Lemony Snicket)
A Visit from the Goon Squad is less a novel than a series of linked stories, some starring more compelling characters than others. I would have liked more development on some of them and zero from some of them. Oh, well. I'll try another Egan and see if I like it better.
Both good and frustrating. Threads are dropped, and the entire third section is about a character who had no development in the first two parts and who I frankly didn't care enough about to want an entire section on. I think I'm done with Egan.
A pretty good/slightly-better-than-average thriller with a letdown ending. Also, why is there a dead bird on the cover?
A well-written story that goes nowhere. Also, shut up, Dr. Swenson.