October, 2017
October 7th, 2017, 1:13 p.m. - "It was like meeting myself in 30 years. Turns out I really held up"
Ghosted – "Pilot": I didn't like this as much as I'd hoped I would, but I'll give it at least one more shot. It definitely has a lot of potential. Rating: 3 SAT-prep books with video games hidden inside
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "The Big House, Part 2": Even if I didn't love this episode as much as I did, I might still give it a 5 just for seeing Jake on meth. That was highly, highly memorable. Rating: 5 bars of soap that secretly contain meth
The Mayor – "Pilot": I'd been looking forward to this show since I read about it months ago, and every time I read a good review (there were a lot), I got more and more excited. It definitely lived up to all the hype. Brandon Micheal Hall needs to be a breakout star now. Rating: 4 index cards used to make a portrait
Speechless – "F-I-FIRST S-E-SECOND F-FIRST DAY": Dylan remains the under-the-radar scene-stealer of the show, and I continue to love her for it. Rating: 4 shampoos Jimmy couldn't choose between
Modern Family – "The Long Goodbye": VANESSA WILLIAMS. I LOVE YOU, VANESSA WILLIAMS. That is all. Rating: 4 rock-paper-scissors robots
The Good Place – "Team Cockroach": Special credit for "do not talk again for 100 years" and distracting Jason with something shiny. Rating: 4 sparklers
Will and Grace – "Who's Your Daddy": Much, much better than last week – this had the feel of the best episodes from the past. Sean Hayes was especially good with all the physical comedy. Rating: 4 hazardous showers
4:15 p.m. - Yes, yes, choices affect our lives, etc.
32. Young Jane Young (Gabrielle Zevin)
Up next: All the Missing Girls (Megan Miranda)
October 14th, 2017, 1:27 p.m. - "And another thing: Pat Sajak. I just don't like him"
Ghosted – "Bee-Mo": I liked this a lot more than the pilot, so I feel better about the show now. Adam Scott and Craig Robinson really do have great buddy-cop chemistry. I think Amber Stevens West is going to turn out to be an unexpected scene-stealer. Rating: 4 zombie cats
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "Kicks": The Rosa/Pimento/Amy/Terry stuff was meh, but everything else was great. Jake has shown a lot of character growth over the years, and I love it. Rating: 4 pairs of sneakers
The Mayor – "The Filibuster": So Dina's going to end up being the smartest person on the show every week? I'm cool with that. Rating: 4 recorders
Speechless – "J-J'S D-R-DREAM": I only wish that at the end of the episode, the guy they kept calling Undercover Boss had revealed that he really was doing Undercover Boss, and everyone had reacted with disinterest. I feel like they missed an opportunity to carry that joke through. Rating: 4 fake charities
Modern Family – "Catch of the Day": Pam's leaving soon, right? She only works in small doses, and even then...eh. Rating: 4 copies of To Kill a Mockingbird
Supernatural – "Lost and Found": Aww, I liked that sassy new angel. Why do they always kill the likable angels? Rating: 4 "you mess with the bull, you get the horns" worn by Lucifer's son, hee hee hee
The Good Place – "Existential Crisis": This show does especially well with details, like how their version of Build-a-Bear Workshop is building an actual bear. Come on, that's brilliant! Rating: 4 tattoos that are Chinese for "Japan"
Will and Grace – "Emergency Contact": Aaaaand I'm bored again. Rating: 3 unnecessary solos
October 15th, 2017, 3:05 p.m. - Megan Miranda, you have won me over
33. All the Missing Girls (Megan Miranda)
Up next: Keep Her Safe (Sophie Hannah)
October 21st, 2017, 11:56 a.m. - Sophie Hannah, you have not won me over
34. Keep Her Safe (Sophie Hannah)
Up next: Gather the Daughters (Jennie Melamed)
October 22nd, 2017, 3:58 p.m. - "My name is Kierkegaard and my writing is impeccable / Check out my teleological suspension of the ethical"
Ghosted – "Whispers": If nothing else, this show is killing it with music selections. Best use of Walking in Memphis since The X-Files. Rating: 3 tattoos Natalie really should have tried better to hide
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – "HalloVeen": Even setting aside the awesome proposal, this is definitely the best of the Halloween episodes. Fingers crossed that there are more to come. Rating: 5 fake Cheddars
The Mayor – "Buyer's Remorse": T.K. may end up being my favorite character. Love that guy. Rating: 4 not-yet-unpacked offices
Speechless – "T-R-TRAINING D-A-DAY": This was...fine. Nothing bad, just nothing that memorable. J.J. proved how smart he is, though. Rating: 3 bats somehow hidden in Ray's bag
Modern Family – "Sex, Lies & Kickball": See above re: not bad, but not that memorable. It would have been funnier to see Pepper and Ronaldo have to adjust to Lionel, instead of the other way around. Rating: 3 paintings I really don't want to think about
Supernatural – "The Rising Son": I'm more interested in the alternate universe than I am in the regular one right now. Mostly because I heard there's an Alterna-Kevin, and I can't wait to meet him. Rating: 3 Bibles
The Good Place – "The Trolley Problem": Michael's so much more fun now that he doesn't have to hide his evilness. Good luck getting into the Good Place, though, buddy. Rating: 4 couples-counseling sessions with Janet
Will and Grace – "Grandpa Jack": This show hasn't always hit the right notes in serious moments, but this time around, they definitely did. P.S. Michael Angarano looks like that because of I'm Dying Up Here and not because he wants to, right? Rating: 4 Sia costumes
October 28th, 2017, 11:39 a.m. - Girls gone wild
35. Gather the Daughters (Jennie Melamed)
Up next: Hunger (Roxane Gay)
October 29th, 2017, 3:41 p.m. - "Honey! I think I'm woke!"
Ghosted – "Lockdown": I'm still not completely sold on the show, but if every episode has the energy of this one, I'll end up really liking it. Rating: 4 water coolers
The Mayor – "City Hall-oween": I'm telling you, T.K. is going to steal the show. He's absolutely my favorite. Rating: 4 hidden stashes of candy
Speechless – "N-I-NIGHTMARES ON D-I-DIMEO S-STREET": I was skeptical of the plot at the beginning, but it ended up being fun. Speaking of stealing the show, hi, Cedric Yarbrough! You're awesome! Rating: 4 electric shocks
Modern Family – "It's the Great Pumpkin, Phil Dunphy": Like Phil and Claire have ever cared what people think of them. Please. Rating: 3 pumpkin boats
Supernatural – "Patience": I really liked Patience and the actress playing her, so I'm glad she'll be in the spin-off. Also, Missouri is no longer my favorite single-episode my character, and is now my favorite two-episode character. (R.I.P., Missouri. I'll always remember you fondly.) Rating: 4 pencils Jack couldn't move
The Good Place – "Janet and Michael": Another show, another show-stealer. Put D'Arcy Carden in more things! Rating: 4 spoons
Will and Grace – "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying": If the season is going to continue to be this inconsistent, next week's episode should be great! Rating: 3 lottery scratchers
This would have been better if it had been written in a different format. Take out the Rachel, Embeth, and Ruby sections, and just tell the story from Jane/Aviva's perspective. It also would have been better if Ruby hadn't been such a mess. How can someone be so mature and so clueless at the same time?
Me at the beginning of the book: "Why is this told backwards? That sounds kind of dumb and unnecessary."
Me at the end: "...Never mind. That was kind of awesome."
Someone described this book as "needlessly complicated," which is exactly right. But I also couldn't stop reading. It was like sitting down and eating an entire bag of potato chips, knowing it's a bad idea. Then you get to the end and you're like, "Wow, there are a lot of crumbs left, and I'm really not satisfied."
Speaking of unsatisfying – after a book full of #resist rebellion, it takes a man to make an actual difference. Thanks for nothing.