September, 2008
September 1st, 2008, 10:28 a.m. - I can't believe I'm rooting for a secret alliance called the Renegades
9:46 p.m. - Paloma for the win!
September 3rd, 2008, 11:44 p.m. - Or "A Spy In the House of Fashion"
September 4th, 2008, 9:41 p.m. - Please stick around the entire season, Sheena
Big Brother - Week 8: Yeah, that wasn't surprising at all. Any of it, really. Keesha and Jerry will be on the block this week, and unless Jerry wins veto, he's most likely out of there. Which is fine with me, because anyone who calls someone else Judas has some problems. Rating: 3 sumo wrestlers
America's Next Top Model - "The Notorious Fierce 14/Top Model Inauguration": I almost hate admitting that I love this show, because it's just so cheesy, but come on. It's just so entertaining. I love Sheena, Isis, and Marjorie, and I can't wait for someone to take Clark down a peg or two. It's going to be a good season.
Here's some Top Model Math (I know, I know, those things don't go together):
Rating: 4 really cheesy graphics
Project Runway - "Double O Fashion": Eh. Boring. I just don't care about these people as much as people from past seasons. Rating: 3 teardrops that Kenley would not stop crying
September 7th, 2008, 11:12 p.m. - If only we'd gotten to call him Jessilla all season
September 8th, 2008, 9:27 p.m. - Sequel! I want a sequel!
45. You Want Fries With That? (Prioleau Alexander)
Up next: Beautiful Boy (David Sheff)
September 10th, 2008, 11:18 p.m. - Man, it feels like this season has been going on forever
September 12th, 2008, 6:04 p.m. - Awesome vs. not awesome at all
Big Brother - Week 9: For the first time since I started watching the show (and admittedly, it hasn't been very long, but still), I'm happy with the final two. I would be fine with either Memphis or Dan winning - both have played the game very well, and I kind of admire their loyalty to each other in bringing each other to the final two. As usual, it will come down to how bitter the jurors are. Rating: 4 hats I'm sick of Memphis wearing all the time
America's Next Top Model - "The Ladder of Model Success": Um, awesome. I loved all of it, from Hannah being Mean Girl-ed and comparing it to gang rape to Sheena lying and then coming clean about her fake breasts to Lauren Brie coming out of freaking nowhere to take the best picture. If only she would show some personality. Rating: 4 Photoshopped hot-air balloons
Project Runway - "What's Your Sign": That? Was bull. Terri was one of the best designers left. No way she should have gone home this week. How is Kenley still there? She's ridiculous. And how did Jerell win this week's challenge? Korto should be getting a lot more recognition than she is. I really think she might win. If she doesn't realize how dumb the judges are being and bail out early. Rating: 2 giant Mickey Mouse sleeves
September 14th, 2008, 6:51 p.m. - Insert some use of the word "beautiful" here
46. Beautiful Boy (David Sheff)
Up next: When Will There Be Good News? (Kate Atkinson)
10:17 p.m. - "How 'bout a crazy wedding? And something happens, doo-doo-doo-doo.... Sorry for the clip show!"
September 17th, 2008, 11:01 p.m. - Shut up, Kenley. You, too, Mini Kenley
"Mothers, Lock Up Your Daughters"
September 18th, 2008, 10:16 p.m. - One show ends and another begins
Big Brother - Week 10: Like I said before, I would have been fine with either Dan or Memphis winning, but somehow I think Dan deserved it more. (And it's not like Memphis is leaving empty-handed; he won that car in the first week, as well as $50,000 for coming in second.) Even though Dan ticked off a lot of people, they decided that he played the game well. That's really all it takes. Dan seems like a genuinely nice guy, and since he's a teacher, we know he doesn't have a ton of money, so at least we know the money is going to someone who could really use it. Rating: 4 surprisingly un-bitter jury members
House - "Dying Changes Everything": I've really grown to love this show. Even with so many underused or annoying characters. (I'm looking at you, Hadley.) Obviously Wilson won't be leaving forever, but I have to wonder if his decision will actually affect House for the better. Eh, probably not. This wasn't the strongest episode, and it's hard to see how the season will go, but a bad episode of House is still better than 95 percent of what's on TV. Rating: 3 hallucinated insects.
America's Next Top Model - "You're Beautiful, Now Change": Wow, some of those makeovers were just weird. Why did they change Elina at all? She was already hot. Now she looks weird. Lauren Brie was pretty much the only person who actually benefited from a makeover, and her change wasn't that major. I'm really happy that Analeigh wasn't eliminated because throughout the episode I started liking her more and more. I don't know how much longer she'll last, but it's nice to have a normal (seemingly, at least), nice, well-spoken person around. Well, other than Sheena. Rating: 4 Wal-Mart gift cards (for Hannah's sake, let's hope there are Wal-Marts in Alaska)
Project Runway - "Transformation": SHUT UP, KENLEY. Rating: 3 other people shouting the same at Kenley
September 20th, 2008, 10:56 p.m. - Oh, come ON!
47. When Will There Be Good News? (Kate Atkinson)
Up next: The Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins)
September 24th, 2008, 6:06 p.m. - Why am I always the only chick who participates in this?
September 25th, 2008, 8:53 a.m. - Seriously, shut it, Kenley
"A Little Bit Country, a Little Bit Rock and Roll"
September 26th, 2008, 11:04 p.m. - "That wasn't a tapeworm"
How I Met Your Mother - "Do I Know You?": A nice return. It was funny and sweet in all the right places, and of course, Neil Patrick Harris acted the heck out of it. I have no idea how many episodes Sarah Chalke is going to be in, but I hope it's a lot. I really like her on this show. I think her character is a lot more reliable than Elliott on Scrubs, not least because Stella has basically no annoying neuroses. Rating: 4 viewings of Star Wars, which I've never seen either
Heroes - "The Second Coming/The Butterfly Effect": I liked the pacing of these two episodes a lot. It's hard to maintain the same pacing through a whole season, which was one of the many problems Heroes had last season. Mohinder is still boring, and pairing him with Maya was a horrible idea, but I liked pretty much everything else. Getting to see Francis Capra and Kristen Bell have a tiny scene together was nice, too. Rating: 4 times everyone has been killed and brought back to life
House - "Not Cancer": Eh. I was actually pretty bored through this episode. I liked Michael Weston a lot, though. I was worried that his character would be like Tritter or Vogler (shudder), so I was very happy that he was so humorous and likable. The rest was really just a typical episode for me. Rating: 3 stem cells
America's Next Top Model - "Fierce Eyes": Hannah and Isis definitely needed to go. Hannah was never going to be anything other than awkward. And Isis just didn't have it. I'm glad they gave her a chance, though. I was also really happy that Analeigh redeemed herself this week. I'm starting to really love her. Rating: 4 bowling stilettos
Project Runway - "Rock N' Runway": I…I just…GAH! SHUT UP, KENLEY! Sorry. My head exploded. I should go clean that up. Rating: 3 little fur vests
Survivor - "Want to See the Elephant Dung?": I was actually surprised that in a two-hour episode, it didn't feel like there was any filler or any dragging moments. I was also surprised (pleasantly so) that Marcus and Matty weren't the annoying jerks I thought they'd be. (There's still time, of course.) My early favorite players are Crystal, Bob, and Dan. Here's hoping one of them can win. Rating: 4 apples
The Office - "Weight Loss": Finally, they figured out how to produce an hour-long episode without filler! I really liked this one. Everyone was just spot-on. And I know I'm a dork, but I thought the proposal was perfect. So cute and so them. Rating: 5 tapeworms
Grey's Anatomy - "Dream a Little Dream of Me": The good – Bailey once again pwned everyone and everything. Hunt is awesome. Kathy Baker acted the heck out of a role that's generally unsympathetic. Denny! Izzie was actually not annoying (and her hair looked really cute). Bernadette Peters apparently drinks the blood of virgins because dang, she looks good for 60 years old. Yes, I said 60. Can you believe that?
The bad – Webber and Sloan were mean. Derek was really annoying. Hunt isn't staying. Rose is a two-year-old. Are we really going the Lexie's-in-love-with-George route? Seriously? Rating: 4 icicles
September 28th, 2008, 4:58 p.m. - Want more! Want more now!
48. The Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins)
a) a character study in how far a human will go to protect him-/herself or a loved one.
Let's go with g, shall we?
Up next: The Year of Fog (Michelle Richmond)
11:13 p.m. - Shut up, Dan. Shut up, Tina. SHUT UP, TERENCE
Analeigh = Joanie from cycle 6 + Tamara Braun
Brittany = Jaslene from cycle 8
Clark = Mallory from The Real World Paris
Elina = Angelina Jolie + Elisha Cuthbert + a Bond girl
Hannah = Victoria from cycle 9 + Chloe Sevigny
Isis = Jaslene + Nik from cycle 5
Joslyn = Nik + Ellen Cleghorne
Lauren Brie = Sara from cycle 6 + Sarah from cycle 5
Marjorie = Sarah from cycle 8 + Audrey Tautou
McKey = Jenah from cycle 9 + Niki Taylor
Nikeysha = Nik + Saleisha from cycle 9
Samantha = Kimberly from cycle 10 + any generic blond from a teen drama on the CW
Sharaun = Bre from cycle 5 + Bianca from cycle 9
Sheena = Kimora Lee Simmons + Sandra Oh
This book is kind of like what happened when Morgan Spurlock and his girlfriend Alex lived on minimum wage for a month. Except longer. And a lot funnier. And Alexander's wife wasn't as on board. Alexander quit his job in advertising, then decided to take on some jobs that most people don't know much about - delivering pizzas, working in a fast-food joint, and scooping ice cream, to name a few. Though his accounts are hilarious, it's obvious that the experiences weren't very enjoyable. But Alexander came away with a ton of respect for the people who work minimum-wage jobs to survive, and I think readers will, too.
Sheff writes compellingly about his son Nic's struggles with meth addiction and his numerous relapses and attempts at recovery. He doesn't shy away from the details, making it perfectly clear that no matter how much you care about the people involved, they may not have a happy ending (and Sheff himself writes that he wishes he could have ended the book after a particularly positive moment). Nic wrote his own memoir of his experiences, Tweak, and though I don't plan to read it right now, it would fill in a lot of holes to hear what Nic was going through while his father was going through all of this.
You call those twists? Those aren't twists!
Pop quiz, hotshots. The Hunger Games is:
b) an indictment of TV (especially reality TV), with commentary on everything from ratings boosts to giving the viewers what they want to showmances.
c) really written for young adults, but kind of intense for most of them.
d) similar to the movie Series 7, as both are about reality TV competitions where people have to kill each other to survive.
e) sick, twisted, and intense.
f) one of the best books I've read this year.
g) all of the above.