"Deny, Deny, Deny"
Written by Krista Vernoff; directed by Adam Davidson

Bailey and the interns are at the ECB, where Meredith is voicing over that the key to a good surgical internship is to deny pretty much everything. The interns discuss Cristina (see “Make Me Lose Control”), who is still in the hospital but claims to be fine. George thinks she’s just tough, but Izzie says she’s acting like she doesn’t have a soul. “She’s gonna make a great surgeon,” George comments. He adds that people who don’t show emotions will make it to the top. Meredith says that Cristina just keeps things to herself. Derek arrives and sits with Bailey as Meredith voices over, “We only see what we wanna see and believe what we want to believe. And it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while, the lies start to seem like the truth.” Derek tells Bailey that Addison and Meredith both kissed him on the same day (see “Make Me Lose Control”). Bailey lets him know, via Joe, that she doesn’t want to hear about his personal problems. Meredith’s voiceover continues that we lie to ourselves so much that we don’t recognize the truth when it’s right in front of us. Derek tries to convince himself that everything will be fine - Addison will go back to New York and he and Meredith will start over. “You so da%$ stupid,” Bailey replies.

In the morning, Bailey and her interns (minus Cristina) do rounds and Bailey tells Alex that Webber wants to see him by the end of the day. Meredith wonders what he did this time. “Maybe he gave the chief syphilis,” George replies (see “Who’s Zoomin’ Who?”). The interns come to a room where a woman named Kalpana is telling a bunch of doctors a story about a tour guide in Belize being bitten by an animal and her being unable to help him because she has a Ph.D., not an M.D. After the other doctors leave, Kalpana tells Bailey and the interns that her parents were missionaries and her family traveled a lot when she was a kid. Izzie presents her case; Kalpana is having episodes of dizziness and heart palpitations. She also had problems with rheumatic heart disease when she was eight. Bailey asks Izzie a question, but Cristina pops in (wearing her hospital gown and still attached to an IV) and answers it. Bailey sends her back to her room, warning that they’re coming to round on her in a few seconds. As she leaves, the interns have a chuckle over her visible underwear. When the interns get to Cristina’s room, Cristina says that she’s ready to go back to work, but her mother, Helen, isn’t sure since she had a fever the night before. Bailey tells Cristina she’s a patient this week so she can be a doctor next week. Cristina begs Meredith to get her away from Helen, at least.

The interns head to Ellis’ room, but Ellis doesn’t want Meredith there because she thinks she’s still a child. Bailey sends Meredith to the hallway, where she runs into Derek and tells him that his life is too complicated for her. Derek tells her that Addison is heading back to New York. They start to get a little closer, but Addison appears and Meredith runs off (though she doesn’t go too far away to still watch them). Derek calls Addison Satan again and asks her why she’s still in Seattle. She tells him to stop being petty and tries to remind him of happier times. He replies that things change. Addison reluctantly hands over divorce papers, telling him that she hasn’t signed yet but will if he does. Derek is happy about this development and says he wants her gone ASAP. Addison asks if, even despite her adultery, she’s not still the love of Derek’s life. Burke stops by Cristina’s room and catches her making notes in her own chart, which he takes from her. He asks her how she is and she tells him she’s fine, of course. Burke says that he had a right to know about the baby, and Cristina replies that now he knows. She adds that they’re through and there’s nothing for him to worry about anymore. Before their argument can continue, Helen appears, telling Burke that she married a Beverly Hills oral surgeon, Dr. Saul Rubenstein, when Cristina was three. She also thinks that Cristina should bring home a good-looking man like Burke. After Burke leaves, Cristina blasts her mother for calling her unpleasant in front of her boss.

Izzie awkwardly tries to ask Alex out, which leads to him teasing her but also asking her out instead. Bailey and Meredith visit Jeremiah, a young man with cystic fibrosis who was one of Bailey’s first patients as an intern. He also runs triathlons and raises tons of money for CF. He’s been admitted for problems with pain and thinks his pancreatitis is acting up. After they leave the room, Bailey tells Meredith that Jeremiah never likes his parents to know he’s in the hospital: “He understands his reality. He just chooses to ignore it.” Alex looks through patient charts and is surprised to come across one for a patient who has a gunshot wound to the head. He hasn’t been taken care of by a trauma team because he’s pretty much okay. Helen paints Cristina’s toes and tells her how she’s planning to redecorate her house. Cristina asks her to change the subject, but Helen wants to know who the baby’s father is. Cristina tells her to go home and Helen says that the daughter she raised would be grateful for her mother’s presence. Alex examines his gunshot wound patient, who claims that he accidentally shot himself while cleaning his gun. Alex is skeptical. Cristina puts on scrubs and tries to get a chart from the nurse’s station, but a nurse catches her and tells her she’s not supposed to be out of bed unless she’s sitting. Cristina grabs a wheelchair and tells the nurse she’s not worried about him contacting her intern, since it’s Meredith.

George stops by to see Ellis, followed by Webber, who notes that George being mistaken for an intern is at least better than him being mistaken for Thatcher. George asks if he can stop tending to Ellis, since she’s no longer a surgical patient, but Webber thinks that Ellis needs stability, so George should keep taking care of her. Cristina catches Kalpana taking a pill, which Kalpana says is birth control, and notes that it’s not documented on her chart. Izzie arrives and Cristina tells her about the pill. Kalpana says that she held off on taking the pill because she had grapefruit juice for breakfast and didn’t want it to interact with her medication. Izzie tells Cristina that Kalpana has a Ph.D. in neuropharmacology, so she knows what she’s talking about. As they argue about whether Cristina should go back to bed, Kalpana collapses and Izzie revives her. Meredith and Bailey look at Jeremiah’s films and determine that he needs an exploratory laparotomy, though Bailey is hesitant to perform surgery because Jeremiah’s lungs aren’t that healthy. Addison approaches and chats with Bailey about Jeremiah, offering to help out. Meredith points out that Addison is a neonatal specialist, but Addison replies that she did two years of genetics research in CF, so she’s seen it all.

As Ellis sneaks off into an elevator, Derek and Meredith talk about Addison’s continued presence in Seattle. Derek announces that she gave him divorce papers, and once he signs, he’s free. He claims that there’s nothing to think about. Alex studies his gunshot patient, Samuel’s, films and is joined by the man’s wife, who sticks with Samuel’s story that he accidentally shot himself. Derek finds Bailey in an elevator and blasts her for taking a consultation from Addison. Bailey stops the elevator and yells that she’s trying to help a patient she cares about, and if that means interfering in Derek’s love triangle, she’ll do it. She also doesn’t want to hear what Derek has to say. As Izzie and Burke check on Kalpana, Burke learns that Christina was out of bed and trying to take care of patients. Kalpana suggests her own treatment, which surprises Izzie, since she doesn’t have a medical degree. Cristina looks over Kalpana’s chart in Intern Alley while Meredith tells her that Addison gave Derek divorce papers. She also claims not to be jealous. Cristina thinks it’s strange that Kalpana has already been in four other hospitals this year. Meredith thinks it’s strange that Cristina is so interested in Burke’s patient. Cristina claims that it has nothing to do with Burke. Meredith tells her that she has every right to be upset about losing her boyfriend, baby, and fallopian tube in one day; Cristina replies that Meredith has every right to be jealous of Addison. Meredith wonders if they’re like their mothers. She then heads to Ellis’ room, which is empty.

Alex looks over Samuel’s films and Ellis shows up to give some assistance. Derek and George arrive shortly after and send Ellis upstairs, claiming that she’s needed there. Webber comes by to chastise George for not keeping an eye on Ellis, and George says he can handle a lot of things. Bailey, Addison, and Meredith tell Jeremiah about his surgery, which could kill him, though without it, he could die anyway. He knows that he’s lucky to have lived this long with CF, so he’s willing to take the risk, especially since Bailey thinks he’ll be okay. Derek and Alex talk to Samuel about getting a psych evaluation, but Mrs. Linden keeps saying that he’s not suicidal. Derek adds that they’ll have to give a report to the police. George finds Cristina in Intern Alley, still looking over Kalpana’s chart, and comments, “You have a better patient than me and you don’t even have a patient.” As he complains about his fake patient, Cristina finally realizes what’s going on with Kalpana - she’s faking her illness. She runs off to find Izzie and lets her know, encouraging her to tell Burke. Burke is already there, though, and Izzie tells Cristina to tell him herself. As Derek and Alex get ready for Samuel’s surgery, they overhear him fighting with his wife about how he cheated on her and she shot him in retaliation. Alex and Derek quickly call the police.

Cristina shares her theory with Burke that Kalpana makes herself sick for attention, since her family isn’t around and she practically lives in hospitals. Burke says that they have to rule out everything physical first. Cristina adds that Kalpana lied about her job - she’s a pharmacy tech, not a Ph.D. - and Burke notes that he’s been lied to before. She tells him she didn’t lie, she just didn’t tell him that she was pregnant. She reminds him that he broke up with her, so they’re not in a relationship, then heads back to her room. As Samuel is taken to surgery, Mrs. Linden has to face the police. Bailey, Meredith, and Addison give Jeremiah his consent forms, and he also signs a DNR. He asks Bailey to call his parents, but she tells him to call them himself when he’s discharged. George heads to Ellis’ room, but she’s missing again. “I am a surgeon,” he notes. As Izzie and Burke perform tests on Kalpana, Izzie notices that Kalpana’s urine is blue. Webber blasts George for losing Ellis, then cuts him free to go find a surgery to join in on. Derek and Alex operate on Samuel as Alex calls him a chicken for covering for his wife for shooting him. Derek points out that he did cheat on her and that relationships are built on sacrifice. “Not that kind of sacrifice,” Alex replies. “Sometimes a bullet’s worth it,” Derek says. Webber finds Ellis scrubbing in for a surgery, and she says she’s been waiting for him, then kisses him. She winds up confused and he takes her back to her room.

Bailey, Meredith, and Addison perform Jeremiah’s surgery, which doesn’t go well. When he takes a turn for the worst, Addison has to remind Bailey that he’s DNR. Bailey and Izzie confront Kalpana for making herself sick and tell her they’re transferring her to psych. Meredith helps Bailey try to revive Jeremiah, but his blood isn’t circulating and Addison declares that he’s gone. She lets Bailey make the final decision, and Bailey reluctantly calls Jeremiah’s time of death. In the scrub room, Addison tells Meredith, “It’s hard to accept the end when you’re too close.” Meredith notices her putting her wedding ring back on, and Addison says that she doesn’t want someone who doesn’t want her, but if there’s any chance Derek will take her back, she’s going to stay in Seattle. After Samuel’s surgery, Derek and Alex tell him that his wife told the police the truth. Samuel tells them he won’t press charges, but his wife has already been arrested. “Nothing will make you feel more stupid than cheating on the woman you love. You don’t know what you’re missing,” Samuel says. Back in her room, Cristina keeps telling Helen that she’s fine and doesn’t need to be taken care of. Izzie arrives to tell Cristina that she was right about Kalpana, but when Cristina finally says that she was right, she starts crying uncontrollably. Elsewhere, Webber tells Alex that he failed his board exams and has four months to retake them. If he fails again, he’s out of the intern program.

Derek studies his divorce papers, not yet signing them. Meredith stops by Cristina’s room, where George, Izzie, and Helen aren’t sure what to do about her sobbing. Meredith goes over to hug her, but George and Izzie quickly stop her, saying that hugging makes it worse. Cristina threatens to kill Helen for saying that she knew Cristina would break, so Meredith kicks her out as George tentatively offers up tissues. Cristina begs them to make it stop, yelling for them to sedate her. Meredith voices over that eventually reality will sneak up and bite you. George helps Webber reluctantly restrain Ellis so she can’t leave her room again. Bailey sadly calls Jeremiah’s parents to tell them he didn’t make it. Burke stops by Cristina’s room on his way home and ignores Helen’s warnings not to touch her. He just gets into bed with Cristina and holds her as she cries. Alex and Izzie meet up at the ECB, but Alex is distracted by the news about his boards and isn’t that thrilled about the date. Meredith and Derek sit together as Meredith voices over, “Denial. It’s not just a river in Egypt. It’s a freaking ocean.” Derek accidentally knocks over his briefcase, and Meredith is able to see that he still hasn’t signed his divorce papers. “So how do you keep from drowning in it?” she voices over.

THE TITLE IS A SONG BY…: Hood

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Bailey: “Joe, do I look friendly to you?”
Joe: “Oh, you’re a tiny little kitten of joy and love.”

Meredith: “You’ve got a wife.”
Derek: “Yes.”
Meredith: “Your life is complicated.”
Derek: “Yes.”
Meredith: “I don’t need complicated. I have complicated all on my own.”
Derek: “Yes.”
Meredith: “Stop saying ‘yes.’”
Derek: “I’m trying not to make any sudden movements.”

“You really are Satan. You realize that, right? If Satan were to take physical form, he’d be you. Everywhere, all the time.” - Derek to Addison

Helen: “I’m her mother!”
Meredith: “We don’t do well with mothers here.”


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