"Fight Face"
Written and directed by Daniel Palladino

Lorelai and Sookie stand outside Twickham’s house, amazed by how huge it is. Sookie makes sure that Lorelai is sticking with her engagement (see “New and Improved Lorelai”); Lorelai assures her that she is. They look back at the house and wonder if it just got bigger. Rory attends orientation for her community service (see “New and Improved Lorelai”). At the diner, Luke and Lorelai discuss the latest Star Wars movie, which Luke is still complaining about months later. Lorelai tells him to go complain on a website, so he brings up Bewitched, which sets her off. T.J. installs shelves in the corner and asks Luke to help him out a little with advertising. In the town square, Lorelai comes across a pet adoption fair and is drawn to a shaggy dog. Miss Patty warns a volunteer that Lorelai doesn’t do well with animals. Lorelai tries to defend her past animal mishaps. She runs into Liz, who is thrilled about her and Luke’s engagement. Liz asks about Rory and Lorelai just tells her that she’s staying with her grandparents for the summer. After Liz leaves, Lorelai decides to adopt the shaggy dog. At the elder Gilmores’, Emily, Richard, and Rory discuss the fact that Rory’s car was damaged when it was impounded after the yacht incident (see “Blame Booze and Melville”).

In the pool house, Rory watches a scene from The Graduate, then heads back to the main house and chats with one of the maids in Spanish. Later, Emily catches them talking and polishing silver together and blasts Rory for spending time with the help. Luke goes to Lorelai’s house and learns that she’s brought home the dog. She doesn’t like his name, Coco, so she’s going to gradually ease him into his new name, Paul Anka. Paul Anka is very neurotic and is scared of a lot of things, including popcorn, paperbacks, and lint. He also freaks out when Lorelai drinks something. Luke tries to make sure that it’s okay for Lorelai to have a pet. Luke admits that he doesn’t like dogs, but Lorelai thinks he’s just sticking with his tradition of not liking things, then finding a middle ground with her. Paul Anka starts eating, so Lorelai takes Luke outside to keep the dog from being self-conscious. Luke tells her that he’s discussed Twickham’s house with some contractors, so they can start working on it when they’re out of escrow. He suggests bringing the crew over to Lorelai’s to do some touchups before they sell the house. Lorelai would like to hold on to the house and find another use for it.

At the elder Gilmores’ house, Emily and Richard tell Rory that they can help her get a part-time job that won’t interfere with her community service. The next day, Lorelai gives up on easing the dog into his new name and starts calling him Paul Anka. Rory encounters a DAR get-together at the elder Gilmores’ and is invited to sit in while the women discuss which American forefather was the best lover. Emily tells her that a job at the DAR office has opened up and Rory can have it. Before taking the job, though, she would have to join the DAR. Rory quietly reminds Emily that she was going to drive her to her community service. Lorelai arrives home to find a guy on her roof. Luke shows up and tells her that he’s brought some guys over to check out the house before they start making renovations. He’s decided that Twickham’s house is too big for them, and Lorelai loves her own house so much that they can just live there. Emily takes Rory to her community service, giving her information on interacting with prisoners. She encourages Rory to “keep [her] fight face at home,” then gives her some cigarettes to barter with. At the diner, Liz eavesdrops while Luke and one of the architects discuss some of the work for Lorelai’s house. She asks Luke to let T.J. be the contractor (though he doesn’t actually have a license). Luke refuses, but Liz says that his life depends on this - if he doesn’t get out of the house soon, she’ll kill him. She begs him until he tells her he won’t say no yet.

Rory picks up trash but isn’t exactly liked by her fellow workers. Lorelai heads to her bedroom and is stunned to see a huge hole in the front wall of the house. She goes to the diner and drags Luke home with her, unable to say anything other than “hole” when they return. Luke realizes that T.J. is behind this and tells Lorelai that he only agreed to let T.J. be the contractor because Liz started crying. He comes up with a complex plan resulting in T.J.’s death. Rory returns from community service to find her DAR paperwork ready for her to sign. She heads to the diner and shares an awkward conversation with Luke, who tells her that he and Lorelai are engaged. Upset that Lorelai didn’t tell her, she runs off. The next morning, the renovations start on Lorelai’s house, but she’s not happy to be woken up so early. She and Luke, who’s on the roof, fight and he tells her that he told Rory about their engagement. Lorelai thinks that he played into her hands and violated her tough love plan. Luke replies that he’s stuck in the middle of this situation and the girls should be talking to each other. He promises not to say anything more about the situation and assures Lorelai that they’re okay. Rory gets in a fight with another worker and her supervisor warns her not to put on her fight face again. Later, Lorelai drives past, then stops to fight with Rory. As she leaves, Rory tells her that not hearing about the engagement from Lorelai hurt.

WELCOME TO STARS HOLLOW: Paul Anka

MEMORABLE QUOTES: T.J.: “Some of my best work, these shelves.”
Luke: “Very shelf-y.”
T.J.: “You’re not excited!”
Luke: “Yeah, I tend not to get too excited about things like shelves.”
T.J.: “I hate that you lost the little boy in you.”
Luke: “Don’t cry for me.”

Luke: “A.J.? Why A.J.? Why not T.J.?”
T.J.: “‘Cause I’m going in the Yellow Pages and I want to be up at the top. T puts me after everything except U, V, W, X, Y, and Z and I think a few others.”

Lorelai: “You know, I think it’s very sad that you’ve lost the little boy in you.”
Luke: “The little boy didn't like dogs either.”

Luke: “We’re just about done.”
Lorelai: “Done with what?”
Luke: “Sizing the situation.”
Lorelai: “What situation?”
Luke: “About how many silent joists we need to carry up.”
Lorelai: “What’s a joist?”
Luke: “The things that support the load.”
Lorelai: “What load?”
Luke: “The load from the extension.”
Lorelai: “Okay, this has officially become the worst first draft of ‘Who’s on First?’ in history.”

Luke: “I’m going to talk to T.J. But I’m going to be smart about it; I’m not going to spook him. I’m going to be like Michael Corleone dealing with that slimy brother-in-law of his. Get a couple of tickets to a ballgame. Invite him along and we’ll talk about the beer and the hot dogs we’re going to eat, and then I’m going to get him to admit that he did this. And then when we get in the car on the way to the ballpark, I’m going to put a rope around his neck and pull it till he’s dead!”
Lorelai: “Wait, wait. You’re in the backseat?”
Luke: “Yeah, it’s best for garroting. Yes.”
Lorelai: “No, he’s totally going to smell something fishy if you hop in the backseat, especially if you’re driving.”
Luke: “No, he’s not that bright. It’ll work!”
Lorelai: “Why are you even buying the tickets? You could just sneak up on him and garrote him on the street, save you the money!”
Luke: “I could still go to the game the other way! I’ll take my friend Ed. He hasn’t been to a game in ages.”


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