General Hospital blog - April, 2009

April 1st, 2009

Ric tells Claudia that since she broke the rules by trying to kill him, he's just going to go ahead and tell Sonny the truth. She promises to play nice from now on, then tries to enlist Johnny to dig up dirt on Sonny for her, possibly by accepting a job from him. Ric boasts to Johnny that he has Claudia under his control, so Johnny attacks him. Sonny hopes that Michael's possible recovery will be a second chance for him to be a better father. Robin tells her new psychiatrist about her almost-affair, then admits that she doesn't want her life anymore. Lulu brings Ethan to Crimson, wanting Kate to replace Johnny with him. Kate says no way. Ethan steals petty cash, and when Lulu tracks him down, Luke decides to stay out of it and tells Lulu she'll have to get it back herself. She and Ethan agree to a game of poker for the money. Olivia seems to be considering telling Sonny about Dante (yeah, right).

Heh, Claudia outsources everything. She outsourced shooting Sonny and now she's outsourcing digging up dirt on Sonny and Jason to protect herself from her first outsourcing. She's like the dictionary definition of "never learns."

Yeah, I bet Olivia's going to tell Sonny about Dante. Especially considering half of the audience has completely forgotten who Dante is.

Kate and I finally agree on something – Ethan is skeezy.

Would someone please give Robin some drugs?

April 2nd, 2009

Jason walks in on Johnny trying to kill Ric and doesn't bother to try to break things up. Claudia does the job and Jason wonders if Ric is blackmailing her. She tells him and Sonny that he is but isn't specific about the details. Claudia goes to visit Michael and whine about her situation, then gets caught there by Carly. Robin is willing to make changes to get better, but not take medication. Sonny tries to change her mind. Patrick treats a patient with postpartum who tried to kill herself, then tries to pry any information out of Jason that he might not have mentioned about Robin. Jax warns Carly that the experimental procedure could be fatal. Olivia doesn't tell Sonny about Dante, of course, but she does think that Jax should tell Carly about Jerry's involvement in the shooting. He disagrees. Ethan slays Lulu in poker so she steals petty cash from the Haunted Star in retaliation. Luke won't make an effort to get it back because it happened on Ethan's watch.

Claudia? Michael doesn't care about your problems. Also, if he really can hear everything that people say to him, he'll probably be in favor of Ric killing you.

It's ironic that Robin, who would rather give her patients medication than have Patrick operate on them, won't take the...oh! I get it! She's a Scientologist!

Re: Ethan and Lulu, once again I say, EW.

It wasn't surprising at all, but I loved Jason just standing there and letting Johnny attack Ric. Gotta love predictability.

April 3rd, 2009

Carly tells Claudia that she's nothing more than a mob princess and easy sex to Sonny, so Claudia sets out to prove her wrong by buying condoms and then poking holes in them. Sonny is low because of Michael's shooting anniversary, Robin's situation, and Alexis' stubbornness related to Kristina, and he tells her he doesn't want any more kids. Claudia proceeds anyway. Carly goes to the warehouse where Michael was shot, hoping that being there will help her decide whether to risk the experimental procedure. Jason finds here there and admits to blaming himself for getting Michael into the mob life in the first place. He tells Carly that he thinks Michael would want to take the risk. Patrick demands that Jason tell him everything Robin has said, since he's now afraid that she'll do something to hurt herself. Sonny urges Robin to get her prescription for antidepressants filled, and though it looks like she's going to, she winds up tearing it up. She ends up on the docks and daydreams or hallucinates an older Emma, who's been abandoned by her mother. Patrick goes looking for Robin, who may or may not be in the harbor. Jason asks Maxie to tell him what she remembers about the night he killed Ian. She tells him that there might not be any more to the situation than what's already happened. However, she also helps him remember that Ian's dying words were, "There's more." Rebecca decides not to have the biopsy since she thinks Nikolas has made her more concerned than she should be. He changes her mind and accompanies her to the hospital, where, once she's sedated, she tells him that there's something he "can't find out."

I KNEW IT. Claudia is soooo going to get pregnant. I hope it's Ric's kid. Sonny already has, like, eight. Also, because then Claudia will have once again screwed up a scheme because she didn't think over all the angles.

So was that a hallucination, or is Robin now in an episode of Lost?

Ten days till Helena! So excited!

They have an honor roll for seven-year-olds? That's sick.

April 4th, 2009

Next week: Carly's on a mission, Jason's on a different mission, and Tracy's on an entirely different mission. Also, Lulu and Johnny might finally give me what I want: peace and quiet.

April 6th, 2009

Patrick finds Robin in the water and revives her, then asks her if she tried to kill herself. Matt (who's taken to hitting on Maxie) is also suspicious and doesn't let up even when Patrick and Maxie try to convince him he's wrong. Maxie asks Jason to talk to Robin because he's the only person who can be unbiased. Sonny lets Claudia know again that he doesn't want more kids. He also talks Carly out of the experimental procedure. Jason tells Carly that he's looking into Michael's shooting because Sonny thinks Ian might have had an accomplice. Carly thinks Ian was working alone. Jason finds Ric lurking around the warehouse and tells him that if he had something to do with the shooting or knows who did, Jason will kill him. Nikolas starts to ask Rebecca about what she said while under sedation, then changes his mind.

Why is Matt suddenly the voice of reason? And why did he disappear for a month and then randomly turn up again?

I love how Claudia thinks Sonny won't kill her if she's pregnant with his child. Honey, he'll just wait nine months and kill you then!

Carly is bad with math. First she said there was a "2 in 10th" chance of the experimental treatment going wrong, when she could have said 1 in 5 ("1 in 5! 1 in 5!"), and then she said there was a high probability of it being fatal. 1 in 5 is 20 percent, Carly. It's an F minus minus minus.

Hi, Epiphany! I missed you while you were randomly gone, apparently hanging out with Matt somewhere. Maybe now that Jerry's coming back, you'll find out that he killed Stan and you'll get to spit on him or something.

April 7th, 2009

Carly and Jax learn that while Michael will most likely survive the experimental procedure, if they wait longer for a possible different treatment, he may not recover well. Olivia asks Jax if Jane knows that Jerry's alive. Jax wants to avoid the subject of his brother in general, which will be hard to do after Jerry calls and Carly picks up the phone. Maxie asks Jason again to talk to Robin, but he doesn't think it's his place to say anything. He ends up doing so anyway after they run into each other and she confides that she's worried she doesn't want to be a mother. He points out that her concern over Emma being all right even with a messed-up mother means she doesn't need to worry about that. She does, however, need to worry about Patrick, who catches Robin and Jason hugging. Tracy spots Ethan's photo of Robert and Luke, puts it together with Ethan's mention of Holly, and starts to suspect that Luke is Ethan's father. Kate wants Maxie and Johnny to go on another PR date, but Johnny's unreachable, so Lulu suggests Matt instead. Maxie would rather take Ethan, but Lulu wants her to be miserable and announces that she's going on a date with Ethan. Maxie ends up with Matt and Lulu ends up having to dodge Ethan's advances.

Jerry's a week early! Awesome!

Robin realizes that with her HIV drug protocol, she's already dependent on medication, right? Just checking.

Hey, Tracy, I think I know an up-and-coming PI/cybergenius team that could help you out with your Ethan investigation...

Dear Matt, you are officially a stalker. Get that looked at.

April 8th, 2009

Claudia catches Sonny and Olivia being chummy and tells Olivia to stay away. Olivia responds by just barely keeping herself from spilling what she knows about Michael's shooting. Jax sets off to find Jerry, despite having no idea where he is. Carly's...sick? Pregnant? Dying? A conversation with Kelly finally puts Robin on the right track, until she spots Patrick and Elizabeth having fun in the park with their kids. Ethan and Lulu go to the Haunted Star, where they make Tracy uncomfortable, but not for the reasons they should. She decides to enlist Spinelli to investigate Ethan. Monica and Rebecca bond, but Lulu thinks that if Nikolas spends too much time with Rebecca, he'll be seized by a Cassadine-like obsession.

At least if Carly's pregnant, she won't have a paternity mystery on her hands. Uh, that we know of.

Heh, looks like Tracy listened to me. But shouldn't she bring up the fact that if Ethan is Luke's son, he's flirting WITH HIS SISTER?

Suddenly I like Olivia a lot more. Though I still don't get how she hasn't put Kate's DVD and comments towards Claudia together with Jax's DVD and Jerry's revelation. She's not THAT dumb, is she?

I'm sure Robin's perfectly fine with Patrick hanging out with Elizabeth, seeing as how she's been hanging out with her ex and telling him things she hasn't told her own husband. Yeah, I'm sure this will all end well with no yelling or bloodshed.

April 9th, 2009

Ric tries to convince Sonny that Claudia might try to team up with Jason to go up against him. He adds that Jason threatened to frame him for Michael's shooting. Claudia tells Johnny that she has everything figured out and knows having Sonny's baby will save her life. She returns home just in time to overhear Jason telling Sonny that Bernie has evidence that Ian wasn't working alone. Maxie thinks her PR date with Matt was a disaster, but Kate is thrilled and wants him to replace Johnny. Matt announces that he'll only step aside if Maxie goes on a real date with him. Maxie agrees but wants revenge on Lulu for setting the whole thing up in the first place. Sam gets her PI license but is denied the ability to start an agency because she doesn't have enough experience. She decides to find a firm to apprentice with, but Spinelli's already a step ahead of her – Bernie is a PI and can be their agency's owner on paper. Bernie is reluctant to participate but gives in when Jason and Sam assure him that Spinelli will be on his best behavior. Tracy tries to push Rebecca and Ethan together to keep Ethan away from Lulu. She also repeats what she told Rebecca before about thinking she's a con artist. Johnny and Lulu fight again, and it looks like they're finally going to break up. Rebecca and Nikolas make out.

Five bucks says Claudia tells Sonny she's pregnant already.

Sorry, Maxie, I think Lulu and Johnny are going to take care of things for you.

I hope Tracy figures out that even Ethan isn't gross enough to try to date a woman he thinks is his sister. At least I hope he isn't.

Get a room, Rebecca and Nikolas. Oh, wait....

April 10th, 2009

Jason thinks Ric was working with Ian but Sonny worries that he'll spend so much time trying to prove it that he'll overlook the real culprit. The two ambush Ric, who decides it's time to finally put his money where his mouth is and announces that Claudia was responsible for the shooting. Claudia is even more desperate to get pregnant now that she knows Sonny and Jason are investigating the shooting. Olivia thinks Carly's pregnant, so Carly goes to see Kelly and happens to overhear her talking to Claudia about trying to get pregnant. Johnny tells Lulu about his adventures with Maxie the night of the fire/blizzard/biotoxin and she dumps him, just as he'd hoped. She's also not too happy with Maxie, since she thinks Maxie's been undermining their relationship. Maxie doesn't do much to dispel the theory when she makes out with Johnny on the docks (and of course, they get spotted by Spinelli). Lucky thinks Nikolas is taking advantage of Rebecca's health crisis to make a move. Rebecca finally gets a call about her biopsy results. Ethan catches Spinelli and Tracy talking about him and tells them to just ask him what they want to know. He's obviously hiding something, though, as he has a secret phone conversation and then freaks out when Lulu (sent by Tracy to dig up dirt) finds out where he's living.

Well, well, well. Ric isn't all talk after all. Though I bet now Claudia will just announce that she's pregnant to try to save her own neck. Good luck with that, Claudia.

After that look Carly gave Claudia after hearing that she's trying to get pregnant, almost everything is forgiven.

Julie Marie Berman needs to stop chewing the scenery stat.

My guess is that Rebecca's biopsy will be negative, and just as she's celebrating dodging that bullet, Helena will show up and the fun will begin.

Back from the dead (officially): Jerry Jacks
Broken up: Lulu Spencer and Johnny Zacchara
Possibly pregnant: Carly Jacks

April 11th, 2009

Next week: Jerry and Helena are back, and that's all that matters.

April 13th, 2009

Ric tells Sonny and Jason more about what Claudia and Jerry did, and while Jason thinks he's lying, Sonny's willing to listen. Just as they're about to watch the DVD, Claudia shows up and plays dumb. Fortunately for her, the DVD doesn't work, so Ric is left looking like an idiot while Claudia looks like an innocent. Sonny vows to investigate the matter, telling a worried Jason that if Claudia or Ric runs, they'll know they're guilty. Later, he assures Claudia that if she had anything to do with the shooting, she won't be able to hide from him. Helena beats everyone else to the hospital reopening. Claudia pretends that she's trying not to get pregnant so Carly won't catch on. Kelly tells Carly that she could have a condition that causes blood clots, and the illness and the treatment could cause harm to both her and the baby. Carly goes to visit Michael, who moves again, but this time she doesn't see it. Spinelli hits Johnny, then blasts Maxie for leading him on, then trying to get together with Johnny. She's unable to convince him that she still cares about him. To add to her bad day, Lulu kicks her out of their apartment. Lulu straight-out asks Ethan if there's a reason Tracy shouldn't trust him. He tries to pretend that he doesn't have any ulterior motives. He then mentions Johnny, setting Lulu off. Rebecca is fine and wants nothing more than Nikolas, ice cream, and to be left alone by her mystery caller.

How ironic that the one time Ric's actually telling the truth, no one believes him.

To any more recent viewers who were confused by the woman who was laughing maniacally at the end: that's Helena. You'll love her.

Claudia's come back from the brink of death so many times, she might actually be part cockroach. I can't wait until Jerry shows up.

No one's allowed to have a normal pregnancy, apparently. Though at least with Carly's track record, they probably won't have her miscarry again. Well, maybe. Actually, I wouldn't put it past the writers at all.

April 14th, 2009

The hospital reopens but the celebration is interrupted by Helena, who appears on all the computer monitors to tell Nikolas that all of his good deeds will be punished. Claudia sends Johnny to Ric's lawyer's office to get the DVD, but it's no longer there. Meanwhile, Sonny asks Carly if she would believe Claudia or Ric if they were giving contradictory stories. Carly chooses Claudia because though she's evil, she's not out to destroy Sonny. Claudia has a run-in with Ric, who threatens to kill her, but manages to stay alive for now. She goes home and packs, ready to leave Sonny, but he tells her he wants her to stay. Olivia encourages Carly to take a pregnancy test already. Lucky tells Luke about Lulu and Johnny's breakup, but he's too drunk to do anything about it. Lucky also yells at Ethan some more after Ethan blasts him for not being nicer to Luke. Tracy still wants dirt on Ethan but won't talk to Lulu or Luke about her suspicions.

Wait, what exactly does Helena want? Does she want to punish Nikolas or do nice things for him? Why can't she be clearer with her intentions like Ric is?

Speaking of Ric, no way he grew that stupid little beard in one day.

I love how Carly thinks that not taking a pregnancy test means she's not pregnant. Nice logic.

Why do they keep lightening Rebecca's hair? When I first saw her today, I thought she was Nadine. Of course, I also thought Bobbie was Olivia at first glance, so what do I know?

April 15th, 2009

Ric tells his lawyer, Claire, all about the DVD and wonders who might have taken it. Johnny tells Claudia that the DVD is gone, and since Ric doesn't have any proof against her, she doesn't have to get pregnant to save her own life. Claudia replies that she wants to get pregnant. Ric goes home and comes face-to-face with Jerry, who's not pleased that Ric is using his DVDs for his own personal gain. Jason starts to think that Ric might be telling the truth after all and assures Claudia that she's in trouble if Ric is right. News of Helena's return to town quickly spreads, followed by Alexis' theory that she has something to do with Rebecca's appearance in Port Charles. Nikolas, Monica, and Edward decide to hide her so Helena won't go after her, but Rebecca would rather stand by Nikolas the way he stood by her during her cancer scare. This means she's present when Helena meets up with Nikolas at Wyndemere. Patrick and Robin nag at each other all day until they finally have it out and Patrick accuses Robin of adultery in front of a bunch of people. Carly still refuses to take a pregnancy test for some reason. Diane and Max think she's pregnant and wonder if Jax or Sonny is the father. They decide that if she calls to talk to Jason, Sonny might be the father. Jason arrives, summoned by Carly, and Max and Diane suddenly have a fake scandal to occupy them.

Hey, Jerry, can your first act of revenge against Ric be to make him shave?

Why doesn't anyone listen to Alexis? Not only is she one of the most normal people in town, but she went to a really good school. She's smart, guys. Pay more attention to her.

Why in the world would Nikolas take Rebecca to Wyndemere, the one place Helena's guaranteed to show up? Not that I'm complaining, because I wouldn't mind seeing her die or anything.

Nice to see you again, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Max and Diane.

April 16th, 2009

Jerry threatens to kill Ric for coming close to exposing the truth about the shooting, since he doesn't want Carly or Jax to get hurt. Ric offers to team up with him in exchange for his life. Jerry finds this offer acceptable. He later runs into Claudia and makes it clear that he's calling the shots. Spinelli discovers that Jerry is alive and has been spending Ian's money. Jason and Sonny realize that even with this proof, they can't rule out Ric or Claudia's involvement in Michael's shooting, so they still have some digging to do. Helena came back to town for a painting in Nikolas' bank vault, and she'll ruin him financially and professionally until she gets it. Of course, he easily agrees to give it back. Alexis is even more convinced that Helena is Rebecca's puppeteer when she sees the two together and Rebecca doesn't freak out. Jason tries to support Carly but has a bunch of other stuff to deal with. She finally makes an appointment to get tested for the clotting disorder, then proceeds to fall down the stairs and knock herself out, which is as much of a positive pregnancy test as she needs. Robin and Patrick's fights escalate, and she slaps him and yells at him for spying on her in Rochester. They run into Carly, who tells Robin that she's getting worse but manages to finally convince her that she's become unbearable and needs to change.

Ric and Jerry working together? Me likey.

Look, I appreciate the humor in Alexis/Helena scenes as much as the next person, but it makes no sense. Has Alexis forgotten that Helena MURDERED HER MOTHER? She should be scared of Helena, not amused by her.

Nice of everyone to make Carly stay at home by herself when she's having fainting spells. And can the writers keep pregnant and possibly pregnant women away from the freaking stairs already?

This must be bizarro world, because today I couldn't stand Robin, I thought Carly was okay, and I liked Sam (her giggling over Jason threatening to shoot Spinelli to teach him a lesson slayed me). Send help.

April 17th, 2009

Sonny is determined to find out if Claudia had anything to do with Michael's shooting and wants to find Jerry to interrogate him. Meanwhile, Carly keeps her potential health situation quiet from Jax, who makes a pit stop at the aftercare facility and finds Jerry there. Carly and Claudia both take pregnancy tests. Robin ditches her meds. Lulu and Spinelli both give Maxie the cold shoulder, Spinelli by acting frighteningly normal around her and Lulu by splitting their apartment down the middle.

I think Claudia's pregnant. At first I thought she would tell Sonny she is to save her neck (and then, ironically, would wind up actually being pregnant), but she'll have to show proof, so she probably is. Let the fun begin.

Can someone go get Anna to talk some sense into Robin? And just for the heck of it, because Anna is cool?

Lulu, you can't split the apartment in half that way when the bedrooms are both on the same side.

Unintentionally funniest moment of the episode: Jason not wanting to touch Carly's pregnancy test.

Back in town: Helena Cassadine, Jerry Jacks
Possibly pregnant: Carly Jacks (same as last week), Claudia Zacchara

April 18th, 2009

Next week: Robin might finally learn her lesson, Tracy might actually say something to Luke about Ethan, and I might actually be right about both Carly and Claudia.

April 20th, 2009

Carly and Claudia are both pregnant. Carly is determined to have her baby even if she's advised to abort, and Jason can't talk her out of it. Johnny also can't talk Claudia out of going through with her plan even though he thinks Sonny will be suspicious that she's gotten pregnant while under investigation. Claudia wants Sonny to "discover" her news, so she fakes a phone call about getting an abortion. Jax and Carly both decide to keep their respective secrets from each other, but Carly's too dumb to hide her pregnancy test, so Jax is already on to her. Jerry tries to convince Jax that he never wanted to hurt him or Carly, but Jax is too angry to listen to him. Sonny confides in Luke, who has the crazy idea that maybe he shouldn't kill his wife. Patrick and Robin are so civil to each other that they're able to do surgery together. Nikolas catches Rebecca and Helena talking and wonders if Alexis might be right about them being in on something together. Rebecca gets furious and questions why Nikolas would be so nice to her if she's allegedly a horrible person. He responds by kissing her, and when Alexis catches them, she says that Rebecca's just turning in another brilliant performance. (This is where Alexis and I disagree.)

Gotta love the intrinsic entertainment Carly provides. "I don't want my husband to know I'm pregnant yet. Eh, I shouldn't bother getting rid of this positive pregnancy test. I'll just leave it lying around for anyone to see. That shouldn't be a problem."

I kind of hope Sonny calls Claudia's bluff and encourages her to get an abortion, just because it might finally teach her to think her plans through all the way before putting them into action.

Who needs Dr. Brown or Coleman? Luke gives awesome advice – "don't kill your wife." Thanks, Dr. Spencer!

Yes, Matt, I think Robin can handle standing around and watching surgery.

April 21st, 2009

Sonny plays right into Claudia's hands, telling her that they'll have the baby. Jax is so happy about Carly's pregnancy that he decides not to tell her about Jerry. Instead, he tells Alexis, also confiding that Jerry was involved in Michael's shooting. Carly keeps her own secret, telling Olivia she's not going to tell Jax about her possible illness yet. Helena gets her painting from Nikolas and reveals that she really wanted what was inside it – a birth certificate. Rebecca flies off the handle and decides she doesn't want to have anything to do with the Cassadines anymore. Instead, she'll hang out with Lucky. Helena meets Ethan and thinks he's Luke's son, an idea that apparently has never crossed Luke's mind. Robin is still totally lying.

Wow, one of Claudia's plans actually worked out! Um, at least until Ric figures out he could be the baby's father.

Watch, after all the effort Jax is putting into keeping Jerry's involvement in the shooting from Carly, Jason or Sonny will tell her.

Does that mean Helena's leaving? Noooo! Also, does this mean there's another secret child out there somewhere? Geez, how many more secret children can these people have?

Little does Rebecca know that Lucky's parents have both killed people and his sister was institutionalized. Welcome to Port Charles, Rebecca! Now get the heck out.

April 22nd, 2009

Jason goes to see Carly, who's out, and instead is lectured by Jax not to upset her. Jason reveals that he and Sonny know about Jerry's involvement in Michael's shooting. He asks if Jax knows where Jerry is but Jax dodges his questions. As Spinelli learns that Jerry's in town, he appears at Sonny's house and reveals himself to Alexis. Maxie wants to win Spinelli back, and for some reason she thinks Jason is the person to advise her as to how. She's unsuccessful. Robin skips her therapy session and talks to Alexis about parenting instead. Patrick learns about her truancy but doesn't call her on it. Luke interrogates Ethan, who's still keeping his true parentage quiet. He winds up at Maxie and Lulu's, where Lulu says they're just friends and Maxie pretends that she's interested in him. Carly goes to get her blood test, but Jax might get the results before her.

Let's give Jerry the benefit of the doubt and say he went to Sonny's to bug Claudia. That still doesn't explain why he would let Alexis know he's there. Not that Alexis had a single scene today that wasn't completely random. I mean, I don't think she's even talked to Robin since Molly was born.

I love how no one thinks Robert could be Ethan's father. Oh, wait, I don't love that. I find it really annoying and unlikely. That's what I meant.

Apparently no one at GH has heard of doctor/patient confidentiality.

Still not getting Ethan's appeal. Can anyone help me out with that?

April 23rd, 2009

As Claudia listens in, Jerry confesses his part in Michael's shooting to Alexis, who thinks he's at Sonny's house because he's involved with Claudia. Jerry tells her he'll answer any questions she has, but not there, and invites her to meet him at a parking garage. He takes off and Alexis goes to Jax, who asks her to keep quiet about what she knows. Claudia calls on a buddy to wire Jerry's car to explode, which Ric overhears. He also pieces together that she's pregnant but doesn't seem to get that he could be the father. Spinelli finds Jerry, so Jason is able to ambush him in the parking garage. Fortunately, he starts the car remotely so it blows up without anyone inside. Sonny tells Carly that Claudia's pregnant and she gives him encouragement, as well as the news that she's pregnant, too. Patrick calls Robin on her lie, and after yet another argument, they wind up in couples' therapy, which they agree isn't as bad as they expected. And then there's a totally random scene where Elizabeth loses control of an empty wheelchair and it falls down a flight of stairs. Carly has the clotting disorder. Tracy realizes that Luke wants Ethan to be his son. Ethan still won't come clean about his real connection to Holly, so Luke considers calling her and asking her to come to town.

See? Jason's smart. He's learned a lot from the mob.

You can tell Ric's in another evil phase of his ongoing good/evil roller coaster because he has a beard.

Ha, Sonny's happier about Carly's pregnancy than about Claudia's. That's awesome.

I've never agreed with Sam more than I did today when she literally said that Sonny needs to keep it in his pants. I can't believe I'm saying this, but rock on, Sam.

April 24th, 2009

Alexis finds Jason and Jerry unconscious in the parking garage and summons help, then lets Jax know what's going on. Jax furiously tells Jerry that he'd kill him if given the chance, not realizing that Jerry is now conscious. Jax and Alexis agree to keep the situation quiet so Carly doesn't find out what's going on with either Jason or the shooting situation. They may get to keep quiet longer than expected as Jerry splits the first chance he gets. Carly begs Kelly to find a treatment for her that allows her to carry the baby. Kelly tells her to avoid "emotional upheaval," which will be hard to do when Epiphany tells her Jason's hurt and Carly proceeds to collapse. Robin makes some progress in taking care of Emma on her own, then tells Kelly that she's improving without taking the medication. Kelly thinks she's being irresponsible. For some reason they decide to have this discussion at the top of a staircase, so when it gets heated, Robin accidentally jostles Emma's stroller and it rolls down the steps. Ric finally figures out that he could be the father of Claudia's baby. Sonny still isn't sure whether Michael should have the experimental treatment. Nikolas tries to make things up to Rebecca, telling her that he was wrong to think she was working with Helena. Rebecca's uninterested in reconnecting with him and plans to go out with Lucky instead. Lucky and Nikolas fight over her and Elizabeth attempts to break things up, but when Rebecca joins the three of them in "Emily's seat," Elizabeth flips out.

Anyone else wondering if that conversation Patrick and Matt had about Jason's past head injuries is going to mean anything?

Robin, the Foreshadowing Fairy called. She said shut up. Also, I'm going to predict that Epiphany or someone else will catch the stroller at the bottom of the stairs.

Once again, I'm smarter than Claudia. Well, so is Ric, but he did go to an Ivy League school, so that's expected.

Someone please make Rebecca go away for good.

Back in town: Michael Corinthos, Jerry Jacks
Hospitalized: Jason Morgan
Left town: Helena Cassadine, Jerry Jacks
Pregnant: Carly Jacks, Claudia Zacchara

April 25th, 2009

Next week: like, every secret in the world is revealed. Also, Robin finally hits her rock bottom, Luke wants Ethan to take a DNA test, Maxie screws up again, and Nikolas and Elizabeth are apparently going to hook up. Wait, what?

April 27th, 2009

Maxie annoys Jason awake and he unsurprisingly foregoes further medical attention so he can check on Carly and question Claudia, who he suspects is behind the car bomb. Jax overhears Jason and Carly talking about her clotting disorder, so that secret's finally out in the open. Jax thinks that Carly should think of herself before the baby. She continues to disagree. Sonny still isn't sure about Michael having the experimental procedure, but ultimately decides to go for it. Now, though, Carly's the one who isn't sure. Olivia catches Claudia and Ric fighting and suspects that Ric is really the baby's father. Patrick saves Emma but suspects that the fall wasn't an accident. Even when Kelly convinces him it was, he decides that it's time to figure things out once and for all, so he arranges an intervention. Elizabeth thinks Lucky is interested in Rebecca because he kind of liked Emily, but Nikolas thinks it's just because he likes her. Then he has to watch them kiss. Spinelli momentarily forgets about his fight with Maxie when he learns about Jason's injuries, but as soon as he knows Jason's okay, it's back to the silent treatment.

Thanks for the foreshadowing, Monica. I'm sure Jason won't collapse with a brain bleed at a completely inopportune time.

While I applaud Patrick's idea of holding an intervention, he really just needs Jason to tell her to get some help. That tends to work.

Once again, math is Carly's Achilles' heel – she'd rather take the 50/50 risk of harming herself or the baby than the 20/80 risk of Michael undergoing the procedure. Can someone please explain probability to her? Or just remind her that 50 is more than 20?

I know the writers want Nikolas to have to watch Rebecca and Lucky kiss, but does that mean I have to, too?

April 28th, 2009

Jason doesn't believe Claudia's protestations about being involved in Michael's shooting, and when he fills Diane in on everything, she doesn't either. Carly continues to refuse to have an abortion. Sonny tries to get Jason to talk to her, but he notes that he already did and is prepared to support her decision. Sonny then assigns Max and Milo to take care of Carly. Robin reacts badly to her intervention, turning on Maxie for questioning her parenting. However, when she hears what everyone has to say, she realizes that she needs inpatient treatment and agrees to go away for a while, Maxie goes to Johnny for comfort after Robin's insults and is surprised to find Spinelli with him. Even though Spinelli is sympathetic, Maxie doesn't think their relationship will ever be prepared. Luke finally confronts Ethan about his picture of him and Robert, but Ethan is still evasive. Luke asks him flat out to take a DNA test, and Ethan refuses.

I keep waiting for Jason to pass out. Monica's foreshadowing has to be right!

Seriously, have any of these people met Carly? She's not going to listen to anyone by herself!

It feels like they skipped a scene – Robin went from crying about everyone sending her away to being packed and ready to go. Zuh?

Methinks the Ethan doth protest too much.

April 29th, 2009

Rebecca and Nikolas both wonder if Lucky's spending time with Rebecca to make Elizabeth jealous. Rebecca and Elizabeth battle each other and Rebecca tells Elizabeth that if she's upset to have a coworker dating her ex, she needs to get over it. Nikolas decides to give Lucky and Rebecca a taste of their own medicine by making out with Elizabeth in front of them. Sonny demands that Jax stop forcing Carly to carry their baby. Jax responds by hitting him. Olivia breaks up the fight and tries to calm both men down, but they'd rather hate each other. Claudia broaches the subject with Sonny, wondering if Sonny's worried about Carly dying because of Michael and Morgan or because of himself. He tells her never to talk about the topic with him again. Ethan tells Lulu and Lucky that he's going back to Sydney. Tracy thinks that Ethan and Holly were scamming Luke, but Luke thinks Holly sent Ethan his way because she knows he's Luke's son. He catches Ethan at the airport and again asks him to take a DNA test, admitting that he needs to know if they're related. Matt tries to help Patrick out with Emma but proves pretty useless. The chill between Lulu and Maxie starts to thaw, even with Johnny still hanging around.

Once again, Sonny and Jax inspire me to quote Kate from Lost: "Should I get a ruler?"

I love how Patrick basically took care of Emma by himself for six months, and now that Robin's not there, suddenly everything's chaotic. Because she was such a big help before?

Uh-oh, is Elizabeth going to join the Slept With Siblings Club?

How sad is it that Lulu and Maxie, two of the youngest characters on the show, are showing more maturity than people twice their age?

April 30th, 2009

Maxie asks Jason for help in winning Spinelli back, but Jason has no advice for her. Spinelli wants a gun, which we should probably keep in mind. Maxie makes up a fake stalker (even hiring someone from the magazine to play the part) in order to win Spinelli back, but Winifred is on to her. Jax asks Patrick if he'll participate in Michael's experimental procedure. He and Dr. Henson agree (though she's reluctant), and Patrick decides that the surgery needs to happen sooner than planned. Ethan tells Luke that he feels abandoned and doesn't want to know who his real parents are. Tracy and Luke manage to convince him to get a DNA test anyway. Rebecca and Lucky see through Nikolas and Elizabeth's kiss, but the latter couple goes out to Jake's anyway. They get really drunk and are making out more when Rebecca and Lucky see them again. Jax tells Jason that he can kill Jerry if he needs to, but he should wait until after Carly's pregnancy crisis and Michael's surgery are over.

Yes, Maxie, I'm sure your plan will go off perfectly, without any complications whatsoever. I mean, there's certainly no way Spinelli would, say, steal a gun and shoot your fake stalker. No way at all!

Nikolas and Elizabeth are a lot more palatable together when they're drunk. Actually, a lot of characters on the show would be more palatable if we could just give them alcohol all the time.

Dang, we were so close to getting rid of Ethan. Darn you, Luke and Tracy!

Ug, why is Winifred still here?

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