April 5th, 2014

Next week: Two returns and a new guy? Allegedly?

April 7th, 2014

Britt tells Dante and Lulu where Ben is, and though they're not 100 percent sure they can trust her, they know a potentially false lead is better than no lead. Obrecht makes lots of threats and Nikolas fails to use common sense and not taunt the woman with the gun. She wants to shoot Nikolas since she can't handle two hostages, but Elizabeth notes that Britt wouldn't forgive her for that. Obrecht decides to shoot her instead, so good job, Liz. Then Britt shows up, secretly flanked by police officers. Sam tells Nathan to arrest Madeline, and he reveals that she's his mother. There's an hour of accusations and sad looks and confusion before Madeline admits that she drugged Nina – not to kill her but to get rid of her baby. Ava spent the last 22+ years thinking Silas tried to kill Nina to be with her, and she tracked him down to let him know he should finish off the pharmacist. Morgan thinks she raced off to see him because she's still in love with him, and he followed her to the hospital to discuss it with her. Ava says she'll always care about Silas because of Kiki, then turns it around on Morgan, asking if he doesn't still care about her because they were once married. Fluke asks Tracy for a job at ELQ in an attempt to push his plans forward. Later, he warns Ric that Sonny wants him dead. Alexis wants to take things slowly with Julian, out of respect for Molly's feelings, but she ain't gonna say no to fooling around in the gallery. Ric cuts ties with Julian, confirming for us that they're not in business together beyond an attorney/client relationship.

"Let's spend an hour talking about whether or not Britt's telling the truth, while Obrecht could potentially use this time to escape the country." "Cool."

You know what would make supposedly suspenseful plots seem more suspenseful? Not dragging them out for two weeks.

Silas got two women pregnant at the same time? Sam, USE PROTECTION.

Alexis, while you're taking your daughter's feelings into account before pursuing a relationship with Julian, maybe run things past Sam. She might have something to say about it, too.

April 8th, 2014

A wired Britt enters Elizabeth's house and pretends she's going to take Ben and leave with everything Obrecht's gathered for her to become a fugitive. Obrecht falls for it and hands Ben over. As soon as she does, Britt gives the police the magic phrase and they enter. But they're so horrible at their jobs that Obrecht is still able to shoot Elizabeth before they can overtake her. The good news is that Ben is unharmed and ends the evening with both of his parents. Madeline admits that she drugged Nina to cause a miscarriage. Silas determines that she killed the pharmacist because he was going to tell the truth about giving the prescription to Madeline. Nathan arrests his mother, unwittingly reuniting her with an old acquaintance, Obrecht. Franco bugs Carly about her and Sonny's secret, though he's already figured out what it is. At the end of what's probably been the longest day of his life, Nathan goes home and finds that he's no longer living alone: Maxie's back. Anna tries to comfort Lulu, because I guess Tracy was busy. Olivia feels bad that Michael had to lose his father, even if it means everyone else supposedly got justice for Connie's murder.

Five armed cops in the house and Elizabeth still got shot? The PCPD SUCKS.

Yay, the Nina plot is over! Right? RIGHT?

No one ever accused Franco of being dumb, you know?

Maxie! I didn't realize how much I missed her until she popped up.

April 9th, 2014

Buckle up, because there are a ton of developments in the Obrecht/Madeline/Nathan/Britt arena. First of all, Madeline and Obrecht are sisters. Second of all, Nathan's father disinherited him and Madeline, but Nathan doesn't know why. Third of all, Nathan isn't Madeline's son – he's Obrecht's. Lulu, Dante, and Ben start their family time together, though Lulu's nice enough to let Britt say goodbye to Ben. Maxie has brought along her new boyfriend, Levi, whose love of nature and the environment and positive feelings makes Nathan want to Hulk out. Nikolas is grateful to Britt for helping to save Elizabeth, but he blames her for putting Elizabeth in danger in the first place. He also blames himself, which Elizabeth thinks is crazy. Sonny tells Ava that Carly knows he shot A.J. but promises that she won't tell anyone. Carly swears Franco to secrecy about Sonny, then shares that A.J. told her Ava was somehow involved. She wonders if Sonny is also unaware of how Ava's connected and vows to figure things out herself.

Okay, they jammed, like, eight plot points in there with Obrecht and Madeline, and I don't know where to start with any of them. That was about a month's worth of revelations all at once.

Also, Nathan West and Britt Westbourne. I can't believe I never put that together. I just figured West came from Maura West.

Levi, you'll have to stop calling her Max or people are going to get confused.

Who wants to tell Ava that there are people Carly hates more than her?

April 10th, 2014

Britt and Nathan get drunk together and play Whose Mother Is Worse? The bonding is totally fine until he asks if she wants to leave with him, and then the cringing starts. Obrecht wants to tell Nathan that she's his mother so he can decide whether he'd rather it be her or Madeline. (Talk about a Sophie's choice.) The Nikolas/Elizabeth/Ric triangle is definitely in play, but Elizabeth wants Nikolas to deal with his feelings for Britt and be sure he's really over her. Fluke tells Julian that he's trying to stir up trouble between Sonny and Ric so Sonny won't see them coming. Julian thinks it's a little late, since Ric just quit. Ric tells Sonny what Fluke said about Sonny wanting him dead, which makes Sonny wonder what Fluke's up to. Silas regrets not having his kids in his life when they were younger, but at least he gets to hang out with Danny.

Didn't we get enough ew-worthy stuff with Michael and Kiki? All I can say is, Maxie, please wake up and interrupt Nathan and Britt. PLEASE.

I'm going to go ahead and place money on Victor being Nathan's father.

The look on Nikolas' face says it all: "This guy?"

Hurry, frozen Jason! You're about to be replaced! (Dear Sam and Silas, as always, please use protection.)

April 11th, 2014

Obrecht wants to tell Britt and Nathan that they're siblings before they do exactly what they're about to do. Fortunately, Maxie interrupts them and kills the mood. She also gets the good news (good for her, at least) that Lulu and Dante have a child after all. Obrecht boasts to Madeline that she's going to get out of all the trouble she's in because she has another trick up her sleeve. She summons Dante to the PCPD and asks for freedom in exchange for the news that he and Lulu have another child. Fluke confirms that he told Ric that Sonny's gunning for him, but claims it was because Ric was ranting about Julian going after Sonny. Meanwhile, Spencer tells Nikolas that he overheard Fluke and someone he doesn't know plotting against Sonny. Lulu and Dante rename the baby Rocco. Ric turns on all his charms to win Elizabeth back. Olivia and Sonny are confused by Fluke's existentialist, apathetic response to have another grandchild. Nikolas has to tell Spencer about Britt and Ben Rocco.

God bless you, Maxie Jones.

I can't believe Obrecht hasn't called Victor yet to come save her again.

I fully hope whatever mob kingpin wannabe Fluke is gets brought down by an eavesdropping child.

Why did they have to rename Ben? Ben is a great name! I'm not just saying that because I have a nephew named Ben!

Scorecard:
Arrested: Liesl Obrecht, Madeline Reeves
Back in town: Maxie Jones
New in town: Levi
Hospitalized: Elizabeth Webber

Week in review:
Funniest moment (intentional): Nathan's reaction to Levi
Funniest moment (unintentional): Madeline's real name is Marta, which means we have a Liesl and a Marta. Is there also a Gretel? A Louisa? A Friedrich?
Saddest moment: If I cared about Britt, there would be one. But I don't, so there isn't
Sweetest/cutest moment: Lulu, Dante, and Ben's family reunion
Least believable moment: Why are so many people awake in the middle of the night?
Best instance of continuity: If the supposedly unviable embryo was actually viable, then yes, Dante and Lulu could have another child
Worst instance of continuity: I highly doubt Spencer would call him Uncle Luke
Hero of the week: Maxie, for accidentally saving Britt and Nathan from doing something gross
Most annoying character: Obrecht
Smartest character: Obrecht
Dumbest character: Every cop at Elizabeth's house
Things we learned this week: 1. Madeline and Obrecht are sisters.
2. They're from Zurich.
3. Nathan is Obrecht's son.
4. Maxie went to the Philippines.
Best/most memorable moment of the week: The Falconeri reunion

The week in a nutshell:

• Obrecht and Madeline are sisters, and Obrecht is Nathan's birth mother, meaning he and Britt are siblings. Someone REALLY needs to tell them so they'll keep their hands off each other.
• Britt helped the police rescue Ben (now Rocco) and Elizabeth, though Elizabeth was shot in the process. Rocco was finally reunited with his real parents.
• Madeline admitted to killing Nina while trying to make her miscarry her and Silas' child.
• Franco figured out that Sonny shot A.J., and Carly swore him to secrecy. Now she wants to know how Ava's connected to the shooting.
• Fluke's making moves to use ELQ to take down Sonny.
• Elizabeth is in yet another love triangle.
• Maxie returned with a new boyfriend.
• Ric quit as Julian's lawyer.

April 12th, 2014

Next week: The show remembers that Patrick and Sabrina are having a baby.

April 14th, 2014

Dante tells Lulu that Obrecht claims they have another embryo somewhere. He entertains the thought of making a deal with her to get it, though that would involve immunity for her and Britt. Obrecht threatens to tell Nathan that she's his mother, though when she tries to talk to him, he doesn't have time for her. Madeline still wants to keep quiet, but when she finds out that Nathan and Britt spend the night together, she changes her mind and tells him everything. Nikolas invites Elizabeth, Cameron, and Aiden to move into Wyndemere while Elizabeth recuperates from being shot. Britt thinks Elizabeth manipulated the living arrangements. Levi is on Nathan's last nerve, annoying him so much that there's almost a physical confrontation. Levi thinks Maxie should kick him out so she can avoid his negativity. Carlos shows up for one of Sabrina's doctor's appointments, taunting that Patrick is unreliable and hasn't made her or the baby a priority. Sabrina asks him to back off, sure that Patrick will be there when it counts. Patrick promises that he wants to be a father again and isn't just around because he feels obligated to be. Michael is impatient about the police investigation into A.J.'s murder, but Anna thinks that finding the dealer who sold the gun to the would-be Quartermaine "thief" will give them a break.

They should give Obrecht immunity and then deport her. To the bottom of the harbor. Oops, was that out loud?

Well, Nathan's family secrets didn't stay secret for long. Now ask who your father is!

"Nice beard." Snerk. Carlos, if you keep being randomly witty, you can stay.

Sorry, Michael – missing baby trumps dead father.

April 15th, 2014

Sonny's conscience is bothering him, but instead of Jiminy Cricket, he gets a vision of A.J. taunting him. Carlos tries to get information on the investigation from Michael, and worries that A.J.'s murder will be pinned on him. Ned arrives for A.J.'s funeral and learns that Tracy and Fluke are engaged again. He thinks his mother is nuts. When he meets up with Fluke, Ned requests a pre-nup. Anna and Dante question the dealer who sold Carlos his gun, and he gives a positive ID. Ava accuses Julian of trying to squeeze her out of the business. He fires back with an accusation that she gave Sonny the locations of his safehouses. Duke tells Shawn that the Jeromes have expanded their business. As Shawn guesses that it involves drugs, Jordan tells Julian that she knows about his new business ventures. Fluke gets Tracy to give him a job at ELQ. Duke seems to have put together that Sonny shot A.J., but he promises to stick to the fake alibi. T.J. senses that Shawn and Jordan are keeping something from him.

Maybe Sonny and Olivia can have his-and-hers visions.

Why do people keep asking why Ned's in town? Isn't it obvious?

Nice job, Anna. Too bad it's not going to get you A.J.'s killer.

So...Jordan's a drug dealer? From Baltimore? Is this a Wire thing?

April 16th, 2014

Sonny's hallucinations continue, but he won't tell Olivia what's going on, lashing out at her instead. Olivia makes it clear that she’s not going to stick around if he doesn’t take care of himself. Sonny decides that the only person who can help him is Ava. Carlos and Ava question each other's loyalty, which is good timing since Anna and Dante haul Carlos in for questioning about the break-in and shooting. Ned convinces Tracy to ask Fluke for a pre-nup. Fluke counters by saying that if she doesn't trust him, they shouldn't get married at all. Jordan asks to team up with Julian, but he thinks she's wearing a wire and working for the police. He still doesn't trust her even after she unbuttons her shirt to prove she's not wired. Shawn doesn't think it's a coincidence that drugs are coming into Port Charles just as Jordan has moved there. Duke suggests letting Anna deal with it. Patrick and Sabrina are having a boy.

Not to be insensitive or anything, but Connie died, like, seven months ago. It's time to move on, Olivia.

If the rumors I've read are correct, Ava's the last person Sonny should be talking to.

Watch out, Alexis – Julian and Jordan have some fiery chemistry. Also, didn't I say it would be more fun if she just came out as bad? Also also, Jordan's shirt needed to come off. It looks like the smock they put on you when you get your hair cut.

Yay, now Patrick will have a boy and a girl!

April 17th, 2014

Sonny tells Ava that he's seeing A.J., but his guilt is alleviated when she's around. She urges him to keep his mouth shut, though it's not clear if she'd really be okay with letting Carlos take the fall. Carlos admits that the gun is his but claims it was stolen months ago. Anna gets his DNA from a water bottle to test against some blood found on a piece of the vase Tracy broke over his head. Lulu asks Britt if she knows anything about the alleged third embryo. Britt doesn't but thinks she and Dante should believe Obrecht. Spencer isn't happy to hear that Elizabeth, Cameron, and an invisible Aiden will be staying at Wyndemere (or that he has to share his Easter candy with the kid who stole his girlfriend). Elizabeth is still concerned that Nikolas isn't over Britt, though it doesn't really matter, since she and Nikolas are totally platonic, right? Fluke gets Tracy to drop the idea of a pre-nup. Maxie tries to kick Nathan out of the apartment, then changes her mind when she finds out all the crap he's gone through in the past 24 hours. Levi has no compassion and is a jerk. Nikolas thinks Spencer misheard the conversation between Sonny and Fluke, since there's no reason to think the latter would be plotting against the former. Spencer ignores him and calls Sonny to warn him.

Can Dante and Lulu get the charges against Obrecht dropped? Kidnapping is a federal offense. I don't think they can influence the case at all. Either way, what they should do is hire Sam to try to find out where Obrecht might have stashed the embryo, and see if they can get it without Obrecht.

Oh, your mom doesn't make idle threats, so there must be an embryo? She could be lying, Britt. You've heard of lying, haven't you?

I feel you, Spencer. Cadbury Creme Eggs are awesome.

Can't wait till Levi inevitably gets kicked to the curb in favor of Nathan. Hurry it up, Maxie.

April 18th, 2014

Dante and Anna try to convince Carlos to flip on the Jeromes since they've left him hanging. Diane arrives, and Carlos admits to her that he did break into the Quartermaines'. Ava interrupts to tell Carlos to keep his mouth shut, but Carlos is happy to be surrounded by people who can protect him from her. Ava takes things to the next level, threatening to harm Sabrina if Carlos betrays her. Ned has a pre-nup drawn up and blasts Tracy when she tells him she won't be signing it. Once they're alone, Fluke tells Ned to back off or Fluke will kill him. Sonny won't answer Spencer's calls, so Spencer goes to his house to tell him about Fluke. Sonny's too busy yelling at A.J. to answer the door. Spencer then goes to the Quartermaines' to confront Fluke. The news of Carlos' arrest makes Carly think that one of the Jeromes hired him to break into the Quartermaines (and possibly kill A.J.). She and Franco fight over her desire to investigate farther, but he actually wants to help her. He spray-paints his hotel room so Olivia will have him arrested and he'll have access to Carlos. Fluke ambushes Kiki at Silas' place and confronts her for telling Tracy that he hit on her. He accuses her of trying to break up him and Tracy so she can be with him. Things get physical and Kiki finally knees him in a place she should have kneed him weeks ago. Then she tells Morgan what happened, gaining herself a bodyguard and putting a target on Fluke's back. Ava and Morgan are all in love and stuff, and isn't that just great? Olivia walks out on Sonny, telling Carly that he's out of control but won't tell her what's going on.

Oh, Ava. Don't threaten the one person who's standing between you and prison.

Spencer's pretty smart for a kid who NEVER GOES TO SCHOOL.

It probably won't happen, but wouldn't it be funny if Carlos got released before Franco was even booked?

Morgan is going to kick himself when he finds out what his girlfriend's been up to.

Scorecard:
Arrested: Franco Frank, Carlos Rivera
Back in town: Ned Ashton

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Sabrina and Patrick laughing at their doctor over her assurance that their son is, um, healthy; Dante, re: Franco's tagging: "My kid could do better"
Funniest moment (unintentional): Fluke saying he was a different person back when he married Tracy the first time – if my theory is correct, he was literally a different person then
Saddest moment: N/A
Sweetest/cutest moment: Patrick and Sabrina's happiness over the baby
Least believable moment: Franco tagged an entire room in, like, five minutes
Best instances of continuity: Luke was in an avalanche; CO77X
Worst instance of continuity: Carlos' gun dealer can't be charged as an accessory to A.J.'s murder – A.J. wasn't shot with Carlos' gun
Hero of the week: I think Franco thinks it's him
Most annoying character: Levi
Smartest characters: Ned, Carly
Dumbest character: Ava

The week in a nutshell:

• Carlos was arrested, and Anna and Dante were able to tie him to the break-in at the Quartermaines', but not to A.J.'s murder. Ava won't be helping him. Carly suspected that Carlos was acting on a Jerome's orders, so Franco got himself arrested to find out.
• In town for A.J.'s funeral, Ned questioned Tracy's decision to remarry Fluke and tried to talk her into a pre-nup. Fluke was displeased.
• Spencer tried to tell Sonny that Fluke is scheming against him, but Sonny's hallucinations of A.J. have made his life a lot harder. Spencer decided to confront Fluke himself.
• Madeline told Nathan about his real family tree.
• Jordan was a very bad girl back in Baltimore, and wants to be a bad girl again with Julian. (Not like that. Okay, maybe like that, too.)
• Kiki won't be putting up with Fluke's advances anymore.
• Patrick and Sabrina found out they're having a boy.
• Elizabeth, Cameron, and Aiden moved into Wyndemere, much to Spencer's dismay.
• Obrecht's story about a third embryo is still unverified.
• Levi was a jerk.

April 19th, 2014

Next week: Fun times at the PCPD.

April 21st, 2014

Fluke threatens to hurt Spencer if he tells anyone about what he overheard between him and Julian. Spencer points out that Nikolas would fight back if that happened, so Fluke threatens Emma instead. That seems to do the trick, but since Sonny's there now, we'll see if it's stuck. In the category of successful threats, Ava gets Carlos to clam up by threatening Sabrina and the baby. Michael asks Sonny to come to A.J.'s funeral, but Sonny reasonably notes that Monica wouldn't be happy about that. Emma invites Sabrina to a dance recital without telling Patrick, making him think that she's still upset with him about the egg incident. He never told her the baby's really his, so he finally does, but she's not that happy about it. Franco rejects Diane's help, and his plan proceeds the way he wants. Ric is super-jealous of the fact that Elizabeth's staying at Wyndemere.

Patrick's 2 for 2 in having his kids threatened today.

My guess is Emma's problem is that the baby isn't a girl.

Ric. You're coming off like a stalker. Chill.

Why does Monica still have Heather's painting up in the house?

April 22nd, 2014

Ned meets Kiki and learns that Fluke has been harassing her. He tells her and Morgan about Luke's history of violence against women and suggests that they set up a trap so Tracy can see what's going on. Fluke's threats scare Spencer into silence, so Sonny just thinks he's upset about Emma and about Sonny ignoring him earlier. Nikolas collects his son and grounds him for skipping school, which means Spencer can't go to Emma's dance recital. He tries to enlist Cameron to protect Emma, but since he can't tell Cameron what's going on, that plan is a bust. At least Elizabeth thinks he might not be completely crazy. Poor Emma is confused about the whole you're-getting-a-brother-no-wait-you're-not-no-actually-you-are thing, and she's worried that Sabrina and Patrick's baby will turn out to be someone else's. Once they assure her he won't, she's excited to have a little brother. Franco gets to work on wearing Carlos down, but Carlos is too worried about Sabrina and the baby to spill anything. Carly corners Ava and questions her connection to A.J.'s shooting, like Ava's going to tell her anything. Sabrina doesn't think Carlos had anything to do with A.J.'s shooting.

Thank you, Ned, for bringing up a piece of Luke's past that I didn't want to bring up myself. Not that I think this is Luke, but...you know what I mean.

Spencer's school sucks. They took all day to tell Nikolas that he wasn't in school?

Poor Emma. She didn't ask to be born in a soap opera.

I would have thought Carly and Franco's fake fight with interspersed "I love you"s was cute, but he's too boring for that to happen.

April 23rd, 2014

Spencer sneaks over to Emma's dance recital to tell her he wants to protect her, but she reminds him that she's chosen Cameron. Nikolas catches Spencer and mentions what he did to Elizabeth. Fluke eavesdrops, then makes a phone call. Ava learns that Franco got arrested and puts together that he wants information from Carlos. As a preemptive strike, she also makes a phone call. As Patrick, Sabrina, and Emma are driving home, they get into a car accident. Ned's plan doesn't work, thanks to Fluke catching on and making it look like Kiki's hitting on him. Franco gets Carlos to open up to him and admit that Ava threatened Sabrina and the baby. Franco offers to protect Sabrina if Carlos will tell him the truth about the break-in. Carlos comes clean about Ava sending him to the Quartermaines' to kill A.J. Carly and Monica both slam Sonny for coming to A.J.'s memorial but decide to shut up about it since Michael wants him there. After the service, Sonny goes to the crypt to mope and encounters the hallucin-A.J. again, then Ava. Ava also sees Kiki and Morgan hugging and thinks there's something going on there.

I hate to bring this up, but no one's lost a baby in a long time. Let's hope the odds are in Patrick and Sabrina's favor.

Did Franco actually do something right??

I still love Carly bragging about getting the upper hand on someone.

I thought Luke was going to do something to Elizabeth and I almost flipped out. I may dislike her most of the time, but I'll always be sensitive to the fact that she was raped.

I also love that Mac is a dance parent. It's adorable.

April 24th, 2014

Sonny tells Ava again that he's overwhelmed with guilt over killing A.J., and she begs him not to go to the police. Then for some reason they start tearing each other's clothes off. Patrick and Emma are unhurt, but Sabrina goes into labor. Good thing Britt comes upon the scene of the accident. Emma reports that someone ran them off the road, which Nathan's detectiving confirms. Spencer again tries to tell Cameron that Emma's in trouble, then starts to text her everything he knows. When he learns about the accident, he calls Fluke to promise again that he'll keep quiet. Franco tries to get more information out of Carlos, but they're interrupted when they learn that Sabrina was in an accident. Franco passes the news on to Carly that Ava ordered Carlos to kill A.J.; now they just need to figure out why. Carlos calls Ava to let her know how unhappy he is that she (possibly) followed through on her threats against Sabrina. Morgan blows up at Fluke in front of Carly and Michael, then has to apologize since he doesn't want to tell them what's been going on.

Ewwwwwww, Ava wants to join the Slept With Father and Son Club. And now Olivia needs a new boyfriend.

Hey, Sabrina, would you rather deliver your baby on the side of the road after a car accident WITH help from an OB/GYN, or without it? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Other things I thought: that the car would catch on fire and Britt would save Emma, to speed up the writers' Operation: Redeem Britt.

I wonder if this will lead Carlos to turn to Julian? He'd be smart to.

April 25th, 2014

Sonny and Ava do totally inappropriate things together, especially for a mausoleum. Morgan finds them and immediately guesses what they did. It's another strike against Sonny in the You Love Michael More game, and a fulfillment of everyone's predictions about Ava. Morgan immediately goes to tell Olivia what happened, arriving just moments before Sonny. Sabrina has the baby, so cue the preemie angst. Anna thinks Britt could have caused the accident, which means Nathan has to question his sister (who still doesn't know she's his sister). Carlos threatens Ava for an hour until she finally visits him. Carly drops the charges against Franco, who wants to tell Anna what Ava's been up to. Olivia asks Duke if he knows why Sonny's been acting so weird. Duke plays dumb. Lucy, Felix, and Epiphany remind us that the Nurses' Ball is coming up.

Once again, Bryan Craig impresses me. Look how well he held his own with two soap vets.

So Sonny killed Michael's father and slept with Morgan's girlfriend. Watch your back, Dante.

Hope they kept the preemie robot they used when Kristina was born.

So this is probably not a good time for Nathan to tell Britt they have the same mom.

Scorecard:
Born: Unnamed baby Drake
Hospitalized: Sabrina Santiago

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Spencer calling Cameron a "two-bit townie"; Ava to Carly: "I'd offer you a ride, but I despise you"; Carlos to Franco: "Are you trying to be boring on purpose?"
Funniest moment (unintentional): "Oh, that's right, you two are expecting." Yes, Nikolas, that's why Sabrina is looking so different these days
Saddest moment: Patrick and Sabrina worrying about the baby
Sweetest/cutest moment: Emma's eventual excitement over getting a baby brother
Least believable moment: N/A
Best instances of continuity: Luke's history of rape, and how no one ever talks about it; the ambulance took a while to get to Sabrina because the mayor closed the bridge
Worst instance of continuity:N/A
Hero of the week: Britt. Isn't that weird?
Most annoying character: N/A
Smartest characters: Franco, Spencer
Dumbest character:N/A
Thing we learned this week: Nikolas is familiar with Nancy Drew.

The week in a nutshell:

• Either Ava or Luke caused a crash involving Patrick, Emma, and Sabrina, who delivered the baby.
• Sonny and Ava got it on in the Quartermaine mausoleum, then were promptly found by a furious Morgan.
• Ned set up a trap to get Tracy to catch Fluke hitting on Kiki, but it didn't work.
• Franco's plan worked, and he got Carlos to tell him that Ava sent him to the Quartermaines' to kill A.J. Now Franco wants to tell Anna everything.
• Fluke scared Spencer into silence.
• Ric needs a hobby or something.
• A.J. was buried, and it was the least eventful thing that happened this week.

April 26th, 2014

Next week: Dante makes a horrible decision.

April 28th, 2014

Ava uses Sabrina to get Carlos to make another deal with her. Carly and Franco try multiple times to tell Anna that Ava put a hit out on A.J., but they keep getting interrupted. Just as they see Ava at the station and realize that she got to Carlos, Carlos confesses to killing A.J. Patrick asks Britt for statistics and facts about the baby's condition, and she admits that the odds are only 50/50 of him surviving. Sabrina makes Felix take her to her son, risking the wrath of Epiphany. Morgan tries to get Sonny to confess his infidelity to Olivia, but he's not successful. Michael asks Kiki to talk to Ava and try to get her to explain why A.J. was at her place the night he was shot. Kiki agrees to help, even though she doesn't think Ava will tell her anything, and believes A.J. was killed by someone who truly hated him. Anna assigns Nathan to investigate Britt's presence at the scene of the car accident. She's too busy to listen when he tries to tell her that he probably shouldn't be working on a case involving his sister. Kiki finds Ava's earring in the crypt.

Oh, Carlos. You should have told Anna that Ava killed Connie. You had nothing to lose.

I can't wait until Sabrina finds out what Carlos did and tells him, "I'm fine. You're a moron."

Awww, Felix. That was big of him, thanking Britt for helping Sabrina. He probably had to go take a shower immediately afterwards to feel clean again.

Sorry, Nathan, but you have to investigate Britt. The only other cop on this show is Dante, and he hates her.

April 29th, 2014

Morgan interrupts a date between Julian and Alexis to tell Julian that Ava's been working against him with Sonny. The next time Julian sees his sister, he plans to greet her with a bullet. Alexis warns Sonny that Julian knows about Ava's betrayal, which means that stream of information is going to dry up. Carlos "confesses" that he went to the Quartermaines to steal money for Sabrina and the baby. He was at Ava's the night A.J. was shot, and when A.J. showed up, he recognized Carlos from the break-in. He was going to call the police, so Carlos shot him. Michael and Anna are satisfied with the "confession," but Carly and Franco don't buy it and decide to keep trying to dig up information on Ava. Ava tells Kiki that she has no idea why Carlos would go after A.J. Kiki returns her missing earring and still has no idea why Ava was really in the crypt. T.J. gets into PCU, and though he's happy, he tells Molly he's sad that his father isn't around to celebrate with him. He also feels bad about the way he treated Shawn when he first moved in with him, because Shawn and Thomas were so close. Well, according to Jordan, they weren't – she warns Shawn that if he tells T.J. she's dealing drugs (and spent their two years apart in jail), she'll tell him that Thomas' death wasn't an accident. Oh, and she's definitely working for Julian, who sent her to pick up a shipment. Olivia would rather stay with Sonny than learn what he's been keeping from her, so their brief separation is over.

It ain't gonna happen, but Julian killing Ava would solve a lot of people's problems.

Aww, I actually feel sorry for Carlos. He really should have gone to Julian.

Oh, so now Shawn's a murderer? Wait, he was already a murderer. Okay, carry on.

Who's more naive: Molly or Olivia?

April 30th, 2014

Despite having no evidence that a third embryo actually exists or attempting to find it on their own, Dante and Lulu have decided to accept Obrecht's deal. Lulu gets Nikolas and Elizabeth to drop the charges, and Dante talks Scott into doing the same, which he's willing to do because of his own experiences with surrogacy, and the flimsiest plot connection in history. Nathan tells Britt that he's determined she didn't cause the car accident, then informs her that they're siblings. Meanwhile, Madeline tells Obrecht that she had to tell Nathan the truth to keep him and Britt from doing anything gross. She also insists that she has a plan to get herself out of jail. Just before she's transferred to New York, Madeline tells Nathan that Nina isn't dead after all. Fluke objects to Julian bringing Jordan into their business, even though Julian insists that she's totally trustworthy, since she didn't wear a wire and hasn't screwed them over yet. He tells Julian not to let Jordan know he's involved with the drugs. Jordan asks for information on where the drug money's being laundered, but Julian's at least smart enough not to give her that much. Shawn keeps taking potshots at Jordan, and seriously, T.J. is, like, two seconds away from figuring it all out, so shut it, Shawn. Lucy and Kevin used to be interesting, right? Does anyone else remember that? Fluke tries to make Shawn think that Ric can't be trusted.

I can't decide what's more painful: 1. Obrecht's dialogue. 2. Shawn and Jordan's never-ending rehashing of the same tired plot points. 3. The increasingly dumb twists involving Madeline. 4. Luke calling Shawn "dawg" and "bro."

Also, if Nina's alive, why did Madeline let herself be kept in a holding cell for THREE DAYS?

Dante, Lulu, you need to stop making decisions based on what you want to be true and start making them based on proof. As a cop, you'd think Dante would get that.

Did I share my Jordan theory? I don't think I did. Here it is: I think she's really an undercover DEA agent. And if she's not, she should be, because wouldn't that be a great twist? Very Dominic-is-actually-Dante-and-an-undercover-cop.

Speaking of Jordan, who dressed her today? Bad stylist! Bad! But the person who picked out Elizabeth's dress did an excellent job – that color was gorgeous.

Hey, Scott, your situation wasn't quite the same as Dante and Lulu's, since you already had a kid (well, three, but you didn't know about two of them), but thanks for bringing up the fact that Lucy was a surrogate. I kept wanting someone to mention that when Maxie was one.

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