General Hospital blog - August, 2007

August 1st, 2007

Ric manages to control the questioning so Elizabeth is asked if sheís ever slept with Jason. Jerry beats up on Nikolas (whoís just cut him off from Cassadine funds), then gets Carlyís help to enlist Spinelli to give them information on Alcazar so they can go to Venezuela and somehow exonerate Jason. Kate and Sonny are both unhelpful to Ricís case against Jason. Amelia meets a witness who claims to have seen Jason taking Alcazarís body out of his house. Irina wants revenge against JerryÖbut first, sex with Jax! Lulu admits to Spinelli that she doesnít see them ever being romantically involved.

Okay, if Diane didnít object at all to Ricís questions about Elizabethís relationship with Jason, she kind of sucks as a lawyer. Kate should be a professional witness, though.

Tune in tomorrow for the further wacky adventures of Jerry and Carly! Or, you know, not.

Logan? No one cares.

Lucky, seriously, go draw up some divorce papers and save yourself some time.

August 2nd, 2007

Elizabeth admits in court that she slept with Jason. Amelia warns Sam about the testimony, so Sam alerts Nikolas to go support Lucky. Carly and Jerry head to Venezuela. Jax tries to get Irina to leave the room so he can use her cell phone. Kate starts bonding with Michael and Morgan. Lulu and Logan play pool with the agreement that if she wins, he has to leave her alone, but if he wins, she has to go out on a date with him.

Carlyís going to be so ticked when she finds out Michael and Morgan like Kate. I canít wait!

How many days till Carly and Jerry do something ambiguously romantic? Probably not many.

More boring: bad-boy Logan or trying-too-hard Logan? Discuss.

Wait till Lucky finds out how many people knew about Elizabeth and Jason (including his brother and sister)....

August 3rd, 2007

Elizabeth commits perjury in order to keep the truth about Jakeís paternity from Lucky. Later, she lets loose on Ric for hurting people intentionally. A delirious Jerry kisses Carly, thinking sheís Irina. Jax would rather be tortured than cheat on Carly, but heíll let Irina think otherwise. Sam tells Jason that Elizabeth lied about Jakeís paternity to keep Jason from ever claiming him - if he does, Elizabeth will be proven a perjurer. Lulu and Logan have a date and kiss.

Someone get Lucky a calculator, because it took him about 20 minutes to even entertain the thought that Jake might be Jasonís son. Yes, heís exactly the person I want protecting and serving my hometown.

Sonny? Have Coop steal the freaking recorder already.

Carly and Jerry kissed already? That was quick! Irina an idiot?

Did anyone else laugh when Nikolas flinched because Lucky threw a stuffed animal? It was stuffed! It wouldnít have hurt!

Kidnapped: Jax Jacks
Left town: Carly Jacks, Jerry Jacks
Perjurer: Elizabeth Spencer

August 4th, 2007

Next week: more trial stuff, Skye stands up to Ric, and...more trial stuff.

August 6th, 2007

Carly has to tend to Jerry, and then someone tries to kill them. (Good times.) Kate saves Morgan from drowning, then passes out. Ric offers up a plea bargain, and Jason worries that heíll hurt people he loves until Jason accepts it. Elizabeth keeps lying to Lucky. Robin, Patrick, Lulu, and Logan were there, too.

If Kate is pregnant...well, Iíll probably cry, but after that Iíll laugh my head off. (Of course, she stands a 1 in 3 chance of miscarrying. Itís Port Charles, after all.)

If Lucky is this mad that Sam knew about Jason and Elizabeth and kept quiet, wait till he finds out, you know, HIS SISTER KNEW. Just keeping things in perspective.

Raise your hand if you care about Noah and Annaís possible sex life. Thought so.

You know, if one of my brothers were on trial for murder, I would visit him in lockup...well, more than once. Way to go, Emily.

August 7th, 2007

Sonny rushes Kate to the hospital, where he learns that she was bitten by a poisonous snake. He tells Epiphany about their past together and is obviously totally smitten. Diane considers trying to discredit Ric, then warns Jason that he might not get an acquittal. Robin and Patrick want Anna and Noah to keep things professional, but Anna and Noah want them to butt out. For some reason Robin wonít have sex with Patrick until their parents split up. Jerry kills the shooter with a pen, and Carly tells the police that she thinks Alcazar is alive and after her. Sam tells Lucky sheís sorry for keeping Elizabeth and Jasonís night together a secret from him.

Way to have confidence in your lawyering skills, there, Diane.

Hey, Patrick? If youíre trying to get your girlfriend in the mood for sex, itís probably best not to mention her mother.

Someone please cancel The Carly and Jerry Show. Iíd much rather watch, say, The Jax and Alexis Show.

Between the poisonous snakes, the gun battles, and the random explosions, Iím staying the heck away from Port Charles.

August 8th, 2007

Skye commits perjury, saying that she didnít see Jason around the time Alcazar disappeared. Ric then gets her to admit that Alcazar wouldnít abandon his daughter. Jerry tries to make a bank official think Alcazar is alive, going so far as to place a call to ďAlcazarĒ so the official can talk to him. Noah drinks, then begs off of surgery with Patrick. Lulu gets a birthday present from Logan in the form of a make-out session. The Quartermaines want to know if Jason is Jakeís father, but Lulu wonít tell them anything. Sam tells Lucky that Elizabeth is to blame for her breakup with Jason. Elizabeth comes home from court to find Sam and Lucky playing with Cameron and Jake together.

Hi, Skye! Too bad the first time we see you in forever, youíre committing perjury. Also, Diane should probably be nicer to Skye, since sheís the one person besides Jason who knows exactly what happened.

I donít get why Noah doesnít just tell people heís a) decided to quit drinking or b) wants to be professional about playing a charity gig. With so many celebrities going to rehab, no one would be surprised.

Are the writers thinking what Iím thinking re: Alcazar? Identical triplets!

Happy Birthday, Lulu! I wish you a normal family.

August 9th, 2007

Ric questions Alcazarís gardener, who supposedly saw Jason leaving the house with Alcazarís body. Sonny tries to intimidate Skye into supporting Jason, but sheís not game. Jerry runs out of ideas. Sonny takes Kate home, where Alexis accidentally freaks her out by pointing out that Sonny comes with a family. Lulu is reluctant to have sex again after what happened the last time she did.

It would totally be just like Sam to go after Lucky. But Elizabeth needs to act like a grownup, take responsibility for her own actions, and not tattle to Samís mommy.

For a short murder trial, Ric is sure taking his sweet time getting all the evidence out there.

Oh, Lulu. Just go on the pill. (Kate, you should probably take that advice, too.)

Why is all the Venezula action happening off-screen? I guess they didnít want to build new sets.

August 10th, 2007

Jerry manufactures evidence to prove that Alcazar is alive, then makes sure it gets to Diane. Jason tells Diane that Alcazarís gardener faked his testimony because Jason killed his brother. Just as Sonny is trying to convince Kate to stay in Port Charles, Mac arrives to arrest her. Coop catches Logan and Maxie making out. Sonny is furious to learn from Spinelli that Carly and Jerry are in Venezuela. Alexis warns Sam not to make any rash decisions regarding Lucky and revenge on Elizabeth. Nikolas takes Elizabethís side and tries to defend her to Lucky.

So...this means the trial is over, right? Because thereís only so long they can keep dragging out three days.

Wow, Nikolas is kind of a bad brother. Can he get his own plot now so heíll stay out of this one?

Poor Spinelli. He needs a geeky, Internet-loving girlfriend.

Wonder what Kate did. Letís take bets!

Almost acquitted: Jason Morgan
Arrested: Kate Howard
Perjurers: Skye Quartermaine, that gardener
Probably going to be murdered by his best friend: Logan Hayes

August 11th, 2007

Next week: more Irina stuff, Sam does exactly what sheís been warned against doing, and Jason gets his verdict. (Gee, I wonder if theyíll give him the death penalty?)

August 13th, 2007

The judge allows Diane to admit Jerryís fake evidence, which she expresses her gratitude to Jerry over. Kate is booked for reckless driving and her second hit-and-run. Coop blasts Maxie and Logan for making out, then fights with Maxie in front of Spinelli. Spinelli tells Lulu about Logan and Maxieís kiss, but she thinks heís lying. Nikolas is on to Sam. Lucky doesnít appreciate Elizabeth asking Alexis to tell Sam to back off.

Ric, youíre an idiot. I hope when he inevitably loses the case, Alexis gets to return as DA.

Why doesnít Lulu tell Elizabeth that she knows Jason is Jakeís father? There was no reason not to tell her before, and now she has an excuse to mention it. Maybe she just doesnít hate Elizabeth and want to hold something over her head the way I do (though with me itís more that Iíd like to drop something on her head. Something heavy and painful).

Carly? Jason is not your husband. Chill.

Poor Coop and Spinelli. They should form a Lonely, Misunderstood Men Club.

August 14th, 2007

Ric recalls Sam to the stand, hoping sheíll be angry enough over Jason and Elizabethís affair that sheíll make up stuff about Jason killing Alcazar, but she doesnít give in. The prosecution rests and Diane gets to remind the jury that no one ever found Alcazarís body. Irina wants Jax for a sex slave, and she wants Carly to know all about it. Robin fights with Patrick, then admits that she thinks she might be pregnant. Kate is released into Sonnyís custody and trades clothes with a hooker to get past the press. Sonny tries to make her realize how serious her situation could be. Carly gives Lulu advice on being with Logan and still staying friends with Spinelli.

Yay for Sam for being mature! Yeah, she still got in a dig at Jason while she was on the stand, but she was still pretty mature for Sam.

Funny how the doctors (especially the ones who use protection) are the ones who get pregnant so easily. Maybe Robin and Patrick use Enduros?

Something tells me Irina wonít live through this storyline, if only because Carlyís absolutely going to murder her.

Poor Jason. Even facing conviction for murder, people still want his help with their personal lives.

August 15th, 2007

Jasonís verdict comes back (but of course, we donít get to hear it yet). Jerry tells Carly that he hired ďIrinaĒ to pretend sheís with Jax, but Carly figures out that heís lying and doesnít actually know where Jax is. Robin isnít pregnant but isnít as happy as she expected to be. Tracy wants Logan and Scott to take a paternity test. Edward and Monica forbid Lulu from seeing Logan.

Gee, I wonder what the verdict will be? Pretend Iím that gullible.

Speaking of Carly, why does she believe anything Jerry says?

Can we stop with the whole Robin-thinks-Patrick-has-commitment-issues thing? Heís been with her for, what, a year and a half now? Itís just not realistic anymore.

Apparently Edward and Monica have forgotten what happens when you forbid someone from dating someone else. Youíd think theyíd remember everything they did wrong while raising Emily.

August 16th, 2007

Jason is exonerated (shocker) and Elizabeth wastes no time in seeing him. Jerry sneaks off to Turkey to find Jax. Carly gets Max to tell her where heís going and makes him promise not to tell Sonny sheís on her way there, too. Irina still likes torturing Jax, who she has shot with a tranquilizer dart. Ric vows to go after Sonny next.

Jason needs to get good news more often so he can smile ALL THE TIME.

Dear Lucky, get a divorce and a paternity test. Not necessarily in that order.

Oh, Ric. Youíre such a child. I for one canít wait until Trevor comes (next week, supposedly) and Ricís daddy issues are brought out in the open.

Iím impressed that Carly knows where Turkey is.

August 17th, 2007

Irina thinks Jerry is moving in, so she decides to kill Jax sooner rather than later. Carly sweet-talks a customs official to help her find Jerry. Kate wants to go to Paris for a fashion event, but Mommy and Daddy (AKA Diane and Sonny) say no. She vows to go anyway and Sonny says heíll teach her a lesson in humility. Elizabeth, Cameron, and Jake are ambushed by men with guns who know sheís connected to Jason. Spinelli thinks Jason should move in on Elizabeth, but Lulu wants him to keep quiet. Things between Sam and Lucky progress exactly as youíd expect.

Trying to summon up some anxiety towards Elizabeth...nope, not happening.

Canít Lucky be the smart one for once? It would be funny if he knew Sam was trying to play him and was just playing along. I doubt it, but it would still be a nice development.

Okay, Diane has to become a regular. Sheís so much more interesting than half the cast.

Cue Irinaís horrible, violent, bloody death in 3...2...

About to be kidnapped: Elizabeth Spencer, Jake Spencer, Cameron Webber
Exonerated: Jason Morgan
Kind of an adulterer: Jax Jacks
Left town: Carly Jacks, Jerry Jacks

August 19th, 2007

This week: Sam is...Sam, Ricís father shows up, and Rick Springfield finally sings.

August 20th, 2007

Sam pretends to save Elizabeth, Cameron, and Jake from the gunmen, who she hired. Jason tells Elizabeth he wants to try to have a life with her and the kids, then decides itís too dangerous. Irina finds Jerry and Carly and tells them she killed Jax. Sonny wants to make sure Kate knows she could be facing jail time. Lulu and Logan are about to have sex or something.

Irina is such an idiot. And so is Carly, if she believes that Jax is dead.

Wow, Sam is evil. Respectably so, though.

I couldnít care less whether Jason and Elizabeth get together. I could try, but it would take more effort than Iím willing to put forth.

You know, sometimes I wonder why Mike gets any screen time anymore. The toaster just gots its SAG card, however.

August 21st, 2007

Carly finds Jax, but Irina catches her before the two of them can escape. Jason decides itís too risky to be with Elizabeth. Logan and LuluÖyou know. Maxie shows up and Logan tells her the deal is off since he doesnít think Lulu will ever sleep with him. Diane brokers a deal for Kate, who repays her with a private fitting. Ric is unhappy with the situation and vows to throw the book at Kate. Lucky wants to try to salvage his marriage, for some reason.

Anyone care about Carly? Iím just wondering what it feels like.

Awww, Logan is so noble. How long till this blows up in his face?

Iíve said it before and Iíll say it again: more Diane, please!

Lucky is going to feel like a HUGE idiot when the truth inevitably comes out.

August 22nd, 2007

Elizabeth admits to Emily that she loves Jason, then asks Sonny to take care of him. He criticizes her decisions regarding Jason. Kate thinks Ric is trying to damage her to get to Sonny, so she tells him sheíll cut all ties to Sonny if Ric okays her deal with the ADA. He refuses, letting her know that Sonny has manic depression. Kate then makes out with some guy (who Iím 99 percent sure is Trevor Lansing). Jason and Spinelli think Ric was behind Elizabethís near-kidnapping. Noah comes down with stage fright, then a completely contrived throat injury. Sam tells Lucky she feels like the guys in the park may come after her, then asks him to be her bodyguard. Max is on to Sam.

I LOVE that Sonny totally put the smackdown on Elizabeth for being so wishy-washy about Jason. That was AWESOME.

Interesting that Jason and Spinelli both think Ric is to blame for the confrontation in the park. What would be even more interesting is Sam finding out and using that to deflect attention from herself.

So...does this mean Kate knows who Ric is in relation to Trevor? Because that would be really weird.

Remember when Emily and Nikolas had plotlines? Yeah, me neither.

August 23rd, 2007

Trevor (who happens to be a mob attorney) is more than happy to help Kate get the better of Ric. Robin grants Eli a temporary release from the hospital so he can sing and Noah can lip sync, but Contrivance has other ideas. Spinelli discovers where the guys from the park can be found. Lucky agrees to be Samís bodyguard. Her first potentially dangerous visitor is, of course, Elizabeth. Maxie tells Sam of her plans for Lulu and Sam warns her not to use sex as revenge. Nikolas and Emily are really, really boring.

Trevor is obviously a total worm...and yet Iím ten times more interested in anything heís doing than in everything else going on right now.

Really, how many people want to hear Rick Springfield sing? This isnít the Ď80s, remember.

Shut up and take your own advice, Sam. But mostly just shut up.

This Nikolas/business stuff is going somewhere, right? Itís not just an excuse for me to take a quick nap between Trevor scenes?

Two days in a row without Carly! Did Christmas come early this year?

August 24th, 2007

Sonny warns Ric that Anthony Zacchara is going to invade Port Charles and flood the town with drugs. Ric is apathetic until Kate tells him Trevor is her lawyer. Max then brings Trevor to Sonny, who has just learned from Kate who he is. Jerry tells Irina heís only been hanging around Port Charles to screw over Jax, so heíd be more than happy to kill Carly and run off with Irina. Jason and Spinelli find the guys from the park, who spill that Sam paid them to scare Elizabeth. Anna splits town, but not before telling the crowd about having a daughter with HIV, making out with Noah a few more times, and freaking out Patrick by encouraging Robin to have children. Lucky decides itís not worth it to work on his marriage and goes off to make out with Sam instead.

Everyone say ďAnthony ZaccharaĒ a few more times, please. No one has said it enough yet.

Oh, Jerry, you mustnít tease me so. Just pull the trigger already. Though Iím sure either there are no bullets in the gun or heíll turn and shoot Irina instead. Either way, I know Iíll be disappointed.

Hey, Elizabeth? Even though you and Lucky slept with other people on the same night, he didnít have a baby with someone else and then lie about it. So shut up. (Also, you may think no one who had sex the night of the blackout is ďholierĒ than anyone else, but what about Alexis? Maybe youíve forgotten about her since sheís handling things maturely and...also is nowhere to be seen.)

ĎBye, Anna! Iím...still not sure why you dropped by, honestly.

About to do something naughty: Lucky Spencer and Sam McCall
Kidnapped: Carly Jacks, Jerry Jacks
Left town: Anna Scorpio
New in town: Trevor Lansing

August 25th, 2007

Next week: Jason confronts Sam (awesome), Jerry keeps playing with peopleís minds, and lots of Trevor/Ric/Sonny stuff.

August 27th, 2007

Jerry declares his love for Irina, then kills her. Disgusted, Jax cuts him loose and heads home with Carly. Trevor and Sonny face off. Trevor later tells Kate that Sonny tried to kill Adela when he was a kid. Amelia is sure that Sam is only going after Lucky for revenge. Elizabeth wonít admit to Emily that sheís in love with Jason.

Apparently everything six-year-olds do determine what theyíre going to be like as adults. I probably shouldnít have eaten all that glue as a kid...

Is it just me or do Carly and Jax have zero chemistry? Seriously, even their body language makes me think they donít want to sit next to each other, let alone have sex. She had more chemistry with Jerry when she was supposed to hate him.

Oh, Sam, you got some Ďsplaining to do...

Emily just keeps gaining points with me. Today it was for talking about emotional infidelity. Sheís definitely a lot less annoying than she used to be.

August 28th, 2007

Jason threatens to kill Sam if she goes near Elizabeth and Jake again. Carly and Jax fight over their respective infidelities and she announces that she doesnít want to sleep with him for a while in case he caught something from Irina. Trevor tells Ric to drop the charges against Kate or heíll get Alexis full custody of Molly. Sonny tells Kate his side of the Trevor situation, but she still sides with Trevor. He then informs Diane that sheís off Kateís case, which upsets her because it means she doesnít get her designer dress.

Okay, now I want Sam to go near Elizabeth and Jake because it means Jason will have to kill her. Go for it, Sam!

Iím probably supposed to hate Trevor and side with Ric in this situation, but if Trevor is going to figure out a way to get Alexis full custody of Molly, Iím going to have to like him. A lot.

Thank you, Jax, for pointing out the obvious and making Carly have to shut up because youíre COMPLETELY RIGHT. And Iíd totally forgotten that Carly married someone else and slept with him while she was supposed to be engaged to Jax. So shut up, blondie. Also, Iím so sure that in the middle of basically raping Jax, Irina paused to let him put on a condom. Good thing sheís dead (right? RIGHT?) and wonít turn up pregnant.

I love Diane. That is all.

August 29th, 2007

Jason wants to align with Jerry to protect Carly, Michael, and Morgan from Zacchara. Little does he know that Jerry is already aligned with Trevor. Emily thinks Jax should forgive Jerry, noting that she canít really hate him because he helped exonerate Jason. Maxie hides in Loganís closet as he and Lulu prepare to go another round in the sack. Depressed over the news that Lulu has probably slept with Logan, Spinelli fantasizes about Playboy bunnies. Blah blah Carly doesnít trust Jax now blah blah. Nikolas wants to go on vacation with Emily, who canít because of her internship. Ford blasts her for chatting during work hours and Nikolas threatens to have him fired.

I have a new drinking game: drink every time someone says ďAnthony Zacchara.Ē

Iím really ticked that there were Playboy bunnies on today. Is Trump running the show now?

Part of me wonders if Nikolas understands that having a real job means you canít just take a vacation whenever you want. And part of me wants Nikolas to just fire Ford for the heck of so we donít have to put up with him anymore.

Ew, Maxie. You need deep psychological help. (Not that we didnít already know that.)

August 30th, 2007

Logan spots Maxie in the closet and rushes Lulu out of the apartment. Coop catches Maxie spying on Lulu and Logan in the park and calls them out. Maxie later goes to Loganís apartment and they start making out. Jax makes it clear to Jason that he can protect his family himself. Kate is upset to overhear Ric telling Sonny that she was one of Trevorís many mistresses. Ford gives in to Nikolasí demands, but Emily doesnít want to press her luck and take a vacation right now. Carly isnít sure Lulu should trust Logan so much. Jason doesnít like hearing that Logan forced Lulu to kiss him. Ric orders Logan to tell him when Sonny plans to kill Zacchara so he can arrest him. Ric then fills Coop in on his plans.

Amazingly, I have another reason to like Emily - she acted like a professional, then stood up to Nikolas when he was being completely weird. Yay for spines!

Hey, Spinelli? I know it was totally inappropriate for forcing a kiss on Lulu, but...I donít remember her complaining that much. And currently she wouldnít complain at all, so you might want to just let that one go.

Maxie is just a bundle full of psychological problems, isnít she?

What does Kate think she was to Trevor if not a mistress? A woman who sleeps with a married man is, by definition, a mistress. Would she like a fancier word like paramour? Because I can go with that. No problem for me.

August 31st, 2007

Carly warns Logan not to hurt Lulu. Little does she know that Maxie has just blackmailed Logan (by threatening to tell Lulu about their deal) into sleeping with her. Spinelli worries that Jason will have Logan killed. Lulu makes it clear that she wonít be able to forgive Spinelli if Jason hurts Logan. Sonny doesnít see Kate as the person he used to know anymore. Carly and Jax question their future together. Ditto Elizabeth and Lucky, whom Jason catches kissing Sam.

Happy Everyoneís Relationship is Falling Apart Day!

Iím surprised Sonny would even think about touching Kate after knowing that sheís been with Trevor. Though maybe he thinks if something happens between them, heíll be able to stick it to Trevor.

The way Maxie is going, sheís going to end up dead in a gutter someday.

As much as I dislike Elizabeth and the way she treats Lucky, if I were her and he were talking to me the way he does, Iíd immediately stop ironing his clothes. You talk bad to me, you iron your own stuff, buddy.

A step away from divorce: Carly and Jax Jacks, Elizabeth and Lucky Spencer
Back in town: Carly Jacks, Jax Jacks, Jerry Jacks
Cheaters: Maxie Jones and Logan Hayes
Dead (right? RIGHT?): Irina

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