General Hospital blog - August, 2018

August 1st, 2018

Nelle blames Michael for the baby's death, and though he blames her at first, later he tells Sonny that it's his fault. Brad tells Nelle that he's not sure he can keep up the charade, but she warns that he'll get arrested if he tells Lucas the truth, not to mention his husband will leave him. Ava also comes by, partly to give her condolences and partly to find out if Nelle plans to rat her out to the police. Nelle says she'll keep quiet about the blanket because if she says anything about it, she'll have to admit that she lied about Carly pushing her. Jason brings Josslyn to see Carly, who tells her about Michael and Chase's plan, and all of Nelle's schemes. Josslyn feels horrible for believing Nelle over Carly, and for encouraging Michael to get back together with her. Carly doesn't hold any resentment toward her, and the two are back on good terms. Sam hopes to find a way to protect Carly and keep Jason from having to run off to Canada. Chase confides to Lulu that he feels responsible for the baby's death. Sam meets "Wiley," then notices that Brad's acting a little weird. Kiki reiterates to Griffin how important it is to keep Ava from finding out about their fling, since she'll want revenge on both of them.

I hope Jason busts this baby swap, too, then makes a town-wide announcement telling people to stop trying to pull them off.

Sam should go to Kevin, because he needs to help bring down Ferncliff.

Lucas re: Brad: "He's reminded me of why I fell in love with him." Now can you explain it to me?

Shouldn't Chase be out looking for Obrecht or doing paperwork or something else job-related instead of drinking?

August 2nd, 2018

Kim tells Michael and Nelle that the coroner couldn't determine why the baby (Jonah) died, but it had nothing to do with the crash. Nelle blames Michael again, but ten minutes later, she's begging for forgiveness and saying maybe she just needs help to deal with bad thoughts. Michael reveals more of his plan: The marriage certificate was signed with disappearing ink, so their marriage is invalid, and he already has a will that doesn't leave anything to Nelle (so if she'd killed him, she wouldn't have benefited anyway). He tells her he doesn't care about her or what happens to her, then goes to see his family. Nelle manages to flee the hospital, despite the presence of a cop outside her door, but she's not very good at hiding out, because she quickly runs into Josslyn. Sam and Curtis pose as authorities from some mental-health-facility governing body so they can get access to Carly's Ferncliff file. They're able to snag the consent form for her ECT, and Jason can tell that either it was forged or Carly signed it when she was too drugged to know what she was doing. Ava's about to burn the blanket when she runs into Griffin. They talk about consciences and attempts at being good people and blah blah, we get it, they're keeping secrets from each other. Ava feels bad about being nice to Nelle, since she did such horrible things. Griffin assures her that she's not as bad a person as Nelle, since she has a soul. Carly and Josslyn are saddened to hear about Jonah's "death," and Josslyn again beats herself up for letting herself be manipulated. Jason tells her that people will continue to try to scam her throughout her life, so she needs to trust herself and make her own decisions. Chase and Lulu have the filler scenes.

Jonah Corinthos just...doesn't sound right.

Nelle, it wouldn't matter if you'd gotten money from Michael. You can't spend it in prison.

Maybe Chase shouldn't be involved in Nelle's case anymore?

Ahhhhhh! They did use disappearing ink on the marriage certificate! That's awesome!

August 3rd, 2018

Nelle tries to convince Josslyn that Chase is the real bad guy here, but Josslyn isn't a naïve little bunny anymore. Shoves are given, punches are thrown, blood is drawn, and adult language is used, but at least Josslyn is able to keep Nelle from running off before Jordan tracks her down. Nelle tries to argue that she's not responsible for her actions because of her grief, then attempts to blame the PCPD for the baby's death, but Jordan ain't having it. While trying to find out of Nelle had help escaping, Jordan summons Brad to the station, which freaks him out. Of course, Michael's there when Brad and Lucas show up with Jonah. Peter's been cleared for release from the hospital and transfer to prison, but he thinks Robert will see that he's more useful as a free man. Jason was Patient 6, but Peter has information for the WSB on Patients 1 through 5. Robert injects Finn with a tracking chip (yes, Finn, like a dog) so he can track Finn after he lets himself get kidnapped. The abductors tell Finn they needs his medical skills to help a "very special patient." Chase regrets the way things went down, of course, but not as much as Michael regrets ever getting close to Nelle at all. Lulu tells Peter she's not sure she wants to be a journalist anymore, but she's written a final article about the whole saga, which Maxie and Nina approve of. Curtis tells Stella that he heard from Chandra, his ex, and doesn't think the timing is a coincidence. Stella easily admits to contacting her but adds that she changed her mind about meddling and told Chandra not to come visit. Curtis thinks this means Stella's finally coming around on Jordan and wants to be a part of the wedding. Stella isn't quite ready to go that far. Maxie and Nina are ready to move on post-Peter.

"You messed with the wrong family, b$%@#." Thank you, Josslyn "Molly Weasley" Jacks.

Nelle's actually lucky she's going to prison. That makes it harder for Carly to murder her for hurting Joss.

"He's horrendous in bed, by the way." ...Okay, heh. I can't believe Nelle made me laugh.

Jordan goes to Michael for info on Carly and Jason? Right now? Come on.

Let's place bets now: Who's the "very special patient"? (Uh, someone else start the betting. I have no idea.)

Oh, go make this about yourself somewhere else, Lulu.

How did Nina find out about Brad and Lucas getting Wiley before Maxie did? She has no connection to either of them.

August 6th, 2018

Nelle won't admit to lying about her fall, and she thinks her confessions in the car are inadmissible because she they were coerced. Jordan points out that she could only know the car was going to crash because she hired Chase to rig it. In New York, conspiracy to commit murder carries a life sentence, so Nelle's in a lot of trouble even without Florida and Maine weighing in on Zach's death. Carly really doesn't want to leave her kids right now, so she's hopeful that Jason's big plan will fix everything. She confirms that she didn't sign a consent form for ECT, and since it was signed before she was ever drugged, she couldn't have signed it without realizing it. As Jason meets with Margaux, Sonny tells Jordan about the form and tries to find out what might happen if Carly were to turn herself in. Meanwhile, Carly goes to see Nelle, hopefully while carrying some sort of recording device. Michael sweetly welcomes "Wiley" to the family, thinking the baby is his cousin. Brad is barely keeping it together, and Britt would smack him for how badly he's handling all this. Ava gets Julian to stash the blanket in a drawer in the Quartermaines' nursery, since she's apparently had an attack of conscience and wants to help Carly. (Wait, that can't be right.) Sam and Monica offer Michael comfort, having experienced what he's going through. While packing up the nursery, Michael and Sam find the blanket. Margaux wants to talk to Drew about his memories, but he'd rather talk about how Curtis wasn't authorized to play wingman, and Drew doesn't want her to get the wrong idea about any feelings he may or may not for her. She tells him to get over himself, so I'd say it's a safe bet that they'll end up together. Also, Drew made an anonymous donation to the hospital in Jonah's memory, but Monica guesses that he was the donor. Julian takes a bunch of pictures of the baby but hasn't yet figured out that they don't match the pictures he took the day before.

Does Jason wish he'd been there for Nelle and Josslyn's confrontation so he could stop it or so he could witness it? I'm guessing...both.

Brad is definitely different from the person he used to be. He sucks at scheming now.

Can't wait till Griffin finds out Ava took the blanket and she tries to argue that she wanted to protect him.

Margaux: "Didn't he use to be your father-in-law?" Drew: "Once or twice." Glad we're joking about it.

Julian completely ignoring Margaux probably wasn't supposed to be as funny as I found it, and yet...

Of all the people who could have made an anonymous donation in Jonah's memory, Monica's first guess was Drew? (The fact that she was right is irrelevant.)

August 7th, 2018

Carly gloats to Nelle that her family can never be brought down, pointing out that Nelle didn't achieve anything she set in motion. Nelle's like, "You're going to mock me while I'm grieving my son?" and Carly's like, "Hypocrite says what?" While Diane works behind the scenes to help Carly, Jason gets Margaux to agree to reconsider Carly's case. He has to turn himself in at the PCPD as part of the deal, and Carly does the same. Michael shows up with the blanket, and Nelle goes ballistic, helping the Corinthoses prove to Margaux that it's important to the case. Margaux first says she'll recommend that Carly go to Shadybrook, but Chase levels with her: They both got played by Nelle, and she needs to just admit it and fix things. Finally, she agrees to talk to the judge about having Carly's sentence vacated. Nelle is dragged off literally kicking and screaming, saying she hopes Carly burns in Hell. Carly thinks she's won, but of course, she has no idea that Nelle's getting the last laugh by knowing that Jonah's alive and out of Michael's reach. Griffin finally tells Ava he loves her, then decides he needs to tell her he cheated. He tells Kiki he's going to come clean without mentioning her name, but Kiki warns that Ava will make him an enemy, and he'll come to regret the decision. Alexis asks Kiki again if there's anything she needs to know before the trial (specifically about Griffin), and Kiki again says no. Scott urges David to settle instead of going to trial, but David refuses. Scott lets Ava know, trying to warn her without straight-out warning her that some things might come out on the stand that she won't want to hear. Sonny assures Chase that he won't be getting revenge for the baby's death, since there's no way anyone could have predicted that it would happen (plus, Chase's feelings of guilt are punishment enough). Alexis wonders if Sam helped Jason break Carly out of Ferncliff. Sam will not be answering any questions at this time. Then they talk about Kristina, to remind that audience that she exists before she returns.

How did no one hear Carly and Nelle yelling and tossing around chairs in the interrogation room?

I love Carly's argument that, yeah, she did horrible stuff, but at least she accomplished her goals.

Chase! You hero, you! Michael should make him Jonah's godfather.

Jason's "say WHAT?" face when Margaux said she'd talk to the judge cracked me up.

If Griffin didn't realize until he was with Ava that doing something bad doesn't make you a bad person, he didn't pay enough attention in seminary.

Knowing the Griffin/Kiki fling will inevitably come out and harm Kiki makes watching this plot like watching a slow-motion car crash.

August 8th, 2018

Finn refuses to do anything for the "very special patient" until he knows Anna's okay. Their captors have been taking very good care of her, though she pretends she's sick so they underestimate her (and don't find the scalpel she's pocketed). Finn tells her that Robert's on the way to rescue them, but Anna doesn't want to be rescued – she's piecing together the captors' plan and wants to stick around until she knows what it is. She cuts out Finn's tracking chip and smashes it, to Robert's dismay. For no apparent reason, Robert isn't taking Peter to prison, though he reserves the right to reinstate the charges against him at any time. Margaux offers Peter freedom in exchange for the flash drive, trying to make a case that he could be guilty of identity fraud for taking Drew's memories. Of course, Peter doesn't have the flash drive, and of course, Margaux knows that, so the deal could never be struck. Drew listens in, then tells Margaux he doesn't want to press charges against Peter and is ready to move on with his life. So Peter's free, but the only thing he has to his name is Faison's lighter, since the WSB has seized everything else. Also, he's staying in Port Charles, but no one actually likes him, so that seems like a bad idea. I know it's surprising, but Kiki's nervous about the trial. She's very grateful for Ava's support, but not grateful enough to confess any betrayals she may have committed. Scott asks Franco what he would hypothetically do if he knew that his hypothetical friend's hypothetical daughter had hooked up with her hypothetical doctor/ex-priest boyfriend. Franco first suggests that Scott not put Griffin on the stand, but Scott knows David would never let him get away with that. Franco then volunteers to tell Alexis about the fling so she's not blindsided. Maxie continues being a good wingwoman for Nina when it comes to keeping Valentin at a distance. Julian manages to find a way to make Kiki's trial about him and Alexis. Elizabeth wants to take Cam and Oscar to the trial, but Franco objects. I don't know why he gets a vote, since Elizabeth and Kim – the boys' actual parents – are fine with it, but whatever.

Margaux and I finally agree on something – it's completely ridiculous that Robert is letting Peter go.

Kiki dressing conservatively for court means she's surrendering? Hush, Ava.

LOL at Julian going to court to support Kiki. How many times in her life has he spoken to her? It can't be more than five, and I'm counting their seven-second exchange today.

When Maxie told Valentin that Nina loves children, I imagined him plotting to adopt every orphan in the world to try to win her affection.

August 9th, 2018

The trial begins before Franco can tell Alexis about Griffin and Kiki's fling, but for most of the proceedings, it's not relevant to the case. Kiki's testimony is moving, and Scott chooses not to cross-examine her, telling David that they don't want the jury to become more sympathetic toward her. He tries to stay laid back, but when David threatens to fire him and reveal the picture of Kiki and Griffin hugging, Scott has to start playing hardball. During a brief recess, Franco is still unable to talk to Alexis, but he does let Griffin know that he's aware of the fling. Alexis dismisses the picture as nothing important to the case, then calls Griffin to the stand. Scott texts Franco with an order to warn Alexis ASAP. Franco tries but accidentally sends a text to Ava telling her that Kiki and Griffin slept together. Carly gets, like, half an hour to relax before she's tossed right back into family drama. Mike is feeling less and less like himself, and Stella encourages Sonny and Carly to talk to him about going to a care facility while he's still able to help make decisions. Jordan sees that Chandra left a message on Curtis' phone and questions why they're suddenly back in touch. She easily figures out that Stella was involved and confronts her, but Stella repeats what she said to Curtis – though she contacted Chandra, she also told her that Curtis is getting married, so she's not technically trying to interfere.

Well, I definitely didn't have money on Franco screwing everything up!

Alexis' case was surprisingly weak, but if I were on the jury, I would have believed Kiki's testimony. Her emotions felt genuine. I wish she'd mentioned how David cornered her at the ball, though. Maybe Griffin will bring it up.

Hey, Scott? Don't ever interrupt Epiphany again, unless you want to lose a limb.

Someone on Twitter made the great observation that Carly basically saw her night in lockup with Jason as a slumber party.

I cannot and will not do another storyline about Jordan's jealousy. I refuse.

August 10th, 2018

Franco scrambles to take back his missent text, but it's too late. He gets kicked out of the courtroom, so he pulls the fire alarm to delay Griffin's questioning. That's only a temporary fix, and since Ava knows the truth, the damage is done. Griffin manages to skirt having to admit that he and Kiki slept together, and Scott thinks he's about to get him off the stand without anything coming out. Then Ava decides it's time for a scorched-earth strategy and pretty much forces him to ask Griffin straight out if he and Kiki have ever had sex. Chase asks Jason if he wants justice for everything Peter did, and wonders why he doesn't seem upset that the WSB let him go. Jason: (Stone Cold face). Chase apologizes for the events leading to the baby's death, but Jason doesn't blame him. Margaux then spends a half hour going over Jason's past crimes with him, as if she thinks he'll just come right out and admit to something. Jason: (Stone Cold face for half an hour). Ultimately, with no surveillance footage from Ferncliff and no witnesses who weren't involved in an unauthorized medical procedure and who therefore can't be trusted, Margaux decides to drop the charges against Jason. She warns that she'll get him for something sooner or later, then asks how he and Drew can be so different. Jason sees this as a significant comment and passes it along to Drew. Kevin thinks Carly should continue therapy with him, but Carly wants to forget all about her time at Ferncliff. She mentions that when she was drugged, she hallucinated walking by the mystery patient but thought he was Kevin. Kevin tries to pretend this isn't strange, then goes to see the mystery patient...who looks just like him. I can't say for sure who's who, but I think it's safe to say that Ryan Chamberlain is back. Cam is a little thief now, and when Josslyn calls him on it, he points out that she's also shoplifted. She admits that she's done it a little but has stopped. It's too late for Cam, though, since surveillance footage from the store where he shoplifted has made it to the PCPD, and Chase has enough to bring him in for questioning. Elizabeth is already at the police station with Franco, who faces a fine and possible jail time for pulling the fire alarm, plus more trouble if he gets busted for obstruction of justice for his part in Ava's scheme with Scott. Carly echoes Stella's recommendation that Sonny talk to Mike about a care facility while he's still able to grasp his situation. Sonny tests the waters, but when Mike gets annoyed, he quickly backs off. Oscar worries that he's being too clingy with Josslyn. Drew thinks he's doing everything right and shouldn't take it personally if Josslyn wants to isolate herself a little in the midst of various family crises. Unless I'm imagining things, Oscar can sense that Margaux likes Drew, and he's not happy about it.

Franco attempting to undo his mistake with "JK" cracked me up.

Emme Rylan and William DeVry have the fun jobs right now – a tiny amount of lines to learn and a front-row seat to drama.

I should have made an official guess weeks ago that the mystery Ferncliff patient is Ryan. It was hard to see his face when Carly saw him while she was drugged, and I thought they'd just used Kevin for the scene to drive home how muddled her thoughts were, but I did have some suspicions. Of course, the question is: Is Ryan the patient, or is that the real Kevin?

Aw, Cam. He was always such a sweet kid. I'm going to blame Franco as a bad influence.

August 13th, 2018

Griffin opts to tell the truth on the stand and face Ava's wrath rather than perjure himself. Alexis works hard to spin the fling so it comes off as irrelevant to David's harassment. Scott puts David on the stand, where he pretends that Kiki indicated she was interested in him, so his behavior wasn't harassment. Alexis brings up the fact that he berated her for her performance, then gave her a stellar review. She also uses David's photo of Kiki and Griffin hugging to make David look vindictive, because why would he need ammo if he didn't anticipate a lawsuit? Ava slaps Griffin a couple times, then screams at him a bunch for his betrayal and his need to rescue damsels in distress. She accuses him of just getting together with her for sex, as a vacation from his morality. Griffin pleads for forgiveness, but Ava warns that revenge will be coming his way instead. Robert enlists Jason to help him pick up Anna and Finn's trail. They find the tracker Anna removed from Finn but think that their captors took it out to keep them hidden. Jason suggests that Finn, not Anna, was the abductors' target; they took Anna for bait and really want something from Finn. Robert isn't sure, believing that they'll use threats against Finn to keep Anna in line. Once Jason finds one of Anna's pills, Robert decides he's right – the captors want Anna alive so they can keep Finn in line while he does something medical. Anna and Finn are now in Canada, at some sort of medical facility. She's not happy that Robert got Finn involved in her abduction, like, worry about that later and focus on why you're there now. Their captors finally give them some information, confirming Robert's theory: They need Finn to wake the mystery patient from a coma. P.S. The patient is Cassandra. Oscar thinks Cameron's a bad influence, but an annoyed Josslyn tells him she's actually the bad influence, since she shoplifted before Cam did. She tells Oscar he shouldn't be jealous of their friendship, but she appreciates that Cam has gone through family drama and understands hers. They bicker a little but make up. Elizabeth comes down hard on Cam, who seems surprised that he's in trouble for stealing. He also plays the "you're not my father" card with Franco and the "you're ruining my life" card with Elizabeth, which just makes him look worse.

Way to wait until Griffin had admitted to the fling before you objected, Alexis.

On the plus side, if Kiki and Griffin ever want to hook up again, they're now free to do so.

Griffin's a better person than I am (well, in some ways) because I would have had a very hard time not throwing Ava's history with Morgan in her face.

David getting burned by his own insurance photo would be so poetic and satisfying.

I actually feel bad for Elizabeth and Scott, which means I also feel dirty.

August 14th, 2018

Alexis uses her final arguments to remind the jury that Kiki's sex life is completely separate from David's harassment. Scott uses his to simply say that Alexis hasn't proven that David did anything. When David gets annoyed, Scott says he doesn't believe he's innocent. The jury doesn't either, awarding Kiki $250,000 in damages. David wants to appeal, but Alexis doubts he'll get very far. Franco apologizes to Ava for ruining her life, or whatever, but loses sympathy for her when he finds out she might have tanked Kiki's case. Elizabeth tries to reassure Griffin that his fling with Kiki won't harm his career or reputation. She's probably wrong, since Ava's revenge involves telling Monica that Griffin did Peter's paternity test behind his back. Anna and Finn's captors have nabbed Cassandra from WSB custody, but Anna isn't sure why they want her conscious, unless it has to do with her hidden assets. The captors have a boss calling the shots, but all Anna can find out about him is that it's a him. Finn can't bring himself not to try to revive Cassandra, though he plans to withhold any protocol that will keep her conscious until after he and Anna are safely back home. Robert thinks Valentin is involved with Anna and Finn's disappearance, but Valentin is surprised to hear that the WSB lost Cassandra. He gives some good reasons for not wanting her awake, without letting on that Nina has anything to do with it. Michael is throwing himself into work to distract himself from his grief. Monica offers to give Jonah a spot in the Quartermaine mausoleum, but Michael wants him buried next to Morgan. Carly and Monica make peace in the wake of Nelle's damage, and Carly encourages Michael to let both of his families help him out.

Looks like Kiki has med-school tuition all covered now.

If David wants to appeal, he should find a lawyer who can come up with a good reason for Kiki to sue him, since he allegedly didn't do anything to her.

Me to Ava 100 times during this episode: "You slept with Morgan, so shut it."

Only Ava would complain about her boyfriend trying to help her become a better person.

Doesn't Ava's revenge only work if Peter backs her up that Griffin did the paternity test without his consent? I can't see Peter doing that.

August 15th, 2018

Kiki goes to Ava's to get everything out, and the two yell at each other for most of the episode. Ava thinks Kiki slept with Griffin as revenge for her affair with Morgan. Kiki says Ava can't handle the fact that Morgan and Griffin both wanted her. She admits that she made a mistake, but Ava's much worse because she's a cold, vengeful person who was more interested in getting revenge than making David pay. The two declare that they're cutting ties with each other, but we've heard that before. Griffin gets suspended for running Peter's paternity test, and it's not clear if he knows who ratted him out. Franco wants to punch him for...I don't know, corrupting Kiki, or something. She tells him she was a willing participant and made her own decisions. Kristina comes back to town to spend time with her family, making Sonny very happy. Alexis is tentative in their reunion, but Kristina is ready to move on from their clashes. She claims her life in Oregon is great and she's very happy, and everyone believes her except Sam. Mike hears Carly and Sonny talking about sending him to a care facility but doesn't say anything. Sonny also doesn't say any more on the subject, since the last conversation about it didn't go anywhere. Carly takes Mike to Charlie's, where he chats with Julian and Kim. Kim stops Julian from digging too much into Mike's past, guessing that he's looking for something to use against Sonny. Julian claims that he just wants to know the pub's history before Mike forgets it. Elizabeth tells Carly that Josslyn was with Cam when he got busted for shoplifting, so she might want to pay more attention to her daughter now that she's home. Carly takes offense, but when Mike finds some clothes stashed in his closet, Carly realizes that Cam isn't the only little thief.

Well, I didn't expect Ava to be the first person to mention her affair with Morgan.

Don't worry, Kiki. Sam and Carly slept with their moms' husbands, and everything's good between them now.

So I guess Ava's a super-villain now?

DAVIS WOMEN! That is all.

If Kristina's coming back to stay, it'll be without Parker – Ashley Jones is on another soap now.

Kim to Julian: "I'm choosing to believe you." Yeah, that's never backfired for anyone before.

August 16th, 2018

When Carly confronts her, Josslyn admits to shoplifting and expresses regret. She's mad at herself for believing all of Nelle's lies about her mother when Carly never would have done the same in that situation. Carly understands why Josslyn acted out, comes up with a way for Josslyn to work off her debt, and is generally reassuring and compassionate. Sonny reacts pretty much the same way, wishing Josslyn had felt like she could come to him with her problems. After stalling by making Sam talk about her life first, Kristina says that everything is fine in Oregon, but she feels like she's drifting. Stella encourages Michael to address his grief and seek out support specifically for parents who have lost children. Kristina comes by and tries to reassure her brother that he wasn't to blame for Jonah's death. Michael emotionally tells her how much it hurts that the one and only time he met his son, he was already dead. Margaux tries to buddy up to Julian and get dirt on Sonny, but Kim shuts that down. (Kim's shutting down a lot of things this week.) She tells Julian straight out that if he goes back to his criminal ways, she'll walk away from him. Sam thinks Margaux's desire to take down Sonny goes beyond just her job. Elizabeth tells Terry about her struggles with Cam, and Terry can't help but laugh, since he's just like Elizabeth was as a teen. Jordan tells Curtis she doesn't want Stella coming to the wedding. Stella overhears and tells Curtis to make a final ruling. Sonny and Jason have found a way to stall Julian's construction plans, but they know they're not in the clear.

If Michael still believes the accident caused Jonah's death, Obrecht is really the one he should blame.

I wonder if it's significant that we don't know the name of the person whose body is under Charlie's. Or does that just indicate that the body isn't the important part of the plot; the crime being covered up is? Since Sam noted that Margaux seems to have a personal vendetta against Sonny, I'll guess that the person was related to her.

Raise your hand if you care even the slightest bit if Kim and Margaux have met before. Yeah, same.

Okay, "six degrees of Corinthos" was good. I will allow you one cool point for that, Margaux.

Laughing isn't really the best reaction to finding out your friend's son was busted for shoplifting, but I like Terry and dislike Elizabeth, so I'll let it go.

I enjoyed the 30-second scene of Sam and Jason talking about Danny wanting to smuggle a pig off a farm, and how Jason would make it live at Sam's.

August 17th, 2018

Bobbie tries to call off a surprise "welcome to the family, Wiley" party, thinking Brad and Lucas want to keep things low-key until the adoption has been finalized. The rest of the family goes ahead with it, wanting to proceed like everything's going to work out. Mike notices the baby's resemblance to Carly, and when he sees Michael holding him, he thinks Michael is the baby's father. Julian thinks "Wiley" looks different than he did the night Brad first saw him, and Brad has to scramble to keep him from showing pictures. I guess someone jinxed things, because the birth mother decides she wants her son back. Maxie and Nina visit Madeline, allowing her to see pictures of James. Nina could benefit from some therapy, as she can't stop slamming her mother for putting her in a coma and causing her to lose her baby. Madeline emotionally claims that those actions are her biggest regrets (sorry, Silas) and she sincerely hopes that Nina is now happy with her life. Just as Nina and Maxie have started believing that Madeline has become a better person, she asks them to testify on her behalf so she can get parole, and they realize her true intentions for asking them to visit. Peter wants help from Valentin to rebuild his life, since Valentin was the one who fated him to a hard life in the first place. Valentin gets him a job running the Invader, Port Charles' premier tabloid, in exchange for a promise that Peter will stay away from Nina. Valentin also thinks his new idea to win Nina back will be successful, and it has something to do with Madeline. Margaux tells Drew her plan to use his memories to bring down Jason, in hopes of then taking down Sonny and ridding the town of organized crime. Drew refuses to help (not that he thinks her strategy would work in court anyway) and points out that her odds of getting Jason to turn on Sonny are extremely tiny. He wants her to leave him alone, but she kisses him, trying to prove that he doesn't dislike her as much as he lets on. Julian figures out that Sonny's trying to mess with his expansion plans.

Having Sonny and Mike at the party but not Carly was so dumb.

Nice little detail having Sam go to the kitchen with Mike to make sure the man with Alzheimer's was using the oven safely.

Madeline murdered someone, has been in prison three years, and thinks she'll get paroled? Huh?

The multiple mentions of Nina's baby made me nervous even before the preview scene with Valentin asking Madeline if she had a daughter. But if the longtime speculation that Kiki's really Nina's is true, the timing works out great for Kiki.

Freaking A, Valentin. Get some security.

Drew makes an excellent point: No judge would allow his testimony about Jason's crimes just because Margaux claims they have the same memories.

August 20th, 2018

Valentin offers to get Nora to represent Madeline at her parole hearing if Madeline will give him details about Nina's time in her coma. He's figured out that she didn't lose her baby after all, and gets Madeline to admit that Nina had a girl who was then illegally given to adoptive parents. Valentin withdraws his offer when Madeline withholds any more information, deciding he can find the daughter on his own. Brad and Lucas get to keep taking care of "Wiley" until there's a court hearing to decide whether the birth mother should get him back. Alexis tries to stay positive, but she warns that the odds aren't in the guys' favor. As Sam tries to comfort Lucas, Brad takes off, ending up at Charlie's, where he confesses to Julian that the baby isn't Wiley. Lucas finds him before he can give any further details. Peter tries to poach Maxie, and when that doesn't work, he turns to Lulu. He wants to turn the Invader into a Pulitzer-worthy newspaper, though he also wants his first big story to be about Margaux and Drew kissing. Lulu resists, and for some reason doesn't tell him he's a horrible person she would never, ever work for. Nina tells Maxie that if Brad and Lucas lose "Wiley," they'll always grieve for him – she's still grieving for her baby after 20+ years. Maxie feels awful that she was never able to work through her emotions about her loss. Drew is apparently interested in Margaux, or at least willing to see what happens between them, as long as she doesn't talk about Jason or Sonny anymore. However, he also asks Curtis to run a background check on her. Sonny tells Carly about the body at Charlie's and his uncertainty over whether it can be tied to him. Chase handles his regrets by wallowing and drinking, while Michael handles them by avoiding his family.

Madeline to Valentin: "Stop being so melodramatic." Me: "Haha, never!"

I would tell Lulu not to make any stupid decisions, but I have a feeling she's going to, and it would be a waste of my time.

Peter: "I want to run a respectable publication." Also Peter: "I'm putting a picture of Margaux and Drew kissing on the front page."

Someone please find a way to make Margaux shut up.

Regardless of whether the body at Charlie's can be tied to Sonny in a way that would stand up in court, Julian would figure out the connection immediately. Sonny needs to keep that in mind.

August 21st, 2018

Everyone's sad about "Jonah"'s funeral, so that's fun. Michael goes to the cemetery alone for the burial and asks Morgan to look after the baby. Brad tells Julian that Jonah is really Wiley, and he swapped Wiley for another baby without telling Lucas. However, he leaves Nelle out of it and says a homeless woman begged him to take her child. He thinks if the truth comes out, he and Lucas will both be arrested. Julian never met a chance to win Lucas' affections that he didn't like, so he goes to Alexis in hopes of finding a way to give Lucas and Brad an advantage in the custody case. There isn't one, so Julian follows Alexis to a meeting with Diane (apparently the birth mother's lawyer, which was never mentioned before) to eavesdrop. Curtis' background check on Margaux turns up a little information (her maiden name was Marino, her father's been gone for a long time, she did great in law school and could have gotten a job anywhere) but nothing that helps Drew figure out her game. He admits to Curtis that he's not vetting Margaux before dating her – he's going to date her so he can vet her. The day brings up bad memories for Sam, but she's grateful for Jason. Okay, Kristina, just admit you're not happy and move back to town already. Josslyn apologizes to Oscar for her shoplifting-related behavior.

Yeah, Brad, adding another lie to this will definitely make things better.

Julian, ask yourself the odds of Wiley and Jonah, born within a day of each other, dying the same night. Just ask yourself that.

I hope Chase is the one who eventually figures out the baby swap. He deserves a win and the chance to give Michael good news.

Margaux's maiden name was Marino? Yeah, mob. That's totally her father's body at Charlie's.

Hi, Drew. Meeting with Curtis about Margaux is not an acceptable excuse for missing your nephew's "son"'s funeral.

Thank you, Kristina "I Know We're at a Funeral Reception But I'm Going to Play Matchmaker Anyway" Davis.

August 22nd, 2018

Julian takes pictures of the birth mother's file, complains to Kim about her desire to take the baby back, and calls her. For some reason, Brad thinks Julian can make everything better. Alexis warns him and Lucas that Diane's job is to paint her client as a better parent than them, which means she can use anything she wants from their pasts against them. (Sucks to be Brad!) Valentin's 30 days to win Nina back (which were actually more like two months, but whatever) are up, and with Maxie's urging, Nina sticks to her decision to get divorced. Diane thinks that she would be justified in holding off, since she obviously still loves Valentin, but Nina knows she can never trust him again, so she signs. Maxie mocks Valentin for losing her, and he tells her he's fine with her being mad at him because of Peter, but she needs to leave Nina out of it. He then hires Curtis to find Nina's daughter. Curtis thinks Drew should stop focusing on Margaux's past and just go out with her. The picture of them kissing is now public, and Margaux tells Peter he's a jerk for publishing it, but Drew just brushes it off and tries to get to know her better. Michael isn't sure how to grieve for someone he didn't actually know. He hesitates to compare his grief to Sonny's for Morgan, since they actually have memories of Morgan, but Sonny says it's no less difficult. Lulu tells Peter she won't work for him, but when Drew won't help her get better stories at the Press, she changes her mind. Maxie starts a conversation with Peter, then acts like she doesn't want to talk to him, so I don't get what the writers were going for there.

Too bad we didn't get to see Diane catch Julian snooping around and yell at him until he begged for mercy.

Brad, trusting Julian to fix things was your...well, not your first mistake. Not even close.

Maxie, Valentin has to use Charlotte for emotional blackmail because he has no other attractive qualities.

Diane, where was your "don't rush a divorce" speech every time Sam got divorced over the past three years?

Curtis, I'm going to need you to stop shipping Drew and Margaux.

Finding her own stories is too hard, so Lulu's going to work for a guy she hates. Girl, what is wrong with you?

August 23rd, 2018

It's Kevin's (and Ryan's) birthday, and Lucy thinks whichever one of them is walking around free is acting kind of weird. Carly's grateful to him for his kindness and help, and feels bad for her mystery neighbor, even though Ferncliff's staff has allegedly been replaced. Whichever twin is a patient there tells an orderly that his brother is dangerous, but it's still not clear who's who. Finn pretends that Cassandra has something contagious and sends their captors to get medication. He then easily revives her, and he and Anna present her with a deal she's really in no position to turn down: If she doesn't help them figure out who's behind their abductions, they'll let her lapse back into a coma and stay with the captors. Chase wants to help out with the Anna/Finn case, so Jordan makes him a WSB liaison. Robert objects, since Chase is young and green and isn't familiar with the case, and probably also because Chase doesn't show him the proper respect or admiration. Franco is tasked with taking Elizabeth's kids shopping for back-to-school supplies, but ends up mediating a dispute between Cam and Aiden over Aiden's love of girly things. Franco tells Cam to stop being a bully, but Cam doesn't see the point in listening to a serial killer. David acts like a cranky child around Kiki, then gets fired, which gives Kiki and Elizabeth something to be happy about. He vows to sue for wrongful termination and defamation of character. (Kiki isn't worried.) Carly warns Jason that Julian could discover Sonny's decades-old crime and rat him out. Jason isn't concerned, which is dumb.

Kevin or Ryan: "There is a very dangerous man loose in Port Charles!" Me: "You're going to have to be more specific."

You get Chase or you get no one, Robert. There are no other cops left.

I was just about to ask if Cameron had any redeeming qualities, and then he threw Franco's crimes in his face, so...yes. Yes, he does.

Why did David pay Kiki if he's going to appeal?

So this morning Carly went to her grandson's funeral, and now she's playing pool in the bar where they held the reception. Yeah, okay.

August 24th, 2018

Cassandra reluctantly agrees to go along with Anna and Finn's plan, so she pretends she's still comatose while Finn "cures" their captors, knocking them out. Anna and Finn head off to find a path to freedom, running into Robert and Chase, who have tracked them down through Finn's prescription ID and the captors' license plate. By the time the four get back to Cassandra, she's gone, now with a new captor who wears a Cassadine ring. Felix thinks that, due to how well Mike's doing at home and the security measures Sonny's put at place, he might be able to hold off on going to a care facility for a while. Then Mike gets confused in the seemingly empty house and hits a panic button, leading to Sonny, Jason, and a guard all bursting in with guns. Carly and Jason see Margaux and Drew together and guess that she's trying to use him to get dirt on Sonny. Jason brings up the subject with Drew but leaves the conversation sure that Drew knows what Margaux's up to, he knows what he's doing, and he can handle himself. Drew won't talk about Jason and Sonny, and Margaux won't talk about herself, so their time together isn't very interesting. When Margaux won't shut up about his memories, Drew squirts her with sauce, then takes her home to get changed. He snoops through her things and finds the flash drive. Griffin runs into Ava while she's with Julian and Leo, and confronts her for ratting him out to Monica. She easily admits that she did it, not because she thought Peter's confidentiality was breached but because she wanted revenge. Leo falls out of a tree, and Julian has to put his animosity toward Griffin aside to ask for his medical attention. Once Griffin determines that Leo's okay, Ava teases Julian for being so worried, asking if he needs a security blanket. Leo responds by mentioning the blanket he saw Julian put in Jonah's nursery. Julian comes up with a cover, but Griffin doesn't fall for it, putting the pieces together.

Can we have a spin-off where Robert and Chase solve crimes together? Finn and Anna can pop in for comic relief.

Before you state with certainty that Cassandra must be with Valentin, keep in mind that Victor's body never turned up, and Thaao Penghlis is no longer on Days of Our Lives.

Writers, don't have Carly slam Margaux for using sex and bring up #MeToo five minutes after calling her a bitch.

LEO! Way to bust your dad! Your mom would be so proud.

Griffin, who has no children (...that he knows of), is a better parent than both Ava and Julian. Though I'll admit that what Julian said to Leo about Jonah was nice.

August 27th, 2018

Ava argues that she had to keep the blanket from the police because Nelle was blackmailing her over the paternity test. Basically, she chose to protect Griffin over helping Carly. Griffin tells her that, while she thinks he was dating her to take a vacation from morality, she was dating him to test-drive having a soul. He tells her he'll keep quiet about the blanket as long as she doesn't hurt anyone else – in other words, he's blackmailing her into behaving herself. Margaux is super-annoying in her attempts to get Drew to give back the flash drive, but it turns out it's not the one with his memories anyway. She tells him how much of a jerk he is, and he tells her he's having trouble trusting people because of what's happened to him. Then they kiss, which...I don't know. Curtis takes Jordan and Stella to family counseling with Miranda Bailey Francine Massey, which just means they yell at each other for an hour. Stella, of course, brings up Jordan's role in Thomas' death, then points out how much she's sacrificed for her family, giving up her own life to raise Thomas and Curtis. Jordan thinks she's actually mad because she doesn't have a life of her own. Curtis is pretty desperate to get the two of them to get along, but Stella's so stubborn that she may not come back for another counseling session. Kristina's reluctant to go back to Portland and knows that Parker won't relocate someplace where she can build her own life. She admits to Sam that their love for each other might not be enough to keep them together. However, she doesn't want to end the relationship Alexis told her would never work out. Sam promises that no one will see her as a failure and urges her to figure out who she is before she gets into another relationship. Kristina ultimately decides to move back to Port Charles, and Sam invites herself along to Portland to help her get her things (and make sure she doesn't change her mind). Sonny realizes that his arrangements for Mike might not be working out as well as he'd thought.

Ava kept Kiki's paternity (and possibly her maternity) a secret for more than 20 years, so no, Griffin, she doesn't ever get tired of lying.

Griffin, how, exactly, did your relationship with Ava change you for the better?

Whatever, I'm still not convinced that Thomas is really dead.

Leaving what happened to Mike aside, maybe people should stop pulling out loaded guns in a house where a preschooler lives.

August 28th, 2018

Lulu warns Felicia and Maxie that Peter wants to do a story on the 25th anniversary of all the havoc Ryan wreaked in town. Felicia doesn't want to revisit any of it, though we do get to see some flashbacks. As the three discuss Kevin's desire to rehabilitate Ryan, present-day Kevin (AKA free twin) tells Ryan (AKA captive twin) that he still has that goal. He thinks if Ryan addresses the childhood abuse that made him a murderer, he'll be redeemed. Ryan suggests that Kevin release him to see if his treatment has taken hold. Kevin, of course, says no, but Ryan's straight jacket isn't fastened securely, so he knocks out his twin and makes a move to release himself from Ferncliff. Julian tells Brad that he met with the birth mother and may have convinced her not to fight the adoption. Brad thinks the only way to ensure that he and Lucas keep "Wiley" is to run away with him. Lucas knows something's going on, and he admits that he's thought about running away, but he knows that's a bad idea. When Diane shows up for the hearing, alone, Alexis is confused. Oscar tells Jason about the trouble he's had trying to be there for Josslyn recently. Since Josslyn and Carly are so similar, Jason has lots of experience there and advises his nephew to be a good listener but not offer advice unless it's requested. As Oscar's leaving, he suddenly collapses and appears to have a seizure. Valentin gives Curtis the name of the attorney who handled Nina's daughter's adoption, and Curtis agrees to visit the guy (who's now in prison). Nina sees them together and isn't happy that her ex has hired her friend for something neither of them will talk about. She's also not happy that Valentin is holding up the divorce to add two pieces to their agreement, giving her a horse and allowing her visitation with Charlotte. Then she's even less happy when she gets a call from Pentonville telling her that Madeline has died. Kim tells Michael she heard from Nelle, who asked her to testify that hormones made her commit her crimes. (No word on whether those hormones also made her kill Zack.) Michael warns her not to let Nelle snow her into believing she has any redeeming qualities. Like Stella, Kim suggests that Michael visit a therapy group for bereaved parents. He almost goes in but changes his mind. Sonny and Carly tour some care facilities for Mike, but Sonny's not quite ready to give up all the time he's finally getting to spend with his father.

Hey, Peter, doing a story about Felicia really isn't the way to get back on Maxie's good side.

Thanks, show, for reminding us how ridiculous Mac's hair was in the '90s.

Me around the 30-minute mark: "How many episodes until Ryan manages to trade places with Kevin?" Me about 30 minutes later: "Never mind."

Hold up. Nina thinks she's irrational for leaving her lying snake of a husband? WHAT?

So we're all in agreement that Madeline faked her death so she can escape Pentonville, yeah?

Wish I could take a day off work with no notice after spending the whole summer away, like Carly.

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