General Hospital blog - December, 2009

December 1st, 2009

Jason confronts Maxie with the photo and she tells him about Franco thinking he's an artist. Later he shows the photo to Sam and they decide to go to the gallery and pretend they want to buy one of Franco's pieces so they can get in touch with him. Someone working at the gallery recognizes Jason and says they've been expecting him. Spinelli comes across the photo (in an envelope) and Maxie freaks out, thinking he's seen it. Lucky tells Nikolas he's thinking of breaking off the engagement because he's not sure it's what Elizabeth wants. Elizabeth confides in Robin (who Nikolas apparently told about the affair) about everything, then tells Nikolas that really, seriously, they can't be together. Sonny asks Dante to kill Tony Bianco, a Zacchara associate who apparently helped Limbo plan the ambush. Dante tells him he's up for it, but Sonny decides he's too important to risk and assigns the task to Johnny instead. Dante wonders if he's putting Johnny in danger so he can have Olivia. Maxie asks Lucky to help her find Franco so she can destroy the photos. Jax wants to make sure Olivia won't spill any beans and jeopardize Dante's chances of busting Sonny. She finally gets that he wants to come away from everything clean even if everyone else involved gets hurt. Matt wants Lisa to stay in town.

Dear Franco, please add Elizabeth and Jax to your list of people to kill. Or at least find a way to render them both mute.

Okay, Maxie, give me one good reason why Lucky should help you out.

Was I asleep when Nikolas told Robin about his affair with Elizabeth? Because I honestly don't remember it.

If Jax doesn't want Olivia to ruin anything for Dante, maybe he shouldn't have told her that Dante has a recording of Sonny confessing to Claudia's murder. Especially since THAT ISN'T EVEN CLOSE TO THE TRUTH. See, this is part of the reason I want him to shut up.

December 2nd, 2009

Coleman holds another karaoke night, leading to lots of drunken revelry. Diane sings "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" to Max, Alexis and Mac sing "Dancing in the Streets," and Luke and Ethan sing "Stray Cat Strut." Jason receives a painting from Franco that seems to feature a mausoleum and a list of the seven deadly sins. Maxie doesn't want Spinelli to track down Franco. Dante's recording isn't enough to get Sonny busted, so he's mad. Kiefer catches Kristina flirting with Ethan and blasts her. Carly overhears and tells Sonny to spend more time with his daughter so she knows he cares about her. Olivia tells Johnny about kissing Sonny and assures him that she doesn't want to be with him. Johnny tries to get her to go away but ultimately doesn't mind too much when she doesn't leave and things turn towards the clothes-removing type of action. Franco shoots paintballs at pictures of Jason, Spinelli, et al.

I'm sure we'll now be seeing a bunch of Internet threads dedicated to deciphering Franco's painting.

Apparently Olivia's going to make up for all her lies by becoming super-honest.

Aren't there any singers on the show?

Interesting that in two Dante scenes, there was clearly "CO77X" graffiti behind him and he never noticed it. Nice set detail.

December 3rd, 2009

Maxie tries to distract Spinelli from the Franco situation by talking about redecorating the penthouse, until Jason yells at her to leave because they're busy. Spinelli's mad about the yelling but Maxie doesn't really care since it's just another distraction. Dante tells Jax that the evidence against Sonny was insufficient, so Jax decides to call in a favor and get Sonny arrested anyway. Dante tells him to be patient or nothing will work out. Jax vaguely answers Lucky's questions about the night Claudia "disappeared," saying that he thinks Sonny went off to kill her. Later Jax gives the news about the no-go on the arrest to Olivia, who thinks it's time to tell Sonny and Dante about their relationship so Dante will have to remove himself from the investigation. Dante wants to know exactly what happened in the cabin, telling Sonny it's because he needs the information in order to track down the photo's owner, but Sonny sees through him. Olivia admits to Johnny that she still has feelings for Sonny but assures him that she won't act on them. Kate thinks Sonny has feelings for Olivia as well, and that if he told her about them, Olivia would want him back. Lucky decides that it's time to break off his engagement to Elizabeth, who has just told Robin that she's going to be like Maxie and pretend her affair with Nikolas never happened. Rebecca wants to make things work with Nikolas, and apparently taking her clothes off is the way to do that.

So let's get this straight: Elizabeth wants to be with Lucky but not marry him, and she wants to pretend that she never slept with someone else. Congratulations, Elizabeth – you are Maxie. Also, are we supposed to feel sorry for her because of her issues with sex, which we've never heard about before now despite the fact that she was raped more than ten years ago? All this is to say, shut up, Elizabeth.

I really wanted Jax to lie to Lucky's face so eventually he can be arrested for lying to a cop. Because I hate him that much.

For all the secrets she's keeping, Olivia sometimes tells the truth a lot more than she needs to.

Someone get Rebecca off of my TV. Now.

December 4th, 2009

Elizabeth begs Lucky not to break off the engagement, claiming that all she wants is to be his wife, but he doesn't budge. She then goes to Wyndemere to tell Nikolas what happened, still determined to change Lucky's mind. Nikolas points out that she could have told him over the phone, but since she came in person, she's obviously not trying too hard to avoid him. Rebecca returns after being rejected by Nikolas and catches the two of them half-naked. Jax fights a bunch with Olivia over whether or not she should tell Sonny and Dante they're father and son. Sonny wants to be a better example to a school-skipping Michael, and somehow that involves cooking dinner for Olivia, who seems ready to spill the beans. Dante and Lulu play Rock Band and kiss, then get interrupted by Jax, who wants Dante to run over to Sonny's and stop Olivia from blowing his cover. Jason and Spinelli use clues from the painting to figure out where Franco's studio is. They also learn that he rented it in Jason's name. Jason shows up to check it out as Franco lurks. Lucky finds Carly's story about what happened the night Claudia "disappeared" a little different from what her medical records indicate, and when he goes over to question her, Michael uses the word "death" instead of "disappearance," because he's an idiot.

Hmmm, I thought the painting clues would spell out CO77X. I guess we're setting that aside for a little while, huh?

Someone needs to get Jax a fluffy white cat to stroke while he's plotting against Sonny.

Rebecca, please do something good in the short time you have left (thankfully) and tell Lucky about Nikolas and Elizabeth. I can't take this ridiculousness anymore.

Good job, Michael! Tell me, do you want your father to go to jail?

December 5th, 2009

Next week: Carly and Jax both make decisions regarding the Michael situation, Elizabeth's fate with Lucky is in Rebecca's hands, and someone figures out one of Dante's secrets.

December 7th, 2009

Rebecca gets tipsy and tells Ethan that Nikolas and Elizabeth are both users. Lucky stops by Wyndemere to tell Nikolas that he and Elizabeth are getting married after all, even though he still knows she isn't happy. Ethan summons Lucky and tells him that Rebecca's not doing so great and said Elizabeth and Nikolas are horrible people, which raises a red flag for Lucky. Rebecca heads to Elizabeth's and implies that she knows where Elizabeth was earlier in the evening. Jason calls Sam over to Franco's studio to help him look through everything for clues as to why he wanted Jason to come by. They finally figure out that Franco must have killed Limbo and posed him as a piece of art. Jason sends Sam to talk to the neighbors and find out if Franco's still in town while he waits for Franco, unaware that Maxie's on her way over. Carly tells Jax that she's worried that Michael has no more ethics. He tells Sonny what's going on and Sonny assures him that all evidence of Claudia's death has been buried (literally). Dante catches Olivia and Sonny kissing and later lectures his mother about getting in the middle of things. She admits that she wanted to tell Sonny the truth but stopped herself, promising that he'll never hear about Dante's identity from her.

See what happens when you don't knock? You either get shot or you catch your parents kissing.

If Jax is wearing a wire, I'm so done with him.

I actually kind of enjoyed Rebecca today. (I know!) Clearly she has to leave before I completely lose my mind.

Don't be a brat, Sam. At least Jason doesn't send you upstairs all the time like Sonny used to with Carly.

December 8th, 2009

Rebecca rips into Elizabeth and threatens to tell Lucky everything. Elizabeth attempts to call her bluff, not realizing that Rebecca most likely isn't bluffing. Meanwhile, Ethan attacks Nikolas for hurting Rebecca, and when Luke and Lucky break up their fight, Luke urges Nikolas to tell his brother what's going on, since he was just about to do it for him. Lucky doesn't care what's going on and leaves just before Elizabeth calls Nikolas to warn him that Rebecca knows about them. As Elizabeth wakes up from a nightmare in which her kids are taken away, Nikolas hits someone or something with his car. Jax summons Dante to his office with promises of a recording of Sonny incriminating himself. Jax gets delayed by Carly, who wants to reconnect, and Dante gets delayed by Lulu, who wants to warn Carly of Sonny's impending bust. When the two finally meet up, Jax plays the recording and Dante points out that it's probably just going to make things harder. Michael hassles Coleman when the latter won't give the former beer, so Coleman calls Jason to come get him. Michael proceeds to start a bar fight and yell at Lucky about how dumb he is for being a cop when his dad is so awesome. He's in the middle of a rant about how much he's been through when Jason arrives. Jason, Maxie, Spinelli, and Sam waste some time in Franco's studio, accomplishing nothing.

Five bucks says Nikolas hit Rebecca and no one's going to be spilling anything for the rest of the week.

When the truth inevitably comes out that Michael killed Claudia, can Jax be arrested for trying to pin it on Sonny? Man, I hope so.

Jason's losing his touch. He searched the studio for cameras but not people?

When Coleman is talking sense into you, you know you're pretty far gone.

December 9th, 2009

Jason retrieves Michael from Jake's before he can spill anything to Lucky, takes him home, and tears into him for the way he's been acting. Carly wants to tell Diane everything and have Michael confess to killing Claudia, but Michael isn't having any of it. Rebecca is taken to the hospital with a spinal injury, but Nikolas and Elizabeth are more interested in keeping her from telling Lucky anything. Sonny arrives in the middle of Jax and Dante's meeting to tell Jax that he wants Michael to move in with him. Jax is against this, of course, and taunts that sooner or later, Sonny will be going down. At home, Carly tells Jax that she wants Michael to stay with them and for her and Jax to patch things up. Realizing that she forgives him but will never forgive him if he sends Sonny to prison, Jax deletes the recording and tells Dante he's on his own. Jason tells Sonny that he thinks Franco killed Limbo and sent him the picture of Claudia. He also thinks he's part of the reason Michael is having such a hard time. Sonny tells him to deal with Franco in the usual way. Steven returns to town, having been asked by Monica to take over as chief of staff. He immediately clashes with Patrick, but at least Elizabeth is happy to see him.

DUDE. Jason was AWESOME today. I'm a little scared of him now.

Remember when Amber Tamblyn left the show and they had Emily get in a bus accident and leave for rehab for a back injury? What do you want to bet they do the same thing with Rebecca?

And Jax's heart grew three sizes that day. Awwwwwww.

They really should have mentioned Steven a few times before today. Anyone who only started watching the show in the past five years would have no idea he even existed.

December 11th, 2009

Jason learns from Max that Franco is back in his studio, so he decides to go confront him. Sam begs him not to go but Jason wants to move sooner rather than later. As Jason and Franco officially meet, Sam confronts Maxie for keeping quiet about what she might know about Franco. Spinelli overhears her accusing Maxie of sleeping with Franco. Dante remembers seeing the CO77X graffiti near a crime scene in Manhattan but can't remember who the culprit was. Lulu helps him get into the PCPD so he can use their computer system to get more information, and while he's there, Lucky catches him. Rebecca continues to taunt Elizabeth, even letting Steven know that his sister isn't as wonderful as she seems. Ethan wants to help Rebecca get revenge on Nikolas, but she has other ideas. Carly tries to stand up to Sonny and convince him to let her take Michael to the police, but he talks her out of it. Johnny can't keep himself away from Olivia.

The fact that Franco has Jason's name written multiple times in a chalkboard tells me that he's not playing with a full deck. Like Faith, he has a 3. Awww, now I miss the other Faith.

Memo to Dante: doors have locks.

Yes, Rebecca, Washington is calling you. Go back to Seattle Grace or wherever it was you came from.

So this means Johnny has to stop complaining about Sonny and Olivia, right?

December 11th, 2009

Franco babbles for a long time about how he and Jason are soulmates and Jason left Limbo alive so Franco could kill him. He admits to being outside the cabin when Claudia was killed but talks like he thinks Jason killed her. Jason plays along until Franco mentions Michael and reveals that he knows exactly what happened. Sonny sends Johnny on an overnight job to get him out of the way so he can check into the hotel and try to seduce Olivia. Lucky realizes that Dante is a cop and quickly teams up with him. Together they discover that the tagger Dante busted years ago was first arrested in 2000 and is definitely Franco. Rebecca tells Nikolas that she'll keep quiet about his affair if she can have Lucky. Spinelli overhears Maxie admitting to Sam that she slept with Franco. Sonny asks Diane to get the police to close Claudia's case. Elizabeth finds it hard to concentrate at work and winds up telling Steven about her affair.

I hate to say it, but James Franco is really chewing the scenery. I can't be the only one who feels that way, right?

I love the idea of Lucky and Dante working together. I think they could be good friends, actually. They both have that my-dad-does-the-opposite-of-what-I-do thing going on.

So...Rebecca thinks Nikolas is going to convince Lucky to fall for her? I don't get what she thinks is going to happen here. She and Sonny seem to have thought their nearly identical plans through equally as badly. Also, Rebecca has about 11 days to carry off whatever her plan is.

It probably wasn't intentional, but that little bit with Lucky figuring out what Dante had done on the computer was actually continuity – Lucky used to be a computer hacker. Yep, Lucky was Spinelli before Spinelli was Spinelli.

December 12th, 2009

Next week: looks like more of the same in pretty much every plot.

December 14th, 2009

Franco tells Jason that he's been following him for months and wants to get the inside scoop on his methods. He even asks Jason to kill him, though he claims he doesn't have a death wish. Jason refuses to talk with him any longer, since his insanity is becoming clearer by the second. Spinelli goes to the studio to confront Franco about Maxie and also quickly sees how crazy he is. Franco threatens to slit Spinelli's throat for art, tells him he only wanted Maxie to get to Jason, and requests that he tell Jason to be more respectful the next time they cross paths. Dante and Lucky realize that CO77X was Franco's booking number when Dante arrested him, and since the tag has shown up at murder scenes, he probably had something to do with Limbo's death. The two agree to keep working together, an idea Mac supports, but they need a place to meet, so Dante commandeers Lulu and Maxie's apartment. Nikolas thinks that if Rebecca and Lucky do get together, he and Elizabeth will be free to do whatever they want, but Elizabeth wants to stay on the road she's been on. Nikolas desperately announces that he loves her, but she won't listen to him. Spinelli doesn't want to talk to Maxie, who doesn't know what he's upset about. She enlists Lulu to go to Franco's with her to destroy any incriminating photos, tell him to keep quiet about their night together, and convince him to do the photo shoot. Olivia tells Sonny that not only does she love Johnny, but he's not a substitution for Sonny.

I'll admit, I laughed at Franco and Spinelli's little "Who's on First" moment. I don't feel good about it, but I did laugh.

Hee, I love Dante telling Lulu that her apartment will be the new Lucky/Dante headquarters. They're a great match.

Gotta love it when someone actually tells Sonny it's not all about him.

Shut up, Elizabeth. I hate it when people pull that "if you love me, you'll X" crap.

December 15th, 2009

At Franco's studio, Maxie and Lulu run into Franco's agent, Gillian Carlyle, who tells them he's gone back to France and chases them off. Jason shows Spinelli the photo Franco took of Maxie, wanting to know if it came from the same camera that took the photo of Claudia. Maxie decides it's time to come clean with Spinelli. Someone paints "CO77X" on the sidewalk outside Maxie and Lulu's apartment building. Jason worries that Franco's right about them having more in common than he thought. Dante and Lucky learn of a string of unsolved murders in France and wonder if Franco is a serial killer. Dante waits around for Lulu, teases her about claiming they're not dating, and kisses her. Nikolas picks a fight with Luke, which Lucky breaks up. Luke and Lucky then have a conversation about Lucky not wanting to be like Luke, who always disappoints him. Lisa loses a patient who probably should have been Patrick's and thinks he wishes he'd taken her from Lisa. Kate and Coleman plug a movie and make out.

And Luke...still hasn't told Lucky about the affair. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

Who waits around for someone in the dark? You're weird, Dante.

Yay, the agent finally has a name!

I knew the Nine plug was coming sometime, but I didn't expect it to be that hideous.

December 16th, 2009

Sonny comes across Lucky talking to Michael and asks him to back off. He then goes to Luke, who's upset about Lucky turning on him, and asks him to talk to Lucky about the same thing. Meanwhile, Lucky tells Dante that Michael knows something about Claudia's murder and encourages him to look into it. Dante gets his chance when he and Michael both wind up at Sonny's house and Dante tries to press for more details. Lucky warns Carly that sooner or later the truth will come out. Maxie confesses her affair to Spinelli and encourages him to sleep with someone else so they're even. Patrick and Steven settle their differences with a game of darts. Ethan randomly shows up while Alexis, Kristina, Molly, Diane, and Kiefer are decorating Christmas cookies together. After Kiefer leaves abruptly, Kristina blames herself for not paying enough attention to him, but Diane tells her to never grovel. Then Mac randomly shows up but nothing happens with that.

What in the world did Sonny think Luke could accomplish for him? Also, if one more person tells Lucky to back off from Michael, he's going to realize there's something there to know. I'm kind of surprised he hasn't already figured it out. Oh, wait, no, I'm not – he doesn't even know what his own fiancée is doing half the time. I do think that Carly will be the first to crack, and now I think she'll spill to Lucky. Why else get him so involved in this story?

I kind of hope Spinelli's crush on Anne Hathaway becomes a running joke. At least I find it funny.

You know what's boring? Watching people decorate for Christmas. one wonders why Ethan showed up at Alexis' house? Because it seemed really weird to me.

December 17th, 2009

Dante's worried about using what Michael might know against Sonny, so he goes to Olivia for advice. He also declines to tell Ronnie that Michael might have witnessed Claudia's murder. Sonny sees that Jason is distracted by the Franco investigation and asks Dante to keep an eye on him so he doesn't screw anything up. Jason figures out that Franco will be making a field trip to the Pine Barrens, but when he and Sam arrive, Franco's already been there – he's retrieved Claudia's body, stashed it somewhere, and kept her bracelet. Rebecca tries to put the moves on Lucky, which he thinks is really weird. Steven tells Nikolas to stay away from Elizabeth. Maxie still wants Spinelli to sleep with someone else, even though Sam tells her it's a really bad idea.

Shouldn't Sonny tell Dante exactly why Franco is such a threat? Or is that just wishful thinking?

Do I want to know where Franco put Claudia's body? Probably not.

Okay, Dante, if you're having a crisis of conscience, it's time to remove yourself from the case.

Um...didn't Rebecca have spinal damage?

December 18th, 2009

As Jason decides to rectify his mistake of leaving Franco alive, Dante goes to the Pine Barrens and becomes the next person to learn that Claudia's body is gone. Jason enlists him for a trip back to Franco's studio, where they find Claudia's bracelet. Franco and Ronnie have some sort of history, and the former knows the latter is a cop. Ronnie doesn't seem concerned that a serial killer knows his secret and/or has it in for him, so the fact that Franco runs him down with his car shouldn't come to his surprise. Franco then shows up at the Christmas tree lot everyone shops at and runs into Carly. Sonny wants to spend more time with Kristina, and they're actually bonding when she comes across an ornament Claudia bought and announces that she knows Sonny killed Claudia. Elizabeth tells Rebecca the history of the Four Musketeers, which is probably mostly an excuse for some flashbacks. Rebecca is somehow moved by this.

Call me crazy, but I just don't think Franco's going to kill the highest-billed woman on the show over a Christmas tree.

I love how everyone's just driving back and forth from the Pine Barrens like they're two towns over.

Dante doesn't seem worried that Franco could recognize him. And Jason doesn't seem worried that Franco might tell Dante that Michael killed Claudia. These people need to worry more.

Sorry, Ronnie, but you brought this on yourself by being the most expendable person on the show.

Did we seriously spend half of today's episode listening to Elizabeth talk about her rape? Which happened, oh, 11 years ago? Seriously, writers?

December 19th, 2009

Next week: Franco maybe holds off on killing anyone else until after the holidays?

December 21st, 2009

Franco tells Carly that he once had a daughter named Lauren, urging her never to take Josslyn for granted. He also tells her to tell her friend that he knows where to find Franco. Franco stops by to see Ronnie, telling him that Jason will have to choose. Lulu spots him but doesn't recognize him. Later, Lulu and Steven see that he's written "CO77X" nearby, so Lulu calls Dante to let him know. Dante and Jason arrive, and Ronnie relays Franco's "you choose" message to Jason. A big deal is made over Carly losing Josslyn's hat, and Franco waits around for Jason at the restaurant, wanting to give him a package. Robin cuts herself while tending to Ronnie and comes clean to Lisa and Steven about her HIV status. Steven couldn't care less but Lisa wants to know how Patrick deals with it, and she asks way too many personal questions and won't shut up about how much he's changed. Rebecca announces that she's leaving Port Charles, and not a minute too soon.

So what, exactly, is Jason choosing? What kind of beer he wants to drink with Franco?

I'm 99 percent certain Josslyn didn't have a hat at the lot, because I actually noticed that she wasn't wearing one, since, you know, it's cold out and she's a baby. I thought Carly was a better mother than that. (I know, I know, it's weird to say that.)

Good luck redeeming yourself after today, Lisa.

I officially don't have to listen to Rebecca anymore!

December 22nd, 2009

Franco leaves Jason Josslyn's hat, which prompts Carly to give him Franco's message about being more respectful the next time they encounter each other. Jason interprets the incident as Franco letting him know he can get to people Jason loves. Franco has decorated his tree with ornaments featuring the faces of said people. Sonny invites his kids over for dinner but they all have to bail, so he cooks for Olivia and Dante instead. Nikolas tells Emily that he's going to try to make things better for the people whose lives he's messing with. Rebecca finally leaves town, making a possible love connection with a guy who happens to be the spitting image of Zander. Jax and Carly whatever. Jason spreads some holiday cheer by telling Sam he loves her.

Couldn't we have had a happy ending, with Jason and Sam saying they love each other, instead of Franco being crazy some more?

I'm surprised there weren't more pointed comments and near slip-ups between Dante and Olivia today. She's almost as good at undercover work as he is.

While I appreciate the inside joke of having Chad Brannon appear on today's show, I have to wonder how many people knew who he was.

Will someone PLEASE put hats on the children of Port Charles!

December 23rd, 2009

Lucky invites Luke and Ethan over for Christmas Eve, but only Ethan shows up. Lucky goes over to see Luke, they reminisce about Christmases, and Lucky guilts Luke into coming over. Carly wants to know what Jax got her for Christmas, so she tries to bribe Morgan into spilling it. He won't, so she says he probably doesn't know because Jax and Michael wouldn't trust him to keep it quiet. This makes him spill that the present's in the attic, so Carly tries to get in from the roof (yes, she's that dumb) and falls. Maxie and Spinelli fight, but Mac prompts them to call a truce by reminding Spinelli that Georgie died around Christmas. Sam, Kristina, and Molly arrange for Mac to show up at Alexis', then set the two of them up to meet under the mistletoe. Robin and Patrick want to spend an intimate Christmas together, but Matt and Lisa ruin their plans.

Carly is the sort of person who disproves Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest.

Maxie and Lulu's tree was HIDEOUS. Kate would throw up if she saw what they did to what was supposed to be her tree.

Yeah, I bet Lucky invited Dante over for Christmas Eve. Lucky, the point of a secret alliance is that it's supposed to be secret.

Spencer knows what Christmas is? I bet he doesn't believe in Santa, though. It's not logical.

December 26th, 2009

Next week: lots of stuff, which is surprising for a three-air-day week between holidays. Michael continues to turn into his father (and I don't mean Sonny), Sonny finds someone else to flirt with, Franco finally figures out which of Jason's buttons he needs to push, and someone tells Johnny what really happened to Claudia (and you'll probably be surprised by who that someone is).

December 28th, 2009

Franco sends Johnny a picture of Claudia's empty grave, and Jason suspects that he's trying to force him to kill Johnny. Instead, Jason tells him that Michael killed Claudia and asks him to keep it quiet. Sam wants to spend a romantic night alone with Jason to get his mind off of Franco, but Franco has other ideas. Sonny meets Lisa, who seems pretty taken with him. Olivia catches them together and is clearly jealous. Dante wants to take Lulu out but won't tell her where. She denies to Maxie that their relationship means anything, but he clearly means something to her. Robin and Patrick celebrate their first anniversary. Molly and Kristina try to get Sam to help them set up Alexis and Mac for New Year's Eve. Alexis wants Sam to convince them to back off since she doesn't think she and Mac have any chemistry.

I'm reasonably sure that Johnny won't do anything to Michael for killing Claudia. But then again, "Johnny" and "reasonable" don't always fit together.

Didn't I say that Franco should get to Jason through Sam? Didn't I say it??

Dear people who hate Olivia: Are you nuts?

Apparently Lulu now has four older brothers to question Dante's intentions.

December 29th, 2009

Jason decides he can't spare the evening away from his Franco investigation, so he leaves Sam a message telling her he can't meet her at her apartment. When he changes his mind and goes anyway, Franco has already taken off with her. Michael is pulled over for drunk driving but gets off scot-free thanks to Lucky. He comes home to find a surprise birthday party, which breaks up so his parents can lecture him and take away his car. Johnny tells Olivia that he knows who killed Claudia, but he won't tell her because he doesn't want Dante to know. Dante and Lulu go to the opera, then almost have limo sex. Maxie really needs to shut up. She also manages to get Anne Hathaway's phone number for Spinelli. Lisa thinks Johnny wanted to meet Olivia at Sonny's restaurant to make him jealous.

Wait, I'm not supposed to be smarter than Jason! This is really bad, you guys!

Holy crap, Sonny did exactly what I would have done in the same situation – he took Michael's car away. So for the record, I'm smarter than Jason and on Sonny's side about something. What's wrong with the world today??

Oh, look, Maxie's being annoying. Everything's as it should be after all.

Dear Lucky, you can officially stop talking about Luke raping Laura. It's been 30 years.

Instead of Al-Anon PSAs, this show should run condom commercials after every episode.

December 30th, 2009

Molly and Kristina arrange a date for Alexis and Mac, not telling Alexis about it until the last minute. She resists going and thinks the night is going to be horrible when her car breaks down, but she and Mac wind up bonding over Steve McQueen and dancing. Robin and Patrick's plans for a night out are ruined by emergencies at the hospital. Matt thinks Patrick and Lisa's connection isn't completely severed. Elizabeth surprises Lucky with a night alone at Jake's. Maxie and Spinelli help Max and Diane with some similar relationship issues but still don't solve their own problems. Kiefer gets mad at Kristina for always making excuses not to be with him, accusing her of preferring Ethan over him. Franco creepily spends New Year's Eve alone.

Mac and Alexis are too cute. I'd love to see them double date with Max and Diane. Speaking of which, more Max and Diane!

Shut up, Matt. You're only on once a month – do you have to be so annoying when you finally make an appearance?

You just know the writers love that they have a Lucky who can sing again.

Dear writers, you don't have to end every episode with Franco.

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