General Hospital blog - December, 2011

December 1st, 2011

Shawn translates N02CCAH5 as five elements from the periodic table, plus some unknown character (not a 5 after all). Spinelli now has a whole social network devoted to him, and one of his followers tells him that the symbol is ancient and indicates a bond to a creator. Mac lets Dante work on Lisa's murder case, and Ronnie partners him with Padilla. Shawn's getting overprotective of Carly, so she suggests that he move into her house. Robin is the subject of a board meeting she isn't invited to. Patrick plans to be unavailable for surgery in a couple weeks. He also gets some test done without wanting Robin to know about it, though she seems to have gotten a test done secretly as well. Matt cleared his schedule in the middle of the night, called the hospital's forensics department, and disappeared. Mac asks Alexis to represent Robin or Maxie if necessary. Johnny flirts with Padilla again, but she's more suspicious than ever since a witness saw him on the water the night Lisa died. The mystery guests at Wyndemere somehow manage to see each other despite not having faces. Molly sneaks over and gets spotted by one of them. Ethan thinks one of them is the guy who saved Elizabeth. Sonny and Kate do something or another in New York.

That explains why they made Shawn a former science teacher.

More proof that the PCPD sucks: They waited a month to collect the murder suspects' clothes.

Can we please stop calling Maxie and Robin "girls"? Especially Robin, who's a freaking doctor?

Maybe Jason and Sam should spread the news that Franco's in town so, for example, Molly won't go wandering off by herself?

I think Anthony's forgotten that Maxie saw him the night of Lisa's death...

December 2nd, 2011

Robin has a confession to make to Patrick. Mac thinks Robin is hiding something. Lulu finds out that Dante's on Lisa's case and they have a big fight about how he thinks she's asking him to be someone he isn't. Maggie tells Elizabeth that Luke brought Aiden to the hospital, which infuriates her. Monica's also angry and slaps Luke for killing Jake. Ethan lures the woman in white out of hiding and is surprised to see that she's...a total stranger. Robin gets temporarily ousted as chief of staff, with Monica taking the job again. Patrick is furious but Robin is fine with the decision. Sonny, Kate, his childhood home, blah. Lucky tells Luke he appreciates him coming through with Aiden, but mentions that he saw Luke with an open bottle. Tracy asks Michael for help with an ELQ deal; in exchange he asks her to send Abby on a business trip so she'll be away from all the attacks.

My guess is that Robin's either sick or thinks she killed Lisa. Or possibly she thinks Patrick killed Lisa.

Granted, Lulu is going all Courtney here, but Dante's being a little unreasonable.

I do enjoy the fact that they kept the woman in white's face hidden, only to reveal that she's no one familiar.

I also enjoy that, once again, Abby's smarter than everyone.

Week in review:
Funniest moment (intentional): "Of the three of us, I am the only one that hasn't had sex with Lisa Niles" (Monica to Patrick and Steven)
Funniest moment (unintentional): Emma wearing all pink with an orange hoodie
Saddest moment: Robin on the bridge
Sweetest moment: Abby giving Michael a datebook with notes about times they're going to spend together
Least believable moment: Tracy asking Michael for help
Most annoying characters: Dante, Maxie
Dumbest character: Sam for wandering around alone at night
Unanswered questions of the week: 1. What's up with Robin?
2. Where did Matt go?
Previously unanswered question now answered: Franco sent the wind-up baby to Josslyn.

December 3rd, 2011

Next week: Round up the usual suspects.

December 5th, 2011

Lulu and Dante have a huge fight about how he feels she's trying to change him and she feels he's not willing to consider her view. She also compares Dante to Luke and accuses him of treating her like everyone treated Laura. In the end, Lulu tries to give back the engagement ring, and though Dante won't take it, he also prepares to really get back to work. Luke lets Elizabeth yell at him about taking Aiden to the hospital and killing Jake, which leads to her collapsing. Lucky tells Elizabeth what happened in Ireland, and now she thinks Jake was trying to tell him how much she and the boys need him. Lucky has to tell her again that they're not getting back together. Ethan thinks the woman in white is hiding from Helena. She runs off without giving him any answers, then leaves a message asking him not to tell anyone she's there. He leaves a response assuring her that she doesn't need to worry. Ethan then gets another message, this one from Luke, telling him not to chase ghosts because they might chase back. Oh, and he's leaving town. Robin starts to tell Patrick that she made a mistake, but he assures her he's already taken care of it: He didn't turn in all their clothes to the police. Mac admits to Alexis that he's considering framing himself for Lisa's murder to protect Robin and Maxie. He also wants to make sure she's not planning to get back together with Sonny.

I swear, the next person who mentions Laura gets punched in the face.

What the--? Is the woman in white mute or something?

I guess Patrick thinks Robin's a murderer, huh?

I like it when Mac gets stuff to do.

December 6th, 2011

Shawn moves in with Carly, and Michael is unsurprisingly mad about it. Shawn thinks Michael should stay out of the investigation into the strippers' attacks because Franco might see him as a target. This brings up bad memories for Michael, who complains to Sam, telling her that no one can understand what he's been through unless he or she has gone through it, too. Lucky and Elizabeth fight some more, and she doesn't take it well when he tells her she needs help. However, she proves his point by writing a note on her pillow in lipstick, then taking off. Sonny has a run-in with a childhood acquaintance who's now a cop and doesn't have good memories of him. He lets Sonny know that Deke led everyone in the neighborhood to believe that Sonny was the abusive member of the family. Coleman shows Jason some more graffiti left by Franco: the same message as before, but now with a white O or 0 on the end. Diane hangs out with the now-ex-Mayor Floyd, who's running the newspaper, going by his middle name, Prescott, and way too interested in what Sam's up to.

How did this become both Reliving Traumatic Experiences Week and Note-Writing Week?

I'm probably the only one amused by Carly and Shawn's banter, but I'm all right with that.

It's okay, Elizabeth. Everyone on this show needs help.

Is it weird that I kind of like Floyd? Okay, I don't like him as a character, but I like that he stirs things up.

December 7th, 2011

Michael guesses that Sam was "victimized" at one time or another, but she doesn't give him any specifics. After wracking his brain for clues Franco might have given him in the past, Jason figures out that Franco wants to meet him on the street where he killed Joey Limbo two years ago. Floyd urges Diane to talk to Johnny's strippers to find out what's going on. He also sees Franco's graffiti and guesses that he's back. He wants to publish the news on the front page of the paper, probably even more so after Jason tells him not to. Jason announces that he's going to take care of Franco, and Floyd taunts that he hasn't done very well with that in the past. Jason roughs him up, and Floyd goes to get Dante to arrest him, preventing him from meeting Franco. Lulu goes to Maxie for relationship advice, and Maxie tells her to dump Dante. Lulu realizes that she needs to either be 100 percent committed to her relationship or walk away. She chooses the second option. Kate catches Sonny talking to his younger self and trying to banish him from his life. Then they go make good use of the bed in his hotel room. Maxie tries to cover for Matt with Mac, who begs her to confess to him anything she might have done on the boat. Dante asks Delores out for drinks so they can get to know each other better.

Floyd reminds me of Jonah Jameson, which is funny because Jason has Spidey sense and Franco is Harry Osborn.

Lulu, you need more friends if Maxie's the person you go to for relationship help.

Maxie's Brooklyn accent was awesome.

Delores, I was with you until you put that feather in your hair.

December 8th, 2011

Maxie calls in the favor Anthony promised her, asking him to frame someone for Lisa's murder so she and Matt will be off the hook. She also realizes that Lisa was the one who injured him the night she pulled him out of the harbor and attempts to blackmail him with the information. Sam and Michael find a DVD left by Franco, and though Michael wants to try to get it to Jason, Sam refuses to let him know about it, since she's pretty sure she knows what's on it. Delores asks Dante to let her take over the investigation into who's going after the strippers. She informs him that five were attacked in 2009 and five in 2010, so two more will probably be assaulted before the end of the year. Dante doesn't want to give her access to the evidence room, so she steals his key. Spinelli psychoanalyzes Lulu, guessing that she's wary of Dante leaving her because Luke has left her so many times. He also tells her to remember why she fell in love with Dante in the first place. Instead, she thinks it's better to let go. Kate wants Sonny to confront his past, but he doesn't want to do it with her around. He does, however, want to go ice skating. Maggie asks Steven if he thinks Robin killed Lisa, and he insists that she didn't. Johnny is amusingly smug with Olivia and Steven.

Who, exactly, does Maxie think deserves to be framed?

It's ironic that Franco and Sonny are both talking about going back to the beginning, and both beginnings involve brownstones.

Delores is quickly climbing my list of favorite characters. (She's still behind Alexis, Olivia, and Johnny, though.)

I guess if we're being fair, Lulu didn't fall in love with Dante knowing he was a cop. She thought he was a mobster. But I don't want to be fair, because she's turning into Courtney, and no one wants that.

I kind of want Johnny and Maggie to hook up. They'd be Johnny and Lisa 2.0.

December 9th, 2011

Matt turns up in time to get rounded up with the other suspects in Lisa's murder and taken back to the scene of the crime. Mac announces that there's evidence implicating everyone, and they all turn on each other. On Delores' suggestion, Mac tells the suspects that the cops will probably make an arrest based on a final piece of evidence left on the boat. Later, Dante returns to the boat and finds Olivia there. Sam tells Jason that she and Michael found a painted circle but nothing else from Franco. She also swears Michael to secrecy, telling him Jason can't handle news of the DVD right now. She watches it, then breaks down. Jason attacks Floyd again, this time getting interrupted by Alexis and a cop. He admits that he doesn't know what's wrong with him. Anthony thinks everyone had the ability to kill Lisa, and he finds it ironic that they would accuse him and Johnny. Johnny thinks he's hiding something. The first mate is in someone's sights.

Yeah, I bet Olivia, the one person there who actually didn't have a motive, killed Lisa. Though she would be the least likely suspect...

I bet if Delores ever did really call Johnny's bluff, he would completely freak out and not know what to do.

Sam didn't want to see Alexis? She definitely needs therapy.

Sorry, first mate, but you're expendable. Should've seen that coming.

Arrested: Jason Morgan
Broke up: Dante Falconeri and Lulu Spencer
MIA: Elizabeth Webber

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Delores' continued reactions to Johnny, Alexis remarking that Floyd using his middle name is stupid
Funniest moment (unintentional): Carly telling Shawn she doesn't need a man
Saddest moments: Elizabeth reminding Lucky that Jake didn't even make it to four, Lulu returning Dante's ring
Sweetest moment: Not a whole lot of that going around right now
Least believable moment: Did Sam not know what was on the DVD? She just looked really surprised when it started
Most annoying character: Elizabeth
Dumbest character: Floyd
Unanswered question of the week: I was sure I'd used this before, but I guess not, so: Who killed Lisa?

December 10th, 2011

Next week: Road trip!

December 12th, 2011

Alexis tells Jason he'll have to clue her in to what happened in Hawaii if he wants her to get him out of jail. He only tells her about the cameras and warns that Sam will probably try to go after Franco on her own (which seems to be exactly what she's planning). Michael just thinks Jason and Sam are upset on his behalf. Abby calls from Chicago, and toward the end of her conversation with Michael, he hears a bang and the line goes dead. Dante tells Olivia he found a necklace she lost the night of Lisa's murder, and he thinks she came to get it because she thinks it'll incriminate her. Delores jumps in the fray, and suddenly Dante gets protective, because apparently only he's allowed to accuse his mother of possibly being a murderer. Sonny and Kate run into an old neighbor who blasts Kate for her poor choice in men. She reveals that Kate's mother was secretly happy that she ran off and changed her name because it got her out of Bensonhurst and away from people like Sonny. Alexis hires Ethan to look after Wyndemere, where he finds another message from the woman in white: "IC." Maggie finds Robin crying in the lounge and tries to cheer her up. Robin then goes to Jason for help. Floyd asks Alexis out, so she tells him she's dating Mac. Maggie wonders if the murder investigation will lead to someone looking into Steven's past.

They let Jason out of jail before to catch Franco - why not again? Actually, I would consider telling Alexis what happened because she would most likely hunt Franco down and kill him with her bare hands, saving Jason the trouble.

How long are Sonny and Kate staying in New York? I'd like to know how often I'll be hitting the fast-forward button in the near future.

IC = something Cassadine?

You want help from Jason, Robin? TAKE A NUMBER.

Are we going to have Alexis/Mac/Floyd wacky hijinks? I wouldn't say no to wacky hijinks.

December 13th, 2011

Robin asks Jason to help her disappear after she gives Patrick and Emma one last great Christmas. She's developed a resistance to her medication, as well as other kinds, and suspects that Lisa replaced her pills with placebos. Even after they talk about Stone's death and how Robin doesn't want her family to see her suffer, Jason refuses to help her leave. Dante and Delores confront Anthony with the news that some of his blood was found on the boat. Then they get distracted when someone texts Dante with a supposed confession. He and Delores go back to the boat, where they find a body, probably belonging to the first mate. Michael panics when he can't get back in touch with Abby, then learns that she was hurt in a construction accident and taken to a hospital. He and Sam head off for Chicago. Elizabeth checks herself into Shadybrook and fully reverts to annoying mode. Maxie bugs Matt about where he disappeared to, but all he'll say is that he was doing the operation in his published paper. Patrick asks Maggie for help picking out a present for Robin. She mentions seeing Robin upset earlier, so now he's worried.

While I understand Robin's paranoia, I don't think Lisa could have replaced her medication for so long. I mean, she was in a coma for part of that time. Also, I guess that answers my question about how they're going to write Robin out.

Wouldn't it be ironic if Delores' husband is the construction worker who injured Abby?

Patrick, why are you asking Maggie for gift ideas? Maxie seems like a much more logical choice.

Mystery guy? Is that you?

December 14th, 2011

Jason urges Robin to talk to Patrick, but when she tries to, he gets called away. Shawn tells Carly about Jason's arrest, so of course she goes straight to the police station. She and Robin start fighting, which sets Jason off, which makes the women worried about his health. Elizabeth is drawn to the guy across the hall, who's Australian, a painter, and very insightful. Matt thinks she's going to extremes to try to get Lucky back. Patrick bugs Maggie about Robin. Sam and Michael head to Chicago apparently without telling anyone.

Ironically, I was thinking yesterday that Robin should call Anna to help her disappear; today the news came out that Finola Hughes will be back in February. So...that's pretty cool.

Hey, mystery guy, whose name is totally Ewen, if you have a room at Shadybrook (where I'm pretty sure you're a doctor, not a patient), why do you keep hanging out on Spoon Island? Um, spoiler.

I love how Sam and Michael rushed off on the first flight to Chicago...but still got seats in first class.

Do we really need the random nurse with the red hair and the beret?

December 15th, 2011

Holy crap, Abby's dead. Alexis gets Jason released, and minutes later Floyd tries to provoke him into more violence. This time Alexis forces him to back off. Carly finds the DVD in the penthouse and takes it to Jason, who watches it by himself. It features Franco congratulating him and saying, "We're gonna be a daddy." Mac exposits that Briggs confessed to killing Lisa (because Lisa had killed the captain, her secret boyfriend), then killed herself. Anthony admits to Maxie that he actually killed Briggs, and now he wants another favor. Mac is perfectly happy with the story he's been presented with, but Delores thinks something's fishy. Maxie tells Lulu to get back together with Dante, and it looks like Lulu's listening. Patrick isn't happy to hear that Robin went to see Jason. Sonny and Kate are boring.

Wow, they killed Abby! I didn't see that coming. But maybe now Chad Duell will get the Emmy he was robbed of last year.

Did "we're gonna be a daddy" give anyone else a full-body shudder? I don't think Franco's done that to me since he promised to keep a better eye on Josslyn.

Of course you're suspicious, Delores. You know how to do your job.

Whenever Patrick complains about Robin being friends with Jason, she should totally bring up the time when he slept with Lisa. Um, I mean, she sure is patient with him.

December 16th, 2011

Michael calls Abby's mother, who doesn't care that her daughter's dead, and gets upset that her parents would basically abandon her. This gets Sam upset as well, and she finally tells Michael what happened with Franco. Lulu tells Dante she's sorry she didn't accept his proposal immediately, then proposes to him. After she assures him she really is committed, he says yes. Jason trashes the penthouse and tells Spinelli he's not sure what's setting him off. Spinelli thinks being married has exposed his weakness. Monica's worried about Jason's anger and asks him to see a specialist. Matt tells Elizabeth that his super-top-secret patient died. As Ewen eavesdrops, they discuss Lucky and whether she's basically putting on a show for him. Johnny keeps flirting with Delores, then mentions that he saw her try to break into the evidence room. Lucky asks Maxie to decorate Elizabeth's house for Christmas. Elizabeth thinks she and the mystery painter, Ewen, have met before. Ethan leaves notes and food for the woman in white.

No offense, Sam, but is this really the right time for this?

I give Dante and Lulu a year. And that's generous.

Why don't they give Delores her own key? Dumb.

Hey, snoopy, who says that apple was for you?

Back together/engaged: Dante Falconeri and Lulu Spencer
Dead: Briggs, Abby Haver

Week in review:
Funniest moment (intentional): All of Johnny's scenes with Delores still crack me up
Funniest moment (unintentional): Josslyn babbling through all her scenes
Saddest moment: Michael seeing Abby's body
Sweetest moment: Dante and Lulu's reengagement
Least believable moment: Lucky asking Maxie to decorate Elizabeth's house
Most annoying character: Matt
Dumbest character: Really, Jason, you can't figure out what's making you so mad?
Previously unanswered questions now answered: 1. Robin's sick.
2. Matt disappeared to operate on someone.

December 17th, 2011

Next week: Everyone's angsty all week, and then people actually get happy.

December 19th, 2011

Shawn agrees to take Jason's place at a meeting while he goes to Chicago. Shawn and Bernie walk into an ambush in Sonny's office and Bernie is shot. Carly arrives to find Shawn unresponsive, in the middle of a PTSD episode. Michael tries to comfort Sam, who admits (as Jason eavesdrops) that she feels like she can't confide in Jason because he's already so angry about Franco. Lucky asks Elizabeth to come home for Christmas and she agrees, to Matt and Ewen's disappointment. Elizabeth tries to sneak a look at Ewen's painting but he catches her, then admits he overheard her conversation with Lucky and Matt. She has the nerve to be offended that someone violated her privacy and tells him to focus on his own treatment. Later, she learns that he's actually a psychiatrist. Robin tells Patrick she needs to go to a conference so she can help her "patient." Matt complains about trials not being helpful, so Robin schools him on hope and persistence. Kate decorates Sonny's old home for Christmas and gives him a trumpet. Matt admits that he thought Robin or Patrick killed Lisa.

It took less time for Jason to get to Chicago than it's going to take for an ambulance to get to poor Bernie.

So Shawn's fully mobbed up now, eh?

Yeah, I officially hate Elizabeth again. Shut up, you little shrew. You and Matt deserve each other.

Hey, let's end an episode full of shootings, discussions of rape, and sick HIV patients with Sonny and Kate's wacky hijinks!

December 20th, 2011

Carly tries to protect Shawn from Ronnie as he comes out of his episode. She then takes him to the hospital, where Ewen, now working there, observes his behavior and guesses that he has PTSD. He sends a service dog over and discovers that when Shawn's with him, he isn't jumpy. Shawn laments to Carly that he can't afford a service dog, so know she knows what to get him for Christmas. Jason spends ten minutes in Chicago, then has to go back to New York because of Bernie's shooting. He blames himself for it since he didn't foresee an ambush. Elizabeth is all happy about having her family back together until Lucky overhears Maxie accusing her of faking a breakdown to get him back. That leads to a fight and Lucky deciding the family thing is over. Sonny and Kate are close to getting it on when he gets a call about the goings-on in Port Charles and has to leave. Michael and Sam comfort each other. Lucky gets a postcard (from the woman in Ireland?) saying, "I hope you find what you're looking for."

Imagine how much less angst there would be on the show if everyone just got a service dog. Or if Ewen could just solve everyone's problems in five minutes.

What was the point of them having Jason go to Chicago? Unless they wanted to give him a really, really good alibi for something.

I don't know a whole lot about this sort of thing, but if Sonny and Kate still have their clothes on after 45 minutes, I think they're doing it wrong.

I said the next person who mentioned Laura would get punched in the face, so come here, Maxie.

December 21st, 2011

Lucky spends time with Cameron before heading off to Ireland to continue his search, or whatever. Elizabeth confronts Maxie about the accusations of faking her breakdown, and Matt has to break up their fight. He makes the mistake of taking Elizabeth's side, then tells Maxie he wants to make things up to her and give her a good Christmas. Elizabeth slams Ewen for not telling her he's a psychiatrist, because it's okay when she lies, but not when anyone else does. When Elizabeth hears that Lucky's about to leave, she rushes off, but instead of going to the airport, she goes to ask Ewen for help. Jason talks to Sonny about his anger, and Sonny, who's been there, is able to give him some actual good advice. Jason admits that he's not sure he can handle his job while he's dealing with his issues. He tells Sonny a little about what happened in Hawaii but is hesitant to tell him everything. Dante takes Lulu to New York, where a visit to Ground Zero makes her emotional and brings up her doubts about being a cop's wife again. But she actually discusses her feelings instead of keeping them inside, and doesn't get angsty or drink or anything. Then Dante suggests that they get married while they're in New York. Lucky warns Ethan that the woman in white could be conning him.

Your eyes do not deceive you, long-time watchers: The woman in the airport with the two kids was Lisa Vultaggio (AKA Hannah), Jonathan Jackson's wife, and the kids are their older two children. Those of you who didn't watch when Hannah was on, that woman means nothing to you, but she was pretty unmemorable to the rest of us, so don't worry about it.

Sonny missed his calling as a psychiatrist. (No, I'm not drunk.)

Speaking of psychiatrists, I'm impressed Lulu managed to pull herself together without one.

I think I'll miss Lucky and Ethan's scenes together most of all.

Must be nice to get a paycheck when you haven't worked in two months.

December 22nd, 2011

Carly and Sonny comfort Michael, who wants to get further into the organization to distract himself. Sonny refuses so Michael kicks him out. Lulu and Dante decide to get married on Christmas. Sam finds the broken DVD in the trash, but Jason refuses to talk about what Franco said on it. Robin is reinstated as chief of staff, but she doesn't want the job back. She calls Brenda to get in touch with a doctor who can give her a second opinion. Spinelli decides to give Jason and Sam some space and stay in a hotel for Christmas, and since Maxie's trying to avoid Matt, she offers to spend the holiday with him. That is, until she makes up with Matt and ditches him. Monica and Robin talk about their worries over Jason.

I just realized that with Abby gone, there's no one to try to talk Michael out of mobbing up.

Lulu doesn't want to invite her family to her wedding because she doesn't want to bother them? Girl....

Maybe Spinelli can spend Christmas with Max and Milo. I bet they just drink and watch football all day.

Monica should call Sam and bug her about making Jason get examined.

December 23rd, 2011

Dante tries to get Olivia to disinvite their whole family from the wedding, so she keeps them outside the church until it's over. Dante's cousin marries him and Lulu with no drama or interruptions, a true Christmas miracle. Sam and Jason give each other a phoenix and a dragon, looking forward to a Christmas where they focus just on each other. Robin manages to also put her issues aside to spend Christmas with her family. Tracy learns that Edward and Monica had been looking forward to certain presents from their late spouses, so she sends Alice out to buy them. Alice can't get to the store before it closes, but the presents arrive anyway. Tracy also gets her own: an invitation to a New Year's gathering and some diamonds. Ewen psychoanalyzes Elizabeth some more, then gives her art supplies. Lucky returns to the church in Ireland, where someone joins him, but we don't get to see who.

Um, I still give Dante and Lulu a year, but I'm less confident about it than I was before.

I wish Jason had gone to see the Quartermaines, but oh, well. At least Tracy's heart grew three sizes.

Dear Ewen, you are a little bit creepy now.

We're never going to know who that was in Ireland, are we?

Injured: Bernie Abrams
Left town: Lucky Spencer
Married: Dante Falconeri and Lulu Spencer

Week in review:
Funniest moment (intentional): Dante's cousin's little remarks at the wedding
Funniest moment (unintentional): Olivia's completely cheesy announcement that Dante and Lulu were married
Saddest moment: Anything involving Michael
Sweetest moments: Dante and Lulu's wedding, Sam and Jason's gifts to each other, Tracy being nice for once
Least believable moment: Ewen doesn't seem to think anything he's doing is out of bounds
Most annoying characters: Elizabeth, Matt
Dumbest character: Ewen
Unanswered question of the week: Who was at the church in Ireland?

December 24th, 2011

Next week: For once, Carly and I are on the same wavelength.

December 27th, 2011

Sam and Patrick talk parenting and moving on from horrible experiences. Jason tells Robin he'll only go in for a follow-up appointment if she tells Patrick she's sick. Dante catches Delores in the evidence room and tells her he knows her motivation for the extra investigating: her murdered sister Rosa. After Sonny tells him about Abby and asks him to reach out to Michael, Dante's interest in the stripper-assault cases grows. Carly gives Shawn a dog he doesn't want to accept. Sonny offers Dante and Lulu a $100,000 wedding present, but Dante isn't sure if he should keep it. Kate is now hesitant to restart anything with Sonny. Lulu can't cook.

I can't remember the last time we saw a Sam/Patrick scene. I don't think they even talked alone when Jason was in the hospital. Interesting that of all the characters Sam could have talked to, they chose Patrick. Why not, I don't know, HER MOTHER?

Dear Delores, you know I love you, but you have to stop mentioning that you're Latina. It has nothing to do with anything. Also, Dante's a quarter Cuban, so he especially doesn't care.

Oh, goody. Reaction shots from animals. Something all TV shows need more of.

Yeah, Dante, you're a cop. You can't take money from a mobster. I don't care how "clean" it is.

Should I read anything into the fact that Kate went to Chicago, the same place where Abby died? Or can the writers just not think of any other big U.S. cities for characters to spend time?

You know what's annoying and a little offensive? Other than Olivia, no women on this show can cook.

December 28th, 2011

Robin accepts Jason's deal but wants him to see it through that night. Jason does wind up at the hospital, ready for an exam, but he leaves when he gets a lead on Franco. Robin starts to talk to Patrick but chickens out again. Michael confirms to Jason that Sam told him what happened in Hawaii, urging him to put aside his anger so he can comfort her. Carly wants Shawn to accept the dog because if he lets it into his life, he might let her in. He kisses her, but Carly can tell he still doesn't want a connection, so she announces she'll keep the dog and take Josslyn to the hotel for New Year's. Sonny confronts Johnny and Anthony about the hit on Jason, adding that he thinks they were behind the drugs in his warehouse. He mentions Abby's death, which leads Anthony to tell Johnny that they should use it to go after Michael again. He also urges Johnny to find another cop they can team up with. Johnny meets with Delores and tries to get her to open up, but it doesn't go so well. Dante tells Lulu she will always come first, and she tells him she'll support whatever relationship he wants to have with Sonny. Later, Dante returns Sonny's check. Michael tells Carly that he thinks he saw Jax in a New Zealand airport. They're trying to get us to like Maggie, but I'm not quite there yet.

How long are we going to do this Robin-starts-to-tell-Patrick-then-gets-interrupted thing?

My thought process: "So Carly's going to take the dog to the hotel? Does the hotel allow...oh, right, she runs the place." I'm a dork.

Two things Johnny and Anthony need to stop talking about forever: Claudia and orchids. Not necessarily in that order.

We get it. Maggie's a good doctor. Let's move on.

December 29th, 2011

Carly tries to dance around the possibility that Jax is alive so Michael will stop asking questions. Later, he eavesdrops when she tells Shawn that he probably isn't dead. Sonny wants to have a relationship with Dante, but Dante doesn't think they'll ever be able to get beyond cop and criminal. Sonny asks him to come to the Metro Court party for Michael's sake, and Dante agrees. In exchange, Sonny agrees to use the money he tried to give him for a good cause. Ethan's interest in Wyndemere has him obsessed and Alexis intrigued. On the island, Molly finds a photo album and a button that seems to belong to Ewen. Lulu tells Tracy she's married, and Tracy warns her about changing herself to be the wife Dante wants. Lulu doesn't think things are really over between Tracy and Luke, and encourages Tracy to go to the Metro Court on New Year's Eve to see him. Elizabeth runs into Ewen and has a sudden flash of the mystery guy saving her. Ewen tries to talk Shawn into keeping the dog.

Drink every time someone mentions Jax. You'll already be buzzed by New Year's Eve.

Michael, you certainly are your mother's son. And your father's. And your adoptive father's.

If I were a character on this show, I'd be very wary about a big gathering at the hotel. Especially since a) there's a serial killer on the loose and b) bad things always happen when a lot of people are gathered at hotels.

Alexis telling Ethan that any treasure he finds is mostly hers cracked me up.

December 30th, 2011

At the Metro Court New Year's Eve party, Michael he gives a toast that ends up blasting Carly for lying to everyone and not mentioning that Jax may be alive. Carly has to come clean about the missing yacht and activity in Jax's bank accounts. Sonny thinks she lied so he would have to take the blame, but she argues that it was so he couldn't kill Jax. Speak of the devil, he's on his way back to Port Charles to see Josslyn. Jason can't find Franco, so Sam begs him to come home so they can spend New Year's Eve together. On the way, he hits Michael on his motorcycle. Oh, and Sam's late. Robin and Patrick spend New Year's Eve at home. Spinelli tells Maxie he's been talking to a woman, which makes her jealous. She follows him to Kelly's, where they're supposed to have a date, and Spinelli uses the woman in white as inspiration for his totally-made-up date. Anthony, not Luke, sent Tracy the diamonds, and now he wants to marry her. Ethan waits outside Kelly's for the woman in white, so of course she only shows up after he leaves.

I can't believe I'm going to defend Carly, but she did want to keep Jax alive by not telling anyone he wasn't dead, so her keeping quiet (for once) was actually a good thing. Also, she never had proof, so everyone's really mad that she didn't tell them something might not be true.

Last year ended with people unconscious, so why not this year, too?

Spinelli, if you really want to make yourself look better, get your freaking hair cut, please.

The woman in white isn't doing a very good job of hiding if she's going to the most popular places in town.

Injured: Michael Corinthos, Jason Morgan

Week in review:
Funniest moment (intentional): Alexis telling Ethan that if he finds treasure in Wyndemere, "most of it" is hers
Funniest moment (unintentional): The realization that Robin missed all the drama at the party, so when Jax shows up, she's going to be really surprised
Saddest moment: Abby jokingly asked Michael to give her the Empire State Building, so he got her a necklace with an Empire State Building charm
Sweetest moment: Robin, Patrick, and Emma on New Year's Eve
Least believable moment: Sam is just now realizing she could be pregnant
Most annoying character: Let's just go with Sonny
Dumbest character: Michael, for walking out onto the highway without looking
Unanswered questions of the week: 1. Who did Kate go to Chicago to see?
2. Who killed Rosa?

December 31st, 2011

Next week: Michael continues to make horrible decisions.

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