General Hospital blog - December, 2017

December 1st, 2017

Diane conducts a Q&A session with Andre, who finally tells everyone about his memory-mapping procedure and its mystery backer. He also says that his sponsor specified that Drew receive Jason's memories, rather than the other way around, and that Andre was sent to Port Charles to keep an eye on Jason. He tries to argue that what he did was okay, because Alzheimer's is so horrible and he was trying to help people, but Sam awesomely shuts him down by telling him that no one feels sorry for or wants to forgive him. Finally, Andre reveals which Jason is which: Patient 6 is the real Jason, and the other one is Drew. Andre doesn't have proof, but Spinelli has already found a picture of Drew from the Navy, and points out to Jordan that she can access his fingerprints through the military's database. This confirms Andre's statement, though Drew takes a while to believe it, first accusing Sonny of arranging a complicated revenge on him for leaving the mob, then accusing Spinelli of manipulating things because...well, he can't think of a motive, but it doesn't matter, since Drew eventually comes around. So Jason, Carly, Sonny, and Spinelli are happy; Sam is torn but silent about the whole thing; and Drew is distressed that he (again) has no memories of his past. Julian surprises Ava, who becomes the first person happy that he's out of prison. Then Griffin shows up and things get really awkward, what with the fact that Griffin's dating the sister of the man who had his father killed. Ava refuses to choose between her brother and her boyfriend, but Griffin doesn't want her to. He also doesn't want to forgive Julian, or spend any time with him, ever. Ava promises that she'll find a way to keep the two men away from each other as much as possible. Alexis tells David how she did some unethical things to help Julian get a new trial, leading to his conditional release from Pentonville. Julian joins them, and the two pretend they're just friends, but Julian's not dumb enough to buy that. Alexis continues to keep a barrier between herself and Julian, and looks to be interested in continuing things with David. Julian tells David to treat Alexis well, and David chastises that Alexis can take care of herself and will speak up if she doesn't like how he treats her.

And so the journey of the S.S. Denial comes to an end. Now I have to retrain my brain and call the Jasons by their correct names.

For the record, this means Sam and Elizabeth have both reupped in the Slept With Siblings Club, and Elizabeth ties Nikolas' record for the most siblings slept with (she's been with all three of Alan's sons – A.J., Jason, and Drew).

I believe Andre already told Franco that the procedure wasn't reversible, but it's interesting that no one asked if Drew's memories can be restored.

Spinelli: "You're Drew." Drew: "You're making this up." Curtis: "Nah, man, you're Drew." Drew: "Yeah, I guess you're right." That was weird.

If Lulu does become an investigative reporter, she and Spinelli should work together. He'd be a huge help to her.

Oh, Griffin. Julian isn't the only Jerome who's a murderer. Why is Connie's death less significant than Duke's?

David, I love you! Please stay forever!

December 4th, 2017

Robin thinks Elizabeth should let Jason into Jake's life, though Elizabeth seems more concerned with how Franco and Jason will co-exist than with how her son will react to meeting his real father. She tells Robin how much she loves Franco, then makes a decision about their relationship. Meanwhile, Franco visits Andre, who encourages him to tell Elizabeth that he knew which twin was which so he won't have that secret hanging over his head. Before Franco can, Elizabeth tells him they should get married, and suddenly telling the truth doesn't seem so important. Alexis runs into Jason and asks him to keep his distance from Sam so she'll stay with Drew and be safe. Jason points out that he's never told Sam what to do before, and he's not about to start. Sam has already made her choice anyway, at least for the moment, as she tells Drew that she's staying with him. She fell in love with him because of who he is, not because of his name, and she's willing to give up the man she hasn't seen for five years. Alexis tries to urge her to stay away from Jason, which Sam notes is pretty funny after the decisions she's made about Julian. Sam then runs into Jason, who simply assures her that no matter what happens, things will be okay. Oscar and Josslyn proceed with the DNA test, which should give them answers in 24 hours. Oscar goes to the bridge, where Drew is brooding, but he doesn't say anything about their possible relationship. Nelle tries to endear herself to Michael by giving Josslyn an autographed picture of Shawn Mendes (I think) that it appears she signed herself.

Robin, I love you, but stay out of Elizabeth's life.

Ditto Alexis, re: Sam's life.

It would be funny if the potential Jason/Sam/Drew love triangle didn't get off the ground because neither guy wants to force Sam to make a decision.

Time to stop calling Drew "Sam's husband" – she's still legally married to Jason.

December 5th, 2017

Alexis tells Ned and Michael that Drew's existence means they have to redistribute ELQ stocks, which also means they can revote on the CEO. Ned thinks they should buy out both Jason and Drew, since Jason never had any interest in the company anyway, and Drew is barely connected to the family. Monica and Michael both shut him down, pointing out that Edward and Alan wouldn't appreciate that kind of thinking. Olivia sides with them, and Ned backs down. Monica and Olivia bicker over Olivia's choice of Christmas decorations at the house, but after Olivia stands up for Drew, Monica realizes how awesome she is. Lulu asks Peter for a job with Aurora, claiming that she's had a lifelong love of journalism. He's not that interested in taking a chance on her, but he promises to consider giving her a job if she can bring him a story he can't ignore. After talking with Maxie about the Man Landers explosion, Lulu decides to investigate who sold the news. Somehow, this leads to her and Maxie wearing Hazmat suits to the Invader, the publication that broke the news. Drew's trying to get used to using a different name, but he'll probably want to jettison it now that the Navy wants to arrest him for desertion. Amy's happy that Maxie and Nathan are having a baby, but she still suspects that Maxie was the person who sold the story. Nathan convinces her otherwise and asks her to be the baby's honorary aunt. Kim wants to do some genetic testing on the baby, which means she'll need Nathan's family's medical history. He asks Obrecht for it, and she secretly makes an urgent phone call to someone whose help she needs. Kim hears that the twins have been sorted and goes to talk to Drew about Oscar. He tells her that he ran into Oscar on the bridge, which makes her chicken out of whatever she was going to tell him.

Thank you, Monica, for reminding Ned that Drew's the reason the Quartermaines still have ELQ in the first place.

While I agree that Olivia's being a little forward, Monica should have said something if she wanted the decorations to be a certain way. Also, the house has, like, 30 rooms. They can put up more than one tree.

I, for one, can't wait to see Maxie scratch Nelle's eyes out. I'll bring popcorn.

When I said I wanted them to give Lulu funny stuff to do, I didn't mean with disguises.

I don't know why I found Nathan returning to Maxie and Lulu's empty table and wondering where his wife was as funny as I did.

December 6th, 2017

Nelle gets a job working as an elf at an ELQ-sponsored Christmas event where Curtis plays Santa. This gives her access to Michael, who's much nicer to her than she deserves. Carly warns her not to get too comfortable, but Nelle thinks her luck is about to turn around. Lulu and Maxie set off a stink bomb at the Invader's offices and pretend to be EPA employees checking out a chemical leak so they can search for the name of the source who outed Man Landers. They find a copy of the check Nelle received and realize she must have overheard the information at Crimson. They're arrested for the scheme, but Nathan manages to both get them released and somehow wrangle a trip to Cabo. Julian goes to the Quartermaines' to tell Olivia he wants time with Leo. At first she refuses and tells Julian that Ned will be Leo's father (Leo even calls him Dad). Then she gives in and lets Julian meet them at the park when they go see Santa. Back at home, Ned questions Olivia's decision, and she tearfully tells him that she's worried about repeating the mistakes she made with Dante and Sonny. Drew suspects that the Navy wants to take him to an undisclosed location and debrief him about things he doesn't remember. Since much of his military career is classified, he probably knew stuff he shouldn't tell anyone, and they could keep him away from his family for an extended period of time. Alexis quickly gets a temporary injunction and gets Jordan to agree that Drew shouldn't leave town, since he could lead them to Faison. Drew takes advantage of the brief pause to ask Nathan to help look after Sam and the kids, since he can't trust Sonny to do it. Carly and Sonny want to focus on their family and the holidays, but the Jason/Drew situation is hard to forget about.

Santa's black! Take that, Fox News!

Too bad Michael didn't take Danny to see Santa, too, since his parents were too busy to take him. Suggested plot: Danny recognizes Curtis, tells everyone he's not the real Santa, and incites a riot.

Julian, I still despise you, but thank you for making me laugh by calling Ned "Ted" like you used to.

Sam and the kids could be in danger, so Drew turns to...Nathan? Maybe he should have talked to Dante, since they're such good friends and all.

December 7th, 2017

Lulu and Maxie bust Nelle in front of Michael, and he tells her they're definitely over. In fact, he wants nothing to do with her at all, and is selling her building. Possibly trying out a Hail Mary pass, Nelle announces that she's pregnant with Michael's baby. Sam asks Jason to explain things to the Navy so they'll realize that Drew didn't desert willingly. By pointing the military toward Faison, it looks like Jason has secured his brother's freedom. Being stuck in lockup with Andre allows Drew to ask some questions and do some yelling. Andre thinks that Drew is afraid to find out who he used to be because it'll change the way he sees himself now. Drew asks if he'll be able to get his memories back, but Andre won't answer him. Franco proposes and gives Elizabeth a ring, so they're officially engaged. He again gets interrupted before he can tell her anything about Jason and Drew. Elizabeth chats with Kim about them, learning that Kim and Drew used to know each other. When Elizabeth reveals that she and Drew almost got married, Kim asks how she feels now that there's a twin up for grabs. Franco breaks in before he hears her true feelings and suggests that they get married right away. Sonny's curious about why Oscar is curious about Drew, but Oscar doesn't tell him anything. Josslyn and Oscar get the paternity-test results back, but Oscar hesitates before looking at them. Sonny and Jason appear to get a lead on finding Faison and burst through someone's door.

I want to disbelieve Nelle just on principle, but a) it would be an interesting plot twist, and b) didn't she say something yesterday about how Carly would make a good grandmother? That certainly could have been foreshadowing.

Why would the Navy listen to Jason, a career criminal, if they wouldn't listen to Andre?

Andre, no one cares what your work was SUPPOSED to do.

Ugh, we already did this maybe-Drew-doesn't-want-to-know-about-his-past plot. I don't want to sit through it again.

This is Elizabeth's, like, tenth engagement, so I have no confidence that it'll actually lead anywhere.

December 8th, 2017

Afraid that Jake will find out about his true paternity from someone other than them, Elizabeth and Drew give him the news. Jake takes it hard, unwilling to let go of the only father he remembers having. Sonny and Jason have managed to find Faison's latest hideout (which appears to be in Port Charles, or at least near it), but he's already split, leaving Britt behind. She says multiple times that she doesn't have any answers for them, but she does reveal that Faison didn't know Jason was alive until the skylight incident. He got mad because he'd been told Jason was dead and ranted about a traitor who double-crossed him. Sonny and Jason realize that Klein was working for someone else, and that he wanted to recapture Jason before the traitor found out he'd escaped the Russian clinic. Michael is smart enough not to buy Nelle's story, and he rushes her to Kim for a pregnancy test. Kim confirms the pregnancy, and Carly is the first to get the news that there's going to be a new Corinthos/Spencer/Quartermaine. Oscar wants to give Kim one more chance to tell him who his father is, since she could have kept it a secret for a reason. When he and Josslyn can't find her, he changes his mind and decides to look at the test results. Meanwhile, Kim goes back to the penthouse and tells Drew that he's Oscar's father. Sam thinks Franco is worried that Jason will tell Jake what Franco did to her. She also guesses that he wants to marry Elizabeth quickly (he's pushing for Christmas, but she doesn't want to rush it) so she won't ditch him for Jason. Carly makes her opinion on Franco and Elizabeth's engagement well-known while giving Kim a crash course in Jason and Drew.

Remember two years ago around this time when Brooklyn Silzer did that amazing emotional scene and I said she should get 100 Christmas presents? The same goes for Hudson West after this episode.

Drew and Elizabeth have already ruined Jake's Christmas; they might as well tell him Santa's not real.

Well, well, well, if it isn't my old nemesis the Britch, still as annoying as ever.

"Why would I lie about something that's so easy to prove?" Well, you've done it plenty of times before, Nelle, so...

Speaking of which: I'm still unsure of how trustworthy Kim is, and we didn't see her conversation with Nelle, so I'm still not 100% sure she's telling the truth about Nelle being pregnant.

December 11th, 2017

Kim tells Drew and Sam that she was unable to get in touch with Drew after she found out she was pregnant, so she never told him about Oscar. By the time she'd realized that he deserved to have his son in his life, Drew had disappeared. Kim was told he deserted, so she convinced herself that he wasn't the type of person she wanted around her child. Now, though, she wants Drew to be in Oscar's life, if he wants to be. Sam has the same attitude, encouraging Drew to start a relationship with Oscar from here, even though he can't make up for missing out on the first years of his son's life. Meanwhile, Oscar gets the paternity-test results, which confirm that Drew is his father. Like Drew, he's not sure how to react, and like Sam, Josslyn is very encouraging. Britt fills in a few more details for Sonny and Jason, telling them that she and her father spent the past month traveling to various financial capitals in Europe. Just after they arrived in Port Charles, he received a manuscript supposedly written by P.K. Sinclair (his pen name from the '80s), though Britt doesn't think he wrote it. He threw it in the fireplace, but Jason is able to recover part of it. He and Sonny think that Faison came to town to kill the traitor but wasn't successful. Jason wonders if Andre is able to restore Drew's memories, and if Drew might know who the traitor is. Carly demands that Nelle take a paternity test, and Michael can't exactly argue with that idea. Nelle gets all offended about the accusation that she slept with someone else, as if she's morally superior and has never done anything deceitful in her life. Anna thinks Andre had to have a big motive for his actions, and he tells her that he used to be married to a woman who has now forgotten him due to early-onset Alzheimer's. Anna's pretty sympathetic that he messed with people's lives while trying to help the love of his life. Jordan is much less sympathetic, since Andre never told her any of this. Finn tells Cassandra that he's having trouble finding support for his research developing a new painkiller that, oh, just happens to be super-addictive if administered incorrectly. She takes the bait, but Anna yells at him for moving his plan along after she told him to cut it out. She threatens to arrest him for interfering in her investigation, but he calls her bluff.

Do Oscar and Josslyn somehow have the healthiest relationship on this show?

"Is this a good thing or a bad thing?" Well, Oscar, being a Quartermaine means you're rich now, but it also means you're related to some real weirdos. So...good question.

The fact that the manuscript Faison received used his pen name from the '80s makes me wonder if the traitor is also from that time frame.

Of course Nelle isn't asking Michael for anything. She knows he'll offer her anything she needs without prompting.

Can we stop with men going to extremes to save their ailing wives? We did this with Finn already.

December 12th, 2017

Carly asks Bobbie to tamper with Nelle's paternity test so it doesn't name Michael as the baby's father. Bobbie points out that Michael would turn on her if he ever found out; plus, it wouldn't be fair to keep him from his child. Carly wonders if the whole situation is a karmic slap for her past sins. Meanwhile, Nelle gleefully tells Sonny about her pregnancy before Michael or Carly can. Finn plays Cassandra perfectly, pretending to be hesitant when she invites him to join up with her. When he tries to go back to his hotel room, he learns that someone checked him out and Carly had all this things (and Roxie) moved. Anna reveals that, since she's now responsible for his safety, she expects him to move in with her. Sonny tells Anna about the manuscript and Faison's visit to town. Anna is shaken by how close he was and tells him she can't get involved in his investigation. She also notices that the manuscript doesn't have an ending. Lulu and Nina are five times more civil to each other than they've been in the past, and are able to take Charlotte to see Santa together without fighting. Lulu realizes that Charlotte wrote her Christmas list on the back of something she found at Wyndemere: a ballot. Michael shares Nelle's pregnancy news with Dante, who thinks he'll be able to connect with Sonny on the issue, since Sonny's co-parenting a child with a woman he hates. Nelle and Nina catch up in a snarky way – Nelle reveals her pregnancy and taunts Nina for being unable to have children, and Nina blasts Nelle for being a tattletale and expresses sympathy for Michael. They booked Kelly Thiebaud for a third episode, so we get to see Britt and Nathan talking about babies and Obrecht. Laura is against the revitalization project ELQ is backing in the Charles Street area.

Okay, we can NEVER let Nelle and Cassandra meet.

I love when they give Dante scenes with his siblings. I especially like that, with Morgan gone, Michael still has a brother to talk to about his problems.

Yoooooo, are they finally going back to the election-fraud storyline from THREE YEARS AGO?

Maxie might have to get in line, because I think Nina's going to scratch Nelle's eyes out before she can.

December 13th, 2017

Though Ned thinks things between Drew and Jason will get worse before they get better, the brothers are able to have a civil, respectful conversation when Jason shares the latest developments in the Faison situation. He also mentions that he thinks Drew might have buried memories that can help them, though Drew isn't sure the life he's forgotten is still his. Kim tells Oscar a little about her past with Drew, assuring him that he has the right to get to know him, and even encouraging him to give the relationship a try. Oscar's worried about not connecting with Drew, or of being rejected. That probably won't be an issue, since Drew makes the first move to connect with him. Sam tells Monica about Oscar's paternity and how much Drew's life has been turned upside down in just the past few days. Monica: "I counted the number of times you've mentioned Jason in the past ten minutes, and that number is zero." Sam insists over and over that she's fine, but Monica can see through her denial. She thinks Sam knew immediately that Patient 6 was Jason, and she's afraid to do anything that might disrupt her life. Sam confides that her feelings for Drew haven't changed at all, so she didn't choose him out of pity or complacence. However, she's clearly avoiding Jason, and Monica knows that can't go on much longer. Jason appears to agree, and when he runs into Sam on the docks, he asks her to stick around and talk to him. Nelle may have said she doesn't want anything from Michael, but she definitely does – either he takes care of her financially, on top of paying for the baby's needs, or she might leave town. Sonny and Carly don't see any problem with that scenario, but Michael thinks he can work something out. Sonny has a plan B just in case, and though he doesn't say it outright, it probably involves Nelle's body at the bottom of the harbor. Ava seems to have her eye on Nelle as a way to get more time with Avery, and the idea of the two of them teaming up in any way, shape, or form sends a chill down my spine. Monica's happy enough to have Jason back, happier to have Drew as a surprise new grandson, and stunned that the good news keeps coming when Michael announces that he's going to be a father. Ned needs to find something to do other than worry about ELQ. Julian and Ava talk about...something.

I was waiting for a Jason/Drew scene, but today's weren't satisfying. They need to talk about the elephant in the room.

"What if he doesn't like me?" Someone give Oscar a hug.

There can't be anyone left who likes Nelle, right?

Remember yesterday, when I said that Nelle and Cassandra should never have an encounter? Nelle and Ava is SO MUCH WORSE.

Does Ned ever talk about anything other than ELQ? How does Olivia put up with it?

December 14th, 2017

Sam and Jason make some awkward conversation, trying to keep their distance from each other and stay stoic. But Sam gets emotional when she tells Jason how difficult it was for her to believe he was dead. When they start talking about Drew, Sam realizes that her wedding ring came from Jason, not Drew. Monica accuses Kim of moving to Port Charles to take advantage of Oscar's newfound family's wealth. Kim admits that she found DNA matches in Port Charles through an ancestry website, but she says she didn't know Oscar was a Quartermaine; she just thought Drew might be there. She doesn't want anything from the family, and she's not going to pressure Oscar into getting to know them if he doesn't want to. Monica calms down and tells her to let Oscar know that he's welcome if he wants to get to know the Qs. He probably won't, since he's suddenly resistant about developing a relationship with Drew. Anna tells Finn he can move out if he tells Cassandra he won't work with her. Instead, Finn accepts her offer. The fake couple fights about who's more lonely and miserable, and Anna claims that Finn wants her. She's probably right, since they're soon making out. Lulu comes up with an excuse to go to Wyndemere so she can look for more ballots. Nina finds a bag full of them but doesn't want to let Lulu take them from the house. Lulu wonders if she's worried that Valentin fixed the election. Nina points out that back in 2014, Nikolas was the Cassadine who lived there, so Lulu's the one who should be worried. She ultimately lets Lulu take the ballots (and confirms that Valentin knows nothing about the election fraud), but Lulu's not sure she should report on the story. Kevin and Laura are getting married on Christmas. Valentin reminds Cassandra that he's keeping his work and family separate, even if it means they have to meet in public. He asks to speak to Claudette, and though Cassandra turns down his request, she says she'll make sure that Claudette never tells anyone what he did to her.

For once, someone's move to the town where a long-lost relative lives wasn't a coincidence.

Anna and Finn: (fighting). Me: "Kiss. Kiss. Kiss... Oh, hey, they kissed!"

Didn't Jordan know about the election tampering? Why didn't she say something after she was outed as a DEA agent, and especially when she became commissioner?

"I wasn't following local politics at the time." Yeah, she was too busy kidnapping Avery and fleeing the country.

Where were those ballots stashed so that Charlotte found them but they stayed hidden for three years?

December 15th, 2017

Elizabeth confronts Andre for his actions, especially with regard to Jake. When she brings up Franco, it looks like Andre's about to tell her about Franco's secrets, but he doesn't. Kiki is only allowed to have two conversations – encouraging Ava and bucking up Franco – and in this episode, she deploys the latter. Franco decides it's finally time to tell Elizabeth what he knew about Jason and Drew. Drew asks Alexis for help sorting through all the legal entanglements that come with his newly discovered identity. Alexis thinks it's more important to talk about the fact that Drew and Sam aren't legally married. Sam tries to give Jason back her wedding ring, but he tells her to give it to Danny in case he ever wants to propose to someone. He rants about Faison and the mess he's caused, thinking more about the past than the future. When Drew and Sam meet up, they decide to give both their wedding rings to Danny, since they're symbolic of a marriage that isn't theirs. Drew still means the vows he made, though, and he wants to marry Sam for real. Just before he's taken off to prison, Andre tells Jason that the baselines for his and Drew's memories are in a Christmas ornament he gave Anna, though she knows nothing about it. Anna and Finn's makeout session gets interrupted, and then they decide to just not talk about it. It's awkward. Julian gets a deus ex machina when the DA decides not to retry him and instead just lets him go. Julian quickly buys a pub called Charlie's, then runs into Alexis there.

Why would Elizabeth listen to Andre about whether Jake is fit to deal with new crises in his life? Any coping mechanisms he has came from a criminal.

Santa, please bring Kiki a plot.

LOL at Drew thinking Alexis would want Sam to go back to Jason.

Am I wrong or did Sam all but say that she's not going to tell Danny the truth about his paternity?

No one's pointed out that not only are Sam and Drew not legally married, but she's still married to Jason.

December 18th, 2017

Franco tells Elizabeth that he knew Drew was alive before anyone else did, and that Andre told him which twin was which before the news came out. Elizabeth is frustrated that he kept secrets again, but Franco thinks he's justified since Jason hates him and could turn Elizabeth against him. He also doesn't want Jake to find out what he did in the past. Elizabeth is willing to let this all go, as long as Franco doesn't keep any more secrets. He imagines telling her about trying to kill Drew as a kid, and his vision of her horrible reaction makes him decide to keep it quiet. Jason tells Anna that he needs an ornament Andre gave her, but she accidentally donated it for a community tree, and when she goes to retrieve it, it's gone. Jason doesn't think it's a coincidence that the one small ornament he needs has been taken. Oscar thinks he and Drew should cut their losses, but Drew convinces him to give getting to know each other another try. Things go better this time, even though Drew can't answer any questions about his past. Carly tells Sam that she chose between her husbands too quickly; she obviously still loves Jason, and staying with Drew isn't going to make anyone happy. She admits that she's rooting for Jason to get what he wants, but she's not Team Jasam or Team Dream – she's Team Sam. Sam claims that marrying Drew for real would just be a formality, but after talking to Carly, she wants to make the commitment. Now Drew is hesitant, wanting to wait until he knows who he is. Jason thinks that since they're so different, Drew already remembers more than he realizes. Jordan feels foolish for falling for a guy who was a criminal the whole time. Lulu and Maxie are the filler, but at least they're using that dead space to organize a food drive.

Will there ever be a day when Franco doesn't make a situation all about himself? Probably not.

I need Michael to have a come-to-Jesus conversation with Elizabeth about dumping a habitual liar.

Why would Jason call Robin for Anna's contact info? He went to her house a couple weeks ago, and he could get her phone number from Sonny. How pointless.

Jason's going to ask Drew to undergo "the procedure," but is there someone who can do it? Do they even know what that procedure entails?

Hey, Carly, you can complain about Sam's lack of sympathy for Jason and her overconcern for Drew when you've spent two minutes showing ANY concern for Drew.

December 19th, 2017

Jason goes by the penthouse to catch Drew and Sam up on the missing ornament. Things turn awkward when Danny makes an appearance, and Drew announces that they need to tell him the truth about his paternity. Danny handles it really well and seems to get that both men love him and he doesn't have to choose one over the other. Drew's disappointed that he doesn't have anything to offer his family, since he doesn't know anything about himself, but Sam assures him that that's not important. Also, she's ready to get remarried, and she even proposes to make her point. Britt can gain her freedom if she turns on her father, but Obrecht warns her not to – not because of her loyalty to Faison, necessarily, but because he'll go after Britt for betraying him. Nathan's smart enough to know that Victor may not be his biological father, questioning Obrecht's claims even after she gives him what are supposedly Victor's medical records. Griffin's upset that Julian won't be retried, and though he still says he won't make Ava choose between them, he's obviously not happy that she still wants her brother around. Stella has moved to Charles Street, though she's not sure she'll be able to stay, since the area is probably going to be gentrified soon. Curtis buys her a piece of art that's supposed to be half of a set, and Jordan unknowingly buys her the other half. Stella, who apparently is really eight years old, says she doesn't need two matching pieces, so she'll return Jordan's and donate the money to charity. Alexis runs into Julian while she's with Danny, and she lets the two chat for a little while. Julian sticks to his "I'm not going to put any pressure on you" routine, but he also indicates that he's going to ask Santa for his wife back. Dillon's off working on some movie, and he won't be home for Christmas, which, for some reason, makes Kiki start questioning all her life decisions. Griffin talks her down.

If I had a nickel for every time my husband came to the place we used to live together, but he was there to see his long-lost twin brother instead of me...

Do you think Alexis bought Danny a cookie as a bribe to keep quiet about running into Julian? If so, it worked; he didn't mention it.

Aren't we done with Britt yet?

Well, I got my Christmas present: Nathan's abs.

Jordan, don't buy art from a murderer.

December 20th, 2017

Lomax holds a town hall at Julian's new place, Charlie's, to present her idea for gentrification. Ned wants ELQ to head the project, since at least they're trustworthy and someone else could do something insidious. Michael's hesitant, and even more so after the town hall, where T.J. and Laura both give arguments against driving out people who have lived in the Charles Street area for years and would no longer be able to afford to stay there. Lulu tells Peter about the possibly stolen election, then takes the ballots to Dante. They decide they need to report them to the proper authorities so the people of Port Charles know what really happened. Nathan notices that "Victor's" medical records don't show that he was ever tested for beta thalassemia, as any Cassadine would. Obrecht plays innocent, but Nathan's still suspicious and asks Griffin to look over the records. Michael tells Nelle he's not going to let her freeload off of him, so she goes to Ava for a job. Ava immediately hires her as I whisper, "No! NO!" over and over. Felicia tries to ease some of Maxie's fears about motherhood. Molly is annoyed that Julian keeps popping up, and she's pretty sure Alexis only showed up at the town hall she clearly forget about because she thought Julian might be there. Julian finds Griffin's pick-and-choose approach to forgiveness very interesting. Kevin and Laura ask Dante and Lulu to be their best man and matron of honor, even though it's apparently Christmas Eve and the wedding is the next day.

I feel like this story's going to end with Laura running for mayor.

Loved Alexis' "that's my daughter" face after Molly called out Lomax for deflecting.

That Cassadine/beta thalassemia reference was some smart continuity.

Ava and Nelle working together is the real nightmare before Christmas.

Julian: (is a jerk to everyone) "I don't understand why no one likes me."

Only on soaps do people wait until the day before their wedding to pick their attendants.

December 21st, 2017

It's suddenly Christmas, which means it's also Laura and Kevin's wedding day, though Maxie thinks they've jinxed themselves by seeing each other before the ceremony. They brush off her concerns, but then a snowstorm keeps Lucky and Spencer from getting to town, and the minister's wife goes into labor. Fortunately, the Christmas miracle they hoped for arrives at the last minute. (Spoiler: It's Lesley, who we know from Laura's last wedding is ordained.) Jason has a really bad Christmas: He has to ask Josslyn to buy a present for Jake, since Jason doesn't know what to get him; Jake refuses to talk to him when he goes to deliver it; and when he goes to the penthouse to see Danny, he instead has to learn that Drew's present to Sam was a new engagement ring. Oscar's nervous about spending the holiday with the Quartermaines, confiding to Sam that it feels like he's closing a chapter in his life. Sam can relate, since she's also putting her past behind her and moving forward. Josslyn gives Oscar a book about (by?) Edward so he can learn more about his new family. He gives her a mix CD, a Discman, and a kiss. Ned really, really needs to stop worrying about Quartermaine interlopers. Olivia points out that he welcomed Leo into his life, so he can shut up about Oscar being an outsider and not having loyalty to the family. Ned and Oscar end up bonding over music, so maybe now he'll calm down. Franco gets a Christmas card from Betsy, who asks him to forgive her for making him feel guilty. Elizabeth is confused about what that means.

"Lucas left very early to go pick up Lucky and Spencer from the airport" was exactly the moment I knew none of the three of them would be making an appearance at the wedding.

The scene where Jason didn't know about Frozen made me laugh more than it should have. Back when Drew came to town, I thought they should have made more of an issue of the fact that he was frozen for two years. I figured the best/most ironic way to do that would be for someone to mention Frozen and have him not know what it was.

Jason didn't know what to get Jake, so he asked...Josslyn? Really?

A Discman is "retro." I feel so old.

Ned. Chill. Seriously.

Scout is too cute! Ned, go play with Scout. That'll calm you down.

December 22nd, 2017

Lesley has only made it to the wedding because she and her Italian stormchaser boyfriend Marcello were able to rent an ATV and traverse icy roads that the police are now closing down. Marcello offers to marry Laura and Kevin, and though he only speaks Italian, the wedding goes fine. Michael wants to know how he became a Corinthos, so Sonny, Carly, and Jason tell him the whole sordid tale. Carly can see parallels between her past and Nelle's present, but Jason thinks Nelle is worse. Nelle shows up at the Corinthoses' all Poor Little Match Girl and collapses, claiming she walked through the snow because she couldn't get anywhere else. The Corinthoses' reluctantly take her in, and Carly resolves to stay united so Nelle can't beat them. Molly and T.J. try to host Christmas dinner for their families, but their power and heat go out. They take refuge at Charlie's, along with Julian, Ava, and Griffin. Everyone's fighting, so Molly and T.J. try to escape and help out at a homeless shelter. They come back looking for reinforcements, since the shelter's full, and Julian decides to open the pub to the needy.

I would watch a spin-off starring Lesley and Marcello.

Why were Maxie and Nathan at the wedding, other than so Maxie could be superstitious and freak out?

There's no way Michael didn't already know the story of the mess surrounding his childhood.

Is this the first time we've seen a picture of Thomas Sr.? I'm still not convinced he's dead.

December 26th, 2017

Lulu's article about the ballots results in the Board of Elections verifying that Lomax wasn't legitimately elected. Lulu worries that further investigation will show that Nikolas was involved, and his already tarnished legacy will be destroyed even further. Dante advises her to do nothing, since she's not obligated to provide any further information. Lulu goes to Peter for the job he promised her, but he wants a follow-up article, telling her to jump on the scoop she got from being at the PCPD and learning that Lomax didn't really win the election. Even though the baby's healthy and he's done everything he can to provide Kim with his parents' medical records, Nathan is still worried that something will be wrong. He also wishes that he could find out if Victor really was his father, but without a DNA sample, he's stuck. Maxie realizes that there's another Cassadine whose DNA they can test, so she nabs a few of Valentin's hairs. Peter wants to publish a story about the Jason/Sam/Drew situation. Sam refuses, but she realizes that he has a point that press coverage could reach someone who can tell them about Drew's life. She goes to see Kim, who isn't much help but does know that Drew went to high school in upstate New York and at one point was stationed somewhere cold with a view of the night sky. Later, Kim loans Drew the mix CD he made her so he can find out if the songs on it trigger any memories. Anna wants to teach Finn self-defense in case things with Cassandra turn dangerous. Finn thinks he'll be fine, since he can just pretend he wants to kiss Cassandra, then use her carotid to make her collapse. The fake couple doesn't want to admit their real feelings for each other, and they still don't want to talk about their makeout session the other night. Sonny tries to smooth things over with Drew, even though both of them know they'll never have the same relationship Sonny has with Jason. Cassandra gives Charlotte a Christmas present like there's no hostility between her, Nina, and Valentin. Nina practically rips Cassandra's hair out while warning her to stay away.

My notes literally one scene before Maxie did her thing: "If Nathan wants to know if he's a Cassadine, he should compare a DNA sample to Valentin's DNA and see if there's a family match." Maxie and I are on the same wavelength. I should probably be scared.

Drew's military records don't say anything about his pre-Navy life? They don't mention where he went to high school? Weird.

Drew, stop apologizing to Sonny! He should be apologizing to you!

Charlotte didn't spend Christmas with Valentin and Nina, but she also wasn't at the wedding, so...where was she?

I guess Jordan has blocked out the memory of her part in the election fraud.

December 27th, 2017

Anna sends Finn to a meeting in Cassandra's room with a bug for her phone. She tries to listen in through Finn's phone, but Cassandra makes him hang up. Anna then gets distracted by Felicia, who thinks she's really in love with her fake boyfriend. Lomax is indicted but can't be forced to step down, since she's an elected official (though...she wasn't legitimately elected, so I don't get it). Alexis finds a clause in the town charter that says Lomax's salary can be withheld while she's undergoing investigation for a felony. As soon as she hears that she won't get any money for the job she otherwise doesn't care about, Lomax resigns. Meanwhile, Stella tells Laura (now Laura Collins) that the Christmas power outage was the result of a conspiracy between Lomax, a crooked landlord, and other Lomax minions. Laura is willing to forgo her honeymoon to fight for justice, or at least accompany Stella to the police station to file a complaint on the way to the airport. When news comes out that Lomax has resigned, and Felicia says she doesn't want the job anymore, Kevin nominates Laura to run for mayor. Kiki and Griffin have been privately chatting about something, and Ava's suspicious. Griffin turns down her present, an expensive watch, because he doesn't like material things, but he's still not as classless as Ava when she turns down Kiki's gift of a scarf, thinking Kiki's giving her something to hide her scars. Things move along quickly with Cassandra and Finn's deal, when she agrees to let him tour her factory (not a euphemism), then tries to seduce him (also not a euphemism). Nathan tries to get Obrecht to admit that she lied about Victor being his father, but she won't break. Maxie convinces Amy to run a DNA test to see if Nathan and Valentin are related.

There's such a thing as a waffle stand? Finn, take me to the waffle stand!

Even if I bought that Kiki was fooling around with Griffin, which I don't, I could never believe that super-moral Griffin would cheat on Ava.

Maxie, re: Obrecht: "I was going to go with squirrelly." Amy: "That's really unfair to squirrels." Hee.

Cuckoo woman gifts cuckoo clock – news at 11. (Story by Lulu.)

December 28th, 2017

Anna uses the bug in Cassandra's phone to listen in on a conversation with someone from her factory, then figure out where it's located. The WSB sends in a team to raid the place and bring down Cassandra's organization. After a brief celebration over their success, Anna and Finn realize they no longer have an excuse to spend time together. Cassandra tells Valentin that he needs to kill Sonny, then come to the factory with her so they can start working on the new drugs. Valentin keeps resisting, so Cassandra basically says she'll kidnap him and make him tag along. He breaks her phone, and when her driver, Eric, retrieves it, he finds Finn's bug. Cassandra thinks Valentin placed it and has Eric pull a gun on him. Jason wants to go to Russia and look for more information on Faison. Sonny thinks he's running away so he doesn't have to face Sam. Sam and Drew have rented out the Haunted Star for just themselves for New Year's Eve. Maxie picks out two dresses for Sam to choose from, then gives her a new coat and takes her leather jacket. Carly schemes to get Sam and Jason together for New Year's Eve, but I'm not sure she thought things through all the way. Lulu asks Peter for another story, and he suggests that she write about the Jason/Drew mess, but from a different angle. Basically, he thinks she should track down Faison. Michael asks Monica to examine Nelle, who's annoyed that people keep judging her. Monica's like, "Been there, done that, and 20 years before you were born." Michael and Drew are able to laugh a little over their surprise children. For the record, Nina saw Maxie snag some of Valentin's hair, but when she tells Nathan, he doesn't seem mad about it.

Carly: "I've evolved." (two minutes later) "Be right back, I need to go manipulate some stuff." Is it called evolving if you go backwards?

Unless Carly, like, destroyed Drew's car or something, he's just going to show up at the Haunted Star, too. What makes Carly think that Sam and Jason are going to have any time alone?

I'm not about to say definitively that Sam has made the right decision – as of right now, I'm okay either way – but everyone else needs to shut up about whether or not she's really happy. She's an adult. If she made the wrong choice, she'll figure it out. Leave her alone.

I'm impressed (and surprised) that the writers put Laura Wright and Wes Ramsey in a scene together and didn't give them a cutesy, wink-wink moment.

"Maybe he stopped for a crime spree." I heart Nathan.

December 29th, 2017

The Haunted Star is on autopilot, and Sam and Jason disable it a few miles out from the dock, so they'll have to wait a few hours before they're rescued. They figure out pretty easily that Carly was responsible for the setup, and that she's trying to get Sam to rethink her decision. Instead of talking, the two break out some dominoes and tequila. At midnight, there are fireworks, flashbacks, longing looks, and a kiss. Cassandra takes Valentin somewhere so Eric can beat him up until he admits to bugging her phone. Valentin convinces her that he's innocent, but when she learns that her factory has been seized, she confirms that she's been double-crossed. She figures out that Finn and Anna were responsible and makes plans to kill the two of them, then Valentin. Finn passive-aggressively announces he's leaving Anna's house, and she passive-aggressively comes up with reasons for him to stay for a while. Finally, they admit that they want to spend the evening together (romance is implied). Finn leaves to get flowers, and when he returns, Anna's gone and Cassandra's there, ready to get revenge. Drew's car won't work, thanks to some interference from one of Carly's bartenders, so Kim offers to drive him to the Haunted Star. Along the way they get stuck in traffic and pass the time listening to the mix CD Drew made 15 years ago. Dante asks Lulu what she wants to write about next, but she keeps mum. She then casually tries to find out if Sonny has made any progress in locating Faison. He and Dante are all, "After you," but neither will share any information. Dante's a good enough detective that he knows this is what Lulu's pursuing, and he worries that she'll put herself in danger. Lulu says he can't disapprove since he has a risky job, too. They bicker a little but make up at midnight. Nina's a mixture of worried, annoyed, and upset that she's spending her and Valentin's first anniversary alone. Sonny pretends to be annoyed that Carly messed with Sam and Jason, but we all know he secretly approves.

So I guess Sam and Jason will eventually get back together, and Drew and Kim will reunite? I really think I'd be fine with whoever Sam ends up with, but I like that arrangement. Kim and Drew would be cute together.

Aw, man, we didn't get to see Sam drunk. I love Drunk Sam.

I totally forgot that Valentin and Nina got married on New Year's Eve. P.S. I also don't care.

It's begrudging, but I have to give Valentin some credit for not trying to save himself by ratting out Finn.

Back to the main page