General Hospital blog - February, 2014

February 1st, 2014

Next week: The cemetery really needs better security.

February 3rd, 2014

Robin is a little slow on the uptake about Victor wants her to do (again, he wants her to resurrect Helena and Stavros). Mac accidentally interrupts their conversation to deliver a goodbye present from Robert – a frog necklace for good luck. It may actually work, since Victor claims that there's a third person in need of reviving: Jason. Elizabeth backtracks what she said about the baby, telling Emma that she jumped to the wrong conclusion. Emma tells Sabrina that if the baby really is Patrick's, she can admit it, because Emma won't hate the baby like she was going to hate Ben. Sabrina realizes that she's become a liar and, amazingly, tells Patrick the truth. Heather moves Carly to the catacombs, so all Nikolas finds in the stable is her knife. He doesn't know where it came from, but he knows it's not his. Heather wanders around looking for another weapon while Carly tries to free herself. Franco tells Kiki that he killed Heather and buried the knife with her. Then he asks her to help him escape the police station so he can find Carly. Kiki runs out of the room ranting about him, then passes out (or, more likely, pretends to pass out). While Dante and Nathan are distracted tending to her, Franco attempts to escape. Dante pulls a gun on him and gives chase, but even that doesn't stop him. The writers are just messing with us, because Ben's rash is just from an allergy to latex and some fruits. Lulu tells Nikolas that Dante has the same allergy. What a coincidence! Dante finds the card from Heather's dead flowers, but since Heather's supposedly locked up, he doesn't consider her a suspect. Britt and Patrick finally make up.

Apologies to my neighbors, who I'm sure heard me literally yell, "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!" at my TV after that last scene. Also, I wanted it to be Georgie. Also also, if Jason ever does come back, it ain't gonna be Steve Burton.

Emma asking, "Who's that baby's daddy?" reminds me of my oldest niece when her first sister was born. She kept asking my brother and sister-in-law, "Who's that baby's mommy?" She didn't quite like that the answer was, "Yours."

The people who monitor search-engine traffic are probably wondering why so many people are looking up Latex-Fruit Syndrome. (It exists, by the way.) And thank God it was that and not a deadly illness. You dodged a bullet this time, Ben!

Suddenly Dante's a good cop. Maybe it's the latex.

Carly's been wearing heels this whole time? Poor woman.

February 4th, 2014

Even with a gunshot wound in his shoulder, Franco makes it out of the PCPD and to the cemetery. He digs up the sheet he buried Heather in, but in her place he finds a note (written in her blood) that says, "You're going to pay for this." Meanwhile, Heather takes her sweet time getting another knife from the Metro Court. Olivia sees her, and though she isn't sure if it's a vision or not, she tells Dante. Dante "confirms" that Heather's still at the institute, which just makes Olivia wonder what her "vision" meant. Victor tells Robin that Faison had people in a boat retrieve Jason from the harbor and take him to the Swiss clinic. Robin demands proof, and though Victor promises that it will come eventually, he won't give any now. Dante and Nathan lay into Kiki for helping Franco escape, but she won't tell them anything. For her troubles, she gets locked up across from her father. Patrick is less than pleased that Sabrina lied to him about the baby. Julian wants to help Silas in hopes that helping to clear him will make Sam like him again. Alexis convinces Sam to give Silas a chance to explain why he didn't tell her about Nina's will.

I think I'm going to start carrying paper with me wherever I go, just in case I find myself in a situation where I need to write a note in my own blood.

Why does Robin think that the WSB is behind Jason's (alleged) freezing? Hello! Cassadines! That's what they do! Oh, and great hiding place for that picture. I'm sure no one will MOVE THE MAGAZINES.

By 2020, everyone on this show will have been to that Swiss clinic.

Here's a reason for Silas not to have said anything about Nina's will: BECAUSE HE'S INNOCENT. Geez, I'm more sure about his innocence than his own girlfriend is.

February 5th, 2014

Thanks to Heather's delay by Victor, Carly's able to free herself and attack Heather. There's some fighting, some slamming of heads into things, and other shenanigans, but the support beams in the tunnel aren't as strong as they should be, and both women end up unconscious under a pile of rubble. The other people in the house just think there was an earthquake. Nikolas tells Elizabeth that Brad isn't Ben's father, and that Britt took sperm from the hospital's stash. Elizabeth points out that that's both unethical and illegal. She learns about Ben's allergy and points out that he could have inherited it from his birth father, but they can't know because the father's identity is unknown. When Lucas shows up with Dante's prescription for the exact same medicine, Elizabeth starts to put things together. Mrs. Partridge A widow visiting the cemetery spots Franco, who tries to pass himself off as a gravedigger. Unlike Tina last week, she recognizes him and tells the police where to find him. The police forget to be stealthy, so Franco gets away, but they do find the sheet Heather was buried in and her bloody note. Patrick tells Robin that he's the baby's father, so now they can feel lost together. He also finds the picture of Jason, but she's able to convince him that she was just mourning. Obrecht tries to blackmail Britt to make Nikolas let her live at Wyndemere. When Victor shows up to see his grandnephew, Obrecht gets a little panicky. It turns out they have a history, and he wants to revisit it. Obrecht decides that Wyndemere isn't a great place to live after all. Lucas wants to see Brad again and is disappointed that he's already set up a second date with Felix. When Lulu mentions refilling Dante's prescription at the hospital, Lucas jumps at the chance to go to Brad's place of work. Felix ends up canceling the date to be with Sabrina, so it's Lucas' lucky night.

"I'm sure that was just an earthquake." Nikolas, don't make me put you on the dumb list this week.

Hey, police? Maybe stop with the lights and sirens when you're going after a fugitive. I can put all of you on the dumb list....

Clearly I've been watching too much Dexter because when Franco said "ice road trucker," I heard "Ice Truck Killer."

If Victor always makes Obrecht clam up and leave the scene, I'm totally fine with him sticking around.

Speaking of them, I guess his claims about Jason being alive are true – otherwise she wouldn't have mentioned him when they were alone.

Elizabeth! Get your Veronica Mars on! If you end this plotline, I will go a whole week without saying anything mean about you.

February 6th, 2014

Elizabeth shares her theory with Felix that Dante is Ben's father. She wants to nab something of Ben's from Spoon Island and run a paternity test. Felix isn't sure he wants to participate in her scheme, since it would mean exposing Brad as well. Elizabeth changes his mind, then goes to Wyndemere to pretend to apologize to Britt. While she's stealing a hairbrush Victor gave Ben, Felix lucks into a water bottle Dante drank from. To the lab! Victor shows Robin proof (or what he says is proof) that Jason's alive and urges her to agree to go with him to do all that resurrecting. Of course, she'll have to come up with a cover story for her family. Spencer stops by the Drake home to give Emma a Faberge egg Victor gave him, and spots Robin and Victor together. Michael is understandably upset with Kiki for helping Franco escape. She tells him that she suspects Heather, but she can't explain everything, so he isn't swayed. Carlos and Julian reconnect and talk fatherhood. Later, Lucas runs into his father, agrees to chat, and comes out to him. The police find blond hair on the sheet Franco dug up, which is another reason to think that Carly was buried in the grave. Lulu finally goes back home. Brad hooks up with Lucas again and is rewarded with a half-naked selfie. Patrick and Sabrina are back on good terms.

I'm sure I haven't said this since she was a teenager dating Lucky, and I never thought I would say it at all, but how fun would it be to be Elizabeth right now?

Lulu drank out of that water bottle, too, right? Because Elizabeth and Felix only have half of this worked out, but if they get both parents' DNA at once, they might solve this whole thing.

For people who are worried about Carly, these guys sure are having a lot of sex/focusing on their relationship issues/trying to uncover paternity schemes.

Wasn't there some dumb plot decades ago with Faberge eggs?

February 7th, 2014

Heather regains consciousness and discovers that Carly isn't breathing. Since she wants Carly's death to go the way she planned, she revives Carly, then plans to stab her. Franco disguises himself as a bellhop, goes to the Metro Court, and asks Scott to help him find out if Heather's at the institute. Then Nathan shows up and ruins all the fun. After spending the episode telling Michael that he's starting to remember the night of Connie's murder, A.J. finally, FINALLY recalls seeing Ava there. Julian's in denial about Lucas' sexuality, but Lucas notes that his being a criminal is much worse. A copy of Nina's will finds its way to Nathan's mailbox, conveniently sent by an anonymous source. Sam and Alexis confront Ava about it, but she continues to deny any involvement. Sonny moves his coffee business into Connie's old office while Morgan goes all emo over breaking up with Ava. Kiki reluctantly accepts Ava's help, since Michael sure isn't going to help her.

"How dare you die! I'm supposed to kill you!" Heather, you so crazy.

If we're going to wrap anything up, can it be the A.J./Connie thing? That's been going on FOREVER.

Julian, if you knew the sort of crap Tony pulled, you'd object to being compared to him.

Sonny's going to work in the office where Connie died? Zuh?

Arrested: Kiki Jerome
Injured: Robert "Franco" Frank

Week in review:
Funniest moment (intentional): Obrecht, re: stuffed animal: "It's anatomically incorrect" (that has to be the first time she's made me laugh)
Funniest moment (unintentional): Dante saying there's only one way to find out if the hair sample is Carly's, followed by a cut to Felix saying, "A DNA test?"
Saddest moment: N/A
Sweetest/cutest moment: Emma will love Sabrina's baby because she loves Sabrina
Least believable moment: Heather slammed Carly's head into a hard object multiple times, but Carly doesn't appear to have any brain damage
Best instance of continuity: The freaking Cassadines and their freaking Faberge eggs
Worst instance of continuity: Elizabeth hates Britt because she pulled the same paternity trick on Patrick that Elizabeth has pulled THREE TIMES. (I get if she hates Britt for other reasons, but come on. That's too hypocritical even for Elizabeth.) And yet...
Hero of the week: Elizabeth
Most annoying character: I'll just go with Ava
Smartest character: Elizabeth
Dumbest character: Kiki
Previously unanswered question now answered: The WSB cleared Obrecht because she gave Victor information about Stavros and Helena.
Things we learned this week: 1. Dante's allergic to latex.
2. Jason isn't dead.
3. Victor and Obrecht have a history.
4. Lucas played football in college.
Best/most memorable moments of the week: 1. Victor showing Jason's picture to Robin
2. Elizabeth and Felix gleefully collecting everything they need to bring Britt down

The week in a nutshell:

February 8th, 2014

Next week: Enjoy Valentine's Day while you can, Britt, 'cause you're about to go DOWN.

February 10th, 2014

Franco convinces Scott to look into Heather's recent whereabouts, so Scott plans to visit the institute and meet up with Franco in the park. While Scott's discovering just how awful Luke looks in a wig, Victor sees Heather's picture in the paper, in an article about Carly's disappearance, and remembers meeting her on Spoon Island. He questions the kids, who confirm that she's the woman they saw in the stables. Franco overhears and questions the kids as well, learning that Heather and Carly are probably at Wyndemere. The inspector Nikolas hired to check out the tunnel finds Heather and Carly, but Heather dispatches him with her knife. Carly successfully buys herself some more time by pointing out that Heather's plan calls for her to have been killed days ago, so her time of death won't match up to Heather's design. Plus, Franco's been in lockup, so Heather won't be able to frame him. While Heather gets rid of the inspector's body and tries to come up with a new idea, Franco finds Carly. Robin meets Danny, and it's enough to make her decide to accept Victor's offer. A.J. tries to tell Elizabeth that he remembered seeing Ava at the hotel, but he's so worked up that she gets spooked, and Nikolas ends up shooing him away. So A.J. just tracks Ava down and prepares to tell her what he knows. Morgan suggests that Ava switch sides and join the Corinthos camp in the war against Julian so the two of them can be together. Ava agrees, because apparently she doesn't think Julian's going to win anyway. Spencer asks Victor why he was over at Emma's house, talking to Robin. Victor tries to get him to keep it quiet. When Cameron sends Spencer a picture of him and Emma hanging out together, Spencer agrees to keep Victor's secret if Victor will take him to the park to interrupt Cameron's alone time with Emma and deliver the Faberge egg. Britt questions Elizabeth about Ben's missing hairbrush, but Elizabeth is all, "Well, you stole my DVD, so now we're even." Nathan can't get Scott to back him in pursuing a case against Silas.

Parents of Port Charles, it's time to teach your children not to talk to strangers.

Look at Victor, doing something nice! It doesn't quite make up for the fact that he kidnapped and froze a guy, but still, it's something.

No one's going to believe me, but I totally mentioned the time-of-death thing to my mom yesterday. Shut up, I really did!

Ava, you seriously have no contingency plan for anything, do you? You moron.

February 11th, 2014

Apparently Heather's been carrying a gun around this whole time, so she uses that to stop Franco from rescuing Carly. Fortunately, Nikolas finally tells the police that Heather and Franco are hanging around his house, so Anna and Nathan are able to stop Heather before she can do more damage. Unfortunately, the police don't care enough to give Franco emergency medical attention, so he's left to declare his love for Carly and then pass out. Ava tells A.J. her version of what happened: After he left the hotel, she found Connie's body and took the gun to keep A.J. from being busted. She swears that she wanted to keep working with him to bring down Tracy, so she covered everything up for him. She attempted to get rid of the gun by throwing it into the lake, and she destroyed the security footage (but not before watching it). So really, A.J. should be thanking her! Morgan begs Sonny to give Ava a chance to join their side. Scott and Luke are locked in Heather's room together, so that's fun for everyone. The police have to let Silas go since Nathan doesn't have enough to pin Nina's attempted murder on him. Sam's starting to think that Ava wasn't behind it after all.

Nice makeup on Franco. He really looked like he was in bad shape.

I know they needed a lag between the kids telling Nikolas about Franco and the police finding out, but Nikolas taking half an hour to go to the PCPD was ridiculous. It's called a phone!

How awkward must it have been for someone to have to call up Kelly Sullivan and have her come in to do scenes after she was fired?

"Tracy's boathouse"? Oh, Luke. It's Monica's boathouse. (Alan gave it to her.)

Random thing I noticed but liked, and that showed that Kelly Monaco is underrated, including by me sometimes: Sam spotting Nikolas at the PCPD and giving a look that said, "Hey, there's my cousin. Hmmm, I wonder what's going on?"

February 12th, 2014

Carly reunites with her family but is too worried about Franco to be very happy about it. Sonny and Michael are both skeptical that Ava can be trusted. Ava promises to prove her loyalty to Sonny by giving him something on Julian. Alexis schools Julian on homophobia and encourages him to try again with Lucas. Ava tells Sonny that A.J.'s in his office to see Julian because he wants a job. A.J.'s desperate to find out what really happened to Connie, so he consults her via hallucination. It doesn't give him any useful information. At some point after they stop making out, Sam and Silas plan to go back to New York and talk to the pharmacist again.

I like how they pretend that Carly and Lucas have spoken at all in the last five years.

Julian, don't play "I had horrible parents" with Alexis. She will always win.

A.J. SHOULD work for Julian. That would be fun. Thanks for the idea, Ava!

Less helpful hallucination: Connie or Harry Morgan from Dexter? It's a toss-up.

February 13th, 2014

Elizabeth spins a masterful web of lies to keep Brad in the dark about the fact that he ran a paternity test on a kid whose paternity he's been trying to hide for months. Ultimately, Elizabeth walks away with exactly the information she was looking for. Ava steals Julian's confidential files for Sonny, but she's dumb enough to mention to Alexis that Julian's computer is in use, so when Alexis mentions it to him, he gets suspicious. Morgan again begs Sonny to give Ava a chance, even as Sonny points out that a woman who lied to her daughter for decades and who's willing to sell out her brother isn't really someone they should want on their side. Nikolas tells Spencer that he's going to propose to Britt. Spencer is way too in favor of the idea. Kiki's all, "I was right about Franco." Michael's all, "He still made really bad decisions and almost got my mom killed." Kiki's all, "You're so unreasonable about the guy who destroyed your life and many of your loved ones' lives." Lucas talks over the Julian situation with Brad, who later decides that he's going to stick with Felix. Julian takes Alexis' advice and asks Lucas for a second chance at developing a relationship. Lulu can't decipher a dream she has about her and Dante being Ben's parents.

I love that Brad has unknowingly helped bring Britt down. Man, Felix is a bad liar, though, right?

Poor Spencer continues to suffer because of Nikolas' horrible taste in women.

Michael's secret thoughts right now: "Did I seriously fight my brother for this girl?"

Are all of Kiki's pants ripped?

Is Lulu psychic, or did someone slip her some LSD?

February 14th, 2014

Elizabeth wrings as much pleasure as she can out of telling Britt what she's found out about Ben's paternity. Feeling a little arrogant since Elizabeth still doesn't know everything, Britt lays into her for all of her own sins (though at least Elizabeth never committed a crime). They get into a typical soap catfight, but Elizabeth ends it so she can go give Dante the news that he's a father. Britt decides she needs to ruin her and Nikolas' Valentine's Day by telling him what Elizabeth knows. Molly and T.J. start making plans to have sex. Duke harangues Anna about their relationship for an hour, and even though she keeps saying that she can't be with him because he's a criminal and she's a police officer, ultimately she can't end things. Morgan's so confident that Sonny will accept Ava on their side that he doesn't bother to take Sonny's orders to stay away from her. Nikolas tells Lulu that he's going to propose to Britt, and she gives her approval.

I know I said it before, but how fun would it be to be Elizabeth right now?

Usually when soap characters have sex, I tell them to use protection, but in Molly and T.J.'s case, I actually don't want them to. I've been wanting a teen-pregnancy storyline for YEARS.

Ugggggg, shut up, Duke.

Lulu, don't say the E word! If you say her name three times, she shows up, like Beetlejuice! (If you think I'm joking, I have bad news for you...)

Arrested (yet again): Heather Webber
Hospitalized: Robert "Franco" Frank
Injured: Britt Westbourne (stop breaking bones, Kelly Thiebaud)

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): The inspector said the tunnel was "very Scooby Doo," and later Heather said that she would have gotten away with her scheme if it weren't for Luke and the "meddling kids"; Spencer: "Dad, I think I talked to a criminal"
Funniest moment (unintentional): Robin's on the phone, yelling at Victor, and Emma's just dancing around the park, oblivious
Saddest moment: Dante talking about how he misses being a father
Sweetest/cutest moments: Franco and Carly's reunion (shut up! It was nice!); Michael and Morgan hugging after learning that Carly was okay
Least believable moment: Anna and Nathan just ditched Carly and Franco in the tunnel
Best instance of continuity: Elizabeth's missing DVD from Christmas 2012
Worst instance of continuity: Molly to Robin: "I don't know if you remember me." I doubt she'll ever forget you, considering she delivered you
Hero of the week: Victor
Most annoying character: Kiki
Smartest character: Elizabeth, for using fake names for the paternity test
Dumbest character: Heather. Always have a plan B, Heather
Things we learned this week: Connie was born in 1972.
Best/most memorable moments of the week: 1. Scott and Luke in the padded room
2. Elizabeth ending the fight with Britt because she had better things to do

The week in a nutshell:

February 15th, 2014

Next week: Someone remembers that Luke is still MIA.

February 17th, 2014

After a talk with Lulu about how she wouldn't feel comfortable with a baby who was Dante's but not hers, Elizabeth decides not to tell her about Ben. Britt rejects Nikolas' proposal and tells him that Elizabeth busted her on Ben's paternity. At the same time, Felix feels guilty about the way he and Elizabeth tricked Brad, so he confesses that they did the paternity test with fake names. While Britt tells Nikolas that she didn't know Dante was Ben's father, Brad admits to Felix that he did know. Eventually, Nikolas takes Britt to Lulu and Dante's to give them the news, assuring Britt that she won't lose Ben. Robin has trouble telling Patrick that she plans to leave town: First she says she's going to Africa to do charity work, then says it's because she's not safe with Obrecht in town. Patrick agrees and suggests that he and Emma go with her. Robin reminds him that he has a baby coming with Sabrina, so he can't really leave the country. Patrick still won't let it go, so Robin tells him that she doesn't feel like their relationship is good anymore and she no longer wants to be with him. Fortunately, Patrick sees through this. Carly remembers that Luke tried to rescue her and tells Dante that Heather had him taken somewhere. Obrecht takes advantage of Victor's interest in her to ask him to find out what happened to Faison. Franco's okay, but now he has mommy issues to deal with.

Brad's actually kind of a bad villain. Always check with your boss before you confess to something, Cooper!

Robin should tell Patrick the truth. What's he going to do, forbid her from going to help Jason?

Aww, Carly's actually worried about Luke! That's nice of her.

Seriously, Lulu, stop saying the E word.

February 18th, 2014

Britt stalls on telling Lulu and Dante about Ben's paternity, so Elizabeth does it for her. They're floored, and Dante immediately wants to see his son. Britt continues to claim that she didn't know he was Ben's father, but Elizabeth's the only one who doesn't believe her. Surprisingly, Lulu's happy over Dante getting to be a father, even if she doesn't get to be a mother (well, as far as she knows). Nikolas still wants to marry Britt, so he proposes to her again outside Dante and Lulu's apartment, and poor Elizabeth has to hear Britt accept. Robin tells Patrick the truth about her desire to leave town. He doesn't take it well, which isn't surprising, considering how her attempts to help Jason in the past have negatively affected his family. Julian confronts Ava over what Alexis said about her using his computer, but Ava tells him that Alexis is just trying to stir up trouble. They threaten each other, but Ava should probably be more scared of Julian than he is of her, considering he's already killed one sister. Sonny and Shawn look over the files Ava gave them and learn that, in addition to watching the Corinthos organization's finances, Julian's been doing lots of research on Jason and Danny. They also discover that he has a mystery bankroller Ava doesn't know about. Before Brad can tell Felix any more about Ben's parentage, Felix finds a text on his phone from Lucas and questions his half-naked selfie. Brad admits that they slept together twice. Felix decides that he's done with this mess of a "relationship" and cuts Brad loose. Morgan warns Lucas that Julian is a super-bad guy.

I love that Lulu is so happy for Dante, especially after she just told Elizabeth that she's not sure she could raise a child who was biologically Dante's but not hers. (Man, Lulu and Jason have more in common than I thought.) I like that she's as happy as he is.

I totally get why Patrick is mad, but...dude, you can't tell Robin, "Sorry, you'll just have to let someone you care about die." Remember your Hippocratic Oath?

So obviously the big question is, who's bankrolling Julian? "Speak of the devil" implies that it's someone he and Ava were discussing, and the only person I remember them mentioning (other than Sam, Danny, and Alexis) is their sister Olivia. Is that who Donna Mills is going to play? I think she might be too old for the character. Plus, we already have an Olivia. So I guess I actually have more than one question.

Today I realized that Morgan is dating his uncle's aunt. Send help.

February 19th, 2014

Now that Carly's safe, Luke becomes the missing person of interest. Anna manages to trade Heather a BLT in exchange for Luke's whereabouts. Franco mentions to Kevin and Lucy that the last time he saw Scott, he was headed for the institute, so now Anna, Tracy, and Lucy know they're in the same place. Dante tells Sonny that he's a grandfather (again), then admits that he's uncertain about getting to know his child. Sonny points out that things could be worse: Ben could be an adult, and Dante could have shot him. (I'm glad we're able to joke about how Sonny almost killed Dante. That's nice, isn't it?) Meanwhile, Lulu shares her own fears with Tracy; she doesn't know if she can help raise a child who isn't hers. But in the end, Dante and Lulu are majorly supportive and appreciative of each other, so it's all good. Britt worries that Dante will try to take Ben away from her, so Nikolas suggests that she take Ben to visit as a show of good faith. Elizabeth tells Robin about Nikolas' engagement, admitting that she still wants him. Robin urges her to tell him how she feels. Lucy's planning another Nurses' Ball and is disheartened when Patrick tells her that Robin's leaving town. She thinks it's because of Patrick and Sabrina's baby and encourages him to hang in there. Instead, Patrick suggests that he and Robin tell Anna about the Jason situation so Robin doesn't have to leave town. It takes Franco two seconds with Kevin and Lucy to figure out that Lucy's still interested in Scott. Spencer is way more excited about Nikolas and Britt's engagement than is healthy.

Dante told Sonny about Ben before he told Olivia? Just another sign that the writers have no idea what to do with her.

"Just like I missed my chance with Jason." Aaaaaaaand I'm done with Team Elizabeth.

Yay, they're going to do another Nurses' Ball! How are they going to fund it? Oh, and did Robin ever tell anyone that Jerry funded the last one?

You know who should be giving relationship advice? Lucy. Totally.

&%$@, Tracy, we're not saying the E word!

February 20th, 2014

Elizabeth tells Nikolas she loves him, but it's too late. He points out that he did exactly what she said he should do: He moved on. Patrick confronts Victor over his offer to Robin, threatening to tell Anna what's going on. Victor tells him that if Robin does nothing, Jason will die. Of course, this makes no difference to Patrick, but Robin is still determined to leave town with Victor the next day. Anna rescues Luke and Scott from the institute, but the drugs Luke was given have left him a little off. Hell must have frozen over because Britt apologizes to Sabrina for all of her shenanigans, Sabrina accepts, and the two of them are suddenly buddy-buddy. Dante gets to spend the day with Ben. Tracy, like Franco, is on to the fact that Scott and Lucy aren't completely over.

Number of times Jason has been mentioned recently: a billion. Odds of him coming back Monday: 0 percent. Number of times Ric has been mentioned recently: zero. Odds of him coming back Monday: 100 percent. What's wrong with this picture?

Drugged Luke is creepy. I feel like he wants to kill someone.

When do Britt and Sabrina start braiding each other's hair and painting each other's nails? It's so weird to see them getting along.

Ben is approaching Lil' Georgie levels of cuteness.

February 21st, 2014

Molly and T.J. plan a night together at the Metro Court, but first T.J. has to actually get a room. Olivia encounters him and goes all mom on him, mentioning condoms and safety and the like over and over. Then Shawn shows up, so she tells him that T.J. was looking for a job. Finally T.J. and Molly head up to their room, only to run into Rafe. Robin tells Emma and Mac that she's going to Africa for aid work. Emma reacts exactly like a kid her age would. Michael and Kiki go to their fathers for relationship advice; Silas thinks they can fix things, but Sonny thinks Michael might be better off cutting ties. Julian wins points with Sam by doing research into her brother's disorder (Fragile X Syndrome) and making a donation in his name. He parlays that into getting Alexis to let him spend time with Danny.

After everyone's used the word "pregnant" and "safe" multiple times, Molly HAS to get pregnant.

Also, whoever styled Molly today gets a round of applause. She looked lovely.

Kiki, sweetie, you were acting on a hunch, not on fact. If you'd been wrong and Franco had killed Carly, you would have helped him get away with murder. Now kindly shut your trap and stop whining about how you're owed things.


Engaged: Nikolas Cassadine and Britt Westbourne

Week in review:
Funniest moment (intentional): Lulu: "Nikolas has made a lot of bad romantic decisions." Elizabeth: (glares)
Funniest moment (unintentional): Morgan: "He wasn't just threatening my family; he was threatening yours." He knows he and Lucas have the same family, right?
Saddest moment: Emma, slowly tearing my heart into pieces
Sweetest/cutest moment: Lulu and Dante both being happy about Ben being his son
Least believable moments: Everyone thinks Dante cheated on Lulu with Britt; on Valentine's Day Franco was half dead, but the next day he was wandering around the hospital in a wheelchair
Best instance of continuity: Everything in Julian's file on Jason was accurate. It even mentioned characters like Brian and Capelli who haven't been mentioned in a decade
Worst instance of continuity: I don't get the way time works on this show, but the day after Valentine's Day should have been a Saturday, not a school day
Hero of the week: N/A
Most annoying character: Kiki
Smartest character: Anna, for Operation BLT
Dumbest character: N/A
Unanswered question of the week: Who is Julian's silent partner?
Things we learned this week: 1. Jason's 41.
2. Danny had Fragile X Syndrome.

The week in a nutshell:

February 22nd, 2014

Next week: Everyone who thought his brother was safely across the country and never coming back, take a step forward. Not so fast, Sonny.

February 24th, 2014

Shawn learns that Julian's being financed by a global corporation, Barrett Enterprises. Yes, that Barrett. Sonny reluctantly calls Brenda, who tells him that Julia sold her controlling interest in the company, so someone unknown is running it. It's pretty likely that that someone has just shown up at the lakehouse to see his daughter. (And I'm not talking about Mikkos.) Rafe quickly figures out why T.J. and Molly are at the hotel, then runs to Alexis to rat them out. In the process, he interrupts her just as she's about to take Julian to bed. A.J. shows up, drunk and looking for information on Connie's death (again), and Ava tells him (again) that Connie had already been shot when she got to the office. A flashback reveals that that's not true. Also, Ava has a horrible poker face, so now Carlos thinks she probably killed Connie. Michael and Kiki decide that their current relationship issues mean they should take a step back and reevaluate things. Robin and Patrick manage to stop fighting long enough to have sex. Ava and Carlos share their distrust of Julian with each other, and he catches on that she's making a move against her brother.

Sorry, people who only started watching in the past five years. That last scene meant nothing to you. The guy at the door was Ric, Molly's father and Sonny's brother. He makes me channel Gollum ("we loves the Ric! We hates the Ric!").

Wow, I don't think anyone's mentioned Julia in ten years.

Yeah, Rafe, we all know you sent Alexis in because you care about Molly. It's not at all because you hate T.J.

As much as I've given Kiki grief recently, I think she made a good decision in wanting to take a step back from her relationship with Michael. They did move in together very quickly. I mean, this time last year, he was still with She Who Must Not Be Named (Not Because She's Evil, But Because Prospect Park is Cranky).

February 25th, 2014

Molly refuses to leave the hotel with Alexis, who goes as close to nuclear as we've ever seen her. When they get home and reunite with Ric, Molly tries to play Mom against Dad, with positive results: Ric thinks she was totally justified in lying to Alexis about her whereabouts so she could have sex with her boyfriend. Molly finds out that Rafe tattled on her and also almost goes nuclear. Ava confirms what we already suspected: She killed Connie to keep her from spilling the truth about Julian's identity. Now that A.J.'s starting to remember what happened, she needs to have him taken out, and she'd like Carlos to do the job for her. Sonny also wants A.J. out of the picture, though he and Olivia can't quite interpret why Ava said he's not sorry he killed Connie. In New York, Sam and Silas recruit Delia to set up a date with the pharmacist and try to get him to admit that he's working with Ava. Julian takes advantage of some alone time with T.J. to encourage him to tell the police what happened in the warehouse.

Ric, re: Sam: "We were very close." Me: gagging.

LOL at Alexis asking Ric to define whether something is wrong or right.

Actually, if Ava wants Sonny to trust her, she should kill A.J. and just say to Sonny, "You're welcome."

Let this be a lesson: Send your mother pictures of her grandchild or she will make sure you're implicated in a crime.

February 26th, 2014

Olivia goes to check on the identity of a mystery hotel guest and discovers that Ric's back in town. It doesn't take her long to figure out that he's probably connected to Barrett Enterprises. Then she has to tell Sonny and send him in Ric's direction. Carlos prepares to kill A.J., but Michael shows up and Carlos puts on the brakes. Ava orders him not to kill A.J. while Michael's present. Sam and Silas think they're going to get what they need to take Ava down, but their plans for Delia and the pharmacist might be Ava herself. She's in New York to give herself an alibi while Carlos kills A.J. Kiki goes to Nathan's apartment looking for a sublet but changes her mind when she finds out he lives there. He lets her take a look at his file on Silas to try to convince her that he's not the great guy she thinks he is. T.J. tells Shawn and Sonny that Julian talked to him about the shooting. Shawn is displeased. Alexis complains to Julian about Molly and Ric's behavior, and if Julian knows Ric, he's not letting it show. Carly and Franco love each other, or whatever.

Olivia wins the prize for being the first person to mention the panic room. (I mean besides me.)

Delia and the Pharmacist is my '60s tribute band.

Heh, I can't help think that Kiki already lived in that apartment, since She Who Must Not Be Named lived there. Also, can you sublet a sublet?

No one tell Alexis that Shawn is totally okay with teen sex. She'll flip out again.

February 27th, 2014

Sonny and Ric have a cold reunion, dancing around the topic of Julian. Sonny warns that Julian might target his family members, which means Ric could be in danger. Neither of them actually believes this, though, and Sonny's pretty sure that Ric is Julian's silent partner. Robin stops by the hospital for an appointment before she leaves the country, and the Carly/Robin scene I've been begging for finally materializes. Things start civilly, with the women empathetic over each other's kidnapping dramas, but soon gets belligerent when Carly disapproves of Robin's plans to leave town. Patrick steps in to tell Carly to back off, noting to Robin that Carly would be singing a very different tune if she knew what Robin was really up to. Tracy uses a vase to thwart Carlos' plans to kill A.J. A.J. suspects that Sonny sent an assassin after him, so Luke offers to check. Ava wants to hang around Delia's bar, throwing a wrench into Sam and Silas' plans, but Delia gets rid of her by asking for money. It's a moot point anyway, since the pharmacist won't be able to make their date. Or any date. Unless it's with St. Peter. He's dead, you see. Shawn comes close to beating up Julian, but Alexis arrives and stops him. Julian tattles that Shawn and Sonny kidnapped Carlos and started the whole gun battle at the warehouse. It gets her upset with Shawn, but it doesn't endear Julian to her any more.

I'm waiting for some big twist, where Ric and Julian don't actually know each other, and Julian's been talking to, like, Nathan the whole time.

Robin is a better person than I am, but I dearly hope that someday, when Jason inevitably returns, Robin comes back and gives Carly a good old "nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah."

I'm assuming Tracy picked out Luke's clothes today? I think she mistook him for a history professor nearing retirement.

Shawn should have told Alexis how Carlos took T.J. hostage and used him as a human shield.

February 28th, 2014

A.J. tells Dante that he thinks Sonny tried to have him killed. A few drinks later, he remembers more about the night Connie died – specifically, that he wasn't the one who killed her. Of course, that means Ava did, so he goes to her place to let her know he knows. Nathan trails Silas and Sam to New York, accusing Silas of killing the pharmacist so he couldn't testify. Silas tells him to investigate Ava instead. Nathan mocks him for not visiting Nina for over 20 years, even though he wasn't legally allowed to. Silas decides that he needs to find a way to see her. Britt wonders why Elizabeth stopped by Wyndemere recently, but Nikolas and Elizabeth keep her in the dark about that. Lulu confides in Sonny that she wishes she were Ben's mother. Sonny encourages her in parenting anyway, pointing out that he considers Michael his child despite the fact that they're not blood relations. Robin says goodbye to Anna and Elizabeth. Nikolas wants to throw an engagement party at Wyndemere, because nothing bad has ever happened at one of those.

Wait, so alcohol both improves and destroys A.J.'s memory?

Silas, you can't see Nina. She hasn't been cast yet.

When did Lulu and Sonny become confidants? I wish Lucky were around so he could talk to Lulu about parenting a child who isn't biologically his.

Anyone who gets an invitation to Nikolas and Britt's engagement party should seriously consider skipping it. Just ask Katherine or Emily. OH, WAIT, YOU CAN'T. THEY'RE DEAD.

Back in town: Ric Lansing

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Ric: "She referred to him as a rodent and a reptile. Well, I'm proud"; Sam: "She's a kook, but she's our kook"
Funniest moment (unintentional): Connie: "You don't have to shoot me." Bang. Ava: "I just did."
Saddest moment: Anna saying goodbye to Robin
Sweetest/cutest moment: Ben keeps taking the cake
Least believable moment: Robin's been back for months but this is the first time she and Carly have run into each other
Best instance of continuity: Aww, a Four Musketeers reference
Worst instance of continuity: Nikolas. Engagement parties at Wyndemere never end well. What are you thinking??
Hero of the week: Tracy
Most annoying character: No one really stands out to me, amazingly enough
Smartest character: Olivia, for putting the Ric/Julian connection together
Dumbest character: Molly, who should know better than to talk to Alexis like that
Previously unanswered questions now answered: 1. Julian's bankroller is Barrett Enterprises.
2. Ava killed Connie.

The week in a nutshell:

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