General Hospital blog - January, 2008

January 2nd, 2008

“Moreau” orders a hit on an employee he’s wooed away from Sonny’s organization - Stan. Unfortunately, the hit is carried out while Stan is on the phone with Epiphany. Alexis and Diane are both nominated for Litigator of the Year. Spinelli hacks into the Health Department website to give Sonny’s coffee shop an excellent rating. He’s busted, but Diane convinces the health inspector that Spinelli is troubled and Jason is taking care of him. Jason and Spinelli are unable to find out where Sonny is being held in Manhattan. Alexis basically catches Ric and Skye making out. Luke gives himself another heart attack with a Cuban cigar. Nikolas and Emily…something.

‘Bye, Stan! I...actually didn’t think we’d ever see you again, so...this really sucks for you. And for Epiphany.

Yay, an Alexis/Diane plot! It’s a post-Christmas miracle! Also, the initials of the Women’s Attorney Association or whatever it’s called are WAA. Hee.

Um, why didn’t Jason Kate to find out where Sonny is?

I’m going to hit myself over the head with something very heavy tomorrow during Luke’s scenes.

Hey, a Famous Original Kristina reference! I see Jaime Ray Newman on other TV shows more than they mention her on GH.

What was up with the health-inspector stuff? How random.

January 3rd, 2008

In purgatory, Luke has to deal with a judge (himself), a prosecutor (himself), a bad defense attorney (himself), and a jury made up of Tracy, Lulu, Lucky, Bobbie, Nikolas, Lesley, Skye, Alexis, Carly, Mac, Edward, and Scott. They all attempt to convict him (who knows of what), but Tracy convinces everyone to find him not guilty. The real Tracy is both relieved and furious when he wakes up. After overhearing Epiphany panic over Stan being in an “accident,” Jerry heads to Alexis’ office, where she almost catches him confirming Stan’s death. Kate uses her status and bribes cops to release Sonny, making him realize that he shouldn’t make fun of her job anymore. Sam flakes on taking care of the girls while Alexis is out of town, so Ric offers to look after them. Skye and Ric realize that they have a lot in common - namely, they’re both boring.

So we’re done with the Luke-is-going-to-die stuff, right?

It might have been funnier if Kate had been arrested for bribing a cop. But oh, well.

Jerry’s kind of an idiot for going to Alexis’ office before making a phone call about a murder while using a French accent.

Sonny’s going to freak out when he finds out Ric is looking after Kristina. Also, I have to wonder if there’s a reason they’re making such a big deal about where the girls are going to be while Alexis is out of town.

January 4th, 2008

Wanting to “hook” Johnny, Jerry has Lulu kidnapped. Alexis and Diane are unsurprisingly on the same plane to Philadelphia. Epiphany demands that Jason find out who killed Stan. Mac has Johnny brought in for questioning over Georgie’s death, warning that she’s going to be able to tell them who killed her. Sonny is forced to leave Manhattan. Lulu assures Luke that nothing will happen between her and Johnny. Carly is suspicious of Jason and Elizabeth.

Is “Moreau” planning to meet with Trevor and/or Johnny? Because...haven’t they met Jerry?

So is Kate ever coming back to Port Charles? Or is she getting her own spin-off or something?

Oh, mind your own business, Carly. Make it your New Year’s resolution.

Tell me again why Felicia is still here?

January 6th, 2008

This week: Sam screws everything up. Thanks, Sam.

January 7th, 2008

Sam tells Carly that Jason is Jake’s father. Felicia realizes that someone at the PCPD has the same boots as the strangler - and we’re led to believe it’s Coop. Alexis and Diane’s flight’s takeoff is delayed because there’s too much weight on the plane. Their flight attendant yells at them for not stowing their garment bags, and then the pilot solves the weight problem by starting to kick them off the plane. Michael beats up a kid for calling Sonny a gangster. Jerry stashes Lulu in a…monastery? Kate and Sonny send each other presents. Elizabeth and Jason steal some time together and she sketches him. Ric calls Skye over to help him with Kristina, and then make out.

Beside the fact that Carly will get to bug Elizabeth, what does Sam stand to gain by telling Carly about Jake’s paternity? She has no dog in this fight anymore. Shut up, Sam.

Kate and Sonny made me gag.

I swear Jerry has Lulu in a monastery. Am I the only person who saw what looked like a priest’s robe hanging in the background?

Okay, I kind of love that Logan basically told Scott, “I can’t be a cop because I want to beat Johnny up.”

Couldn’t Alexis and Diane sue the pilot for sexual harassment for asking them how much they weigh?

January 8th, 2008

Carly thinks Sam is lying about Jake’s paternity, but Elizabeth confirms that she’s not. Carly accuses her of getting pregnant on purpose, then goes to confront Jason about not telling her the truth. Elizabeth spills to Lucky that Sam told Carly about Jake. After getting a flat tire and running out of gas, Alexis and Diane wind up at a biker bar. Johnny visits Zacchara, who says he’s getting better - and actually is. Skye and Ric…I don’t know, I ran it up, and I don’t care enough to make something up.

Tell me again why any of this situation is Carly’s business? Oh, right, it’s not. Never mind!

Waaaah, it’s so hard being Sonny! Shut up, Corinthos.

Shut up, Zacchara. Why are you back anyway?

I thought Ric and Skye would actually be interesting together. Boy, was I wrong.

January 9th, 2008

Carly thinks Jason should claim Jake, but he begs her to keep out of it. Elizabeth takes delight in holding some of Sam’s secrets over her head. Diane and Alexis try to win over the bikers, but it turns out they hate lawyers, so Diane grabs a gun and they make their escape. Diane admits to Alexis that she’s killed someone before. Spinelli wants to be a PI, and he wants his first case to be finding out who killed Stan. Skye gives Ric the waterfront property and tells him she’s leaving town. Tracy catches Luke trying to sneak out of the hospital and gets Lucky to convince him not to go anywhere.

Reason number 3,564,078 why I hate Carly: she will never, ever grasp the irony of condemning Elizabeth for keeping Jake’s paternity a secret - including from his own father - when she did the exact same thing to A.J.

I bet Diane shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. She seems like the type.

I’m not sure whose side I’m on here, Elizabeth’s or Sam’s. I am sure that I don’t care.

On a completely shallow note, I love Nadine’s haircut. But why would she think Spinelli was gay? He asked her out!

I thought Sam couldn’t take care of Kristina and Molly because she was going out of town or busy or something, and yet here she is, just running around and being useless. Way to go, Sam. We have to watch boring Ric/Skye scenes because of you! (Okay, not really, but I wanted to blame someone for them.)

January 10th, 2008

Lulu manages to escape from her room at the monastery and call Spinelli, but he’s unconscious because of cold medication and her call goes to voice mail. It also only tells him about a painting in the hallway. Logan threatens Johnny at gunpoint, but after they learn that “Moreau” has Lulu, they agree to work together to rescue her. After breaking back into the bar, Alexis and Diane bond. At the hospital for tests, Nikolas almost attacks Nadine but is stopped by Patrick and Robin, who vow to find out what’s been keeping him from being violent all the time. Jason tells Sonny he can’t claim Jake because of his job. Jax wants kids with Carly. Pretend you care. Carly and Elizabeth argue some more.

Awww, now Spinelli is going to feel like he’s failed Lulu on top of Georgie. Oh, and nice of you to totally kick him out and leave him to pass out in the snow, Mike.

Why is Jason so surprised that Carly is creating a disaster? That’s, like, her life.

I love that Robin just had a syringe of sedative at the ready when Nikolas went after Nadine. Um, okay. Does she just carry that around with her all the time?

See? Told you it was a monastery!

January 11th, 2008

Iris and Ford make Joe and his pregnant wife Angie leave GH since their insurance is lapsed, so he returns later with a bomb. Skye heads out of town, sneaking Luke out of the hospital in the process. Despite lectures about not playing with matches and not slamming the front door because it’ll lock, Cameron sets Elizabeth’s house on fire, and of course, Jake is inside alone. Sonny, Jason, and Jax all want Carly to stop messing with other people’s business already. Kate decides not to go on a month-long trip to Paris, and she has good timing since Sonny shows up in New York just as she tears up her plane ticket. Sam and Lucky make me hit the fast-forward button a lot.

I’d really like to know why Joe decided a bomb was the best way to get his point across. Just go to freaking County. But at least Monica and Edward get a plot! Actually, everyone involved is a second-tier character or below, which is really interesting.

‘Bye, Skye! Sorry they treated you so horribly.

‘Bye, Luke! See you in six weeks, I guess. Tracy’s going to be insufferable while you’re gone, so, uh, thanks for that.

I love when people yell at Carly. More of that, please!

In danger of going kablooey: Nadine Crowell, Mayor Garrett Floyd, Russell Ford, Epiphany Johnson, Leo Julian, Kelly Lee, Edward Quartermaine, Monica Quartermaine, Regina Thompson (yes, I had to look up her last name), Iris Sneed, a bunch of other people
Left town: Skye Quartermaine, Luke Spencer

January 13th, 2008

This week: Nikolas is still violent, Joe is obviously still potentially violent, and Johnny, Logan, and Spinelli team up to find Lulu. Awesome.

January 14th, 2008

Ford refuses to help Angie, but when she collapses, Kelly and Epiphany defy his orders. Sam tries to talk Joe out of his explosive plans, but she’s unsuccessful. Elizabeth saves Jake from the fire, cutting her leg in the process, and rushes him to the ER, where, of course, they become hostages. Logan enlists Spinelli (who’s finally heard Lulu’s voicemail message) to help him and Johnny. Jason visits Zacchara, who vows to recover. Jax tries to find out what Jerry is up to. Jerry later calls an “old friend” with a wing tattoo and tells him not to come to town yet. Tracy is upset that Luke has disappeared. Lulu finds a gap in a stone wall in her room.

Way to read a room, Ford.

Hey, Sam actually tried to be helpful! More than once! If only she could be like that all the time.

Those previews showing Jason arriving to rescue Jake were obviously misleading, but I actually like that Elizabeth saved him on her own. See, sometimes women can do stuff for themselves.

What was up with the replacement Jax? He was too scowly and not as hot as the real Jax. I demand they do away with the imposter!

January 15th, 2008

Joe tries to send Elizabeth and Jake away, but Sam convinces him to let them stay and get treated. Jason arrives at the hospital and Joe immediately sees him as a threat. Jason gets him to open up about his situation, but after Floyd attempts to leave, Joe seems to think Jason was distracting him and grabs Monica to use against him. Floyd calls Scott to tell him what’s going on and promises to get him a promotion if he takes care of things quietly. Scott sends Lucky in as a sniper, gleefully suggesting that he take Jason out in the process. Leyla accidentally makes Nikolas angry and he shoves Robin, angering Patrick. Later, Robin tries again to tell Patrick to stay out of her personal life, then confides that she’s found a donor. Patrick plans to delve deeper into Nikolas’ condition by drawing his blood while he’s having an episode - though this will require provoking him into having an episode. Ric tells Alexis about Skye giving him the waterfront property, announcing that he’s leaving town for a while to figure out what he wants to do. Julius saves Sonny from being rearrested for violating the restraining order, and I still don’t care about any of his scenes with Kate. Nadine guesses that Nikolas has been talking to Emily.

Sam is so much more likeable when she’s trying to be helpful and nice.

Why didn’t we get to see the end of the Alexis/Diane saga? I feel cheated!

Monica? Hush. You’re really not helping.

If Joe wants to assert how dangerous he is, he should just pick up the gun Jason put on the floor. Or SOMEONE should. Come on! Free gun!

January 16th, 2008

Lucky is about to take a shot at Joe when he sees Sam in the ER and learns that Elizabeth is also in the hospital. Patrick uses Emily’s birthday to make Nikolas have an episode so he can draw his blood. Nikolas, however, fakes being calm and escapes the room. Jason manages to calm Joe down and get Ford to agree to treat Angie and not do anything to Joe until she’s okay. Of course, Nikolas chooses that moment to arrive and start ranting. Spinelli figures out where Lulu is and dons a monk’s robe to sneak in as she digs her way into a passageway. Patrick thinks Robin is hurt more than she’s letting on, and she proves him right by passing out. Jake stops breathing but Epiphany and Cassius revive him. Ric tells Trevor that Skye gave him Alcazar’s waterfront property, and he’s planning to keep it. Sonny and Kate take the boring to Bensonhurst, where he seems like he’s about to propose before they get interrupted. Leo enlists Monica to help him stitch up Elizabeth’s leg, but she can’t do it. Kelly thinks something is wrong with Angie’s baby. Lucky alerts Mac to the situation and sneaks into Elizabeth’s exam room in scrubs.

Once again, Jason is the hero...uh, almost. Though he was definitely smart to tell everyone that Joe needs to left alone because they’ll be in danger if he takes his hand off the detonator.

Go Lulu! I hope she saves herself. Though I’m kind of enjoying the Three Stooges over there.

Why does Sonny think Kate will want to marry him? She doesn’t even want to live in the same town as him!

Sorry, Angie, but it looks like you’re going to join the Dead Baby Club (Sam McCall, president).

January 17th, 2008

Jason knocks Nikolas out to keep him from causing any more trouble. He then calls Joe’s bluff, determining that the bomb isn’t real and taking it away from him. Lulu winds up in a passageway, where she manages to injure herself. Johnny finds her and injures himself as well. The two of them find some sort of cellar, and they unsurprisingly wind up locked in together. Fortunately, Spinelli is on his way - with bread! Apparently Monica has started secretly drinking. Carly tells Jax about Jake’s paternity, and he wishes she would spend as much time on their attempts to have a baby as she does on butting into Jason’s life. Nikolas agrees to admit himself to the hospital and let Patrick take charge of his treatment. I don’t care about Sonny and Kate, who get fortunes from the fortune-telling machine from Big. Sam wants Lucky to come home with her, but he wants to make sure Elizabeth and Jake are all right.

Hey, Jason was the hero. Who would have seen that coming?

Monica’s been secretly drinking? Whatever.

I guarantee that Lulu and Johnny’s reaction to being trapped together will be the Sonny/Brenda response of, “Well, we could die, so we might as well have sex.” Also, Lulu, Johnny, and Elizabeth all have leg injuries - could we got for another kind of injury next time?

I so don’t need to hear any more about Jax and Carly’s personal life.

Lord help me, I almost felt sorry for Sam today. That’s about 18 kinds of wrong.

So, uh, is Robin okay? (I’m going to say yes, and I’m going to make a prediction for tomorrow: that she’s already pregnant, and that Patrick is the father.)

January 18th, 2008

Robin is pregnant. Sonny and Kate are still boring, and then he proposes. Lulu and Johnny drink rum and make out, then get themselves out of the cellar and meet up with Spinelli. When Lulu gets back to her room, Logan is waiting for her with Jerry’s henchman. Leyla seduces Patrick, then leaves him. Patrick tells Nikolas that his tumor is causing his hallucinations. The winged guy asks Jerry for information on people who work at GH.

I guess now we know how Patrick “comforted” Robin after Georgie’s funeral, huh? (Oh, and by the way, Robin is four weeks along and the funeral was December 21st. Just saying....) I hope Patrick appreciates irony as much as I do.

I don’t get that last scene Johnny had. What exactly is he planning to do to stop “Moreau”’s shipment - douse it with rum?

Kate’s Connie accent is driving me crazy. And making me really miss Lois.

Um, was Emily hiding in Nikolas’s closet at one point? No one else can see you, genius!

Winged guy sounds kind of familiar, but I’m not really sure who I think he sounds like. Maybe Johnny? Okay, that won’t help me figure out who he is. (I have my suspicions, though, based on things I’ve read.)

Arrested: Joe Smith
Injured: Jake Spencer, Lulu Spencer, Elizabeth Webber, Johnny Zacchara
Pregnant: Robin Scorpio
Secretly an alcoholic, apparently: Monica Quartermaine

January 20th, 2008

This week: Kate probably takes the whole week to give Sonny an answer, Trevor keeps an eye on Ric, and the strangler tries to claim another victim (fortunately, considering who the victim is, he doesn’t succeed).

January 21st, 2008

Lulu and Logan are tied up on the ship bringing in “Moreau”’s shipment, which Johnny is unaware of as he prepares to blow it up. Thanks to Spinelli, Jason stops Johnny just before he does, then gets Lulu and Logan out of there before Johnny does blow it up…with himself still on it. Robin starts to sink into denial about her pregnancy, which Kelly points out is probably the result of a broken condom. Robin gets confirmation when she overhears Patrick telling Leo that he knew the condom broke (but at least has tested negative for HIV). Kate rejects Sonny’s proposal (which he should have seen coming, since his fortune said, “You will stand alone”), and he takes out his anger on their old restaurant/theater, which he burns down. Jason can’t manage to get in to see Elizabeth. Nikolas doesn’t tell Patrick and Robin about his hallucinations, and then I ran up the other scenes with him and Emily. Elizabeth asks Lucky to take care of the boys while she’s in the hospital.

Dude, Patrick is kind of a jerk. He knew the condom broke and he didn’t say anything?? Also, is he an idiot? He knows where babies come from, right? Especially when Enduro condoms are in play?

Yeah, I think Lulu and Logan might be over. (Well, Lulu and Johnny might be over, too.)

Note to self: never tick Sonny off.

Five more months of this Nikolas/Emily crap? Ug.

January 22nd, 2008

Trevor suspects that Jason has done away with Johnny and is excited to find out what his weakness is. Lulu tries to tend to Johnny using medicine stolen from the hospital (but apparently it’s okay because Elizabeth said it was), but he disappears. The results of a DNA test done on Georgie - which will mostly likely reveal her killer - disappear, but not before Coop and Logan both have the chance to look at them. Jason celebrates his birthday with Carly and the boys, though he’d obviously rather spend it with Elizabeth, who has Lulu give him his present, a sketch of Jake holding a balloon. After relishing her temporary return as DA and taunting Scott, Trevor, and Logan, Alexis is attacked by the strangler on the docks. Jerry meets with the winged guy, who tells him to get them Alcazar’s (now Ric’s) waterfront property. Jax has to go out of town, but first he makes sure Carly knows exactly how annoying she is. Ric visits his childhood home. Lucky and Sam start to patch things up.

Yeah, when I think of Jason, the first thing I think of is “birthday party.”

Hands off Alexis, killer!

Maybe I’m thinking about this too much, but I’m confused - where exactly was Johnny when Lulu found him? Because the boxes nearby said “Alcazar Brothers.”

Y’all know I hate Elizabeth, but I cracked up when she told Carly to get therapy. Thank you!

January 23rd, 2008

Sam saves Alexis from the strangler, who is, unsurprisingly, Coop. He texts both of them, telling Alexis, “Now you’ll die slow [sic],” and Sam, “And you’ll watch.” Patrick pages Leyla, so she strips, thinking they’re in for another tryst. He pranks her into thinking they’re not, and when he lets her know he was joking, she tricks him back, getting him to strip and then taking his clothes. Robin realizes a little too late that he’s probably not the most mature baby daddy she could have hoped for. Ric spends the whole episode outside his childhood home, having flashbacks about telling Sonny that they’re brothers. Trevor figures out where he is and shows up after Ric is gone. Felicia splits town once again. Lulu tends to Johnny on the Haunted Star. Trevor tells a henchman to find a woman (who, if you’ve been paying attention to behind-the-scenes news, is Claudia Zacchara, played by Sarah Brown, AKA original Carly). Jason realizes once again that he’s too dangerous for Jake. Scott asks Logan if he took the DNA results, and Logan is understandably hurt.

Bravo, writers (er, writer), for making the strangler someone so unsurprising that when his identity was revealed, my only response was, “So?” There have been plenty of stupid reveals on this show, but this one might actually be the worst. Whatever happened to misdirection? Creativity? Good writing? Good grammar (“slowly,” not “slow”!).

Ha, Felicia didn’t even get a goodbye scene! I love it.

If I were that woman in Ric’s childhood home and there was a strange man standing outside the door all night, I’d be calling the police, not bringing him coffee.

How did Johnny get to the Haunted Star? And why is he there? Why did they even keep that set around? Why am I so confused?

January 24th, 2008

Coop and Maxie make plans to go to Canada together, but before they can leave, Jerry tries to blackmail Coop into helping him out with his nefarious deeds. When Coop returns to his room, Logan is there with the DNA results in hand. Ric hangs out with the woman from the house, who’s also a waitress, and whose name is apparently Marianna, even though I wouldn’t know since I ran up most of her scenes. Trevor tells him that no matter how much he gives Sonny, Sonny will still hate him. Jason catches Michael trying to take a gun from Sonny’s office and tells him that not only is using a gun dangerous, but it will change him as a person. Robin tells Elizabeth that she’s pregnant but doesn’t want to tell Patrick he’s the baby’s father. Elizabeth actually does something smart by telling her not to lie. Patrick makes it clear to Leo (with Robin listening in) that he’s never going to be involved with anyone who has kids. Johnny plays the piano and makes out with Lulu. Logan follows Lulu to the boat and sees them together, but doesn’t tell Scott where they are. Epiphany tells Jason that Elizabeth needs a distraction, so he brings her some of her art stuff. Sam and Lucky look after Kristina and Molly, and Sam admits that she’s afraid of losing him.

When Jason told Michael that using a gun doesn’t make a man a man, my first reaction was, “What show am I watching??”

Nice hiding place, Coop. How did Logan get into the box? And why? He needs a hobby if he’s just going to follow people around and break into their rooms all day.

Is Marianna evil? Is she going to stay on the show? Is she going to follow Ric back to Port Charles? Do I care? (I have no answers to the first three questions, but the answer to the fourth is definitely no.)

Awww, Leo likes Elizabeth! How cute. Yeah, watch your back, dude.

Am I supposed to like Johnny just because he can play the piano? Not going to happen.

January 25th, 2008

Logan confronts Coop about the DNA results and Coop tells him that Georgie did attack him but calmed down when she realized who he was. He also has suspicions about who the strangler is (possibly Daniel) but doesn’t share them with Logan. Later, Maxie returns to Coop’s room to leave for Canada and screams at what she sees. Kate comes to Sonny’s office looking for him and instead finds Carly, who taunts that Sonny changed his mind about proposing to her because he finally realized who she really is. Kate returns later and this time Sonny’s there. Michael uses Morgan and a fake charitable endeavor to raise money so he can buy a gun. Ian Devlin, an oncologist who’s an old friend of Patrick’s, shows up at GH to get tours before he starts working there, and the nurses are both attracted to and repulsed by him. Leyla, however, seems to think she can use him to get back at Patrick. Elizabeth isn’t pleased when she comes by Lucky’s to get the boys and finds Sam with them instead. Trevor’s henchman finds Claudia, who’s very different from the way Trevor remembers her. Jason once again tells Carly how annoying she is. Lulu and Logan…eh, whatever, there’s no way this will last.

‘Bye, Coop! I was always pretty neutral on you, but you weren’t really played by a great actor, so I don’t think I’ll miss you much.

Ian isn’t that cute! What’s wrong with these people?

Carly? Stop lecturing Jason and Elizabeth on parenting when your children are BUYING GUNS ILLEGALLY!

I’m not a fan of Kate’s new hairstyle. What’s up with the bad cuts this week? First Tracy, then Logan, now Kate. Are the hairdressers on strike, too?

Did anyone else catch the trailer-park comment Trevor made about Claudia? I’m guessing that’s a reference to Carly growing up in a trailer park. If so, nice.

January 27th, 2008

From a Zap2It interview with Amber Tamblyn, in which they asked her about the Emily storyline: “My reaction is no reaction. They’ll probably get a new girl, and we’ll find out that they cloned one of Emily’s hairs. Aliens will have been taking care of the cloned baby, and she’ll be transported down into the Quartermaine living room. I give them two years to pull out that story line.” Get Garin Wolf on the phone!

This week: more of the same, and the killer may still be out there.

January 28th, 2008

Jason and Mike rush up to Coop’s room and find that he’s hung himself…or been hung by someone else. The DNA results are found and everyone except Jason and Maxie believes that Coop is the killer. Elizabeth accuses Sam of using Lucky, but Sam announces that she’s actually falling in love with him. Elizabeth has to leave the kids with Sam again when she rips her stitches and Lucky takes her back to the hospital. Trevor gleefully keeps Claudia’s impending visit from Johnny. Tracy sues Monica for malpractice, leading to a catfight in an elevator. Ian is a smug little sexist and I look forward to the day when he gets some sort of comeuppance. Sonny and Kate…whatever, they’re broken up, I guess. Ric and Marianna are still boring.

I’m on Jason and Maxie’s side (well, not about Coop not being the killer - I think he was, but there’s someone else involved, too). Why would Coop kill himself? Even if he knew the police were on to him about being the killer, he was going to leave the country with Maxie. I’m thinking Daniel suspected that Coop was on to him about...whatever it is Daniel’s up to, and he killed him to keep him quiet.

Sonny and Kate? Still boring. Let’s move on, shall we?

I want Ian to hit on Robin and get smacked over the head by Patrick. Wouldn’t that be awesome?

Hi, Alan! Why don’t you visit more often? You never call, you never write....

January 29th, 2008

Maxie enlists Spinelli to help her figure out who killed Georgie, trusting him enough to tell him that Coop was Three. They start to suspect that Jerry might be the killer. Monica throws Tracy out of the mansion with Edward’s blessing, then cuts her off from all Quartermaine funds and freezes her assets. Patrick is annoying and condescending, so Robin shuts him up by telling him she’s pregnant. Sam tries to patch things up with Elizabeth, who obviously doesn’t want to play along. Lucky overhears them talking about Sam’s past misdeeds and asks Elizabeth for the whole story. Jerry stalks Alexis and they almost kiss, but fortunately, Sam interrupts them. Johnny is also a stalker, and he and Logan are about to throw down. Leyla flirts with Ian some more and goes out to eat with him, then dumps him as Nadine, Kelly, Lainey, and Regina look on.

Y’all know I don’t like Sam, but Alexis totally deserves to have her yell at her after almost kissing Jerry.

Speaking of Sam and my dislike for her, if she keeps calling Elizabeth out on her supposed saintliness, I might start liking her. And Elizabeth should realize that everything she complained she has to do in a day while being a working mother is exactly what Sam wants for herself, so she’s not going to get any sympathy.

If Daniel is the killer, we can add the blender to the list of victims. (Poor blender.)

Wow, don’t mess with Monica.

January 30th, 2008

Elizabeth tells Lucky everything Sam’s kept from him. On his way home, he runs into Michael’s arms dealer, who offers him drugs. He roughs the kid up a little, then finds a bag of pills he left behind. Jason looks on as Lucky tosses them in the river and tells him that people aren’t always who you think they are. Patrick tells everyone that Robin is pregnant, and after Cassius voices what everyone’s thinking, Robin lies that Patrick isn’t the father. Kate goes to Alexis and Diane for advice, then tries to patch things up with Sonny. He tells her to stay out of his life. Carly and Jax need to keep their private lives private.

Welcome to Telling Secrets That Aren’t Yours to Tell Day, featuring Queen Elizabeth martyring herself to tell Lucky everything Sam is keeping from him, and Patrick announcing to the whole hospital that Robin is pregnant. Shut up, both of you. (Hey, Elizabeth? People can’t change? YOU IDIOT. If people didn’t change, you’d still be the annoying little brat you were when you first came to town. Oh, wait....)

You shut up, too, Jax and Carly. You squick me out.

Should I be that disturbed when Alexis talks about sex?

Based on plotline stuff I’ve heard about and the fact that they mentioned Lucky’s addiction twice today for the first time in months, I think they’re setting him up for a relapse. Also, why didn’t he just arrest that kid?

Hey, I think I heard something about Sarah Brown coming back tomorrow. Don’t know where I got that from. Also, something about Lost...?

January 31st, 2008

Sonny hooks up with Claudia. Lucky confronts Sam and tells her to get out of his life. Luke returns to town and is promptly dumped and rendered homeless. Jason isn’t sure Coop was the strangler. Kate wants to tell Jax that she was Connie, but she doesn’t want him to tell Carly. Nadine catches Nikolas chatting with Emily, who wants him to have the surgery to remove his tumor.

So are we supposed to know that the woman with Sonny is Claudia? Because if not, they shouldn’t have shown those commercials. Also, if she’s going to keep talking back to Sonny and challenging his machismo, she can stick around.

Kate? You’re boring now. Just thought you should know.

Why did Lucky make out with Sam before breaking up with her? Weird.

Shut up, Michael. I don’t even remember what you said, but shut up anyway.

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