General Hospital blog - July, 2006

July 3rd, 2006

Elizabeth creates a diversion so Jason can break out of the PCPD and get to Sam. After initially enjoying losing her virginity to Dillon, Lulu quickly regrets the way things happened. Georgie does, too, when she learns that Dillon had sex with Lulu. Robert and Anna interfere in Robin’s love life.

I don’t think Anna will be back for too long, so they’d better get to the interesting stuff pretty quickly.

Please tell me Lulu and Dillon used a condom. Please, please, please.

Dang, Sam, next time just run!

Nice diverting, Elizabeth.

July 4th, 2006

Jason rescues Sam, taking a bullet in the process, then goes after Manny. They wind up on the roof, which Jason throws Manny off of after Lucky shoots him. Lucky takes credit for killing Manny. Jason collapses from blood loss. Robin tells Robert and Anna to stop fighting because she turned out all right. Anna snags Alcazar’s cell phone. Robin, Kelly, and Lainey decide to move in together. Tracy drunkenly complains to Alcazar about her man troubles.

They used to not do much on holidays, in case a lot of people didn’t watch the show. Not anymore! Farewell, Manny, you sick freak. Say hi to Faith for us.

I kind of want Alcazar and Tracy together. We could call them Alcatrace. What’s wrong with me? Also, more Drunk Tracy, please.

I love that the first thing Lucky thinks of to tell Jason after Manny’s death is that he won’t be arrested. Not, “Do you need a doctor?” or, “Sam is okay,” but, “We won’t press charges.” How helpful. Also, way to get him shot in the first place, Officer Spencer.

Robin, dear, if you were messed up, it wouldn’t be because Robert and Anna were bad parents - it would be because they left you for 15 years.

July 5th, 2006

Jason undergoes surgery. Alexis learns that Jason, not Lucky, killed Manny but asks that the proof be sealed. Thinking that Jason died in surgery, Sonny goes after Alcazar. Diego encourages Alcazar to take over while Jason is out of commission. Alan discovers that someone stole drugs from the hospital. Patrick suspects that Jason killed Manny. Manny appears to have an identical twin who’s also a priest.

Those of you who think they wouldn’t go so far as to give Manny an identical twin who’s also a priest, welcome to the planet. I hope you had a successful birth.

Who freaking cares if Jason killed Manny? It was self-defense, and everyone knew he was going to do it anyway. Get over it.

I don’t know if Diego’s hair is still wet from skinny-dipping or if he just has too much grease in his hair, but either way, WASH IT, LOSER.

Please let them send Sonny to the island. I need a break.

July 6th, 2006

Anna tries to convince Robert and Robin that she’s not in town on assignment. Jason makes it clear that he won’t be letting Sam coming home with him. Maxie tries to play on Lucky’s insecurities over Patrick and Elizabeth. Skye tells Alcazar she’s leaving town to have the baby. Patrick tells Elizabeth that he suspects Lucky stole pills from the hospital.

Who cares about Jason having nerve damage if he can shoot with both hands? Stupid non-plot.

Robin Christopher: It is definitely time for you to go on maternity leave.

Robin CANNOT live in Courtney’s old loft. That’s where Courtney used to go to have sex with Jason! That’s just gross!

You know I hate saying this, but Alexis? Shut up. Just leave it alone already.

July 7th, 2006

Ric suspects that Alexis is covering up what really happened to Manny. Sam apologizes to Alexis for her treatment of her, though she really wants revenge. Sonny accuses Max of having an affair with Carly. Lainey wants Carly to commit Sonny; Carly thinks she can save him. Georgie and Lulu face off with Dillon taking Lulu’s side.

How did Jason get to the house the same time as Carly, who left earlier and didn’t have to get dressed, sneak out of the hospital, etc.? Why do I even bother trying to figure out time frames on this show?

Stop it, Ric. I’m not going to even bother being specific. Just stop everything you’re doing.

Shut your pie hole, Georgie. Bringing Laura into this was WAY too far. Good luck trying to redeem yourself with me, because I don’t see it happening.

Hooked up: Lulu Spencer and Dillon Quartermaine
Hospitalized: Jason Morgan
Murdered: Manny Ruiz

July 10th, 2006

Jason tries to patch things up with Sonny and convince him to get help. Sam moves back into the lake house and seems to have a plan for revenge against Jason and Alexis. After catching Dillon and Lulu in the boathouse, Tracy forces Robert to give Lulu “the talk.” Elizabeth tries to get help in her quest to get Jason back to the hospital. Lucky kisses Maxie.

Holy Sam trying to pull a Carly? Run, Ric, run! You’ll wind up insane and you’ll never get a good storyline again!

Of all the people giving Lulu “the talk,” Robert is probably the last one. Why not Elizabeth? Or, hmmm, I don’t know, Robin?

Well, Lucky’s officially ruined. They might as well have Nikolas catch him with Maxie, since Lucky was all over Nikolas for cheating on Emily with Courtney. I guess someone doesn’t practice what he preaches, eh?

Hey, Jason? I know Sonny’s sick, but he DID try to kill you. You don’t have to be all let bygones be bygones about it.

July 11th, 2006

Carly suspects that Ric is to blame for Sonny’s condition. Ric and Jason make Sonny choose between them; Sonny chooses Jason and Carly to help him. Lulu overhears Dillon telling Tracy that he still loves Georgie, but she’s willing to keep having sex with him without any commitment. After Patrick catches her and Lucky kissing, Maxie gets Robin to keep Patrick from “lying” to Elizabeth about what he saw.

Okay, when Carly is the voice of reason, you know things are going badly.

Dang, Lulu. Get some self-respect!

I wonder if Sam can out-manipulate the master manipulator....

Maybe Maxie and Lucky deserve each other. They’re both annoying liars.

July 12th, 2006

Carly drives Nikolas, Lucky, Patrick, Max, and Ric to drink. Lainey and Kelly convince Robin to move in with them. Ric wants Lainey to examine Sonny. Nikolas seals up the secret passages in Wyndemere to keep Helena out, but she still has control over Colleen.

You know, I can’t say I wondered what the male version of the tequila girls would be, but I’m not that disappointed. I just hope Patrick and Lucky stay away from each other.

Since when is Courtney’s loft that big?

I’m guessing eventually Colleen is going to switch sides. And maybe do something about her hair?

Shut up, Lucky. That is all.

July 13th, 2006

Max, Patrick, Lucky, Ric, and Nikolas fantasize about Carly (yes, even Lucky!), but she winds up drinking with Jason. Lulu tells Dillon that she never saw Georgie and Diego having sex, but he doesn’t believe her. Lucky and Elizabeth celebrate the anniversary of their engagement. Emily returns.

What have we learned today, boys and girls?
- Red light makes everything sexy.
- Max is strangely predictable.
- Patrick really doesn’t think with his brain.
- Cousin incest is REALLY creepy.
- Sam may be able to out-manipulate Ric after all.
- Nikolas is very smart.

Let’s say you’re Lulu and you need relationship advice. Let’s say you really only have two choices of people to ask for that. One is your insane, thrice-divorced cousin who’s known for manipulating men to get what she wants. The other is your stable, happily married (somewhat) sister-in-law who is a great listener and would be able to easily set you on the right path. Who would you choose? Yeah, not Carly. Elizabeth, Lulu. Always pick Elizabeth.

So...why did Elizabeth go to Kelly’s earlier? They never explained that. Eh, whatever.

And so ends our Emily vacation. Too bad, eh?

July 14th, 2006

Sonny starts therapy. Jason and Carly suspect that Ric bought Emily’s “Lily” dress. Carly also wants a distraction from thinking about her old feelings for Sonny. Lucky misses the party celebrating his promotion because he’s bugging Maxie for drugs. Ric seems to be disturbingly attracted to Sam.

No scorecard this week; I think the only thing that really happened was that Emily came back, and no one cares about that.

Holy double-sided tape, Carly!

I don’t get why Max was outside Lainey’s office. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention. I wouldn’t be surprised. Also, Sonny is no Tony Soprano.

Maxie will be in a lot of trouble if she ever gets in an abusive relationship. Oh, wait, she’s kind of already in one!

I’m surprised Sam’s bathing suit was so modest. She lets everything else hang out all the time, so why not wear a string bikini?

July 17th, 2006

Carly asks Jason to keep her from going back to Sonny. Lucky starts to realize how much trouble he’s gotten himself into. Sam tells Jason she wants him to hurt the way he’s hurt her. Helena orders Colleen to keep Nikolas on the anti-Carly bandwagon. Emily taunts Ric about Jason and Sonny’s renewed camaraderie. Alexis doesn’t like water.

Whenever I see Carly and Sonny onscreen together, my finger automatically finds the fast-forward button. I just can’t help it.

I actually rooted for Emily today, when she gave Ric that smackdown. I feel so dirty.

Hey, Sam? I know you want Jason to hurt emotionally and all, but when you tell him you want him to feel the pain you’ve felt, all I can think is, “Hello, remember when he got shot?”

So...why does Colleen care if Emily visits Nikolas and John?

How many times are they going to mention that Alexis doesn’t like water? Gee, do you think that will come back somehow?

July 18, 2006

Carly encourages Emily to stay with Sonny so she won’t be tempted to go back to him. Alexis gets Sam a job as a clerk. Lulu goes to Carly for more relationship advice. Emily thinks Jason is trying to undermine Sonny’s recovery.

So...Emily wants to apologize to Nikolas for being raped, dealing with it in her own way, and driving him to adultery? Grow a backbone, Quartermaine!

Lulu desperately needs Laura back in her life. Though I enjoyed hearing Carly say, “Now I know how Jason feels.”

People need to stop leaving Sam and Ric alone together.

Awww, Jason and Sonny are back together!

July 19th, 2006

Just as Tracy figures out that Lulu lied to Dillon and Dillon learns the same thing, Georgie and Diego take a trip to the boathouse. Noah plays matchmaker for Robin and Patrick. Ric encourages Alexis to arrest Jason for Escobar’s RICO violations so they can eventually get him for Escobar’s murder. Alexis asks Jason once again to stay away from Sam.

Seriously, Dillon is kind of an idiot for not believing Lulu when she told him the truth. He kind of brought this on himself.

Oh, Noah. I’m sure you were interesting once. Sorry you got stuck playing Cupid.

Does Ric not have a job? Why does he keep hanging around the police station? Maybe he could go home and hang out with the kids.

I really don’t think Edward needs to hear about his grandson’s sex life.

July 20th, 2006

Carly attempts to find out where Ric bought the white dress. Robin and Patrick…um…reconcile. Georgie tells Dillon she can’t trust him anymore. Dillon confronts Lulu for lying to him.

This was the LONGEST HOUR EVER. Too much talk, not enough rock. Except for Robin and Patrick.

Uh, oh, Carly’s on a mission. Watch out!

Poor Lulu. And girl can act.

I highly doubt that Diego would stop himself before having sex with Georgie. Especially after he spent all that time thinking about her while he was in prison.

July 21st, 2006

Jason confronts Ric with the white dress. Alfred plays matchmaker for Emily and Nikolas, who is later set up with Robin. They, of course, run into Patrick and Carly at the Metro Court. Sonny goes to another therapy session. Alexis accuses Sam of swiping the Escobar file. Lucky is fed up with Elizabeth, who hasn’t done anything wrong.

Is the Sonny-goes-to-therapy-and-then-has-a-fake-flashback-about-Carly thing going to become a weekly scene? I’d like to know in advance so I can have my finger on the fast-forward button. Also, you’d think Sonny would like therapy more since he loves to talk about himself.

I don’t know about Robin and Nikolas together. I guess it would be okay. And I have a feeling Helena was their matchmaker.

Oh, Jason, just say, “Wait till your father gets home!”

You know what, Lucky? Go cheat on Elizabeth with Maxie. You’ve already been ruined enough, I don’t care if you’re ever redeemed. Also, writers? YOU SUCK.

Broke up (sort of): Lulu Spencer and Dillon Quartermaine
Reconciled: Robin Scorpio and Patrick Drake

July 24th, 2006

Sonny chooses Jason over Ric. Patrick chooses Carly over Robin, but Carly chooses Jason over Patrick. Robin chooses using Nikolas to make Patrick jealous over acting like an adult. Elizabeth chooses Jason over a life free of crime.

Dang, Elizabeth! Have fun serving time for obstruction of justice!

Yeah, I’d choose Jason over Ric, too, but you all knew that.

Someone please hit Maxie over the head. Right now.

Didn’t Robin use to be the mature one around here? What happened?

July 25th, 2006

After lots of discussion, Sonny finally starts taking his medication. Ric and Sam bond. Alexis and Carly try not to worry that Kristina and Morgan will inherit Sonny’s bipolar disorder. Elizabeth confesses her crimes to Jason. Maxie admits to Georgie that she’s involved with a married man.

Did Carly and Alexis just have a meaningful, mature, civil conversation? Is that the first sign of the apocalypse?

My first instinct: Sonny will be (even more) dreadfully boring on Lithium.

How in the world did Sam and Ric spend an entire evening at Jake’s without running into Carly or Jason? And when will they stop making Kelly Monaco dance?

Are we supposed to feel sorry for Lucky? Because...that’s not going to happen.

July 26th, 2006

Robin and Patrick lobby for a patient with AIDS. Alexis wonders why Ric and Sam didn’t tell her about Sonny’s bipolar disorder. Lucky is scum. Alfred tries some more matchmaking.

I can’t even think about the whole Lucky/Maxie situation. It’s so out of character for him to do this. Remember when he was cool?

Hi, Alan! ‘Bye, Alan! Come back soon!

Oh, just go away, Colleen.

You go away, too, Ric and Sam.

July 27th, 2006

Lainey gets Sonny to talk about his mother in therapy, but afterwards he contemplates quitting. Patrick cuts himself during surgery, exposing himself to AIDS. Nikolas agrees to let Carly, Michael, and Morgan see John. Carly is upset that Jax sent her a postcard with nothing expensive attached. Dillon throws Georgie a second prom.

When Patrick cries, he really looks like Noah.

Awww, Stone flashbacks! How nice. Michael Sutton was a really good actor.

That under-five playing the bellman was awesome. “There are giraffes on it.” Hee!

This may be the first day I didn’t really hate what Emily was wearing. I liked both her dress and her necklace. I’d like to see someone on Project Runway make a dress like that.

Bleh. I don’t like Dillon and Georgie together anymore. Georgie can go off and be boring with Diego and Dillon and Lulu can rock and roll together.

July 28th, 2006

Sam and Jason get trapped in an elevator together. Lucky finds out that he didn’t shoot Manny. Things get worse when Elizabeth finds his pills. Colleen tries to make Nikolas think that John isn’t safe with Emily. Carly and Sonny talk about something or other.

Just like a gun, if an elevator is shown in the first act, it must go off in the third (or in this case, the second).

I can’t decide who Sonny is more boring with, Carly or Emily. I think it’s a toss-up.

Yeah, nice try, Colleen. Too bad Nikolas was STANDING RIGHT THERE when Emily put the baby down. You idiot.

Elizabeth, leave him. You’re way too good for him, especially now.

KEVIN! Too bad it was just a flashback. And he didn’t get to say or do anything. And he had really bad hair. But still, KEVIN!

Ailing(?): Patrick Drake
Committed adultery: Lucky Spencer and Maxie Jones

July 31st, 2006

Lucky accuses Elizabeth of setting him up. He later spots her with Patrick and gets revenge by making out with Maxie in his squad car. Robert distracts Alcazar long enough to get Skye out of town and on her way to Iowa. Jason tells Sam he still loves her but that doesn’t mean they can get back together. Sonny and Carly…bleh.

Please tell me Skye is actually leaving this time because that was three weeks ago and Robin had her baby last week, which means this was taped two weeks before her due date.

Can’t Sonny and Carly get back together AND not be boring? Why does it have to be one or the other?

Note to self: when in a courthouse, take the elevator and hope to get trapped with a cute guy.

Dear Elizabeth: it’s spelled D-E-N-I-A-L.

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