General Hospital blog - June, 2013

June 3rd, 2013

Sonny tries to keep Carly at a distance, which of course doesn't work, so they both ask Shawn to take out Franco. Silas hires Diane to help him get custody of Rafe. She tries to paint Sam as an unfit mother, so I don't think she and Alexis are going to be friends anymore. Later, Silas tells Sam that something's wrong with Danny. Franco vows to find Lauren, then hires Diane to get him out of jail. Michael, Tracy, and Franco all realize that he has 12% shares. Kiki asks Morgan to be nicer to Michael.

Congrats, Shawn – you're officially the new Jason.

Happy birthday, Danny! I don't think Aunt Diane will be invited to your birthday party.

The only problem with Kristen Alderson having brown hair now is that her parents are both blond.

When did Tracy become so compassionate? It's kind of freaking me out.

Morgan, put a freaking shirt on already.

June 4th, 2013

Silas freaks Sam out about Danny's health, so she takes Danny to the hospital for tests. Later, Silas stalks her to say that Danny has cancer. Rafe thinks he's moving to New York and encourages Molly to patch things up with T.J. She does, but not before Felix's sister Taylor snags a prom date with him. Felix and Sabrina are unhappy with each other for bringing home new houseguests (Taylor and Britt). Patrick cheers Sabrina up by asking her on a date. Maxie and Olivia are happy to learn about Lulu's recovered memory.

A rash plus a cold plus swollen lymph nodes automatically equals cancer? Shut up, Silas. And stop stalking Sam.

Why does Rafe want Molly and T.J. to get back together?

Oh, Sabrina. Just take away her bell.

Hey, Lulu finally remembered she saw Franco! But don't these people read the newspaper?

June 5th, 2013

Silas tries to get access to Danny's tests, but Patrick runs interference. It doesn't matter anyway, since it looks like Silas is right. Spinelli accidentally turns Danny's birthday party into a bummer by mentioning Franco. Sonny gets the DA to agree to let Franco be released on bail. Franco's suspicious but doesn't know Shawn is literally gunning for him. Britt and Taylor are instant BFFs. Spinelli tries to get information out of Brad as Ellie finds Britt's medical file in his desk.

Can we please stop putting children's lives in danger? Is that asking too much?

How in the world did Shawn get a gun into the courthouse?

Sabrina and Felix should get Britt and Taylor their own place together.

$5 says Brad is the father of Britt's baby.

June 6th, 2013

Connie and Olivia accidentally prevent Shawn from killing Franco at the courthouse, so Shawn follows him to the Quartermaines', where Franco wants to conduct business. That doesn't work out either. Morgan hears his parents talking about the hit but is dumb enough to believe they're talking about a business deal. Kiki and Michael hang out in towels, get in another fight, and almost kiss. Kiki decides she can't live with him anymore, so Morgan urges her to hit up her new rich relatives for money. Danny may have leukemia. The writers remember that Connie was supposed to go on trial, then quickly end the storyline. Ava considers joining Team A.J. Luke continues to ignore his health issues.

I was sure Alice was going to find Shawn lurking around the Qs'. That would have been awesome.

Someone please tell Michael and Kiki they're related before this turns into Arrested Development. As it is, I just want to keep yelling, "No touching!"

Stupid Silas! Why do you have to possibly be right?

Luke, maybe you should take care of your own problems before knocking A.J.'s. At least he never ran over a kid.

June 7th, 2013

Ava tells Franco that she's going to make sure he never meets their daughter. Of course, that's Kiki's cue to show up. A.J. and Tracy fall all over themselves to gain her favor, inviting her and Morgan to move in. Carly thinks Franco's behind Danny's health problems, and it's the last straw, so she goes to the Quartermaines' to kill him herself. Sabrina and Felix try to draw Britt's blood so they can find out if she's being honest about her condition. Brad interrupts, then later also interrupts Ellie when she tries to look at Britt's file. Morgan thinks Michael is interested in Kiki. Elizabeth and Sam are actually nice to each other. Patrick and Sabrina finally go on their first date.

Carly and Ava could solve multiple problems if Carly just paid Ava to kill Franco.

I think Morgan would enjoy living at the Qs'. He'd like it as much as Luke did.

Either Sabrina and Felix live right next to the hospital or Ellie is really slow.

"Sorry I couldn't get here sooner. I was trying to kill someone. You know how crazy my job can be." Okay, Shawn.

Birthdays: Connie Falconeri, Danny Morgan
New in town: Taylor DuBois

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Franco stealing ice tongs; Morgan: "You're going to think I'm lame." Michael: "That would be an improvement"; A.J. saying that the last person who went off with Tracy wound up in a gingerbread house
Funniest moment (unintentional): "Team A.J.!"
Saddest moment: All the stuff with Danny
Sweetest/cutest moment: Tracy comforting Monica
Least believable moments: News about Franco only traveled by word of mouth, and it took Molly 48 hours to hear anything; Felix and Sabrina didn't tell each other about their new houseguests
Hero of the week: I really don't know
Most annoying character: Britt, with Taylor close behind
Smartest character: Spinelli, I guess
Dumbest character: Morgan, and I know I don't have to explain why
Unanswered question of the week: What does Taylor have on Felix?
Things we learned this week: 1. Kristina's going to Wesleyan now.
2. Franco's middle name is James.

June 8th, 2013

Next week: Oops! Wrong target!

June 10th, 2013

Carly gives Franco the wind-up baby he once sent Josslyn, then tells him to ease her mind about being a threat to her family. She invites him to dinner at the hotel and calls Shawn, telling him the hit's back on. Shawn questions the plan, but Carly swears it was Sonny's idea. She sets everything up on a terrace, and just as Shawn is about to take the shot, Sonny arrives. Olivia has a vision of him getting shot, so she runs out to save him and is shot herself. Felix and Britt snipe at each other, and he asks how she became so horrible. She tells him about her parents, but he thinks she's lying, which is kind of funny. He then questions the baby's paternity and urges her to get a paternity test so everyone will stop talking about it. She refuses. Laura returns from her honeymoon and catches up with Lulu, who for some reason thinks she needs to cook for Dante to keep him happy. Patrick and Sabrina have a nice first date, even with a discussion about Britt and how Sabrina doubts everything she's said. Sonny gives Connie a birthday present he got her before they broke up. Olivia totally wants Sonny but won't tell Connie.

It would have been kind of funny if Shawn had shot Sonny. And then he probably would have been fired.

People should just stay off of that terrace altogether. Sam was shot there, too.

How ironic that Alexis, who once lectured Sam about dating a hitman, is a hitman.

Lulu, how have you not figured out that all Dante wants is sex?

June 11th, 2013

Shawn has to make a quick getaway while Carly plays dumb about who might have shot Olivia. Franco suspects that the hit was meant for him and directs the police to the room where Shawn took the shot. Anna and Dante are on the case, so odds are about 50/50 that Shawn will get caught. Nikolas questions Alexis' choice in boyfriends. Alexis questions Shawn's choice in bosses. Nikolas also tells A.J., who's just spent the evening getting closer to Elizabeth, that he knows he slept with Carly and has the recording to prove it. Nikolas promises not to tell Elizabeth, and A.J. tries to get him to go a step further and erase it. Lulu and Maxie get magic fortune cookies; Lulu's says, "Something of yours may be lost to you forever," and Maxie's says, "Soon the truth will come out." Sabrina's hesitant to have sex with Patrick since they're in the house he shared with Robin. Then she gets over it since it means having sex. Emma subjects Duke to some accessories his old spy friends can never know about.

Since Olivia was shot in her workplace, can she get workers' comp?

Lots of Robin references today. Wonder if that means anything....

A.J. does remember that he and Elizabeth weren't actually dating when he slept with Carly, right? This whole storyline revolves around the fact that Nikolas and Tracy think he cheated on Elizabeth, but he didn't. A.J.'s making a bigger deal out of it than it should be.

Ian Buchanan is a seriously good sport.

June 12th, 2013

Shawn tells Sonny what happened, stunning him with the news that Carly called the hit back on. Sonny orders him to keep his mouth shut, but he's already in hot water, having lied to Alexis about speaking to T.J. (when he was really talking to Carly), then getting caught. Dante wonders if Sonny was the target of the hit, but Anna figures out that it was probably Franco. However, that means Sonny was probably involved. Franco basically accuses Carly of arranging the hit but doesn't tell Anna, supposedly because he's on his redemption kick. Patrick thinks Sabrina's nervous to have sex because she's a virgin. She says she's not, and by the end of the night, she's definitely not. Molly gets the filler scenes, talking about her relationship woes while T.J. and Taylor get closer.

Oh, Shawn. Nice try.

Ironically, Sonny can honestly say he knew nothing about the hit.

So how long until we meet Sabrina's ex?

I guess Rafe forgot to tell Molly that he tore up his prom tickets.

June 13th, 2013

Dante tells Lulu that if Sonny had anything to do with Olivia's shooting, he should be prosecuted. Lulu tells him to stop thinking about who was responsible and focus on his mother. Shawn's furious with Carly for the botched hit and warns that Sonny will probably come after her, especially if Olivia dies.He also knows that Alexis is going to figure things out sooner or later. Sonny does eventually confront her, but obviously he's not going to kill her. Lulu catches them fighting but doesn't know what they discussed. Anna has figured everything out, so she lets Sonny go and questions Shawn, pointing out that this isn't the first time he's accidentally shot an innocent person. Shawn pulls the Jason card and refuses to incriminate himself. Stupid Silas is right, and Danny has leukemia. Silas refuses a continuance, telling Diane that Sam's in no shape to look after Rafe. Now that they're happy, Patrick and Sabrina are boring.

Awww, Lulu was a good wife today.

If Sonny had been arrested and Alexis had come to help him, he would have had one baby mama defending him for a crime committed by another baby mama and accidentally carried out on gus third baby mama.

Why do the writers hate Danny so much?

Hey, Carly, next can you take out a hit on Silas?

June 14th, 2013

Franco tries to get to know Kiki, who's not so keen on learning about her father now that she knows he's psychotic. He tells her that after Jason died, he stopped hating and apparently became normal. This doesn't make Kiki feel better, so she flees back to Michael's place. At the same time, Morgan's on his way to the Quartermaines' to move in, having been retrieved by Alice, who needs to read up on her Corinthoses. A.J. tells Michael that Lauren turned up and encourages him to go make nice so they can get her vote. He fails to tell him the nickname Lauren goes by. T.J. asks Shawn to go to the lakehouse to check on Molly, in light of Danny's diagnosis. He does so reluctantly, and is confronted with the news that Alexis has figured out he was the shooter. The prom, which was supposed to be held at the Metro Court, is canceled because of the shooting. Taylor annoys T.J. into agreeing to go out on a date anyway. Even Felix feels bad for him. Tracy browbeats Luke into making an appointment to get his test results. Silas gets custody of Rafe, so now he doesn't get to go to prom AND he has to move to New York.

I'm sorry, how has Michael not put it together that Kiki and Lauren are the same person? All the information is right in front of his face! Alexis put together that Shawn was the sniper with even less info!

Shawn, I think you're about to get dumped.

Couldn't they postpone the prom a few days and have it somewhere else? They shouldn't have to cancel it altogether. It's not the kids' fault Shawn is a suck shot.

Question for Rafe: What's with the backpack?

Injured: Olivia Falconeri
Sick: Danny Morgan

Week in review:
Funniest moment (intentional): "This is my good side. This is my great side"
Funniest moment (unintentional): When Patrick invited Sabrina over for dessert, it wasn't a euphemism
Saddest moment: Dante being sad about Olivia always gets me
Sweetest/cutest moment: Nikolas brought Danny a stuffed elephant
Least believable moment: Shawn would never have taken that shot with Sonny and Olivia standing right there
Hero of the week: Olivia
Most annoying character: Silas
Smartest character: Anna
Dumbest character: Michael
Things we learned this week: 1. Sabrina's 27.
2. Taylor's taller than T.J.
3. Morgan doesn't know Kiki's real first name.
4. Alice and Morgan aren't familiar with each other.

June 15th, 2013

Next week: Carly's not used to answer for her bad decisions.

June 17th, 2013

While Morgan's teeny brain manages to figure out that Michael and Kiki are cousins, Michael encourages Kiki to give her father a chance, since he did with A.J., and things turned out well. As Kiki leaves for the mansion, she and Michael kiss, making everyone in America throw up. After something of a comedy of errors involving Kiki and Morgan unable to connect with each other at the house, Michael arrives and finally meets his cousin, who, you know, he's already met. Morgan's relieved that they're cousins, since it means Michael can't get between them, so his mind is going to be blown when he finds out what they were just doing. Alexis badgers Shawn until he finally admits that he shot Olivia. She asks how he could make the choice to kill someone when so many people depend on him. Also, how will he feel if Olivia dies? Shawn is, of course, concerned about all of that, but he'd also like to know what Alexis plans to do with this information. Tracy and A.J. begin their fight for Franco; Tracy tries to entice him with power and A.J. plays on his desire for redemption, as well as the fact that Michael could help him connect with Kiki. Rafe gives Molly a nice non-prom, plus another kiss. Taylor is unhappy to be T.J.'s second choice, so she turns to her flask for comfort. She spots Rafe and Molly from their limo and gets T.J. to see them just as they kiss.


Me, while Morgan tried to figure out who's related to who: "Look out. The monkey's thinking again."

Lovely work from Sean Blakemore and Nancy Lee Grahn today. It's interesting to see someone who's generally considered a "good guy" stuck in a situation normally faced by "bad guys."

Sorry, I'm going to have to back Molly and Rafe instead of Molly and T.J. You never should have thrown that punch, Teej.

June 18th, 2013

Michael's equally disgusted with his cousin-kiss and the realization that her father is the one responsible for his rape. Franco asks him to explain the situation to Kiki, making this the first time Morgan learns of the attack. Not only is he mad about that, he's mad that Kiki knew before he did. He's suspicious of their connection, but A.J. remains the only person other than Michael and Kiki who knows about their kiss, and no one's going to say anything. By the end of the night, everyone's mad and/or bummed except Franco, who's thrilled with all the drama going on around him. Alexis won't rat Shawn out because Sonny's involvement in the hit falls under attorney-client privilege. Instead of being grateful, Shawn taunts that she killed someone, too, so she's no better than he is. Molly may or may not have overheard part of their conversation, but she's probably too distracted over having to lose Rafe to think about it. Dante still thinks Sonny called the hit on Franco, but Lulu's a step ahead, identifying Carly as a coconspirator. She tries to gauge how angry Carly is that Franco's still alive, but doesn't tell her straight out that she knows. Molly briefly worries about T.J. spending time with Taylor, but Rafe doesn't think she has anything to be concerned over. He's wrong, since T.J. and Taylor are about to put the condom she brought with her to very good use. Sonny tries to intimidate Carly and almost overhears Lulu and Dante discussing his role in the hit.

Heh, A.J.'s in the middle of another don't-tell-anyone-what-we-did plot. Also, more bad news for him: Tyler Christopher signed a contract. (Good news for us, though! Woo!)

Little does Shawn know, Kieffer wasn't the first person Alexis killed. Remember how there used to be two Alcazars?

This isn't an either/or situation, Dante. Even if Olivia doesn't wake up, you still have to find out who shot her. It's kind of your job. Which, by the way, Lulu has done better than you.

LOL at Sonny considering killing Carly. Witch, please.

June 19th, 2013

Alexis throws Rafe a goodbye breakfast, which Silas crashes. Sam and Lucy lecture him about compassion, but he apparently ignores them and heads to the airport with Rafe. Then suddenly Rafe is back at the lakehouse, and Silas is telling Sam that he's not going to New York after all. Also, Molly wrote a sequel to Love in Maine and dedicated it to Rafe. Ellie and Spinelli (...still funny) try to get Britt's file again, but Brad's pulled a Todd, moving it and leaving a note letting Ellie know she's fired. Spinelli Jackals him with (what turns out to be false) information from GH's HR handbook, so Ellie gets to keep her job. Meanwhile, Brad takes the file to Britt for safekeeping. Sabrina convinces Patrick to submit to a paternity test, then asks Ellie to run it using the blood sample Brad took from Britt. If there's one thing Ellie does well, it's perform secret tests to determine babies' parents, so she's all for it. Felix assists by getting Brad to follow him to the locker room for a peep show so they can make sure he's out of the lab. T.J. tells Shawn about his non-prom-night activities while Taylor tells Britt that she thinks having sex with T.J. will make him want to choose her over Molly. Britt tells her that she was in a similar situation, and look how that turned out? Luke asks Tracy to go with him to get his test results.

I knew they'd have to come up with a way to keep Rafe (and Silas) around, but I didn't think it would be so...anticlimactic. "We're leaving. Never mind!"

Heh, this is the third who-are-the-real-parents? storyline Ellie's been involved in. If she ever does get fired, she could start her own lab exclusively performing paternity tests. Considering where she lives, she'd make a killing.

I've been wanting a teen-pregnancy storyline for years, so I kind of hope T.J. and Taylor's condom broke.

"How is that any different from what you did?" What are you even talking about, Taylor? I'm fairly certain Felix hasn't had sex in at least six months. Also, he's an adult, so he can do whatever he wants. Also, he doesn't have a curfew. Also, shut up.

Britt's mentioned her mom a lot recently – are we in for a visit? And can she please bring Jerry with her?

June 20th, 2013

Dante tells Anna about Lulu's suspicion that Carly was involved in the hit. Olivia wakes up and is immediately concerned about Sonny, since she had that vision about him covered in blood. He asks why she tried to save him, and she tells him she would do anything for him. Shawn considers turning himself in, but Carly tries to talk him out of it (not because he would go to jail, but purely out of self-preservation). Kiki's tentative around Morgan, for some reason, and doesn't even want to take advantage of the privacy in the boathouse with him. Michael discovers that Morgan stole and maxed out his credit card, but when he goes to the Quartermaines' to confront him, he instead finds Kiki there changing. Silas explains that he brought Rafe back because it's not the right time for him to leave Sam and Danny. Then he undoes his goodwill by being arrogant again, this time by questioning Danny's treatment. Since he's been right more often than he's been wrong, Sam's willing to listen this time, and admits that Silas' suggestions for his treatment give her hope. Ava goes to ELQ looking for A.J. and instead meets Duke, who's very interested to encounter a Jerome. She claims again not to be related to the Port Charles Jeromes or even know that they were mobsters. Connie's starting to feel like a fifth wheel.

Good makeup on Lisa LoCicero today. She really looked like she'd been unconscious for a long time.

Please tell me Kiki was switched at birth with the real Lauren. Or that this isn't the real Franco. Or that somehow, someone here was adopted. Otherwise, this is all just...gross.

Never forget that when Shawn wanted to do the right thing, Carly tried to change his mind to save her own skin. Why would we expect anything else from her?

Did anyone else notice that Ava said she didn't know Julian or Victor, but she didn't say anything about Olivia? (Though it would be tricky for them to do anything with Olivia since we already have one of those.)

June 21st, 2013

Anna brings Carly in for questioning just as the police find what they think is the weapon from the hit. Carly gets the good cop/bad cop treatment from Anna and Dante, the latter of whom proves that he is unable to follow directions about not letting his temper show. Alexis lets Sonny know that she's figured everything out, but he still doesn't think she should know that Carly was involved. Shawn again considers turning himself in, despite Sonny's advice to just keep his mouth shut and let Carly fend for herself, I guess. Shawn goes to the police station anyway, arriving just as Carly decides she needs a lawyer. Before he can confess, Dante and Anna are sidetracked by the news that the gun the police found doesn't match the bullet that hit Olivia. Ava reveals that after she learned about the ELQ shares from Luke, she heard that A.J. and Tracy were going to be on The Chew and decided to go to the studio. She arrived after the poisoning and talked to the producer, who told her there was an unauthorized, unidentified person lurking around. She confirmed that it was Franco and is sure that he was behind the poisoning. Though Ava originally planned to trade that information to A.J. in exchange for money, now she wants to join forces with Franco (in exchange for money, of course). Morgan overhears her blackmailing her ex. Nikolas and Elizabeth hang out while Cameron and Spencer play, getting soaked by water guns. Nikolas' phone is damaged, so Cameron (who's apparently a tech wizard) fixes it. Spencer accidentally plays the recording of A.J. saying he slept with Carly. Morgan is grossed out about Kiki and Michael again, but Michael quickly changes the subject by confronting him over stealing and maxing out his credit card. Morgan spins a bunch of lies, first saying he was trying to win money to repay Sonny, then saying he wanted to help Kiki get out from under the Quartermaines. Duke and A.J. discuss the Jeromes; Duke doesn't trust Ava and thinks she might even have been behind the poisoning.

Diane is still Carly's lawyer? Even after she defended Franco? I guess Carly doesn't have a lot of choices left; it's Alexis or Diane.

Keep it up, Ava – you're quickly climbing the ranks in my list of favorite characters.

Speaking of lists, of all the people I thought might bust the A.J./Carly fling, Cameron and Spencer were definitely at the bottom of that list. Nicely done. Except now I expect Elizabeth and Nikolas to have to answer some birds-and-bees questions.

Thank you, show, for making up for all the recent Corinthos chestage with some Cassadine pecs.

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Felix enticing Brad; the newspaper article about Olivia's shooting said, "Usual suspects brought in for questioning"
Funniest moment (unintentional): I'm pretty sure Danny was trying to lick off his "rash"
Saddest moment: Molly and Rafe's goodbyes
Sweetest/cutest moment: Lucy, Molly, and Rafe sending Danny good thoughts
Least believable moments: The thought of killing Carly has crossed Sonny's mind for even a second; Monica's letting Franco stay at the house
Hero of the week: Cameron the phone fixer
Most annoying character: Taylor
Smartest character: Lulu
Dumbest character: Morgan, still
Things we learned this week: 1. There's a place in Port Charles called the Waffle Cottage.
2. Nikolas' chest has the same effect on Elizabeth as it does on me.
3. Cameron is a mini-Jackal.

June 22nd, 2013

Next week: Patrick, you are (not?) the father!

June 24th, 2013

The gun the police found isn't the one used to shoot Olivia, which means Shawn wasn't the one who hit her. Carly quickly shuttles him out of the PCPD before he can confess, and they go to the scene of the crime to retrieve his bullet, which he finds in a planter. Dante admits to Anna that he's relieved Shawn wasn't involved, since it means Sonny's in the clear, but this means they're out of suspects. That's lucky for the real shooter: Ava. Franco catches Morgan eavesdropping but doesn't do anything to threaten him or find out what he heard. And he did hear something, because he tells Kiki that her parents made some sort of deal. Speaking of deals, Ava presents hers to Franco again, and he agrees to cut her in on his ELQ machinations if she helps him connect with Kiki. Luke's liver is okay, but he has something toxic inside him that's slowly killing him. Elizabeth isn't thrilled with the fact that Nikolas bought insurance against A.J. in the form of his "affair" confession, but she's definitely less thrilled with A.J. Lucy convinces Laura to resurrect Deception with her. Michael and Kiki decide they need to stay away from each other. I'm sure that'll work out well.

What's with this show and planters? Baby in a planter, bullet in a planter...quick, we need a bear and a bottle to keep up the theme!

"Crouching Hormones, Hidden Intellect" – HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Weren't Luke and Laura knocked out in Greece? That's probably where the "toxic substance" was "introduced" into his system.

A.J., take a hint from Ross and practice this phrase: "We were on a break."

Yay, continuity people, for remembering that Lucy and Laura both ran Deception!

June 25th, 2013

Ava thinks that Franco can win Kiki over if the two of them pretend to get back together. I'm not quite sure how that tracks, but he's up for it. Luke gets a DVD from Helena, who confesses to poisoning him via his earring. She tells him there's a cure, but he'll have to figure out how to get it. The only clue she provides is that it's not at GH. Connie suspects that Sonny was behind the hit and tells Olivia that if it's true, she really is done with him. Olivia, however, thinks there's still something there. (And for the record, she doesn't seem to care too much if Sonny was behind the hit.) Shawn tells Sonny that he's innocent after all, but Sonny's still mad at Carly for lying. Also still mad: Elizabeth, who's not happy with A.J. and Carly's lies but can't really be mad about the sex itself, since A.J. didn't cheat. Nikolas thinks Alexis should dump Shawn now before she gets even more involved with a hitman.

Ava's taking that "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" saying to the extreme.

A poisoned earring. Really. I...don't know how to respond to that.

Carly cracked me up in her scenes with Elizabeth and A.J. We need more funny Carly.

I love that Sonny asked if Shawn was sure that the bullet from the planter was his. If not, whose would it be?

June 26th, 2013

Luke has radiation poisoning from polonium (I mean, of course), and for some reason he thinks Anna can help him find a cure. Felix can't keep his mouth shut, and he accidentally tips Britt off to the DNA test. She rushes to the hospital to stop it, but she's too late. Maxie admits to Spinelli that she's feeling connected to the baby. Lulu has baby angst, and also the reasonably smart idea to move to a bigger place. Laura wants to turn Deception into a wellness center. Mac and Felicia ask Duke and Anna to be their best man and maid of honor. Laura's worried about Luke.

How would Anna know more about radiation poisoning than a doctor? I'm at a loss.

Jeez, Felix, you had ONE job to do!

Writers, we know Maxie isn't going to tell Spinelli the truth about the baby with no buildup. There's going to have to be some major disaster that prompts it, or she'll be stranded somewhere and he'll deliver the baby and then she'll tell him, or something equally soapy. She's not just going to randomly say it on a Wednesday.

Lucy's going to be ticked that Felicia didn't ask her to be her matron of honor.

June 27th, 2013

Anna agrees to help Luke via her WSB contacts, though her own research is already helpful. Remember when Jerry was shot with a radioactive bullet, which led to him needing the $88 million for a cure? The radioactive agent on the bullet was the same thing used to poison Luke. Luke suspects that Helena sold Jerry the cure, and that if he can find Jerry, he can get his hands on it, too. Anna points out that Jerry's presumed dead, but Luke's too smart to think that way. Britt threatens to have Patrick, Sabrina, and Ellie fired if they look at the test results, so Patrick hands them over and she tears them up. This leads Patrick to believe that he was right about not being the father, because otherwise, why would Britt destroy the results? Since Ellie ran the test, she saw the results, and Britt agrees to let her reveal them so she can prove that Patrick's the father. Ellie confirms this, but when Britt shares the situation with Obrecht via text message, Obrecht says that she knew things would turn out all right. T.J. confronts Molly over kissing Rafe, but she explains that it was a goodbye and she didn't feel anything. They get back together, agreeing to put everything behind them (but, of course, he doesn't tell her about Taylor). As Molly's leaving, she runs into Taylor and gloats that she and T.J. made up. Taylor says that that must mean she knows about them having sex. Silas thinks Danny isn't going to respond to the chemo, so he should have a bone marrow transplant. He's also a jerk to Spinelli, and Sam isn't going to put up with that. Maxie's having a girl, and the news both shakes and excites her. Taylor tells Felix that she slept with T.J. and he hasn't called her since. Now suddenly Felix is all upset on her behalf, even though two seconds earlier he was shaming her for getting between T.J. and Molly.

Although I dearly hope that Luke's plot does lead to the return of Jerry, I think he's confusing "Jerry can help me" with "Jerry will help me." Also, I bet somewhere in here there's a trip to Switzerland.

So...Patrick isn't the father? Then how did Britt pull off the test results? Did Obrecht mess with the computer from a distance? And speaking of computers, I'm no tech guru, but wouldn't the results still be IN the computer? I don't think tearing up the paper with the results on it would actually do anything.

I'm also not a doctor, but I'm fairly sure you can't tell how chemo is working after TWO DAYS of treatment. Not that it matters ‐ obviously this story was going to come down to a bone marrow transplant. Now, they can go two different ways with this; one is interesting, though obvious, and the other is even more interesting, but less obvious. The first is to have Franco be a match. The second is to have no one be a match, and have Sam ask Alexis to help her find her birth father. (Pick #2! Pick #2!)

I loved the looks Molly and Taylor gave each other when they ran into each other, with each of them thinking they'd beaten the other.

Of course Maxie's baby's a girl. The last three babies born on this show were boys. And now she can name her Georgie!

Taylor, trust me, the way you feel about Felix telling you what kind of underwear he wears is the same way he feels about you telling him you had sex.

June 28th, 2013

Even though he's getting worse, Luke is determined to find Jerry and the cure, knowing he might not survive the adventure. This makes it harder for him to be happy over Lulu's baby news. Tracy is at first skeptical that Jerry is the key to Luke's survival, but then she changes her mind and decides to go with him. Carly wants Morgan out of the Quartermaines' immediately, and he's apparently forgotten that he's an adult and she can't make him do anything. Franco threatens to tell the police about the hit if Carly doesn't let Morgan stay. He and Ava also tell Kiki that they're back together, which she finds hard to believe. Molly thinks Taylor's lying about sleeping with T.J., but when she asks him about it, he comes clean. Fortunately, she has Rafe at home to comfort her. Sam senses that something's off with Shawn and Alexis, but Alexis won't talk about it. Shawn shows up to figure out where they stand, sharing the news that someone else shot Olivia. Dante tells Sonny that he knows he, Carly, and Shawn conspired to kill Franco. Sonny just says he doesn't know the whole story. Sonny wants Olivia to stay with him after she gets out of the hospital.

Yeah, yeah, baby girls are great – everyone knows there were only two options, right?

Uh, why does Franco care where Morgan lives? And I wish Carly would say, "Ha ha, the police already know I tried to kill you."

I have a feeling that if Olivia moves in with Sonny, she'll never move out.

Again, not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure Alexis can't donate bone marrow since she had cancer, too.

Injured: Morgan Corinthos

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Franco calling Morgan "Crouching Hormones, Hidden Intellect"; "You're right, Ma. We're having a dog"
Funniest moment (unintentional): Scott likes "a fair fight" (yeah, right)
Saddest moment: I kind of feel bad for Molly because of the whole T.J./Taylor thing, but since I prefer her with Rafe anyway, it's hard to really feel it
Sweetest/cutest moments: Anna being so upset over Helena's plotting that she cried; I still love Lulu and Tracy's relationship
Least believable moment: Shawn and Ava took shots at Franco at the exact same time, and they both missed
Hero of the week: Ava – not in the traditional sense, but because she came up with an awesome storyline
Most annoying character: Silas, of course
Smartest characters: Luke, for figuring out the Jerry/Helena connection, and for not believing that Jerry's dead; Kiki, for not believing Franco and Ava's charade
Dumbest character: Britt
Things we learned this week: More than we ever wanted to know about polonium.

June 29th, 2013

Next week: "Michael encounters something horrifying." Morgan and Kiki doing it? Franco and Ava doing it? Carly and A.J. doing it?

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