General Hospital blog - June, 2017

June 1st, 2017

Kiki has trouble dealing with Ava's condition, and not just because it's so serious. Dillon encourages her not to cut her mother off completely until she knows the full story of what happened with Morgan, so Kiki goes to Sonny for answers. Some idiot judge granted Julian bail, so Ava now has two people who care even slightly what happens to her. Dante's more surprised than he should be that Sonny doesn't care about Ava and is only interested in seeing her punished for Morgan's death. Jordan's worried that, between Ava's involvement in Morgan's death and Julian's freedom, the Corinthos/Jerome war could start back up. Finn wants Hayden to move in with him, but she's hesitant because his promise to support her decision about the baby didn't sound like rousing enthusiasm about being a father. When he assures her that he wants to create a family with her, Hayden gets on board. Alexis gets her law license back, then learns from Diane that Julian's out on bail. Despite Diane's threats to lock her in a closet to keep her from seeing her ex, Alexis goes straight to him. Nelle acts all sweet and stuff with Michael, who admits he cares about her, then acts snotty with Bobbie when she asks if Nelle still plans to leave town. Bobbie warns her not to go down the path Bobbie once went down, causing trouble to get what she wants.

Seriously, Dante, have you met your father? He doesn't care about Ava. He never has. Why expect sympathy now?

I guess the writers realized Julian had no plot in jail, since no one cares enough to visit him.

Excuse me, Hayden and Finn, but it's not the three of you – it's the four of you. I won't stand for this Roxie erasure.

Diane, if you were serious about locking Alexis in a closet, I'll help.

Ugh, shut up, Nelle.


June 2nd, 2017

Valentin bolts from the hospital and goes to the Falconeris', where Lulu has just learned that the WSB wants Anna to arrest him. She tells Valentin so he'll stay away from Charlotte and keep her from having to watch her father get arrested. She also thinks he'll have time to get Nora to file for Lulu to have custody so Charlotte won't become a ward of the state. The idea backfires, and Valentin grabs Charlotte and flees. Kiki feels guilty because Ava ruined Morgan's life for her. Sonny and Carly both assure her that she's not to blame in any way, and is really a victim as much as everyone else is. Carly wishes she knew for sure that Ava's going to be punished for her actions, so Sonny heads to the hospital to administer his own kind of justice. Ava's in bad enough shape that she actually asks him to kill her. Alexis briefly comforts Julian, then keeps him at a distance. He visits her at home, bringing her flowers to celebrate the return of her law license, and basically asks for another chance. She's not going to be granting that right now, but he's hopeful because she hasn't said they'll never get back together. Nathan tells Amy again to take his picture off of the Man Landers column, since being known as an advice columnist could affect his job as a cop. Kristina learns what's going on and tells her roommate to come clean and take credit for her own writing. Amy receives an offer for a book deal, but she'll have to meet with the publisher in person.

Honestly, I think I would have been disappointed if Valentin hadn't taken off with Charlotte. What's funny is that a few weeks ago, I thought they might write Emme Rylan out for maternity leave by having Lulu kidnap Charlotte and leave town.

Hey, Valentin fans, even Griffin thinks he's scum. What does that tell you?

Kristina, while you're calling Amy on her crap, can you hop over to your mom's house and do the same with her?

Okay, everyone can stop wondering if it's okay for Robin to fly right now. She's a doctor. She knows what she's doing.

Scorecard:
Injured: Valentin Cassadine, Ava Jerome

Week in review:
Funniest moment (intentional): Alexis: "Stay out of my head." Diane: "Your head is the last place I want to be right now. Unfortunately, it's sitting there, right across from me, being incredibly stupid"
Funniest moment (unintentional): N/A
Saddest moment: Kiki feeling guilty about what Ava did to Morgan
Sweetest/cutest moment: Hi, Avery! 'Bye, Avery!
Least believable moment: Julian made bail
Best instance of continuity: N/A
Worst instance of continuity: Dante to Sonny: "Prosecuting Ava isn't a priority right now." (Five minutes later) Dante to Jordan: "Why isn't prosecuting Ava a priority right now?"
Hero of the week: Elizabeth
Most annoying character: Nelle
Smartest character: Elizabeth, I guess
Dumbest characters: Ava, Lulu

The week in a nutshell:


June 5th, 2017

Valentin takes Charlotte to Niagara Falls, a place she's been wanting to go, which oh so conveniently happens to be right on the Canadian border. While Valentin makes arrangements for fake documents, Lulu calls Charlotte's cell phone and learns that she and Valentin are on a "trip." Anna and Nathan turn to Nina for help, but she doesn't know where Valentin would have taken Charlotte, and she implies that she might not say anything if she did. Nina doesn't think Valentin should be punished for a mistake he made when he was younger, since apparently everyone else involved in the theft and sale of the chimera is guilty but he had no choice in the matter. Anna and Nathan wear her down by pointing out that if Anna isn't the one to find Valentin, other, less potentially sympathetic agents will, and he could get shot again, this time in front of Charlotte. Sonny contemplates different ways to make Ava suffer, but is leaning toward letting her live when Griffin chases him off. Meanwhile, Carly tells Jason that she's not going to stop Sonny if he wants to kill Ava. In the end, Sonny decides it's better to leave her alone, then kill her when she's done suffering. Ava's pretty miserable and hopeless, so Griffin prays with her. Elizabeth worries that she's a bad mother for not knowing that Jake was on the verge of doing something horrible. She and Laura both have a hard time resenting Valentin for playing hero, and both feel sorry for Lulu for having to raise a child with him. Elizabeth thinks Valentin could end up redeeming himself, since that happens to some people, you know. Also, if the musical score is any indication, the packing receipt that came with the magic set is important.

Oh, yeah, going on the run is totally what's "best for Charlotte." Can it, Valentin.

Ha, NOW Griffin's concerned about patient confidentiality.

Part of me thinks Sonny doesn't want to kill Ava because he'd be giving her something she wants.

Nope, still don't feel sorry for Ava. This is going to be a loooooooong plotline.


June 6th, 2017

"Gaspar" and "Genevieve" are unable to cross the border before Anna, Lulu, and Dante track them down. Valentin says goodbye to Charlotte, who goes home with the Falconeris while Anna prepares to arrest Valentin. He pulls a gun and tries to take her hostage, but it's Anna, so that doesn't work. Valentin says he hopes that Anna's past sins never come back to haunt her like his are, because she'll be in for a lot of punishment. Whatever, dude, you're going to prison. (Okay, probably not really.) Spencer sneaks out of school and turns up in Port Charles, determined to "vanquish" Valentin and get Wyndemere back. Laura's hesitant to let him stay but ultimately gives in. Lucas makes it clear that there's no place for Julian in his life, and he has no sympathy for him. Julian does get some sympathy from Alexis, and he gets to meet Scout, so I guess his life doesn't completely suck. Alexis avoids a conversation about Julian by telling Sam she looks tired and sending her to a spa so she can get a break from parenting. This doesn't work, as Sam is too busy worrying about her family's safety to relax. Jason thinks that the Ava confrontation will make Sonny and Carly grow close again.

Lucas! Spencer! Scout! This was a good day.

"I want to be from Narnia!" I love Charlotte SO MUCH.

What's this? A character having a realistic psychological response to years of trauma? Amazing!

I'm disappointed that Sam didn't catch Julian with Alexis and Scout. I would have liked to see her go off on him.


June 7th, 2017

Mac (hi, Mac!) wonders if Anna will testify to put Valentin behind bars or stonewall to help him. She knows that her testimony is the only thing that could convict him, since she doesn't have evidence or his confession on tape. Then there's another wrench in the works as Alex has escaped from WSB custody. Lulu tells Valentin that Nina turned him in, but he doesn't take it personally. Nina struggles with her feelings for her husband and their family, then makes the smartest move she's ever made: She gives him divorce papers. Hayden gets in some parenting practice by offering to look after Spencer and Cameron for the day. She lasts about ten minutes before having to call Laura for help, since the boys are fighting (about Emma, naturally) and throwing whipped cream at each other. Hayden confides that she's pregnant, and Laura assures her that she'll be able to handle being a mother. Curtis is looking forward to spending his birthday with Jordan, but his plans may have to change when his Jordan-hating Aunt Stella comes for a surprise visit. Dante and Lulu are allowed to take in Charlotte, but Lulu worries that she'll blame her some day for helping put her father in prison. Obrecht objects when Griffin asks Finn to consult on Ava's case, because of course she does. Finn gets yet another drug test back with positive results, and this time Brad isn't responsible, so Griffin thinks he really has relapsed.

Gee, I wonder who that is at the PCPD, visiting Valentin? Come on, editors.

It's June 7th and Valentin and Nina are done, which means my prediction of a six-month marriage was pretty dang close.

How many bedrooms do the Falconeris have? There are six people staying at their house right now. Maybe Laura and Spencer can get Wyndemere back?

Please tell me this is another set-up and Finn and Griffin aren't actually this dumb. (Have I said this before? I feel like I've said this before.)

If Finn joins Ava's case, are we going to get a scene where she thinks he's Silas? Will he get a scene with Kiki? They totally dropped his resemblance to Silas.


June 8th, 2017

Valentin somehow immediately knows his visitor is Alex, not Anna, but he's not interested in chatting. She changes his mind by pointing out that their convictions depend on each other, so there's a way they can both avoid prison. Valentin immediately agrees to whatever Alex's plan is, and when Anna lets him make a video goodbye message for Charlotte, he promises he'll see his daughter again. Sonny thinks Nelle could help provide evidence against Ava, since she saw Ava in Morgan's room the night Lucy saw her throw away the pills. Carly isn't sure Nelle would be willing to help them, but Nelle easily agrees. Carly figures it's mostly because she knows she'll look good to Michael, though at this point, Michael has pretty much forgiven her and is two seconds away from making out with her. Curtis tries to defend Jordan to Stella without admitting that they're involved. Stella is a negative amount of interested in seeing Jordan, so of course, Jordan shows up. Dillon encourages Kiki to be there for Ava despite the horrible things she's done. This leads to Kiki arriving at the hospital just as Ava has talked herself into dying. Jordan asks T.J. again if he's okay with her and Curtis seeing each other, like, is this really the best use of Tequan Richmond's time?

I like that they keep giving Alex and Anna different hairstyles so we always know which is which, but it means no wacky twin-switch scenes.

I'm not sure what good a deposition from Nelle, a known liar, would do, but I guess this is the first stop on her tour of redemption.

Where's Kristina? I need her to talk some sense into her brother.

Every time Jordan asks T.J. if he's okay with her dating Curtis, it just makes her look less certain about it.


June 9th, 2017

It takes some work, but Griffin revives Ava, so...thanks for that, Griffin. Kiki's still angry about what her mother did to Morgan, but she doesn't want to lose her. Once Ava's been stabilized, Carly and Sonny confide in each other that her death would help them recover. Carly may not need that, though, because somehow knowing that Ava was responsible for Morgan's death makes her feel better about Sonny's lies and hypocrisy. Anyway, there's making out. Dante questions Lucy, who finally learns that Ava switched Morgan's pills. She figures out that Scott was behind the swap, and now Dante has someone new to focus on. Scott tries to get Lucy to shut up, but she's furious that he would be an accessory to something so horrible that happened to someone's child. Curtis tries to take some heat off of Jordan by telling Stella that he's responsible for Thomas' death, since he's the one who told Thomas about Jordan's affair, leading Thomas to confront Shawn. Jordan also hates herself for what happened, and Curtis is worried that she'll feel too guilty to continue their relationship. Also, Stella doesn't know that Shawn is T.J.'s biological father, and she would probably go nuclear if she found out. Finn tells Hayden that he was suspended for his latest positive drug test, and she finally figures out that Obrecht must be messing with them. Scott tells Julian that he may be able to convince a jury that Liv coerced Julian into all his crimes. Julian thinks the universe is messing with him, since he might be given freedom just as Ava's dying.

Ugh, just when Nina wants out of her bad relationship, Carly wants back into hers.

So when does Martina come back to town pregnant? I assume that's the only reason she was on in the first place.

Lucy's earning back some points with me. Keep it up, Luce.

To sum up today's episode: Everything is Scott's fault.

So it's agreed: No one can ever tell Stella about T.J.'s real paternity. Now someone tell T.J. that's the plan.

No Franco or Amy this week. Thanks, show!

Scorecard:
Arrested: Valentin Cassadine
Back in town: Spencer Cassadine
New in town: Stella...Something

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Sam: "This is the first time I've raised a kid from scratch"; Laura: "That is shameless." Spencer: "Where has shame ever gotten anyone?"
Funniest moment (unintentional): N/A
Saddest moment: Kiki's sadness still makes me sad
Sweetest/cutest moment: Laura encouraging Hayden
Least believable moment: It only takes one commercial break to get from Port Charles to Niagara Falls
Best instance of continuity: Nelle saw Ava in Morgan's room right after she switched the pills
Worst instance of continuity: Charlotte and Rocco were in school but none of the other kids on or mentioned that day were
Hero of the week: Griffin, if you want to see it that way
Most annoying character: Obrecht
Smartest character: Alex, I guess
Dumbest characters: Finn and Griffin

The week in a nutshell:


June 12th, 2017

Josslyn interrupts Carly and Sonny's reunion and blasts her mother for going back to the worst thing that's ever happened to her. She points out that Carly's setting a bad example, making it seem like Josslyn shouldn't strive to be with someone who's better than just adequate, and blasts her for excusing the pain Sonny's caused her by saying she's caused him pain, too. Carly argues that she's being mature because in the past, she would have just walked away instead of fighting for her relationship. Josslyn doesn't buy it, because Josslyn is the smartest person in this entire plotline. Ava tries to apologize to Kiki for her misdeeds, but Kiki gets distracted by the discovery that Ava has signed a DNR. Scott tries to make Laura think he's not an awful person, and so far, she's snowed. He goes to the hospital and asks Dillon if Ava's said anything incriminating, making Dillon realize that he's there to protect himself, not because he really cares about Ava or Kiki. Dillon throws a punch, earning himself 5,000 points with me. Jordan worries that at some point, Stella will ask Curtis to choose between the two of them. Curtis thinks that Stella will come around on their relationship, but they'll have to tread lightly. Stella runs into T.J., who's surprised she still wants to be in his life. He's about to let it slip that Shawn is his biological father when Jordan and Curtis show up. Stella yells at Jordan for keeping T.J. from her side of the family, and she doesn't accept Jordan's tearful apology or promise to do things better in the future. Everyone calls a truce, but Stella's going to be staying in town longer than she'd planned, so they're going to have to tread lightly for a while. Laura and Spencer visit Sonny, and he tells Laura that he thinks the divorce is off.

Team Joss! No one wants her mom to get back together with the guy who got her father deported. Also, I hope she grows up to be a therapist. She and Kristina can open a practice telling people to get their lives together.

If Sonny and Carly don't end up getting divorced, the whole Martina thing really was for nothing.

Hold on, I need to watch Dillon deck Scott a few dozen more times.

"Sassy!" Hee hee hee. I bet Laura wonders on a daily basis how she wound up with a grandson like Spencer.


June 14th, 2017

Spinelli (the original; accept no substitutions) comes to town to track down the delivery guy, Costa, who Jason recognizes as one of Helena's minions just as he shows up at the hospital, posing as an employee. Anna takes Valentin's video message to Lulu, who doesn't think Charlotte should hear it right now. Anna disagrees and bugs her about it for a while. Nina shows up with a present for Charlotte, and when Lulu sees how well Charlotte handles learning that Nina won't be in her life as much anymore, she changes her mind about the message. Carly actually listened to Josslyn and thinks she's right that Carly and Sonny keep making the same mistakes over and over. She still wants a divorce, but she's willing to let Sonny take back his assets. Elizabeth confides in Andre that she's worried about Jake's recovery since he hasn't talked about the chimera incident at all. Andre promises to look for answers, but instead tells Jake that he's safe and isn't a bad guy. Sam thinks Jason should let the WSB handle finding the person who delivered the magic set to Jake, but Jason points out that the WSB is the reason the chimera exists in the first place. Also, Sam's paranoia has progressed to hallucinating Elizabeth pointing a gun at her, so maybe she's not the best person to make big decisions right now. Amy asks Nathan to meet with the publisher so she can get her book deal, but he refuses. He'll probably change his mind after he hears her on the phone, tearfully talking to someone about needing money.

What an odd way to reintroduce Spinelli. He's just...suddenly there.

Watch yourself, Anna. You're sounding Alex-ish.

Claudette never taught Charlotte how to make s'mores? I knew she was evil.

Heh, Carly totally would try to get Brenda deported if she could.

Shoot, I was really looking forward to Sonny having to live above Kelly's like a townie.

Hey, Jason, instead of telling Sam to call in help, why don't YOU watch your kid? Is there a reason you and Spinelli had to meet up in some empty room that I think may have once been your apartment but I'm really not sure?


June 15th, 2017

As Spinelli tries to track him down, Costa lurks at the hospital, watching Jake and Elizabeth. Spinelli tracks Costa's credit card and sees that he bought scrubs, making Jason realize that he's at the hospital, pretending to be an employee. He warns Elizabeth, who locks herself and Jake in a room with Griffin while Jason goes on a manhunt. He and Costa end up on the roof, and unlike when they were on Cassadine Island, Costa doesn't have an advantage in hand-to-hand combat as Jason isn't tied up this time. Julian asks Olivia if he can see Leo, which is the last thing she wants. Alexis jumps in to point out that he has legal rights to his son, so Olivia should just give in and avoid a custody battle. Then Sam jumps in as well, blasting her mother for siding with Julian after everything he's done. Alexis notices that something is off with her, but Sam doesn't want to talk to her while she's aligning herself with a criminal. Griffin thinks Sam has PTSD from her experience with Liv, but Sam figures that, after a lifetime of traumatic events, this one wouldn't leave her in any different shape. Amy brushes Nathan off, then acts weird with Dillon, making Nathan think that something's really wrong. He asks Dillon about what Amy was like in high school, then starts to get an idea when talk turns to Amy's athlete brother Chet.

Way to go, hospital security. Try checking employees' IDs so random people can't pretend they work there.

On top of never telling Stella about T.J.'s paternity, we also need to never tell Sam that Julian already met Scout.

I'm not sure what good Kelly would do Sam if she has PTSD. Griffin should have pointed her toward Kevin or Andre instead.

Unless he's hot, I don't care about Chet. Even then...no promises.


June 16th, 2017

Jason and Costa throw each other around a bunch but nothing really gets accomplished. Costa says he was just carrying out Helena's orders, and implies that he's a victim of her programming like Jason was. Meanwhile, Sam encounters Kevin and confides in him that she has a bad feeling about Jason's lateness to meet her. They talk about how resistant Jason has always been, and how difficult it was for him to be under Helena's control. When Kevin learns that all non-emergencies at the hospital have been cancelled for the day, Sam's bad feeling leads her to GH, where she follows the police to the roof to stop Jason and Costa's fight. Jason tells everyone that the stuff with Helena seems to finally be over, even though Costa just told him it wasn't. As he debriefs Elizabeth, Sam has a vision of him bleeding and admits that there's definitely something wrong with her. Things are tense at the Falconeris' as Spencer's mad at Charlotte for taking his house and the life he should be living. Laura gives him a talking-to, deciding in the process that it would be best for everyone if she and Spencer moved out. It takes some convincing, but Kevin talks her into moving in with him. Charlotte's worried that Lulu and Dante will be mad that she misses Valentin and Nina, but they assure her that it's okay for her to love both sides of her family. Other than that, the four Falconeris are getting along extremely well, and everyone's happy, which I'm sure will last. Hayden tells Elizabeth she's pregnant and asks how she's supposed to parent when there are dangers lurking around every corner. Elizabeth gives her some encouragement, but it's some one-on-one time with Jake that makes Hayden see that not all kids are uncontrollable beasts. Amy's brother Chet was injured in Afghanistan, and she needs money to pay his hospital bills and keep him in a group home. Nathan is Nathan, so he'll compromise his own values to help her.

Today's episode description: "Jason learns the truth." ...What? What did he learn?

Is Sam psychic now? Is she the new Olivia? I miss her premonitions.

I like when they give Sam and Kevin scenes together, since Kelly Monaco and Jon Lindstrom worked together all the time on Port Charles but never get to anymore.

If Chet inspired Man Landers, then why didn't Amy use his picture instead of Nathan's? Ugh, this plot is dumb.

Scorecard:
Back in town: Damian Spinelli

Week in review:
Funniest moment (intentional): Jason enticing Spinelli to do some criminal hacking
Funniest moment (unintentional): Charlotte's "yeah, I've noticed that Spencer is weird" face
Saddest moment: Nina telling Charlotte they won't be seeing each other as much anymore
Sweetest/cutest moment: Griffin playing patient so Jake could pretend to be a doctor
Least believable moment: N/A
Best instances of continuity: Lila's Kids is back for another summer; Kevin was one of Jason's doctors after his accident
Worst instance of continuity: Griffin disappeared between episodes
Heroes of the week: Jason and Spinelli
Most annoying character: Anna
Smartest character: Josslyn, who, despite having never been in a relationship, knows how they should work
Dumbest character: Costa

The week in a nutshell:


June 19th, 2017

Nelle gets a job offer thanks to a referral from Michael, and when she goes to talk to him about it, she overhears him and Carly talking about her. Michael tells his mother that he thinks Nelle deserves some credit for trying to make up for her past misdeeds. Nelle tells him she turned down the job because she'd be working for a subsidiary of ELQ and doesn't want Carly to find out she's basically working for Michael. He says Carly will eventually have to come to terms with the two of them having a relationship, which is news to Nelle. Griffin asks Sonny straight out if he's planning to kill Ava, as if Sonny would admit it if he were. He says he's not, so Griffin brings up one of his favorite subjects, forgiveness. Sonny turns it back on him, asking if he'll ever be able to forgive Julian for killing Duke. Griffin is civil to Julian when they run into each other later, but it's clear it won't be easy for him to let go of the past. Spencer questions Kevin's intentions with Laura, like, they've been together for a year – calm down. Ned tries to talk Olivia out of taking Julian to court for custody of Leo, pointing out that right now she can control his visitation, but if she loses in court, she might not be able to. He also wants to get married right away, like in two weeks. Julian is upset to see that Ava signed a DNR and tries to give her some encouragement, reminding her that they've come through hard times before. Epiphany is resistant to let Ava see how she looks, with good reason, since Ava's pretty horrified by it. Sam freaks out again, tries to put it behind her, freaks out some more, and decides to sleep with a knife under her pillow, so yeah, she's doing great. There's some problem with liquor tariffs at Sonny's casino, and since Carly still owns it, he needs her to go with him to fill out some paperwork.

This was originally a Friday episode? Eh.

Nelle: "I would just prefer not to cause any more trouble for either of you." Can I get that in writing?

I'm sure Spencer's scrutiny of Kevin is supposed to be cute, but it's really not.

I don't get how it would be a conflict of interest if Diane worked for Olivia. Please explain, Diane.

Time for Ava to have a session or 18 with a psychiatrist.


June 20th, 2017

Josslyn thinks that Sonny took Carly to the island as a ploy to get her back, and that Carly's going to fall for it. Michael tells her they have to stay out of it, and though Josslyn doesn't ever have to forgive Sonny, Michael has learned that you need to keep your ties to your family. On the island, Carly has the same suspicions as Josslyn when the guy she and Sonny are supposed to meet with can't come until later in the day. He pleads innocence, but who knows? Josslyn decides to take advantage of an empty house to do some preteen rebelling. An old associate named Garvey tries to tempt Julian with the idea of teaming up to take Sonny down. Alexis eavesdrops as Julian says he's going to stick to the right side of the law, partially because he wants to stay out of prison and partially because he wants to turn his life around. Garvey still plans to go after Sonny alone, and after Alexis asks Julian what he'll do with that information, he shares it with Sam and Jason. Nelle tries to get a job at Kelly's, which Bobbie shuts down immediately. Nelle asks her to back off since she's trying to make amends, and Bobbie asks her to stay away from Michael. She then goes to her grandson to ask the nature of their relationship. Nina saves Nelle from a catfight with Bobbie, then offers her a job as an executive assistant/office manager. Amy and Nathan's meeting with a publisher (or whoever) named Quinn Danvers (...sigh) goes well, but for some reason they need to do a photo shoot with Nathan right now, which he's not going to like. Also, Nina thinks there's something going on between them. Now that Sam has gotten some sleep, I'm sure all of her problems will be over.

I am 150% behind a plot where Josslyn acts out and drives Carly nuts.

Don't worry, Nelle, you don't have to know anything about publishing or fashion to work at a fashion magazine. Not in this universe, at least.

Yeah, no one that age is named Quinn.

If I were watching the show for the first time today, I would think that Sam wants to kill Jason.


June 21st, 2017

Carly and Sonny reminisce on the island, and he suggests that they might end up being as happy as they used to be. Carly's will power is waning, and there's some kissing. Michael offers Jason a job at ELQ; he's clearly not interested but Sam thinks he should take it since it's safer than his usual line of work. Jason tells her he won't be doing either job, but he does want to go to the island to warn Sonny about Garvey, since he's not answering his phone. Sam invites herself along for the trip. Laura and Kevin explain to Spencer why Valentin got all the Cassadine assets, and that Nina probably gets to decide what happens to Wyndemere. Spencer sneaks out and goes over to Crimson to talk to her. Amy gets Quinn to agree to use Nathan's picture without showing his whole face, so everyone's happy. Michael invites Nelle to a concert to celebrate her new job. Dante and Lulu try to come up with explanations for Valentin's departure without telling Charlotte the truth. Nelle thinks Charlotte would benefit if Nina stayed in her life.

Yo, Garvey, I'm not saying I want you to shoot anyone, but if you need to go to extremes to keep Carly and Sonny from going further than kissing, I'll look the other way.

Carly: "What are we drinking to?" Me: "Lowered inhibitions."

Exactly which part of this job did Michael think would appeal to Jason?

I'm more interested in hearing more about Tito the parrot than I am in watching any more of Amy and Nathan's plot.


June 22nd, 2017

Sam tells Jason that she's been having "episodes" where she feels like he's in danger. She decides she's being ridiculous and tells him he should go to Puerto Rico after all, but now he doesn't want to leave her. She talks him into it, not seeing how bad her anxiety is getting. Molly comes by and guesses that Sam is just spreading around the worry she has over the baby. After she leaves, Sam has another "episode," imagining Sonny telling her that Jason belongs to him again. Sonny and Carly get interrupted by the liquor distributor, then pass the time playing poker and not talking about their kiss. Sonny makes a comment about the divorce that rubs Carly the wrong way, and suddenly the fun they were managing to have together ends. Then Garvey shows up, so the party's definitely over. Curtis convinces Jordan not to keep her distance while Stella is in town, not realizing that that's the least of their problems right now. See, no one filled Molly in on that agreement we all had not to tell Stella about T.J.'s paternity, and she spills the beans. Stella immediately tears into Jordan for being an unfaithful liar right in front of a bunch of her officers. Nina tells Spencer that if Valentin goes to prison, his assets will probably go into a trust for Charlotte. Spencer thinks his best bet is to go to the Hague and talk to Valentin himself. Fortunately, Laura and Kevin show up and take his phone, in the process seeing that he's really struggling with Nikolas' death. But they're still not sympathetic enough to let him hire a lawyer for whatever his plan B is.

Sam, your feelings aren't silly but your shirt is. On the plus side, if you do go to Puerto Rico, you're already dressed for the beach.

Kelly Monaco's doing a great job playing anxious, though.

Oh, Molly. Poor, sweet, clueless Molly.

Spencer, that "diminutive golddigger" is your cousin and she's, like, six, so chill.


June 23rd, 2017

Carly and Sonny barely manage to protect each other from Garvey until Jason arrives to save the day. (Also, Carly accidentally grazes him with a bullet, which shouldn't be funny but is.) Jason heads home but Carly stays back and things between her and Sonny turn semi-romantic again. Monica tries to talk Sam out of going to Puerto Rico, reminding her that Jason can take care of himself. Sam has convinced herself that Sonny wants Jason back in the business, and that danger is just around the corner. She has a vision of Sonny confirming this, as well as telling her that she's going crazy and will have her kids taken away because of it. Michael and Nelle agree not to talk about their haters, which means they can't really talk about anyone other than themselves. After learning a little more about each other, they do the kissing thing. Josslyn's friend Trina invites a bunch of people over to Carly's empty house, and though things don't get out of control, as you'd expect, there's alcohol and skinny-dipping in the hot tub. Josslyn gets closer to her crush, Oscar, and tries to make it seem like drinking isn't a big deal. Stella calls Jordan all sorts of names, including Jezebel, until Curtis arrives and makes them take things out of the common area. Stella yells some more, then storms off, going back to Kelly's to see T.J. He calms her down, assuring her that he still sees himself as an Ashford and doesn't hold anything against his mother or Curtis. Jordan thinks it's time for Curtis to make the choice she feared he'd have to make – her or Stella – but he's not going to do it. He's also not going to agree to call things off.

I don't know why I find Carly shooting Jason so funny, but here we are.

Can't wait till Sam's having public conversations with her hallucinations and everyone's like, "You're just stressed! Go get some sleep!"

Nelle and Michael, for the love of all things holy, use protection.

I kind of hope Oscar turns out to be from a rival mob family. It would be Josslyn's ultimate revenge on Sonny.

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Molly, re: Jason and Scrabble: "I swear, he is gonna learn to love multisyllabic words"; Sonny teasing Carly about shooting Jason; Jason toasting to Sam not killing him
Funniest moment (unintentional): Josslyn's classmates' habit of chanting things they're excited about
Saddest moment: Spencer talking for the first time about how much he misses Nikolas
Sweetest/cutest moment: N/A
Least believable moment: Nathan has to do a photo shoot right away
Best instance of continuity: N/A
Worst instance of continuity: Michael said that Josslyn didn't misbehave as a kid, which is definitely not how I remember things
Heroes of the week: Jason; Felipe the liquor distributor, for breaking up the Sonny/Carly kissage
Most annoying character: Spencer, unfortunately
Smartest character: T.J.
Dumbest character: Josslyn

The week in a nutshell:


June 26th, 2017

Carly tries to resist Sonny again, but after she admits that she was scared she might lose him when Garvey showed up, they both agree that they can't live without each other. They have sex, and he tells her he'll ensure their future by leaving the business. Carly and I are both doubtful. Michael and Nelle also have sex, and I don't want to think about it. Hayden asks Curtis to help her and Finn prove that Obrecht tampered with Finn's drug tests. Curtis would rather talk about the baby he's figured out she's pregnant with. Finn comes over just in time to hear Hayden admit that she's not sure she wants to be a mother after all. Bobbie busts up Josslyn's party and lectures her about being irresponsible. Josslyn manages to get her to agree not to tell Carly, but there's a bottle that doesn't get cleaned up, so Josslyn might get busted again. Ava's all depressed and stuff, and doesn't want Kiki and Scott to come visit when she's such a monster. Even after Scott confirms that Ava's not going to rat on him to the police, he claims he still cares about her. Griffin encourages Kiki to seek therapy for help dealing with her complicated emotions about her mother. Julian runs into Alexis and thinks that because she's eating ice cream, something she rarely does, she's looking for ways to distract herself from thoughts of drinking. He offers to take a drive with her and listen to music, but she makes it extremely clear that they're not going to be rekindling things. Finn tells Griffin his suspicions about Obrecht, and it looks like Griffin accepts this as a possibility.

Hayden still lives at the Quartermaines'? Don't they find that kind of weird?

Curtis is a better detective than I thought.

Haaaaaaa, someone finally called Griffin on always telling people to forgive. Thanks, Kiki.

Really, anyone who's had a storyline involving a Jerome should be in therapy.

Michael Easton's hair is approaching Silas length. Can we do something about that?


June 27th, 2017

Carly points out how difficult it will be for Sonny to leave the business – his enemies will still see him as a target, he has no successor, etc. Kristina's also skeptical that he'll follow through, since she thought things would change after Morgan's death, but nothing did. Sonny sticks to his decision and gets the ball rolling by telling Lucy he's selling his restaurant. Monica downplays Sam's anxiety while Jason was gone, but she's so worked up about what happened in Puerto Rico that Jason can no longer brush it aside. Sam gets defensive and agitated when Jason says that she seems to be overreacting to situations that she's handled fine in the past. He points out that she's not acting like herself and convinces her to see a doctor. Obrecht compliments Kiki's work at the hospital, then offers to help her get ahead if Kiki will let her know of anything the other staff members say that might be of interest. She implies that Monica's on her way out, and Obrecht wants her job back. Hayden, Finn, and Curtis tell Monica how they're plotting against Obrecht, and she wants in. She outfits Curtis with an IT uniform and invites him to hang around the hospital and gather information. When Kiki tells Monica that she thinks Obrecht wants her to be a spy, Monica says that's exactly what she'll be doing. Hayden confides in Curtis that she's not sure about the stability of her soon-to-be family, what with Finn still dealing with his addiction. Curtis wonders if she's worried about being a perfect parent, since she doesn't have much experience with exemplary parents. Finn assures Hayden that they'll deal with anything that comes their way. Kristina catches Alexis and Julian talking, but Alexis promises that everything's innocent and no one's getting back together. She thanks Julian for helping her get through the urge to drink, then repeats that they have no future together.

Whoever made the decision to fire Rebecca Budig can bite me multiple times. Michael Easton should probably be worried.

I think A. Martinez left his soap – can we get Roy back?

This plot can't end any way other than with Obrecht getting fired, yes?

God bless you, Kiki, for knowing who to side with.


June 28th, 2017

Carly finds the bottle, so Josslyn's busted and in a ton of trouble. She tries to argue that Carly makes bad decisions, too, but Carly's not throwing parties without permission and engaging in underage drinking, so she doesn't really have a leg to stand on. Bobbie runs into Sonny and asks about his and Carly's status, but he tells her to talk to Carly about it. Carly tells her they're back together, which Josslyn overhears. Ava's well enough to be interviewed by the police, and she plans to tell the truth and face whatever consequences come. Julian thinks she should fight, since that's what he's doing and he thinks it'll work out for him. Sonny reveals that he's filing for sole custody of Avery, and that Carly will be remaining in her life. Ava must be really bad off if that doesn't make her mad. Alexis tells Spencer that she might be able to get him all of Valentin's assets once Valentin eventually dies, but until then, there's nothing she can do. Spencer decides to speed up the process by asking Sonny to kill Valentin. Olivia and Charlotte become fast friends, and Charlotte agrees to be the flower girl at Ned and Olivia's wedding. Charlotte's more observant than Lulu thinks and has guessed that Valentin might be gone for a long time. Fortunately, she's adjusting really well to her new family and is able to still find things to be happy about.

I don't even know where to start with the news that Steve Burton is coming back. I just don't want this to turn into some mess with this Jason not being the real Jason. Let's not go there.

It's a conflict of interest for Alexis to represent Spencer, but not for Dante to interview Ava. OKAY.

If the news about Carly and Sonny's reconciliation doesn't make Ava want to fight for her freedom and her recovery, nothing will.

It's a tiny bit funny that Nikolas pulled all his schemes to get money for Spencer, and all of it's going to Valentin.


June 29th, 2017

Josslyn yells at Carly about being a hypocrite and going back to someone who keeps hurting her and all that stuff. Finally she says that Carly's free to go back to Sonny, but Josslyn won't be going with her – she'll move to Australia and live with Jax. Carly plans to figure out how to keep both Sonny and Josslyn. Sonny tells Spencer that he's not going to let Spencer be responsible for someone's death, since he knows Spencer wouldn't be able to live with himself. Spencer figures Sonny would know where he's coming from, since he lost Morgan, but that experience taught Sonny that revenge doesn't make you feel better. Ava changes her mind and refuses to give Dante a statement about Morgan's death, infuriating him. Bobbie confides in Dante that she wants Ava to face the maximum punishment possible, but they both know there's not much they can do about the situation. Scott confirms again that Ava isn't going to sell him out, and she again promises she won't. Then she tells him to stop caring and leave her alone. Quinn invites Nina to sit in on Nathan's photo shoot, planning to give Crimson an exclusive feature on the book. Amy's unable to keep her away, so Nina is now in on the scheme. Laura gives Kevin an out on their relationship, but he's still willing to put up with Spencer to be with her, so he must really love her.

Some people on this show should take parenting lessons from Laura.

"I'm truly disappointed in you," says the 12-year-old who just put out a hit on someone.

It feels like it took longer for Laura and Kevin to get to Pozzulo's than it did for anyone to get to or from Puerto Rico.

This Nathan/Amy plot is so dumb that they're now manufacturing unnecessary drama. Come back soon, Maxie!


June 30th, 2017

Monica, Finn, and Hayden put their plan in motion, making sure Obrecht follows Curtis to the lab where he's supposedly looking for a video file. Obrecht kicks him out and tells Kiki to find the video, admitting that it's of her tampering with Finn's test. Everyone's on hand to hear this, including Jordan, who immediately arrests Obrecht. Michael and Nelle are all shiny and happy, and he wants her to come to Ned and Olivia's wedding with him, but neither of them knows that Sonny and Carly are going to be invited, so that should be fun. Ned asks Dillon to be his best man, which is apparently a super-huge deal instead of inevitable. The Quartermaines are all happy about their bright future, and I'm sure nothing will go wrong and ruin everything. Olivia finds Nina crying over her divorce papers, and though Olivia isn't a fan of Valentin's, she feels bad that Nina's ending something she thought was going to last forever. Nina isn't completely sure she's making the right decision, but she makes herself sign the papers anyway. Then she gets a phone call that I'm guessing is from Valentin. Anna has officially done a complete 180 on Valentin and doesn't think he should be punished for something Alex made him do. Andre takes her to a dance studio to get her mind off of things, and after they disco together, they kiss.

Seriously, though. Obrecht has to get fired for this, right?

Of course Dillon was going to be Ned's best man. Ned's only other option is Jax, who a) he hasn't had a scene with in years, and who b) isn't allowed in the country. But who's going to be Olivia's maid of honor?

I guess our Valentin vacation ends next week. I'm still basking in our Franco vacation, though.

I just...don't see Anna and Andre together.

Scorecard:
Arrested: Liesl Obrecht
Back together: Carly and Sonny Corinthos

Week in review:
Funniest moment (intentional): Nerdy Curtis (Nerdis?)
Funniest moment (unintentional): Hayden sprinting over to intercept Jordan so she wouldn't see Curtis
Saddest moment: N/A
Sweetest/cutest moment: Olivia and Charlotte's immediate bond, and especially Charlotte saying that Olivia is "something else"
Least believable moment: Laura and Kevin barely blinked over Spencer trying to have someone killed
Best instance of continuity: Chandler's still around
Worst instance of continuity: I guess we'll never know how Kiki reacted to finding out there's a guy in town who looks exactly like her dead father
Hero of the week: Kiki
Most annoying character: Obrecht
Smartest character: Monica
Dumbest character: Obrecht
Inside joke: Anna used to disco, which has to be a reference to Finola Hughes' appearance in Staying Alive

The week in a nutshell:




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