General Hospital blog - March, 2007

March 1st, 2007

Jason feels really guilty. Alanís death makes Sam and Alexis want to bond. Tracy pressures Carly to tell Lulu to be careful in her investigations. Edward asks Sam to convince Jason to return to the family. Sonny asks Stan to look for a way for him to take over Alcazarís territory. Lucky and Elizabeth make plans to move into the Spencersí old house.

Mind your knitting, Tracy and Carly. Like anyoneís going to try to kill Lulu, especially with Luke, Lucky, and Nikolas around.

Elizabeth is not worthy of living in the Spencersí house! Be gone, woman!

Can Jason please be allowed out of the coffee shop?

Hi, Kiko Ellsworth! I thought you werenít coming till tomorrow. Awesome!


March 2nd, 2007

Just before his test results come in, Patrick gets Robin to talk about her feelings over the shooting and Alanís death. After an unhelpful conversation with Scott, Lulu and Dillon intercept a letter from Alan to Luke that claims to contain the truth about Rickís death. Sonny and Jax argue about Carly, of course. Sam heads to New York, most likely to run into Watch Guy. Maxie tries to get Coop a job at the Metro Court but almost outs him in the process.

The Jax/Sonny smackdown I was anticipating was less than satisfactory.

Once again, thanks for the Robin/Patrick stuff, writers!

Why did Alan write a letter to Luke to be opened in the event of his death? If he knew Laura didnít kill Rick, why didnít he come forward earlier? Why do the writers think weíre going to swallow this crap?

Watch Guy is a little creepy, and Iíd like to know his name so I can stop calling him Watch Guy.

Oh, Maxie. One question to answer and you couldnít even get it right.

Scorecard
Back in town: Ned Ashton, Jax Jacks
Dead: Alan Quartermaine
Out of town: Sam McCall
(Re)engaged: Lucky Spencer and Elizabeth Webber


March 3rd, 2007

Next week: Luke and Tracy want Alanís money, Jason gives in to Elizabeth (boo!), Carly canít make up her mind, and Alan haunts Tracy. Thanks, writers.


March 5th, 2007

According to Alan, Scott killed Rick. Jason agrees to give up the baby. Patrick is HIV negative, but Robin worries that heíll no longer want to be with her. Sonny and Carly fight, Sonny and Jax fight, and Carly plans to go to the Dominican Republic. Jax gives Coop a job, but Max is suspicious. Luke blasts Lulu for talking to Scott.

GROW A BACKBONE, JASON! And stop being selfish, Carly! (Oh, wait. Thatís like telling fish not to swim.)

Whenever Jax and Sonny have a scene together, all I can think of is to quote Kate from Lost: ďShall I get a ruler?Ē

For an unpredictable girl, Maxie is quite predictable.

Best moments of the episode: 1) The look on Maxieís face when Robin started babbling about men. 2) Luluís not ignoring Luke, sheís listening to music! Hee.


March 6th, 2007

Alan is memorialized. Jason remembers Alan telling him he loved him. Tracy and Edward try to kick Skye and Alcazar out. Lulu learns that Alan thought Scott killed Rick.

Yay, flashbacks! And Monica/Jason scenes! And lots of Nedly!


March 7th, 2007

Carly and Jason head to the Dominican Republic, though Carly is paranoid that something will stop them from getting her divorce. Tracy doesnít like Alanís will (which leaves pretty much everything to Emily and Jasonís future children), so she and Luke conspire to forge a new one. Edward nominates Monica to become the new chief of staff, but Ford wants the job. Dillon and Spinelli are jealous of each other and Milo. Coopís old military friend Logan (Drake!) shows up looking for a job.

I know theyíre playing the Tracy/Luke will thing up for laughs, but itís pretty disrespectful. Nice of the writers to mine comedy from the killing off of a beloved character.

So if you count Logan, Lulu now has FOUR LOVE INTERESTS. And Alexis is single. Huh?

Jason needs a day off from everyone elseís problems. He needs a No Carly Day.

ďHe left everything to EmilyĒ is quickly becoming the new ďthis is my houseĒ/ďI gave it to you.Ē Also, Alan didnít leave anything to Lila or Michael? That sucks.


March 8th, 2007

Everyone knows Tracy forged Alanís will, but no one does anything about it. Later, Tracy has a vision of Alan taunting her. Carly learns that she needs Sonnyís consent for divorce. After telling Sonny about Alanís accusations of Scott, Lulu confronts Scott in person. Watch Guy gets a TV host to ask Sam personal questions and bug her with his watch. Stan shuts Spinelli out of Sonny and Jasonís computer network. Logan annoys Lulu.

I always wondered how people could get divorced in the Dominican Republic without a spouseís consent. Whatever.

Raise your hand if you care about Watch Guy! Yeah, I thought so.

Thanks for Alanís ghost, writers. As if I werenít already mad enough about that storyline.

Shut up, Logan. Youíve only been around two days and I already want you to go away forever.


March 9th, 2007

Ric gets custody of Molly. Alanís ghost (sigh) claims he canít rest until Tracy admits she forged his will. Lulu is frustrated that sheís not making leeway until Spinelli discovers proof that Scott was at the Scorpiosí the night of Rickís death. Sam, Watch Guy, whatever. Robin, Patrick, whatever.

Yeah, shocker that things didnít go Alexisí way. Why should the cuckolded woman going through chemo have any good days? The writers suck.

I hate when they have a new character and donít show his face. Unless itís a returning character, we donít care. Itís not like Malcolm McDowell on Heroes!

Day three: still hate Logan.

Tell me again why you came back, Scott?

Scorecard
New in town: Logan (Drake!)
Still married: Sonny and Carly Corinthos


March 10th, 2007

Next week: Sonny and Carly are still married, Spinelli has a secret about someone, Maxie helps blackmail Scott, and Nikolas is kidnapped (and not by Helena!).


March 12th, 2007

Carly is all, ďI choose me.Ē Nikolas encourages Alexis to take Molly and Kristina and leave the country, but Alexis thinks she should stay and fight Ric. Logan stalks Lulu and learns that Scott killed Rick. Luke overhears Scott trying to get a guardian for Laura and attacks him. Hurt by Luluís dismissal of him, Spinelli goes to Jason for advice. Sam probably killed someone, but ask me if I care. (I donít.)

Dear writers, please stop giving Kristina scenes that make me sad.

Jason needs a Spinelli-to-English dictionary.

I give Carlyís newfound sense of self-reliance or whatever sheís going to spin it as one week. Also, Jax? Shut up. Jason is closer to Carly than you will ever be.

Day four: still hate Logan. Stalker!


March 13th, 2007

Sonny buys up a bunch of marble so Carly will have to do business with him. (No. Really.) Carly entertains herself by flirting with Coop in front of Jax and Maxie. Lulu wants to erase all the evidence that implicates Scott. Maxie and Logan scheme to blackmail Scott. Sonny tells Skye that Alcazar will soon no longer being doing business in Port Charles. Alcazar appears to be faking his condition. Alexis hates the new living arrangements. Bobbie makes Scott drop the charges against Luke.

Granite? Really? This is low, even for Sonny.

Hmmm...I probably should have suspected earlier that Alcazar was faking. Nice misdirection!

The twins playing Molly had a REALLY bad day today.

Day five: still hate Logan, but interestingly, Coop is growing on me. If Carly really tries to hook up with him, I will forgive a lot of things going on right now, because that would be hilarious. Can you imagine a Carly/Coop/Maxie triangle? Hee!


March 14th, 2007

While trying to dig up something on Jason to show up Stan, Spinelli discovers that Jason is the father of Elizabethís baby. Lulu is less than pleased. Carly refuses to give in to Sonny until she decides that she needs to make Jax jealous, or something. I wasnít really paying attention. Luke would like to know why Logan is hanging around Lulu. Watch Guyís accomplice tries to dig up more dirt on Sam.

Ooh, nice dirt, Spinelli. That ought to make things a lot more interesting...

Carly, youíre an insult to women everywhere. Thanks a bunch.

Day five: shut up, Logan. Also, seriously - how is Maxie not in love with him instead of Coop? Loganís exactly her type!

Dear Daytime Emmy people: look, I like Genie Francis and all, but how does she deserve an Emmy for 30 days of screentime over Nancy Lee Grahn, who has had the best plots ever over the past few months? That makes no sense. P.S.: kudos on the Julie Marie Berman nomination, though.


March 15th, 2007

Lulu goes to Carly for advice (which just gets Carly riled up about Jason and Elizabeth), then confronts Jason. Craig ambushes and injects Nikolas. Maxie gets Coop to distract Lulu so she can get the Scott/blackmail info from Spinelliís computer. Little does she know sheís about to find out that Jason is the babyís father. Carly and Jax fight boringly and then he kisses her. Robin and Patrick are both cute and boring.

CRAIG! Craig is back! Is it my birthday?

How bad is it that I can guess Luluís thought process and predict when sheíll go to Carly for advice?

Day six: Logan is so boring, I canít even be bothered to dislike him.

Like brother, like brother, because dang, Patrick, youíre hot, but you put me to sleep.


March 16th, 2007

Elizabeth shows up before Lulu can tell Lucky heís the babyís father (and before Lucky can tell Lulu that Luke and Laura werenít always shiny and happy). Craig offers Nikolas the antidote to the poison he gave him if Nikolas gets him a new identity. Sonny takes Carly to Jakeís, where Jax shows up with Amelia and finds them dancing. Georgie interrupts Maxie, Coop, and Loganís attempt to get info, but they send Scott a blackmail text message anyway. Ric suspects Alcazar is faking.

Things Craigís return almost makes up for: this interminable baby plot, the neverending Carly/Sonny/Jax triangle, Logan, and the fact that Ted King is leaving in May. (Maybe Craig can be the new resident villain?) Only thing that could make it better: Faith comes back and she and Craig have evil babies together.

Can we stop talking about Luke and Lauraís past, please? Considering one of them isnít even on the show anymore?

Did I sleep through the part where Georgie is Maxieís mom? Seriously, Georgie, shut up.

Amelia, go away. You serve no purpose and you both bore and annoy me. As Lucy would say, ta!


March 19th, 2007

Carly calls Jason to bail her out of her date. She then heads to Jaxís place, where she catches him bringing Amelia in for a drink. Craig tells Nikolas theyíll be partners and heíll help Craig pretend heís his own twin so he can stay in Port Charles. Sonny wants to get a mole inside the PCPD and Ric wants to get one inside Sonnyís organization. Scott confronts Lulu, thinking sheís his blackmailer. Logan interrupts and tells Maxie and Coop that they need to leave Lulu out of their plan. Jason thinks Lulu has told Sam about the baby. Sam used to be married to a guy named Bill Monroe, it looks like.

Dear Craig, please stay in town. I love you. Marry me. Also, feel free to kill Emily if the mood strikes you.

Looks like the writers saw The Departed.

Carly? GROW A FREAKING BACKBONE!

Awwww, Logan wuvs Lulu.


March 20th, 2007

Carly sleeps with Jax so he wonít be able to be jealous of Sonny for sleeping with her anymore. Nikolas tries to get rid of Emily, Lucky, and Elizabeth so Craig wonít hurt them. Monica and Edward threaten to take Tracy to court over the will. Lulu agrees to keep quiet about the babyís paternity. Alexis appreciates Sonnyís friendship.

So Jason is lying to Sam, and Sam is lying to Jason. A nice, healthy relationship there.

Carly, by sleeping with Jax, all youíre doing is adding fuel to my theory that youíre going to wind up pregnant.

Hey, Alexis, if you and Sonny get back together (well...together, since a one-night stand wasnít exactly ďtogetherĒ before), you may want to invest in birth control. Lots of birth control.

Awww, poor Nikolas. And poor Emily, strangely enough.


March 21st, 2007

Jason tells Carly to stop being a drama queen. Sam asks Spinelli to doÖsomething about Angela Monroe. I donít think she actually told him what to do. Scott confesses to Laura that he killed Rick. Lulu canít decide whether or not to tell Lucky about the baby before the wedding. Alcazar is still totally faking it. Bobbie warns Luke that Scott wants to tell Lulu about the rape. Amelia asks Jason to let Sam do her own show.

I think Ric calling Jason ďBlue EyesĒ was supposed to remind us that he, you know, has blue eyes, and the baby will probably have them, too, but it sounded more like he was hitting on him.

Well, the writers suck because theyíve perfectly set things up for Laura to come back, and yet according to Genie Francis, no one has said anything to her. Instead, we have to suffer through the one-sided scenes with the wig and revisiting the whole rape thing.

I care so little about Elizabeth that if she falls down the stairs while walking down the ďaisle,Ē I donít think Iíll even care.

Sam? Pick up the phone, call the police, and tell them to arrest Amelia for harassment. Seriously, that women cannot take a hint.


March 22nd, 2007

Lulu still canít decide whether or not to stop the wedding. Craig warns Nikolas not to push her family and friends away and make them suspicious. Patrick convinces Robin to move back in with him, but she changes her mind after learning that he got Georgie to help convince her that they wonít have any privacy at Macís. Alexis meets Craig.

Go, Lulu, go! I would totally spill everything, then check Lucky into rehab and not let him leave. Elizabeth needs to be called out for all of her crap, and she needs to be forced to admit what she did. Iím so sick of her, I want her comeuppance NOW.

Also, itís an unspoken soap law that if a close friend or relative of the bride is not in attendance, the wedding will not happen. I think there was only one exception, and I canít even remember what it was. When Emily got called away, I predicted that the wedding wonít be happening.

Okay, how awesome would an Alexis/Craig pairing be? Honestly!

It would make more sense for Maxie to show up at the house during the wedding if she, you know, had something to say there.

Robin and Patrick are still boring and having the same conversation 18 times, but hee to the Georgie thing. A for effort, Patrick.


March 23rd, 2007

Spinelli disrupts the wedding but Lulu stops him from spilling anything. Spinelli doesnít care, since Lulu calls him her boyfriend and makes his year. Max figures out that Coop is Three and sends him straight to Sonny, who debates killing him but will probably send him into the PCPD as his mole instead. Robin shows up at Wyndemere looking for Nikolas and encounters Craig instead. Carly catches Jax and Alexis having a close moment. Robin tells Patrick that she doesnít want to live with him, and he guesses that she doesnít want to see him until he can agree with her.

I know where theyíre going with Robin finding out about Craig, and I love it (not least because it means she gets a plot).

Dang, I thought Max asking if Coop had a sister was him wondering if he was related to Brenda. Why doesnít anyone notice that they have the same last name?

Iíve said it before and Iíll say it again - if Ned wonít come back, I can completely support an Alexis/Jax repairing.

Patrick, please hang out at Kellyís until Logan shows up. Iím sick of him and want him to have a scene that makes sense.

So...why did the writers have Emily leave before the wedding? I donít get it.

Scorecard
Broke up, I guess: Robin Scorpio and Patrick Drake
Remarried: Elizabeth and Lucky Spencer


March 24th, 2007

Next week: Jax uses Alexis to make Carly jealous, Alcazar wants to kill Jason and Sonny, and Craig makes Nikolas and Robin fake a relationship. AWESOME.


March 26th, 2007

Mike tells Sonny to work things out with Carly. Carly helps this along by going to see Sonny and making out with him. Craig tells Robin to move in with Nikolas so she can keep him from getting sick. Nikolas responds by attempting to overpower Craig. Sonny threatens to kill Coop if he doesnít become the Matt Damon to his Jack Nicholson. Alexis plays along with Jax, then encourages him to make up with Carly. Maxie is less than thrilled to catch Coop and Lulu talking.

I canít believe Craig just let Robin leave Wyndemere like that. I know she canít do much because heíll just let Nikolas die, but still, her uncle is the police commissioner! She could go fill him in!

Seriously. Jax and Alexis. Together. Make it happen.

Wow, Maxie mentioned Jesse for, like, the first time in a year. They really were close, werenít they?

Ew, Lucky. Take it from a little sister - Lulu does NOT want to hear about your sex life.


March 27th, 2007

Nikolasí plan to hold onto the counteragent backfires, so he and Robin are forced to do what Craig wants. Patrick is so suspicious that he goes to Mac for help. Jason tells a disappointed Sonny that Carly slept with Jax. Luluís three boyfriends want to know more about Logan. Maxie doesnít want Coop to be a cop, but Ric is happy that heís joining the force. Sam accepts Ameliaís job offer.

I think we need a drinking game where you drink every time Carly and Sonny make out. Today would be a sober day, but ordinarily youíd wind up on the floor 15 minutes into the episode.

Congratulations, Sam. You found the worst way possible to shut Amelia up. Now can you move to New York and be gone forever?

Iíd call Dillon, Spinelli, and Milo the Three Stooges, but I honestly donít know which would be which.

Wouldnít it be hilarious if Ric tried to get Coop to be the Leonardo DiCaprio to his...Mark Wahlberg? Martin Sheen? (If itís Sheen, Ric should be careful.)

The Lulu/Maxie catfight was awesome, and Maxie totally deserved it, which made it even better.


March 28th, 2007

Robin takes a sample of Nikolasí blood to try to determine what Craig gave him. Lulu agrees to go on a trial date with each of her boyfriends, starting with Dillon. Maxie tells Coop sheíll steal the police entrance exam for him. Sam gets a makeover (like she needs one). Patrick goes to confront Nikolas. NO MORE JASON/ELIZABETH SCENES.

In a fight between Patrick and Nikolas, I would bet on Patrick. Nikolas is a gentleman and didnít learn how to fight dirty. In a duel, however...

Mike has been on more in the past week than in the past three months. Iím not complaining, but whatís up with that?

Dear Maxie, do you have ANY morals?

So Sam killed a guy (other than Diego) in self-defense? Thanks, Amelia! Now leave.


March 29th, 2007

Patrick tells Alexis heís letting Robin go, then moves on to Kelly. Later, Alexis catches Robin and Nikolas making out. Skye asks Jason to honor Alan by keeping Sonny away from her so she can run Alcazarís business in peace. Carly learns that nothing happened between Jax and Alexis, and he boasts that he made her jealous. Jason gives Spinelli romance advice. Rodriguez turns down Ricís proposal that he be the Leonardo DiCaprio to Ricís Mark Wahlberg.

Are Nikolas and Robin just practicing? Or did she finally give in to his hotness?

Skye, donít ever try to snow Jason. It wonít work.

Iím choosing to believe that Patrick just wasnít paying attention when Logan walked by him, and not that theyíre not brothers. I must keep supporting my own theory!

I canít decide what Iím more sick of - Jason/Elizabeth scenes or any combination of Sonny/Carly/Jax scenes. Iíll call it a tie.


March 30th, 2007

Alcazar plots Sonny and Jasonís deaths as they plan to move their operation to the Cellar. Alexis passes out with only Kristina and Craig nearby to help her. Lulu is confused when Scott accuses her of blackmailing him. Jax plans a romantic evening with Carly.

Eeee, a Faith reference! Maybe theyíll decide sheís not dead after all. And also, the Cellar? Why?

Seriously, Spinelli, why would you follow a mobster down a dark alley into a basement?

HANDS OFF KRISTINA, CRAIG. Not kidding.

Wouldnít it be funny if Maxie and Logan texted Scott while heís talking to Lulu? I mean, theyíre dumb enough.


March 31st, 2007

Next week: Craig charms Alexis, Jax and Carly reunite, Lulu starts making up her mind, and Michael makes me want to smack him.


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