General Hospital blog - March, 2010

March 1st, 2010

Carly interrupts the bail hearing to tell the judge that Jax has it out for Sonny. It turns out not to matter, as the judge is pretty fair and agrees that since Sonny hasn't done anything to violate his bail agreement, he should stay out of jail. Diane's mad at Carly for revealing her bias toward Sonny, and Jax is mad at Sonny for making her perjure herself. Claire accuses Dante of lying to protect his father and lets him know that he's not much of a reliable witness. Johnny and Ethan have few options, since Johnny decided he didn't need to think things through ahead of time, but they manage to get away from Sonny's men, though only with a box of cigars for Luke. Nikolas brings Jake and Cameron to visit Elizabeth, and she tells him that they won't be having a relationship, even if he's the baby's father. Lucky comes by later and tells Elizabeth pretty much the same thing. She decides that she needs to have the paternity test early after all. Lucky tracks down Jason outside the courthouse and hangs out with him until they find out the judge's decision. Patrick should definitely not be at Jake's with Lisa.

What's the big deal if Carly's biased towards Sonny? Let it go, Diane.

Dear Lucky, you had both good and bad timing today. Guess which one was unhelpful?

Johnny, if you want to bring down Sonny's entire organization - which is HUGE, mind you - you're going to have to start using your brain.

Shouldn't Robin and Patrick be home with Emma?

March 2nd, 2010

Lulu tells Claire that Dante's one of the few people on her side, so she should be nicer to him. Dante and Lulu are unable to fight their attraction any longer and plan to finally have sex, but he falls asleep before they can. Carly has sex with Jax to remind him of what he'll be throwing away if he keeps going up against Sonny. Lucky and Nikolas aren't sure the early paternity test is a good idea, but Elizabeth wants it - as does Helena. Sonny tells Michael that he's going on trial for him to make up for all the bad things that have happened to Michael just because of who his father is. Robin and Patrick have an actual conversation about their feelings, so the only one in this triangle who's upset now is Lisa. Jason confronts Ethan about teaming up with Johnny, but no one's going to be backing down. Later, Jason asks Luke to get Ethan out of the way before he gets in over his head. Kiefer begs Kristina to take him back, and she annoyingly gives in.

Lulu and Dante - still too cute. It's refreshing, really.

Ew, someone call the health inspector and have him go to the Metro Court.

I love how they try to make us wonder who's sneaking around Shadybrook and going into Elizabeth's room. Also, five bucks says she rigs the paternity test in Nikolas' favor.

I'm waiting for Kiefer to tell Kristina, "If you break up with me, I'll kill myself." He seems like the type.

March 3rd, 2010

Robin offers Elizabeth some moral support, taking her to the hospital for her paternity test. Helena lurks, having already paid off a tech to swing things in Nikolas' favor. As Elizabeth awaits her test and Nikolas creates a trust for the baby, Lucky is alerted to an attempted break-in (Johnny's?) and comes across a guy in a Bill Clinton(?) mask. A chase ensues and the would-be robber takes a shot at Lucky. Robin tells Sonny that she doesn't get why he shot Dante, but she's still in his corner. Patrick, however, is not so much. He also reveals to Sonny that he knew Dante's paternity for months and didn't say anything. Kiefer wants to take Kristina clubbing, if she wears the right clothes. Kristina attempts to stand up to him but is interrupted when Sonny arrives and she has to deal with him. He tells her that he's her father no matter what, and he'll put up with all of her crap, including her boyfriend. Johnny asks Ethan to get Bernie's assistant out of his office so Johnny can destroy Sonny's financial records and steal some money. Ethan takes the assistant to Kelly's, where Kiefer is thrilled to see him with someone else and Kristina is immediately jealous. Ethan tells her straight out that she's too young for him, and again, she blames Sam for interfering. Olivia interrupts Lulu and Dante's next attempt at sex, and he tells her that he's not going to discuss the situation with her because he doesn't trust her anymore. Later, Dante goes looking for Lulu on the yacht and instead talks to Lucky about what it's like to be a cop in a town where your father sometimes breaks the law.

When did Johnny lose so many brain cells? First of all, there's no way Spinelli doesn't have 15 backups of all of Sonny's files. Second of all, you don't stage a break-in in broad daylight. Third of all, why would you shoot Lucky? And fourth of all, you're only going to take $100,000? That's like taking Sonny's piggy bank.

I kind of liked the Patrick/Sonny scene. That's a combination we don't see a lot.

How many days until Kiefer ends up at the bottom of the harbor?

Who brings a casserole to a guy who lives above a diner?

March 4th, 2010

Johnny misses Lucky and escapes, then tells Ethan that he actually accomplished just what he wanted to. Spinelli overhears them talking and seems to be on to Johnny. Lucky tells Dante that he thinks Johnny was behind the attempted break-in, and Dante tells him that Johnny was using Max's Halloween mask. Lucky urges Jason to let him continue to handle things, but Jason's worried that Johnny's going too far. Just as Johnny is getting really cocky about doing absolutely nothing and getting caught, someone (probably Lucky) shows up at Jake's wearing the incriminating mask. Carly and Jax flirt and seem close to making a breakthrough when she realizes that he's not sorry at all about what he did to Sonny. She then finds a photo of Franco mixed in with photos from Josslyn's christening. Elizabeth is confused about Nikolas' trust fund. Helena lurks around the hospital and tries to avoid her grandson. Claire bugs both Jason and Dante about their roles in the trial. Maxie admits to Spinelli that she understands Johnny's need for revenge. Spinelli worries that she really wants a bad boy.

If anyone understands what Johnny's trying to accomplish, please let me know, because I really can't figure it out.

What happened to Carly? She used to be able to hold a grudge much better than this.

Actually, Claire, Jason can have his own lawyer present when he's questioned on the stand. As a lawyer yourself, you should know that.

Please tell me we're not going down the Spinelli-makes-an-idiot-of-himself-trying-to-impress-Maxie route yet again.

March 5th, 2010

Claire learns that Michael's been acting squirrelly about Claudia's murder and even confessed to Mac that he killed her. Dante heads over to Sonny's house to talk to Michael, but Sonny stops them before Michael can say anything incriminating. Lucky threatens to arrest Johnny for trying to kill him, but he can't make anything stick. Lucky asks Jason again to hold off on going after Johnny, now that his brother's involved. Jason gets an idea from Spinelli, apparently, and goes after Johnny with...a paintball gun? Meanwhile, Lucky tries to get rid of Ethan by taking advantage of his possible lack of a green card. Alexis and Diane have to share an office for some contrived reason, but at least they're funny. Elizabeth decides that she wants to raise her kids on her own, but Steven thinks she should accept help from whoever the baby's father turns out to be. Nikolas agrees, pointing out that Elizabeth accepts help from Jason. Sonny promises Luke that he won't do anything to Ethan. Spinelli, blah, blah, danger, fake serial killer, yawn.

I'm going to predict right now that the way this main storyline will end is that they'll put Michael on the stand, he'll confess to killing Claudia, and the jury will acquit Sonny.

More Diane and Alexis! Moooooore, I beg you!

Hey, writers, if you're going to do another immigration storyline, could you actually do this one? Because the one you started with Nikolas and never finished might have actually been interesting. However, you do have the same problem with this one that you had with that one - Ethan also has a biological parent who's American; I'm pretty sure he can't be deported.

Either that last Spinelli/Maxie scene was his daydream, or Kirsten Storms was engaging in some egregious overacting. Actually, it might be both.

March 6th, 2010

Next week: lots of issues with children and/or people who act like children. Jason and Sam attempt to subdue Michael, Kristina's decisions start to come back to haunt her, Lucky hopes the baby isn't his, and we're supposed to care about Maxie again.

March 8th, 2010

Sonny gets Michael out of the room and tells Dante that he killed Claudia. Dante keeps poking around, asking Johnny if Michael has said anything about knowing what happened, and Johnny tells him to leave Michael alone. Instead, Dante goes to talk to Jason, who's about to head off to the island with Michael and Sam, wanting Michael out of the country so he can't be subpoenaed to testify at the trial. At first Luke is all for Ethan leaving the country, but then he decides to go the marry-someone-for-a-green-card route. A teasing suggestion of Tracy comes back to bite him when Ethan and Tracy go along with it. Carly plans a semi-romantic dinner with Sonny at the hotel, hoping to make Jax jealous in the meantime. It works until she learns about Sonny's plans for Michael and gets mad. Lucky tells Nikolas that he hopes Nikolas is the baby's father. Spinelli gets Maxie involved in his possibly-fake serial killer case, but she winds up confronting the guy on her own and putting herself in actual danger.

Dude, Michael, it's a free vacation to a nice place. Go with it. (I assume that's the only reason Sam's going.)

Tracy, I'm all for you divorcing Luke, because seriously, I never got that, but now is a bad time. If he's single by the end of the month, he's totally going to hook up with Skye. Also, I bet Alice would totally marry Ethan. And it would be freaking hilarious.

Sorry, Lucky, but I hope the baby IS yours. We don't need any more Cassadines.

It's Lainey! Hi, Lainey! See you again in, what, six months?

March 9th, 2010

Carly objects to Sonny and Jason's plans for Michael, but even Jax is on their side. Eventually she changes her mind and lets Michael leave, though he's still not happy. Sam gets rid of Dante by pretending that he's interrupted an intimate moment between her and Jason. This inspires Dante to try again to have sex with Lulu, but they're interrupted first by Maxie, then by Ronnie. Ronnie takes Dante to Sonny's so they can attempt to talk to Michael again, but Ronnie figures out that Michael's already being taken out of the country. Sonny asks Olivia to tell him about Dante's childhood, but the conversation just ends in another fight. Carly asks Lulu to talk to Dante about going easy on Michael, but Lulu doesn't want to get involved. Carly believes that eventually Sonny will wear Dante down and win him over. Patrick and Robin fight about whether he should go to Jake's with Lisa or go home with Robin. Lisa needs to keep her clothes on. Maxie pretends that she mistook the possibly-killer chef for someone else, then realizes that he's probably on to her anyway. She and Spinelli find themselves back in the sewer tunnel they wound up in when they were investigating the text message killer, and they're trapped there again. Kristina's still jealous of Bernie's assistant.

Is it weird that every time Olivia and Sonny start fighting, all I can think is, "Just make out already"?

Of course Sonny will win Dante over. He wins everyone over. He made a freaking FBI agent fall in love with him, for Pete's sake.

At this rate, Lulu and Dante are going to have to leave town before they can do anything.

Hey, they finally wrote in Bradford Anderson's injury! Now he doesn't have to sit down all the time for no reason!

March 10th, 2010

Spinelli confesses to a hypothermic, unconscious Maxie that he made up the serial-killer case to intrigue her. Johnny rescues them and lets Maxie believe that Spinelli was really the hero because he told Johnny where they were. Jason and Sam are so distracted by romance on the island that Michael is almost able to grab a speedboat and make it back to the mainland. The two then return to Port Charles, leaving Michael under the watchful eyes of Max and Milo. Kristina overhears Ethan telling Luke that he would be into Kristina if she were more mature, so she makes sure to pick out a clubbing dress that makes her look mature. Later, she overhears Ethan talking about Jennifer and learns that she works for Bernie. Molly tells Diane that Michael killed Claudia and begs her to never let Alexis find out. Tracy again tries to talk Lulu into giving up on Dante, but Lulu won't listen, of course. Luke approves of Jennifer a little more than Tracy would like. Patrick's still a little shaken by the sight of Lisa half-naked, and getting trapped in an elevator with her probably won't help.

Aww, see, Johnny's a nice guy. When he's not being an idiot.

Speaking of idiots, who's dumber - Jason for not putting in place more assurances that Michael won't run off, or Michael for thinking that Jason wouldn't put in place assurances that he won't run off?

Hey, Maxie? That speech about what heart-transplant recipients are more susceptible to is kind of important. Perhaps you should listen.

Molly, if you don't want Alexis to know that Michael killed Claudia, why even tell Diane about it? Your logic is weird.

March 11th, 2010

Dante bugs Carly about Michael's whereabouts, but when Claire shows up to do the same, Dante tells her that she doesn't need him to help with her case. Carly tells Sonny what's going on and he admits that he's considering telling Dante the truth. Claire gets a subpoena for Michael and seems to think that giving it to Carly is just as good as serving it to Michael. Meanwhile, Alexis has come up with her own idea of what happened, guessing that Michael saw Sonny beat Claudia to death. Mac blames Spinelli for Maxie being sick, and for once Spinelli agrees with him on something. He confesses the truth about the serial-killer case to Maxie, who just wants to convince everyone that she's okay. Kristina has Molly hack into Ethan and Jennifer's e-mail accounts and cancel their date, then blows Kiefer off to go to the casino and try to seduce Ethan. It definitely doesn't work, and when Ethan realizes that Kristina was responsible for the cancellation of his date, he aggressively tells her that enough is enough. A furious Kiefer heads over to the lake house, ready to confront Kristina in an even more aggressive way. Michael tries to get a couple of girls to distract Max and Milo so he can slip away, and it works until Bernie shows up. Lulu finds Dante an apartment and they get to work christening it. Patrick and Lisa whatever.

Does Claire not know how a subpeona works? I'm starting to wonder. You can't arrest someone for not responding to a subpeona if you never served it to him. And serving it to his mother doesn't count. Go away, Claire.

I kind of love how they keep reiterating that Sonny would never hurt a woman. It's like, "Yeah, he's a mobster, but Kiefer's worse!"

I still don't get why Spinelli thinks hanging out in the sewers is romantic. Yeah, that's how his relationship with Maxie started, but does he really think she wants to be reminded of the guy who murdered her sister?

Sonny should have Claire arrested for harassment, because seriously.

ABC, don't make Molly schill movies for you.

Who gets to tell Diane that Max came this close to sleeping with someone else?

March 12th, 2010

A bruised Kristina flees the casino in humiliation and tries to get a drink at the Metro Court, where Sam finds her and takes her home. She also tries to get her to realize that older guys aren't always better. As Sam heads to the casino to warn Ethan to stay away from Kristina, Kiefer confronts Kristina and she realizes that things are way out of control. Having been summoned by Kate, Maxie checks herself out of the hospital and lets herself get yelled at for a little while. Lulu and Dante are once again interrupted when she's called to work. Claire then tracks Dante down and tells him she wants him to find Michael. Instead, Dante tells Sonny that he knows Michael's hiding something, and it looks like Sonny might crack, at least until Jason shows up. Maxie asks Jason to talk to Spinelli for her, but he still blames himself for what happened. Sonny asks Luke to talk to Lulu about trying to talk him up to Dante.

I haven't always been impressed with Lexi Ainsworth (Kristina) or Christian Alexander's (Kiefer) acting, but their scenes today were pretty good. I'm optimistic that they're going to do this storyline justice.

Hey, it's Kate! Yelling! Writers, Kate doesn't always have to yell, you know. Also, I hope she feels bad when she finds out Maxie almost died.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Sonny should tell Dante what happened. I really think Dante would protect Michael.

I call complete and total bull on Claire finding Dante in an apartment he hasn't even rented yet. Also, I really think that was Franco's loft.

March 13th, 2010

Next week: Kristina makes another bad decision, Helena still has tricks up her sleeve, and the trial kicks off.

March 15th, 2010

Kiefer beats the crap out of Kristina, blames her, and takes off. Luke tells Sam that Ethan could have handled the situation better but Kristina shouldn't have come to the casino, leading her to accuse the two men of saying that she had it coming to her. Ethan decides to work things out with Kristina, which makes him the person who finds her at the lake house and takes her to the hospital. When pressed for the name of her attacker, Kristina claims it's Ethan. Sonny admits to Jason that he does want to tell Dante that Michael killed Claudia and try to get him on their side. Jason warns that Dante most likely believes that Sonny's capable of beating a woman and advises him not to sacrifice Michael for a relationship with Dante. Lucky tells Elizabeth that he doesn't want to be with her and doesn't want to be the baby's father. Helena gets the test results back and prepares to find out if the baby is a Spencer or a Cassadine. Kate and Lulu take Maxie back to the hospital, where Monica diagnoses her with pneumonia. Spinelli thinks he should leave Maxie to protect her. Molly's all excited about the trial.

Oh, Kristina. You're going to regret naming Ethan when your father winds up killing him.

Here's an idea, Spinelli: stop doing stupid things.

Methinks Sam is projecting a bit. Are we going to learn about another one of her bad past relationships?

Yes, Molly, you are "some kind of cousin" to Dante. Also known as a first cousin.

March 16th, 2010

Sonny immediately confronts Ethan (with a gun, naturally), who denies assaulting Kristina. Lucky and Dante arrive in time to talk Sonny down, but Lucky has no choice except to arrest Ethan. Ethan thinks Lucky believes he's guilty and is reasonably bitter not to have anyone in his corner. Sonny wants Jason to kill Ethan, but Jason points out that Luke could retaliate and force them to kill him. Johnny believes Ethan's telling the truth and tries to convince Jason to spare him until they know what really happened. Dante visits Kristina, who admits to being glad he's her brother, and eavesdrops as Sonny tells a sleeping Kristina about his own abusive childhood. Sam blames herself for her sister's attack, thinking she should have seen that Kristina was in trouble. She tells Kristina a little about her own assault experiences and promises that this will make Kristina stronger. For some reason, Sam thinks this is a good time to tell Alexis that Kristina's been sexually active. Kiefer returns to the lake house and is shocked to learn from Molly that Kristina named Ethan as her attacker. Helena gets the test results, which show that Lucky is the baby's father, and reveals that her plan is to have Nikolas raise a Spencer as a Cassadine.

It's interesting how they're not just going with a typical violence-against-women-is-bad-and-everyone-should-adore-Kristina-now plotline. Her lie adds another layer. Plus, it gives Ethan a plot that doesn't make me want to hit the fast-foward button every time he's on screen.

I don't think Helena's thought through this scheme as much as she usually does. Nikolas doesn't hate the Spencers (he IS a Spencer, too), so why would he raise his child to hate them? Also, didn't Nikolas have a conversation with Lisa about sending the test to an outside lab? Wouldn't it be interesting if he got the real results and played along with Helena to a) save Lucky from being tied to Elizabeth when he doesn't want to, and b) tie himself to Elizabeth through the baby?

Why in the world did Sam think this was a good time to tell Alexis that Kristina's been having sex? And what does it have to do with anything?

Ahh, so that's why Luke went to Las Vegas - it's more interesting not to have him around right now.

March 17th, 2010

Kiefer drops by to apologize to Kristina and get her all worked up. She tells him that she won't be able to forgive him for the assault, but she doesn't want her father to kill him, which is why she lied about Ethan being her assailant. Alexis asks Jason not to kill Ethan, and since he doesn't want to move on unverified information anyway, he decides to get more of the story from Kristina. She tells him that Kiefer showed up shortly after Sam left, which doesn't jibe with Sam's story that she left the lakehouse and went to see Ethan at the casino. Lucky tries to question Kiefer about the events of the previous night, but his parents are uncooperative. Tracy bails Ethan out of jail and tries to believe his side of the story but has a hard time. It'll be even harder when word gets out that a DNA test shows Kristina scratched Ethan. As Elizabeth, Nikolas, and Lucky get the doctored paternity-test results, Helena makes plans to move into Wyndemere. Spinelli and Maxie are still boring.

Again, good stuff from Lexi Ainsworth and Christian Alexander. I also appreciate that they're close to their characters' ages, so it's not like adults preaching about domestic violence.

But seriously, how does Ethan not suspect Kiefer? I don't get it.

So everyone's happy and we can stop talking about the baby now, right?

Why does Jason think Kristina wants to talk to him? Has she even talked to him in the last six months? That's really random.

Can't poor Mac have a plot of his own?

March 18th, 2010

Sonny throws Jason out of Kristina's room and rails against him for not being more sensitive. He and Sam both think Jason's crazy for not believing her story. Kristina begs Sonny not to have Jason kill Ethan, and Alexis lays into him for even considering it. Lulu isn't sure if Ethan's guilty or not, but she doesn't want Jason to kill him either. Sam goes after Ethan, pounding on him a little before Jason stops her. Dante goes to the island looking for Michael, but Max and Milo keep him hidden. When he returns Dante tells Sonny that he doesn't think Claire will need to call Michael to testify. Claire offers to use Kristina to get a continuance, but Sonny refuses. For some reason, Nikolas decides to let Helena stay at Wyndemere. Alice and Coleman both have jury duty.

Alexis, marry me. You told Sonny exactly what I say every day: "It's not all about you."

Coleman and Alice on Sonny's jury? AWESOME.

I'm officially more scared of Sam than I am of Carly. But she's still not as scary as Olivia.

Heh, Dante totally brought Sonny a souvenir from the island.

March 19th, 2010

Ethan goes to the penthouse to talk to Jason but Sam runs him off. Jason admits to her that he's not sure Ethan's guilty, which makes her accuse him of thinking Kristina's lying. Kiefer visits Kristina, upsetting her, but Alexis doesn't catch on to anything. Later, Ethan stops by the lakehouse to try to find out why Kristina named him as her attacker. Alice, Coleman, and Lisa are all picked for Sonny's jury. Carly finds Sonny in meltdown mode and tries to keep him optimistic by pointing out that his and Kristina's situations are different. Maxie's not getting better. Dante tells Olivia how grateful he is to have had a stable household growing up.

Ug, I don't want to have to see Lisa every day for the bazillion weeks this trial is going to take. They should've put Matt on the jury instead, in sticking with the characters-who-never-get-to-do-anything theme. Also, shouldn't Coleman have been excluded, since he takes protection from Sonny? (I never understood that - wouldn't Sonny and Jason hate him for the whole Courtney fiasco?) They probably wouldn't be able to have the trial in Port Charles anyway, since so many people know who Sonny is and would have heard all the news stories about Claudia's death. What's that? Fictional story? Oh, right.

Please tell me Dante isn't going to use Maxie's illness as a reason why he and Lulu should have sex now rather than wait.

We can cross makeup artist off the list of possible professions for Sam.

Ethan, stop going to places where people might beat you up!

For some reason Adrianne Leon (Brook) will be returning in May. (Not that I have anything against her; it's just random.) What's with the sudden influx of Quartermaines? Are they building an army? Can Scott Clifton (Dillon) come back, too, now that One Life to Live has let him go?

March 20th, 2010

Next week: trial! Ethan! Michael! Angst! So, basically, the redux of this week.

March 22nd, 2010

Ethan pressures Kristina to tell him why she lied, but before she can, Sam shows up and has him arrested for violating his protection order. Tracy notes that his approaching Kristina just makes him look guilty. As Jason tells Lucky that he thinks Kristina's lying, Luke finally returns to town. Claire gets Floyd to testify that Sonny announced, "This ends tonight," at Claudia's party. Not much else of note happens. Elizabeth tells Lucky the baby's paternity (which he already knows) and he wonders why she's not with Nikolas. He reiterates that she shouldn't stay single because she wants him to come back. Spencer wants to name the baby Sheba or Buzz Lightyear. Carly bonds with Kristina over her own teenage mistakes, trying to get her to tell the truth. Everyone tries to be optimistic about Maxie's condition. Dante and Lulu are interrupted yet again when he's called to testify.

Wow, Carly managed to handle a situation with finesse. I'm impressed!

Why is Floyd a witness at the trial?

Buzz Lightyear Cassadine? Awesome.

They're recasting Michael! No, I don't know why. It makes me nervous.

March 23rd, 2010

Alexis catches Carly upsetting Kristina and throws her out, but not before Kristina again lies about Ethan being her attacker. Carly goes back to Jason to tell him that she's pretty sure Kristina's lying. Jason has already talked to Lucky about the situation, telling him that Ethan seems to have an alibi for the time of the attack, so Lucky questions Patrick, Robin, and Epiphany about their observations of Ethan after he brought Kristina to the hospital. He then goes to ask Kristina again to tell him what happened. Claire gets Dante to admit that Michael may have witnessed Claudia's murder, but in the process she gets the judge mad at her and is fined. Dante rails at her for making him give up his brother, since he still doesn't think Michael's testimony is necessary. Sonny's bad day gets worse when Luke shows up to talk about the Ethan/Kristina situation after assuring Ethan that he'll stick by him no matter what. Patrick plans a picnic for Robin to take her mind off of Maxie, but Lisa accidentally crashes it.

Claire is the worst lawyer EVER.

On contrast, Lucky and Dante may be the best cops ever.

Way to go, Lisa, busting the mayor for basically tampering with the jury, not telling anyone about it, and then talking about the trial with Patrick. Mistrial!

Something tells me Sonny doesn't want to talk to you right now, Luke....

March 24th, 2010

Sonny tells Luke that he'll leave Ethan alone, but he later tells Jason that he has no intention of keeping his word. Lulu thinks Ethan could have attacked Kristina because of Luke's history of violence. Because she apparently doesn't listen to what she says, she tries to convince Dante that he's not capable of being violent just because his father has a history of violence. Also, no one ever told Ethan that Luke raped Laura, so Lulu decides to remedy that. Lucky thinks Ethan is innocent, which puts him and Luke on the same side for once. Kristina doesn't want the assault to go to trial, and she asks Sam to ask Alexis to ask the DA not to prosecute Ethan. Carly becomes the first person to suggest that Kiefer might have been Kristina's real attacker. Robin and Patrick haven't figured out that if there's a topic you're going to keep fighting about, you should just avoid it. Claire is still really annoying.

I don't think "justice" is what you're after, Sonny. Unless "justice" is a euphemism for "putting Ethan at the bottom of the harbor."

Lulu, if I have to listen to you say stupid things, you have to, too.

Sheesh, Kristina's crying more than Lucky lately.

Man, the one time Carly's right about something, no one wants her to pursue it!

March 25th, 2010

Sam realizes that she's projecting her own assault onto Kristina and she needs to respect her sister's wishes not to press charges. It takes some work, but she seems to convince Alexis of the same thing. Kiefer, however, thinks Kristina's crazy for wanting to drop the charges against Ethan. Diane thinks Sonny needs to focus on his trial rather than on Ethan and asks Jason to convince him of the same thing. Luke pleads with Sonny to leave Ethan alone, but Sonny won't talk to him about it. Later, though, he tells Jason that he's going to let the justice system handle things. Michael learns of Kristina's attack and demands that Max and Milo let him go home. Carly arrives to keep him there and discuss the situation; they both end up believing that Kiefer is the real culprit. Michael's ticked that another innocent person will be punished for something he didn't do. Ethan tells Luke that Lulu told him about his past with Laura, and Luke tells him that the idea of a child becoming like his or her father is ridiculous. Later, Ethan tells Lucky that he knows about the situation and sympathizes that Lucky must have had a hard time realizing that his father wasn't as great as he'd always thought. Claire asks Dante if Johnny would make a good witness, and though he says no, she prepares to have him testify anyway. Her turn as the defense attorney makes him fly off the handle since he thinks she's implying that Claudia got what was coming to her.

Oh, Sonny, the hard part for you isn't letting the law run its course, it's refraining from killing someone.

You know, I think Michael actually would be able to convince Kristina to tell the truth. He probably has a better chance than anyone else.

It's starting to feel like every time we set the clocks backwards or forwards, someone has to bring up the fact that Luke raped Laura. Is everyone on the same page now? Any new characters not in on this? Dante, do you want an update?

Why did Claire bother asking Dante if Johnny would make a good witness when she already planned to call him? Shut up, Claire.

March 26th, 2010

The charges against Ethan are dropped, which infuriates Sonny to the point where he trashes his office and tells Jason he wants Ethan dead. Too bad Claire overhears all this. Luke tells Kristina that he knows she's been lying and it's time to start telling the truth. Claire decides not to put Johnny on the stand, then subpoenas Jason. Johnny takes it out on Dante, accusing him of protecting his father. A steadily declining Maxie tells Lulu to have sex with Dante already, then dreams of Georgie. Jason tells Carly and Sonny that Kristina, Morgan, and Molly all know that Michael killed Claudia. Sonny finds Morgan questioning Dante about how he reconciles his job with his family.

Booooooooooring. The only thing that even remotely interested me today was Georgie. (They never should have killed her off.) And the possibility that Alexis will come home while Luke is there and we'll get a Luke/Natasha scene.

March 27th, 2010

Next week: Dante puts his detective skills to good use, Olivia is on Sonny's side once again, and Skye comes back to serve as a spot of sanity in the midst of all the craziness.

March 29th, 2010

Claire gleefully tells Jax about Sonny's outburst and he encourages her to find someone to testify that he's violent towards women. Claire changes her mind about putting Johnny on the stand and winds up winning this round: Johnny testifies that Sonny repeatedly abused Claudia, and Sonny yells out that though he's never hit a woman, Claudia was horrible and got what she deserved. Luke pretty much gets Kristina to admit that she lied about Ethan being her attacker, but before she can tell him who it really was, Sam arrives and makes Luke leave. Later, Sam and Jason run into Ethan at Kelly's and Sam prepares for another fight. Dream Georgie convinces Maxie that no bad boy could love her more than Spinelli does, so she needs to fight to stay alive. Jason tells Luke that he also doesn't believe Kristina, has already shared the information with Lucky, and thinks Dante should help Lucky investigate the matter because Sonny is likely to believe whatever Dante says. Sam tells Alexis what happened and Alexis goes to confront Luke and "go all Cassadine" on him. Ronnie tries to get Morgan to tell him where Michael is. It doesn't work, but it does tick Dante off.

So the judge just let Sonny stand up and yell in the courtroom? That judge sucks. Also, I don't get how Coleman was allowed on the jury. He knows the defendant, the victim, and all the witnesses. I wouldn't be surprised if someone had drunkenly told him what really happened.

Can Georgie just come back every few weeks to talk sense into people?

I'm sorry, is Ronnie trying to use a 12-year-old for information? A 12-year-old who happens to be a cop's brother? Ronnie, you're dumber than Maxie.

Five bucks says Jax tells Claire about Brenda within the week.

March 30th, 2010

Kristina is shaken up by Sonny's outburst, but he's not able to comfort her because he's too busy being yelled at (along with everyone else) by the judge. The jury ends up sequestered and Sonny ends up fighting with Kristina, who believes Johnny's stories about Claudia. Alexis agrees to let Lucky investigate and find out who really attacked Kristina. Ethan wants to leave town, but Luke gets him to agree to wait a few days to see how Lucky's investigation goes. Jason admits to Sam that he doesn't think Kristina's telling the truth. Ronnie threatens to have Dante fired for protecting his family, so Dante throws the Franco situation back in his face. Carly learns of what happened and tells Jason that she thinks Dante protecting Morgan plus his apparent inability to find Michael on the island mean he's protecting his brothers. Elizabeth decides to check herself out of Shadybrook, despite Steven and Nikolas' advice to stay.

Uh, why does Kristina believe Johnny over Sonny? And why is she not in therapy?

Can I be the one to tell Olivia that Carly threatened Dante? Pretty please?

Coleman, shut up! You finally got a storyline!

Freaking A, now they're recasting Morgan. Watch your back, Lexi Ainsworth.

March 31st, 2010

Ethan gets into a fender-bender with Maya Ward, and since they already hate each other, they'll probably wind up together. Maya meets Edward, Monica, and Tracy, and is warned about all of the people she should stay away from. She goes out to explore the town and ends up at the Spencers' house, where Lucky meets her. Luke and Tracy decide to take a vacation with Ethan, partly to get him away from Sonny and partly so Tracy doesn't have to deal with Maya. Luke gets a phone call that makes him opt to stay in town, and he tells Ethan to distract Tracy for a while. Tracy immediately catches on that he has something up his sleeve, but it's actually someone - Skye's in town. Kristina's still on a quest to find out if Sonny's abusive, so she turns to Carly for answers. Carly admits that they had a volatile relationship but she was as responsible for it as he was. Luke asks Dante to work with Lucky to find out who attacked Kristina, so Dante meets with his sister. As he's warning her that her attacker could strike again, they're interrupted by the devil himself. Elizabeth goes home, even though Steven still thinks she's not ready. Just as she's about to open the results of the outside paternity test, Helena arrives to invite her and the boys to move out to Wyndemere. Dante again wonders if he's capable of violence like Sonny possibly is. Robin wants Olivia to go easy on Sonny when she testifies, which sets Patrick off again.

Hee, I loved Tracy's, "Is that Skye?" Yes, yes, it is.

Okay, when you arrive in a new town and the people at your new house tell you more people to stay away from than you've even met, you're probably moving to the wrong place.

Kristina, I think you've blurred the line between verbally abusive and just mean.

I have to admit, Olivia makes a good point: if Sonny was going to hit any woman, it would have been her.

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