General Hospital blog - March, 2011

March 1st, 2011

Michael and Morgan wind up at Carly's house, where they notice an unfamiliar car outside and worry that she's in danger. Michael goes inside to find Sonny ready to do anything necessary to get information out of Shawn. Sonny tries to get him and Carly to leave, but Carly tells him that if he's going to kill Shawn, he'll have to do it in front of Michael. Morgan takes in the scene without anyone noticing and calls Dante to get him to defuse it, which he does. Shawn notes that Dante isn't exactly rushing to report the situation, and Dante counters that he kidnapped Carly at gunpoint, so he probably shouldn't be pushing to talk to the police. As Dante takes Shawn to the hospital, Michael tells Morgan he's going to help look for Brenda, making it clear that he'll break the law if necessary. Carly overhears and tells her sons that they need to make different decisions than their father did. Dante and Lucky pool their knowledge and decide that Theo's wife is the angle they need to try to exploit. However, their only lead, Shawn, either doesn't know about Suzanne or is willing to cover for her. Patrick can't determine if Sam's hearing loss is permanent or temporary. Suzanne keeps lurking around the hospital, flying under the radar. Kristina tells Ethan she's basically waiting out his marriage to Maya. Robin tells Patrick she wants to forgive him, and he tells her there's no rush.

Carly actually did two good things today: first, telling Sonny that he'd have to kill Shawn in front of Michael, and then telling Michael and Morgan to make good decisions. It's like she's being a parent or something. I also loved her telling Michael to sit down...and him listening. Yeah, you're a real gangster, there, Michael.

I love how the first time someone has a realistic medical response to an explosion, people are confused. "Why can't she hear?" Uh, maybe because a bomb went off in her freaking ear? Also, why did Jason take Lucky out into the hallway to talk to him? Sam can't hear you! Also also, why hasn't he told anyone that Franco's apparently involved in this?

No one should be shocked that Kristina's going after an older guy. Hello, daddy issues!

Lucky may suck at his job, but at least he's dedicated to it. Not many people would come back from a trip to Ireland and go straight to work. Especially when it must be, like, two in the morning.

March 2nd, 2011

Jason tells Sam about the bomb and Brenda's disappearance, but fortunately, she has Molly and Kristina's antics to keep her from getting too upset. Later, she gets out of bed and passes out. Molly stops by to see Shawn and interrupts an attempt on his life by a Balkan henchman. He tries to split town, but Jason stops him at the airport and tells him he'll have to pay for his part in what happened to Sam. The catering van turns up at the airport, burned, but Shawn and Jason both think it's a red herring and Theo still has Brenda in town. Theo tells Suzanne he has Brenda but won't tell her where. Brenda tries to charm a henchman named Jules into freeing her, but he won't budge. Theo tells her everyone thinks she's dead because of a body he left in the limo. Oh, and he wants to talk about the baby. Lisa sees how well Robin and Patrick are getting along and calls in Terrell to do something. He uses the AIDS wing to spend time with Robin, but she's still open to working things out with Patrick. Nikolas and Brook admit their feelings for each other and get with the making out, but he stops it before they can get too far. He tells Lucky that he's afraid of ruining things like he did the last time he went after a woman he wanted. He also thinks Elizabeth wants to get back together with him, and he would feel bad rejecting her.

More Sam/Alexis/Kristina/Molly scenes! More, I say!

Didn't anyone tell Molly that Shawn works (well, worked) for Theo?

So Theo told Brenda that he's Alexander's father, then...sent her to bed? Why didn't they continue their conversation yesterday?

Hey, Nikolas, if you don't want things with Brook to turn out like they did with Elizabeth, there's a simple solution: use a freaking condom.

March 3rd, 2011

Theo interrogates Brenda about the baby and she tells him she miscarried when she was seven months pregnant. He thinks she's lying and gave the baby up for adoption to keep him from Theo. He's shocked to learn that Suzanne was with Brenda at the time and lied to him about what happened to the baby. Brenda tries to get Jules to turn on Theo, and he ends up going to talk to Sonny. Sam's fainting spell freaks Kristina out because of what happened to Ali. Jason asks her to try to hide her fears from Sam, and she realizes that she probably scared him. It�s a moot point, since Sam is fine � and also no longer deaf. Shawn has to go to New York to get into a safety-deposit box, so Jason reluctantly lets him go. He also asks Shawn to investigate any connection between Theo and Franco. Michael tells Abby he wants to get involved in the Brenda investigation, an idea she doesn't support. Molly spots the henchman who tried to kill Shawn, so Michael goes after him, but the henchman pulls a gun on him. Michael tries to get him to flip, promising that Sonny will leave him alone. The henchman would rather stay alive, and threatens to kill Michael when Dante arrives, having been called by Molly. Dante tells Sonny he has to stay out of the investigation into Brenda's kidnapping, so Sonny tries to send him (and Lulu) out of town to keep him out of the way. Johnny hears about the wedding catastrophes from Lulu and suspects that Sonny will soon be coming to him for any information he can get.

Are we supposed to find Jules intimidating? The guy looks like Seth Green. I do not find Seth Green intimidating. Even when he was a werewolf.

I liked the callback to Ali's death. Nice touch, writers. Except for the part where Jason asked Kristina who Ali was. He knew exactly who she was - Michael talked to him about her.

Hee, I loved Michael saying that Abby sounded like Carly, then apologizing profusely.

I guess the new solution to the Corinthos/Lansing kids' problems is to call Dante?

I keep forgetting that Johnny is somehow connected to Theo. And yet they still won't tell us anything!

March 4th, 2011

Dante rescues Michael from the henchman, who he arrests. Sonny wants the chance to work the guy over, and though Dante doesn't want to break the law for him, he finds a way to help: he lets Sonny pay the henchman's bail and then question him in the PCPD. Theo is convinced that Brenda and Alexander's son is still alive, and accuses Suzanne of poisoning their son against him. He vows to find out the truth from either her or Brenda. Even though she would be smart to get the heck out of Dodge before her hubby turns on her, Suzanne tries to get information out of Sam on Sonny's investigation, but Sam doesn't know anything. Jules spots one of Theo's men and chickens out of telling Sonny anything about Brenda. Brenda tries to pick the lock on her door but loses the pick, which Jules secretly returns to her. Later, she manages to successfully escape. Jason confronts Michael about going after the henchman, announcing that that's the closest he'll ever get to the business. Michael disagrees. Sonny's mad that Jason let Shawn go, even though Jason doesn't think he knows anything. Contrary to Sonny's suspicious, Shawn turns up back in town, letting himself into Carly's house and telling her he has a lead on Theo. Jax refuses to give Sonny any information about Theo's stay at the hotel, since the police are supposed to be handling the investigation. Sonny just tells Spinelli to handle it instead. Elizabeth can't get the idea that Lucky could be Aiden's father out of her head and almost asks Sam to tell her if she agrees about their resemblance. She changes her mind when Sam gets distracted by the thought of having a mini-Jason, asking Patrick instead. (He's no help.) Jason wants to give Sam whatever she wants to celebrate her good health (she'll probably ask for a baby).

I have to say that this whole week was really entertaining. All of the actors were great, especially Kelly Monaco, who had some of the most difficult scenes to do. I looked forward to the show every day this week.

Oh, Dante, trying to be all helpful. Let me know how that works out for you.

I have to assume that the only reason Jason hasn't mentioned Franco's phone call is that he's as sick of the guy as I am.

Come on, even old, un-annoying Jax would let Sonny take care of the investigation if it meant getting Brenda back. I hate new, frustrating, jerky Jax. Also, they missed the perfect opportunity to have Sonny try to get the information out of Olivia.

Dear Elizabeth, you are a nurse. You know how to answer this question.

Let's talk about how ironic it is that Carly, Queen of Not Knocking, is ticked that Shawn came into her house without knocking.

March 5th, 2011

Next week: Mobster/police relations improve further, Kristina needs a hobby, and really, Sam and Jason? Is that really an appropriate place for that?

March 7th, 2011

Sonny and Dante play bad cop/ineffective cop and, with an assist from Mac, get the henchman to tell them that he was hired to bring a van to the pavilion. When he arrived, Sam was already in the limo, unconscious. He took an also-unconscious Brenda to the airport, where he handed her over to Theo, then torched the van. Theo accuses Suzanne of freeing Brenda, but she denies having any involvement. Brenda doesn't get very far before she's recaptured, and she keeps quiet about the help Jules gave her. Dante wonders if Theo wants Brenda for information about the baby, rather than revenge. Jason, however, thinks Sonny is the real target. Shawn tells Jason that he has information on a bunch of Theo's holding companies and might be able to come up with an address. He tells Carly he came to her first because she's the only person he trusts. Jason warns Michael that joining the mob would limit his future options, including having a family. He even tells him about Jake to drive the point home. Sam confides in Abby that she wants to have a baby with Jason. Lucky talks to Luke about Siobhan's issues, and Luke tries to dissuade him from a green-card marriage. That's looking more and more likely, though, since Siobhan now has until the end of the month to leave the country. Dante discusses his conflicting feelings about Sonny with Lulu. Michael offers to get Abby a job, but she wants to do it on her own.

Brenda telling Theo to go to Hell like it was a toast was absolutely my favorite part of this episode.

Hey, Jason, feel free to tell someone - anyone - that Franco might be connected to Theo any time.

Michael, you were doing so well with being likable! Don't ruin it now!

At least there's a deadline on this Siobhan thing, so they can't drag it out too much.

March 8th, 2011

Theo drills Brenda about the baby, but she tells him she would never let her child near Theo. Dante wonders if Brenda and Suzanne might have concocted the story about the baby being stillborn. Theo overhears Brenda trying to get Jules to tell Sonny everything he knows about her kidnapping. Sonny really, really thinks Theo's out to get him, though in this case he's actually right, since Theo tells Brenda he wants to drive Sonny crazy. Lucky brings up the green-card marriage again, even going so far as to tell Elizabeth that it could happen. Elizabeth is already having a bad day since she just complained to Nikolas about Brook and he told her to knock it off (and then went home and had sex with Brook). She caps everything off by running another paternity test. Sam's celebration involves a movie. Yes, that's it.

Jules no longer reminds me of Seth Green. Instead, I see him as a poor man's Spinelli.

Man, I knew Sonny tended to make it all about himself, but even this is over the top.

Please. Sam McCall doesn't cry at movies.

Today's MOTE goes to Adrianna Leon for her hilariously manic "let's just get it on" monologue.

March 9th, 2011

Theo interrogates Suzanne about the baby, trying to establish when she might have gone to visit him. Dante thinks Brenda lied about the baby, but Sonny's sure a) she told him the truth and b) she would never give her own child away. Jason tells Spinelli he can keep him in the book if he finds something that will lead them to Brenda. Spinelli keeps up his end of the deal, turning up proof that Suzanne and Theo are married. Jules approaches Sonny again, this time telling him he knows where Brenda is. Jax finds Shawn at Carly's house and gets mad that she's involved in something dangerous. He tells her Josslyn's staying with him, then tries to get their custody agreement changed so she has to keep a "safe and sane" household. Maxie and Matt break into Johnny's penthouse, and though they don't find the syringe, they do confirm that Johnny's blackmailing Lisa. And then they have to stay for the floor show. Olivia and Steven spot Johnny and Lisa while they're out to lunch, and Steven wonders if Olivia's trying to make him jealous. She admits that she still cares about Johnny but doesn't plan to go back to him. Luke gets Siobhan some fake IDs, but she and Lucky decide to get married.

Hey, Dante, you know why Spinelli found out useful information before you - a detective - did? Because he doesn't keep talking about the freaking baby. Unless that baby (er, almost-four-year-old, now) can find Brenda, there's no point in talking about him. So SHUT UP.

So Brenda's just allowed to wander around the underground lair? What if she runs into Suzanne? See, this is why I keep saying Theo sucks at his job.

People who need to learn to knock: Jax and Dante.

More Luke and Alexis! I demand more Luke and Alexis! I mean, he didn't even call her Natasha today.

Today's MOTE goes to Kirsten Storms for the faces of disgust she made while having to watch Lisa and Johnny get it on.

March 10th, 2011

Poor, doomed Jules tells Sonny where Brenda is while Suzanne agrees to take Jason there. Sonny and Dante join the rescue mission, with the plan being that Suzanne will lead Theo out of the underground lair, Jason and Dante will nab him, and Sonny will get Brenda. It sort of works, in that Sonny�s able to get to Brenda, but Theo uses Suzanne as a human shield and faces off with Jason and Dante. Also, Brenda's been knocked out by a neurotoxin. Maxie and Matt report what they've learned to Robin and Patrick, who break into Johnny's penthouse to look for the syringe themselves. They don't find it, of course, and Johnny and Lisa catch them. Kristina still wants Ethan, and even arranges for him and Maya to possibly become her neighbors.

Theo really needs to work on inspiring loyalty in his people. Three of them have now turned on him - and that includes his wife.

Dear Dante, say it with me: backup. (But I did love him telling Agent Bates, "Lulu Spencer says hey.")

I kind of want Robin and Patrick to get arrested. I think it would be funny.

For not being related to Carly at all, Kristina sure is just like her. And I bet Maya never thought she'd have to look out for a 17-year-old.


In case you're the sort of person who likes them...teasers!

In the next couple of weeks, we'll be getting a huge plotline. Sweeps huge. I suspect it was originally created to lead to Becky Herbst's exit; instead, if she can pull it off, I wouldn't be surprised if it lands her an Emmy nomination. It's going to affect a good number of characters, and will dovetail with another plotline, which is also pretty big. It's about to get super sad up in here. I don't think Becky will be the only one with an Emmy nod - these two storylines could easily produce them for Steve Burton, Laura Wright, and Jonathan Jackson as well.

March 11th, 2011

Jason and Dante have to let Theo go so they can get Brenda out of the lair, but they manage to track him to an airstrip and arrive just as he's taking off with Suzanne in a helicopter. Patrick and Robin can't figure out the antidote to save Brenda, but they think they're close. Angry with Jax for trying to keep Josslyn from her, Carly turns to Luke, agreeing to let him do something devious to get Jax to back off. Maxie confides in Matt that Lisa scares her because they're a little similar (because of the stuff that happened with Lucky). Matt assures her that he wouldn�t be with her if she were anything like Lisa. Michael and Abby have a date at her place, which Kristina tells Carly about, in hopes that she'll break it up. Johnny defends Lisa to Robin and Patrick, then throws them out. Lisa's on to his way of thinking about her as being like Claudia.

I feel like the writers wrote themselves into a corner with the Brenda/Balkan stuff. Things seem anticlimactic now. Maybe because she doesn't actually look sick, and the scenes seem disjointed, so I don't feel any sense of urgency.

Really loving the Carly/Luke scenes. What took the writers so long to team them up?

Okay, I'll admit it: Maxie and Matt are kind of adorable together.

Next can Johnny yell at Kristina to go back to therapy?

March 12th, 2011

Next week: If Elizabeth thought last week was rough, she has no idea.

March 14th, 2011

Brenda gets worse, then better, because even death is afraid of Sonny. Jason tries to shoot down Theo's helicopter, but Dante stops him and calls Mac. Not that that'll stop Jason from trying to hunt Theo down. Mac makes it clear that if Dante wants to continue to work for the PCPD, he can't work with the mob anymore. Dante is sufficiently chastened and tells Lulu he's going to listen to Mac. Michael's more than willing to mob up instead. Luke and Ethan work on a plan against Jax involving stolen diamonds. Tracy's unhappy about it, so Luke tries to distract her with the promise of a vacation. Kristina's possessiveness of Michael is a little creepy, and she won't cut it out even after Carly compares their situation to her friendship with Jason.

I can't believe Robin said what she did about Sonny's love saving Brenda with a straight face. Gag. It's such a Molly thing to say.

Why in the world would Jason ask Carly to go to the hospital because Brenda might be dying? He should be surprised Carly isn't organizing a party to celebrate.

Dear Tracy, I'm pretty sure you're not going on vacation any time soon.

Dante, when Lulu says she forgives you, that means you can stop apologizing.

March 15th, 2011

Spinelli uncovers a link between Theo and the Trujillos, and when Jason confronts them, they quickly give Johnny up. Johnny admits that he did some work for the Trujillos, including taking out Jerry's henchman, but he denies doing anything to Sam or knowing that Brenda was a target. Carly approves of Luke and Ethan's plan to plant stolen diamonds in Jax's room, but draws the line at them calling the police. They almost get caught by Jax while they're leaving the diamonds, then do get caught by a suspicious Alexis outside his room. Meanwhile, Carly tells Jax the diamonds are there and Agent Bates is on his way, so he better decide how much he really wants custody. Michael hears about a shipment arriving and tells Spinelli not to inform Jason, planning to handle it himself. Robin and Patrick pick on Lisa, who runs to Johnny to complain. He tells her to get over it already and start over. Then he sends her and Robin notes telling them to meet at his penthouse at 5. Elizabeth catches Nikolas and Brook pre-sex, which leads to another fight. Elizabeth declares that as long as Brook lives at Wyndemere, Aiden won't be visiting. Terrell's a little perturbed to learn that Lisa really is crazy.

Dear Michael, I will not cry if you get yourself killed. Moron.

Uh, why didn't Johnny just text Robin and Lisa to go to his place at 5?

Here is why Brook and Steven are awesome: They cut through all the bull and tell it like it is.

Congratulations, Nikolas, I'm pretty sure you just chose your new girlfriend over your fake son.

March 16th, 2011

Sonny wants to get revenge on Theo, but he also wants to go on his honeymoon, which looks like it's going to win out. Johnny sends Lisa and Robin on two separate treasure hunts to find the syringe (which he's hidden in plain sight at the Haunted Star). Lisa's clues send her to Steven's office, where she's promptly fired, while Robin's send her to Carly's house. Abby tells Jason what Michael's up to, but not in enough time for him to get him out of there before Dante and Ronnie arrive. Yes, Dante, you're holding a gun on your little brother. Johnny isn't much help in the Theo department, though he did overhear Theo talking about Paris. Agent Bates thinks Luke stole the diamonds and is working with Jax. Carly, Jax, Luke, Ethan, and Alexis all cover for each other but promise to give Bates the diamonds. Elizabeth is less than happy to hear that Lucky and Siobhan are getting married tonight. Lulu thinks she should shut up. Sam wants to help with the Theo investigation, even though she's having headaches. Dante is totally whipped.

Are they trying to make Elizabeth extra annoying so everyone will feel extra sorry for her starting tomorrow? (Uh, spoiler.)

Dear Johnny, I love you the mostest. Putting one of Robin's clues in Carly's house was just brilliant.

Thank you, Abby, for being smart. It's like the dumber Michael gets, the smarter you get.

I loved the joke about Alexis being the only lawyer in town, because it's basically true. By the way, where's Claire?

March 17th, 2011

Patrick tries to convince Johnny that Lisa's crazy and he needs to call off the treasure hunts so Lisa can't get the syringe. Johnny declines, but does give Patrick a clue that helps Robin figure out that the syringe is at the Haunted Star. She grabs it just before Lisa arrives, then tries to beat her back to the hospital. Jason helps Michael ditch Dante on the pier, then lectures him about risking his freedom. Dante warns Jason that sooner or later, he'll put him back in jail. Sonny and Brenda head off on their honeymoon. Siobhan has second thoughts about the wedding, which would make Luke happy, since he wants to stop it. Sam stalks a possible Balkan henchman. Jax takes Josslyn to the hospital. Elizabeth gets the paternity-test results but can't open them before she's distracted by the realization that the front door is open and Jake is missing. As Luke, Robin, Lisa, Sonny and Brenda, Carly, and Sam all drive to their various destinations, Elizabeth witnesses something horrifying.

Montages of people driving are rarely good. This one is especially bad. Make sure you have Kleenex nearby.

Does this mean Johnny wants Robin to beat Lisa? I kind of think he wants Lisa to hit rock bottom so she'll finally have to listen to him. Or maybe he just thinks it would be more amusing if Robin won.

Jason, I think Michael's a lost cause. Focus your attention on Morgan instead.

So when did Carly get a driver's license? That should never have happened.

March 18th, 2011

Things don't look good for Jake, who's taken to emergency surgery for a head injury. Luke actually wants to be a witness at the wedding, not stop it, but it's a moot point since it gets interrupted off when Elizabeth calls Lucky to the hospital. Lucky in turn calls Jason to let him know what happened. Josslyn may have kidney cancer. Theo searches for his grandson, who apparently lives in Port Charles. Lisa tries to make it look like Robin's gaslighting her.

Happy the Writers Hate Children Day!

So we're obviously supposed to believe that Sonny, Sam, Carly, Luke, Robin, or Lisa ran Jake down. I'm going to go with G) none of the above. Even Lisa isn't heartless enough to hit a kid and then drive away. Sam's the only one who could do it without realizing, but I don't think she was that far gone. And I'm not sure the writers would have her kill her boyfriend's son. Theo seems like the best bet at this point. Or maybe Franco snuck into town?

I like to think that Rebecca Herbst's acting in this storyline is just a big eff you to the showrunners for firing her, because she can do worked-up/freaked-out mom better than almost anyone.

Interesting that Michael didn't tell Carly why he was at the hospital, and that Carly didn't call Jason.

March 19th, 2011

Next week: Seriously, Kleenex.

March 21st, 2011

Patrick and Robin operate on Jake, but he's brain dead. Jason learns this from the observation room and tells Lucky, who tells Elizabeth. Terrell tells Carly and Jax that Josslyn needs either chemo or a kidney transplant. Carly overhears Patrick and Robin telling Lucky and Elizabeth that Jake is on life support and they could donate his organs. She goes to Jason and tells him, "Your son could save my daughter." Sam and Dante team up to investigate who the driver was. Tracy asks Luke and Lulu not to tell Edward that Jake was Jason's son. Patrick is furious with himself for not saving Jake. Michael tells Abby that he finally understands how the adults in his life feel about their children.

So...yeah. I'm going to need to watch a comedy after every episode this week.

Is it too much to hope that Bobbie makes an appearance this week? Not only is her granddaughter sick, but she had Elizabeth's storyline 15 years ago.

Hey, Tracy, that news is going to get out and get out fast, so good luck keeping it from Edward.

If not Bobbie, can we have Monica?

March 22nd, 2011

Jason asks Elizabeth to donate Jake's organs, and she slaps him and calls him selfish. Jason asks Lucky instead, and Lucky talks Elizabeth into it. Of course, Jake is a match for Josslyn, and they take her right to surgery. Jason goes to Elizabeth's house and sees the motorcycle he and Jake played with together. Sam and Dante look at footage from security cameras near the house to see who drove by around the time Jake was hit. Sam realizes she was in the area, but the forensics department determines that her car didn't hit anything. Their list of suspects still includes Carly, Robin, Sonny, Luke, Lisa, and a car with fake plates. Robin tells Patrick that they've spent too much time apart and she wants him to come home. Kristina tells Abby that Michael doesn't need her and gets her to leave the hospital. Nikolas tells Luke to be a father for once and go to Lucky. It doesn't work, but Lucky winds up coming to him.

Writers, if you want us to feel sympathy for Elizabeth, don't give her over-the-top stuff like the crap you gave her today.

I wouldn't know, but I'm guessing your car hitting a pothole feels a lot different from your car hitting a child.

Ha ha, sucks to be Lisa!

Hey, where did Lulu go?

March 23rd, 2011

Ronnie impounds Sonny's car to find out if he hit Jake. Kristina distracts him so Michael can steal a copy of the suspect list, which is how he finds out Carly's on it. He wants to cover it up and not let Carly know, but Luke tells her. (He found out from Lulu, who got a look at the list.) Sonny and Robin are both cleared, but Michael finds scrapes on Carly's bumper. Lisa stole the syringe from Robin's locker sometime during the Jake crisis, and when she tells Johnny, he calls her a drama junkie. Suzanne did warn Brenda's son's family that Theo was on his way, and now they're in Louisiana. Theo heads down there, ditching Suzanne for betraying him.

It's totally inappropriate under the circumstances, but I do like the continuity that Carly's a bad driver.

Really, Luke? Did you think that was a good time to tell Carly she might have killed someone? Also, Abby, you forgot something in your worst-case scenario: Carly could go to JAIL, genius.

I take it back, Lisa is heartless enough to hit a kid and keep driving.

Dang, new Emma is super-cute. She looks kind of like little Kristina from a few years ago. Love the curls!

Here are some lovely outtakes of Elizabeth Taylor as the original Helena. My favorite part is how she couldn't pronounce Cassadine.

March 24th, 2011

Mac tells Dante about Michael and Kristina's visit to the police station, which makes Dante suspicious. Michael takes Carly's car and tells Dante he got into a fender-bender in it. It's a nice try, but Dante doesn't buy it. Carly freaks out over the possibility that she killed Jake and tells Jason that she thinks she did it. Robin and Patrick are sure that Lisa killed Jake, but she's innocent. Still crazy, but innocent. Luke and Lulu think it was whoever was driving the car with the fake plates. Olivia's all helpful and stuff.

You'd think Michael of all people would know how bad an idea a cover-up is. Though I'm not surprised he thought Dante's dumb enough to fall for it.

If Steve Burton and Jonathan Jackson don't get Emmys from this storyline, something is very wrong with the world.

Robin and Patrick, when you accuse someone of homicide without any evidence, it just makes YOU look like the crazy ones.

I'm still going with Franco as the killer. Prove me wrong, show!

March 25th, 2011

Jason isn't angry with Carly, since he knows Jake's death was an accident, but Lucky is furious and yells at Luke and Lulu about how Carly only focuses on herself. Then Carly gets cleared, so her day is looking up, at least until Franco sends her a video message promising to keep a closer eye on Josslyn in the future. Forensics finally finds the guilty driver - Luke. He's horrified at the news and tells Lucky he doesn't remember hitting Jake, but Lucky figures it's probably because he was drunk. Elizabeth tries to get on with the rest of her life, apologizing to Jason for the things she said to him when he talked to her about organ donation. Speaking of apologizing, Lulu wants to mend things with Elizabeth. Michael and Abby are about to have sex.

Luke Spencer: rapist. Alcoholic. Grandson-killer. Good times.

Did anyone else do a full-body shudder when Franco said he'd be keeping an eye out for Josslyn? It couldn't have just been me.

Elizabeth should have let Jason keep the motorcycle.

Since you're your father's son, Michael, I must remind you to wear a condom. If Carly were to become a grandmother, she would flip out.

I'd love to see Dante try to argue with Diane about bringing Jason to the police station in a squad car to give him news he could have given him anywhere. Shut up, Dante.

March 26th, 2011

Next week: The police might have to actually do their jobs.

March 28th, 2011

Luke admits that he had "a drink" before driving, but denies that he was drunk. Lucky says he's an addict in denial. Dante tells Jason that Luke hit Jake, and Jason immediately guesses that he was drunk. Lucky goes looking for Jason, wanting to stop him from killing Luke, but Luke already expects it and offers up his own gun for Jason to use. Carly tells Sam about Franco's message, and Sam encourages her to take it to Jason. Jason promises to take care of it, which is probably why Shawn later tells Carly he's going to be her bodyguard. Dante tells Elizabeth and Lulu that Luke hit Jake, and Lulu freaks out, sharing the news with Tracy. Michael and Abby have lots of sex.

The only problem with seeing old flashbacks is being reminded that someone let Jonathan Jackson wear his hair like that for, like, two years.

This might not be the best time to bring it up, but is Siobhan going to get deported? Because I don't see her getting married in the next two days.

As far as I'm concerned, it's not a question of if Carly and Shawn will have sex, but when.

Abby, talking about not tempting fate is just tempting fate more. P.S. Your sheets are really cute.

March 29th, 2011

Jason admits that he wants to kill Luke but won't because he doesn't want to send Michael the wrong message. Luke continues denying that he has a drinking problem, even to Tracy. Lucky blames himself for Jake's death since he was supposed to have the boys instead of Elizabeth. Jax is ticked about Shawn guarding Carly. Sonny and Brenda return from their honeymoon, and Sonny jumps right into the Jake storyline. Brandon is out on bail and happy to take Michael to court to try to get him busted for assault. Brenda asks Carly for a fresh start.

I love how people keep saying Luke doesn't get drunk. Hey, Luke, remember your wedding to Tracy? Oh, right, you can't - because you were drunk.

I hope you have your things packed, Siobhan - I think you have to leave the country tomorrow.

Whatever, Jax, you're just jealous because Shawn's as hot as you are.

See, Abby? You tempted fate.

March 30th, 2011

Sonny insists that Jake's death was an accident and urges Luke not to blame himself. He later admits to Brenda that if he had killed a child, he would want that child's parents to come after him. Elizabeth blames herself for the hit-and-run, even after she learns that Luke had been drinking. Suzanne joins Theo at the house in Louisiana, telling him they'll raise their grandson together, then slits his throat. Abby wants to drop the charges against Brandon since she's afraid Michael will have to testify and might get sent back to Pentonville. Michael tells her he'll just take care of Brandon himself, which is exactly what Dante was worried about. Shawn makes Brenda leave Carly alone, then takes one step closer to Carly's bed by being cute with Josslyn. Emma: still adorable. Lisa: still a crazy stalker.

Can we stop watching Luke deny that he was drunk and actually do something, please?

Congratulations, Suzanne: you are officially a better villain than your husband.

Also, can we stop with the whole Michael-wants-to-be-a-gangsta thing?

Now taking bets on when Carly and Shawn get it on.

March 31st, 2011

Dante finally gets around to questioning Luke about the hit-and-run. Jason and Luke both skip Jake's memorial and wind up at Josslyn's room, where Jason keeps Luke from seeing her. He then gets to practice his dad skills on her. Abby is furious when she realizes Michael is carrying a gun. Elizabeth finally opens the paternity-test results, but declines to share them with us. Lulu worries that Jake's death will destroy the Spencers. Brenda's birthday wish is probably for a baby. Lisa tries to get close to Kristina, who is suddenly close with Robin and Patrick? Or something? Carly offers to stand by Luke no matter what happens.

Yet another reason the PCPD sucks: they took this long to question Luke.

Sam and Jason better have a baby after all of this.

Sonny didn't go to his best friend's son's funeral? Someone sucks at being a good friend.

I can count on one hand the number of times Kristina has talked to Robin (I think they were all related to Mac and Alexis), so her offering to babysit was really weird. And her talking to Lisa was even weirder.

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