General Hospital blog - May, 2006

May 1st, 2006

Sam undergoes surgery while Jason blames himself for the shooting. Jason warns Emily that heíll be coming after Sonny. Sonny is relieved to discover that he wasnít responsible for Samís shooting, but Emily realizes that she canít be with the man who tried to kill her brother. Jason warns Sonny to say goodbye to his family. Patrick comforts Robin. Manny rearranges his hit list, setting his sights on Carly next. Luke, Robert, and Holly all catch up and Robert canít decide who to capture for a reward. Carly decides that she canít let Sonny around her kids anymore.

So, Jason was really creepy today. ďGo home and say goodbye to your family.Ē Yeah, Sonny, I would take that advice.

I wonder where Manny learned computer skills. Heís quite good.

Hey, Robin? I like you and all, but when did this become about you?

Same to you, Carly. Except for the liking you part.

May 2nd, 2006

Sam dreams of telling Alexis that sheís her daughter. She and Jason worry that sheíll need a hysterectomy, because this is General Hospital. Patrick attempts to use toy cars to seduce Robin. Luke, Robert, and Holly wind up locked up together. Carly takes the kids. Emily forgives Sonny.

I think no matter what Sonny says, Jason should respond with, ďIím sorry, can I get back to you after Iíve washed my fiancťeís blood off of my hands?Ē

Emily! You idiot. You were so close.

Can we please have a Jason/Monica scene? I promise Iíll never ask for anything again. Okay, we all know thatís not true, but still, please?

I donít get Robin and Patrickís relationship, or whatever you want to call it. Itís too bizarre for me.

May 3rd, 2006

Carly and Durant are trapped in Jaxís house as Manny and another guy shoot at them. Sam comes close to telling Alexis that sheís her daughter. Patrick loses a patient whose son reminds him of himself. Luke, Holly, and Robert attempt to rough it. Emily, Elizabeth, Robin, and Kelly decide to soothe themselves with tequila shots after a rough day.

I think Lainey is supposed to join the tequila chicks. I wonder why they put Kelly in there instead of Epiphany, since Kelly never does anything.

Aww, Manny, canít you torture them a little longer?

I canít wait until Anna joins the bickering trio. Thatíll be so much fun.

If I were Sam, Iíd say to Alexis, ďYou have no right to say anything about my relationship. Who are you, my mother?Ē

May 4th, 2006

Robin, Emily, Elizabeth, Kelly, and Lainey do tequila shots and fantasize about Patrick. Robin winds up propositioning Patrick, who resists, and Emily tells Sonny they can only have sex from now on, then passes out before anything happens. Stan alerts Jason to Ricís plans to get Sonny a deal with a guy named Herrera so they can take advantage of Jasonís distractions over Sam. Alexis arrives at Sonnyís house in time to find Jason holding Ric at gunpoint. Durant bleeds to death. Noah tells Patrick that heís a better surgeon because he faced his patientís son while Noah chickened out of telling Patrick that his mother had died.

More tequila chicks! Those were some of the funniest scenes ever. I went back and watched all the scenes again. These were the best parts (and itís hard to choose):
- Lainey sipping her shot instead of ďshootingĒ it
- Robin sucking a lime like a squirrel chewing a nut
- ďLick it, slam it, suck it,Ē and Lainey failing miserably to get the words right
- Robin telling Coleman, ďI like your shirtĒ
- Robinís ďspyingĒ eyes and inability to pronounce ďespionageĒ
- Kelly ruining the moment by basically announcing that Sam is going to die
- Emily advocating Carly and Jasonís sex-only relationship
- Robin announcing that Carly likes being a tramp
- Copious uses of the word ďbangĒ
- The five Patrick fantasies (of course)
- Everyone chair-dancing at the bar
- Patrick ripping his own shirt in Emilyís fantasy after everyone else ripped it for him
- ďWhatís this couch doing here?Ē ďI donít know, itís your fantasyĒ

ĎBye, Durant! I...totally donít care.

Yay, thanks for the Jason/Monica scene! And the Sam/Monica scene was kind of nice, too.

Doesnít it seem like they cut a scene between Max and Milo taking Emily upstairs and Jason holding Ric at gunpoint? They could have at least mentioned that Ric or Jason had arrived. Kind of strange.

May 5th, 2006

After being told that Sam is dying, Jason tells Alexis that sheís her daughter. Dr. Meadows requests another paternity test on John. Alexis inherits the job of DA. Carly changes her mind about keeping Michael and Morgan away from Sonny. Sonny regrets trying to take advantage of Samís condition to go after Jason. Luke, Robert, and Holly...oh, whatever.

Aaaaaand weíre officially in May sweeps. Thanks, Jason! (Also, yay for the Jason/Monica scene!)

I think now that Alexis has a demanding job, Ric should become a stay-at-home dad. That would rock.

Itís pretty bad that in the middle of one of those stupid mishmash Robert/Holly/Luke scenes that seem like a bunch of bad plot ideas all thrown together, I loudly announced, ďThis is stupid.Ē

Please tell me Dr. Meadows is sticking around. Sheís awesome.

May 6th, 2006

Jane is coming! Jane is coming! Rock on!

May 8th, 2006

All is forgiven between Alexis and Sam. Alexis demands that Kelly do more to save her, but nothing she does helps. Ric suspects that Jason has gone after Alexis, but Sonny tells him that she is Samís mother. Jax invites Carly, Michael, and Morgan to come to Australia with him and John to visit Jane. Robin, Patrick, Lulu, and Dillon track down Luke, Robert, and Holly in the Maarkams. Dr. Meadows has Johnís test results sent to Robin. Lucky canít decide what to think about Elizabeth and Patrickís possible affair.

Dang, when Jason cries, you know things are bad. Also, never tell Alexis that one of her relatives is dying. Thatís just asking for trouble.

Why are Johnís paternity test results being sent to Robin? Not that that wonít make things interesting (because...shadows of Michael, anyone?), but itís just a little random.

Like I said before, yay! Jane!

Someone take away Luckyís hydrocodone before itís too late. Thatís the same thing Brenda and Alan got hooked on. Next thing we know, Lucky will be calling up Tammy (which might not actually be bad, since we never found out what happened to her) and detoxing in a cave with Sonny.

Robin + Patrick + Lulu + Dillon = best idea ever. Also, it looks like Robin may have inherited some super spy skills.

May 9th, 2006

Emily organizes a blood drive for Sam. Robin and Lulu try to convince their fathers that theyíre too old for capers. Maxie stumbles upon Johnís paternity results. Lucky asks Detective Rodriguez to follow Elizabeth. Nikolas blasts Jason for not telling Alexis about Sam sooner.

More Robin and Lulu, please! Also, hee, Patrick is totally in love with Holly and heís only known her five minutes. Are we looking at a love pentagon?

So Emilyís master plan was nagging people? Makes sense.

I still think the mayor and a bunch of other people are going to be ticked when they find out that Alexis had a child as a teenager. Oh, and Nikolas? Shhh. We know you have mommy (and daddy and uncle and grandma) issues, but no one wants to hear it.

Lucky. Shut up. Please. I beg of you.

May 10th, 2006

After Sam develops intracranial edema, Elizabeth tells Jason that Patrick could perform a life-saving operation, but Kelly tells Alexis that itís too risky. Lulu organizes a make-out party to distract bounty hunters from finding Robert, Luke, and Holly. The mayor encourages Alexis to put Jason away and endear herself to the public. Maxie attempts to contact Jax about Johnís paternity. Diego steals Edwardís car to get money from Coleman so he can take Georgie to the prom. Lucas invites Guy to the prom.

Hee! Epiphany is Stanís mom! I donít know why thatís so awesome, but it is.

Also awesome - Diego stole Edwardís car.

Kelly Monaco gets the fun job this week.

Oh, Lucky. Donít drink. Or talk.

May 11th, 2006

Jason signs off on surgery for Sam, but Alexis gets a court order to stop it. The bounty hunters capture the Maarkam visitors. The Escobars try to woo Alcazar with baby gifts, which he doesnít wait. When he has Diego return them, Escobar offers Diego a job. Skye warns Georgie not to get too involved with Diego. Sonny buys a bunch of crap.

Happy Birthday, Sam! You get...a big hole in your head. Or maybe not.

What kind of jet was Patrick on that got him back to the States while the others in the Maarkams were still eating breakfast?

Sonny is annoying. That is all.

Good job, Diego. Hope he gets killed.

May 12th, 2006

Patrick and Jason conspire to get Sam into surgery despite the court order. The Maarkam crew defeat the bounty hunters then get a visit from Anna. Carly and Jane square off, and after Carly wins their first battle, Jane passes out. Emily wonders why Sonny is acting so strangely.

Awww, we have Anna and Jane, just in time for Motherís Day! (Alexisí wonít be quite as pleasant, it appears.) Also, I donít know how old Finola Hughes is, but sheís hot.

Am I supposed to be finding Sonny cute?

See you in the unemployment line, Patrick!

Iím probably not supposed to think ďif you donít do the surgery, Iíll shoot youĒ was funny, but it was. Great delivery on that.

May 15th, 2006

Samís surgery is successful but Jason, Patrick, Elizabeth, and Epiphany are arrested anyway. Robin tries to get Anna and Robert to communicate. Holly turns her charm on Dillon. After Carly convinces her that she and Jax are good for each other, Jane suggests that they get married. Sonny wants to go to Vegas with Ric and Emily. Max combines his two favorite fantasies - Sonnyís new car and Carly.

Come on! Why couldnít Sonny and Emily get arrested, too? Having the two of them stuck with Jason, Patrick, Elizabeth, and Epiphany wouldíve been great.

I guess I shouldnít be surprised that Sonny is all, ďWho cares about Sam? Letís go to Vegas!Ē

Awww, the surgery worked. Looks good on ya, Noah!

Robert and Anna are Jack and Irina Bristow, if Anna were 10 million times more evil.

May 16th, 2006

After getting the charges against everyone dropped, Alexis has Sam moved without telling Jason. Robin wonders why Robert and Anna never worked things out, since they obviously still love each other. Jax proposes to Carly, who says she wonít marry him yet. Maxie takes steps to blackmail Jax. Max thinks that Sonnyís happiness is a bad sign.

More traumatized Dillon! That kid just canít win.

If Robert loves Anna so much, then why doesnít he just, you know, ignore Holly?

I kind of donít care what Elizabeth and Patrick are up to. Theyíre probably taking ballroom dancing lessons or something.

Maxieís thought process is spot on for her character. ďHmmm, I seem to have stumbled upon a rich personís confidential information. Ooh, blackmail. Ooh, money. Ooh, a car!Ē

May 17th, 2006

Anna snags Hollyís jewels. Holly and Luke are about to escape together when Tracy shows up. Jason canít get Samís location from Alexis, but Monica gets it for him just as Ric suggests that Alexis stop being unfair. Jax decides to come clean to Nikolas before his blackmailer can get any further. Carly almost catches Maxie and Diego demanding more from Jax. Emily gets upset when Jason wonít accept her attempts to reconcile. Patrick wonít feed Luckyís habit.

Iím sorry...Ric cares about Sam? Since when?

Hee, Keyser Soze. Nice try, Anna.

Sorry, Lucky. Iím so over you and your issues.

Maxie is so desperate that sheíll work with Diego? I donít buy it.

May 18th, 2006

Alexis agrees to bring Sam back to GH but wants Jason to stay away from her. As Anna, Robin, Lulu, and Dillon are leaving, Luke grabs Annaís knock-out drops and uses them on Robert and Tracy so theyíll wind up in bed together. Emily grows more suspicious of Sonnyís erratic behavior. Maxie prepares to tell Nikolas that heís Johnís father. Carly suspects that Dr. Meadows might be blackmailing Jax.

Shut up, Sonny. Shut up a million times.

Oh, Alexis. That will never work.

I donít understand anything thatís going on with Luke and Robert and all of them. But Iím sure itíll end up being interesting. At least I hope so. smart and so dumb, all at the same time.

May 19th, 2006

Everyone thinks Sam would be better off without Jason. Sam regains consciousness and makes it clear sheís not letting him go anywhere. Emily and Lainey suspect that Sonny is bipolar. Holly escapes with the (fake) jewels but is intercepted by Anna. The bounty hunters return and get the real jewels from Tracy, Luke, and Robert. Maxie gives the news about Johnís paternity to Robin instead of Nikolas. Jax doesnít want Nikolas to see John anymore.

Helena! Next week! Be there! Iím sure itíll be awesome.

When Robin inevitably spills about Johnís paternity, since she can never seem to keep her mouth shut, Iím sure Carly will note the parallel between this and her spilling about Michaelís paternity.

ďYou are my whole world.Ē Take that, Alexis! Also, Sam is a big girl and sheís not stupid. I think she knows the risks of being with Jason. So leave her alone, everyone.

Oh, Emily. You never learned to lie well. You should just tell Sonny youíre doing research for a paper.

May 22nd, 2006

Jason tells Sam that they canít be together anymore. Sonny denies that anythingís wrong with him and Emily grows nervous about him being along with Michael and Morgan. Nikolas warns Lulu that Helena is on the loose again. Dillon catches Georgie and Diego kissing at the prom. Robin vows not to let Carly get away with anything. Elizabeth tells Lucky why sheís really been going to the Cosmopolitan with Patrick - theyíve been treating a patient there. Maxie looks to Lucky for comfort.

Look what youíve done, Alexis. LOOK WHAT YOUíVE DONE. Your punishment is to listen to Sam cry for the next month.

Ew. Nikolas, Lulu doesnít want you to take her to the prom. Thatís so wrong.

Dear Dillon: break up with Georgie already. Then she and Diego can do...whatever, and youíll be free to be with Lulu, who is so much cooler than Georgie. And probably wonít cheat on you.

Whoa. All of a sudden Robin has bad hair and cool clothes and a lot of confidence. What happened?

May 23rd, 2006

Elizabeth and Jason confide in each other about their troubled relationships. Helena hides out in Port Charles. After fighting with Diego, Dillon tries to use Lulu to make Georgie jealous. Robin and Patrick come close to having sex but are interrupted.

Hi, Helena! Please cause some trouble. I beg of you. Also, I canít wait until you find out that Sam is Alexisí daughter.

Speaking of Alexis...dang, is Sam going to be ticked when she finds out Alexis pressured Jason to break up with her.

Considering how moral Robin is, I think the only thing that will stop her from telling Nikolas that heís Johnís father is the possibility of what Helena will do when she finds out.

Hi, Lucas and Guy? You know nothing about the situation, so shut up. Also, Georgie kissing Diego is much worse than Dillon dancing with Lulu. So shut up again.

May 24th, 2006

Robert moves into Quartermaine mansion on the condition that he get rid of Luke. Alexis tells Kristina that Sam is her sister. Jason takes over the Escobarsí business. Robin isnít happy to hear what Helena would do to John if she knew he was a Cassadine. Alcazar doesnít want Diego in the mob because heís afraid heíll turn out like Jason.

Yep, I figured it would be Helena who would make Robin ultimately keep quiet.

ďCan I be cynical now, Uncle Mac?Ē Heh.

Interesting that until Rodriguez mentioned him, Iíd completely forgotten about Durant. It was nice.

Awww, I want Kristina to be MY little sister!

May 25th, 2006

Dillon and Georgie decide to get an annulment but stay together, which pleases Lulu. Sam asks Emily and Carly to appeal to Jason on her behalf, but Alexis asks Carly to side with her instead. Someone takes a shot at Jason and Emily through the penthouse window. Jason pays a bunch of Elizabeth and Luckyís expenses. Just before having sex with Patrick, Robin realizes that Anna was right about him being like Robert. They get past it but are interrupted again when Robert arrives to talk to Patrick about his intentions. Diego wants to work for Jason. Nikolas is confused when Jax invites him to Johnís christening.

Georgie and Dillon are just too weird for me.

Wow, Alexis, if youíre desperate enough to ask Carly to side with you on something, maybe you should realize that youíve gone too far.

How did someone shoot all the way up through a penthouse window? Thatís a little unrealistic.

Ewwww. How can Robin have sex (almost) with Patrick just after talking about Robert? Ewwwwwwwwww.

May 26th, 2006

Sonny goes after Escobar for almost killing Emily, and Jason saves him, then blasts him for being reckless. Alexis tells Sam that she and Ric have bought a house (which they havenít, yet) and sheís welcome to move in with them. Nikolas gives Sam a Cassadine history lesson. Helena seems to know that Jax isnít Johnís father. Robin thinks Robert wants to prove that he and Patrick are a like, but he really wants Robin to find love. Maxie forges a prescription for Lucky.

Apparently Finola Hughes was only supposed to be back for a week, but sheíll be back next month and will stick around the rest of the summer. Yay! I havenít heard anything about Tristan Rogersí tour of duty, but heís still here, so that must mean something.

I liked Nikolasí little Cassadine history lesson for Sam. I keep forgetting theyíre first cousins.

Aaaaaand Maxie is officially a criminal. I figured it was inevitable, but I didnít think it would happen this soon.

Jax, Helena isnít someone you want holding something over your head. Maybe you should tell Nikolas now and beat her to it.

May 29th, 2006

Sonny seems violently jealous of Nikolas and Emily. Sam asks Nikolas to take her to see Jason. When he wonít, she sneaks out and goes to the penthouse by herself. Jason kills Escobar after making sure that Sonny has an alibi. Lucky wants to go back to work, but Mac and Elizabeth say no. He and Maxie wind up drinking at Kellyís, then kissing at Jesseís grave. Dillon throws Diego out of his birthday party, so Lulu goes after him to keep him away from Georgie. Diego figures out that Lulu wants Dillon for herself and suggests that they break up him and Georgie. Robin and Patrick have sex in some poor strangerís house.

The writersí interpretation of bipolar disorder is truly twisted. Could they at least pretend to read a book about it?

Wrong brother, Maxie. Youíre in love with Nikolas, remember?

How can someone so dumb (AKA Sam) be the daughter of someone so smart (AKA Alexis)?

Oh, Lulu. Thatís called making a deal with the devil.

I feel bad for the person who owns that house in the woods and comes home to find two strangers in his or her bed. Unless itís Maryís cabin, which would be funny.

May 30th, 2006

Jason refuses to discuss his and Samís relationship. Carly and Jax interrupt Robin and Patrick post-coitus. Max stops Sonny from attacking Nikolas. Nikolas wants Elizabeth and Lucky to have the cottage. Sonny tells Jason that he should get back together with Sam.

Oh, what a coincidence! Jax owns the cabin Robin and Patrick had sex in! Thatís not at all contrived!

Iím sure that kiss between Lucky and Maxie will never be brought up again and no one will ever find out about it, especially not Elizabeth. Iím absolutely convinced of that.

Poor Max. He really doesnít get paid enough to put up with this crap.

Alexis and Jason, you made Sam cry! Again. Some more. Yeah, it doesnít take much, does it?

May 31st, 2006

Sam declines Alexisí offer to move in, since sheís sure sheíll be going home with Jason. Lucky drugs himself up so he can past tests that will allow him to go back to work. Kelly catches Maxie stealing pills for Lucky. Diego and Lulu steal a car together. Dillon and Georgie decide to get a divorce.

I loved that Alcazar told Ric that the lake house doesnít have any panic rooms. Ha! I think Alcazar is like me in that when Ric gets on his nerves, he just dismisses him with, ďWhatever, kidnapper.Ē

Yeah, tell me again why Jason is offering Coleman protection?

On the one hand, I kind of admire Samís tenacity and confidence that she and Jason will get back together. On the other hand...yeah, youíre in denial, and shut up.

Robin and Patrick have fallen prey to the Elizabeth/Lucky curse - once youíre happy, youíre boring.

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