General Hospital blog - May, 2006
May 1st, 2006
Sam undergoes surgery while Jason blames himself for the shooting. Jason warns Emily that he’ll be coming after Sonny. Sonny is relieved to discover that he wasn’t responsible for Sam’s shooting, but Emily realizes that she can’t be with the man who tried to kill her brother. Jason warns Sonny to say goodbye to his family. Patrick comforts Robin. Manny rearranges his hit list, setting his sights on Carly next. Luke, Robert, and Holly all catch up and Robert can’t decide who to capture for a reward. Carly decides that she can’t let Sonny around her kids anymore.
So, Jason was really creepy today. “Go home and say goodbye to your family.” Yeah, Sonny, I would take that advice.
I wonder where Manny learned computer skills. He’s quite good.
Hey, Robin? I like you and all, but when did this become about you?
Same to you, Carly. Except for the liking you part.
May 2nd, 2006
Sam dreams of telling Alexis that she’s her daughter. She and Jason worry that she’ll need a hysterectomy, because this is General Hospital. Patrick attempts to use toy cars to seduce Robin. Luke, Robert, and Holly wind up locked up together. Carly takes the kids. Emily forgives Sonny.
I think no matter what Sonny says, Jason should respond with, “I’m sorry, can I get back to you after I’ve washed my fiancée’s blood off of my hands?”
Emily! You idiot. You were so close.
Can we please have a Jason/Monica scene? I promise I’ll never ask for anything again. Okay, we all know that’s not true, but still, please?
I don’t get Robin and Patrick’s relationship, or whatever you want to call it. It’s too bizarre for me.
May 3rd, 2006
Carly and Durant are trapped in Jax’s house as Manny and another guy shoot at them. Sam comes close to telling Alexis that she’s her daughter. Patrick loses a patient whose son reminds him of himself. Luke, Holly, and Robert attempt to rough it. Emily, Elizabeth, Robin, and Kelly decide to soothe themselves with tequila shots after a rough day.
I think Lainey is supposed to join the tequila chicks. I wonder why they put Kelly in there instead of Epiphany, since Kelly never does anything.
Aww, Manny, can’t you torture them a little longer?
I can’t wait until Anna joins the bickering trio. That’ll be so much fun.
If I were Sam, I’d say to Alexis, “You have no right to say anything about my relationship. Who are you, my mother?”
May 4th, 2006
Robin, Emily, Elizabeth, Kelly, and Lainey do tequila shots and fantasize about Patrick. Robin winds up propositioning Patrick, who resists, and Emily tells Sonny they can only have sex from now on, then passes out before anything happens. Stan alerts Jason to Ric’s plans to get Sonny a deal with a guy named Herrera so they can take advantage of Jason’s distractions over Sam. Alexis arrives at Sonny’s house in time to find Jason holding Ric at gunpoint. Durant bleeds to death. Noah tells Patrick that he’s a better surgeon because he faced his patient’s son while Noah chickened out of telling Patrick that his mother had died.
More tequila chicks! Those were some of the funniest scenes ever. I went back and watched all the scenes again. These were the best parts (and it’s hard to choose):
‘Bye, Durant! I...totally don’t care.
Yay, thanks for the Jason/Monica scene! And the Sam/Monica scene was kind of nice, too.
Doesn’t it seem like they cut a scene between Max and Milo taking Emily upstairs and Jason holding Ric at gunpoint? They could have at least mentioned that Ric or Jason had arrived. Kind of strange.
May 5th, 2006
After being told that Sam is dying, Jason tells Alexis that she’s her daughter. Dr. Meadows requests another paternity test on John. Alexis inherits the job of DA. Carly changes her mind about keeping Michael and Morgan away from Sonny. Sonny regrets trying to take advantage of Sam’s condition to go after Jason. Luke, Robert, and Holly...oh, whatever.
Aaaaaand we’re officially in May sweeps. Thanks, Jason! (Also, yay for the Jason/Monica scene!)
I think now that Alexis has a demanding job, Ric should become a stay-at-home dad. That would rock.
It’s pretty bad that in the middle of one of those stupid mishmash Robert/Holly/Luke scenes that seem like a bunch of bad plot ideas all thrown together, I loudly announced, “This is stupid.”
Please tell me Dr. Meadows is sticking around. She’s awesome.
May 6th, 2006
Jane is coming! Jane is coming! Rock on!
May 8th, 2006
All is forgiven between Alexis and Sam. Alexis demands that Kelly do more to save her, but nothing she does helps. Ric suspects that Jason has gone after Alexis, but Sonny tells him that she is Sam’s mother. Jax invites Carly, Michael, and Morgan to come to Australia with him and John to visit Jane. Robin, Patrick, Lulu, and Dillon track down Luke, Robert, and Holly in the Maarkams. Dr. Meadows has John’s test results sent to Robin. Lucky can’t decide what to think about Elizabeth and Patrick’s possible affair.
Dang, when Jason cries, you know things are bad. Also, never tell Alexis that one of her relatives is dying. That’s just asking for trouble.
Why are John’s paternity test results being sent to Robin? Not that that won’t make things interesting (because...shadows of Michael, anyone?), but it’s just a little random.
Like I said before, yay! Jane!
Someone take away Lucky’s hydrocodone before it’s too late. That’s the same thing Brenda and Alan got hooked on. Next thing we know, Lucky will be calling up Tammy (which might not actually be bad, since we never found out what happened to her) and detoxing in a cave with Sonny.
Robin + Patrick + Lulu + Dillon = best idea ever. Also, it looks like Robin may have inherited some super spy skills.
May 9th, 2006
Emily organizes a blood drive for Sam. Robin and Lulu try to convince their fathers that they’re too old for capers. Maxie stumbles upon John’s paternity results. Lucky asks Detective Rodriguez to follow Elizabeth. Nikolas blasts Jason for not telling Alexis about Sam sooner.
More Robin and Lulu, please! Also, hee, Patrick is totally in love with Holly and he’s only known her five minutes. Are we looking at a love pentagon?
So Emily’s master plan was nagging people? Makes sense.
I still think the mayor and a bunch of other people are going to be ticked when they find out that Alexis had a child as a teenager. Oh, and Nikolas? Shhh. We know you have mommy (and daddy and uncle and grandma) issues, but no one wants to hear it.
Lucky. Shut up. Please. I beg of you.
May 10th, 2006
After Sam develops intracranial edema, Elizabeth tells Jason that Patrick could perform a life-saving operation, but Kelly tells Alexis that it’s too risky. Lulu organizes a make-out party to distract bounty hunters from finding Robert, Luke, and Holly. The mayor encourages Alexis to put Jason away and endear herself to the public. Maxie attempts to contact Jax about John’s paternity. Diego steals Edward’s car to get money from Coleman so he can take Georgie to the prom. Lucas invites Guy to the prom.
Hee! Epiphany is Stan’s mom! I don’t know why that’s so awesome, but it is.
Also awesome - Diego stole Edward’s car.
Kelly Monaco gets the fun job this week.
Oh, Lucky. Don’t drink. Or talk.
May 11th, 2006
Jason signs off on surgery for Sam, but Alexis gets a court order to stop it. The bounty hunters capture the Maarkam visitors. The Escobars try to woo Alcazar with baby gifts, which he doesn’t wait. When he has Diego return them, Escobar offers Diego a job. Skye warns Georgie not to get too involved with Diego. Sonny buys a bunch of crap.
Happy Birthday, Sam! You get...a big hole in your head. Or maybe not.
What kind of jet was Patrick on that got him back to the States while the others in the Maarkams were still eating breakfast?
Sonny is annoying. That is all.
Good job, Diego. Hope he gets killed.
May 12th, 2006
Patrick and Jason conspire to get Sam into surgery despite the court order. The Maarkam crew defeat the bounty hunters then get a visit from Anna. Carly and Jane square off, and after Carly wins their first battle, Jane passes out. Emily wonders why Sonny is acting so strangely.
Awww, we have Anna and Jane, just in time for Mother’s Day! (Alexis’ won’t be quite as pleasant, it appears.) Also, I don’t know how old Finola Hughes is, but she’s hot.
Am I supposed to be finding Sonny cute? Because...no.
See you in the unemployment line, Patrick!
I’m probably not supposed to think “if you don’t do the surgery, I’ll shoot you” was funny, but it was. Great delivery on that.
May 15th, 2006
Sam’s surgery is successful but Jason, Patrick, Elizabeth, and Epiphany are arrested anyway. Robin tries to get Anna and Robert to communicate. Holly turns her charm on Dillon. After Carly convinces her that she and Jax are good for each other, Jane suggests that they get married. Sonny wants to go to Vegas with Ric and Emily. Max combines his two favorite fantasies - Sonny’s new car and Carly.
Come on! Why couldn’t Sonny and Emily get arrested, too? Having the two of them stuck with Jason, Patrick, Elizabeth, and Epiphany would’ve been great.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Sonny is all, “Who cares about Sam? Let’s go to Vegas!”
Awww, the surgery worked. Looks good on ya, Noah!
Robert and Anna are Jack and Irina Bristow, if Anna were 10 million times more evil.
May 16th, 2006
After getting the charges against everyone dropped, Alexis has Sam moved without telling Jason. Robin wonders why Robert and Anna never worked things out, since they obviously still love each other. Jax proposes to Carly, who says she won’t marry him yet. Maxie takes steps to blackmail Jax. Max thinks that Sonny’s happiness is a bad sign.
More traumatized Dillon! That kid just can’t win.
If Robert loves Anna so much, then why doesn’t he just, you know, ignore Holly?
I kind of don’t care what Elizabeth and Patrick are up to. They’re probably taking ballroom dancing lessons or something.
Maxie’s thought process is spot on for her character. “Hmmm, I seem to have stumbled upon a rich person’s confidential information. Ooh, blackmail. Ooh, money. Ooh, a car!”
May 17th, 2006
Anna snags Holly’s jewels. Holly and Luke are about to escape together when Tracy shows up. Jason can’t get Sam’s location from Alexis, but Monica gets it for him just as Ric suggests that Alexis stop being unfair. Jax decides to come clean to Nikolas before his blackmailer can get any further. Carly almost catches Maxie and Diego demanding more from Jax. Emily gets upset when Jason won’t accept her attempts to reconcile. Patrick won’t feed Lucky’s habit.
I’m sorry...Ric cares about Sam? Since when?
Hee, Keyser Soze. Nice try, Anna.
Sorry, Lucky. I’m so over you and your issues.
Maxie is so desperate that she’ll work with Diego? I don’t buy it.
May 18th, 2006
Alexis agrees to bring Sam back to GH but wants Jason to stay away from her. As Anna, Robin, Lulu, and Dillon are leaving, Luke grabs Anna’s knock-out drops and uses them on Robert and Tracy so they’ll wind up in bed together. Emily grows more suspicious of Sonny’s erratic behavior. Maxie prepares to tell Nikolas that he’s John’s father. Carly suspects that Dr. Meadows might be blackmailing Jax.
Shut up, Sonny. Shut up a million times.
Oh, Alexis. That will never work.
I don’t understand anything that’s going on with Luke and Robert and all of them. But I’m sure it’ll end up being interesting. At least I hope so.
Maxie...so smart and so dumb, all at the same time.
May 19th, 2006
Everyone thinks Sam would be better off without Jason. Sam regains consciousness and makes it clear she’s not letting him go anywhere. Emily and Lainey suspect that Sonny is bipolar. Holly escapes with the (fake) jewels but is intercepted by Anna. The bounty hunters return and get the real jewels from Tracy, Luke, and Robert. Maxie gives the news about John’s paternity to Robin instead of Nikolas. Jax doesn’t want Nikolas to see John anymore.
Helena! Next week! Be there! I’m sure it’ll be awesome.
When Robin inevitably spills about John’s paternity, since she can never seem to keep her mouth shut, I’m sure Carly will note the parallel between this and her spilling about Michael’s paternity.
“You are my whole world.” Take that, Alexis! Also, Sam is a big girl and she’s not stupid. I think she knows the risks of being with Jason. So leave her alone, everyone.
Oh, Emily. You never learned to lie well. You should just tell Sonny you’re doing research for a paper.
May 22nd, 2006
Jason tells Sam that they can’t be together anymore. Sonny denies that anything’s wrong with him and Emily grows nervous about him being along with Michael and Morgan. Nikolas warns Lulu that Helena is on the loose again. Dillon catches Georgie and Diego kissing at the prom. Robin vows not to let Carly get away with anything. Elizabeth tells Lucky why she’s really been going to the Cosmopolitan with Patrick - they’ve been treating a patient there. Maxie looks to Lucky for comfort.
Look what you’ve done, Alexis. LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE. Your punishment is to listen to Sam cry for the next month.
Ew. Nikolas, Lulu doesn’t want you to take her to the prom. That’s so wrong.
Dear Dillon: break up with Georgie already. Then she and Diego can do...whatever, and you’ll be free to be with Lulu, who is so much cooler than Georgie. And probably won’t cheat on you.
Whoa. All of a sudden Robin has bad hair and cool clothes and a lot of confidence. What happened?
May 23rd, 2006
Elizabeth and Jason confide in each other about their troubled relationships. Helena hides out in Port Charles. After fighting with Diego, Dillon tries to use Lulu to make Georgie jealous. Robin and Patrick come close to having sex but are interrupted.
Hi, Helena! Please cause some trouble. I beg of you. Also, I can’t wait until you find out that Sam is Alexis’ daughter.
Speaking of Alexis...dang, is Sam going to be ticked when she finds out Alexis pressured Jason to break up with her.
Considering how moral Robin is, I think the only thing that will stop her from telling Nikolas that he’s John’s father is the possibility of what Helena will do when she finds out.
Hi, Lucas and Guy? You know nothing about the situation, so shut up. Also, Georgie kissing Diego is much worse than Dillon dancing with Lulu. So shut up again.
May 24th, 2006
Robert moves into Quartermaine mansion on the condition that he get rid of Luke. Alexis tells Kristina that Sam is her sister. Jason takes over the Escobars’ business. Robin isn’t happy to hear what Helena would do to John if she knew he was a Cassadine. Alcazar doesn’t want Diego in the mob because he’s afraid he’ll turn out like Jason.
Yep, I figured it would be Helena who would make Robin ultimately keep quiet.
“Can I be cynical now, Uncle Mac?” Heh.
Interesting that until Rodriguez mentioned him, I’d completely forgotten about Durant. It was nice.
Awww, I want Kristina to be MY little sister!
May 25th, 2006
Dillon and Georgie decide to get an annulment but stay together, which pleases Lulu. Sam asks Emily and Carly to appeal to Jason on her behalf, but Alexis asks Carly to side with her instead. Someone takes a shot at Jason and Emily through the penthouse window. Jason pays a bunch of Elizabeth and Lucky’s expenses. Just before having sex with Patrick, Robin realizes that Anna was right about him being like Robert. They get past it but are interrupted again when Robert arrives to talk to Patrick about his intentions. Diego wants to work for Jason. Nikolas is confused when Jax invites him to John’s christening.
Georgie and Dillon are just too weird for me.
Wow, Alexis, if you’re desperate enough to ask Carly to side with you on something, maybe you should realize that you’ve gone too far.
How did someone shoot all the way up through a penthouse window? That’s a little unrealistic.
Ewwww. How can Robin have sex (almost) with Patrick just after talking about Robert? Ewwwwwwwwww.
May 26th, 2006
Sonny goes after Escobar for almost killing Emily, and Jason saves him, then blasts him for being reckless. Alexis tells Sam that she and Ric have bought a house (which they haven’t, yet) and she’s welcome to move in with them. Nikolas gives Sam a Cassadine history lesson. Helena seems to know that Jax isn’t John’s father. Robin thinks Robert wants to prove that he and Patrick are a like, but he really wants Robin to find love. Maxie forges a prescription for Lucky.
Apparently Finola Hughes was only supposed to be back for a week, but she’ll be back next month and will stick around the rest of the summer. Yay! I haven’t heard anything about Tristan Rogers’ tour of duty, but he’s still here, so that must mean something.
I liked Nikolas’ little Cassadine history lesson for Sam. I keep forgetting they’re first cousins.
Aaaaaand Maxie is officially a criminal. I figured it was inevitable, but I didn’t think it would happen this soon.
Jax, Helena isn’t someone you want holding something over your head. Maybe you should tell Nikolas now and beat her to it.
May 29th, 2006
Sonny seems violently jealous of Nikolas and Emily. Sam asks Nikolas to take her to see Jason. When he won’t, she sneaks out and goes to the penthouse by herself. Jason kills Escobar after making sure that Sonny has an alibi. Lucky wants to go back to work, but Mac and Elizabeth say no. He and Maxie wind up drinking at Kelly’s, then kissing at Jesse’s grave. Dillon throws Diego out of his birthday party, so Lulu goes after him to keep him away from Georgie. Diego figures out that Lulu wants Dillon for herself and suggests that they break up him and Georgie. Robin and Patrick have sex in some poor stranger’s house.
The writers’ interpretation of bipolar disorder is truly twisted. Could they at least pretend to read a book about it?
Wrong brother, Maxie. You’re in love with Nikolas, remember?
How can someone so dumb (AKA Sam) be the daughter of someone so smart (AKA Alexis)?
Oh, Lulu. That’s called making a deal with the devil.
I feel bad for the person who owns that house in the woods and comes home to find two strangers in his or her bed. Unless it’s Mary’s cabin, which would be funny.
May 30th, 2006
Jason refuses to discuss his and Sam’s relationship. Carly and Jax interrupt Robin and Patrick post-coitus. Max stops Sonny from attacking Nikolas. Nikolas wants Elizabeth and Lucky to have the cottage. Sonny tells Jason that he should get back together with Sam.
Oh, what a coincidence! Jax owns the cabin Robin and Patrick had sex in! That’s not at all contrived!
I’m sure that kiss between Lucky and Maxie will never be brought up again and no one will ever find out about it, especially not Elizabeth. I’m absolutely convinced of that.
Poor Max. He really doesn’t get paid enough to put up with this crap.
Alexis and Jason, you made Sam cry! Again. Some more. Yeah, it doesn’t take much, does it?
May 31st, 2006
Sam declines Alexis’ offer to move in, since she’s sure she’ll be going home with Jason. Lucky drugs himself up so he can past tests that will allow him to go back to work. Kelly catches Maxie stealing pills for Lucky. Diego and Lulu steal a car together. Dillon and Georgie decide to get a divorce.
I loved that Alcazar told Ric that the lake house doesn’t have any panic rooms. Ha! I think Alcazar is like me in that when Ric gets on his nerves, he just dismisses him with, “Whatever, kidnapper.”
Yeah, tell me again why Jason is offering Coleman protection?
On the one hand, I kind of admire Sam’s tenacity and confidence that she and Jason will get back together. On the other hand...yeah, you’re in denial, and shut up.
Robin and Patrick have fallen prey to the Elizabeth/Lucky curse - once you’re happy, you’re boring.
- Lainey sipping her shot instead of “shooting” it
- Robin sucking a lime like a squirrel chewing a nut
- “Lick it, slam it, suck it,” and Lainey failing miserably to get the words right
- Robin telling Coleman, “I like your shirt”
- Robin’s “spying” eyes and inability to pronounce “espionage”
- Kelly ruining the moment by basically announcing that Sam is going to die
- Emily advocating Carly and Jason’s sex-only relationship
- Robin announcing that Carly likes being a tramp
- Copious uses of the word “bang”
- The five Patrick fantasies (of course)
- Everyone chair-dancing at the bar
- Patrick ripping his own shirt in Emily’s fantasy after everyone else ripped it for him
- “What’s this couch doing here?” “I don’t know, it’s your fantasy”