General Hospital blog - May, 2008

May 1st, 2008

Claudia lies on the witness stand (and alludes to an affair with Jason), freeing Zacchara. Later, she and Johnny agree to pretend to be at each otherís throats so their father thinks he can trust them. Sonny tries to send Max to Puerto Rico to keep him and Diane apart, but Max stands up to him. Diane chimes in, telling him to dump Kate and keep Jason and Claudia apart. Ian, whoís already split town, tries to get more money out of Kate, blackmailing her with the fact that she went behind Sonnyís back. Kate tries to keep him at bay, but he steals the money from her Crimson operating budget. Judging from the dancing, tears, and flashbacks, Emily is gone for good. Spinelli saves Maxie and Luluís jobs. Zacchara pays Luke a visit and lets him know that heíll be involved in their joint business venture. He also shows a creepy interest in Lulu.

I canít wait until Jason finally gets so fed up with Claudia mooning over him that he just tells her to back off because itíll never happen.

Dear baby Jesus, please tell me we wonít be seeing Emily anymore after this. I would be so, so happy.

How did Alexis find out about Zacchara cutting Claudiaís brakes anyway? The only two people who knew about it were Claudia and Jason, and since Iím guessing Claudia didnít tell her and Jason wouldnít talk to Alexis voluntarily, I have to wonder who let her know. Also, what kind of crap lawyers are Alexis and Diane that they wouldnít put anyone else on the stand? (Unless there were medical experts we just didnít get to see. Once again, Lainey loses out.)

Just when I was enjoying our Carly-free week, sheís in the previews for tomorrow. Sigh.

May 2nd, 2008

Carly and Sonny are told definitively that Michaelís condition is permanent, and Carly finally accepts it. Jason and Spinelli discover that the million dollars missing from the Crimson budget was transferred to Ian, and they head off to track him down in Canada. Maxie wants to tag along, for some reason, so she stows away in what Spinelli has nicknamed the Mobmobile. Zacchara regains his position as head of his family and quickly tells Claudia sheís no longer needed. Anna returns again, freaks out more about being a grandmother, and distracts herself by playing strip roulette with Luke. Patrick tells Robin that Michaelís situation has made him less detached from being a father.

Hee, Mobmobile. Love ya, Spinelli.

Yay, no more Carly-in-denial crap! Thanks, writers!

Funny how whenever Annaís around, the older crew get to do stuff, and yet they ship Monica off to rehab and kill off Alan....

Geez, Zacchara is sexist. (Not that we should be surprised.) Heís about one step away from telling Claudia to be careful not to break a nail.

Adios, hopefully: Emily Quartermaine
Back in town (again): Anna Devane
Left town: Ian Devlin

May 3rd, 2008

Next week: Alexis catches on to Ian and Jerry (yay!), Nikolas gets ready for surgery, and Patrick wants to marry Robin.

May 4th, 2008

Jason and Spinelli discover Maxie in the car, and Jason ditches her at a bus stop. Too bad Ian is there, for some reason, and grabs Maxie just as sheís trying to text Spinelli that heís there. Carly, Sonny, and Jax begin to accept that this is it for Michael and make plans for his future care. Anna continues to try to deal with becoming a grandmother, then asks Patrick when he and Robin are going to get married. Ric encourages Trevor to give Zacchara the waterfront property as a show of good faith. Zacchara tells Johnny to decide who to trust, Ric or Trevor. Johnny chooses Trevor, and Zacchara thinks that Ric will get revenge by trying to turn Claudia against him. Claudia overhears Kateís plans to visit Michael at the hospital (though sheís really planning to meet Ian, who claims to be on his way back to New York) and blasts her for not being able to stay away from Sonny.

Wow, Claudia, chill the heck out. Kate so should have hit her. Donít let her make you cry, Kate!

Awww, Jason would have let Maxie back in the car, if only to avoid fighting with her and losing time.

Donít worry about Ric, Johnny. The worst heíll do is lock you in a panic room.

Can we ditch the redhead already?

May 6th, 2008

Jason and Spinelli return to the bus stop, where Ian takes Maxie hostage. He confesses to shooting Michael but refuses to tell Jason who hired him, even though he could use his dying breath to screw Claudia over. Having heard the news of Ianís death from Alexis, Claudia wants to celebrate, but Jerry warns that they donít know what Ian told Jason. Sonny and Jax disagree on Carlyís plan to take care of Michael at home, Sonny even going so far as to threaten to take her to court over the situation. Carly responds by telling him and Jax where to go. Robin asks Anna to tell Patrick that she really doesnít think he and Robin should get married, but Anna has to go to work before she can. Claudia asks Sonny and Luke to kill Zacchara, even though, as Sonny points out, sheís the reason heís a free man. Alexis and Diane bicker over their respective love lives (and Diane and Max apparently consider baseball talk foreplay).

Poor Jason. They made Ian homocidal again just to justify Jason killing him, he shoots Ian to save Maxie, and he STILL gets arrested.

Jax and Sonny finally agreed on something! So much for Jax wanting to get Sonny to give up custody of Michael.

Dude, they actually were talking about baseball!

Um, Iím not sure Annaís coming back. Sorry, Robin.

May 7th, 2008

Carly brings Michael home, effectively scarring Morgan for life. Alexis tries to get Jason to tell her if Ian incriminated anyone before her died, but Jason wonít talk. After heís released from lockup (and Mac goes all medieval on Spinelli, threatening to hurt him if he puts Maxie in danger again), he visits Claudia and tells her heís sure she knows who hired Ian. Nikolas successfully undergoes surgery, with Patrick remarking that if heíd waited another week, he would be dead. Apparently Emily visited him and left him her engagement ring, but itís so stupid I donít want to even think about it. Alexis confronts Jerry about his connection to Ian. Elizabeth throws a party to celebrate Jakeís first birthday, allowing Robin and Patrick to spend time with children and Lulu to not be at the hospital when her own freaking brother is undergoing surgery.

If Sonny taking Carly to court for custody of Michael is the summerís big plot, Iím going to be even more irritated over the waste that was killing off Ian.

Yeah, Jason, you might be a little more upset about being left in lockup all night if you knew what Diane was doing while you were there....

Are we seriously going there, with the ring thing? I mean...seriously? Because I donít think I can handle that.

Lulu is the worst sister ever. IÔŅĹm guessing Lucky wasnít in town because Greg Vaughan was sick, but Lulu skipped out on her brotherís surgery - that would be the brother who is actually the reason she didnít die as a toddler - to go to the first birthday party for her fake nephew? Brat.

May 8th, 2008

Sonny threatens to take Carly to court to get custody of Michael, but Kate talks him out of it. And then it ends up being a moot point anyway, since Jason convinces Carly to take Michael to the facility Jax picked out. Alexis accepts a date with Jerry, then tells Mac that sheís investigating his connection to Ian. Jason tells Claudia heíll be glad to kill Zacchara if she gets him proof that he was connected to Michaelís shooting. Ric offers to be Claudiaís conduit to Zacchara, and probably have sex with her in the process. Nikolas asks Luke for advice on moving on.

Yay, Jason! This is why Carly should never make any decisions without consulting him first.

Of all the people in Nikolasí family or his circle of friends - Lulu, Lucky, Sam, Alexis, Elizabeth - the one person to visit him in the hospital is LUKE? Is this Bizarro World?

Ha, I knew Alexis was too smart to let Jerry sway her. Rock on, girlfriend.

Seriously, Ric wants to go to bed with Claudia SO BAD. And not just because Sonny already did. Okay, partly because Sonny already did.

May 9th, 2008

Blah, blah, Michael, facility, Carly, Jax, Sonny, Jason, blah. Jason confronts Kate about the million she gave Ian - and Sonny overhears. Zacchara tells Lulu heíll make sure Luke goes to prison on RICO violations if she doesnít get close to Johnny again. Jerry blackmails Claudia to get her to do whatever he wants. Max and Diane keep trying to sneak around.

Yes, yes, Laura Wright deserves an Emmy. Are we done with this storyline yet?

Ew, Claudia. Itís okay to go up a size. Also, once again, if you dress like a hooker, you canít get upset when people mistake you for one.

Why canít Max and Diane, I donít know, go somewhere else?

Iím surprised Jason doesnít just suspect that Ian stole the money from Kate. Thatís probably what I would think.

Dead: Ian Devlin
Gone for good (for real, this time): Emily Quartermaine
Left town: Anna Devane

Next week: Lulu and Johnny team up against Zacchara, Spinelli needs rescuing, and people still wonít shut up about Michael. Sigh.

May 12th, 2008

Kate confesses to Sonny that she paid Ian to leave town, and though she argues that she wanted to protect Sonny, he calls her a traitor. Jerry kisses Claudia on the docks, and theyíre spotted by Alexis, who quits as his lawyer, then complains to Luke about how all men are scum. Lulu and Johnny agree to pretend to be back together, though they may actually be back together, but Iím not really sure because I ran most of their scenes up. Luke and Sam hold a private poker game, which gets busted, and Luke gets in even more trouble with Tracy. Nikolas gets a good prognosis but still has trouble letting go of Emily. More Michael/Carly/Jason blah.

Poor Kate. She should get ready to hear all about a certain ex-girlfriend of Sonnyís who also betrayed him. I think her name was Glenda or Splenda or something like that.

MORE LUKE/ALEXIS SCENES. I DEMAND THEM. Especially when he calls her Natasha.

Lulu, grow a spine and walk away, please.

Seriously, is the redhead gone yet?

May 13th, 2008

Mike tries to encourage Sonny and Kate to quit fighting and support each other. Luke begs for Tracy to take him back, even promising to give up his partnership with the Zaccharas. Despite Epiphanyís assurances that she gave Nikolas an anti-seizure medication, he doesnít seem to have received it, causing Sam to tell Lucky that the same thing happened with Elizabeth. Robin starts a video blog, and Iím not sure why thatís supposed to be interesting. Patrick and Coleman give Spinelli advice on how to be a man.

So will the drugs that donít work be our big summer plot? I thought it was going to be something about Ian and Jerry having a big prescription-drug racket, but that canít happen (unless itís just Jerry, or Jerry and Claudia). I guess Ianís legacy lives on.

Hi, Mike! I wish you were more useful.

Patrick and Coleman are two of the last people Spinelli should be going to for advice. Iíd suggest Jax, who gets all the women, or Lucky, who has somehow managed to emerge drama-free from all his past...well, drama.

Pretty much the only interesting thing I can imagine coming out of Robin video blogging is that sheíll wind up having sex with Patrick on-camera and everyone will see on the Internet. And even thatís not really interesting.

May 14th, 2008

Jax still wants to get Sonny to give up custody of Michael and Morgan, even though Alexis warns him that it will make things horrible (uh, even more so) between Sonny and Carly. Spinelli tries to put Patrick and Colemanís advice into practice but winds up almost picking up a hooker. Claudia wants Ric to keep her connected to Zacchara, but he just wants to turn her against Johnny and possibly take her to bed. Zacchara tells Ric to keep feeding Claudia information and turn her dutiful. Nikolas, Elizabeth, Lucky, and Sam discuss the current medication weirdness, and Nikolas comes clean about his hallucinations and dealings with Ian. Lulu and Johnny are still whatever.

Jax, youíre an idiot. Go stand in the corner and look pretty.

I think Zaccharaís order for Ric to make Claudia dutiful is the way cults start.

Maybe Elizabeth, Lucky, Sam, and Nikolas will team up and work together! As long as they donít call themselves the New Four Musketeers, because that will just make me throw up.

Can someone please give Logan a plot? He never gets to do anything.

May 15th, 2008

Jerry wants Alcazarís cannery property, but instead of going to Trevor, he goes to Claudia, Johnny, and Ric for it. Heís denied, but Claudia wants his help to get Jason to kill Zacchara, after which Johnny will run the business and sheíll give Jerry the property. He doesnít like the idea and stabs her instead. Sonny, Carly, and Jason are STILL sad about Michael, whoís finally being moved. Zacchara wants Ric to protect Claudia, keep her out of the way, and, if need be, take her to bed. Lulu and Maxie wonder if Kate is going to return to Manhattan for good, an idea Spinelli hates. Nikolas goes home from the hospital, despite Nadineís protests.

Why did they run the best scene of the episode (Jerry stabbing Claudia) in yesterdayís previews? It turned out to be so anti-climactic. Though I donít care if Claudia lives or dies, so whatever.

Did they seriously have a five-minute scene of just Carly and Sonny walking to the elevator? Ug. Thatís like the definition of filler.

I donít care what Nikolas does as long as he keeps his shirt off. Iím easy to please, obviously.

Oh, hi, Leyla. Why are you still here?

May 16th, 2008

With Alexis approaching, Jerry shoves Claudia into the water just before a big rainstorm. Somehow she makes it out to Spoon Island, where Nikolas mistakes her for Emily. Carly freaks out upon leaving Michael at the facility, so Sonny calms her down by kissing her. Kate and Jax go to an industry party together. Lulu and Johnny start to go at it in their little hideout, and for some reason Trevor spies on them. Elizabeth locks herself out of her car and is rescued by Jason, whoís just about ready to fall apart over Michael.

How the heck did Claudia make it all the way to Spoon Island without drowning? And in the big rainstorm they keep mentioning?

You know, Sonny/Carly and Jax/Kate make a LOT more sense than the current pairings. Sonny and Carly really deserve each other, and Jax and Kate deserve a lot better.

Ew, Trevor. I mean, ewwwwwwww.

Wow, a Gia reference! No oneís mentioned her in years. (I liked it better that way.)

Apparently Monday is makeout day! Bring Chapstick.

Broke up: Kate Howard and Sonny Corinthos
Gone for good(?): Michael Corinthos
Injured: Claudia Zacchara
Reunited: Lulu Spencer and Johnny Zacchara

Next week: Lukeís luck runs out, Nikolas finds Claudia useful, Jax disappears (itís vacation time), and I was wrong, because Anna does come back.

May 19th, 2008

Nikolas tends to a delirious Claudia, who mistakes him for Johnny and admits to being in on the shooting with Ian. Carly and Sonny totally commit adultery, and then she tries to get him to sign away parental rights to Morgan in order to protect him. Jax and Kate commiserate, then kiss. Trevor tries to drive a wedge between Lulu and Johnny, then tells someone to manufacture evidence that will get Luke arrested. Jason opens up to Elizabeth.

See? SEE? Carly and Sonny totally deserve each other, and Jax and Kate deserve to not have to put up with them ever again. Also, I totally hope Carly gets pregnant, because between the miscarriage and Michaelís shooting, I doubt Carly and Jax have done anything the past couple of months, and Jax would know for sure what a lying hussy his wife is.

Welcome to your first mob storyline, Nikolas! Little Nicky is all growed up.

Iím surprised no oneís killed Trevor yet. Can THAT be the big summer plot? We havenít had a murder mystery in a long time, after all.

Iím almost disappointed that Elizabeth and Jason didnít make out, since of all the people making out today, theyíre kind of the only real couple. (I donít count Lulu and Johnny. Sheís too emotionally immature for that.)

May 20th, 2008

Sonny refuses to give up custody of Morgan, though later he admits to Kate that it might be the right thing to do. She tries to convince him itís not. Carly goes home, has sex with Jax, and goes to Jasonís (of course) to tell him everything. Kate confesses that she wanted Jax to kiss her. Luke and Trevor play a card game with the stakes being that if Luke wins, he gets Alcazarís pier property, and if Trevor wins, Lulu has to leave the country. Luke loses, then loses again when heís arrested for RICO violations. Trevor is arrested as well but released, and Alexis agrees to let Luke go on his own recognizance. Nikolas talks a lot about the mob and how Claudia is a bad, bad person.

Carly having sex with two men on the same night during sweeps pretty much guarantees sheís going to get pregnant. Weíll see in about six weeks.

Why did Trevor play the docks-or-Lulu game? Strange.

Also strange - why Alexis bothers to basically enable Luke. Though maybe if she loses her job over this, sheíll just start a firm with Diane.

Oh, Nikolas, why do you even care? Just get her arrested and move on.

May 21st, 2008

Carly confides in Jason (not the sex parts, though), who later gets a visit from Robin and tells her that she was right years ago when she advised him not to put Michael in danger. Carly comes home to learn that Jax has left town. Claudia is an idiot and confesses everything to Nikolas, who learns that the $10 million he gave to Ian went towards a drug shipment. He also believes that because of that, heís responsible for Michaelís shooting. Luke surprises absolutely no one by skipping town with the Zaccharasí money (though he does surprise Tracy by inviting her to come along). Lulu realizes that now that Zacchara canít threaten Luke anymore, she and Johnny can end their fake relationship. Jerry brings Alexis candy and makes out with her.

What exactly is keeping Nikolas from turning Claudia in, or at least going to Jason or Sonny? I donít think she really convinced him not to.

Adios, Luke, Tracy, and Jax! I will probably not miss any of you, to be honest. Donít take it personally.

I love that Jason and Robin are able to have civil conversations and help each other out even though theyíre exes. I think Iíve said before that that sort of thing seems so realistic to me. Sometimes people whoíve broken up donít hate each other forever.

Iím going to have to try to figure out how to work ďthe truffles can stayĒ into a conversation.

May 22nd, 2008

Sonny decides to leave the business to protect Morgan. Diane warns Kate that Sonny and Carly will always go back to each other. Patrick gets revenge on Robinís Internet complaints about him and makes his own vlog. Nikolas enlists Nadine to tend to Claudia, who wants to know more about him, and also thinks he and Nadine will end up together. Carly asks Spinelli to help her track down Jax.

I give Sonny two months out of the mob before he goes back. Even he even leaves in the first place, that is.

Yeah, Nikolas, Iím sure after Courtney died you said youíd never fall in love again, so just be quiet.

Coleman sucks as a cameraman.

Wow, Lulu and Johnny are boring.

May 23rd, 2008

Carly and Jason both think Sonny is crazy for wanting to leave the business, and Jason refuses to sign the paperwork necessary to take over. Carly takes a bunch of money from the hotel and prepares to leave town with Morgan. Anna stops in for a visit and attempts to be more grandmotherly, but it doesnít work out well. She breaks up a bar fight, realizes sheís not getting too old after all, and runs off to hang out with Eli. Lucky pays Johnny a visit, trying to persuade him to stay away from Lulu, but Luluís there and tells him to back off. Lucky tries to make Johnny believe that Lulu is going to turn out as crazy as Laura, for some reason. He then asks Nikolas to put pressure on Johnny as well. Nikolas and Claudia discover that their crazy families mean they have a lot in common. Robin learns of Patrickís vlog and the two promise not to watch each otherís or compare numbers of hits.

Sonnyís an idiot, and thank goodness Jason yelled at him. He should do that more often. By the way, what kind of paperwork does Jason have to sign to take over the mob? Do they file mob-related taxes or something?

If Carly does leave town with Morgan, can we not see her for a few weeks? I need a Carly vacation.

Does Lucky think Lulu is still a virgin or something? Because...does he remember when she had an abortion? He doesnít seem to. Also, whatís with all the Luluís-going-to-turn-out-like-Laura stuff? Laura didnít lose it because Luke ďdraggedĒ her all over the country (which didnít happen - she wanted to go), and Luke wasnít technically a mobster, so Luckyís analogy is pretty flimsy.

Awww, I wish Anna would stay longer. Though I loved that in the one hour she was on, they kind of told an entire story. And for some reason I really loved the high-five she and Patrick had. I donít know why.

No new episode on Monday; instead theyíre showing an episode from the hostage saga. Try to poke holes in the Craig-is-really-Jerry twist.

Adulterers: Sonny Corinthos and Carly Jacks
Back in town (briefly): Anna Devane
Left town: Anna Devane, Jax Jacks, Tracy Quartermaine, Luke Spencer

May 25th, 2008

This week: Jax is back already, Sam gives Spinelli some (no doubt hilarious) advice, and I hope Sonny comes clean with Kate because theyíre getting back together.

May 27th, 2008

Carly tries to get Spinelli to help her and Morgan disappear, but he calls Jason to come convince her not to run away. Jason has refused to take over the business from Sonny, but it looks like he might change his mind if Sonny will agree to give up paternity of Michael and Morgan. Logan tries to warn Lulu not to hang around the Zaccharas, but of course, she doesnít listen. Zacchara tells Johnny that if Johnny turns on him, Zacchara will use Lulu to get revenge. Sonny roughs up Spinelli, so Maxie takes him home with her to take care of him. Sonny and Kate appear to be back together. Robin, Patrick, baby stuff, bleh.

Oh, Jason. Why do you put up with Sonny and Carly at all?

Does Maxie think Mac is never going to find out Spinelli spent the night? know, heís a cop. He investigates for a living.

Iím with Logan on this one - what is so great about Johnny?

Oh, no. Robin and Patrick are back to being boring. Quick, throw some drama at them!

May 28th, 2008

Sonny refuses to sign away paternity of Michael and Morgan in exchange for Jason taking over the business until Jason warns that Carly is about two seconds from taking Morgan out of town. He gives all the mob-related stuff to Jason and takes control of the coffee-related stuff, then lets Carly know that heís given up parental rights. Mac catches Spinelli in Maxieís bed just moments after Spinelli gets the impression that they had a bunch of sex. While Mac asks Robin to talk to Maxie, Sam learns the truth, tells Spinelli that nothing happened, and offers to help himÖwoo her, or something. Zacchara wants Ric to align with Claudia and turn her against Johnny, so Johnny will believe that he can only trust Zacchara. As Trevor, Zacchara, Ric, and Johnny discuss what to do about Sonnyís organization, Jason arrives to tell them that itís now his organization. Jax returns and Carly accuses him of going to Rome to see Brenda.

Iím not sure exactly how Sonny benefits from any of the deals he made today. I mean...he gets nothing. So why did he even bother?

Hey, a Brenda mention! Las Vegas got cancelled, didnít it? Hmm....

Oh, Maxie. You could do a lot worse than Spinelli.

I like Sam a lot better when she doesnít have a plot and only shows up every couple of weeks.

May 29th, 2008

Ric wants to make a move against Jason immediately (though not by using Elizabeth, as Johnny and Zacchara suggest). Johnny and Trevor think they should hold off, but Zacchara takes Ricís side, blowing up a shipment to see how Jason reacts so they can judge how heíll be as an opponent. Jason tells Carly they canít be friends anymore, since her safety is at risk as much as Morganís, but sheís Carly, so of course she changes his mind. Kate and Jax fight about Sonny and Carly, then make up just before Carly catches them together and tells Jax to choose between the two of them. Sam encourages Spinelli to work out and get buff to attract Maxie. Maxie, however, is more interested in getting Johnny away from Lulu. Thereís more medication wackiness at the hospital, and Lucky might actually start doing something about it.

Ug, SHUT UP, CARLY. You canít SLEEP WITH YOUR EX and then accuse Jax of liking Kate more than you. You are a shrew and I hate you with a passion. Iím so glad youíre a fictional character and donít exist in real life.

Dear Kate and Jax, you are too mature for this show. You might want to think about leaving.

I donít like Zacchara at all, obviously, but I do find it a little intriguing that heís basically just using Trevor, Johnny, Claudia, and Ric as his little pawns - just setting them up and letting them go about their business.

Awww, Spinelli, I would go out with you if you were a few years older or if I were a few years younger. And if you were real, of course.

May 30th, 2008

Jason sets the Zaccharasí house on fire in retaliation for them blowing up his shipment. Carly is really annoying and hypocritical and fights with Jax. Alexis demands that Sonny give up custody of Kristina, too, but he refuses. Maxie gets Lulu out of the office, then calls Johnny over. Spinelli arrives just in time to see her try to seduce him. Why is Claudia still at Wyndemere?

Carly makes me SO MAD I can barely even talk about it. She CHEATS on her HUSBAND, then accuses him of liking another woman, all the while having the nerve to demand that Jax not see Kate while she refuses to cut off ties to Jason? Thereís a word for women like her that I donít like to use, but it applies so perfectly...

Is Logan in the burning house? I hope heís okay. Well, in general, since then Jason will have killed him. If you want to get specific, I donít really care.

Claudia and Nikolas? Really? Ug. Iíd much rather see him with Nadine. Also, that blows my theory that Claudiaís mother is really Helena. (My other long-held theory is that Bobbie and Mike are having a secret relationship, but so far that one hasnít panned out either. Iím beginning to think it never will, sadly.)

Poor Spinelli. He deserves someone much less manipulative. I wish Georgie were still around.

Arsonist: Jason Morgan
Back in town: Jax Jacks
Promoted: Jason Morgan
Reunited: Sonny Corinthos and Kate Howard

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