General Hospital blog - May, 2009

May 1st, 2009

Jason assures Jax that he'll do what's best for Carly, even if it means not going after Jerry yet. Sonny shows up and of course wants Jason to find Jerry immediately so he can interrogate him about the shooting. Jax heads to Sonny's house and tells Claudia that if she can keep Sonny distracted from interfering in Carly's pregnancy, he'll keep Jerry away from her. He also alludes to the fact that he knows about her involvement in the shooting. Lucky and Rebecca realize that Nikolas and Elizabeth aren't making out for their benefit, then head to Rebecca's place for a makeout session of their own. Before things can go too far, Lucky stops and announces that he can't stop thinking about Elizabeth. Nikolas chooses that moment to show up to finally talk to Rebecca about how he feels. Maxie convinces her coworker to pose as a stalker, allowing him to outsource the job to someone else if need be. Coincidentally, a rapist tries to rob her just as she tells Spinelli that her "stalker" is nearby. Ric shows up at the hospital just as Claudia is asking Kelly about taking a paternity test. She decides that he's too much of a liability and asks Johnny to kill him for her. Sam investigates a possibly cheating wife and somehow winds up dangling out of a window almost naked. Jason manages to walk by at just the right moment, so she drops into his arms and uses him as her getaway vehicle. Matt thinks Patrick is crazy for agreeing to work on Michael's case.

Geez, with all the coincidences today, you'd think this was an episode of Lost.

Once again, Claudia tries to outsource a murder. Has she ever killed someone? She's not very threatening for a supposed villain.

Speaking of outsourcing, I'd say that Maxie's idea was bad, but it's Maxie, so the bad part is implied.

Wow, I completely forgot that Cameron was conceived at Jake's. Or did I never know that at all? I think Michael was conceived there, too. Ahh, memories.

It's a bad day when Sam and Jason have the most interesting scene. Especially when the scene lasts 15 seconds and makes no sense.

May 2nd, 2009

Next week: Michael's surgery! Luke and Ethan's test results! Rebecca and Nikolas totally annoy me! And other stuff.

May 4th, 2009

Claudia tells Sonny exactly what Jax wants, then admits that she thinks he needs to back off of Carly. Olivia arrives, summoned by Sonny, and he tries to find out from her where Carly is, but she won't spill. After she leaves, Sonny realizes that she left her phone behind and heads out to return it to her, ignoring Claudia's protests. While he's gone, Claudia has some sort of pregnancy-related pain. Jason and Sam spend the evening talking about her new job and his discoveries about Claudia, which she doesn't think he can tell Sonny while she's pregnant. Johnny saves Maxie just before Spinelli arrives and realizes he's lost out again. He then learns that she set him up and confronts her. Maxie pleads with him to come back to her, but he's done looking like a fool. Rebecca admits to using Lucky to get back at Nikolas, and he admits that he may still have feelings for Elizabeth. He heads over to her house to tell her that seeing other people hasn't worked out very well for him. She admits the same and they're both happy to hear the news. Meanwhile, Rebecca goes to Wyndemere and makes out with Nikolas again.

You know why Sonny and Olivia could never get together? Because he'd be happy, and that's not allowed.

So Rebecca, Elizabeth, Nikolas, and Lucky are each going to make out with two people on the same night? They're all messed up.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but...more Jason and Sam! Oh, no. What's happened to me? What kind of monster have I become?

I can't believe Claudia didn't call Johnny and whine to him today. Pretty soon she's going to go into withdrawal.

May 5th, 2009

Ric winds up being the only person who can help Claudia, and she puts off accepting his aid long until the last possible minute. She also doesn't want Sonny to know that anything's wrong in case, as Ric guesses, she loses the baby and wants to pretend she didn't. It's a moot point because the baby's okay, but Ric is still lurking. Ethan tells Luke and Tracy that he'll stay in town if Luke isn't his father but leave if he is. Luke wants him to stay because Ethan isn't one of the children who's currently mad at him. Rebecca stops Nikolas before they can move beyond making out, telling him she wants to make sure he wants to be with her, not someone who looks like Emily. She can't leave the island because of a thunderstorm, so she decides there's no problem with changing into some of Emily's clothes and making Nikolas feel depressed. Lucky and Elizabeth are one of the few pairs to actually talk about their relationship maturely, and they decide to get back together but take things slowly. Olivia is completely on to Claudia.

Claudia's dehydrated? HAAAAAAA. Apparently Kelly is unaware of my drinking game, which requires you to drink whenever Claudia drinks water. You wind up as drunk as Nikolas was today.

Another big ha to Ric saying that Claudia's finally thinking ahead for once. It disturbs me that Ric and I think the same.

Excellent continuity: Luke still has the partially nude painting of a young Helena hanging on the wall of the yacht. (It was behind Ethan today.) So awesome.

Dear Rebecca, you are an IDIOT. Whose robe did you think that was, Alfred's?

Mark my words, this is where Lucky and Elizabeth turn unbearably boring again.

May 6th, 2009

Patrick realizes that if Michael doesn't have his surgery in the next few hours, he'll never wake up. Carly's still out of town and Sonny has the day off is unreachable, so Jason and Jax are left to decide what to do. Dr. Henson isn't aware of Patrick's decision to operate sooner and heads off to Germany to tend to a family emergency. Patrick pushes Jax to okay the surgery, but she tells him that it's not his call to make. Carly returns unexpectedly and Jason reluctantly fills her in. Luke tells Lucky that Ethan might be his son and Lucky unsurprisingly goes ballistic. He tells Luke, Tracy, and Ethan that if it's true, Lulu shouldn't be told. The latter three go to the hospital to get the test results, which we haven't heard yet. Rebecca and Nikolas paint (not a euphemism) and she gives him a massage (also not a euphemism). Couture steals a layout from Crimson, so Maxie goes to Spinelli for help in finding out who leaked it and how they can get it back. He thinks she's making up another crisis and has to be convinced by Lulu that she's telling the truth. Even then it takes him a while to agree to help. Elizabeth thinks it would be great if Michael woke up on Jake's birthday, even though Michael and Jake don't even know they're cousins and have probably never met, so who cares? Shut up, Elizabeth.

Dear Patrick and Jax, you are not Michael's legal guardian. Carly is. You can't do anything without her say-so. So shut up for now.

After all this build-up, I hope Ethan is Robert's son. Especially since it means they might actually bring Robert back.

Yes, Elizabeth, Jason forgot his son's birthday. Although you apparently forgot about your son's birthday party, so maybe in your world, people need reminders more often than not.

Speaking of reminders, I loved the mention of Nikolas painting that church while he had amnesia. Rebecca really doesn't know what she's in for with all of his messed-up background.

May 7th, 2009

Carly decides that Patrick should perform the surgery immediately, even if Dr. Henson isn't there. He enlists Matt to help and the procedure begins. The DNA test comes back negative, which makes Luke angry, but he thinks Tracy's up to something and asks Lulu to flirt with Ethan in her presence. Things between Maxie and Spinelli start to thaw. Nikolas and Rebecca paint and make out and are boring.

Yay, we don't have to wait through the whole month for Michael to wake up!

If you think Jason won't be able to glare at Claudia through the whole operation, you're wrong.

So did Tracy falsify the test results? Talk amongst yourselves.

Go somewhere else, Rebecca and Nikolas. I don't want to have to watch this.

May 8th, 2009

Carly, Sonny, Jason, and Jax all try to get rid of Claudia while they wait for Michael's surgery to end. Maxie and Spinelli plant a tracking device and go on a stakeout to find out who leaked the Crimson layout, but they're too busy making out to see anything suspicious. Luke won't tell Lulu why he wants her to pretend to be into Ethan, but she does it anyway, freaking Tracy out. Alexis gets her hands on Rebecca's employment records and tells Nikolas she spent time in Greece. Later, Alexis offers Rebecca double what Helena's paying her if she'll leave town. Nikolas overhears and announces that he doesn't care if Rebecca has a connection to Helena.

Bad casting news: Ric is leaving next month, and Kristina and Morgan have both been recast and SORAS'd. Boooooooo.

Way to take the suspense out of the Michael storyline by showing an ad telling us he'll wake up next Friday, ABC.

I guess Tracy would only react to a Lulu/Ethan kiss like that if they're siblings, huh? Once again I say ewwwwww.

Here's hoping Helena's like Beetlejuice and appears if you say her name enough times. Helena, Helena, Helena!

May 9th, 2009

Next week: Spinelli learns something about Kate (she's probably the mole), we all know what happens to Michael, and...oh, crap. Holly.

May 11th, 2009

After Michael's heart stops, Jax and Sonny think Carly should tell Patrick to stop the surgery. Jason thinks she should let him continue because otherwise Michael would be in a coma for the rest of his life. Later he tells Sam that he wanted to make the decision for Carly so that if anything goes wrong, it'll be on him, not her. Maxie and Spinelli are really bad at tailing the tracking device, which leads them back to Crimson. Lulu and Ethan delight in making Tracy mad by flirting. Luke tries to find out why Tracy's so upset by the thought of them together, but she won't spill. Nikolas counters Alexis' offer by offering Rebecca money to stay in town. Later he tells Alexis that even if Rebecca has some connection to Helena, he's used to dealing with Helena and will be able to handle it.

Wow, way to read a room, Claudia. Shut up.

I was kind of hoping Maxie and Spinelli would get pulled over for speeding, just because I'd love to see her try to explain what's going on to Mac.

Apparently I have to say it again: Jason and Sam, just get back together already.

Okay, Tracy, if Lulu and Ethan are really related, you should actually say something before things go way too far.

May 12th, 2009

With Carly's okay, Patrick successfully finishes Michael's surgery. Ethan catches on that Luke thinks Tracy falsified the paternity test results but doesn't want him to keep pursuing it. Luke decides to call Holly to find out what's really going on. Ric catches Claudia praying in the hospital chapel and taunts her some more. Sam advises Jason to wait until they know how Michael is before he does anything to or about Claudia. For some reason, Kate is "stealing" her own layouts. Tracy asks Johnny to get back together with Lulu, but he's not game.

I don't get why everyone thinks Claudia will be off the hook if Michael wakes up. Uh, she still arranged the hit that injured him! It doesn't make it so it never happened.

I'm so sad Ric is leaving. He's so much more interesting than half of the other characters.

What was up with Luke and Ethan's alliteration? I guess the writers were bored.

Hey, it's new Morgan! He's early. And he can act. I'll take him.

May 13th, 2009

Everyone gets distressed over the fact that Michael still hasn't woken up. Kate fires Maxie and Lulu, but their jobs are saved when Spinelli shows them security-camera footage of Clarice with the stolen layout. Minutes after Kate fires Clarice and heads to New York, more footage shows that Kate herself is the culprit. Ethan tries to get in touch with Holly, and Luke thinks it's because he's started to believe that she's his mother. Holly calls Luke and he hears that she's in trouble, so he and Ethan set off for Singapore to help her. Tracy secretly makes her own travel plans to the same destination. Diane ditches Alexis to have sex with Max, then calls her for help when her shirt is ripped. Alexis brings her clothes but heads to the wrong room, instead finding Rebecca and Nikolas about to take their own clothes off. Edward blathers to Rebecca about Michael for no apparent reason.

Too boring. Not going to bother.

May 14th, 2009

Carly is still convinced that Michael will wake up, even after Patrick announces that it's not likely. Sonny asks Claudia straight out if she had anything to do with Michael's shooting, promising that there won't be any repercussions. Claudia continues to deny the accusation, so Sonny tells her he believes her. He's really still setting her up, as he tells Jason. Ric gets a court order for a paternity test, and Jason walks in on him and Claudia fighting about who the baby's father is. Luke and Ethan head to Singapore, where apparently Holly looks on from the shadows while the two of them and Tracy battle random bad guys and fight with each other and bore me to death. Robin is finally getting better. Lucky complains about Ethan.

Okay, Carly, when Michael wakes up, we'll let you say, "I told you so."

I love that they're spending so much time and energy on this Ric-might-be-the-father-of-Claudia's-baby thing when he's leaving next month.

What were the writers smoking when they came up with this Luke/Ethan/Tracy stuff?

You just know that in two weeks, Robin will be fine and they'll never talk about this again. Actually, you can probably say the same thing about Michael.

May 15th, 2009

Carly remains the only person sure that Michael will wake up. Jax confides in Olivia about how much he wants her to take it easy, then manages to convince Carly to go home. Lulu hears about Michael's surgery from Johnny and goes to the hospital to see Carly. She's already gone, but Lulu takes a few minutes to sit with Michael, who happens to choose that time to wake up. Jason has figured everything out and confronts Claudia with the truth, but she continues to try to throw suspicion on Ric. Olivia may be regretting her decision not to tell Sonny about Dante. Luke, Ethan, and Tracy head home from Singapore, playing 21 and asking questions that don't really get answered. Once back home, Holly makes an appearance and tells Luke they need to celebrate their "blessed event." Nikolas overhears Rebecca trying to comfort Edward over Michael's situation and admires how nice she's being. Alexis finds them together at Wyndemere and Rebecca asks how she can convince her that she's not working with Helena. Alexis wants to know why she was in Greece.

Of all the people I thought would be around when Michael woke up, I never would have picked Lulu. Have they ever even had a scene together?

Claudia, you idiot. Don't try to guilt Jason into keeping quiet, order a hit on him! Once again, you're a horrible mobster.

God help me, but I think Sonny and Olivia would be cute together.

Why is it that Alexis is only allowed to be involved in this stupid Rebecca stuff?

Awake: Michael Corinthos
Back in town: Holly Sutton

May 16th, 2009

Next week: Michael's a little ticked, Jason and Sam continue to tease me, and you will NEVER believe who sleeps together. (No, seriously. Even if you randomly picked one male and one female character, you would probably still not pick these two.)

May 18th, 2009

Lulu tries to call Carly, who isn't in the mood to talk and ignores her call. Jax turns off his own phone so the two of them can have some time alone and Carly can continue to mope over Michael. Sonny and Jason immediately rush to the hospital to see Michael, who wants to know why everyone's being so tightlipped about what happened to him. Patrick advises Sonny to keep the details of the shooting quiet for now so they won't upset Michael. Jason tells Carly that Michael's awake and she's so happy to see him that she doesn't even say, "I told you so." Claudia worries that Michael will remember what she said to him while he was in a coma, so she decides to go ask him if he does, but Johnny stops her. Ethan tells Lulu that Luke suspects they might be related, admitting that he'd rather be Luke's friend than his son. Holly promises to tell Luke if she's Ethan's mother for a price. He won't play along and Holly's annoyed by Tracy, so she leaves, winding up at Patrick's, looking for a place to stay. Rebecca agrees to hold off sleeping with Nikolas for two weeks in order to give Alexis time to fully research her.

Awww, everyone who's usually so angsty gets to be happy now that Michael's awake! It's...kind of freaky. I mean, Jason smiled. That's just weird.

I still don't get why no one thinks Robert might be Ethan's father, but whatever.

Also, anyone who wasn't watching the last time Holly was on the show will be really confused as to how she knows Patrick.

I don't understand Rebecca at all. First of all, no way are she and Nikolas going to be able to go two weeks without hitting the sheets together, at the rate they're going. Second, it's none of Alexis' business if they sleep together. Third, how does Alexis know they won't sleep together and lie to her about it? Whatever, this is dumb.

May 19th, 2009

Sonny's the only person who thinks Michael should know what happened to him. Everyone else disagrees, leaving Michael to get angstier and angstier, as well as whine that he's being replaced when he finds out that Carly's pregnant. Patrick happily lets Holly stay with him (and Matt's not too upset about the arrangements either). Ethan and Luke both finally confront her about their real connection. Lulu gets Tracy to admit that she bribed a lab tech to make the DNA test results come back negative and she doesn't know what the results really were. Edward is determined to make Michael a Quartermaine again. Olivia and Johnny bond over tequila.

Oh, yay, I just love angsty teenagers. Two episodes and I already want to smack Michael. Is that a new record?

Johnny! Olivia is old enough to be your mother! Stop that right now!

Ditto for Matt and Holly. Shudder.

Dear Edward, Sonny signed away his rights to Michael, so you're wasting your time. Also, shut up.

May 20th, 2009

Michael is still really upset with Carly for "abandoning" him, and with everyone in general for not telling him what happened to him. Sonny finally tells him everything and is pleased when Michael doesn't blame him. Olivia and Johnny have sex, then decide to keep having sex but keep it quiet. Too bad Johnny can't take a look around a room before walking into it shirtless, as that's what he's doing while Sonny is there. Holly will only tell Luke if he's Ethan's father (and if Ethan's even her son) if he pays for the information with Tracy's money. Jason talks to Sam about Michael, and she tells him just to be there for him.

Hey, look, Michael found someone he's not mad at!

I've seriously forgotten about ever hating Sam. How weird is that?

Does Johnny have a huge blind spot or something? How could he NOT see Sonny in Olivia's living room?

This Holly plot is ridiculous. Fortunately, it looks like she's only staying a couple more weeks. Let's hope her future scenes are less pointless than the ones she's already had.

May 21st, 2009

Michael is still really mad at Carly but will happily hang out with the Quartermaines, Lulu, and Mike. Edward presents his plan to have Michael move into the mansion but Mike shoots it down. Tracy gives Holly two million dollars to spill Ethan's paternity, but Holly really wants to steal Luke from her (which Ethan has figured out himself). Luke and Elizabeth have a long, loud conversation about Lucky, who goes to Holly himself for the truth about Ethan's paternity. Luke admits that's he's worried Lucky will one day get bored with domestic life like he did. Spinelli puts a bug in Kate's office, which allows him to overhear her learning that Olivia and Johnny slept together. I couldn't care less about Nikolas and Rebecca.

If Michael's going to keep being a brat, can we put him back in the coma?

As stupid as the Olivia/Johnny hookup is, at least it's spawning some entertaining scenes. And maybe next Spinelli can overhear that Sonny is Dante's father and speed up that plot.

I'm sure Patrick loves to have random people traipsing through his house.

So today we learned that Nikolas thinks Rebecca looks nice in blue. Good to know, huh?

May 22nd, 2009

Sonny tells Claudia about Olivia and Johnny, sending her on a rampage and threatening Olivia with an "accident." Maxie and Spinelli overhear, and she leads him to believe that this has cured her of any lingering feelings for Johnny. Claudia confronts Johnny about his choice of bed buddies, mad that he would be disloyal by sleeping with her enemy. Maxie seems jealous of the hookup, and Johnny tells her that if she wants to sleep with him, he won't object. Mike thinks Sonny is also jealous, but Sonny thinks Olivia's jealous of his relationship (or whatever) with Claudia. After being yelled at by Lucky, Holly decides to come clean with Luke and Ethan: she's Ethan's mother, but Luke isn't his father – Robert is. Carly wants Jason to talk her up to Michael, but he wants her to chill out. Edward convinces Michael to move into the mansion, infuriating Carly. She, Edward, and Sonny fight over Michael until he announces that he actually wants to move in with Sonny. Alexis catches Rebecca and Nikolas together again but has to admit that she hasn't dug up any dirt on Rebecca yet.

Do I detect a smidge of chemistry between Sonny and Olivia? Nah, must be my imagination.

Does this mean we get to see Robert? Please? Also, Robin's no longer an only child!

I love how Claudia thinks that any woman who sleeps with a man she's not married to is a tramp. Hi, Claudia? Before Johnny, Olivia slept with zero men in town. You slept with two and tried to seduce a third. Also, if Johnny avoided every woman who a) was your enemy and/or b) had slept with Sonny, he would never be allowed to talk to any woman in town.

So Alexis' reason for being on screen today was...what? Not that I mind, I'm just curious.

May 23rd, 2009

Next week: Robin's back (and just in time to get a little brother), Claudia's on a mission, and Jason's also on a mission, which incidentally involves Claudia.

May 26th, 2009

Sonny, Carly, and Edward fight about where Michael will live until Michael blows up and kicks them out. He confides in Jason that he's afraid he has brain damage, which would be to blame for his outburst. Jason brings in Monica to work out the situation, and she assures Carly and Sonny that the Quartermaines won't be interfering anymore. Michael still isn't happy, though, as Carly and Sonny decide that he should live with Carly. Everyone's mad at Holly for the mess she's made, including Holly herself. Robin finishes treatment and goes home. Maxie tries to convince herself that she cares about Spinelli more than Johnny.

Awesome casting news: Helena returns next Thursday. Whee!

Dear Michael, you are the child and Carly and Sonny are your parents. They actually can make you do what they want you to do. It's called life. Deal with it.

Welcome back to Boringville, Robin. I hope you had a nice vacation.

Holly's going to go away soon, right?

Once again I have to request more Jason/Monica scenes.

May 27th, 2009

Sonny is totally jealous of Olivia's relationship (or whatever) with Johnny, which is still going strong while he mopes around the house with his annoying wife. Michael is still an angsty teenager, and also a little dumb since he doesn't realize that a year in bed equals not being able to walk. He also seems to be remembering Claudia talking to him while he was in his coma. Ric thinks he and Claudia would make a great couple, and he's perfectly fine with blackmailing his way into a relationship. Robin is cured, and we'll probably never hear about her depression again. Elizabeth and Lucky confront Nikolas and Rebecca about all the time they're spending together, but Rebecca finally gets Elizabeth to shut up by pointing out that she, not Nikolas, might be the one with issues. Meanwhile, Alexis asks Rayner to investigate Rebecca.

Isn't it a bad thing that Johnny and Olivia are the most interesting "couple" on the show?

If Lulu weren't Michael's cousin, I'd think they were setting the two of them up for a relationship.

Hey, it's Rayner! I kind of like him. Well, I like Mark Pinter, at least. And he's not Winifred, so that's even better.

I wonder if they gave Rebecca the middle name Amber after Amber Tamblyn.

May 28th, 2009

Claudia does some digging around to find out if Michael might remember her talking to him, then asks him himself if he remembers her. She accidentally informs him that she's his stepmother, which doesn't sit well with him. Jax and Patrick both think Carly should give Michael space. Michael asks Jason for information on who shot him, and Jason reluctantly tells him about Ian but not his accomplices. He and Sam decide to track down Fredo to find out what he knows about Claudia's involvement in Michael's shooting. Tracy has Holly arrested for stealing her necklace, then promises to drop the charges if Holly agrees to leave town. Holly accepts the deal, then makes a beeline for Robin, who has been filled in on her machinations by Ethan. Robin has also managed to figure out that Robert can't be Ethan's father because he was in Port Charles at the time of Ethan's conception but Holly wasn't. Holly asks Robin to help her deal with what she's put in motion.

I have to give Claudia credit for not telling Michael that she's pregnant. She's just dumb enough to do that, so good for her.

You know what makes the show more interesting? Fast-forwarding every scene between Jax and Carly. I highly recommend it.

So does this mean Luke really is Ethan's father? Oh, wait, I forgot: I DON'T CARE. Also, what exactly did Robin use to figure out that Robert couldn't be Ethan's father, a GH history website?

Hey, the extra who always mulls around in the background of the PCPD and sometimes gets to arrest people had a line! A good line, too – I sometimes wonder how many people get why Luke calls Alexis Natasha.

May 29th, 2009

Jason interrupts Claudia's bonding session with Michael and tells her flat out that he thinks she was responsible for his shooting and will be tracking down Fredo to find out for sure. She's unable to stop him as she, Sonny, and Michael are suddenly one, big happy family, looking forward to the baby being born and being all warm and fuzzy (and making Carly jealous). Jason and Sam find Fredo, who reveals that Claudia did hire him to kill Jerry, and he can prove it. Ethan plans to leave town, but before he can, Holly finally comes clean – she and Luke are his parents. Carly wants to have sex with Jax, who doesn't think it would be good for her health. Carly gets Kelly to write a letter authorizing them to do whatever they want. Robin and Patrick are adorable.

It wound up working out, but Jason really shouldn't have told Claudia he was going to find Fredo. Of course, she's too dumb to realize that she should have found him first and paid him to shut up.

Michael has no taste, does he? Or maybe Claudia just makes a really good first impression.

Holly, when you inevitably leave town, please take your son with you. Also, congratulations, Ethan: you have officially made out with your sister. Say with with me, now: ewwwwwwww.

Just when I thought the writers couldn't make me want to fast-forward Jax and Carly more, they find a way....

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