General Hospital blog - October, 2013

October 1st, 2013

Jerry motivates Robin to work on the cure faster by showing her footage of the Nurses' Ball – which, by the way, he funded. If it wasn't enough incentive for her to see Patrick and Emma, he encourages her to work quickly so she can go home and get Patrick away from Sabrina. Dante and Lulu are furious with Maxie, and they're not too happy with Spinelli either. Patrick decides to take off his ring. Britt doesn't want Nikolas to call Anna since Anna hates her. Anna admits to being suspicious about whether the baby's supposed disappearance has anything to do with Britt and Obrecht's previous schemes. Alexis asks Julian to use his media contacts to get information on...well, himself. He probably would have just pretended to follow up and lied that he couldn't find anything, but Duke overhears and gives Alexis some information on Julian, namely that he went to college in New Hampshire. Anna finds it hard to take her own advice to Patrick about accepting that Robin's really gone.

Ha, I was just talking to my mom the other day about how we never found out who funded the ball. I don't think I ever considered Jerry, but after all, he did have $88 million to play with.

Is it me, or did Robin seem more surprised by the news that Lucy moved back to town than by the news that Duke's alive?

Wait, so if Maxie wanted Lulu and Dante to have the baby, and they plan to keep her, then...I guess everything worked out okay?

So why DID Obrecht take Ben? I expect she'll take him to Cassadine Island, and that'll lead Anna there.

October 2nd, 2013

While Lulu announces that there's no way she'll give up Connie, Maxie and Spinelli wonder if they could raise her. Franco tells Carly he's painting again, so he'll soon be able to afford his hotel bill. Franco's art dealer agrees with Carly that the paintings all suck...except Heather's. He's no longer damaged enough for the art he used to do. Carly encourages him to do more paintings like Heather's so he can pay the bills and afford to do the art he wants. Franco sucks it up and calls to make an appointment to see Heather. Ava moves into a new apartment but doesn't want a roommate. Morgan guilts her into letting him stay, at least for the time being, because he has nowhere else to go and his family's all on Michael's side and everyone loves Michael more and he has a hangnail. Michael convinces Kiki to move in with him, promising that he won't pressure her to have sex. Then they have sex.

Maxie, watch your back. If you thought Lulu and Dante were mad, wait until you see Olivia.

It looks like the answer is yes, I do have to pay attention to the Heather's-painting plot.

I really think they named the art dealer Sebastian after Sebastian Roche. Let's break it down: Sebastian is played by Jason Connery, son of Sean Connery, AKA James Bond. Sebastian Roche plays Jerry, who likes to use James Bond-related names as aliases. That can't be a coincidence!

$5 says Kiki gets pregnant. Also, welcome to the Slept With Siblings Club, girl.

October 3rd, 2013

Robin watches the part of the Nurses' Ball where Britt announced her pregnancy. Minutes later, Obrecht brings Ben to Cassadine Island and enlists Robin as his babysitter, telling her the baby is important to her plans. Anna's stressed out about Ben's disappearance and missing Robin, but Mac brings her good news: Robert's awake. Lulu still refuses to give up Li'l Connie, and suggests that she and Dante adopt her to keep Maxie and Spinelli from taking her back. Dante isn't sure Maxie will stick with the current plan. In fact, now that Mac and Felicia know they're grandparents, they convince Maxie to take her back. Ellie does the same with Spinelli. Britt has the sads. Emma notices that Patrick took off his ring and doesn't seem to mind. Carlos is basically stalking Sabrina, but no one's concerned.

I want that Robin/Anna reunion scene reenacted!

I really wish Luke or Laura or Holly had told Anna that Jerry and Obrecht are working together. At this point it probably doesn't matter, but it still would have been nice.

It says a lot about Ellie that she's encouraging Spinelli to claim Li'l Connie, knowing their relationship could end.

Mac has no idea that he's having the best month ever. He's a grandpa, his brother's awake, and he's about to get his niece back.

October 4th, 2013

Anna and Mac go to Switzerland and see Robert, who's almost completely fine, other than not being able to remember what happened to him. Eventually he does, and tells Anna that Robin is alive. Obrecht tries to poison Robin against Sabrina, painting Sabrina as a stalker who used Robin and Emma to get to Patrick. Robin is smarter, though, and knocks her out so she can escape. Jerry plans to use Luke as a taste-tester for the cure in case Robin plans to try to kill him. Duke tells Alexis that if she wants to know if Julian is Sam's father, she can compare Sam's DNA to Lucas'. Sabrina tries again to get Carlos to back off. Sam and Patrick do the talking-as-friends thing again, and she supports his decision to take off his ring.

Yay, Robert! You can't keep a Scorpio down.

I think now Obrecht has to turn in her evil genius badge. She's not so much of a genius anymore.

Another yay: They finally mentioned Lucas! I hope this means he'll end up coming back to the show.

I thought Patrick was going to ask Sam to find a way to distract Carlos. That would have been fun.

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Lulu: "You're confused." Brad: "No, I'm not." Nikolas: "I am"; Brad: "I've done all these bad things and they're coming back to bite me in the a--." Olivia: "Church!"; Alexis: "Did I have ANOTHER kid with a mobster?"
Funniest moments (unintentional): Maxie: "I didn't think about this part." Clearly; Emma: "Do you think Mommy's watching us?"
Saddest moment: Anna missing Robin
Sweetest/cutest moment: Li'l Connie with her li'l tongue always sticking out
Least believable moment: Jerry opened the door to Robin's lab without worrying that Luke would see her inside
Best instances of continuity: Morgan's middle name is Stone; CO77X upside-down in one of Franco's paintings
Worst instance of continuity: Can't think of anything
Hero of the week: Robert
Most annoying character: Morgan
Smartest characters: Jerry, Robin
Dumbest character: Obrecht
Previously unanswered question now answered: Jerry funded the Nurses' Ball.
Things we learned this week: 1. Julian went to Dartmouth.
2. He also didn't know Lucas was his son before he "died." (I wonder if that means he knows now?)
3. You can knock someone out with a beaker.

The week in a nutshell:

October 5th, 2013

Next week: Tracy to the rescue! ...Wait, Tracy?

October 7th, 2013

Anna resists believing Robert about Robin, since believing it before is what allowed Faison to get close to her. Robert tells her to go find Obrecht, since that will lead them to Robin, and since Anna needs to find Ben, too, she can't really say no to the idea. She realizes that her best bet is to go see Faison. Obrecht is also making plans to see him, so she can tell him he's a grandpa. Jerry halts Robin's escape attempt, so she threatens to deep-freeze his lab and destroy his potential cure. It's a dumb threat, but it doesn't matter since the freezing mechanisms have been disconnected so the set could be reused Robin could have a lab. So Robin's back to square one, and now Obrecht's mad at her. Tracy infiltrates Cassadine Island and disguises herself as a guard so she can spy on Jerry and Obrecht. She decides that she and Luke will just wait until Jerry delivers the cure and blindside him. Carly tells Sonny that Morgan and Ava are hooking up, which is probably not something you should tell a man who's still not completely stable. It doesn't matter, though, since he's more concerned with figuring out who's coming after his territory. Carly wants to track down Ava, so she goes to Julian, who recently paid his sister a visit and learned who she's sleeping with. He's amused but wants Ava to focus on their hostile takeover.

If Anna goes to see Faison, I will make so many Silence of the Lambs jokes.

Robin, this is why America doesn't negotiate with terrorists. If you destroyed Jerry's cure, he would have just killed you. He can't let you go until AFTER you get the cure. Otherwise, he won't get the cure. There's a cause-and-effect thing here. But I'll cut you some slack, since you had to deal with all of this while a baby was pulling your hair.

Tracy telling Luke that finding him is "a long story" means that the writers didn't come up with one.

Let's put Morgan and Ava's pillow talk at the top of the list of things I don't need.

October 8th, 2013

Dante and Lulu ask Alexis to draw up adoption papers, thinking that Maxie and Spinelli will happily sign over custody of Li'l Connie. Meanwhile, Olivia tears into Maxie for her lies, but says she thinks Dante and Lulu expect that she and Spinelli might want the baby back. She's wrong, and when the two couples meet up, each pair thinks the other wants what they want. Franco asks Heather for more paintings, because he loves the first one so much. She agrees to do more if he'll stay away from Carly. Sonny goes to see Morgan, who's all over-dramatic and "you're dead to me." Sonny tells Ava that they no longer have a connection, then warns Morgan that if something horrible were to hypothetically happen to his new girlfriend, he won't get any protection from his father. Carly tries to find out Ava's location from Julian, who thinks she's interested in her son's sex life because hers is empty (you know, since she broke up with her boyfriend). She asks him to dinner, partly to try to prove him wrong, partly to get closer so she can get information on Ava, and partly to rub it in Franco's face. Alexis thinks she can contact Lucas through Lulu, but Lulu advises that she go through Carly instead.

Lulu, your father would be appalled by your naivety.

Heather's weapon of choice is a carrot peeler? Where did she even get that?

Morgan might deny his father, but there's no denying who his mother is. Where do you think he got all that drama?

You can tell Carly's like, "Lucas? ...Oh, right, I have a brother."

October 9th, 2013

Franco tries to intimidate Julian into backing out of his date with Carly, but he's about as intimidating as a bunny now, so Julian just laughs at him. Franco then invites Diane to dinner and uses her to make Carly jealous, pretending they're dating. Carly retaliates by making out with Julian. It's a good thing Alexis doesn't see them, since she was disappointed enough knowing they were going on a date. Maxie and Spinelli won't sign the adoption papers, and Lulu refuses to give up Connie, so it looks like this is going to court. Spinelli and Maxie lawyer up with Diane while Alexis tells the Falconeris that they're probably going to lose. Sam and Silas celebrate Danny's return home with wine and smooches. Various forces prevent them from getting horizontal. Carly tells Alexis she’ll talk to Bobbie about getting Lucas to submit to a DNA test. Molly and T.J. both question the authenticity of Rafe and Taylor's relationship.

It amuses me how amused Julian always is.

No, Falconeris, sorry, but I'm pretty sure you have no legal rights here. But if we have to sit through a custody trial, at least we'll have Alexis and Diane to entertain us.

Throwing milk at Silas, crying to keep him out of Sam's you think Danny's trying to send a message?

Interesting that Carly didn't say anything when Sonny mentioned Julian's name. Eh, she probably wasn't even listening.

October 10th, 2013

Anna visits Faison, who confirms that Robin's alive and even names his co-conspirators. He keeps declaring his love, telling her that Obrecht meant nothing to him (and conveniently failing to mention that they ever slept together and/or have a child together). He kisses her and is pleased when she kisses back and says she loves him. But wait! She's not Anna – she's Obrecht, wearing an Anna mask! Robert and Mac reminisce about Robin, and Mac shows Robert her funeral. Robert almost tells him that Robin's alive but decides to honor Anna's wishes to wait. Robin manages to give herself a great birthday present: Jerry's cure. Patrick admits to Elizabeth that taking off his ring has actually made him miss Robin more. Olivia and Duke talk about Faison, Robert (who Olivia calls "Robby"), and how Olivia outed the fake Duke. Duke confides that he's worried that Robert's return will threaten his relationship with Anna. Olivia assures him that Anna won't leave him, then has a vision of her (really Obrecht) kissing Faison.

Me, at the end of the episode: "Twist!" They even almost foreshadowed it, with Olivia talking about the masks!

I guess Jerry never expected Faison to rat him out? Because he doesn't seem to have any insurance against that happening.

No one told Patrick and Emma that Robert's awake? Mean.

I would totally watch The Olivia and Duke Show. No, strike that. I would watch The Olivia and Robby Show.

October 11th, 2013

Robin's not sure that Jerry will keep his word, and she also doesn't appreciate that he's going to give Luke a taste of the cure, then leave him to die. She makes a move to try to rescue herself, finding a phone and calling Patrick. Obrecht tells Faison that he's a grandpa and shares her plan to have "Anna" transfer him out of prison to a WSB facility so she can really take him to Ben. Anna spends an hour being kept out of the room where Faison and Obrecht are meeting, as well as being told that she's already in there. Finally, she comes face to face with...herself. Patrick kept the plane tickets he gave Robin for her birthday two years ago, and when Sabrina finds them, she thinks he's going to surprise her with a trip. He tells her what they were really for, but that he's ready to move on, so they should plan their own trip together. Britt gets a video message from Obrecht and makes her realize that Obrecht is taking Ben to Faison. Nikolas is confused, so Britt comes clean that Faison is her father. A worsening Luke tells Tracy he loves her and wants to give her the relationship she wants if he survives. Olivia's vision has Duke worried about Anna, so he calls to make sure she's nowhere near Faison. She tells him she has to talk to him to confirm something, but she won't tell him what, which doesn't make him feel any better.

I know Robin wants to talk to Patrick, but if I were her, the first person I'd call would be Anna. She's ten times more likely to find and rescue Robin than Patrick is. (No offense, Patrick.)

The better idea would be for Nikolas to recognize the painting in Obrecht's video and realize she's on Cassadine Island.

Can't wait for Tracy to try to collect on what Luke promised. "Baby, that was the polonium talking!"

Olivia, if you'd like to be helpful, I have a few suggestions of people you can have visions of.

Birthday: Robin Scorpio

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Alexis being flustered; Franco and Carly's jealousy ploys, and Diane's reaction to them; Emma, coloring: "I'm in the zone"; Olivia calling Robert "Robby"
Funniest moment (unintentional): "It's been a while since I made new friends." Yeah, Carly, like 15 years
Saddest moment: I was going to say everyone mourning Robin, but knowing that they'll be reunited with her soon takes the sadness away
Sweetest/cutest moment: Emma running off to show T.J. her card
Least believable moments: "Here, fill out these papers and I'll file them tomorrow and your child will be officially adopted in three days." Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!; the not-so-super super-max
Best instances of continuity: The Quartermaines' yacht is the S.S. Lila; Robin's last name was originally Soltini
Worst instance of continuity: Actually, Olivia, Robert and Anna did get back together while Duke was gone
Hero of the week: Tracy (assuming her plan works)
Most annoying character: Obrecht
Smartest character: Robin? I guess?
Dumbest character: Whoever left that phone with Robin
Things we learned this week: 1. Jerry knows Robin's birthday.
2. Maximum-security prisons in Switzerland are very different from those in the U.S.

The week in a nutshell:

October 12th, 2013

Next week: Don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure Luke lives.

October 14th, 2013

Against all likelihood (in terms of what usually happens on soaps), Patrick hears Robin and believes she's alive. However, he can only hear her say it's her and something about a "son," meaning Ben. The call cuts off, and of course, her battery is low. Plus, when Patrick tries to get Robin's number traced, he's told that the phone isn't in order. Robin tries a trick Maxie taught her about using static electricity to give the battery some extra juice, but before she can call Patrick back, Jerry catches her. Patrick runs off to get the phone to the PCPD, but Sabrina intercepts him and convinces him that he imagined the caller was Robin. Anna and Obrecht face off, with Anna initially winning the battle (though a guard has to take a bullet first). Faison tells Anna that Robin's alive, insisting that he accompany her to where she's being kept. Before they can leave, Obrecht overtakes Anna and knocks her out, then jets off with Faison. Tracy actually pulls off her plan, getting Luke the full dose of the cure even though Jerry insists that it could kill him. Luke and Tracy take off, accidentally condemning Robin to remain in captivity, since she technically didn't get Jerry his cure. Britt didn't want to tell Nikolas that Faison was her father because he'd know that both of her parents are crazy. Nikolas is all, "Yeah, like you've cornered the market on insane families." They rewatch Obrecht's video message, and he finally recognizes the painting in it as one from Cassadine Island. Felix gets Sabrina excited about her future with Patrick.

Patrick: "Robin? Is it really you?" Me: "I'm not crying. NOT CRYING."

Finola Hughes is killing it with Kathleen Gati's facial expressions.

Writing the sentence "Anna tears off someone's face" seems more natural than it should.

"I was aiming for his leg." Well, Tracy, you suck, but it's okay.

What did I say about the painting? WHAT DID I SAY? Also, how cool would it be if Nikolas and Britt found Robin, considering how unexpected it would be?

October 15th, 2013

Sonny apologizes to Michael for keeping Morgan's secret, but Michael is mature, and also, he won, so he's forgiving. Sonny mentions to him that Ava is untrustworthy, and possibly a member of the notorious Jeromes. Kiki goes to Silas looking for a job but instead ends up asking about his relationship with Ava. He mentions that she opened her first gallery with help from her brother, which is the first Kiki's heard about having an uncle. She wants to learn more without actually talking to her mother, so Sam the P.I. offers to investigate for her. Later, when Kiki mentions her uncle in front of Sonny, Sonny starts to put the pieces together. Franco and Julian agree to box to decide which of them gets Carly. Shawn spies on them instead of collecting information on Julian, so he's certainly earning his minimal screen time. Then Carly randomly shows up, of course, and though at first she seems upset with Franco for beating up on Julian, she's concerned about Franco when Julian knocks him out. Alexis gets Lucas' DNA sample (yes, already) and tries to submit it for testing without Sam's knowledge. Diane wants Ava and her "silent partner" to promote Franco's art in the gallery Ava managed to purchase between rounds of sex. Morgan takes advantage of her visit to ask her to represent him in his divorce. Carly teases Alexis about Julian, basically admitting that she's only with him because of Franco. Silas has an actual date planned for Sam.

Seriously, how dumb is Ava? WHY DIDN'T YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME?

Where did we leave off with Sam's offer to Kiki? They got distracted and didn't go back to it. Please, please, can she go through with the investigation? How awesome would that be?

If Franco's going to compare himself to Angel, he's going to have to start wearing dusters instead of those stupid blue shirts.

Sorry, Robin, you couldn't get rescued today because we had to watch Morgan make out with his stepmother and two shirtless guys punch each other in the face. It was super-important.

October 16th, 2013

Sonny figures out that Julian might be alive, and from there starts wondering if Derek is Julian. Carly's worried about Franco possibly being injured until he makes a move on her. She tries again to come up with excuses for them not to be together, the main one being that he's supposedly with Diane. He swears he's not, but an ill-timed visit from Diane doesn't back up his story. Carly ends up back with Julian, because God forbid she not have a man on her arm for five minutes. Morgan keeps painting himself as the victim in his marital problems with Kiki, because it's her fault that she couldn't handle him lying to her. Diane will take his case, but she basically tells him that, like everyone else in the world, she feels worse for Michael. Julian's worried that someone will see his name on Ava's paperwork and out him as her silent partner. She convinces him to sign anyway, since their partnership shouldn't make anyone suspicious that they're related. He still thinks he can get more information on Sonny out of Carly than she can out of Morgan. He should be more worried about Morgan getting information out of Ava, since he sees the paperwork. Alexis explains the whole Jerome thing to Sam, who agrees that they need to learn her paternity. Kiki finds out that Morgan's living with Ava and tells Michael that they need to rescue him.

You go ahead and smirk, Sonny. You earned it. You did good work today.

If Carly did hook up with Julian, that would be three members of her family with three members of his family. So weird.

Shut up, Morgan. Just...I can't with you anymore.

Was Diane only on today for recapping purposes? (Not a complaint, just wondering.)

October 17th, 2013

Anna still isn't convinced that Robin's alive, since Faison isn't the most trustworthy person, but Patrick keeps thinking it's more and more logical that Robin's the person who called him. Nikolas lets Anna know that he and Britt are going to Greece, since they think Obrecht took Ben there, and though she forbids them from going to the island, they ignore her. Also ignoring her: Robert, who demands that Anna let him tag along on her possible rescue mission on Cassadine Island. Faison meets his grandson and unwisely tells Robin that her parents know that she's alive. She taunts that he and Obrecht have made a huge mistake since Anna and Robert are obviously going to come looking for her. Sonny questions Duke on Julian's history, sharing his suspicions that Julian's alive. Duke thinks that's ridiculous since Robert ID'd his body. His denial only makes Sonny more sure of his theory, and even makes him take the next step to thinking that Derek is Julian. Robert almost tells Mac about Robin, but Mac ends up going back to Port Charles clueless.

If I can't have a Luke/Laura or a Luke/Tracy adventure, I'll take Robert/Anna as the next best thing.

Please, Nikolas doesn't fly commercial.

Stop leaving the lab door open, morons.

Why does Sonny think Robert lied about Julian being dead? Maybe he was just wrong.

They have to bring Lucas back now, right? Because they've mentioned him multiple times, and that's the rule. There wasn't even a point in Duke mentioning him today.

October 18th, 2013

Apparently Jerry was grocery shopping or taking a really long nap or something when everything went down with Faison, Obrecht, Robin, and Ben, because he's surprised to find out that Ben's gone and Faison was there. He thinks he's out of time and plans to kill Robin, then visit Jane and Jax before he dies. Robin comes up with a plan B: They both go to Port Charles, draw Luke's blood, and use it to cure Jerry. Nikolas and Britt make it to the island and learn that both Obrecht and Jerry are in residence. Nikolas has the unwanted guests kicked out, then heads to the lab, looking for Jerry, but instead finds Robin. Faison and Obrecht are gross and I don't want to talk about it. Patrick talks grief with Elizabeth, who apparently convinces him once and for all to move on, because then he proposes to Sabrina. Tracy's conscience (surprise – she has one!) makes her want to go back to the island and rescue Jerry's doctor. Luke thinks the doctor's a co-conspirator and should therefore have to fend for herself. Really, he's just eager to get back to his life now that he's going to live, though Tracy suspects that the cure wasn't really a cure. Sabrina thinks Carlos was behind Patrick's phone call, so she goes to yell at him about interfering in her love life and all the other things she usually yells at him about. She thinks she's a fool for believing that Patrick will ever love her the way he loved Robin.

Remember when I said this: "Also, how cool would it be if Nikolas and Britt found Robin, considering how unexpected it would be?" It's pretty cool. By the way, have we ever seen him with a gun before? I kind of buy him as an action hero.

Who is Robin recording notes for?

For some reason, Nikolas telling Britt, "I watched him shoot an innocent woman" made me laugh, knowing that he was talking about Robin.

Nice grandpa sweater, Luke.

Let's start a "Carrrrlos" drinking game.

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Felix describing Patrick and Robin's plane tickets as something out of a Nicholas Sparks novel; Anna rolling her eyes at Robert saying to Mac, "Maxie's your daughter! Go be with your daughter! I'm going to say 'daughter' some more!"
Funniest moments (unintentional): "Jerry, you can still do the right thing." Robin, have you met Jerry?; Nikolas asking which Jacks was on the island, like, sure, Jax would just chill there for no reason
Saddest moment: Patrick insisting that he talked to Robin because he knows her voice
Sweetest/cutest moment: I can't believe I'm saying this, but it was Faison and Ben making faces at each other
Least believable moments: Nikolas would never fly commercial, especially since a private plane would get him and Britt to Greece faster; Lucas learned he might have a sister, gave a DNA sample, and sent it to Alexis all in less than 24 hours
Best instances of continuity: Luke telling Jerry he'd give Bobbie his regards; Michael can't get a job because of his felony
Worst instances of continuity: Michael worked at the warehouse before; Tracy took the S.S. Lila to the island, so why is she flying home?
Hero of the week: Tracy
Most annoying character: Morgan, the reigning champion
Smartest character: Sonny
Dumbest character: Ava forever and ever
Things we learned this week: 1. There are two doors to Sonny's office. (I really don't think we've ever seen anyone use that door in the back before.)
2. Franco's a Buffy fan.

The week in a nutshell:

October 19th, 2013

Next week: The rescuers become the rescuees.

October 21st, 2013

Robin and Nikolas spend an hour catching up and clarifying things – Ben isn't Patrick's, Nikolas didn't know Robin was alive, etc. – instead of making a hasty retreat. Meanwhile, Robert and Anna arrive on the island and interrogate Obrecht about their daughter's whereabouts. Obrecht doesn't want to cooperate, but Anna wears her down with the enticing option of paying back Faison for rejecting her. Obrecht tells them to go to the lab, but by the time they get there, Robin and Nikolas have left to find Britt and Ben. Britt tries to end Faison's interest in Ben by telling him that Ben isn't her biological child. It doesn't work. Sabrina questions the timing of Patrick's proposal, but he convinces her that he's 100 percent ready to move on, so she accepts. Alexis warns Lulu that things will have to get ugly if she and Dante want to keep Connie – they'll have to prove that Maxie's an unfit mother. Thanks to her position as Maxie's former best friend, Lulu knows all her secrets and has all the ammo she needs. Diane disapproves of Maxie's actions but acknowledges that she and Spinelli have rights as Connie's biological parents, so she agrees to file a court order to get them their baby.

There's a faction out there that thinks Britt isn't lying about not being Ben's mother. More as events unfold.

Where does Jerry keep disappearing to? Is he doing laundry or something?

Obrecht has now been knocked out three times. She's the Giles of Port Charles. (Franco would get that.)

Solution: I take Connie, because she's so adorable that I want her around all the time.

Sonny paid Maxie's medical bills while she was pregnant – does she have to pay him back now?

"Possibly illegal"? Yeah, Lulu, Maxie stole drugs for your brother. That's definitely illegal.

October 22nd, 2013

Jerry locks Anna and Robert in the lab, then channels Craig to take control over the rest of the island's visitors. His first priority is still his cure, so he assigns Robin to go to Port Charles, get Luke's blood, and synthesize the cure, all without anyone knowing she's there. Faison and Obrecht will be her babysitters, and Nikolas and Britt are accomplices. (Ben is a freebie.) Unaware of what's going on upstairs, Robert and Anna find proof that Robin was in the lab and vow to get themselves out to find her. Patrick and Sabrina tell Emma that they're getting married, and though she's happy, she worries that Robin wouldn't be. Faison basically decides he doesn't care about Ben anymore and anticlimactically lets Britt take him. He mentions to Nikolas that she said she wasn't Ben's biological mother, but Britt assures Nikolas that she is. Lulu and Spinelli are at a standstill over Li'l Connie, and their friendship is effectively over. Mac supports Maxie in the custody battle but warns that it's not going to be pretty.

When I read about the next development in Robin's plot, I didn't know Faison, Obrecht, and Britt would be involved. I think it would be a lot better if it were just Robin and Nikolas in on this. This is too many people. Also, I want Faison and Obrecht to go away.

I'd love to know how Robin's supposed to get Luke's blood without actually seeing him. Maybe that's where Britt will come in?

Oh, so that's why Robin was recording notes.

I'm sympathetic toward Lulu, but she would absolutely do the same thing if the roles were reversed.

"You can have another baby." Okay, Spinelli, time to stop talking.

October 23rd, 2013

The word of the day is Jerome, with the majority of conversations mentioning someone from that family. Morgan confronts Ava for lying about her business relationship with Julian, then basically accuses her of having a different kind of relationship with him. Ava manages to keep herself from throwing up, then goes to Julian to gloat that Morgan's falling for her. Meanwhile, Morgan slowly starts putting things together and realizes that Julian and Ava might present a danger to Sonny. He goes to Julian's office and overhears Ava a) calling him by his real name and b) mentioning that they’re siblings. Julian attacks Sonny where it hurts – his coffee warehouse – so Sonny retaliates by telling Lazaro (the shady DA) that he thinks Julian's alive. He asks Lazaro to look into the PCPD's reports on Julian's supposed death, but Lazaro doesn't think he can get them without Anna finding out. Franco gets a visit from the painting fairy, so now he can put up his show, though Heather doesn't know he's going to be using her pieces. Diane somehow knows that the paintings aren't his. Sam and Lucas' tests confirm that they're related and that Julian is Sam's father. From there she starts wondering if Ava and Julian were siblings, so she and Alexis ask Lucy for information on Victor. Lucy thinks that he had a mistress he met at a bar in Manhattan named Ryan's. Carly does various Carly things like making Franco jealous and letting herself into Ava's place to see Morgan. Diane wants to delay A.J.'s trial until after the DA elections, thinking Scott would be more helpful for her case. Julian gives Carlos (and us) a crash course in front companies. Kiki and Morgan sign their annulment papers. Scott encounters Heather.

Heh, Ava's more worried about Morgan calling her his girlfriend than about him eavesdropping and snooping.

I think Franco can take off that Band-Aid now.

I almost missed Heather's Todd reference. For some reason I though she was talking about Floyd.

Sam and Lucas' DNA tests might be the first in Port Charles not to be tampered with.

I don't think Lucy would forget the name Ryan, considering her history with people with that name.

Carly, stop busting into people's homes. Haven't you seen enough things you never wanted to see?

October 24th, 2013

Morgan is too dumb to keep his mouth shut about his newfound Jerome knowledge, so instead he confronts Ava and Julian, threatening to tell Sonny everything. Julian counters with his own threat, but it's not explicit enough for Morgan, and he doesn't bother to physically stop Morgan from leaving. Michael's worried that Morgan's in danger, but Sonny convinces him not to try to get him away from Ava since they don't have proof that Derek is Julian. Franco admits to Diane that the paintings aren't his, lying that his "muse" is okay with him putting his name on them, since she's his biggest fan. Diane points out that Annie Wilkes was Paul Sheldon's biggest fan, but he doesn't get the reference. He decides to ditch the show, but Diane talks him into putting it up since it'll make him look good to Carly and Julian. Then Franco learns that Julian is Ava's silent partner and ditches the show again. Heather pulls a knife on Scott, who tries to use their weird history (apparently they hooked up) to get her to calm down. He ends up making out with her, which Lucy sees. She encourages Scott to call the police and use his capture of a criminal to further his campaign. Heather threatens to tell the police that Scott and Lucy broke her out of the institute, so they have to let her go. Sam tells Silas what she's learned about her family, mentioning the bar where Victor met his mistress. Silas has been there, and though he thinks it's a stretch that Ava's one of the mobster Jeromes, he wants to go to New York with Sam to investigate. Sonny gives Michael the restaurant. Lucy's mad at Kevin again.

They're bringing Juan back. $5 says he's mobbed up.

Quiet, Morgan, grown-ups are talking.

I really couldn't care less about this Franco plot, but if it puts Diane on my TV, I'll put up with it.

I have a suggestion! Make Spinelli Victor's other love child! Do it do it do it do it!

October 25th, 2013

Morgan's too angry about Michael's new job, which he sees as Michael mobbing up, to tell Sonny about Julian, so he just leaves. Fortunately, it works out in his favor: Julian puts a hit on him, but when Carlos finds him, he thinks Morgan's already spilled to Sonny, so he takes him back to Julian instead of killing him. Morgan begs for his life, then asks to join up. Sonny gets the PCPD's file from Lazaro and confirms that Derek is Julian. Over in Greece, Robert and Anna are talking about Julian, too, and Robert admits that he knew Julian was alive but was sworn to secrecy by the WSB. Julian gave them information and was given a new identity and face in exchange. Robin may be back in Port Charles, but she's not having a good day. First she's not allowed to go to the hospital. Then she tells Faison that Jason will save her, and has to learn that Jason's dead from his killer. Then Britt tells her that Patrick and Sabrina are engaged. Patrick and Sabrina start telling people about their engagement, starting with Felix. Duke and Mac worry that Faison has done something to Robert and Anna.

I'm only surprised it took this long for one of Sonny's kids to mob up.

Ava's one to talk about compassion, especially in the exact spot where she killed a woman. (Uh, I think.)

Robin, don't taunt the killer.

Really, Britt? You thought it was a good idea to tell Robin that her husband's engaged to someone else?

Annulled: Morgan Corinthos and Kiki Jerome
Engaged (though it doesn't really count since they can't legally get married): Patrick Drake and Sabrina Santiago
Kidnapped: Anna Devane, Robert Scorpio

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Robert: "Say what you like about the Cassadines, but they do buy good equipment"; Jerry: "They're my hostages." Robin: "So now you're being consistent"; Diane to Morgan: "I see you still haven't found your shirt"
Funniest moment (unintentional): Nikolas with two guns in his waistband. Sorry, Prince Nikolas, you're just not that gangsta
Saddest moment: Robin learning of Jason's death
Sweetest/cutest moment: Li'l Connie takes the cake again
Least believable moment: Faison and Obrecht can walk around town undisguised
Best instances of continuity: Alcazar kidnapped Lulu and Spinelli; Jerry poisoned Nikolas; Victor Jerome's cause of death
Worst instance of continuity: How did Robin know Jason was cured?
Hero of the week: Nikolas
Most annoying characters: Morgan, Obrecht
Smartest characters: Sam, for figuring out that Ava and Julian might be siblings; Morgan, for taking Sonny's hints about Ava being a threat, but also...
Dumbest characters: Morgan, for not keeping his mouth shut; Julian, for letting Morgan get away; Robert and Anna, for not tying up Obrecht
Things we learned this week: 1. Ava was a love child.
2. Franco is unfamiliar with Misery.
3. Scott hooked up with Heather, which means he's in the Slept With Cousins Club (he dated Susan).
4. Faison used to own Spoon Island.

The week in a nutshell:

October 26th, 2013

Next week: Trick or treat? Well, Epiphany's on, so treat.

October 28th, 2013

Patrick tells Maxie about his engagement, which leads to a discussion of his and Robin's first attempt at getting married, five years ago today. Robin's discussing the same thing with Nikolas, and is anxious to get back to her family before Patrick can start a new one. Sabrina tells Carlos about her engagement, probably in hopes that he'll see that her relationship with Patrick is serious and stop bugging her about it. Instead, he questions the timing and accidentally makes her want to get married sooner. Sam and Silas go to Ryan's and meet one of the proprietors, Delia, who definitely knew Victor. In fact, she may be Victor's mistress and Ava's mother. Alexis tells Julian what Sam has uncovered about her family, but he manages to keep his concern under wraps. Ava reminds Morgan that mobbing up with Julian will mean a literal fight against Sonny, but Morgan's already moved to calling his father by his first name, so he's not too concerned. Olivia gets way more involved in Sonny's business than she should, so now she knows that Derek is Julian.

I'm just not feeling the suspense about Patrick and Sabrina rushing a wedding. It's not going to be legal, so what does it matter?

Sabrina, don't tell Carlos to leave you alone and then go see him.

If Delia is Ava's mother, that was a nice casting coup. There's definitely a resemblance there.

I think it's a safe bet that Julian doesn't know that Lucas is his son. It's nice that there's something Julian isn't in on.

I love you, Olivia, but you need to stop being nosy.

October 29th, 2013

Maxie and Spinelli prepare for what they think will be Li'l Connie's homecoming, while Lulu tries to convince Dante that they should run away. Diane's court order is denied, so the baby will be staying put for now, but the custody case will be going to trial. Maxie is shocked to learn that Lulu plans to paint her as an unfit mother and goes over to confront her. Julian wants Morgan to prove his loyalty. Olivia nags Sonny for an hour about how he and Julian shouldn't fight, they should use their words, just wait until she tells their mothers what they're up to, etc. Sonny tells her to stay out of it, which she interprets as "call Dante and ask him to help broker peace." Delia admits that she's Ava's birth mother, so there's that. Michael and Kiki are, like, the only happy people on this show.

Did anyone tell Ellie that a baby might be moving in?

Hi, Olivia. You've been in Port Charles for five years. Why are you acting like you just got here? News flash: Sonny kills people. The reason he didn't want to tell you what he was up to was that he didn't want you to react like this.

Yeah, sure, let's take the half-asleep baby out to the docks for no good reason.

Ava's only talked to her mother once, but she used to hang out at Ryan's? Um, okay.

October 30th, 2013

Lulu and Maxie are headed for war. Dante confides in Olivia that he's not sure going to court is the best idea because of what it's turning Lulu into. Sonny calls a meeting with Julian to ask him to print a story about how Julian might be alive. Julian smoothly rejects the idea because the only sources are Sonny and Shawn. Morgan proves his loyalty to Julian by planting a bug in Sonny's office. The process almost causes him and Michael to come to blows, but it's a good thing it didn't, because I'd have $5 on Morgan. Carly goes to Ava's looking for Morgan but instead finds Julian. She thinks Ava's cheating on Morgan with Julian, which everyone involved finds hilarious. Ellie wisely advises Spinelli to avoid Maxie's shenanigans so he won't be painted an unfit father. They then turn to the subject of their relationship, and he decides that he's able to forgive her. Olivia chickens out of telling Dante about Julian.

I'm not necessarily encouraging this, but if Maxie told the judge that Lulu was considering running away with Li'l Connie, she might gain an advantage. I'm not sure what she plans to use against Lulu instead. The only thing I can think of that Lulu's done that could affect her is killing Logan, but that was in self-defense. Maxie, however, stole drugs for Lucky and was never charged.

Julian, you need to write "I am not as smart as Sonny" on your arm and refer to it whenever you get too cocky.

Writers, please use Shawn for something other than exposition and recapping.

Tip: If people keep thinking you're sleeping with your brother, some part of your behavior needs to change.

October 31st, 2013

Robin's mopey about being away from her family, until she decides to pull an A.J. and don a costume to spy on them. Faison scares poor Lesley so badly that she passes out. When she wakes up, she insists that she saw him, but Nikolas and Britt tell her that it was Alfred. She's still skeptical, so Nikolas and Britt rush to the hospital Halloween party to keep her from telling anyone who she saw. Franco comes very close to winning Carly over. Brad thinks Felix should come around to liking him already, and may finally come clean about not being Ben's father. Duke tells Patrick that he's worried that Faison has done something to Anna. Patrick advises him to talk to Nikolas, since he encountered Obrecht in Greece. Elizabeth seems to be regretting her decision to throw Nikolas over for A.J. Speaking of throwing over, Emma has a crush on Cameron but ends up with Spencer instead. Someone (probably Heather) is lurking around with a knife. Everyone still hates Britt (except Nikolas, who kisses her).

How is Robin's costume more frightening than Faison's?

I guess Spencer doesn't know what Robin looks like?

Aiden's Buzz Lightyear costume isn't just a cute choice – it's full of continuity. Back when Nikolas thought Aiden was his, Spencer insisted that they name him Buzz Lightyear.

How does Josslyn know about Children of the Corn? I blame Morgan.

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