October 4th, 2014

Next week: Carly should consider hiding out on the island, too.

October 6th, 2014

Jason has amnesia, because of course he does. He does have a fuzzy memory of Elizabeth, who thinks he just remembers her talking to him while he was unconscious. She's much more disturbed when he also remembers her telling him he was going to be a father, and mentions Jake's name. Carly protesteth too much and winds up naked with Sonny again. Franco wants revenge, telling Nina he's going to remind them how crazy he used to be (or, more likely, still is). Nina's more interested in the fact that Sonny killed A.J. While chasing after Franco, Nina forgets about her web of lies, and Silas catches her out of her wheelchair. In Amsterdam, Sam and Patrick meet up with Tracy, who promises to cooperate if it turns out Luke's working with the Jeromes. Then there's hotel wackiness, and Sam and Patrick will have to share a room. Monica tries her hand at Internet dating, getting matched with David Walters, Maxie's custody judge. Maxie and Nathan are adorable together, but Walters disagrees with me.

This show hates me. I CANNOT TAKE LIAISON. And dang it, they're using the one thing that makes me sympathetic toward Elizabeth (Jake) against me. Come back soon, Sam!

Nina, repeat after me: "It's a miracle! Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!"

I don't know what's funnier, Sam whining at Tracy to give her a place to sleep, or Sam thinking Tracy would actually give her a place to sleep.

How sad is it that Monica has to talk about her love life with Silas?

October 7th, 2014

Elizabeth tells Jason all about Jake, thinking that might be his name. He's still not sure, but he's willing to take it on in place of John Doe. Franco lays a huge guilt trip on Carly and Sonny, then asks Sonny to apologize for kissing Carly. Sonny won't, so Franco pretends to threaten to tell Michael everything, then says he won't, since that would hurt Carly. Walters tells Maxie that her custody of Georgie could depend on the company she keeps, so she needs to stop hanging out with Nathan. Maxie thinks that's ridiculous, but Nathan is willing to give in. Nina tells Silas that she was afraid to tell him she was better because she didn't want him to kick her out (true), and that she was chasing after Franco because he wanted her to come clean (not so true). Silas forgives her, or at least pretends to, but he also remembers Sam's suspicions about Nina's condition. There's bed-related shenanigans in Amsterdam. Alexis is ready to break off her fake relationship with Ned until she learns from Sam that Tracy saw Julian and Fluke together the night of the engagement party. Sorry, Olivia, but you'll have to find another movie buddy.

Did Elizabeth mention Jake when she and Monica were talking earlier? She might have. I figured Elizabeth would think that's where Jason heard the name.

I keep wanting to say, "How does Elizabeth not realize that's Jason??" but really, how could she know? Even if he reminded her of Jason, her brain would tell her that's as far as it can go. Logically, she wouldn't suspect he's Jason because she thinks he's dead. The thought wouldn't even occur to her.

I'm pretty sure Maxie can request a new judge, now that this one has completely overstepped his boundaries. Also, he should stop worrying about her social life and focus on the fact that she hasn't had a job in, like, two years.

How much is the show getting paid to plug The Equalizer and The Golden Girls?

October 8th, 2014

Ava has more baby-related pain, so Morgan meets with Jordan to retrieve her pills. Meanwhile, Sabrina asks Carlos if he's 100 percent sure Ava was behind the accident, since Fluke also allegedly confessed. Carlos points out that Fluke could have taken advantage of the crash to threaten Spencer. Sabrina points out that Ava could have done the same thing. Carlos is like, "Well, then I guess you better stop the baby-killing scheme, huh?" Sabrina attempts to by calling Jordan, but Jordan just hangs up on her. Silas fires Rosalie, who tells Nina she's not going to break up Michael and Kiki. Nina tries to threaten her into keeping up with the mission, but she doesn't really have anything to use against Rosalie. Also, as Rosalie reminds her, she knows all of Nina's secrets, so it's best not to cross her. Rosalie then goes to see Morgan, accidentally keeping him from getting Ava her medication. He's unable to chase her off, and she winds up finding out that Ava's hiding out with him. Silas questions how long Nina has been keeping secrets from him; she tells him she's only been able to walk for a few weeks. Later, he calls Sam to tell her she may have been right about Nina's condition. Sam has a very...intimate dream about Patrick, and Tracy kind of makes it worse by suspecting that they slept together. Shawn is curious as to why Jordan stopped the hit on Michael. Jordan claims that she wanted to make up for keeping Shawn from fulfilling Sonny's orders to kidnap Ava. Also, because Michael's innocent and stuff. Shawn thinks she's hiding something. Nikolas wants to get back together with Britt, and even invites her to move back into Wyndemere. Britt actually feels guilty about not being completely honest with him. Spencer is a horrible conscience and Britt should stop listening to him. Tracy agrees to let Sam and Patrick eavesdrop while she meets with Luke.

Maybe if Rosalie helps Ava, she'll get hired as a private nurse.

When Carlos the mob enforcer thinks you're making immoral decisions, you really need to reevaluate things.

NIKOLAS! NO! WHY ARE YOU SO FRUSTRATING??

Jasper Jacks flapjacks. Holy cow. That is brilliant.

Did Julian mock Jordan on the front page of his own paper? Jerk. She's the reason he's not in jail for killing Mickey!

October 9th, 2014

Sonny wants to take Franco out, and not on a date. He knows if he or Shawn does the deed, Carly will be able to connect the dots, so he considers finding someone else to carry out the hit. Franco has big plans for his wedding day but won't tell Nina so she can't be pinned as an accomplice. She doesn't think he has it in him to do anything bad to anyone else. Franco refers her to the Internet so she can read about all his crimes, and she's totally turned on. Ava swears Rosalie to secrecy about her whereabouts, and Rosalie promises to keep her mouth shut, which is all she's been doing lately. Also, Ava takes the pills, so get ready for your trip to Hell, Sabrina. Maybe you should have thought of something to do other than just call Jordan six times? Bobbie feels uncomfortable lying to Scott about the whole Sonny/Carly/Franco thing. The others feel equally uncomfortable about a lunch double date. Silas apologizes to Sam for believing Nina over her. Patrick thinks he also wants to get back together, so he'd kind of like to know if he's going to be second in line behind someone else. (Pssst, Patrick: You probably are, but it won't be behind Silas.) Duke is too much of a gentleman to keep Lucy from interrupting his time with Anna. Lucy and Bobbie are too immature to keep from getting catty with each other. Nina tries to get Rosalie to come running back by threatening to spill her secrets to Morgan. Alexis lets Julian know that he needs to work on his boundaries. Anna suggests following Morgan to find Ava, but Jordan doesn't think they can trust everyone at the PCPD to keep from leading Sonny to her.

Ew, Nina's like those women who write to men in prison.

Sorry, Silas. By the time Sam gets back to town, you'll be the last thing on her mind.

Bobbie, you need to talk to Scott about his facial hair. Immediately.

"Ned is unique in my life. You are a type." I like that!

October 10th, 2014

Despite Jason's unease with involving the police (based on a gut feeling), Elizabeth asks Dante to fingerprint him in an attempt to uncover his identity. After being released from jail due to lack of evidence, Obrecht tells Nathan that she was arrested for killing Victor. Nathan's appalled that both of his mothers are insane. Obrecht goes to Maxie's to try to talk to him again, but instead finds Madeline there. Lulu urges Maxie to talk to Diane about the situation with Judge Walters so she doesn't have to give up being with Nathan. Nina tries to guilt Silas into having sex with her at the hospital, but his mind is still on unraveling her lies. After some wackiness with a pot brownie, Sam, Patrick, and Tracy wait for Luke to meet them. Patrick is probably happy to know that Sam's too mad at Silas to want him back, at least right now. Milo thinks of a boxing lesson as a date, leading Epiphany to accuse him of trying to change her. He assures her that he likes her the way she is; he's just set in his ways and can only think of things to do that he already likes.

So no one finds it weird that Elizabeth is calling someone Jake? Or maybe they find it too awkward to comment on.

I knew Elizabeth was going to enlist Dante, but I never thought about him fingerprinting Jason. I can't wait to see the look on his face when he runs the prints.

Silas to Nina: "Why would I hate you?" Me: "I've started a list, if you need some help."

As much as I obviously don't want a Sam/Silas reunion (does anyone, actually?), I wish Patrick would bring up the what-would-you-do-in-Silas'-situation topic. I'll admit, I think Sam is a little too hard on Silas for wanting to be kind to Nina. She would absolutely do the same in his place.

I'd pay good money to see Tracy high.

Scorecard:
Back together: Nikolas Cassadine and Britt Westbourne
Back in town: Madeline Reeves, Maxie's fashion sense
Fired: Rosalie Martinez

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): The Metro Court restaurant serves Jasper Jacks Flapjacks; Tracy calling Sam "serendipitously hilarious"; Carly to Bobbie: "I'm not going to have this conversation with you if you keep saying 'did it'"
Funniest moment (unintentional): Sam whining at Tracy to let her crash with her
Saddest moment: N/A
Sweetest/cutest moment: Maxie and Nathan's date
Least believable moment: Nathan works at the police department but doesn't know why his mother was arrested
Best instances of continuity: Shawn wore the PCU sweatshirt T.J. gave him; the lighthouse!
Worst instance of continuity: N/A
Hero of the week: N/A
Most annoying character: Judge Walters
Smartest character: Jordan (she usually is, but I'm specifically thinking of her warning that they shouldn't use Morgan to find Ava because Sonny might have an inside man at the PCPD)
Dumbest character: Nina

The week in a nutshell:

• Jason woke up with amnesia (shocking, I know), but recovered two memories of Elizabeth. One was Jake's name, so they decided to call him that instead of John Doe. Later, Dante fingerprinted Jason to see if he's in the system. Fans everywhere cackled.
• Maxie and Nathan's first date went well until Judge Walters chastised her for getting involved with a guy who almost perjured himself for her. He ordered them to stay apart or risk Maxie's custody of Georgie.
• Silas caught Nina running at the hospital and she had to come clean about being able to walk. He questioned how long she's been out of the chair and told Sam he should have listened to her.
• Franco plotted against Sonny and Carly, informing Nina of his true evil nature.
• Sabrina realized that Ava might not be responsible for the crash, but she was too late to stop her from taking the pills.
• Sam and Patrick shared a bed in Amsterdam, leading her to have a sex dream about him. There was also some entertaining arguing between her and Tracy.
• Obrecht was let out of jail, then told Nathan why she was there in the first place. Also let out of jail: Madeline.
• Britt and Nikolas got back together.
• Thanks to Nina's "recovery," Rosalie was out of a job. She also stumbled on Ava's hiding place and was told not to say anything about it.
• Shawn got suspicious of Jordan's motives.
• Milo and Epiphany had a bumpy date, but things ended all right.
• In other dating news, Monica went out with Judge Walters.
• Alexis and Julian's on-again/off-again relationship switched back to off when she found out Tracy saw him with Fluke in the stables.
• Bobbie and Lucy...whatever.

October 11th, 2014

Next week: The unveiling of Jason. Also, possibly the return of someone else whose name starts with J.

October 13th, 2014

Elizabeth tells Jason a little about her personal life, including about the real Jake's supposedly dead biological father. Then Jason's bandages come off, but it's unclear whether Elizabeth recognizes him. In Amsterdam, Tracy, Sam, and Patrick are surprised when, instead of Luke, they're met by Jerry. He tells them he cured himself of polonium poisoning by kidnapping Luke and giving himself a blood transfusion, and has been communicating with Tracy using Luke's phone. Tracy thinks it all fits: Luke's innocent, and Jerry framed him as a Jerome partner. Jerry's willing to give Luke back, but he wants something in return. Just like her sister, Madeline was released due to lack of evidence – there was a chain-of-custody problem regarding the pharmacist's murder, and Nina isn't dead, so she's off the hook for murder. Madeline also implies that things didn't go down with Nina the way we've been led to believe. Obrecht taunts that Nina is all kinds of screwed up and Madeline should be worried about her. Silas questions Travis the physical therapist about Nina's quick recovery, laying it on thick by praising his work. While Nina desperately texts Travis instructions and warnings to keep his mouth shut, Travis comes clean, telling Silas that she never needed therapy. (Well, not physical therapy. She definitely needs the psychiatric kind.) Maxie tries to convince Nathan that he's not going to turn out like his truly insane family members. Lulu reluctantly tells them to stop talking to each other in public because a gossipy courthouse security guard is nearby. Instead of running Jason's fingerprints, Dante talks to Anna about the ridiculous idea that she couldn't hold Obrecht because of a lack of evidence, despite the fact that Obrecht shot Victor right in front of her. (Apparently Anna wouldn't be considered a reliable witness.) Then Lulu shows up to talk about Luke so Dante can continue to not run Jason's fingerprints.

I was excited to get to watch live today, so I didn't have to wait to see Jason's unveiling. But I wound up being more excited about...a terrorist. I'm sure it says something that I applaud whenever Jerry shows up. But I make no apologies.

It doesn't look like it's going to happen, but I was hoping for a scene where Maxie comes home to find Obrecht and Madeline in her apartment.

I like ruthless, mind-game-playing Silas. Especially if he turns into kicking-Nina-out Silas.

So...is Silas and Nina's child dead or not? I'm starting to lean towards not.

Oh, dear. Nina discovered emojis.

October 14th, 2014

Elizabeth finds Jason slightly familiar, but he looks so different that she doesn't recognize him. Dante runs his prints and gets a hit, but there's no information in his file. This is thanks to Helena, who has an inside man at the hospital and knows that Jason has amnesia and an unrecognizable face. P.S. She's working with Jerry. Jerry offers up Luke in exchange for control of ELQ. Tracy can only offer him her 9 percent, but she promises to get more. Jerry sends her back to the States to get stock certificates while Sam and Patrick caution her against believing anything he says. All of Nina's secrets are out, and Silas is TICKED. Madeline doesn't get to tell Obrecht whatever's going on with Nina before Nathan arrives. Madeline begs for a place to stay, admitting that she's lost all her money, and revealing that the family's assets were never stolen – Nina controls them. Oh, and she can walk. Nathan doesn't believe her. Britt tells Brad she's moving back in to Wyndemere while Nikolas talks to Spencer about trust and lies and blah blah blah, he's really going to kick himself when he finds out about Britt's latest schemes.

I'd say Jason looks more like Ewan McGregor than Brad Pitt, but I guess Elizabeth doesn't want to think about the name Ewan/Ewen. Actually, I really think he looks like Jonathan Jackson's brother, so Elizabeth clearly has a type.

Helena's a hacker now? Sure, okay.

I was wondering if Jerry knew about Jason, so at least we got one answer.

I really wish Tracy hadn't told Jerry that Michael's running ELQ. Good thing he's in hiding right now.

I feel sorry for Spencer for not having a mother, but not sorry enough to miss Courtney.

October 15th, 2014

Sabrina finally corners Jordan and tells her that not only is Ava's medication not helpful for her condition, it could lead to premature labor. Jordan passes the information along to Ava, who's in pain again, but it's too late for it to be useful. Nina connects with Rosalie and suggests that she take responsibility for dreaming up Nina's schemes. Rosalie refuses, so Nina threatens to reveal whatever her big secret is. Rosalie attempts to bail herself out by offering to give her Ava's whereabouts. Silas asks Franco about Nina's medical condition but instead gets information on Nina's hit list. Jordan visits Jason to "admit" her role in the accident, which he finds confusing, since he remembers someone else's voice speaking to him that night. Later, he remembers two people talking. Franco's revenge plan seems to involve showing his recording of her and Sonny having sex. Brad tells Elizabeth that Britt and Nikolas are back together. She's all, "I totally don't care! I have a new love interest!" Britt has a nightmare about Nikolas finding her out and turning on her again. Sonny calls Michael and Kiki back from the island, insisting that Shawn has neutralized any threats. He also accuses Carly of marrying Franco to keep him quiet. Michael wants to open a free clinic in A.J.'s name.

Does Nina think Silas cares whose idea her scheme was? He's still going to be mad that she went through with it. Also, I would caution her against messing with Rosalie.

Day two of not completely hating Silas. I feel weird.

Funny that Jordan busted Fluke because she recognized his voice, and now she might get busted because Jason doesn't recognize her voice.

First hint that Britt was dreaming: Nikolas would never call someone a b&%$#.

October 16th, 2014

Ava continues to refuse to go to the hospital or even let Britt come to her; she thinks Sonny will follow her. Kiki suggests that she bring Silas over and leaves to get him. Silas continues learning Nina's secrets, like that she, not Madeline, broke into his apartment, and Britt told her she's in menopause. He starts to realize that she's not completely stable and seemingly convinces her to go with him to see Kevin. She reacts badly to him touching her and knocks him out. Sonny and Shawn brainstorm people to frame when they murder Franco, coming to rest on Heather. Franco has a weird conversation with Michael, talking about how great Sonny is for not retaliating against Sonny, then asks Michael to be his best man. Michael reluctantly agrees, guilted into making Carly happy. Franco's next piece of wedding-related business takes him to see his mother. Madeline tells Nathan that Nina was very volatile growing up, and before she married Silas, Madeline tried to have her committed. Nathan doesn't believe her and heads off to talk to Nina directly. Of course, that's when Nina shows up and encounters her mother. Sabrina confesses her sins to Felix. Maxie, Lucas, and Bobbie work on Carly's wedding, which Josslyn isn't happy to have to participate in.

I get that Ava's scared and all, but she has to know that Sonny won't do anything while Morgan's around.

What's up with Michael Easaton playing characters who get knocked out before they can help babies?

Did Carly really date Johnny? I thought I hallucinated that.

Does anyone else think it's weird that Maxie's planning a wedding for a guy she once slept with and a woman I don't remember her even speaking to more than two or three times?

I've been waiting so long for a Maxie/Lucas scene that I was a little surprised there was no fanfare or anything.

October 17th, 2014

While Sonny and Shawn plan out how to make it look like Heather escaped from Ferncliff (she's back there?) and killed Franco, Franco tells his mother that she was right about how horrible Carly is. He adds that he's planning his revenge for their wedding, and he wants Heather to help. Nina's a little upset to see Madeline, where "a little upset" means "furious and wants to murder her." Madeline says she wishes she could bring Nina's baby back, which gives Nina an idea. Morgan tries to calm Ava down while Kiki revives Silas, briefly gets sidetracked by the Nina drama, then finally gets him to the brownstone. Michael asks Sabrina to work at his clinic, despite the fact that it'll be named after the person her ex is accused of murdering. Sabrina takes offense to his remarks about Carlos and spills that he's innocent. Bobbie bugs Carly about why she's getting married, but Carly will only tell her that it has to do with Michael. Sabrina wants to confess to the police, but Felix urges her to wait because the baby could be fine. Nathan runs around town looking for Nina, instead finding out that she knocked out Silas and can walk.

I feel like most of Heather's day consists of thinking up new insults for Carly.

Michael, I don't think you want Sabrina working at your clinic. But Patrick and Rosalie both need jobs.

I'm going to need Michelle Stafford to dial it down about 30 notches.

It's okay, Carly, my mom doesn't remember what happened to Stefan either.

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Sam: "You're a sociopath." Jerry: "See, she loves me"; Obrecht: "I've been made chief of staff." Madeline: "Is it a doll hospital?"
Funniest moments (unintentional): Patrick, re: Jerry: "He's dangerous." Yes, Patrick, I think Sam knows that; Sonny, re: Heather: "On the plus side, she's a homicidal maniac"
Saddest moment: N/A
Sweetest/cutest moment: Morgan trying to comfort Ava
Least believable moment: "Michael's in no danger anymore. I did nothing to ensure that, but we haven't seen Julian for a while, so I think it's okay"
Best instances of continuity: Jerry always calls Sam "sweet Sam"; Joey Limbo was the first person Franco killed in Port Charles; Maxie slept with Franco (and I've actually been waiting for someone to remember that)
Worst instance of continuity: Obrecht was arrested the same night Jason was injured, but he's been in the hospital for weeks while she was only in lockup for 48 hours
Hero of the week: Morgan, for being good in a crisis
Most annoying character: Nina
Smartest character: Jerry
Dumbest character: Tracy. NEVER TRUST JERRY
Inside joke: Tracy asking Jerry if he's a vampire – Sebastian plays a vampire on The Originals

The week in a nutshell:

• Silas learned everything Nina's been keeping from him and confronted her. She didn't react well, and she reacted even less well when she found out that Madeline was let out of prison.
• Ava went into labor, and it looks like she'll deliver with assistance from Silas, Morgan, and Kiki.
• Jason's bandages came off but he remained unrecognized. Helena tampered with his police records, so Dante had no luck with his fingerprints.
• In Amsterdam, Jerry surprised Tracy, Sam, and Patrick, revealing that he'd kidnapped Luke and asking for control of ELQ in exchange for his release.
• Sonny and Shawn plotted Franco's death, deciding to frame Heather for it. Franco also plotted, and his plan also involves Heather.
• Sabrina's conscience realized it was slacking and went into overdrive.
• Britt moved back into Wyndemere, feeling guilty about lying to Nikolas. Elizabeth tried to brush off the news and focus on her new potential love interest. (Shut up, Liaison shippers.)
• Jordan told Jason that she was the one who ran him down, but he remembered someone else being there.
• Michael put plans for a free clinic in motion.
• Maxie and Nathan spent a few minutes together, but that was about it.
• Josslyn expressed her disapproval of her mother's marriage.

October 18th, 2014

Next week: The second anniversary of Jason's "death," so expect a lot of nudge-nudge wink-wink dialogue.

October 20th, 2014

Olivia bugs Carly about marrying Franco when she's clearly still hot for Sonny. After some fighting, Olivia has a vision of Heather with a knife and worries that she'll break out of Ferncliff. While Shawn makes plans for Heather's breakout, Sonny innocently listens to Olivia rant about Heather, all, "Hey, that vision could come true! She could kill someone!" Meanwhile, Franco gets Heather on his side and promises to get her to the wedding. Sabrina tells Michael that Carlos made a false confession because Ava threatened to hurt her. Michael hasn't quite pieced everything together, but he's figured out that Ava could have easily lied about where she was when A.J. was murdered. Silas stops Ava's labor and promises to keep her whereabouts secret. Nina wants Madeline to kidnap Ava's baby for her, which most people probably figured out weeks ago was eventually going to happen. Madeline refuses, but Nina plays on her weakness: lack of money. Madeline doesn't have much choice but to give in, and even keeps Nathan in the dark about where Nina is. Bobbie hits it off with Brad and tries to get him to help her bug Lucas about getting a job. Oh, by the way, he went to medical school. He doesn't want to be a doctor, though, because Tony was so awesome and he knows he couldn't live up to his father.

Yay, I was just sulking over the fact that Olivia hasn't had a vision in a really long time.

CARLY IS NOT OVERREACTING. PROPER SPELLING IS IMPORTANT, OLIVIA.

Madeline is okay with murder but draws the line at kidnapping. Sure.

Lucas spent four years in med school and we're just now hearing about it? Talk about a retcon. He should be a pediatrician; GH doesn't have one right now. Or he can work at Michael's clinic. Also, Lucas, sweetie, Tony may have been a great doctor, but he also had a breakdown and kidnapped Robin and Michael, so living up to him won't be as hard as you think.

Bobbie: "Treating people, saving lives..." Me: "The family business. No, wait."

Man, it's going to be Halloween for, like, two weeks. I hope we at least get to see some good costumes.

October 21st, 2014

Michael tells Kiki that he thinks Ava killed his father. Kiki: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that's insane but I also have no idea who the real killer might be." She's unable to stop him from trying to call Anna. Sonny thinks he and Shawn can use Franco's visit to Heather to show that she has motive to kill her son. This just in: Sonny doesn't know what "motive" means. Nina thinks she and Madeline can use whatever it is Rosalie's hiding to get her on their side. Coincidentally, Nathan has just run into Rosalie while searching for Nina, so they have to put their plan on hold until she's alone again. Silas tells Ava that Nina's out for revenge, like Ava doesn't already have enough to deal with. Franco and Carly...whatever. T.J. and Jordan fight about the same things they always fight about.

So...nothing happened in this episode. They could have skipped it without losing anything. I hate placeholders.

Michael's kind of being a jerk. "I know you love your mom, but I'm pretty sure she's a murderer, so I'm going to call the police and let them know, m'kay? Love ya!" You know if Kiki told Michael that Sonny killed A.J., Michael would stop her from calling the police.

Yeah, don't keep jerking us around about letting us know Rosalie's secret and then keep expecting us to care what her secret is.

For someone who's so good at her job, Jordan is...also not so good at her job.

October 22nd, 2014

Despite a bunch of hype about Jason remembering something in this episode, he just tells Elizabeth that he heard two voices after the accident. Obrecht hassles Jason about insurance, as if a John Doe with no ID would have his CareFirst card on him. Sadly, there's also no "his family basically owns the hospital, nyah" card. Obrecht's visit leads to Elizabeth telling Jason that the chief's ex killed her ex. Michael asks Anna to reopen A.J.'s murder case despite the fact that there's no evidence that Ava did anything. Meanwhile, Kiki tells Morgan about Michael's suspicions, and they continue playing innocent about everything, even when Michael tells him he wants to track down Ava. Sam, Patrick, and Tracy return to town with news about Jerry and how he allegedly kidnapped Luke. While Tracy tries to get allies in ELQ, Alexis wonders if Julian was telling her the truth all along. Sam reminders her that Spencer heard Fluke, not Jerry, in the stable. Danny calls Patrick "Daddy," which makes Sam sad that she's been a widow for two years. Julian publishes gossip that Ned and Monica are having another fling, then threatens to print more lies if Ned doesn't leave town. Ned would rather punch him in the face. Anna and Obrecht snipe at each other a little and it goes nowhere. Olivia asks Dante to make sure Heather's where she's supposed to be. Not shown: Sonny offering to do it instead.

Awww, Jason's funny now. I like it.

Since Jerry knows about Jason, I'm going to guess that Obrecht does, too.

There's only one person Tracy needs to get on her side: Skye. She'll absolutely help Luke, and if you add in Lila Rae's shares, Skye has 18%. 18 + Tracy's 9 = 27%, which is more than Michael's share. Boom, done.

Why are the adorable children on my TV not in costume??

October 23rd, 2014

Jason gets a crash course in his own life, learning about his previous brain injury and memory loss. Later, he meets Carly. Heather questions Franco's real feelings for Carly, but he assures her he's going through with his plan, which involves bribing a Ferncliff employee to sneak her out. Shawn and Sonny are also going through with their plan, which involves Shawn knocking out the Ferncliff employee and grabbing Heather himself. Ned refuses to help Luke, and Monica refuses to give Jerry anything, but Tracy's able to get Alice to hand over her 6.5%. Julian tells Alexis that he doesn't know anything about Jerry kidnapping Luke, but admits that he's worked with Jerry in the past. She's still done with him. Olivia confides to Dante that she wants to be more than friends with Ned. Dante encourages her to go talk to him, but when Olivia arrives, she sees him hugging Alexis. Lulu tells Carly that Franco changed the wedding venue from the Metro Court to the Haunted Star. Monica mourns Jason, telling Alice she wishes she had a piece of him, like, hi, Monica, he does have a kid.

No one is ever going to believe me, but yesterday I thought that it would be awesome if Jason went to art therapy and met Franco. So half of that came true. Sort of.

People, STOP PLANNING WEDDINGS ON THE HAUNTED STAR. THEY NEVER END WELL. Of course, in this instance, Franco doesn't want it to end well, but the point stands.

Man, Alice looks fantastic.

I've never really paid attention before, but have you noticed that the majority of visitors to the Quartermaines' mansion are greeted with, "Who let you in?"

Wait, so it's NOT Halloween? Who screwed up the days? I'm so confused.

October 24th, 2014

Lulu and Ned both threaten Jerry, who makes threats of his own, telling Ned he could easily use Brook to get what he wants. He accepts Tracy's offer of 14.5% and sends a messenger to get the stocks while Ned and Lulu beg Tracy not to trust him. Once the stocks are his, Jerry sends them outside the mansion to get Luke. Sonny envisions Connie, who accuses him of wanting to kill Franco so he can have Carly. Sonny doesn't exactly see a problem with that. Carly makes "Jake" her new Jason, telling him all about her love life, mourning her "late" best friend, and asking for advice. He tells her to marry Franco if she wants to and call off the wedding if she doesn't. Michael fills Rosalie in on his suspicions about Ava, and she starts to tell him where he can find her. Madeline interrupts to try to get Rosalie on her and Nina's team. As she's telling Nina that she knows where Ava is, Rosalie pays the brownstone a visit. Ava knows her days are numbers, but Kiki wants to stay optimistic that Rosalie will keep her mouth shut and Sonny will stay in the dark about her whereabouts. Franco and Nina have a tiny pre-ruining-people's-lives celebration.

Did I eat Tracy's space cake or did Jerry request a threesome with Ned and Monica?

Why did Sonny imagine Connie with brown hair?

How ticked is Carly going to be when she finds out Jason had a memory of Elizabeth and not her?

Nina realizes she can't actually get the baby right now, right? Like, it hasn't been born yet?

When it comes to intimidation, Ned > Lulu > Madeline.

Week in review:
Funniest moment (intentional): Julian hates mob stereotypes but Sonny embraces them
Funniest moment (unintentional): Bobbie chastising Lucas for living off of her and Carly – uh, I think you mean just Carly, because I don't see you working either
Saddest moment: N/A
Sweetest/cutest moment: N/A
Least believable moment: Lucas went to medical school and this is the first we're hearing about it
Best instance of continuity: Jason wanting the window of his hospital room open
Worst instance of continuity: N/A
Hero of the week: Silas
Most annoying character: Obrecht
Smartest character: Does Connie count?
Dumbest character: Nina, who's hiding from Silas at his place of work
Things we learned this week: Lucas went to med school.

The week in a nutshell:

• In case you haven't heard, Carly and Franco's wedding is tomorrow. Sonny was against it. Heather wanted to help stop it. Olivia thought Heather might crash it. Shawn made sure she'll be there. Jason was like, "Does everyone in this town talk their problems over with strangers?"
• Speaking of Jason, it was the second anniversary of his death, so various people were sad. Elizabeth and Carly told him all sorts of stuff about himself but he didn't remember anything.
• Off of Sabrina's news that Carlos didn't kill A.J., Michael asked Anna to reopen the case, then set out to find Ava, who he thinks is the real killer.
• Sonny hallucinated Connie but mostly ignored her attempts to act as his conscience.
• Tracy got Alice to hand over her 6.5% in ELQ, then presented Jerry with 14.5%.
• Silas stopped Ava's labor while Nina and Madeline schemed to kidnap the baby. Rosalie had yet to choose a side.
• Julian tried to blackmail Ned to leave town. They resorted to violence, which Alexis broke up.
• Danny got confused about who his father is.
• Brad (and the audience) learned that Lucas went to medical school but doesn't want to be a doctor.
• Dante told Olivia to pursue Ned if that's what she wants, but Olivia thought Alexis had beaten her to it.
• Jordan and T.J. kept up their record of not having civil conversations.
• Nathan's detective skills started looking as bad as Dante's.

October 25th, 2014

Next week: Danny's Halloween costume is a pawn, since that's all he is to the writers.

October 27th, 2014

Michael tells Sonny that he thinks Ava killed A.J., but he can't find her, so maybe Sonny can have some people look for her? Sonny's like, "What a great idea!" Shawn keeps Heather calm and clueless with a BLT and the charade that he's the person Franco hired to break her out of Ferncliff. Franco meets and instantly dislikes Jason; the feeling's mutual. Jason entertains himself (and Elizabeth) by talking back to Obrecht, climbing a bunch of stairs, and quoting Titanic. (I swear every word of that sentence is true.) Instead of Luke or Fluke, Jerry has sent Ned's father Larry Ashton to the Quartermaine mansion. He doesn't know anything about Luke or what Jerry's up to, either because he was drugged or just because he's drunk. Rosalie warns Kiki and Ava that Nina's looking for them, but claims she didn't reveal their location. Madeline reports to Nina that Rosalie said Ava's with Kiki (didya get all that?). Obrecht mentions that a patient took medication that caused premature labor, which gives Nina an idea. Franco teases Carly that since he played revealing videos when they first reunited, he may play some more revealing videos at their wedding. Alexis and Olivia get filler scenes talking about Ned and the wackiness of Quartermaines.

Sonny missed a great opportunity to go along with Michael's suspicions. "I bet Ava did kill A.J.! I'll track her down and take care of it." Easy peasy.

I love you, snarky Jason. Not so much Titanic-quoting Jason, though. And I'm assuming he saw it because Robin made him years ago? I know she made him see The English Patient because I still remember (17 or so years later – I'm pathetic) that he said it was "three hours of people talking with Jax's accent." Also, I wish Jerry had been in this episode because of Sebastian Roche's role in the Titanic episode of Supernatural.

Hugo Napier does look a bit like Tony Geary. So I guess Tracy has a type.

You have to admit, Nina wanting to redo what Silas just undid is pretty funny.

October 28th, 2014

Carly kicks Franco out for the night, so he crashes with Scott, ruining Scott's planned evening with Bobbie. Carly spends the evening insisting to Bobbie that everything is cool and she really, really wants to get married. Franco spends the evening trying to get in touch with Heather's would-be "kidnapper" and preparing for the next day's festivities. Shawn and Sonny wonder why Franco wanted to get Heather out of Ferncliff, but figure it's a moot point since they ruined his plans. Sonny then calls Carly to tell her he loves her, and almost succeeds in winning her over. Jason meets Michael, and there's another round of Let Me Tell You About My Problems, Stranger. Jason thinks Michael's too close to the Ava situation and should leave it to the police. It's Beggars' Night, and while the other kids beg for candy, Josslyn begs Spencer to get her out of attending the wedding. Spencer doesn't have any ideas, but he kicks off his plan to pretend they're a couple in order to make Emma and Cameron jealous. Patrick, Sam, Maxie, Lucas, Nikolas, and Britt spend 30 seconds together, and it might be the most interesting part of the episode. Nathan asks Diane for help getting around Walters' orders, but the only options could backfire and get Maxie in more trouble, so he decides not to risk it.

Fun Things They Should Do With Jason, Part 1: Have everyone in town tell him their secrets, and then when he eventually gets his memory back, he'll have dirt on everyone. And then they keep trying to go back to him to talk more, because he gave them such good advice, but he doesn't want to talk to anyone anymore, because he's Jason. "Come on! I have a real problem!" "I already have to deal with all of Carly's problems. My dance card is full."

Fun Things They Should Do With Jason, Part 2: Have him meet someone he used to like but now finds annoying. Like, wouldn't it be funny if he hated Sonny? Or the opposite – what if he became friends with Patrick? What if they hung out and drank beer and watched hockey, and then when Jason's identity was revealed, Patrick felt really dirty?

If Beggars' Night is a regional thing, shouldn't more people in the region know about it? Shouldn't we have heard about Port Charles doing it before this year? I think they only did it so we could see the kids in costumes now, since Halloween is going to be full of wedding stuff.

Who was Spencer talking about, with the fake couple trying to make people jealous, the guy leaving town, and the girl dying? I'm stuck.

Emma was...a poodle in a poodle skirt? That could have used some discussion.

Do we really need to talk about Logan? Like, ever?

October 29th, 2014

Michael tells Carly that he thinks Ava killed A.J., and he's determined to find out for sure. Carly basically tells him to get over it. Morgan spots someone staking out the brownstone and goes into panic mode. Kiki suspects Nina, but Morgan thinks Sonny's responsible and goes to confront him. Madeline (the real staker-outer) tells Nina that Silas spent the night at the brownstone, and Nina has a spectacular meltdown. First she considers killing both Ava and Silas, but then she decides to get Silas away from Ava, make Ava go into premature labor, and take the baby. Anna finally follows up on Jordan's warning that Sonny's after Ava, telling him she's keeping an eye on him. Sonny points out that he doesn't know where she is, and anyway, it's not like he would hurt a woman who might be having his baby. Anna mentions that Ava's also under suspicion for killing A.J., and Sonny says that she might have fled because she heard she was busted. Franco learns that Heather's MIA, then possibly starts to feel a teeny bit guilty about being a horrible person thanks to Kiki. His day gets even worse when Shawn shows up to kill him. Jordan and Shawn fight about what they always fight about, and then she throws T.J.'s father's death in his face. He calls her bluff, threatening to tell T.J. the truth, which would turn him against Jordan even more.

Does Nina really think that Ava, at nine months pregnant, is having sex with anyone right now?

If Nina delivers Ava's baby, then tries to kidnap it, she's Claudia. And no one wants to be Claudia.

I'm getting scared because I've pretty much stopped disliking Silas. I mean, if Nina killed him, I wouldn't cry, but I don't actively want him dead.

Way to wait two weeks to follow up on Jordan's tip, Anna.

I do enjoy Sonny/Anna scenes, though. Sonny doesn't know what to do with a woman who talks to him the way she does.

October 30th, 2014

A pre-wedding conversation with Spencer lets Carly know that Franco knew he was hiding out in the house over the summer. Spencer further elaborates that Franco kept quiet so Spencer wouldn't spill that he was plotting against Sonny. Carly figures out that he was trying to get his hands on the recording. Morgan confronts Sonny for killing A.J., threatening to tell Michael if Sonny doesn't leave Ava alone. Sonny gives him the whole story, explaining that he's targeting Ava because she killed Connie. Franco calmly tries to convince Shawn that killing him would make Carly turn on Sonny (not that Shawn cares about that). Meanwhile, Jordan goes looking for Shawn and comes across Heather. Once Heather learns that Shawn works for Sonny, not Franco, she takes Jordan hostage and uses her to lure Shawn away from Franco. As Sonny gets a text telling him that Franco's been taken care of, Heather locks Jordan and Shawn in the warehouse together, then heads to the wedding. Nina tells Madeline to get Obrecht to call Silas in to work so he'll have to leave Ava. Madeline comes up with a different, much meaner idea: She alters Danny's blood work to make Sam think his leukemia has returned, which leads Sam to beg Silas to come be with her. Silas tells Ava about his relationship woes, and how he hopes to patch things up with Sam.

There was a time when Thursday episodes were nothing but recaps and filler. Thank God those days are over.

I was so looking forward to the Sonny/Morgan scenes, and I'm very satisfied. Plus, more tomorrow!

Good news, Supernatural fans: They're letting Adam out of the cage in Hell...SO MADELINE CAN TAKE HIS PLACE. Though at least this means Danny's fine.

I don't believe for a second that Jordan couldn't free herself. She's practically a WSB-level spy.

October 31st, 2014

Nina paralyzes Ava, taunting that she's going to take her baby and destroy Kiki's life. Morgan doesn't believe Sonny's accusations about Ava, so Sonny plays him the recording (which is the only copy left, as Carly deleted hers). Now convinced, Morgan tells his father where he can find Ava. Franco tells the truth for once, admitting to Carly that he considered giving the recording to Ava but then realized he couldn't trust her. She forgives him and the wedding goes forward. Then it stops abruptly when Franco announces that he's not going to marry her. Anna tries to question Julian about the possibility of Ava having killed A.J., but it turns out that neither thinks it's true. Anna then shares her theory with Dante: Sonny killed A.J., and turned on Ava because she was holding it over his head. Her next step is looking into Sonny's alibi, which was provided by Duke. Silas plans to rerun Danny's tests, so unless Madeline's going to alter them again, that plot's over. Obrecht must be losing her edge, because her idea of messing with Jason is discharging him and giving him his hospital bill. She's also suspicious of Madeline, but there's nothing actually interesting there.

I like how everything's coming together. Morgan learns the truth about Ava and tells Sonny where she is just as Ava needs rescuing. Anna and Dante suspect that Sonny killed A.J. just as Franco's about to reveal that to Michael. Sonny's alibi for the night of A.J.'s murder is Anna's boyfriend. Talk about complicated.

I thought the storyline was going to be that Danny relapses, Julian's MIA, and somehow Jason gets tested as a bone marrow donor. But if they're going to run more tests, I assume they'll have the correct results this time, and the plotline will be a wash.

I don't know if can handle goofy Jason. It's unsettling.

Dear writers, Jason's hospital bill is not a plot. Cut the filler and have Felix read another sonnet or something.

Speaking of, I totally forgot that Carly and Felix are friends. I can't remember the last time they talked.

Scorecard:
Back in town: Larry Ashton

Week in review:
Funniest moments (intentional): Obrecht: "It is an absolute boon to the hospital to have an artist of his caliber working here." Elizabeth: "Caliber as in handgun?"; Josslyn: "It's not my fault I'm under his dreamy spell"; Kiki: "How do I look?" (no response) "Okay. Too bad – I'm wearing it anyway"
Funniest moment (unintentional): The pictures Heather sent Shawn to let him know she was holding Jordan hostage
Saddest moment: Sam thinking Danny's sick again
Sweetest/cutest moment: Sam's last-minute tree costume
Least believable moment: Morgan: "Someone was parked outside the brownstone, but I didn't bother looking to see who it was"
Best instance of continuity: Franco almost blew up Lulu
Worst instance of continuity: Jason telling Michael to let the police take care of the Ava situation, when just a few weeks ago, he was anti-cop
Hero of the week: N/A
Most annoying character: Nina
Smartest characters: Heather, for thinking fast to get Shawn and Jordan out of her way; Spencer, for realizing that, after you've done something that could anger a serial killer, the last place you want to be is in the same room as that serial killer
Dumbest character: Nina. How does she know Morgan won't come home?
Things we learned this week: 1. Sonny has the only remaining copy of the recording

The week in a nutshell:

• Michael told Sonny and Carly that he was looking for Ava, suspecting that she killed A.J. Morgan thought Sonny was staking out the brownstone to find Ava (it was actually Madeline), so he revealed that he knows Sonny killed A.J. Sonny countered by disclosing that Ava killed Connie. Upset that he chose his murderous girlfriend over his murderous father, Morgan gave Sonny Ava's location.
• Nina decided it was time to make a move on Ava and take her baby.
• Franco managed to not get murdered by Shawn, thanks to Heather taking Jordan hostage and using her to lure Shawn away. A last-minute fight with Carly over his attempt to give Ava the recording almost derailed the wedding, but ultimately it proceeded...until Franco replaced "I do" with "hell no."
• Jason met Franco, who he hated (and vice versa), and Michael, who he liked. Obrecht discharged him and gave him a bill.
• Needing to get Silas away from Ava, Madeline changed Danny's test results to make Sam think his cancer was back, so she would call Silas to the hospital.
• Instead of Luke, Jerry sent Ned's father, Larry Ashton, to Port Charles.
• Nathan wasn't thrilled with Diane's suggestions for legal ways he and Maxie could see each other.
• Shawn and Jordan fought about T.J. and Thomas and their jobs and everything they always fight about.
• The kids celebrated Beggars' Night.