General Hospital blog - October, 2018

October 1st, 2018

Margaux and Jordan try to bug Jason about Marino, but the combination of Jason's usual Stone Cold silence and the defense of Diane's associate Henry mean they don't get anywhere. (Also, Jason had nothing to do with that murder and was, like, five at the time, so the whole thing is dumb.) While Jordan tries to talk Margaux into recusing herself, Jason tells Carly and Mike that the police have nothing on Sonny and won't be able to tie Marino's murder to Sonny. Mike in turn assures them that they'll never find the gun either – he threw it in the Hudson River after he took the body from Croton. Lucy thinks Ryan's getting sick and annoys him into agreeing to let her tend to him (though it's a good opportunity for him to murder her, so that might have something to do with his agreement). She's also annoying about how long Laura's been gone, but it doesn't matter since she's FINALLY back. Valentin tries one last time to get Nina to agree to stay married, but she signs the divorce papers anyway. She then admits to Lulu that she could have stuck it out and learned to fake it for Charlotte's sake, but Lulu knows that wouldn't have been good for anyone. She assures Nina that she won't lose her relationship with Charlotte, and that Nina's just as much her mother as Lulu is. Sasha's DNA test comes back saying she's Nina's daughter, but Valentin and I are both skeptical. He wants to wait for the results of a second test before telling Nina, but Curtis convinces him to tell her immediately. In return, Valentin convinces him not to tell Sasha anything in case she only wants a relationship because she could get money. Carly is intrigued when she hears Ryan absentmindedly knocking Morse code on a table. He tells her he was just thinking about her experiences with his mystery patient, and that he hasn't heard about the patient's release, so he must still be at Ferncliff. Carly tells him he (well, Kevin) was right and she wants to continue therapy. Mike talks to Carly about his decisions, and she assures him that they'll always treat him with respect.

Tune in tomorrow when a 35-year-old gun washes ashore in Port Charles.

I like Henry. It's easy to see why Diane hired him.

Only on TV do people knock on their own front doors.

I can't decide who was more annoying today, Lucy or Margaux.

I don't buy that Charlotte's bossy. She's too polite.

I knew the Morse code would come back! And I'm impressed that Carly remembered it.

October 2nd, 2018

Carly thinks that with the gun out of the picture, Sonny and Mike are in the clear for Marino's murder. Jason disagrees and wants to find some sort of leverage to use against Margaux so she'll back off. He and Carly plot to dig into Marino's past (well, okay, to have Spinelli dig into his past) and prove that he was mobbed up and not the heroic figure Margaux seems to think he was. Meanwhile, Margaux thinks she can get Jason to flip on Sonny. When I stop laughing, Jordan tells her that will never happen and will just make Diane mad. Margaux then goes back to Drew for help, and he reminds her that anything Jason knows about Marino's murder was learned after the memory copy-and-paste, so he can't help her. It takes her a little while, but Nina eventually believes Valentin about Sasha. (But she's not grateful enough to take him back.) We'll pretend that jet lag is the reason Laura doesn't catch on that her husband isn't really her husband. Lucy pops in, and Laura tells her that while she's okay with Lucy and Kevin being friends, Lucy needs to respect their boundaries. Ryan then tells Laura that Lucy's been "assertive" with him recently. Oscar's still mad at his parents for keeping his health news from him, and his bitterness has carried over to not caring about the drug trial, since he'll die no matter what. Kim encourages him to talk to someone about his feelings, but Oscar doesn't want anyone to know he's sick. In the grand tradition of soap characters facing health crises, Oscar decides he needs to push away the person closest to him, so he breaks up with Josslyn. Julian offers his support to Kim again, but she wants to respect Oscar's privacy and not tell Julian he's sick. She suggests that they break up as well, but Julian would rather stay with her and be in the dark. Valerie is now a detective, and Jordan partners her with Chase, which makes Lulu sad, since it means Dante's being replaced.

Jordan, re: Jason: "'He had nothing to say without his attorney' will be carved on his tombstone." First, heh. Second, it's Jason, so he won't actually be dead.

Nina: "Why do you think my child survived?" Valentin: "Math." I mean, he turned out to be right, but come on.

I am 100% dead serious about what should happen next: Joss turns to Cam for comfort, they sleep together, and she gets pregnant.

I would say that Oscar should go to therapy, but...not at GH right now.

If they don't put Valerie with Kristina, she'd be cute with Chase.

October 3rd, 2018

Oscar orders Cameron not to tell Josslyn about his illness, offering him and English paper as hush money. He then tells Drew that, since education means nothing to someone who's dying, he's dropping out of school. Drew and Kim bring Monica into the circle of people who know about Oscar's illness, and she vows to find a way to make him well. Josslyn's understandably confused about her and Oscar's sudden breakup and realizes she must love him after all, since otherwise, she wouldn't be in so much pain. Carly tells her to cry as much as she needs, then move forward instead of fixating on Oscar's decision to end things. Instead, Josslyn asks Cameron for insights, then says she wants to change Oscar's mind. Carly asks Kim if she can provide any explanation, and though Kim says she didn't know about the breakup, she offers that Oscar's going through something personal. Ryan is still bad at this, and Laura is still clueless about the fact that he's not Kevin. The only hint she has that something's weird is when Lulu tells her that he's been very open in discussing Ryan, something Kevin's never wanted to revisit with Laura. Felicia's uncomfortable with all the Ryan stories surrounding the 25th anniversary of his murder spree, and she's worried that reporters will bug Maxie. She turns to Ryan to discuss the situation, which, of course, is exactly what he wants. The second DNA test confirms that Sasha is Nina's daughter, but Curtis warns that they'll need to approach her cautiously, since she still thinks the woman who raised her was her birth mother. Carly brings up therapy with Ryan again, and he forgets to be compassionate when he tells her to stop talking about the mystery patient and Morse code.

Oscar's downward spiral

We really need more Kevin/Ryan scenes, because I'd like to figure out Ryan's motives. Obviously he's still obsessed with Felicia, so he probably wants to steal her from Mac, but why kill Laura or Lucy if they're not on to him (yet)?

I don't know, this Sasha thing feels off. It's so out of the blue.

Poor Carly. Her only options for therapists are a serial killer and a guy who messed with her best friend's life.

We've had Dante mentions two days in a row – does that mean they're actively looking for a recast?

October 4th, 2018

Ava and Carly haven't sparred for a while, so it's time for a fight. Ava thinks Jason should be grateful to her because she helped him escape Russia. He points out that she only gave him a paper clip, he repaid her already by helping her get her face fixed, and they'll never be even because of what she did to Morgan. Then Carly tells Ava that one day she'll make sure Avery knows exactly what her mother did to her brother. Ava goes to Ryan for help dealing with her rage toward Kiki and Griffin, and is surprised when he doesn't try to talk her out of wanting revenge. Nina's hesitant to get in touch with Sasha, telling Maxie that she doesn't want to disrupt Sasha's life. Maxie guesses that she's just afraid of being rejected. Nina asks Peter ("for a friend") for his opinion, and he says that if a parent wants to offer a child love, the child should be able to decide whether or not to accept it. Someone gave Nina Sasha's phone number, so she leaves her daughter a message. Griffin and Peter talk about...I don't know, it wasn't important. It was really just a way to kill time before Kiki and Griffin can talk about their night together, and how she chose to be with him, so he shouldn't be apologetic. Also, she still wants to be with him, and he doesn't seem to feel differently, since he doesn't object to a makeout session. It's Morgan Family Togetherness Time, and Danny's asking the important questions: Does Daddy love Mommy? Finn doesn't hate Gregory, and he's happy to help him figure out what's wrong with him, but he'd rather not spend any more time with him than necessary. Gregory thinks Finn should be able to forgive him for remarrying so quickly after Finn's mother's death since...Finn's with Anna now, and has moved on from Reiko? Somehow that makes sense to him. Finn disagrees, and Chase thinks there's something more going on there. Felicia thinks she and Ryan should release a statement to the press making it clear that Ryan shouldn't be made into a legend, and they don't want to be contacted. Ryan agrees, since it means he gets to spend more time with Felicia.

"Avery's in a meeting." That's adorable.

Ryan and Maxie are equally good at psychoanalysis. So that's weird.

Ava finally goes for much-needed therapy, and it's with a serial killer. Sounds about right for her.

Danny, for being a good little matchmaker, I'm buying you a pig. Kristina, what would you like?

October 5th, 2018

Sam and Jason agree to put together a Lego castle for Danny, and it's all a metaphor for their relationship and how well they work together. Then there's kissing, and I make noises only dogs can hear. Oscar doesn't see the point of optimism, so his downward spiral is coming along nicely. Drew and Kim encourage him to reach out to Josslyn instead of pushing away the people who love him. Josslyn enlists Cameron to help her get back with Oscar, but he thinks she should just accept the breakup. He confronts Oscar and tells him to let Josslyn know what's going on since she doesn't buy that he would break up with her out of nowhere. Instead, Oscar blocks her on social media and changes his status to single. Maxie has basically forgiven Peter and is even willing to let him spend time with James. She even gets him to open up about his panic attack in the elevator, which was partly from Obrecht-related PTSD and partly because Faison was a horrible person. Kiki and Griffin want to make sure they're approaching whatever they have in the right way, so they're going to date instead of just jumping back into bed together. Aiden fakes a stomachache to get out of school, or maybe he isn't faking, but really, does anyone care about Aiden?

I know that on Monday, something or someone will inevitably interrupt Sam and Jason, or she'll get cold feet, but I'll enjoy whatever I can get.

I'm telling you, Danny arranged for Jason to spend time with Sam because he wants them back together. Yes, I know he's only six. He's crafty.

People keep using the word "miracle" in relation to Oscar's plot, so I think it's safe to assume that's what will eventually happen.

Dang, who ever expected Maxie to be described as compassionate?

October 8th, 2018

The Corinthoses have a memorial for Morgan. As Mike tells Sonny that the gun will never be found, Jordan tells Margaux that she's classifying Marino's murder as a cold case. Margaux responds by ambushing Sonny and Carly at Morgan's grave. Nina tells Lulu about Sasha as she worries that Sasha's failure to call her back means she doesn't want to have anything to do with Nina. Lulu can sympathize, since she went through something similar with Charlotte, but she thinks Sasha will be able to tell from Nina's voicemail message that Nina loves her. As Nina gets more and more worried, Sasha finally calls. Sam and Jason are about to get down to it when Alexis interrupts. She thinks she did her daughter a favor, since a Sam/Jason reunion would be a horrible idea, and surely Sam can see that. Sam tells her to stay out of it because it's her decision to make, and she'll handle whatever consequences come. After Morgan's memorial, Jason takes Sam home, and she asks him to stay. Kiki runs into Ava at Morgan's grave and forces her to leave, disagreeing that Ava really loved him. Julian tries to keep the peace, but Kiki tells him that now that she knows who her mother really is, she'll never believe her promises again. Ava's first plan for revenge is to write Kiki out of her will, so she turns to Alexis for help. Alexis won't give it, since she was just Kiki's lawyer, but she provides some free advice: Don't do anything that will cause a permanent rift. Ava, of course, ignores her and decides to make Kiki a pariah. Laura corners Valentin on the docks and assures him that she hasn't forgotten what he did to Nikolas. He thinks she should be like Lulu and call a truce so they can peacefully co-exist for Charlotte's sake. Laura cautions that winter is coming, and it's bound to be pretty cold all alone on Spoon Island. Alexis got Natasha's watch fixed, but it stops again at the same time it did before, 10:10.

Are they going to do a memorial for Morgan every year until the end of time? He's already gotten more than we ever saw for Nikolas.

Jordan made a good point without even realizing it – Marino wasn't killed in her jurisdiction.

I love that everyone automatically assumes that Valentin lied about Sasha.

Thanks a lot, Alexis! Eh, whatever. They'll do it eventually. Maybe even tomorrow!

Ava has such a victim complex, you'd think she was a man accused of sexual harassment.

So we have Alexis' watch acting weird, and Laura practically cursing Valentin. Is something wicked this way coming?

October 9th, 2018

Oscar overhears Kim telling Drew that if Oscar won't agree to the drug trial, she'll force him to participate. While Kim tells Terry the same thing, Oscar asks Alexis about the medical rights of minors, allegedly for a school project. She tells him that if the parents don't have the child's best interests in mind, there are options the child has to control his or her own life. Margaux is burying her father right near Morgan's grave, which makes Carly furious. She taunts that Margaux will never be able to touch Sonny, though Margaux disagrees. She calls Drew, wanting to start over, and asks him to meet up so she can make him an offer. Sam doesn't want to continue the makeout/almost-sex session from earlier in the day, but this is definitely a "not right now" situation, not a "never going to happen" situation. Jason gets it and is willing to wait until she's ready to officially rekindle things. Drew comes by to talk and realizes that phoning ahead is never a bad idea. Sam wants everything out on the table and tells him that a) Jason knows about Oscar's illness and b) was the one who convinced him to contact Kim and Drew after he ran away. She later tells Jason that she still feels compelled to offer Drew help when he needs it, but she knows she needs to sit back and wait for him to extend an invitation. Josslyn runs into Oscar, thinking he got a text message from her asking to meet. She tells him how difficult her day was because of Morgan's memorial, and how much she needs him, but Oscar won't budge on his decision to break up. He even tells her he's going off to meet someone else, and that he never loved her. Josslyn's smart enough to get that he's hiding something from her, so she goes to Kim for details, but Kim will only lend a sympathetic ear. Laura catches up with Alexis, and there's more talk of Natasha's watch. Laura then catches up with Elizabeth, lamenting that Kevin has seemed distant recently.

So does Kim plan to strap Oscar down and force him to receive an injection or take a pill or something? She's gone off the rails.

Sam, no! Don't get involved in Drew/Jason stuff!

Thanks for mentioning Nelle, Carly and Josslyn. You've Beetlejuiced her into returning.

Alexis: "Kevin's been a little busy, huh?" Laura: "Insanely." Me: (cough).

I assume 10:10 means something big will happen on October 10th (which will actually be the 11th because of the preemption)?

October 10th, 2018

Margaux begs Drew for one of Jason's memories so she can bring down him and Sonny. After 45 minutes of that not working, she finally reveals that she has the flash drive and will trade it for Drew's help. Carly sees Drew and Margaux together and easily guesses that she's going to try to use him to take down Sonny and Jason. Jason isn't worried, since anything Drew might tell her wouldn't be admissible in court, and there's probably no evidence to back it up anyway. Josslyn refuses to give up on Oscar, worried about what's hurting him so much that he's pushing her away. Cameron tells Oscar about the damage he's caused, but Oscar wants her at a distance so she won't mourn as much when he dies. He gets Cam to help him with one last attempt at convincing her the breakup is real, agreeing to come clean if it doesn't work. The attempt involves a photoshopped picture of Oscar with another girl, and it sure looks like it was successful. Kim tells Oscar straight out that if she has to, she'll force him to undergo whatever treatment she decides is appropriate. She starts realizing that she's made some bad decisions, and tells Elizabeth she especially feels bad that they've led to a rift between Oscar and Drew. Elizabeth encourages Kim to lean on Julian, who's still willing to give her support even without knowing what's going on. He also urges Oscar not to burn bridges with his loved ones, like Julian has. Finn diagnoses Gregory and tells him to go back to California for treatment. Gregory's mad that Finn still won't get past his hatred of his stepmother. There's still no explanation of what all is going on there, but at least Chase is there to make me happy. Jason has already started the ball rolling on his Margaux plan, though of course there's no guarantee that she'll actually back off. He warns Sonny that they need to view her as a threat. Carly, Mike, and Stella tour a day facility for Mike.

If Carly thought Drew and Margaux were "cozy," she wasn't paying attention.

Jason's plan to make Margaux back off is very unlike him. It's quite Carly-ish, though.

Excuse me, did Kim say that Oscar asked her not to tell Julian anything? That's so not true.

Is there a reason Gregory never uses his wife's name? It's weird.

October 11th, 2018

Laura's still confused about Ryan's behavior, but she and Felicia think he's just trying to help others through their Ryan-related feelings while ignoring his own. Nina meets Sasha, and they hit it off pretty well, but...I don't know, guys. Drew responds to Margaux's offer in exactly the opposite of the way she expected: He says she's no better than the criminals she prosecutes and tells her to go to Hell. Lulu's having a rough time without Dante, and she confides in Peter, who invites her to a film festival to get her mind off of it. Maxie's disappointed since she was about to invite him to the same festival. Ava sees Kiki and Griffin hanging out together and throws a hissyfit to Scott about how she's a victim, blah blah blah. He tells her to cut it out, since her reactions are probably just making them want to be together even more. Ryan invites Ava to a therapy session and again doesn't try to talk her out of any plans she might formulate for revenge. Ava thinks that means he's advocating her murdering her daughter. She at least realizes that's insane and knows she would never do it, but I really think Ryan's all, "Murder buddy! Come play with me!"

Kevin is going to flip when he finds out how long Ryan was able to impersonate him without anyone catching on.

You can tell Ryan's a psychopath because he eats pastries with a knife and fork. And you can tell Ava's a psychopath because she didn't recycle her newspaper and she thinks her psychiatrist was encouraging her to kill her own daughter.

This Sasha thing still feels off, but I don't know how it could be wrong, unless the DNA tests were both altered.

I can't believe I've spent all this time missing the opportunity to call the flash drive a literal memory stick.

So much for my something-wicked-is-coming-on-October-10th theory. Though if the watch had stopped at 10:11, it could have been referring to Nelle.

October 12th, 2018

Nelle's trial is beginning, which means Michael and Carly will have to relive everything she put them through. She jabs at Michael by bringing up Jonah, and when Michael reiterates that he wants nothing to do with her, she tells him she still has a secret to reveal. He figures she's just going to tell more lies, so he doesn't want to hear it. Chase arrives and taunts that Nelle's going down, so I doubt she's going to do anyone any favors now. Then Brad shows up with Jonah, because why not? Two things Sasha doesn't have: the other half of the necklace and a desire to have a relationship with Nina. Nina practically begs her to stick around for a little while so they can at least talk more, but Sasha isn't very invested. Kristina's quarter-life crisis continues, but at least she has Valerie to talk to. Curtis warns Valentin not to try to collect on the good deed he's done Nina. Jordan clears the air with Valerie over Curtis and the way she handled her affair with Dante (which is kind of pointless at this late of date, but still nice of her). I seriously don't have the energy to care about what's going on with Aiden.

Unless Nelle's trial somehow leads to a revelation about Jonah, it's probably going to be a waste of time.

So Sasha has no questions about the circumstances of her conception or her birth father or any other biological relatives? Sure.

Nina needs to talk to Lulu again about parenting someone who didn't know her mother wasn't her biological mother.

Why did Curtis and Valentin meet on the docks like they were doing something shady?

October 15th, 2018

Nelle accidentally draws suspicion by mentioning that she recognizes "Wiley," but she says that she has Internet access and has seen pictures. Then she announces that she's pleading no contest, so there won't be a trial. Carly's almost disappointed that she won't get to testify against Nelle, but this means the odds are pretty good that Carly and Michael will never have to see Nelle again. Nelle reminds Michael that they'll always have a connection, then tells Brad that there's always a chance she'll get out of prison early for good behavior, implying that if she does, she'll want her son back. Laura tries to arrange a romantic evening with Ryan, who comes up with an excuse and runs over to Ferncliff to taunt Kevin. Kevin thinks Ryan will trip himself up by not knowing something Kevin should know, and that at the very least, Laura will catch on. Ryan lets him know that she's back, and she's so far clueless, and also, he's totally going to sleep with her. Drew talks over Margaux's deal with (checks notes) Franco? Really? The big pro of accepting is that Drew will be able to give Oscar advice from his own life, but the cons probably outweigh that: He'd hurt a lot of people by turning on Sonny and Jason, and Oscar might look down on him for it. Elizabeth wants Sam to be available to help Drew through the Oscar stuff, which Sam says she's already made clear she's willing to do. When she mentions that Drew stopped by but changed his mind about chatting because Jason was there, Elizabeth gets all judgey about Sam going back to Jason so fast (it's been a year since he came back, but whatever, Elizabeth, go home to your serial killer/fake rapist). The two fight, and nothing really gets accomplished, but at least Sam doesn't say anything about never getting back together with Jason. Sonny and Jason think Marino was in deeper than he led on because he co-signed on a beach house with Scully. Now the two are interested in why Scully assigned Sonny to kill Marino, since Sonny was inexperienced and could have screwed it all up. I'm pretty sure at least 50 percent of the reason Lulu's happy that Laura's back in town is that now she has someone to complain to about Dante. Nelle thinks Chase has never dated since they were together because he'll never find someone like her. Chase, hilariously: "You promise?"

Carly and I finally have something in common: We both hope to never see Nelle again.

Drew, don't ask the serial killer what he would do in your shoes.

This Margaux plan isn't going to work. It's going to have the same effect as it would if Margaux showed Michael a bunch of dirt on Sonny.

Elizabeth to Sam: "Mind if I come in?" Me: "I mind. Do I get a vote?"

October 16th, 2018

Spencer shows up in town unexpectedly because Laura hasn't stopped taking his word that he's going to stop doing dumb things. Ryan uses his visit as another excuse not to sleep with Laura. Ava thinks she should leave town for a while and wait for her anger toward Kiki to fade, an idea I give a hearty two thumbs up. Ryan encourages her to stay, possibly because he wants to nail her. She's in a good mood until Spencer tracks her down and blasts her again for trading justice for beauty when she turned her back on Nikolas. Maxie and Nina are both concerned about Lulu and Peter's sudden friendship, Nina because it's weird and Maxie because she's totally jealous. Jason and Drew both hate that Monica will lose another loved one if Oscar dies. Jason spends some time with his mother, who asks him to get to know Oscar better so that if he does die, they'll be able to share their memories of him. Drew changes his mind about getting support from Sam, who wants him to focus on spending all the time he can with Oscar, and not trying to get through the difficult stuff by himself. Kiki and Griffin forget about the taking-things-slowly idea and have sex.

They're kidding if they think I'll believe that Laura doesn't have a better leash on Spencer by now.

I wish Spencer had caught on to Ryan a la Emma busting Alex when she was pretending to be Anna.

I'm surprised Ryan didn't just drug Laura's wine.

I guess we're done with Peter's redemption arc, huh?

October 17th, 2018

Valentin catches Sasha trying to leave town without seeing Nina again and manages to talk her into sticking around a little longer. Nina tells Sasha about some other family members (Kiki, Nathan, Maxie, James), and suddenly Sasha's more interested in her family tree. She tells Nina that the way Valentin talked about her made her want to know her mother more. Cameron's done with Oscar's attitude and treatment of Josslyn (join the club, buddy). Spencer urges Josslyn to stop trying to text birthday messages to Oscar and just move on. Josslyn takes this advice differently than intended and decides she needs to fake a relationship with Cam to win Oscar back. Thanks to a picture in The Invader's gossip column, the big story opening a new day in Port Charles is that Peter and Lulu went to the film festival together. Laura and Maxie question the nature of their friendship, and Laura even thinks Lulu might be trying to make Dante jealous. Drew asks Peter if restoring his memories would mean wiping out the ones he's made in the past five years. Peter thinks so, which means Drew will have to choose between restoring what he's forgotten and forgetting the people he's grown to love. He tells Sonny that Margaux's trying to use him against Sonny and Jason, but he doesn't plan to betray their mutual loved ones. Sonny's fine with Margaux coming after him and just hopes that Drew doesn't let her drag him along. Valentin notes that Peter's getting a second chance in town, and Peter thinks he's jealous since mostly everyone still hates him. Valentin thinks he still has a chance with Nina, somehow.

I almost liked Cam today, what with him telling Oscar that having a brain tumor is no excuse for being a jerk.

Josslyn, hon, I love you, but you have to learn to take a hint.

Can we please stop pretending Peter is just a victim?

Pretty bold of Peter's gossip columnist to publish his picture in the column without consulting him.

October 18th, 2018

Oscar asks Kim to let him make his own decisions about his treatment, but Kim wants to take the risk of the drug trial, thinking it could help him. Oscar responds by meeting with Alexis again to discuss getting emancipated so he can be in control of his medical decisions. Alexis practically begs him not to take things that far, thinking counseling is the best way for him to work things out with his parents. Cameron accidentally talks Josslyn out of faking a relationship, then talks her back into it. Alexis and Julian chat about Oscar and Kim, and for some reason Alexis mentions that he asked her some questions about minors' rights. Julian is smarter than he looks and has put together that Oscar must have some serious illness. Jordan and Curtis were supposed to get married at the Metro Court, but scheduling errors force them to change their plans. Olivia successfully talks them into having their reception on the Haunted Star. Aiden's issues: still unidentified. My level of interest: still nonexistent.Bobbie and Carly are interested in why Kim seemed so effected to learn of B.J.'s death, and why Oscar and Alexis are having secret conversations.

I can't wait to see Carly and Elizabeth's reactions to Cam and Josslyn's "relationship."

Cam, re: Spencer: "That guy is just a supervillain waiting to happen." HAAAAAAA!

That awkward moment when you have to tell your son's boss that you screwed up her wedding arrangements.

People still think the sandwich paintings were Franco's? I thought that all got cleared up.

Did any kids go to school today?

October 19th, 2018

Drew considers turning Margaux in to the police for her flash-drive shenanigans, but she basically thinks like a criminal and tells him he has no chance of making any charges stick. He tells her he's not going to help her, and he doesn't want the flash drive because he's not going to wipe out his memories from the past five years. Margaux decides to hold on to it in case he ever changes his mind. Spinelli goes on vacation and hands the Marino investigation over to Sam, who's smart enough to know that he's giving her an excuse to spend time with Jason. Sam's frustrated that Spinelli won't stop matchmaking, and though she says she's not going to tell him to stop because she knows he won't listen, we all know it's because she agrees with him that she and Jason are meant to get back together. Some research into Marino's history makes Sonny and Jason think he was either getting deeper into the business, which is something they can tell Margaux, or was planning to turn on Scully, which is a motive for his murder. But when Sonny sees a picture of Margaux's mother, he gets a better idea of Scully's motive: He was having an affair with Margaux's mother. Michael admits to Stella that he hasn't gone to any grief-counseling sessions, but he seems to be handling things well anyway, since he's trying to focus on good things. While letting Peter hang out with James, Maxie thinks James has a rash and rushes him to the hospital. He's fine; it's just an excuse for Michael to spend time with a baby. Jordan feels bad that Stella won't be coming to the wedding, but Curtis has reached the point where he's going to let her do whatever he wants while he moves on with his life. T.J. thinks he can get Stella to change her mind, and though he doesn't really succeed, he guesses she'll eventually come around.

Margaux, if the flash drive is the only way you can bring down Sonny, you suck at your job. Also, please tell us again how your parents were happy, even though a) your mother was having an affair and b) you were two at the time, and there's no possible way you could remember that. Also also, I hope it turns out Scully was your real father, because HA.

Hearing Jason talk about cold showers is weird.

Do they keep giving Maxie and Michael scenes together because it allows him to interact with a baby, or because they're trying to see if they have chemistry?

I was expecting a medical crisis for James, where he needed a transplant and Obrecht was the only match. It would also explain why Britt is randomly making an appearance in a couple of weeks.

T.J., we need to talk about your mustache. It is...not good.

I'm sure everyone can't wait to hang out on a yacht in upstate New York in November. Sounds like a great time. Also, no one's mentioned that November 22nd is Thanksgiving. Who gets married on Thanksgiving? (Oh, wait, Dante and Lulu did.)

October 22nd, 2018

Ryan's still being distant, so when Laura runs into Scott, she jumps at the chance to go get a drink with him. Scott wonders if this is a reprisal of what happened a few years ago when Kevin put a patient before Lucy and wound up being cheated on. While looking for paper to write Ryan a note in his office, Laura finds a list of women's names, including Felicia's. Kim crashes Oscar and Drew's time together, and the three end up arguing again about Kim's insistence that Oscar participate in the drug trial. Oscar calls Drew a hypocrite for forcing him to have a medical treatment he doesn't want, since Drew was forced to do the same. Alexis has a session with Ryan and tells him about an argument she got into with Kristina. Ryan scrambles to come up with something psychology-ish and ends up helping Alexis make the insight that she sometimes wants to control her children because her father was so controlling. He also inadvertently helps her decide that Oscar deserves the chance to be in charge of his own life, so she's going to represent him in his bid for emancipation. Kristina makes one bad decision after another: First, she snipes at Alexis when she offers to help her get a job. Second, she calls Parker and realizes that Parker's moving on fine without her. Third, she swipes some alcohol from the pub and heads off to get drunk by herself. Josslyn's fake-boyfriend plan is working. Carly's now hesitant to put Mike in a full-time facility because of her horrible experiences at Ferncliff. Stella encourages her new idea to find a way to be an advocate for people with mental-health issues. There's some stuff about Mike and Sonny and a bike, but it's just another reminder that Mike wasn't a good father when Sonny was a kid.

I remember Kevin having some mystery patient a few years ago, but the storyline never went anywhere. I wonder if they intended for him to be Ryan at the time.

"It's a shame you never got to meet Ryan." Because Alexis has expressed an interest in being introduced to a serial killer? Seriously, Ryan, you suck that this.

Pretty arrogant of Scott to mention that Kevin's last marriage fell apart without pointing out that he was the person Lucy cheated on him with.

I don't appreciate his attitude, but Oscar does have a point about Drew.

October 23rd, 2018

Alexis advises Oscar to find a place to live and a way to support himself so he can show a judge he's independent enough to be emancipated. She also wants him to wait before he tells his parents his plans, but Oscar doesn't want to keep secrets like they do. He happily announces that he's divorcing his parents so he can have control of his medical decisions. Kim and Drew are angry, Kim so much so that she slaps Alexis for siding with Oscar. Elizabeth and Franco get her under control, then tell Drew that Alexis might try to talk Oscar out of his decision. Drew disagrees. Kim turns to Jason for help, hoping he has some kind of influence with Alexis, but there's no way that's going to go anywhere. Laura thinks Ryan should see a therapist to help him through his feelings surrounding the 25th anniversary. He considers stabbing her to speed up his plan to be with Felicia, but instead continues pretending everything's fine. Ned asks him not to do any interviews about the anniversary, not wanting to bring any more negative publicity to the town. Ryan thinks the press will do what they want anyway, so talking to them won't make a difference. Laura mentions that Ned's special mayoral term is almost up, but he seemingly hasn't launched a campaign for reelection. Ned's running unopposed, so Ryan suggests that Laura run against him, which would both distract her and give her something to do away from him. Unfortunately, it's too late for Laura to get her name on the ballot. Kiki meets Sasha and the two immediately hit it off. Ava's pleased to see that Sasha seems interested in Griffin, something she should be able to use against Kiki. Jason finds a day-drunk Kristina and takes her home so Sam can lecture her about making even more poor decisions than the ones she's already made. Kristina would rather discuss Sam and Jason's relationship, sing-song about how they should just get it on already, and yell that everyone's just waiting for them to get back together. Nina, please stop seeing Valentin as anything other than a sleazeball. Even a million dollars wouldn't make me care about what's going on with Aiden.

So Ryan did his homework about the election last year, but he doesn't know Steve Hardy's been dead almost 25 years. Moron.

Someone has to have manipulated the DNA test, because Sasha's birth mother is clearly Amanda Peet.

Kiki and Griffin, you don't have to talk to Ava when you run into her. Just ignore her like the tantrum-throwing child she is.

God bless you, drunk Kristina. Next round's on me.

Look at Jason, all pleased that Kristina thinks she's hot.

October 24th, 2018

Oscar spent the night on Cameron's floor, even though he's annoyed that Cam is spending so much time with Josslyn. He succeeds in completing Alexis' first task for independence by getting Julian to hire him as a busboy (though he'll have to go back to school). Kim tells Julian what Oscar didn't, about how this is part of his plan to get emancipated. Kim asks Sam to talk Alexis out of representing Oscar, but Sam agrees with her mother that Oscar deserves the chance to speak for himself. She reluctantly tells Kim that Julian might be able to help. Meanwhile, Drew complains about Alexis some more, this time to Diane, who plans to fight her BFF in court. Alexis admits that she kind of hopes she loses, but this is about giving Oscar choices instead of forcing him to do something life-altering. Laura decides to launch a write-in campaign, even if it means dirt is dug up on her loved ones. Carly tells her about her experiences at Ferncliff and the mystery patient who might not have deserved to be placed there. Laura wants to take on mental-health reform as a campaign issue, and asks Carly to go with her to visit Ferncliff. Carly tells Elizabeth that their kids are hanging out a lot, and she hopes they're both okay with it. Elizabeth questions Cameron about his friendship with Josslyn, hoping Oscar isn't getting hurt by it. Cam decides not to tell her that he knows about Oscar's illness, but he does tell her he loves her. Drew doesn't think he can take a couple hours out of his family drama to be Curtis' best man. There's something about Julian and Olivia and Leo, but whatever.

Come on, Oscar. You should have known Cam would swoop in on Josslyn.

Elizabeth used to let Lucky sleep on her bedroom floor, and now her son has let someone sleep on his floor without her knowing. I love it.

The next person who says Oscar's a child has to pay me $500. Like, we get it. Enough.

What is this, Neros Guilting Jeromes Into Helping Them Day?

October 25th, 2018

Spinelli (hi, Spinelli!) has discovered that Margaux's mother, Jeanette, never had her husband declared dead, even though, as a single mom, she could have benefited from his life-insurance payout. As soon as his remains were found, though, she filed to collect. Sounds to me like she was in on Scully's hit and didn't want anyone to investigate his disappearance. Jason, Sam, and Sonny think a conversation with her would be very illuminating. Oscar thinks Kim send Julian to try to talk sense into him, when really Julian wants to talk sense into Alexis. She tells him that she's not arguing for him to be able to refuse treatment, just to be able to decide on his own if he wants it. She would approach the case the same as she would if Oscar were a pregnant teen whose parents were trying to make her give up her child (you know, like Mikkos did with her). Alexis hopes she's just buying some time for Oscar to realize the drug trial is his best option. Sonny catches Margaux trying to buddy up to Kristina and puts a stop to it. Valentin helps Nina talk Sasha into staying in town a little longer. Maxie and Peter might as well just hook up already. Daisy offers Oscar a hippie-ish place to live and possibly asks Kristina out. Anna couldn't find Obrecht, so she comes home to hook up with Finn and recruit him as her partner when she goes back on the hunt.

Spinelli has to know that when (not if) Sam and Jason get back together, he'll be one of the first people they tell.

The only thing worse than Kristina's quarter-life crisis is her inability to shut up about how Alexis is handling it.

"I have to get home and get back to work." As a temp. You're a temp, Sasha. You don't have a job to get back to. If you don't want to stay in town, you don't have to, but don't make up dumb excuses.

"Has James decided on a costume?" Okay, that was cute.

Did Oscar just join a cult?

October 26th, 2018

On this episode of Undercover Shenanigans With Sam and Spinelli, the two pose as insurance agents to ask Jeanette questions about Marino's death. They tell her she can collect on his policy if she knows the exact month of his death, and she tells them that the night she last saw him, she knew he was walking into a dangerous situation. She never had him declared dead because she didn't want to have to explain to Margaux that her father was never coming back. The investigators don't learn much from the conversation, but Sam does find a stack of letters Scully sent Jeanette. Laura and Carly go to Ferncliff and run into Mary Pat, who I'm 95% sure knows about Ryan. Laura's going to be able to get access to the patients' rooms, so we can all hold out hope that she'll find Kevin, though it's inevitable that that won't happen. Ava introduces herself to Sasha and tells her that Kiki slept with Griffin while he was dating Ava. I guess this is her first attempt at getting revenge, somehow, but isn't Griffin just going to tell Sasha all that really happened? Anyway, Franco thinks Ava's benefiting from her sessions with Ryan and isn't going to do anything crazy, so I guess he doesn't know her as well as he thinks he does. Lulu and Ryan discuss the nature of evil, nature vs. nurture, psychopaths, and whether Ryan wanted to be cured. Franco and Elizabeth talk about Aiden, and I zone out.

Spinelli in glasses is a good look.

Wasn't Mary Pat fired months ago? Why is she just now getting her stuff from Ferncliff?

Laura's already better at political maneuvers than Ned is.

I don't know how to make the writers understand that I don't care about a vague storyline revolving around an eight-year-old who's only on four times a year.

October 29th, 2018

Carly and Laura peek into Kevin's room at Ferncliff but don't see him, since he's out of their sight line. They go to Carly's old room and she engages in some Morse code-knocking, but Kevin's drugged up and doesn't respond. Ryan stops Carly and Laura from entering his room and thinks he's succeeded in convincing them it's better for them not to go in. Carly tries to get access anyway, but Laura thinks they should obey Ryan's wishes. Meanwhile, Ryan meets up with Mary Pat, who definitely knows something. Sonny warns Michael that Margaux is trying to tie him to Marino's murder and isn't above bugging his family, including Mike. When Margaux tries to make nice with him, then brings up the fact that Sonny killed both of their fathers, Michael tells her to leave his family alone or face his (legal) retaliation. Sam and Jason read through Jeanette and Scully's letters, discussing how their kids should never be lied to about what their parents have done in the past. Though their intentions are to find a way to convince Margaux that her father was a bad guy, they wind up finding something against her other parent – proof that Jeanette asked Scully to get rid of Marino. Anna's next plan to draw out and take down Obrecht involves getting Britt out of prison and using her to get to her mother. Stella's now able to be civil toward Jordan, and she doesn't think Jordan will hurt Curtis, but she's still not going to the wedding.

I love that if Carly eventually stumbles across Kevin, it'll be because of her concern for someone she doesn't realize was Ryan. He'll have set the ball rolling to end his own scheme.

Really, Sam? You don't know why Margaux's chatting up Sonny's loved ones? Or who might be next? 'Cause it's not Avery.

Am I crazy or do Michael and Margaux kind of...have...chemistry? (Obviously that's never going to lead anywhere. Right?)

"Who doesn't like Emma??" Thank you, Finn.

October 30th, 2018

Mary Pat knows about Ryan, but she thinks each twin is where he's supposed to be. She blackmails Ryan into giving her money and getting her a job at GH, them indicates that she's not going to stop there. Threatening a serial killer is rarely a good idea, so that's probably going to end badly for her. Britt agrees to Anna's deal and is let out of Pentonville (with an ankle monitor) in exchange for her help drawing out Obrecht. She also demands a meal at the Floating Rib, which is where Lulu learns of her release and reacts by pouring a pitcher of something over her head. It's also where Britt and Peter meet for the first time. Anna asks Peter to keep the incident out of the paper, and keep Lulu in line; he'll be rewarded with an exclusive when Obrecht is finally behind bars. Sonny's not sure the new Margaux plan will work, or if it's even a good idea, since there could be another letter incriminating him, but he's going to give it a try. Michael isn't sure he's dealing with his grief in the right way, so he finally goes to the support group for grieving parents. Laura promises Carly that they'll ensure Ferncliff is operating appropriately, and what she went through there won't be for nothing. There's something about Chase and Willow (Charlotte and Aiden's teacher), and then she goes to the same support group as Michael, so I don't know where that's going.

Me when Ryan inevitably makes a move to kill Mary Pat.

Britt is awful, and she annoyed me the entire episode, but she has a point about Rocco's name. I kind of wish she'd said it to Lulu's face.

You just know Britt thinks she's Badison from Orange Is the New Black.

Imagine Margaux trying to use Avery to get to Sonny.
Margaux: "Has your daddy ever killed anyone?"
Avery: "We're going to the zoo!"
Margaux: "Avery, do you know where any bodies are buried?"
Avery: "My name is spelled A-V-E-R-Y."
Margaux: "Do you have any useful information for me?"
Avery: "Can you open this box of animal crackers?"

October 31st, 2018

Ryan takes advantage of a fundraiser Mac and Felicia are throwing for Laura to spend time with Felicia. He's disappointed to learn that she's happy giving up a life of adventure for one as a grandma. But I think he wants to hook up with Ava, so I guess he's already moved on. Sam and Jason hang out with Jake and Danny, reminisce, snuggle, and almost kiss. Sasha meets Charlotte, which is really just a way for Nina and Valentin to end up stranded together on Spoon Island during a rainstorm. Maxie spends Halloween/her birthday with Peter, so yeah, I think they're going to end up together. I still don't get how Ava thinks she's using Sasha for revenge. New rule: No one's allowed to talk about Aiden's problems without advancing the plot.

A completely last-minute fundraiser on Halloween? Great idea, Felicia!

Jason's never carved a pumpkin? Not even with, say, Carly's kids?

Sam conveniently forgot about the Halloween when she was with Patrick, and Danny dressed as a doctor.

You don't dress a toddler as something as random as a goat without showing us!

Kiki, of all the Jeromes to wear devil's horns, you have the least reason. (Well, besides Avery and Leo.)

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