General Hospital blog - September, 2009

September 1st, 2009

Sam delivers Kristina back to Alexis, who thinks it's better to continue to take the blame for the accident than let it fall on Kristina. Sam firmly disagrees and warns Alexis that one day Kristina will get into trouble that Alexis can't get her out of. Kristina goes to Sonny to apologize, and as Claudia eavesdrops, Sonny tells her that he doesn't blame her. Jason tells Sonny about Jerry's appearance in Mexico, reporting that he wouldn't give up Claudia even though he thought Jason would die before being able to tell anyone. Jason still doesn't think he was telling the truth, but Sonny chooses to believe he was. Michael agrees to move back in with Carly, Jax, and Morgan, and Carly tells him that his running away showed her how independent he can be. Michael tells Jax about the run-in with Jerry, and Jax reveals that once the baby's born, he plans to tell Carly everything, including some things Michael doesn't know about...but may soon, as he remembers Jax apologizing to him about something while he was comatose. Andrea learns that Edward saw her at the Metro Court the day Brianna died. She spots him talking to Patrick later and swipes some digitalis. Spinelli and Maxie are gleeful after catching Jason and Sam kissing.

So Kristina's going to be punished somehow, right? I mean, they're not just going to let this go and not give her any consequences? You guys, I'm scared - I'm taking Sam's side in an argument with Alexis. That's not right.

Speaking of Sam, I think I've mentioned before that I like it when they remind us that she lost a baby. She didn't directly address it when she was talking to Alexis about Kristina causing Claudia's baby's death, but I felt like that was her frame of reference for the situation, and I appreciated it.

How many more secrets is Jax going to be let in on? Does he know about the secret relationship I'm still convince Bobbie and Mike are carrying on behind everyone's backs?

Andrea's going to try to kill Edward just because he saw her in at the hotel? She really is evil. I bet she'd kill a puppy if it got her husband reelected. Also, am I crazy or have they done something with digitalis before?

Today's MOTEs go to Bradford Anderson (Spinelli) for his excited, childlike applause upon catching Jason and Sam together, and the Jason dummy, just because. Hee hee hee.

September 2nd, 2009

There's a carnival planned to benefit Michael's foundation, and everyone is talking about it. (Seriously, everyone.) Sonny dismisses Kristina's issues and gives her money to make her feel better. Claudia also assures Kristina that things are fine. Dante convinces Michael to let him guard him and Morgan. Jason reluctantly agrees to be Spinelli's best man. Andrea spells things out for the slower members of the audience - she's going to drug Edward and make it look like he died of a heart attack. Maxie is thrilled to hear from Sam that she and Jason had a better-than-wonderful reunion and convinces Jason to ask Sam to go to the carnival with him. Nikolas tells Alfred that he plans to turn Rebecca into an Emily clone to make her think she can replace Emily.

Have you heard? There's a carnival tomorrow! What, a carnival? I hadn't heard about any carnival. Why didn't anyone tell me there was a carnival? Hey, writers, you know how you could avoid having to have all your characters discuss the carnival 20 times in one episode (and I don't think that's an exaggeration)? Mention it earlier than the day before it takes place. I'm sure the writers are lovely people, but how in the world did they win an Emmy?

I'm sure Sam will never question why Jason a) called to ask her out to b) a carnival, a place he would never be caught dead. Five bucks says they get stuck at the top of the Ferris wheel together.

I'm not quite clear on what Andrea's planning here. Maybe if all of the characters spend an episode talking about digitalis, it'll sink in.

Nikolas was really going to go to the carnival without Spencer? Worst father ever. I wonder how many times a week the writers lament ever writing Spencer in.

September 3rd, 2009

Andrea slips digitalis into Edward's drink but he becomes flustered when he spots someone named Deidre and spills it. Having found out that Edward was at the hotel when Brianna died, Robin suspects that he was with Deidre (obviously a secret romantic partner, and most likely the same Deidre whose real estate business partner has hired Sam and Spinelli to investigate her). Spinelli confesses to Maxie that he's afraid of clowns, so she gets him to dress up like one to overcome his fear. Instead it just gives him a sense of foreboding about the carnival. He's probably right that something bad will happen, between Andrea's murderous plans and Zacchara telling an unseen man that he's sending a surprise to the event. Sam tries to give Jason an out from his carnival invitation, even using a job assignment as an excuse not to be able to go. Carly spots the two of them together and quickly figures out that they've slept together and may be getting back together. Jason admits to Sam that he wants to go to the carnival with her. Dante asks Lulu to go to the carnival with him, and seconds after she blows him off, Matt asks her the same thing. Lulu accepts Matt's offer, mostly to make Dante leave her alone, but later she can't help telling Carly and Olivia that she's kind of intrigued by him. Olivia lectures Dante about leaving Lulu alone, but she's obviously projecting her feelings about Sonny. Nikolas buys Rebecca a dress identical to one Emily owned and encourages her to wear it to the carnival and eventually dye her hair back to its original color. Elizabeth recognizes the dress and lets Nikolas know that she's on to his plan but doesn't think he should see it through. Alexis forbids Michael and Kristina from spending time alone together. Kiefer tells Kristina that she's all he thinks about.

I don't get why Spinelli dressing like a clown will help him overcome his fear of clowns. They don't make people who are afraid of flying dress up like airplanes. I'm guessing someone (Zacchara's mystery conversation partner?) will dress up like a clown and get murdered, and people will think it's Spinelli.

I wonder if there's a specific reason they didn't show us the face of the person Zacchara was talking to, other than that it's a random flunky. Basically, I'm wondering if it's someone we know. Jerry, maybe?

Wow, a Jimmy Lee Holt reference? That's continuity beyond continuity.

Today's MOTE goes to Laura Wright (Carly) for the look on her face while Olivia was lecturing Dante.

September 4th, 2009

The carnival begins and nothing seems to be out of the ordinary, since no one knows that Zacchara is planning some sort of invasion, as well as possibly an attack on the Corinthos faction. Andrea's second effort to drug Edward is thwarted by Monica, but the third appears to be successful. A fortuneteller warns Kristina that she's in danger from an unlikely source. Claudia catches Kristina and Kiefer kissing and encourages Kristina to confide in her, inviting her for a ride in the Ferris wheel. Sam and Jason stake out Deidre's room at the Metro Court together, discovering that she's in lingerie and waiting for a romantic visitor. Nikolas uses a carnival game with baseballs to take out some aggression on Ethan. Molly uses physics to master the dunk tank and soak Patrick, Ethan, Johnny, and Dante. Max thinks Diane is embarrassed to be seen in public with him and vows to cut her off in terms of boy-toy activities.

If we're looking for unlikely sources of danger towards Kristina, I'm going to have to go with Molly.

So I guess it's a pretty safe bet that Edward will have a heart attack in/outside Deidre's room and Sam and Jason will save him, while trying not to be grossed out by the thought of what he's there to do. Also, I'm pretty sure the names of Deidre and her business partner are a nod to Days of Our Lives - Deidre Evans refers to Marlena Evans, played by Deidre Hall, and Drake Black refers to John Black, played by Drake Hogestyn. Very clever.

Darn it, that's not Jerry with Zacchara. Oh, well.

Andrea's taunt about whether or not Mac and Alexis are sleeping together was foreshadowing, right? Please?

Thanks for showing up for one scene and getting dunked, Johnny.

Two MOTEs today: one to Jason Thompson (Patrick) for the way he taunted Max at the dunk tank, and one to Kelly Monaco (Sam) for her little victory gestures after seeing Deidre in lingerie.

September 5th, 2009

Next week: Robin's sleuthing might actually pay off, Edward puts people in danger, and someone else finds out Olivia's secret. (No, I'm not sure which secret.)


I totally forgot that the person who finds out Olivia's secret already knows half of it, and now he/she will learn the other half. So that might narrow it down, if anyone else actually remembers this person finding out the secret, since it was just about a year ago and I don't think he/she has ever mentioned it since then. And now I've made it even more confusing, haven't I?

September 8th, 2009

Andrea successfully drugs Edward just before Robin and Patrick announce that they know he was at the Metro Court and saw Andrea around the time of Brianna's death. Edward doesn't want to admit to his romantic rendezvous and refuses to testify against Andrea. He then heads to the carnival, experiencing heart trouble along the way, losing consciousness, and plowing through the fairgrounds. Lulu and Dante do some more flirting, but their date is cut short when Dante is summoned for warehouse duty. Johnny sees how much fun they're having together and offers to take Dante's place. At the same time, Spinelli offers to deliver papers to a warehouse. Zacchara sends men to the same warehouse, planning a major coup while everyone's at the carnival and instructing the men to take out anyone they run into, especially Dante. Claudia keeps trying to get Kristina alone in high places, but the best she can do is get her into some ride with Molly. The fortuneteller tells Michael that he's gifted (psychic, apparently) and should steel himself for some not-so-fun times. She also tells Lulu that she wants love, then interrupts herself to warn, "Something wicked this way comes." Spinelli bugs Deidre's phone, which lets Sam know that her secret romantic visitor is Edward. She and Jason quickly decide to ditch their stakeout and go to the carnival instead. Sonny and Olivia, sitting in a tree. Nikolas tells Ethan his plans for Rebecca, hoping that Ethan will spill to Rebecca, she won't believe him, and she'll be even more loyal to Nikolas.

What was up with the editing today? People kept showing up in different places with different combinations of people (specifically the Corinthos/Lansing kids) with no explanation, or disappearing altogether, then reappearing randomly (Jax). Then suddenly Elizabeth, Lucky, and Jake show up at the end - without Cameron, mind you - and at the very last second we see Max talking to Louise. Huh? I feel like there were other scenes that we didn't get to see. Not to mention that there were commercials showing Carly going to see the fortuneteller (though those were edited in a manipulative way - they would show the fortuneteller clearly talking to Kristina, then switch the angle to show Carly). They also should have moved that scene with Zacchara pretty much putting out a hit on Dante to before the scene where Dante was summoned for warehouse duty. Though that might have made it look like Bernie's evil. Still, that was a very weird episode, editing-wise.

Also, who in the world picked a Phil Collins song for that montage?

So Michael woke up from a head injury with psychic abilities he has yet to demonstrate? Am I seriously the only person who remembers Chloe?

Hey, Elizabeth? Go after your darn kid. Don't look at Jason like you're expecting him to do it. Though we all know he will.

Today's MOTE goes to the unnamed extra behind Andrea and Alexis when the former grabbed the latter's arm at the carnival. He did a very good job at showing fake surprise. Here's hoping you get a SAG card, unnamed extra!

September 9th, 2009

Dante saves Morgan from being run over but is seriously injured himself. Olivia freaks out, of course, and Jax warns her to keep herself in control so Sonny doesn't figure anything out. Sonny just thinks "Dominic" reminds Olivia of Dante and her maternal instincts are kicking in. Johnny saves Spinelli from his father's shooters but takes a bullet himself. Spinelli tries to get him to the hospital but the carnival fiasco makes it difficult. Lulu tries to calm Molly as she and Alexis panic over not knowing where Kristina is. Claudia's actually shaken by Kristina's disappearance, so maybe now she won't want to kill her. The accident kills Andrea, which Mac finds ironic, since her husband's mistress died not that long ago. Jake has a head injury, and all of his parents are freaking out. Jason and Elizabeth turn to each other for comfort, but ultimately Jason would rather have it come from Sam. With Monica out of town and Tracy and Jason incommunicado, Rebecca is left to make medical decisions for Edward. She also decides to call him Grandfather. Her compassion might help endear her to Nikolas. Max protects Louise but may have suffered a spinal injury in return.

Even with all this crazy stuff going on, they had a two- or three-minute replay of the accident, a two- or three-minute music video (or whatever the heck that was with Jason walking through the fairgrounds), and a two-minute commercial at the end of the episode. And yet we only got about a minute's worth of discussion about Max. Again, bad editing.

Wow, they really got almost every main character involved in either the carnival plot or the warehouse shooting. Impressive.

Do Lulu and Molly even know each other? Why did we have to watch five scenes with them together?

I kind of love how everyone's going, "Monica's out of town, we can't reach Tracy, and no one knows where Jason is!" He's around the corner, morons.

'Bye, Andrea! Sorry you didn't get to do more. Or have any redeeming qualities. Or make any kind of impact so that I'll have a chance of remembering you six months from now.

September 10th, 2009

As Mac investigates the cause of Edward's accident, Robin finds digitalis in Andrea's purse. Jason suspects that Edward was driving drunk and finds it ironic that his grandfather almost killed his son. Edward awakens to hear Rebecca and Jason discussing the accident and asks what he did. Rebecca and Ethan fill him in and Mac arrives to question Edward, who promises that he wasn't driving drunk. Robin gives him the good news and the bad news - he wasn't drunk, but someone tried to kill him. Sonny wants to get in touch with Dante's mother in case he needs a kidney transplant, and Olivia is unable to deter him. She tells Dante that she's going to make sure he's okay even if it means coming clean about his maternity. Patrick overhears them talking and learns that Dominic is really Dante (whose paternity he already knows). As he tells Dante that his mother is going to need to come clean with his father, Olivia decides that God wants her to tell Sonny that Dante's his son. Claudia goes to the hospital, unable to find Kristina, but Michael picks up where she left off and keeps looking. He also remembers Claudia apologizing to him while he was comatose. Michael finds Kristina and is suspicious that Claudia couldn't, since Kristina was awake when he found her and Claudia claims she must have been unconscious. Kristina remembers seeing Claudia walking by the ride she was trapped under but doesn't remember her saying anything. Jake's okay, but Elizabeth still gets some comfort from Nikolas in the form of kissing, which Jason sees. Lulu agrees to go out with Dante when he's better. Max wakes up but once again only gets one scene, so nothing happens there.

I'd totally forgotten until earlier this week that about a year ago, Kate told Patrick that Olivia had a son with Sonny. Patrick just didn't know until now that "Dominic" was that son. I'm not sure what the point of him finding out is, since I doubt he's going to tell anyone, but whatever, it adds something else to the story.

Speaking of things I don't get the point of, do Michael and Kristina think that Claudia left Kristina to die? And why did they throw that memory in there? Odd.

Yay, Robin's sleuthing finally paid off!

Again, Max gets one scene? And Diane is MIA? Do the writers hate him or something?

September 11th, 2009

Olivia chickens out of telling Sonny that he's Dante's father, leaving Sonny free to bond with Dante without knowing about their connection. Patrick confronts Olivia with his knowledge of her secrets and encourages her to come clean in case Dante needs a kidney transplant. She promises that she will if the necessity arises. Elizabeth decides once again that she and Nikolas need to cut it out. The accident has made Lucky realize that he wants to hold onto his family, so he proposes to Elizabeth. Michael has another coma memory, this one of Jax apologizing to him and saying that he and Jerry are both to blame for his condition. For some reason, he decides to call Sam for help in figuring out what it means. Robin tells Edward and Mac everything she's learned from her investigations, and everyone agrees that Andrea killed Brianna and tried to kill Edward. Edward's relieved that the accident wasn't his fault, but he still feels guilty. Jason takes off before Nikolas and Elizabeth can see him, then goes to Sam's apartment and tells her that he doesn't care who Elizabeth dates, he's just worried that she and Lucky will have a custody battle over Jake. Kiefer gets Kristina a new phone so he can be in contact with her all the time and be controlling and even creepier than he already is. Ethan still wants Rebecca to leave Nikolas.

Once again, the editing in this episode makes no sense. Michael and Jax show up at minute 45, Johnny is still nowhere to be seen, and Max gets no mention at all. Writers, please get it together.

Something else that makes no sense: why Michael would call Sam, of all people, to help him figure out his memory. He barely knows her, she's had nothing to do with his storyline, and she would have no reason to know why Jax said what he said. Seriously, writers, GET IT TOGETHER.

Poor blind Lucky. This is painful to watch.

Why is Mac telling Edward that he'll be exonerated of the charges against him when he was never charged with anything? You know who Mac should tell? ALEXIS. He should also make out with her. (What?)

Kiefer, if you're going to be controlling and abusive towards someone, at least pick a girl who isn't a mobster's kid. You're asking for whatever comes your way.

Dead: Andrea Floyd
Injured (hospitalized): Dante Falconeri, Max Giambetti, Edward Quartermaine, Jake Spencer
Injured (not hospitalized): Johnny Zacchara

September 12th, 2009

Next week: Michael confronts Jax, Olivia tries to turn Johnny against Dante (I guess Johnny didn't bleed to death, then), and Elizabeth makes me yell even more.

September 14th, 2009

Johnny's in critical condition, which makes Claudia snap and threaten to hurt pretty much everyone in the world if he dies. Fortunately, she'll be starting with her father. Johnny asks Spinelli to make sure Jason protects Olivia from Claudia if he dies, which makes Jason wonder why Johnny considers Claudia a threat. Ronnie thinks that Dante can use his accident to his advantage, since he and Sonny have connected. Dante admits to Olivia that he's starting to like Sonny and it's going to be harder to bring him down. He also can't just cast Johnny aside and protect him over the other mob minions. Elizabeth stalls with Lucky and goes to Nikolas to discuss the marriage proposal. She's considering accepting just because Lucky loves her and she wants him to be happy, even though she admittedly doesn't love him the same way. She admits to having feelings for Nikolas, which inspires another make-out session. Jason forbids Spinelli from doing any more organization-related tasks because he doesn't want to lose his pseudo-brother. Michael tells Sam that Jax said something about being involved in his shooting. Ethan appeals to Lucky to stop Nikolas from destroying Rebecca, but Lucky won't bite.

Once again, crappy editing today. Suddenly Sonny's not there in the scene with Olivia, Patrick, and Dante; Johnny's made it to the hospital with no explanation; and Sam and Michael have two scenes and then disappear for the rest of the episode. What's going on?

This meeting of the We Hate Elizabeth Club will now come to order. And will probably remain in session for the rest of the week.

I think I speak for everyone when I say, yay, Claudia's actually trying to be useful! Let's hope her threats to destroy Zacchara aren't just to tease us.

No one's going to tell Olivia that her boyfriend's in the hospital? That's cold. Speaking of Olivia's love life, if she isn't careful, people are going to start suspecting that she and Dante have something going on.

September 15th, 2009

Elizabeth and Nikolas have sex and immediately regret it. Elizabeth wants to tell Lucky the truth, but Nikolas doesn't want to hurt him. He also thinks that Lucky will forgive Elizabeth but not his own brother. Elizabeth tells Lucky that she wants them to try counseling, then accepts his proposal. Zacchara tries to turn things around on Claudia, saying that she wanted Johnny dead. He also notes that their relationship is a little icky. Claudia warns that she and Johnny will work together to kill Zacchara, but he thinks Johnny would never turn against him. Sonny tells Olivia about Johnny's surgery and she rushes off to be with him. Johnny tries to throw Claudia out, which leads to a Claudia/Olivia catfight. (It's a draw.) Sonny wants to question Johnny about the shooting, but Olivia tells him that if he approaches Johnny, she'll tell the police everything he and Claudia have ever done. Sonny and Jason wonder if someone in their organization was responsible for Johnny's shooting, though they're not sure he was the intended target, since Dante was originally supposed to be present. Sonny wants to somehow use Dante to shut Zacchara down. Lulu visits Dante, who manages to confirm that she and Johnny are completely over. She finds it strange that he feels bad for Johnny because he didn't really choose to be in the mob, and she notes that Dante sounds more like someone who wants to shut down the mafia than someone who works for it. Jason asks Sam to spend the night.

As president of the We Hate Elizabeth Club, it's my duty to declare, we hate you, Elizabeth! I predict she'll be pregnant by November. Also, speaking of clubs, she's officially in the Slept With Siblings Club.

As annoying as Claudia is, and as sick as I am of her being a jerk about Olivia, I laugh whenever she calls her Bensonhurst. I don't know why. If Claudia were smart (so, you know, this will never happen), she would turn Zacchara against Olivia and get him to threaten her, which would immediately make Johnny want to get rid of him.

How exactly is Sonny planning on using Dante against Zacchara? I think that plan's going to need more thought. Or, you know, any thought.

Thank you, Zacchara, for noticing that Claudia and Johnny's relationship is...weird. I'm glad I'm not the only person to see that.

September 16th, 2009

Michael tracks down the fortuneteller and confides that he's been seeing things but isn't sure whether they've happened yet. She first tells him to wait and do nothing, then says, "Some villains are vague. Some villains are clear. Some stand by the bed. Some are in the mirror." He doesn't get it until he gets home and sees Jax in a mirror. He then calls Sam and tells her that he thinks Jax ordered the hit on Sonny that put him in a coma. As Elizabeth tries to stall her and Lucky's marriage plans, Nikolas doesn't let on to Rebecca that anything out of the ordinary has happened. Lucky announces the engagement to them and Nikolas hides his shock, later confronting Elizabeth alone. Molly goes parental on Jason, warning him to be careful with Sam. Ethan asks Edward to convince Rebecca that no good can come of a relationship with Nikolas. Tracy wants Rebecca to stay away from Edward, but Edward, of course, disagrees. Spinelli wonders if he's making a mistake marrying Maxie. Morgan wants Dante to stay at the Jacks home while he recovers.

More Molly and Jason! Heck, just more Molly! Also, explain why Spinelli and Maxie want her and Kristina in the wedding!

I hope Lucky goes on a rampage when he finds out what's going on with Elizabeth and Nikolas. It'll be completely deserved.

I love that Edward wants Floyd to stay in office because he's a philanderer, which means he can be manipulated. I'm guessing they're in the Cheating Spouses club together and have to have each other's backs.

Aren't Spinelli and Maxie getting married in, like, nine days? And they still don't have a location? Yeah, this'll work out great.


Sarah Brown is leaving the show. Please, please, PLEASE let them kill off Claudia. It will put an end to this interminable plotline and get rid of a character with no redeeming qualities and no reason to be on the show anymore. (Nothing against Brown - I think she's great, and she's done especially well in a thankless role, but man, is Claudia annoying.)

September 17th, 2009

Sam tries to convince Michael that Jax had nothing to do with his shooting, but Michael isn't swayed, so much so that he decides to confront Jax about what happened. Claudia overhears Sam telling Jason that Michael's starting to remember what people said while he was comatose. Johnny continues to tell Claudia to leave him alone, which, of course, makes her angrier. Olivia advises him not to trust anyone in the Corinthos organization, including Dante. Ronnie thinks Dante should take advantage of Morgan's invitation to move into the Jacks home so he can get right in the middle of Sonny's family. Lucky and Elizabeth start therapy with Lainey, Lucky looking more and more foolish by the second. Robin urges Maxie to cancel the wedding if she's not ready to get married, but Maxie's willing to get married and secretly take birth control to prevent getting pregnant.

Oh, Jax, just tell Michael that Jerry was behind his shooting. It'll shut him up.

If I were Greg Vaughan, I would be really ticked about what they're doing to Lucky. Though I think at this point he's just happy to have a plot.

Really, Maxie? Really? Poor Spinelli.

I wish I could get Claudia to leave as easily as Johnny can.

September 18th, 2009

Sonny confides in Dante that he doesn't trust Johnny and wants to use him against Zacchara. He asks if Dante would be willing to kill Johnny if Sonny ordered him to, and Dante says he would. Dante visits Johnny and thanks him for taking his place in the warehouse. Olivia spies the two of them shaking hands and getting along too well. Sonny keeps up his end of the agreement, telling Zacchara that if anything happens to his family, Johnny gets a bullet in the head. Jax tells Michael that he does know something about the shooting but won't reveal it so Michael won't accidentally tell Carly. Carly overhears them talking but they convince her that they're discussing the recent Zacchara incident. Jason and Sam show up to talk to Jax, making Carly suspicious, but Jason tells her he's not going to let her in on what's going on. Jason and Sam tell Jax about Jerry's appearance in Mexico, and Sam finds it strange that the three of them are working together. Claudia asks Johnny for help now that she's afraid for her life again, but his only advice is to leave the country. Elizabeth is jealous of Rebecca and hiding it badly.

If only Zacchara would be swayed by Sonny threatening Claudia. He could kill two birds with one stone. Uh, literally.

Why does Johnny still work for Sonny anyway? Didn't he only get the job so he could spy on Sonny and Jason for Ric, so Ric would leave Claudia alone? Hi, Johnny, Ric left town. You can stop now.

I can't believe they pulled that Jason/Sam love song out of the vault and are using it again. I feel like we should all take a drink whenever it's played, but drinking at 3:00 in the afternoon probably isn't healthy.

Eli's ribs: continuity that just won't die.

Engaged: Lucky Spencer and Elizabeth Webber
Injured (finally hospitalized): Johnny Zacchara

September 19th, 2009

Next week: Claudia's life probably is in danger after all, Olivia still doesn't know how to solve a problem, and there's going to be a wedding, it's just not clear whether anyone will actually get married.

September 21st, 2009

Zacchara uses Olivia to press Sonny's buttons, so Sonny decides that he's going to use Johnny as leverage to keep her safe. Jason thinks he really just wants to get rid of Johnny so he can have Olivia, and he also thinks the better idea would be to make Johnny an ally and turn him against his father. Sonny is set on killing Johnny if need be, and Claudia's most likely going to lay into him about that, since she overhears him saying it. Lulu encounters Dante while visiting Johnny and they engage in some more flirting. Ronnie brings Dante his badge to remind him that he's a detective, not a mobster, and pushes Dante to share the information he's gathered against Sonny. Dante declines to tell him about his potential role in Johnny's potential death. Lulu returns and spots Dante's badge. Elizabeth continues to lie to Lucky, then pictures Nikolas when things start to get romantic. Nikolas offers Ethan a million dollars to keep Rebecca away from him. Jason asks Robin for some details on coma patients and memories, but she can't offer much concrete help. She urges him to consider how Michael might feel if people are killed because of him.

I love how Johnny and Olivia keep talking about how casual their relationship is. Their relationship is the least casual of any couple on the show. Including the married ones.

Repeat after me, Dante: "It's for Morgan's Halloween costume." Or, "It's an inside joke between me and Ronnie." There you go, I just saved your butt.

Lucky's just too pathetic right now. Can they have him, like, kick a puppy or something? Or maybe just yell at Ethan? He needs to give us a reason to not feel sorry for him all the time.

Actually, maybe he should hold off on yelling at Ethan, because I think Ethan's about to get AWESOME.

September 22nd, 2009

Elizabeth and Olivia get drunk together and realize how much they have in common. Elizabeth confesses that she's marrying Lucky and loves his brother, but Olivia keeps all of her secrets to herself. Claudia agrees to let Sonny use Johnny as leverage against Zacchara if he'll have another baby with her. Michael chastises Sam for telling Jason why he asked for her help, then has another flashback, this one of Claudia telling him she had to protect Johnny. Jason joins the conversation and promises not to kill anyone on Michael's behalf. Dante tells Lulu that his badge is stolen, then distracts her with a game of cards. Maxie gives Spinelli a bunch of specifications for their wedding location, so of course he finds a place that has them all. Ethan refuses to do Nikolas the favor of basically breaking up with Rebecca for him. He tries to get Lulu to talk some sense into him, but she'd rather stay with Dante.

Okay, have Olivia and Elizabeth ever even met each other? Olivia seemed to know a lot about Elizabeth for not interacting with her much.

No, Sonny, don't get her pregnant! Then you can't kill her! You're ruining everything!

Is this wedding really going to happen? Because...I mean, really?

Dang it, Ethan, why'd you give up the chance to be awesome? On the other hand, I have to surprise even myself and give Nathan Parsons (Ethan) a MOTE for the way he got increasingly frustrated by Dante.

September 23rd, 2009

Olivia yells at Sonny some more about his job and how he puts people in danger. Claudia kicks her out and tries to get Sonny back in bed for another attempt at baby making, another subject that makes Olivia mad. It makes Carly mad, too, as Claudia goes out of her way to talk about it within Carly's earshot. Spinelli has an easier time making Jason wear a pink tie to the wedding than he does trying to convince Mac to like him. Even Patrick and Robin can't help him out. Lulu rearranges Kate's schedule so she'll be out of the country during the wedding, accidentally ridding Maxie of her last chance at having her wedding interrupted. Matt suggests that he and Maxie run off to the Bahamas so she doesn't have to get married, but she's determined to follow through. Michael has a bad first day at his new school and ends it prematurely when he remembers Sam visiting him and encouraging him while he was comatose. Sam informs him that it never happened and he wonders if anything he's remembered is real. Dante misplaces his badge and learns that Lulu accidentally took it home with her. She returns it but it might get spotted by Jax and/or Sonny.

I don't get why Jax changed his mind about asking Dante to move in. But at least when Olivia shows up there, it'll be reasonable, since she works for Jax and Carly.

Why hasn't Sam moved back into the penthouse yet? She's always there anyway.

Ronnie's getting more screentime than Kate, who won't even be at her employee's wedding. Seriously, Megan Ward, get out and get out now.

Today's MOTE goes to John J. York (Mac) for tying those ribbons like he was tying a rope around Spinelli's neck. More Mac, please!

September 24th, 2009

Mac has freak-out upon freak-out over the wedding but can't stop the rehearsal from going forward. Maxie has a freak-out of her own and spills her feelings to Jason, begging him to force her to go through with the wedding if she looks like she wants to bolt. Spinelli sadly overhears their conversation. Jax swipes Dante's badge before Sonny can see it, later returning and letting Dante know what he knows. Sonny invites Dante to move in with him and Claudia, an idea Olivia hates but which Jax loves, since it will help him get information he can use to bust Sonny. Michael thinks he's going crazy because of his false memory and confides to Carly that he's remembering things from his coma but they may not all be real. Carly tries to reassure him that things will eventually be okay. Jax seems relieved to hear that Michael no longer believes everything he's remembered. Michael then has a full memory of Claudia confessing to and apologizing for her role in his shooting. Claudia brags to Carly that she's the one with Sonny and their child will one day take over the organization. Johnny leaves the hospital to see Olivia, so she takes him to her place.

Yeah, Claudia, I'm sure Sonny will let your so-far-non-existent child take over the organization after his repeated refusals to let Michael join up. Are you gone yet?

Funny how everyone's making a big deal about Michael skipping school when apparently Kristina and Molly skipped, too, in order to go to the rehearsal. Also, I have to say that I love Father Coates, and I especially love how they keep bringing him back.

Was there a point to the Olivia/Johnny scenes?

Today's MOTE goes to Kelly Monaco for the way Sam hilariously covered Molly's eyes while Maxie and Spinelli were kissing. Very cute.

September 25th, 2009

Maxie begins her wedding day with a nightmare in which it's a few years down the road, Spinelli is a full-fledged mob soldier, they have two noisy kids, Mac is crazy, and Lulu is Kate. Though she's still not completely happy with her decisions, Maxie goes through with the wedding preparations and steels herself for the ceremony while Spinelli does the same. In the end, Spinelli uses his vows to tell Maxie that he loves her but isn't going to marry her. Patrick has to tell Mac to shut up about his feelings for Spinelli and let him be with Maxie. Dante tells Lulu he only came to the wedding to see her. Molly warns Sam not to do anything Romeo and Juliet-ish that will ruin her relationship with Jason.

I knew they'd have to address what Spinelli overheard yesterday, so when he got to his vows and still hadn't said anything, I figured it would come then. I'm sure Maxie will talk him into going through with the wedding, though.

I'm officially 100 percent behind a Lulu/Dante pairing.

Aww, Molly. You're too awesome. Can you let some of your awesomeness rub off on Kristina?

Thanks for the Max mention, Milo, but would you care to elaborate?

September 26th, 2009

Next week: Kristina's starting to get a clue, Claudia actually gets a clue, and two long-MIA characters finally return.

September 28th, 2009

Spinelli tells Maxie that he loves her enough not to force her to get married when she doesn't want to. Mac is so relieved that he passes out, then spends the duration of the reception at Jake's getting drunk and hitting on Alexis. Johnny and Olivia profess their love for each other. Kate shows up at the reception unexpectedly, causing Dante to hightail it out of the bar, even though, as he notes to Olivia later, she hasn't see him since he was eight and probably wouldn't recognize him. Jason faces stage fright when it's his turn to give a toast, so Morgan gives one for him. Lulu confides in Dante that she's jealous of Maxie and Spinelli's relationship. He assures her that someday she'll have someone of her own, then dances with her while everyone else serenades Maxie and Spinelli with "I Want to Know What Love Is." Molly catches Kristina flirting with Ethan and chastises her for doing something that would upset Kiefer. Jason catches the garter and Sam catches the bouquet.

I can't stop hoping that tomorrow's episode starts with Mac and Alexis waking up in a room above Jake's.

I love Kate when she's like this. Can we just have Kate be nice to everyone from now on?

Robin and Patrick are just too freaking cute, especially her teasing that Coleman is her secret lover and their private conversations involve them planning their next rendezvous.

Really, Kristina? You like Ethan? That's so wrong.

Thanks for showing up for one scene, Matt. And you'd never know that Bobbie was at the wedding.

Today's MOTE has to go to John J. York for playing drunk and making me hope yet again that Mac and Alexis really do get together.


Holy freaking cow, you guys. I...I don't know what to say. Next you'll be telling me Amber Tamblyn will be coming back.

September 29th, 2009

In between flirting with and making out with Coleman, an increasingly drunk Kate recognizes Dante. Olivia tells her to keep it quiet, but it's too late - Claudia has already overheard the news about "Dominic"'s true identity. Everyone gets drunk and/or crazy, resulting in karaoke performances by Ethan (INXS's "Need You Tonight"), Morgan and Molly (the Jackson Five's "ABC"), and Mac, Patrick, and Coleman (the Village People's "Macho Man"). Dante invites Lulu to go to another bar with him, but she decides to go home and mope. Kristina overhears Sonny confiding in Mike that he doesn't really want to have a baby with Claudia but feels obligated to because Kristina caused the first baby's death. Ethan accuses Nikolas of knowing where Luke is and keeping it a secret. He and Lulu both receive text messages from Luke saying that he's in trouble and needs them to hurry to "Cas." Robin tries to play matchmaker for Lulu and Matt. Jason invites Sam to spend the night again, this time with some new atmosphere. Kiefer is still creepy.

I can't wait till Claudia inevitably tries to blackmail Olivia with the info about Dante and Olivia throws the shooting back in her face.

Holy cow, did Kate have more screentime than Sonny today? How weird.

The best part about Mac singing karaoke with Coleman and Patrick is that he most likely won't remember the next morning and will be really confused when people talk to him about it.

So who set up all those candles in the penthouse? Bernie?

Today's MOTE goes to Johnny (the character, not Brandon Barash) for nicknaming Coleman the utterly stealable Captain Mustache.

September 30th, 2009

Olivia warns a hungover Kate to keep her mouth shut about Dante's identity, and Kate assures both her and Dante that she will. Claudia taunts Olivia and Kate that they're about to get hit by something, making Kate wonder if she knows what's going on. Later, Olivia catches Claudia seconds away from her spilling to Dante what she knows. Michael remembers Carly talking to him while he was comatose and learns that the memory is real, leading him to realize that not all of his memories could be false. Kristina tells Sonny he shouldn't have another baby with Claudia not least because the child will know that one of its parents didn't want it. Sonny promises to have more of a role in her life. Kristina celebrates her victory by inviting Kiefer over. Lulu and Ethan head off to Greece, where Luke is trying to break out of a cell and a woman who may or may not be Mischa is trying to keep Helena from talking to Nikolas. Alexis confides in Elizabeth that she thinks Nikolas is going to go full-on Cassadine because of Rebecca.

Geez, Claudia, you don't even know what leverage is, do you?

Kristina may be book smart, but can she spell "daddy issues"?

Okay, be honest: who else went, "Awwwwwww" when Greg Vaughan came on screen? Also, he's in for another bummer whem Lulu and Ethan don't show up to his barbeque.

Look, writers, either have Nikolas go Cassadine or not. Stop having people talk about it.

Thanks, Alexis, for telling Sonny not to procreate anymore. That might have been the actress speaking, though.

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