"Lorelai Out of Water"
Written by Janet Leahy; directed by Jamie Babbit

Lorelai and Rory stare at their garage and try to remember how long it’s been since they cleaned it. They think it’s been four years. They know that they need to clean it out now so that Lane’s band can practice there (see “That’ll Do, Pig”). They open the doors to find a ton of boxes, some of which were supposed to have been given away two years earlier. Rory finds her Hug a World, a stuffed globe which is mostly faded. Lorelai wants to throw it out, but Rory has fond memories of it. They then realize that it’s moving and something is inside it, which makes Rory run inside to take a shower. Lorelai wonders if Lane’s band can practice in the kitchen, since they don’t use that either. Luke tries to work at the diner, but the noise from the construction outside disturbs him. He goes out and finds Taylor and Tom looking over blueprints Taylor is using to renovate the building he’s going to lease from Luke. Taylor tells Luke that he hasn’t returned his lawyer’s calls about the lease agreement, so they need to set up an assignment to sign papers. Luke would rather have Luke bring the papers over in person, but Taylor wants to do everything legally and professionally. Lane and her band set up in the Gilmores’ garage with the agreement that they have to stop playing by 8. Zach flirts with Lorelai a little and Lorelai tries to get Rory to help her out of the situation. Rory calls her Pamela des Barres and points out that Zach is cute. Zach invites Lorelai to a gig they have next month, but Lorelai tells him she has a medical condition that prevents her from listening to music. After she leaves, Zach tells Rory that Lorelai is hot. Lane promises to thank Rory in the band’s first album’s liner notes, right after Jesus.

Dave tells Lane that since they now have a place to practice, she needs to work on her playing. After he walks off, Rory complains to Lane about how Dave told her to play like a guy. Lane says that he didn’t mean that; the two of them are trying not to let Zach and Brian know that they’re dating, so he’s only acting like a jerk to throw them off. Rory wonders why Lane isn’t bothered by that. Lorelai and Alex (see “I Solemnly Swear”) go on their coffee date; Lorelai enjoys it, since she gets a bunch of free samples. They talk about their kids (he has two), and then Alex mentions that he likes camping and fishing. She pretends to like fishing and he invites her to come along. Lane meets Rory at the bus stop and announces that her mother is letting her go to the prom. She made a deal that Mrs. Kim would get to sign off on chaperones and her dress, and the boy she wants to go with will attend a few family dinners before the dance. Mrs. Kim replies, “Maybe,” which is a good sign. The girls buy makeup as Lane tells Rory that her mother let Dave sit in their pew at church; she actually made Lane move so he could sit. She thinks that by the time her mother agrees to let her go to the prom, she’ll feel like she picked out Dave herself. Lane adds that Mrs. Kim asked Dave to perform at a family wedding that weekend. Rory notes that she’s usually the only non-Korean allowed at family weddings; Lane says that she’s an honorary member of the family, so it’s different. Rory asks for details on the wedding. Apparently Lane’s cousin James couldn’t find a wife in the U.S., so his family had a girl brought over from Korea for him. Lane and Rory will be helping the bride get ready for the wedding.

At the inn, Lorelai chastises herself for agreeing to go fishing with Alex, since she’s too old to lie to guys about her interests. Sookie admits that when she first started dating Jackson she told him she liked frogs and wound up with a frog collection. Lorelai decides that she can tough out fishing just once. At Chilton, the student council gathers for a meeting and Louise and Madeline discuss the fact that they’re running out of guys to date. Paris is 15 minutes late, so the faculty advisor tells Rory to start the meeting without her. She starts to do so as Paris arrives and takes over. She announces that one of their own has forsaken the oath they all took at the beginning of the year. She produces evidence that Rory has been “committing high crimes and misdemeanors,” specifically “conspiring with the various factions of this school to weaken the efficacy of this administration.” Paris accuses Rory of espionage and treason, then moves to impeach her. The advisor tells Paris that they can’t impeach, since they’re a student government, so Paris asks for a vote for a resolution to give them the ability to impeach. After another refusal, Paris demands that Rory resign. Rory replies that Paris should resign and the girls fight over it. Madeline and Louise discuss boys again. At the diner, Luke and Jess meet Taylor’s lawyer, Nicole Leahy (Tricia O’Kelley), who’s brought over the lease agreements. Luke and Nicole discuss her job as Taylor’s lawyer (which makes him feel sorry for her). She informs him that he and Taylor are now officially in business together. She tries to pay for the cup of coffee Luke gave her, but he notes that it’s a business expense, so Taylor should pay for it. After she leaves, Jess tells Luke that Nicole was hitting on him and encourages him to go out with her.

Lorelai goes to the diner and asks Luke if he has any interesting stories. He notes that she’s thrown off when Rory is late. Rory arrives with books and informs Lorelai that they’re going to study up on fishing. They read a little and surprise Luke when they fill him in. He thinks that there’s a better way to learn how to fish - actually fishing. He mentions that he fishes and offers to show Lorelai how. They make plans for him to come over the next day. At Chilton, Rory and Paris are both called in to see Headmaster Charleston. While they’re waiting, they call each other “weak-kneed turncoat,” “Nixon’s bad seed,” and “daughter of Judas.” In the headmaster’s office, Paris announces that Rory is upset because she submitted a bad article and Paris had to edit it. Rory denies this and points out that Paris tried to have her impeached. The two start fighting again and yell at each other to shut up. Headmaster Charleston is forced to guess why the girls are fighting; he wonders if it’s over a boy. Paris thinks this makes him sexist. He finally determines that Rory will continue to serve on the student council, since she was elected to her position. He points out that if the girls can’t solve their problems in this sheltered environment, there isn’t much hope of them solving other problems out in the real world. They need to set a good example and make a good name for Chilton or he’ll reconsider the recommendation letters he wrote to Harvard for them. Back outside the office, Rory can’t decide if she’s more embarrassed that they were chastised by the headmaster or that she and Paris “had a ‘shut up’/‘no, you shut up’ fight” in front of him. She asks if Paris feels as horrible as she does. Paris doesn’t.

Luke brings his fishing stuff to Lorelai’s house, where she’s dressed up for her expedition. He tells her that she’s not ready for the lake yet, so they’re going to practice fishing in the kiddie pool he’s set up in her yard. He puts trout in the pool and tells Lorelai not to get too attached. Of course, Lorelai starts naming the fish. Luke gives her a lesson and asks why she’s suddenly so interested in fishing. Lorelai lies that some of her friends are going. He challenges, asking if Sookie and Rory are going, and she admits that it’s all because of a guy. Luke offers to let Lorelai borrow a pole and a tackle box. The morning of the fishing trip, Lorelai asks Rory to make coffee, but Rory never wants to do anything for her again. Apparently, instead of setting her own alarm for 5:15 in the morning, Lorelai set Rory’s, knowing that Rory’s scream would be more reliable. Alex arrives and asks Rory if Lorelai has ever been fishing before. Rory replies that “she’s a well-seasoned fish killer.” He sends her back to bed. The Kim family wedding preparations begin at the Kims’ house; Dave arrives and Lane is embarrassed to be seen in an ugly dress. Lane heads upstairs, where Rory is doing the bride’s hair. Lane digs out a secret makeup stash, since the Mrs. Kim-approved makeup isn’t in very good shape. They discuss Dave and the fact that both girls are in happy relationships. Rory doesn’t think that Lane likes Jess; she assures her that it’s all right. Mrs. Kim arrives and Rory rushes to hide the makeup. After she goes, Rory and Lane talk about how many people have gotten married in the house over the years (46). They discuss one bride, who snapped and attacked her husband with a carrot peeler. (They’re still married.) Lane laments that this might be the last wedding for a while, and the girls are sad that their lives are changing.

Luke spots Nicole outside the diner and goes out to talk to her. He warns her against jaywalking, since Taylor would be unhappy, and makes sure that he signed the papers correctly. He then asks if she wants to have dinner with him sometime. She accepts. When he goes back inside, he preemptively tells Jess to shut up. After the wedding at the Kims’, Rory decides to skip the reception to see Jess. Mrs. Kim introduces Lane to the boy she wants to take her to the prom. Lane tries to get out of the date, then blurts out that she wants to go to the prom with Dave. Mrs. Kim notes that he’s not Korean. Dave asks Lane if everything’s okay and Lane repeats that he’s not Korean. Rory returns home to find Lorelai in the bathroom with a fish she accidentally caught when the cork fell off of her hook. She’s named her Jayne Mansfield and isn’t sure how long she’s going to keep her in the bathtub. Lorelai says that she’s planning to go out with Alex again, but they won’t be camping. Rory suggests sending the fish back into the wild, but Lorelai thinks that it’s too late, since she’s already domesticated. They decide to keep her and teach her tricks.


MEMORABLE QUOTES: Rory: “These guys aren’t just allowed to go into someone’s garage.”
Lorelai: “Well, the note said it was okay.”
Rory: “Well, how did he know that the note was authentic?”
Lorelai: “I wrote it on Powerpuff Girls stationery. Who’d he think was setting him up, Hello Kitty?”

Taylor: “I have acquired all the necessary permits to do exactly what I’m doing, and all of this has been looked over and approved by the town magistrate.
Luke: “You’re the town magistrate!”
Taylor: “And as such, if you have any complaints about me, you may take them up with me.”

Louise: “I don’t know what to do. It’s time to break up, but he seems so happy.”
Madeline: “You could date his brother.”
Louise: “I guess, but that’s so ‘been there, done that.’”
Madeline: “We could switch.”
Louise: “Isn’t that how I got him?”
Madeline: “Oh, yeah. Wow, it really is time to go to college.”

Lane: (wearing an ugly dress) “Uh, this will not be the mental image you carry around of me the rest of the week.”
Dave: “No, it won’t. Hold on, I just saw the back. Yes, it will.”

Rory: “I fell off my chair.”
Mrs. Kim: “Oh. Well, don’t.”

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