"Email Surveillance"
Written by Jennifer Cellotta; directed by Paul Feig

Michael is enjoying the morning in his office when he spots a guy wearing a turban coming towards the building. He tries to make a phone call, then tells his employees to turn off the lights, lock the doors, and pretend they’re not there. Later, he interviews that he and the IT guy didn’t get off to a good start. The IT guy does some things to Michael’s computer and learns that his password is the highly uncreative 1234. Dwight tries to find out from Michael why the IT guy is there, noting that if something happens to Michael, Dwight will need to know what to do. Michael interviews that he’s being equipped with the ability to read his employees’ e-mails. He tries out his new ability by searching for “Michael,” “boss,” and “funny,” which leads him to an e-mail from Stanley complaining about Michael. Word gets out to the employees and Oscar asks Michael what’s going on. Michael tries to calm everyone by telling them that Big Brother is actually a nice term. “I gotta erase a lot of stuff. A LOT of stuff,” Kevin interviews.

As Angela and Dwight secretly talk about deleting sensitive e-mails, Pam talks to Jim about the possibility that the two of them have something going on. This grosses her out and she likens it to squishing a spider and having to check to see if it’s dead. She asks the camera crew to let her know if they notice anything that supports her theory. Pam talks to Dwight about a hypothetical situation involving a friend of hers having to choose between two women, a tall brunette and a short, perky, judgmental blond. “Does he have access to their medical records?” Dwight asks. He interviews how great it is to be a volunteer sheriff’s deputy and have access to that sort of thing. Michael searches his employees’ e-mails and sees that a bunch of them have been invited to a barbecue at Jim’s that night. Pam asks Angela if she’s bringing anyone to Jim’s, but Angela didn’t think they needed to. Pam then notices her buying two candy bars and makes sure the camera guy sees.

While Michael annoys some of his employees with a toy, he interviews that he has to keep a distance from them because of intimidation and the need for them to realize that they’re not him. He thinks he’s approachable as “one of the guys,” but he thinks maybe he could be “even approachabler.” At lunch, he joins Pam, Jim, Oscar, and Kevin in the kitchen and talks about how in college, everyone would go to parties together, even the professors. Jim interviews that he’s having a party and didn’t invite Michael because he wanted everyone to relax. Also, he wants his roommate to meet Dwight to see that he is, in fact, a real person. At the reception desk, a camera guy gets Pam’s attention to show her that Dwight is eating one of the candy bars Angela bought. Dwight asks Jim a question about directions to his place and Jim asks him to keep quiet because not everyone knows about the party. He tells Dwight that Michael doesn’t know because it’s a surprise. Later, Jim fills Pam in and she wonders if they can get Dwight to hide and wait somewhere. Jim tries to nonchalantly ask if Roy is coming; he’s pleased to learn that he isn’t.

Towards the end of the day, Michael asks Jim about his plans for the evening. When Jim says he has plans, Michael says he has an improv class. When the day is over, Michael tries desperately to find someone to talk to, but they’re all in a rush to get out. Even Dwight won’t give in, and Michael is hurt that Dwight is lying to him about his plans. Everyone gathers at Jim’s, where his roommate Mark has the pleasure of finally meeting Dwight. Pam arrives just in time for a tour of the apartment, which isn’t that impressive. Ryan asks Jim if Katy is coming, but Jim admits that they haven’t talked for a while. Ryan wants to know if he can call her. Michael attends improv class, where no one wants to do a scene with him. He pretends to be FBI agent Michael Scarn (see “The Client”) and interviews that he always has a gun in a scene because it’s the most exciting thing that can happen. The teacher isn’t happy about this, though, because Michael just shoots everyone in the scene (plus people who aren’t in it) and ignores the set-up. The teacher makes him hand over all his imaginary guns.

Pam takes a detour from the tour to hang out in Jim’s bedroom, where he joins her and they try not to talk about work. Pam starts looking through Jim’s yearbook and he watches her. Michael’s improv class ends early when he still can’t keep guns out of his scenes. At Jim’s, Angela basically refuses to have fun while Oscar, Stanley, and Kelly are unable to think of anything other than paper to talk about. Pam spots Dwight and Angela talking and calls Phyllis over to talk about office romances. Phyllis thinks she’s confirming her own romance with Pam. At the grill, Kevin keeps Ryan from getting near the flames, calling him fire guy (see “The Fire”). Michael tries to tag along to a bar with his improv classmates, but they blow him off. At Jim’s, Phyllis does karaoke and Pam tells Jim that she’s giving up on investigating a possible Dwight/Angela pairing. As Kevin is singing “I Will Survive,” Michael arrives and is upset to see that even the IT guy has been invited. Later, he tries to get someone to sing “Islands in the Stream” with him, but no one will until Jim finally takes pity on him. Elsewhere, Angela and Dwight go at it without anyone noticing.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Dwight: “You could get a brain aneurysm.”
Michael: “I’m not going to get a br--.”
Dwight: “Or get hit by a car.”
Michael: “Stop.”
Dwight: “Or a bus or a train. You could get poisoned. Fall down a well. Step on a mine. Choke.”
Michael: “Okay, if I step on a mine in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and die, you can have my job, okay?”

“There are certain things a boss does not share with his employees. His salary. That would depress them. His bed.” - Michael

“I’ve got three cases of imported beer. Karaoke machine. And I didn’t invite Michael. So three ingredients for a great party.” - Jim


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