"The Festival of Living Art"
Written by Daniel Palladino; directed by Chris Long

Rory does laundry at home while Lorelai asks her if she’d be horrified if she started clipping coupons again. Rory says yes, then wonders when Lorelai clipped coupons before. Rory grabs the coupons from her so she can’t take them. In the garage, Lane and her band are auditioning new guitarists to replace Dave, but so far the choices haven’t been very appealing. Rory notes that the washing machine is broken, which Lorelai didn’t mention before she came all the way home. The music in the garage stops and Lane comes into the kitchen and sticks her head under the faucet in the sink. After Lane leaves, Rory and Lorelai battle over coupons again. Later, Lorelai heads to Sookie and Jackson’s house and meets Jackson’s brother Beau (Nick Offerman). Sookie tells Lorelai that Nick isn’t happy to be in Stars Hollow because he was supposed to come for the baby’s birth, but now that it’s a week overdue, he’s missed more work than he wanted to. Jackson, however, seems to enjoy the extra time and is getting a lot done. Sookie tells Lorelai that they’re planning a home birth in their own bed. They think this is healthier, a great tradition, and eliminates the possibility of bringing home the wrong baby. They give Lorelai a baby pager so she’ll know right away with Sookie goes into labor.

Stars Hollow’s citizens gather at the dance studio for an emergency town meeting. Kirk is happy to tell people that Lulu (see “An Affair to Remember”) is his girlfriend. Lorelai tells Rory about the home birth, admitting that she tried to be supportive but is a little freaked out. Lane joins the girls and tells them that she found a great guitarist to audition for the band. Rory notices a woman staring at her (Lorelai calls her Mrs. Van Uppity). Taylor starts the meeting, announcing that Connecticut’s annual Festival of Living Pictures can’t be hosted in Woodbury this year, so he has offered up Stars Hollow. Everyone is excited, even though they only have a week to assign roles and come up with a new recreation. Mrs. Van Uppity, aka Buff Otis, turns out to be the head of the Connecticut Arts Council. “Your enthusiasm…shocks me,” she says. The girls aren’t sure if that’s a good thing. Taylor says that he’ll manage and emcee the event, Miss Patty will stage-manage, and Lorelai will organize costumes. Babette asks Lorelai if she’s going to be the girl in the Renoir painting, as she was seven years earlier. At the diner, Lorelai and Rory discuss the festival; Lorelai is thinking of trying a different role but Rory says that the audience expects Lorelai as the Renoir girl. The girls fill Luke in on the town meeting. “His lack of enthusiasm shocks me,” Lorelai comments.

Rory is debating doing something backstage when she spots Taylor and Biff watching her from outside. Lorelai thinks that they want Rory to be in the newest recreation. Taylor tells Rory to turn to the side; “this is a violation of my civil rights,” she complains to her mother. The festival participants gather at the studio to find out what roles they’ve received. Kirk is happy to learn that he’s playing Jesus in The Last Supper. He announces that he’s going to do a lot of research and asks what book he should read. Lorelai suggests the Bible. Miss Patty shows Lorelai a painting called Portrait of a Young Girl Named Anthea, which they want Rory to be in. Lorelai is surprised that she’s not the Renoir girl again and asks Taylor if it’s a mistake. He tells it’s because seven years ago, she flinched. Lorelai denies this, but Taylor claims that everyone in town saw. (Miss Patty confirms this.) Lorelai goes to Yale with Rory to do laundry and Rory chastises her for using laundry detergent she probably bought with a coupon. Lorelai complains about not being the Renoir girl and taunts the woman who got the role over her. Rory says that if Taylor wants her as Anthea, he’ll have to let Lorelai be the Renoir girl. She decides to wait until the dress is fitted for her before she announces the terms of the agreement.

Lane’s band sets up for auditions in Lorelai’s garage, excited to meet their potential new band member. Gil (Sebastian Bach) arrives and the band is shocked by how much older he is than them. In the town square, Taylor, having given Lorelai her role as the Renoir girl back, tells her that she’d better not let him down. The troubadour arrives for his fitting and Kirk immediately turns on him when he learns that he’s Judas in The Last Supper. In Lorelai’s garage, Lane and Gil are happy with the way things are turning out. Gil goes off to call the sandwich shop he owns and Brian and Zach talk about how old he is. Lane doesn’t think it matters, since he’s a good guitarist. “He was our age when we were born,” Brian says. Zach says that they should continue the audition so they don’t seem rude, but they all have to agree on whichever guitarist they wind up picking. Lorelai heads to Jackson and Sookie’s and learns that their midwife’s name is Bruce. Beau is still upset that he’s missing work and that there’s nothing to do in Stars Hollow. Lorelai meets Bruce, who isn’t happy that Lorelai has brought “anti-midwife energy” with her. Lorelai promises to leave all negativity at home when she’s present for the birth. Bruce tries to get Jackson and Beau to “serve the baby”; they head out to get flowers and balloons.

Later, Sookie and Lorelai take a walk and Andrew comments that Sookie has been pregnant almost as long as elephants are. They also run into Kirk, who’s trying to get into character by eating historical foods. Taylor is upset that they only have half of the table for The Last Supper; he thinks that Hank (Woodbury’s version of Taylor) is trying to sabotage them. The townies brainstorm solutions to the problem but Taylor thinks they should just call it quits. Kirk starts talking in faux-Jesus speak to try to convince everyone to keep going. Lorelai and Sookie approach Luke, who thinks that Taylor is going to ask him to build the rest of the table. Lorelai tells him he doesn’t have to, but he keeps talking about how he doesn’t want to. Lorelai sees the crowd gathered around Kirk and wonders if they have loaves and fishes. Rory heads home, where Babette tells her to check out the band’s new guitarist. Rory meets Gil and, after he leaves, Lane asks her for her opinion. She thinks he’s great and Lane points out that he’s their only possibility. Brian is okay with Gil, but Zach vetoes him, so he’s not in. Lane notes that this could be it for the band. In the middle of the night, Sookie comes to the house, stressed because she still hasn’t gone into labor. Lorelai shows her a box of stuff from the night Rory was born. They calm down while thinking about Rory and Emilio Estevez.

The night of the festival arrives and Kirk continues to show animosity towards the troubadour. Lorelai brings Rory her ferret and Miss Patty tries to get Taylor to calm down. Taylor is panicking because Hank from Woodbury is sitting right in the middle of the front row, and Taylor thinks he’s just waiting for him to screw up. Lorelai makes the ferret talk but doesn’t help anything. She compliments Rory, who feels “very painty,” and advises Kirk to take off his Gumby/Pokey watch. Taylor starts off the festivities while Miss Patty announces backstage that someone has parked in a no-parking zone. The troubadour replies that he thinks Kirk did. “You Judas!” Kirk exclaims. Rory does her portrait while Miss Patty has to break up a fight between Kirk and the troubadour, chastising the apostles for not doing something. Everyone stops fighting long enough to do the portrait. Rory meets up with Lane in the audience, where Lane spots Gil. She decides to say hi to him quickly and call him the next day to tell him he’s not in the band. He’s already figured it out, however, but tells Lane about his past experiences on the road. Lane tells him that he’s actually in the band after all. Gil happily shares the news with his wife and kids. “Our guitarist is married,” Lane tells Rory. “You made his kids happy, too,” Rory replies. Backstage, Kirk and the troubadour keep arguing.

Nicole shows up at the diner and Luke tells her that he fixed the table for The Last Supper. Nicole mentions how ironic it is that getting married is what caused them to break up. Now she’s not sure she wants a divorce. She wants to try to get back to their relationship the way it was before they got married. She suggests that they date, which Luke thinks sounds weird, but Nicole doesn’t think it sounds that stupid. Backstage, Lorelai feels rushed for the Renoir portrait and finally admits that she did flinch seven years earlier. Rory tries to calm her down and finally tells her, “Close your eyes and think of England.” Lorelai does fine until the baby pager goes off. She manages to stay frozen until the curtain closes, then runs off to Jackson and Sookie’s house with Rory.


MEMORABLE QUOTES: Jackson: “The little thing will come out and carom right down into the catcher’s arms.”
Lorelai: “While we all yell, ‘Hey, batter, batter, batter’?”

“I’m here for you and your sexy beard, Taylor.” - Lorelai

“Yo, where are my apostles? Where are my homeboys? James, son of Alpheus, give me five.” - Kirk

“On the outside, I am a mature adult who’s able to put setbacks like this in their proper place, and on the inside, I just wanna wear that pretty dress again!” - Lorelai

Luke: “It looks like you’re having twins.”
Sookie: “You’re gonna to make me fall in love with you, Luke.”

Rory: “You guys look so cute. You know, it was just seven short years ago that I was a little Chinese acrobat just like you.
Kid: “You smell!”
Rory: “And we respected our elders when I was a little Chinese acrobat.”

“Was she the one shaking me in the middle of the night yelling, ‘What motivated you to come out of your mother’ over and over?” - Rory, re: Sookie

Luke: “Christ’s table was broken, so I fixed it.”
Nicole: “He’s a carpenter, he should have fixed it himself.”

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